Nathan and Elizabeth are in the last couple hours of their first unchaperoned date, making exceptional use of their alone time. Elizabeth shares a more recent journal entry, highlighting how Nathan made one of her worst weeks ironically one of her best. They continue to resolve questions of the past, as expected, most specifically about Lucas, and will express all that needs to be said to close that chapter in the final segment of this stop, Part 3.
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The 1st UNchaperoned Date
Chapter 8: Their Home - Part 2
After an evening of uncomfortable seating, Nathan felt a new appreciation for the soft cushions and gentle slope of Elizabeth's couch. Still, he wouldn't change one second of their priceless evening together. Intentionally planting himself against the sturdy tree for their picnic had invited Elizabeth to snuggle in and comfortably recline against him.
Then, the rigid wooden benches at the schoolhouse created the perfect opportunity for deep conversations since they were fairly prohibitive to any degree of intimacy, not that he'd expect anything different from a school that also serves as their town's church.
Here, at Elizabeth's, the counter was an unexpected perch, he thought with an enchanted smile, remembering how frosting by candlelight led to his most memorable dessert ever – one that was truly unmatched.
Nathan didn't think either of them had expected so much intensity in their first unchaperoned date - both in conversation and in closeness. Really, just the idea of avoiding interruptions had been so delightsome neither had thought beyond as to what that might mean for hours at a time.
With how this one evening had gone, Nathan realized, with some frustration, they likely could've been married by now had not every member of the town, including their own children, interrupted them at some point over the last couple of months. As they relayed in their letters to one another earlier, this time alone was precious.
In these few quiet moments to himself, Nathan was already planning their next date. He couldn't help but wonder, though, how many they'd actually survive before becoming engaged and then married. It's highly possible more of their time alone may need to be chaperoned.
Hearing Elizabeth's footsteps, Nathan turned, shifting in place on the couch, "Where would you like to sit?" he asked, starting to get up.
"Wherever you are," she answered sweetly as she placed a soft hand to his chest, pushing lightly to suggest he sit back down. With her journal in hand, she settled right beside him, leaning in a bit as she folded her legs to the other side.
Nathan marveled at the change in his entire being from what he felt in solitude a few moments ago to all that was filling him in this moment, with Elizabeth's warmth nestled against him. Could a heart ache with happiness? Nathan certainly thought so.
At that moment, a sudden realization settled. He'd become so intertwined with Elizabeth he knew he'd never be the same. Somehow without any particular fanfare or ceremony, it felt like they'd become one heart in two bodies. He wondered if Elizabeth felt the same.
"Ah, here it is," she said, pressing down on her journal pages to help the book stay open. I chose this entry because it's where I first felt like my home wasn't here," she said with emphasis as her hand gestured to the living room, "but here," she added with a wobbly voice, bringing her hand to Nathan's heart.
"Oh dear," Elizabeth mumbled. "I'm not sure I'm going to get through this one." She brought up her fingers to catch a few escaping tears. "I'm usually not this emotional," she said as if apologizing. "It's just been such a beautiful day, and …" Elizabeth's eyes locked with Nathan's, " … and, I feel so grateful."
Nathan rested a hand over Elizabeth's on her journal, "I know exactly what you mean," he answered tenderly. "Do you want me to read it out loud?"
At Elizabeth's quick nod, Nathan began reading.
With Nathan in my life my worst days have also become my best days. While it was difficult to have him away for four months investigating the shooting, it allowed me time to process the end of my relationship with Lucas and open my heart to new possibilities. Well, my hope was in one specific possibility.
Nathan couldn't help piping in. With a teasing smile, he asked, "That's me, I hope?"
Elizabeth laughed, kissed him lovingly on the cheek, and stated the obvious, "The one and only."
As Nathan glanced back down at her journal, lost to where he left off, he asked her, "Where was I?"
She playfully swatted at his chest with the back of her hand for his distracting comment. Quickly scanning her finger along her written words, she found the spot where Nathan had felt the need to interject.
"Ah, here," she said, pointing to the beginning of the next sentence. Taking note, Nathan continued reading aloud Elizabeth's words:
Years ago, when Nathan asked me "What's in your heart," I felt as if he saw right through me. Although I never would've thought I'd fall in love with another Mountie, that was where my heart was headed. As much heartache as was in my life at that time, still recovering from Jack's death, I felt an unmistakable peace with Nathan. After tonight, I understand how that feeling blossomed to where we are now. He feels like home to me.
