Before it got steamy between Nathan and Elizabeth, I think we all loved their fun and meaningful conversations. Part 2 of this Schoolhouse chapter dives into both. This section picks up where the couple left off - they'd just raced to the schoolhouse from the forest on Newton and Sergeant and enjoyed the radiance of the setting sun, looking first to the west and then to the often more remarkable views of the east. Nathan and Elizabeth had finished a portion of their dinners and were just starting in on new conversations.
There will be a Part 3 to this schoolhouse stop. Although this Part 2 was nearly written to completion yesterday, a few scenes seemed to insert themselves last minute into when Elizabeth's shares her journal entry, so Part 3 will be best to stand alone.
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The 1st UNchaperoned Date
Segue from Chapter 3: The Schoolhouse - Part 1
Elizabeth glanced around the classroom. "I can't believe school is starting up again next week!"
"How is Little Jack feeling about school?" Nathan asked.
"Oh, he's so excited!" she replied, then added, "Thanks for asking," with the same heartfelt gratitude she'd once expressed over apple juice.
With the thoughts of Little Jack fresh in her mind, she viewed Nathan with new eyes as she affectionately watched him nibbling at his second sandwich. Although he was decidedly all man with his musculature frame, there was something still so adorably boyish about him.
Her curiosity piqued, Elizabeth couldn't help asking, "Nathan, what were you like as a little boy?"
Chapter 4: The Schoolhouse - Part 2
"Well, at Jack's age," Nathan remembered, "I loved being outside … fishing, playing baseball, catching frogs."
Elizabeth smiled, endeared already. Just like Little Jack. Awww, she thought, seeing Nathan in a whole new light – Little Nathan. No, that wasn't quite right – too formal and too serious for a small boy. Little Nate. She could easily picture all his cuteness – slight, not so muscular yet, floppy brown hair, bright, curious blue eyes, a dimpled smile, and most definitely clad in suspenders.
"Did you like school as a boy?" Elizabeth asked, thinking of Little Nate, trying to decipher whether he would've been the soft-spoken bookworm type or the fun loving prankster. She could see a little bit of both as a possibility.
"I liked it some," he admitted honestly, "but what I really loved was recess."
Ah, Elizabeth thought. Somehow that didn't surprise her. So probably a little more playful at six than into books quite yet. She shifted on the wooden bench, angling herself toward Nathan in a more conversational position. Then he followed suit, allowing for the outer edges of their turned-in knees to touch.
"Well, when you weren't at recess, did you have a favorite subject?" Thinking of how articulate and clever his recent love letter was, she couldn't help but suggest, "English perhaps? Now I know what an exceptional writer you are."
Nathan gave an appreciative, but slightly shy smile at the reference to his love letter. Then, returning back to her question, he replied, "English? No." With some sudden sadness in his voice, he added, "Colleen was the writer."
Elizabeth waited to reply, hoping he might share more.
"Some siblings are peas in a pod, but we were oil and water, salt and pepper," he said with a chuckle. Then Nathan's demeanor shifted. His sparkling blue eyes dimmed in their luster as they focused on something far off in the distance. "Colleen's world was in her journal, in her stories, in what could be created and communicated with words."
Nathan's memory hung in the stillness of the air.
He was surprised at these memories surfacing. But the dull ache now in his heart reminded him how he somehow seemed to miss Colleen more as time went on rather than less.
Drawing himself back to the original question, Nathan said definitively, "My favorite subject was science. I wanted to know what was certain and factual and what I could discover for myself."
Elizabeth was sure in this moment she fit the role of a sentimental heroine hanging on every word of her love interest. But she couldn't help it. How many conversations had she had with Nathan over the years? He said what needed to be said. That was Nathan. She knew that Nathan well. But this new side of him was captivating. Instead of only sharing what was needful, he was actually expounding, though no one could ever accuse Nathan of rambling.
"Any particular branch of science?" Elizabeth pressed.
Nathan's brow furrowed a moment as he tried to remember, "Definitely physics," he began. "I loved tinkering … and biology, too. I especially loved animals … still do."
Elizabeth's inner self danced a tiny victory jig at his remark. With a little more enthusiasm than she intended, she exclaimed, "I knew it!"
Amused, but confused, by Elizabeth's outburst, he asked simply, "Knew what?"
She poked a finger at Nathan's chest. "I saw you pretend to be annoyed with Scout, trying to move him along to another family. But you're really just a softie! I mean look at your connection with Newton!" Elizabeth was now descending into giggles. "In the forest, you just explained our relationship to a horse!"
"You laugh," Nathan said all serious like, "but animals know far more than most people realize. Take Scout, for example Couldn't you tell how delighted he was to deliver your letter? He really was putting his best self out there for you."
Elizabeth's face immediately transformed into her cute puppy look, with her lower lip in a slight pout. "He looked so proud," she remembered fondly. "His little tail wag …" she added, swishing her own hand back and forth at the memory. "That was so fun to include him."
"Well, and if we're talking more openly now," Nathan started only slightly embarrassed about what he was about to say, "I'm convinced Scout knew exactly what he was doing when he neglected to warn me you'd entered the jail."
A brilliant idea came to Elizabeth just in the nick of time. Playing innocent, she asked, looking bewildered, "What do you mean … when I entered the jail? When did I enter the jail?"
"No, I mean the office – the Mountie office. You know, that day you …" Observing Elizabeth more closely, he could clearly tell now she was pursing her lips together to stifle a smile.
As Nathan shook his head in disbelief, his eyes shot up to the ceiling, then back to Elizabeth's teasing eyes.
"You're going to make me say it?" he asked, suddenly feeling the blush rise to his cheeks.
Elizabeth nodded, the corners of her mouth threatening a smile.
"Really?" Nathan asked, attempting a pouty face.
Nathan now wore a permanent grin on his face he couldn't seem to calm, partly flustered by Elizabeth playing this little game with him, but at the same time entirely into her flirty ways.
