Chapter 14: Success For This Hopeless Party!

The lone firetruck fell out of the air, crashing into what had once been the path leading up to the Devil King's castle. Now, all that surrounded it was ruins.

Within the truck was a gaggle of adventurers huddled together. Everyone was holding on to either Kazuma or Wiz, who in turn were holding the source of the devastation, Megumin the Crimson Demon, who had just cast her Explosion spell directly on the Destroyer's coronatite core, blowing up the giant mecha and by extension, incinerating everything within the castle's protective dome save for the indestructible truck they were safely inside.

"That… was… AMAZING!" the girl panted as she slumped into Kazuma's arms. "I've never been able to do two Explosions in one day before!"

"That's the power of Drain Touch, baby!" Kazuma reached a hand into his pocket, searching for something. "Taking just a little bit of mana from everyone, we were able to fully charge you without pulling too big a drain on anyone, not to mention… Yes! It worked!"

"What? What is it?" Aqua asked him, just as curious as everyone else why he was staring at his Adventurer Card with such a wild grin.

Kazuma proudly held up the sheet of paper. "Since all of our energy went into that Explosion, we all got the experience from it!"

Darkness' eyes widened and she quickly pulled out her Adventure Card. Sure enough, she'd just made the staggering jump from level nineteen straight to a whopping forty-four. It was a miracle. She didn't think she'd ever heard of anyone gaining twenty-five levels at once before. And to think she would get that much even when the experience was being divided eight ways. Just how many monsters had they wiped out? Even with the Devil King himself and likely at least a couple of his generals, this seemed astounding.

It was hard not to drool at the thought of how much she could increase her HP with those skill points. After this, she might actually be able to take on something like the Destroyer's self-destruct. She shuddered with excitement just thinking about it but she decided to wait until later, slipping the card into her back pocket for now.

"Hey, no fair!" Megumin whined as she was set down on an empty chair. "All that experience should've been mine! I could've set the record for the youngest person to ever reach level one hundred!"

Kazuma reached into her dress despite the girl's protests and everyone else's startled reaction before quickly pulling out her card. "Relax, you still leveled up a ton."

"Kazuma!" Darkness shouted indignantly, suddenly wishing that she could have swapped places with the Arch Wizard. It didn't seem fair that she was the one to get groped when Darkness was right there.

"Right, right, should have said what I was doing first." Kazuma held his hands up defensively before walking over to the door and opening it. "Anyway, we should probably go out there and check the area. You know, make sure there weren't any survivors or anything. Except someone needs to stay behind and make sure that Megumin's alright, so I'll go ahead and bite the bullet on that. Now, what are you waiting for? Chop chop!"

Their party leader walked back around the group and practically shoved them out of the vehicle, slapping Darkness and Aqua on their respective asses as he did so. Darkness let out an excited yelp while Aqua turned around and slapped him across the face. Undeterred, Kazuma slammed the door shut behind them.

Everyone seemed a bit stunned as the reality of what they'd done was still settling in. Had they really just defeated the Devil King without even a fight? She was starting to feel a bit let down but perhaps there would still be a chance for her to be subjected to the cruelties of at least one of his generals if one truly had survived as Kazuma had suggested.

"Alright, you heard Kazuma," she told the others. "We need to search for any signs of life, as well as verify any casualties we can. The Destroyer's self-destruction was powerful but so are the Devil King as his minions. Let's spread out and if anyone finds anything, call out for the others."

"Got it!" Elsie said cheerily before running off.

"Stupid lazy NEET, making us do all the work," Aqua grumbled as she walked away in the opposite direction, Emperor Zell trailing close behind.

Keima stared at his feet, his hands fidgeting as if he were playing with that strange box of his. He really did have a problem.

"W-we'll search over there," Yunyun stammered before grabbing her apprentice's hand and leading him off toward where the castle had once stood.

Meanwhile, Wiz had a look of horror on her face as she stared up at the sky. "What have I done?"

"You helped us to not only save Axel from the Destroyer but to potentially defeat the Devil King himself!" Darkness pointed out proudly. Those words felt strange to say. They had defeated the Devil King! "Truly, Belzerg owes you a great debt, as do I."