"Yes, really," she answered, folding her arms across her chest, as if expecting a response from a procrastinating student.
"All right," he said, ready to take on the challenge.
He pursed his own lips together to attempt a more serious look. Then, just like the day of the ice cream fight at the parlor in town, Nathan dramatically scanned his hand over his face. I can do this, he thought. I'm a Mountie, the epitome of cool under fire.
Nathan cleared his throat and looked straight into Elizabeth's mischievous eyes, "I'm referring to the day you walked in," he managed in an impressively controlled voice, "unannounced mind you," he added, pointing a finger right at her face, "and …" Nathan tried to continue but the images of Elizabeth's shocked face flooded his mind. The problem he remembered, was that for at least a second, he didn't realize he was shirtless. So worst of all, he just stood there as if welcoming Elizabeth to the "show."
He held in a laugh by tucking in his lips like he'd seen Elizabeth do so many times. But eventually, a chuckle escaped his mouth as he tried to look away from Elizabeth, who was still peering at him intently, as well as expectantly. He not only was revisiting Elizabeth's shock in his mind, but as she confessed in the forest, he did clearly remember those couple of extra peeks. It was that last thought that did him in.
He could tell Elizabeth loved seeing him squirm. She was a little too good at this, he thought, realizing he was just digging himself deeper into a pit of awkward self-consciousness.
"So what exactly happened Constable?" Elizabeth's smile broke through.
Admitting defeat and embracing the embarrassed grin on his face, Nathan expressively brushed his hands beside his chest, down and out, and said, "This happened. No shirt. And there was Scout, the Mountie dog, playing clueless! As I said," Nathan finished, pink cheeks and all, "Scout knew exactly what he was doing."
"Ah, so I have Scout to thank for that moment," Elizabeth responded coyly. "I'll have to bring him a bone."
A few more giggles escaped Elizabeth's mouth before she settled into the reality of the game she'd just made Nathan endure. "I'm sorry, Nathan" she offered, placing an apologetic kiss on his lips, though she again had to purse her lips to prevent more laughter. "That may have been a little mean. But I couldn't resist."
Nathan took in Elizabeth's bright, playful eyes. He had no idea love with Elizabeth could ever feel so … so … sweet, so fun, freeing, and fiery. He admittedly was lovestruck by this incredible woman, "'Lizbeth, you have far more fire in you than I knew," Nathan said, chuckling in spite of himself. "And I love it," he added, taking a few unintentional glances at her lips.
"It's actually surprising to me, too!" she said. "I think you must be my inspiration." Now blushing herself, Elizabeth confessed out loud, "How can I help myself?" lifting her left arm to rest her hand on his broad shoulder. As her twisting torso inched her face even closer to Nathan's, they unintentionally launched an eye to lip stare off. With eyes that conveyed such a deep sense of connection, the silent exchange ended quickly into two brief, but spicy kisses.
Both fully understanding how impossible any degree of intimacy was sitting on these unforgiving church pews, Elizabeth, an experienced teacher, steered them back onto their conversation track.
"Anyway …" she said, drawing out the word and smiling, "Where was I …"
As they pulled their full attention back into the schoolroom and their brown lunch bags and red apples came into view, Nathan and Elizabeth realized they still had some eating to do as well. Settling back into their sandwiches, they each took a couple of bites before reconnecting to their earlier conversation that had been so wonderfully sidetracked.
"Do you see this connection in all animals?" Elizabeth asked, seasoned at redirecting a classroom.
Nathan felt whiplashed by the sudden shift. He was going to need a while to cool down from Elizabeth's unanticipated interrogation. With admiration, he noted that questioning was likely a super skill of teachers as well as Mounties.
Now it was his turn to question again, trying to return his focus. "What was the question again?" he asked, amused at suddenly feeling like a student who'd been caught not paying attention. "I'm having a hard time focusing for some reason," aiming a smile at Elizabeth.
Picking up on the humor of this unexpected teacher/student vibe, Elizabeth took on a more serious tone. "The question, Nathan," she began, "was if you see this connection – like the one you have with Scout and Newton – in all animals?"
"Ah," he replied, now remembering the trajectory of their previous conversation. "In many, I'd say."
"Did you have any pets growing up?"
"No, but not for lack of trying," Nathan answered with a bit of a hopeless sigh.
"Now that sounds like a story!" Elizabeth said with curiosity.
"Well," Nathan started, "it turns out what I loved most as a boy were snakes."
Elizabeth gasped, a priceless look of disgust now spread across her face, "Snakes?!"
Nathan laughed at the sudden change in her disposition. "Clearly you'd agree with my mother."
Elizabeth sat in awe at how freely Nathan settled into sharing far more words than his usual few. Her heart burned with love as she felt each word drawing her deeper into all that he was under the surface. She felt desperate to keep that flow open.
"One summer I gathered snakes," Nathan started. "Colleen and I tromped through every meadow and along the edges of Fraser river and Burnaby Lake."
Elizabeth noticed the softness that entered his eyes as he mentioned his sister.
"Every time we found a snake, I'd snatch it up behind its jaws." Much to Elizabeth's dismay, Nathan took the liberty to demonstrate with his hands. "Then, I'd hold it up, out and away from me, while Colleen would frantically flip through our book to determine if it was poisonous or not."
At Elizabeth's horrified expression, Nathan assured her, "I only kept the ones that weren't poisonous!"
She wasn't sure that made her feel any better, though the image of floppy haired Little Nate holding out a wriggly snake made her heart swell. Hesitating, not positive she wanted to know the answer to her upcoming question, she asked trepidatiously, "How big were these snakes?"
"Most were about a meter, maybe two on occasion." Nathan shrugged, "It was hard to tell as a kid, but a good portion of their bodies were still slithering on the ground after I held them up."
Before moving on, Nathan paused, taking a moment to appreciate this new look on Elizabeth's face he'd not yet seen. He was enjoying telling this story even if just to watch Elizabeth's expressions. He clearly didn't need to ask whether or not she liked snakes.
Continuing on with his story of pets, Nathan said, "Over the first couple of weeks of summer, we maybe saved ten." He then backtracked to explain, "But first, Colleen and I built a massive cage outside. Every time we added a new snake, the others would coil around it into a tangled mess. In the dark, it was hard to tell they weren't just a pile of ropes!"
"Ewww!" Elizabeth squealed, considering what it might feel like to accidentally grab a handful of snakes when thinking you're getting ropes.
As creeped out as Elizabeth was by the serpentine family, she sensed the wonder that cute and curious Little Nate must have experienced as he witnessed these animals interact. She adored how animated Nathan became while telling the story, regularly using his hands to mimic the snakes' movements. This glimpse into his childhood had completely captivated Elizabeth.
"We'd watch them for hours … Colleen and I" Nathan recalled, "... toss in mice to keep them fed. Sometimes we'd throw sticks in, even really thick ones, and the snakes would coil around the twigs until they'd snap the wood in two!" Thoroughly enraptured by the memory, Nathan explained, "I don't know if they felt threatened by the sticks or just enjoyed the game. But, we sure liked watching them!"
Elizabeth cringed as she asked, "Did you ever hold them?" shuddering at the thought.
"Some," he answered. "But just me. Colleen hated how they felt slithering up her arm." At this, Nathan's mischievous side took the opportunity to trace a snakelike pattern up Elizabeth's arm with his finger.
"Nathan Grant!" Elizabeth shrieked, jumping up from her seat.
Laughing at her reaction, not having predicted it would be quite as intense, he reached for her hand apologetically and pulled her back in beside him.
He chuckled even more, remembering, "That's about how my mom called to me from the house one day." Continuing on, Nathan explained, "We only had the snakes for maybe two weeks before every mother in the neighborhood was complaining to mine."
Elizabeth gave him a knowing look. He could definitely tell which side she favored.
In the snakes' defense, Nathan said, "They weren't even doing anything." Elizabeth's expression remained unchanged. "And they were enclosed," Nathan added. Still no change. "But I guess their presence was … bothersome."
Elizabeth loved seeing Nathan's characteristic head tilt at the word, "bothersome," and wondered when that endearing gesture started. She instantly knew she'd melt on the spot if Little Nate initiated such a movement, especially paired with pleading blue eyes. Creepy or not, as far as she was concerned, the snakes could've stayed.
With a disappointed sigh, Nathan helplessly held up his hands and announced a different verdict, "My mother asked me to get rid of them."
"What did you do?" Elizabeth asked, not really wanting to know how one "got rid" of snakes.
"Well, my six-year-old self saw only one solution. I knew I needed to let them go. And, in fact," he recalled, "That's exactly what my mama said, 'You need to let them go.' So, I thought, it's just like a fish. You remove the hook and let it go – back into the water to swim away."
That seemed logical to Elizabeth. She was unbelievably grateful to not be hearing about a whole cage full of snakes being brought to a gruesome death. Even if she did think they weren't God's loveliest creatures, she especially didn't want to think about adorable Little Nate inflicting the death penalty! If an ax is involved, she definitely favored wood chopping.
"So," Nathan said matter of factly, "I followed the same thought process. I stood as far back as I could from the cage and then lifted the top with a stick. Colleen was there, too, just standing much farther away. My mama had said we needed to make sure they were all gone. So we stood to the side and dutifully watched them slither away, one by one."
Elizabeth felt relieved at the story, a little sickened in thinking about ten slithering snakes, but grateful at least they were released back into the wild.
Nathan was all smiles now. "Really, Colleen and I were just as thrilled with this parade of snakes as we'd been to gather them and watch them." With a sudden seriousness and now wearing a look as if he'd been caught, Nathan added, "Unfortunately, neither of us anticipated what would happen when you let go of nearly a dozen snakes into a neighborhood, even if the homes were spread out."
A sudden eerie realization dawned on Elizabeth's face. She started shaking her head quickly back and forth saying, "No, no, no," ending with a shudder.
"Yes," he said simply, a smile ready to burst from the corners of his mouth. "For weeks the neighborhood mothers had reason for even greater complaints … snakes in the wood piles."
"Ewww! No!" Elizabeth squealed, and then started to laugh.
"Snakes in the gardens … snakes in the curtain rods."
With each new location unveiled, Elizabeth's contagious laughter grew increasingly louder.
"Snakes in the closets … snakes under the couches!"
"Stop, no! Please" Elizabeth shrieked, fanning her two hands in front of Nathan's face. "I can't handle any more!"
Breathless and clutching their sides, Nathan and Elizabeth couldn't remember the last time they'd been completely lost in laughter. But it felt particularly liberating to get lost together, sharing in these lighthearted moments. Both, in fact, were even gasping now to cover a few missed breaths stolen by their laughs.
Catching Elizabeth's twinkling eyes, Nathan added, "And probably worst of all …" to which Elizabeth shook her head, pleading with her eyes, not wanting at all to know the worst spot a slithering snake might suddenly appear …
"Snakes in the bathtub …"
Elizabeth's closed fists shot up to cover her eyes. "Ewww! No!" she squealed with several shudders. Then looking at Nathan with horrified eyes, "Can you even imagine … sitting in a nice, sudsy bath, and then …?"
As Nathan's eyes met Elizabeth, suddenly their thoughts shifted entirely from snakes at the mention of bathing. Sensing even the mention of baths to be unbelievably risky terrain, Nathan quickly diverted the conversation back to the story.
"Needless to say, I was not a favorite in the neighborhood after that among the mothers, but," he added, raising a finger dramatically in the air, "I definitely was among the kids."
A few soft giggles escaped from Elizabeth, echoing the amusing outcome that had just unfolded in Nathan's story. Somehow in Nathan's telling it, she could picture his innocent love of animals unexpectedly transforming into a colossal neighborhood nightmare.