"Um, yes," Wiz said quietly. "B-but perhaps it's for the best that you and the others take the credit for this. I-I'm already a famous adventurer, after all. I don't need any more fame. And, um, I think I need to go."

Before Darkness could object, Wiz cast Teleport again and quickly vanished. Thankfully, that didn't mean that they were stranded there since Yunyun also knew the spell and had their mansion registered as one of her set destinations. In fact, she'd apparently had it registered even before moving in with them, for some reason. It still seemed strange that the shopkeeper would be so quick to leave, though.

"Augh! Help!"

Before Darkness could dwell on that, though, Megumin started screaming from inside the truck. Darkness tensed up, a thousand sickening scenarios passing through her mind of what that absolute scumbag Kazuma could be doing to her in there. She had to get in on that action- um, rescue her friend! She rushed to the firetruck and yanked the door open.

"Get your hands off of her, you vile…" her voice trailed off as the scene before Darkness' eyes didn't match any of her expectations. "...cad?"

"Yo, wazzup?" Kazuma was simply leaning back calmly in his seat, Adventurer Card in hand as Megumin squirmed and swore up a storm. Where did that girl even learn such vulgar speech? "Don't pay attention to her, nothing's going on in here."

"Like hell, there isn't!" Megumin snarled. "That bastard is forcing himself on me, right this very instant!"

Darkness just glanced back and forth between them, utterly baffled and confused, before she finally realized it. That wasn't Kazuma's Adventurer Card in his hand. He tapped the card to confirm his selections and Megumin shuddered before he lazily tossed it over to her and picked up another.

"How dare you!"

"W-what did you just do?" Darkness asked, too stunned to react.

"Gave her Intermediate and Advanced magic," Kazuma explained as he fiddled through the skill selections on the new card. "Maybe she might actually be useful now. But don't worry, Megs, you've still got points left over to boost your Explosions."

"I will end you, you worthless NEET!" Megumin shrieked. "And just because you forced those spells on me doesn't mean that I'll ever use them!"

"Yeah, we'll see," Kazuma shrugged before tapping the card again. The hairs on the back of Darkness' head suddenly shot up as the familiar sensation of new skill acquisition filled her. She wasn't sure if she should be outraged or ecstatic as Kazuma handed her card back to her. When did he even get his hands on it, she'd just put it away in her…

Oh, he hadn't just groped her for the fun of it earlier. That was disappointing.

"Did you steal everyone's cards?" Darkness asked, sounding as angry as she knew she should be at this surprise turn of events.

"Nah, just you two and Aqua." Kazuma fiddled with the final card he held. "I can actually trust the others to spec themselves out properly. Well, Keima and Yunyun, anyway. Maybe I should have grabbed Elsie's when I got the chance."

Darkness stood there trembling. She could feel her face turn as red as a Crimson Demon's eyes and her mouth quivered. She wanted to jump him but couldn't quite tell if she would have tried strangling him for doing this or… something more pleasurable. Instead, she merely looked down at her Adventurer Card to see what changes he'd made.

"Two-Handed Sword?" she gasped as she read off the one skill that she'd sworn never to learn.

"Maybe now you can hit the broadside of a barn." Kazuma chuckled as he tapped the final card, which must have been Aqua's, and a loud yelp sounded outside. "Would've given you some grappling skills since that seems more up your alley, but it looks like those are Monk exclusive. Man, not being able to multiclass must be a bitch for the rest of you."

Something in Darkness finally snapped.

Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!

Aqua was wandering through the ruins of the Devil King's castle, absently watching her adopted son peck at a specific pile of rubble. Something seemed to have peeked the dragon hatchling's attention and with his no-doubt impressive magical senses, she wondered what it could possibly be.

She was also glad to see that he was growing nice and strong. It had only been a few days since he'd hatched and yet he had nearly tripled in size and she could see that his tail was finally starting to grow out. By her baseless estimates, he should start molting soon.