After a few big sighs to appease their lungs, Nathan and Elizabeth's shoulders relaxed, and a sense of lightness lingered in the air, as if the laughter had momentarily lifted all worries away. Elizabeth's eyes softened as she soaked in the sparkle that filled Nathan's countenance after such a story. She subconsciously rubbed her cheeks, which surprisingly ached from the full smile this man continually brought to her face.
"How I wish I knew you as a little boy, Nathan … Little Nate!" Elizabeth gushed.
Nathan smiled wistfully, "That's what Colleen called me, actually … Nate, I mean."
Elizabeth's heart ached for Nathan, and for Little Nate, too, for all their hardship. She suddenly felt especially protective of the little boy in this giant of a man.
"I can imagine your little dimples," she said, softly pushing her finger into the creases by his mouth, "your tousled dark hair," she added, running her fingers through his dark mane and suddenly giving it a good ruffling.
"Hey," Nathan interjected, feigning vanity as he smoothed his hair back into place.
"But …" Elizabeth continued, leaning in, "if I had to choose between knowing Nathan the boy and Nathan the man, without a doubt I'd choose Nathan the man."
The intensity now blazing in Elizabeth's eyes was somewhat unfamiliar to Nathan, but during this extraordinary date, he'd already begun to understand its meaning.
Holding her piercing gaze, Nathan matched her heat. "Well, that's lucky for me," he whispered, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear, "because if you knew Nathan the boy, I wouldn't be able to do this …"
As Elizabeth felt Nathan's face draw closer, she closed her eyes, anticipating the electric moment when his warm lips met hers. Immediately, she sensed a heightened eagerness from Nathan in the way his lips pushed and pulled at hers, as if every line of his story, every heartfelt expression shared released a degree of his past restraint, opening himself up more fully, offering Elizabeth more access to what he'd previously guarded.
As their kisses intensified, Nathan ached for more touch. He ran his hand up Elizabeth's silky soft cheek, only to bump his funny bone against the back edge of the wooden bench. Trying to ignore the zing, he extended his other arm, only to discover the awkward distance brought on by sitting side by side in a rigid pew. Simultaneously, Elizabeth had shifted toward Nathan, longing to connect more of her body to his, abruptly hitting her knees into the row in front of them.
Quickly realizing the school-slash-church was not designed as a place for more intimate moments, they both resigned in unison and slowly drew their lips apart, trying to savor what minimal closeness they'd accomplished.
After exchanging knowing glances and individually rubbing at their possibly bruised knees and funny bone, they happily recommitted to conversation, albeit with a small degree of reluctance for what their hearts suggested otherwise.
Elizabeth was flabbergasted as to how such a dreadful story abt snakes could lead to such tender, yet charged kisses from Nathan. Since when were snakes romantic, she thought to herself, trying not to giggle. Clearly Nathan held the unusual superpower of transforming anything into a swoon worthy entity.
Recalling the strawberries, for example, Elizabeth knew she'd never look at them the same. Even worse, if per chance someone brought them to a town potluck, she'd be vastly disappointed to be eating them among her friends instead of by Nathan's hand.
Elizabeth pondered only a moment the irony of this evening. Her entire intention for this date had been to repair the past as best she could for Nathan, to help him feel confident in the love she'd always held for him in her heart. Thankfully, that part was going well. Yet, what she hadn't anticipated was how affected she would be tonight. And she was feeling absolutely smitten.
Nathan's voice broke into her thoughts, "What about you?"
Ah yes, conversation, Elizabeth remembered, and yet, she didn't. "What about me?" she asked, with a slight blush, having forgotten what brought on Nathan's inadvertently mischievous story.
"What were you like as a little girl?"
Elizabeth waited for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts. "My childhood was far more structured, I'm afraid," thinking of Nathan and Colleen plodding through the grasses and along the water banks. "But what I loved most was … well, I'm sure you can guess!" Elizabeth paused, giving Nathan a chance to come up with a response.
Though he admittedly was distracted by the twinkle in Elizabeth's sapphire eyes, it didn't take long for him to decide. "I'll bet you loved books," Nathan guessed.
Elizabeth beamed, grateful to feel known. "I did. I absolutely loved books. Once, I even started my own library and checked out our books to all the neighborhood children!"
"I suppose that's a little more acceptable than collecting snakes," Nathan joked.
"Well," Elizabeth confessed, "I actually hadn't thought to ask my father since it seemed like they were always so generous with their money, or at least it seemed so. My mom was always going to charity balls, though it wasn't until I was older," she explained, "that I learned charity balls were less about charity for the poor and more about an excuse for the wealthy to enjoy an extravagant event in the name of a 'good cause.'"
As Elizabeth continued on, Nathan got lost in how spirited Elizabeth was. She deeply cares, and he loved that about her. Nathan could easily imagine a young Elizabeth with her chestnut curls in pigtails, wearing an infectious smile, and gladly sharing what was hers. What he couldn't necessarily picture was her home or what style her dress might be. Because Elizabeth seemed so at home in Hope Valley, Nathan hadn't thought too much about how entirely different their upbringings had been, until now.
"Anyway …" Elizabeth said, focusing her thoughts, flustered at how this man could cause her, a teacher, to ramble.
"I decided to plan a grand opening for my library just like the balls I'd attended. Since I'd seen the beautifully handwritten invitations for years, I made my own. I left several at the park or at the train station as we passed by. I also asked our butler and housekeeper to pass some out to anyone who might be interested." With a laugh, she said, "You know, they never questioned it, thinking of course my parents knew! The cooking staff was even involved," she exclaimed, "because I requested they provide platters of goodies!"
Nathan couldn't help but register the butler, housekeeper, and cooking staff. He found it intriguing thinking back to what Elizabeth had said to him, "You feel like home to me." With more context of her family's wealth, Nathan was interested in what "home" had come to mean to her.
Typically whenever he was with Elizabeth, he shut off the usual thoughts streaming through his mind. But tonight they were swirling as he came face to face with just how remarkably different their childhoods were. Luckily, as a Mountie, he'd honed his skills of observation so that he could listen and think at the same time. He honestly respected Elizabeth all the more, for finding the path that felt right for her, now that he understood more clearly the wealth and life she left behind in Hamilton. Despite the incoming thoughts, Nathan figured he'd tuck away questions for later.
But this simple childhood story brought him to marvel even more. Here they were – a daughter of a high society business man and the son of a thief – just steps away from marriage. Fate? The "stars aligning?" All that seemed more possible now.
Nathan felt as captivated by Elizabeth's storytelling as the story itself and its implications. She filled every word with energy, and drew him in as if the scenes were unfolding right before them.
"In the week leading up to the 'grand opening,'" which Elizabeth said with a tempered Rosemary-like flair, "I organized all of our children's books by age and genre. Then, on the day of the big event, I sat all official like in my dad's ornate desk in our library, ready to write due dates on notecards and offer my personal recommendations for each genre."
Nathan reached for Elizabeth's hand, cherishing this glimpse into her budding passion for learning and for serving the broader community even as a child.
"The funniest part," Elizabeth continued with an enthusiastic grin, "is that my entire grand opening would've gone unnoticed by my parents if my father hadn't just happened to come home from work early that day. Imagine his surprise," she said with a few joyful giggles, "in finding fifty kids outside the estate, standing neatly organized all in one line." Nathan smiled warmly, picturing the scene, loving both the story and the story-teller. "That was Julie's doing," Elizabeth explained. "I gave both of my sisters specific duties."
"Of course you did," he chuckled remembering Elizabeth's rapid and thorough delegation at Clara's wedding. Completely charmed by the spunky young girl he could still see in Elizabeth, he imagined all the little projects she must have pulled her sisters into growing up.
"But these were obviously not the children in our social circles who showed up," Elizabeth noted. "The others had plenty of books of their own. Many of the boys and girls who came that day were dressed in ragged clothing, too big or too small. Some didn't even have shoes."
Nathan thought it an interesting idea that had Elizabeth come across him as a little boy, she would have also looked at him with those empathetic eyes, moved by the lowliness of his ratty clothes.
As Elizabeth recounted how the story played out, her eyes grew soft. Nathan could see that fiery little girl in her, so ready and wanting to care for those around her.
"So Father, always the gentleman, introduced himself to one of the children and asked what event was being held at his home. The little boy whipped out his invitation and politely thanked my father for hosting! Apparently, as I heard from Julie later, the next girl in line desperately wanted to be included in the conversation with the fine gentleman so she shared what book she hoped to check out from his library!"
"That took a lot of class to not send them away," Nathan responded, thinking of his own upbringing. Nathan had decided to share a lighthearted story from his early childhood, which was more fitting to the mood tonight. But during the years his father was first in jail and money was scarce, he certainly had been on the end of judgmental looks from men in her father's social position.
"That's just who he is," Elizabeth said tenderly. "He certainly wouldn't have been one to come out West like I did, but he looks out for those less fortunate in his own way." Elizabeth's eyes shifted out of focus for a moment, clearly drawn back to her family.
At the rustling of Nathan reaching for his second sandwich, Elizabeth's attention reverted back to her story.
"Needless to say my father was not pleased with the surprise of my library event. Yet I could tell as he discussed the matter with me later that his stern look was actually a mix of astonishment, frustration, and …" she added with a nostalgic smile, "admiration."
Nathan's heart both tightened and swelled in agreement, having personally felt all of those emotions tied to Elizabeth as well. But in all that they'd already shared so far tonight, he was simply wowed by what he saw as Elizabeth allowed him more deeply into all of who she is.
"And it wasn't all in vain," Elizabeth declared. "That whole event opened my father's eyes to really see the children who were less fortunate. From that point on, every summer we'd look through our books and play clothes to donate them to the local charity. No fanfare. No ball. No honors. Just simple anonymous service."
Nathan hadn't expected to get emotional. Elizabeth brought out the best in everyone, even her father, but he knew most especially in him. He focused on calming his rising emotions and quickly cleared his throat to speak, "And look at you now … a teacher and a librarian."
"I guess that's true," Elizabeth smiled with a new realization. "I actually hadn't ever made that connection. I haven't thought of that story in a long while," she said with a nostalgic sigh.
"After your neighborhood success, did you ever consider being a librarian," asked Nathan, " … instead of a teacher, I mean?"
Elizabeth answered with a drawn-out "No," surprised by Nathan's seeming ignorance. Taking on a voice with "airs," Elizabeth elaborated, "I was only ever raised to be an elegant, refined woman who would take her place in society once married, hosting lavish gatherings, charity events, and teas."
Jolted by her obvious answer, Nathan realized even more how rebellious her eventual decision to become a teacher and move West must have seemed to her family. "So what brought you to choose such a different path?"
"I have to admit, growing up, I loved the high society life – the parties, the dresses, navigating the unspoken but known nuances of the social game. But as my friend circle shifted to talking of suitors and household decor and selection of china, I was shocked to realize that there wasn't anything more." Elizabeth paused reflectively, drawn back to how startling that insight had been for her seventeen-year-old self.
"Despite being a very observant child, I somehow never recognized that all the frivolities of my childhood would just continue on as an adult. Certainly, my responsibilities would increase as a wife and mother," she explained, "but families like ours often employed nannies. So, a woman's primary role in my world was more about managing household and social affairs, a responsibility I started to realize wouldn't satisfy my sense of purpose.
Considering present company, Elizabeth said with a touch of shyness, "Of course I wanted those things in my life – a husband and children." Her heart clearly made its presence known as she spoke those words. "But in my upbringing, the center of a woman's life was not really her family, but rather maintaining her family's role in society. Even the idea was stifling to me."
Nathan could imagine how conflicted Elizabeth would've life she described didn't fit the Elizabeth he knew at all. Granted, she was personally connected with everyone in town, but not at all with the intent of assuring a specific social standing. He could sense how a teenage Elizabeth would've longed for deeper meaning. This was especially true in her closely held belief of being fully engaged in family life, as she is with Jack now, rather than merely fulfilling the expected role of a socialite.