Then she nearly fell over at the sudden, unexpected sensation of new skill acquisition. Confused, she reached into the pocket of her dress where she normally kept her Adventurer Card only to find that it wasn't there. Emperor Zell looked up from what he was doing to stare at his mother, clearly sensing that something was wrong as her mind flashed back to Kazuma's earlier illicit behavior. That bastard had swiped her card and was messing with her stats without her permission!

"Hey!" Aqua yelled loudly as she turned back to the magic fire engine where the boy who was about to face divine judgment was waiting. She started to storm off before turning back to the chick and motioning for him to follow. "Come along, Emperor Zell. Mommy's gotta teach Daddy a lesson."

The baby dragon chirped excitedly and ran along behind her. Aqua's sudden outburst a moment ago had also gathered the attention of the others scouring the area and by the time they got to the truck, everyone had gathered. Aqua angrily swung the door open and barged inside, ready to chew Kazuma out. She faltered, however, as she took in the sight before her.

Kazuma yelped helplessly, flailing around as Darkness… wait, was she strangling him or humping him? Both? Megumin cheered from where she had fallen onto the floor in the struggle.

Having already completely forgotten what she was angry about, Aqua struggled to pull the angry, horny Crusader off her best friend. Wait, was Kazuma her best friend? Regardless, Elsie and Yunyun both joined in and together they managed to pull the snarling Darkness off of him.

Kazuma sat up, gasping desperately for breath. Then Aqua remembered what she came there for and smacked him upside the head before he could recover.

Needless to say, the trip home was not a pleasant one for Kazuma. Not that he managed to learn anything from the physical abuse, mind you. In fact, no one learned anything from this encounter except for Emperor Zell, who learned that violence was, in fact, the answer to everything.

Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!

The celebrations in Axel that night were understandably grand. There was a lot to celebrate, after all. The town hadn't been destroyed! The Destroyer that had nearly obliterated so many cities and civilizations was no longer a threat aimlessly wandering the countryside! Even the Devil King himself was missing, presumed dead!

And yet as Keima sat in the corner of the Adventurers Guild main hall watching the others cheer and drink, he didn't feel much like celebrating. His hands fidgeted as if holding an invisible game controller. Keima liked to believe that he had enough self-control that he could have stopped playing games if he needed to, if circumstances required his complete focus elsewhere, but to have it so abruptly ripped from his hands, he was still in shock at what had happened. Sure, it was for a good cause but he was still having trouble rationalizing that.

"H-hello." And there was the other thing that was bothering him at the moment. Yunyun walked up to Keima nervously and he did his best to swat away the mental images burnt into his brain of the previous night's dream. Or perhaps nightmare was a more accurate descriptor. "A-aren't you going to party with the others? They all seem to be having a good time."

Keima looked for their companions around the hall, if for no other reason than to avoid staring uncomfortably at the girl in front of him. Megumin was standing on a table, posing dramatically as she regaled a crowd with an overly embellished recounting of the day's events. Somehow that seemed to involve an epic duel against the Devil King where Megumin singlehandedly defeated him with one of her signature Explosions.

Over at the other end, Elsie seemed to be teaching Darkness and a few other women how to dance the can-can. He didn't even know where she had learned that but they seemed to be having a good time. Especially Darkness, who looked like she was enjoying how the onlookers stared at her legs. Meanwhile, Keima spotted Kazuma and Aqua getting into an argument over at the bar, both completely shitfaced drunk.

"Not really my thing," Keima said at last, turning back to Yunyun but keeping his gaze just over her head. "But don't let that stop you. Go, enjoy yourself."

"Um, actually…" Oh, no. Keima didn't like where this was going. "Uh, I-I-I'm not so big on crowds. I-I was w-wondering if I could sit here with you?"

Damn it, that was exactly what he didn't need right now. Keima buried his face in his hands and internally screamed before weakly trying to pass off the motion as just rubbing his nose and smiling back up at her. He needed a way to get rid of her without tipping her off that something was wrong. He really just needed some time to himself.

"If you're not comfortable, perhaps you should head back to the mansion early?" he suggested, hoping that she'd take the bait.