Interestingly that word "role," reminded him of his earlier conversation with Bill, about Elizabeth playing a "role." With her present explanation of how committed she was to living a different life, he was especially baffled as to why she'd walked right into accepting a similar life with Lucas, literally playing a role. Maybe that was the only reason she eventually left Lucas, seeing how she'd be backstepping to that societal role in becoming the Governor's wife, a role she so intentionally chose against. As Elizabeth elaborated, Nathan could clearly see how continuing on with Lucas would've entirely diverted Elizabeth from what matters most to her.
"I wanted my life to have more purpose than directing household servants and holding charity balls," she said definitively, "and I also wanted my family to be the center of my life, not a sidelight."
Deciding to see what more he could glean about her unexpected choice to court Lucas, Nathan asked, "Do you ever feel pulled back toward that way of life?"
"I used to," Elizabeth admitted, "That was one of the main reasons why Jack and I courted so long."
Nathan's eyebrows raised in surprise.
"I wasn't entirely sure who I was yet and what I really wanted," she explained. Resting her free hand on their already clasped hands, her eyes met his, and she said with quiet confidence, "But now I do."
Following her implicit words, the instant tension of their chemistry filled the silence. Yet, having already discovered these benches to be nearly incompatible to any degree of intimacy, Elizabeth decided to take advantage of this time in the schoolhouse for these special conversations, which she was actually surprised they had not yet had.
"What about you?" Elizabeth asked. "I have my suspicions as to why you chose to be a Mountie," she said with a sympathetic gaze, "but I'd love to hear your story."
Nathan paused thoughtfully, considering how best to share the mixed emotions behind his choosing to be a Mountie. "I think it came down to the same reasons I liked science, actually," he started simply. "With how our lives turned as my dad got into trouble with the law, I came to appreciate what was concrete, reliable, and just."
Nathan could feel the impact of his rising blood pressure as his remarks became more personal. "Even when my dad lived with us, he wasn't predictable – home late, gone for a day or two, drunk at times." Nathan diverted his eyes from Elizabeth's, all too aware now of their polar childhoods. "Colleen dealt with the uncertainty of it all by pouring her thoughts and feelings into a journal. But all I wanted …"
Nathan subconsciously exhaled, trying to steady his pounding heart. He regularly avoided thinking about the turmoil of his childhood. But deep down, he felt drawn to share all of himself with Elizabeth as he felt she was doing for him. While Colleen filled journal after journal through the upheaval of his childhood, he survived the uncertainty by compartmentalizing his pain.
As a boy, and even into adulthood, he woke up each day, accepting of the long, demanding hallway that symbolized his life. Although he wasn't always sure where it led, all he knew is that he had to keep going. Along the way, he'd toss his hurt and trauma into empty rooms. Then, by the control of his own hand, he closed the doors to the hurt and moved on, with no intention of ever returning. What other choice did he have with a father in and out of jail and later on with a four-year-old niece to raise on his own?
Yet with even simple questions – "Why did you become a Mountie?" – it was like Elizabeth was asking him to return to those rooms, to walk inside, and to show her their painful contents, when he'd rather not even open the door. But the crux of it all was he knew he needed to in order to have the space to be fully hers.
Noticing Nathan's diversion in thought, Elizabeth broke the silence softly as she whispered, "What did you want, Nathan?"
As Nathan returned his gaze toward Elizabeth, her eyes were right there, ready to meet his. She was right there, listening to him. As if knowing the support he needed to continue, Elizabeth slipped her hand into his. Absent-mindedly, he began brushing both thumbs across different parts of Elizabeth's hand, deliberating over how much and what to share.
After releasing a heavy sigh, Nathan decided to dive in. This was a fight against his past and against buried emotions. But Elizabeth was worth fighting for, and he really did want to give her his best. Some of these rooms of memories, maybe even all, were going to need to be emptied.
Looking directly into her eyes, with a racing heart, he admitted, "I wanted to feel safe. I wanted our family to be safe." After stepping over that first hurdle of sharing, the rest came tumbling out. "As the only son, I knew that was my responsibility to shoulder. I needed to be stable and helpful and look after my mom and sister, even at times if that meant protecting them from my own father."
He took a side glance at Elizabeth, wondering if she remembered how he'd said some of those same words to her. Nathan felt his hand getting a little sweaty with the newness of sharing such personal details. Squeezing Elizabeth's hand first, he released his and busied it by holding the rest of his second sandwich, though he didn't intend to eat it quite yet.
Noting the heaviness in the schoolhouse and Elizabeth's empathetic eyes, he cursed himself for ruining this unbelievably special date she'd planned. Why did he keeping doing this? With Elizabeth's earlier question about what he was like as a little boy, he'd managed to keep it light rather than opening up one of those dreaded doors to his pain-filled rooms.
Elizabeth had maintained a warm, upbeat, meaningful tone to everything she'd shared. But then again, her earlier years were filled with love, wealth, and ease. His were mired with neglect, poverty, and shame.
He ran his free hand through his hair, trying to figure out how to aim the conversation back to one of laughter and light.
Suddenly, he felt Elizabeth's delicate hand at his cheek, gently turning his head until their blue eyes met. As if she knew his thoughts, she took both of his clammy hands assuringly in hers, and said with seasoned strength. "Nathan, I'm here for all of you. I love all of you, just as I know you love all of me."
At Elizabeth's genuine words and heartfelt affection, Nathan's heart melted, just as it did years ago as he watched her thoughtfully guide Allie in how best to make friends.
As the thoughts of Elizabeth's lofty childhood rushed across his mind, Nathan smiled gratefully, but said with all honesty, "I don't deserve you, 'Lizbeth."
"Well, then," Elizabeth asked, shifting one of her hands to cradle his face, "what does it mean if I feel the same way … that I don't deserve you?"
For the better part of a second, they stared into each other's eyes searching for any inauthenticity. Finding none, they both chuckled.
Elizabeth said simply, "I guess we can both feel blessed."
Nathan registered the warmth of the room, not in temperature, but in heart, noticing the heaviness had completely dissipated.
Sensing that Nathan still had more to tell, and that he hopefully felt more comfortable doing so now, she lightly pressed, "So is that what made you want to become a Mountie? Helping others feel safe?"
Nathan nodded, appreciating Elizabeth's ability to connect his messy emotions.
"I guess I also felt like by being a Mountie, I was making up for my dad's choices, reversing the shame that was unfairly placed on our entire family."
Elizabeth slowly processed his words, newly aware of just how challenging Nathan's life had always been.
Emboldened by Elizabeth's support, Nathan took this opportunity to tie his history to what he hoped would be his future. "But, by the time I arrived in Hope Valley, my priorities had shifted."
For every word that Nathan continued to share, Elizabeth felt all the more grateful for these uncomfortable, awkward wooden benches that had so helpfully promoted such meaningful conversation between the two of them.
"When I realized someone had died in my place," Nathan said with quiet reverence, "it shook me. Beyond knowing Jack had left behind a widow and a baby," which Nathan said with great tenderness, "I realized if it had been me, instead, Allie could've been left entirely alone."
A different kind of heartache gripped Elizabeth as she thought about the ten-year-old Allie – reserved, hesitant, closed off, and a bit defiant, but also bright, caring, funny, and thoughtful. For years she'd loved Allie as her own daughter, though out of necessity she'd painfully put some distance between her and Allie while engaged to Lucas. Elizabeth knew even then how loving Allie was so interwoven with loving Nathan.
The thought of what Allie's life could have been and all that she would have missed without Nathan struck Elizabeth to her core, especially in understanding more about Dylan.
With new perspective, Elizabeth listened intently to Nathan's next words, "I knew I wanted to take responsibility for my part in Jack's death, but I also wanted to use this … well, almost this second chance, it seemed … to make sure I was raising Allie in a way that would honor Colleen's hopes for her only daughter."
Elizabeth marveled at this man, so indescribably touched by how he was opening up to her. Not wanting to interrupt his flow, she remained silent, but affectionately squeezed his hands in support.
"Like you were saying before with family," Nathan said, brushing his thumbs across her fingers, "I wanted Allie to feel central to my life rather than an afterthought or even a burden like I sometimes felt to my parents."
Elizabeth smiled, fully aware her eyes must be a puddle of emotions.
"Nathan, first," she said, placing a single kiss on his lips, "I will always tell you from the bottom of my heart that you are in no way responsible for Jack's death."
Nathan responded with a grateful smile, fully aware she believed that, but still appreciative of the reassurance.
"Second," she said, offering another brief but loving kiss, "I'm truly so thankful Allie has you."
With all that statement signified, Elizabeth's words, and kisses, he admitted, were everything. In all of his life, Nathan had never been open with anyone like he was just now other than occasionally with Colleen. But in the past two days, Nathan felt reassured, by both Elizabeth and Bill, that there were loved ones in his life who would not only stand by him through anything but also allow him to talk through anything, too. And he was starting to feel how opening up actually brought him all the closer to Elizabeth and all the more toward feeling whole.
"And third," Elizabeth said, unable to suppress a little giggle as she warmly kissed his lips once more. Although, with this third and last kiss, Elizabeth withdrew slowly, pulling his lips with hers until they separated. Then, she waited until Nathan's ocean-blue eyes found hers. "I love that you're a family man," she whispered tenderly. "In fact, it might just be my favorite thing about you."
With their faces still closely drawn together after their lingering kiss, Nathan reassuringly felt from Elizabeth both the warmth of her breath and the warmth of her words. Now, after a night of conversations overflowing with loving support, it was Nathan's eyes that conveyed a puddle of emotions.
Sporting a newly liberated grin, Nathan teased in a whisper, his lips just inches from hers. "Are you going to make all your points with kisses?"
"Am I more convincing that way?" Elizabeth asked with a flirtatious smile.
"Always," Nathan answered simply but with intentionally layered meaning.
Elizabeth gazed at Nathan in wonder. Here we are, she thought, marveling at all the twists and turns of fate. A daughter of wealth. A son of undeserved poverty. Yet, somehow so perfectly aligned in purpose, family, and service. "Always" – Elizabeth both smiled and cringed at the memory – Nathan's one-word response as he rode off to find the man she almost married. Life holds its mysteries, for sure, she thought, knowing her story presented an abundance.
Her thoughts turned to Jack, how indirectly and ironically, he brought both Rosemary and Nathan into her life. Yet, even Jack was an unexpected twist of fate, considering Hope Valley was a reassignment, and an unhappy one for him, initially, at least, she thought, with a smile.
"It's written in the stars," Rosemary had said about Elizabeth and Nathan. For a while, Elizabeth hadn't been sure, as they navigated their own twists and turns. But, as Elizabeth brushed aside a few fallen strands of hair from Nathan's forehead, she knew now that she'd never been so sure of anything. She'd finally found her home.
Considering the topic of their conversations tonight, Elizabeth thought it remarkable how their professions played into their own story. "Being a teacher brought me to Hope Valley, and being a Mountie brought you to Hope Valley" she added poignantly, then thinking to herself, but I believe we might have Allie to thank for bringing us together. This was about more than just the two of them.
Carefully avoiding another zing to his funny bone, Nathan lifted his hand to Elizabeth's cheek, savoring the different sensations of his touch - his thumb brushing her soft skin and his fingers entwined in her hair. "We're both where life suits us best," he replied. But for some extra reassurance, he asked, "Is that still true for you?"
Leaning into Nathan's hand, Elizabeth smiled warmly. "With you in my life?" she asked, her voice suddenly catching. "Now more than ever," she answered with absolute confidence.