"Oh, no," she shook her head. "I-it's not that I don't want to be here, I-I j-just need a bit of space."

Keima struggled to mask his emotions as he nodded and she took a seat beside him on the bench. He wondered if there was any way this situation could have gotten any more uncomfortable.

"Hello, Keima. On behalf of the people of Axel, I'd like to personally thank you for your part in today's emergency quest. You have done this city, and the country, a great service."

Yes, yes it could. Sena bowed before sitting down on his other side. He wanted to scream, especially as she then proceeded to lean into his arm and nuzzle up against his shoulder. Why? What had he done? Couldn't she just go back to hating him? He felt like he preferred that.

"It seems that I misjudged you," Sena whispered into his ear as her fingers danced across his chest. "You know, I'd be up to a second date if you're up to it. Or perhaps a bit more?"

The prosecutor, who Keima could tell from a whiff of her breath was a bit tipsy, crossed her legs so that one of her feet was resting on his lap. In response to Sena's blatant advances, Yunyun pouted and grabbed his other arm, pulling him closer to her.

No.

Nonononono.

NO!

Two girls fighting over him was the last thing he needed, ever. Especially when he wasn't interested in either of them.

"Why, aren't you popular with the ladies?" A tall, voluptuous, rose-haired woman who felt oddly familiar to Keima walked up to them. Sena tensed as the woman approached. "But I guess that's no surprise for such a thoughtful young man as yourself."

"What are you doing here, Mistre-uh, Madam?" Sena practically hissed.

"The same as you, I would imagine." The woman gave a soft smile as Keima finally placed her voice. He hardly recognized the succubus in a modest dress and without the wings sticking out of her hair. "I wanted to thank our hero of the day. They say you're the one responsible for ensuring that the Destroyer didn't explode before your party could get it out of the way."

"That's… a bit of an exaggeration," Keima said nervously. He needed a way out of there, fast.

"Ah, and so modest," the succubus whose name Keima still didn't know gave a faint laugh before settling down on the bench beside Sena. She reached around the other woman to place her hand gently on Keima's shoulder. "Truly a hero in the making, right ladies?"

Damn it. He was building a harem, wasn't he? He didn't want this.

'Whatever god might be listening, please give me a way out of this.'

'We're sorry but the number you have reached is currently unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep. *Buuuuurrrp*!'

Damn it, Aqua.

"Wait, who are you?" Yunyun asked the new arrival.

"Me? Oh, I'm no one important," the succubus replied. "I just own a local inn. You two are welcome to stay anytime for free, by the way. Or perhaps the three of you would like a room together?"

Nope. Keima shot up from the bench so quickly that he ended up knocking Sena onto the succubus' lap. "You know what, I'm going to go get us some drinks."

Unlike Kazuma or even Elsie, Keima hadn't taken to drinking even though he was allowed to in this world and hadn't touched a drop of alcohol yet. But, if this was just his life now then there was no way in Hell, Old or New, that he was getting through this sober.

He worked his way through the crowd to the bar, where Kazuma and Aqua were still drunkenly arguing. He had no choice but to listen in on their shouting as he waited for the bartender.

"I'm telling you, this ish going to be the shtart of my popular phashe," Kazuma slurred out. "Girlsh are going to be lining up for me after thish."

"Hah, ash if," Aqua snorted. "Like you could ever get a girl!"

"Shcrew you!"

"Schrew you!"

"Maybe I will!"

"Yeah, I dare you, coward!"

Keima grabbed a tray of pints and booked it out of there. They weren't even his order, justsomething that a waitress was supposed to pass around to the gathered adventurers but he didn't care. Even his growing harem he didn't want would be less painful to be around than that mess. He navigated back to the bench where the three women were… where the four women… where five women were waiting for him. Why the hell were Wiz and Luna there now? The lich seemed even paler than usual, her eyes darting about like wild, while the receptionist was chatting with Sena about something.

Keima briefly considered running away, fleeing the country and changing his name so that he could live life as a hermit somewhere where no one would ever find him. Then the rational part of his brain pointed out that doing so would be far too much work. No, he just had to grin and bear it until he could find a reasonable way out. What was that old phrase? Lie back and think of England? Wait, he wasn't British. Lie back and think of Japan?

Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!

A loud pop sounded above the smoking crater that had once been the Devil King's castle as a lone figure teleported in. Hanging in the air right where the tower that had once served as his personal quarters had been, the Devil King unfurled his bat-like wings for the first time in ages. He looked down at the barren wasteland that had been his domain in horror as he slowly descended. He felt like he was in shock as he mentally calculated the casualties.

It was only his quick thinking and a Teleport spell that had spared the Devil King's life. For as powerful as he was, even he wouldn't have been able to survive that level of destruction. Actually, scratch that. The Devil King wasn't all that powerful. Sure, he had been much stronger than the average demon back when he was still at his prime but his true power had always been his ability to boost the strength of his allies, especially in his advanced age.

But since he'd teleported out of there just as the Destroyer had exploded, his followers and underlings had been cut off from his passive support at the moment that they needed it most. In his panic, he'd abandon his people to their fate. He'd failed them and now his followers were dead.

His people were dead.

His daughter was dead.

Kyoichi Yasaka fell to his knees and let out an inhuman cry of anguish and grief as tears of fire ran down his cheeks. In that one second of weakness, he had lost everything that had ever mattered.

He did not know how long he spent crying nor did he care. Even he was allowed this one moment of weakness and vulnerability. But eventually, that moment ended and he forced himself to stop. His knees cracked as he stood back up and for a moment he thought that he might throw out his back.

Taking a deep breath to recompose himself, the Devil King began to search the ruins. He could sense his Power Boost ability triggering, meaning that someone was still alive under all of that rubble. Walking around until he found the point where the connection was strongest, he began trying to dig them out with his bare hands.

Eventually, he pulled up a small black device. At first, he thought it was just a stone, perhaps obsidian, before recognizing the design from descriptions he'd heard from reincarnated heroes that his men had tortured for information over the years. What was it that they had been called? A 'portable gaming device'? Giving the foreign object a closer look, he sensed a great power within, unlike anything that he had ever felt before. Finding a way to open the device, he pulled out the battery pack, the source of the phenomenal power.

Throwing the rest of the device away, the Devil King pocketed the battery. He did not know how but he knew that it would be important later. But at the moment, he had other priorities. He continued digging away at the rubble until at last he uncovered an arm. The flesh was badly burned but he could tell that the buried body it was attached to was a woman, still alive. For a moment, one precious moment, he hoped, prayed to the dark gods that it was his daughter before he reached out with his power to boost her body's natural healing abilities and strength. He soon realized that she couldn't have been her, though. Her base stats were completely wrong

But even if she wasn't who he desperately wanted her to be, he would save this woman and any other survivors of this massacre. And then…

Then he would plan his revenge against whoever dared attack him in his home, slaughter his people and take his precious daughter away from him. He would pay them back a thousandfold. By the time he was through, the rivers and seas of Belzerg would run red with blood.

A reckoning would soon be at hand.

Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!

In the next exciting chapter of God's Blessing, God Knows: A Bone For This Virgin NEET!

The blonde crusader finally looked up and spotted the two unexpected guests in her bed, standing there like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck. Kazuma could swear that he saw gears grinding in her mind as she processed the scene in front of her.

"Guys, what the fuck!" A certain silver-haired thief suddenly kicked down the door and stormed into the room.

"B-b-by the t-time y-you read this, I will- I will already- will a-already b-be d-d-dead."

Author's Notes: *Final Fantasy victory fanfare plays* Look at that, our heroes did it! They've just gotten the biggest level up of their careers and the whole town is celebrating their flawless success. Certainly, nothing bad could possibly come of this. Now let's see how they managed to mess it all up.

If this fic were structured like an anime, this chapter would probably mark the end of Season 1, with the next chapter being the opening of Season 2. What new (mis)adventures await Kazuma and the gang? You'll just have to wait and see. Or not, since you're most likely going to be reading this sometime after I originally posted it, when the upcoming chapters are already out.