Elizabeth melted over how Nathan beamed at her response. For all too many years, she saw this man only as the stoic Mountie, steadfast, reliable, safe, not even considering that the man under the serge might actually need her. The thought sent a shiver through her entire being, though it settled and swelled in her heart. This love exploding between them transcended anything she'd ever imagined possible, as if it truly were written in the stars, destined to bring them both glimpses of the joy only known in heaven.
Elizabeth knew she could move on to sharing her journal entry, but considering the wooden benches were keeping their focus on conversation, she thought she'd allow a little more time to see where their words might drift.
Nathan processed Elizabeth's response – "With you in my life? Now more than ever" – not only her words but also the emotion that traveled straight from her expressive eyes to his healing heart. He was entirely overcome and felt increasingly stifled in sharing with her what had quickly become an immeasurable love. Even with all the love in his eyes, the words "I love you" didn't feel encompassing enough. He felt a new longing to express his appreciation to Elizabeth for loving him so fully. Even trying to think of the words to articulate his emotions was proving impossible.
Sitting on these impersonal wooden benches that had already proven restrictive, he was drawn to the role of affection and how entirely he felt his heart connected to hers in every moment of physical intimacy, from their forearms at sunset, to the few moments of passion they'd shared. He'd gradually come to realize how challenging it will be to withhold that affection, which brought him back to the question of how they'd navigate even the simple connections in family moments.
"Lizbeth?"
"Hmmmm?"
As she'd been quiet some moments, too, he now wondered what she'd been thinking, but decided to move forward with this topic of growing importance to him.
"What are your thoughts about being affectionate around the kids?"
Surprised, having not anticipated this topic, she took a moment to gather her thoughts.
"Well, if I'm honest with myself, it's become so natural to love you like this …" squeezing his hand, a bit of the blaze returning to her eyes, "that I'm sure I'd slip up in the first hour of family time by accidentally holding your hand, anyway."
Nathan immediately felt relieved, sensing that her decision would be in line with his.
Elizabeth continued, "I, of course, want to hear your thoughts, but I think as long as we talk with the kids beforehand, I'd love for them to see more tangibly what we feel for each other."
Somehow, that word hit Nathan … tangibly. That was the power of intimacy, he thought. Words make your heart rush or your head spin, but physical touch tangibly connects one body to another. That's why he felt their affection was becoming so increasingly important to him. It was the only way he felt like he could tangibly show Elizabeth all that he felt for her – his admiration, his gratitude, and his all-encompassing love. He could already sense Elizabeth using her affection, as well, to truly express the depth and permanence of her love for him. And he loved her for it. He sure hoped for a more accessible seating arrangement at their last stop!
Nathan wasn't sure how Allie and Little Jack would respond to his holding hands with Elizabeth or giving her a quick kiss. But, he imagined that, as much as Allie would want to look away, she'd soak it all in. Her and her juicy strawberries, Nathan thought, barely able to keep his eyes from rolling. And Little Jack? Maybe he'll just think it's another boring thing he and Elizabeth do!
As a follow up, Nathan asked, "Do you mean talk with the kids both together, or individually — you with Jack and me with Allie?"
Elizabeth looked pensive, thinking through each scenario. "With their different ages, I think it makes the most sense for individual conversations. What do you think?"
Remembering the depth of his conversation with Allie while washing Scout, Nathan realized he agreed.
"If I talk just with Allie, and you with Little Jack, I think it will give them a chance to ask any questions, too."
"I like that," Elizabeth smiled, her heart fluttering with how truly real their new life together was becoming.
"So tomorrow I'll talk with Allie and you talk with Jack, though considering the topic I think I'd prefer a six year old boy to a fifteen year old girl" he said with a bit of a blush.
At Elizabeth's sympathetic look, Nathan elaborated, "It's just quite different with a teenage daughter," recalling his alarm at the strawberry conversation with Allie. "Do you know the strawberries were actually Allie's idea?"
"Allie's?!"
"I know! She said she read it in a book once," playfully giving Elizabeth an accusatory look. "Then she described in a little too much detail why they're such a romantic fruit. She even said the word 'juicy!' I about died, Elizabeth. Died." This single dad sighed, "I'm so grateful she'll have you around growing up."
The minute he said those words out loud, he realized the assumption they might imply, which honestly was exactly how he'd meant them. Elizabeth could be there as a mother for Allie in ways he couldn't just as he could be there for Little Jack in ways Elizabeth couldn't. Already that'd been proven … the way Allie opened up to Elizabeth about Dylan and the special bond he'd been able to develop with Jack through riding lessons.
Nathan smiled a little sheepishly, though, uncertain if Elizabeth understood his words as he'd unintentionally implied.
Although it was an uncomfortable stretch, navigating around the back of the bench, Elizabeth responded by lifting her left arm well above the painful edge. Applying just enough pressure to feel the contours of Nathan's back, she glided her arm across his shoulder blades until her hand rested near his opposite shoulder. Then, she lovingly placed her other hand just above his knee and gave him a light squeeze.
With Elizabeth's intentional gesture, Nathan fully understood the layering of her heartfelt message, "And I'm so grateful Jack will have you."
Silently, but cleanly, cursing the constraint of these impersonal benches, Elizabeth drew her arm back across Nathan's shoulders and said, "Why don't you work on your sandwich before that stomach starts growling again, and I'll go get my journal."
Scooting out from the bench, Elizabeth added, "Then we can head on. These benches are the worst!" And in both of their minds passed the thought, "for more reasons than one!"
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Author's Notes:
This segment was one of the hardest to write! But, I hope, human inadequacy aside, that you at least enjoyed some of the content of Nathan and Elizabeth's conversations. I'd love to hear your thoughts or comments. Thank you for reading! Part 3 will be coming soon! I'd like to offer a shout out to goodnewsgreatjoy for the adorable idea of "Little Nate." I'd really love to see flashbacks on screen! Another sidenote: I love the way Nathan and Elizabeth banter. So, for a reminder of all their onscreen fun and flirty moments, watch mountieandteacher's post from 9/24.