This truly was incredible, Nathan thought. He loved what Elizabeth had done with this night. What she'd chosen to share so far resolved nearly all of his uncertainties involving the past. He'd rehashed their history so many times in his head over the last handful of years, trying to understand why it all went so wrong. To hear things put so simply and yet so fully by Elizabeth helped validate their love he'd felt all along.
"I can read now," Elizabeth said. "Thank you, Nathan," she added, shifting her knees onto his legs for a cozy closeness. Nathan passed her the journal and she began to read:
My week began with so much hope, taking what I imagine will be our first steps to our forever. Then, with Higgins, my entire world shattered. I felt so hopeless and trapped. I didn't want to burden Nathan, but somehow he always knows when I need him, and he came to me.
I haven't ever shared with my father my past history with Higgins. But, I know he'd be proud of me for how I stood up to that repulsive man. To a greater degree, I think he'd feel indebted to Nathan, without even having met our new constable. Although Nathan wanted to barge in and literally throw Higgins in jail, he showed me he had faith in my own inner strength. I know my father would feel forever grateful that Nathan never left me alone, as a Mountie or as a man.
I'm grateful to Lucas, too, who believed my story and shut down Higgins' attempts to use his "connections." Both men were instrumental in helping me feel heard and in ending that awful man's predatory ways.
I'm up late writing, now in a place of hope again, having gone from worst to best throughout this entire week. I was sitting out on the porch tonight when Nathan walked up and asked if I wanted company. As always, my heart picked up pace, though I think he's entirely oblivious to how attractive he is.
Elizabeth paused, unable to resist an interjection … "Do you see what I mean?" she asked, teasing him with her twinkling eyes and flirtatious smile. "Distractingly good looking in serge or suspenders!" She lightly tugged at his suspenders for effect.
"I'm glad you think so," Nathan chuckled, shifting his weight to allow her to lean back against him.
As Elizabeth relaxed fully into his chest, she thought this just might be one of her favorite ways to be close to Nathan - supported by his solid strength, their breaths falling into a comfortable rhythm together. They felt home. She paused to simply exist in this moment.
"'Lizbeth," Nathan said quietly, sensing the break in her reading. "I need you to know you will never be a burden to me." Lovingly, he wrapped his arms around Elizabeth and held her close. "I always want to be there for you, whatever it is." Then squeezing her in a little tighter, he said humbly, "Even if it means standing behind a closed door and admiring your courage."
Elizabeth smiled at Nathan's sweet comment, touched again by the empowering way he supported her during that awful week. Laying her hands across his forearms resting beneath her chest, she affectionately brushed her thumbs over his bare skin. "Well, I'm far braver because of you," Elizabeth said, passing some of the credit back to Nathan. "But, I did mean what I said that night on the porch, that I should've told you sooner."
"Lizabeth, I–"
"No, I know," she said, remembering how he'd reassured her there was no need to apologize. "I just mean that I hope we'll share more with each other now, and try to shoulder less on our own."
As if on cue, Nathan lowered his head to rest against Elizabeth's. "That might take some practice for me," he admitted, "seeing as the only shoulders in my life have been my own."
"I'll watch for that furrowed brow, then," Elizabeth offered, turning her head up toward Nathan to check for the implicating lines.
He smiled, touched by how thoroughly she knew him, and pressed a tender kiss into her chestnut curls. "I'll try, though," Nathan promised.
As he engaged his abdominal muscles to lean back further, pulling Elizabeth along with him, he joked, "It's important for us to lean on each other more, right?"
Elizabeth nestled against him and giggled. "I like leaning."
As their new angles took shape, her journal abruptly slid from her lap to the floor.
Elizabeth glanced down, momentarily distracted by the journal's thud. "Well," she declared with a playful smile spreading across her face. "That's one way to make a point!"
After retrieving her journal, Elizabeth settled in again to their previous position. "I guess we'll get back to reading, then. There's just a few paragraphs left."
She flipped through the pages and found the right entry. As her eyes caught a few words on the page, she remembered the weight of the topic. There was no better place to read this section than nestled in Nathan's arms as she was now. Perfectly protected, she began to read:
It's ironic how this week in one man's presence I felt trapped and threatened and wanted only to recoil and tonight in Nathan's I felt safe and seen and wanted only to be close. I couldn't feel more grateful for how Nathan supported me as a Mountie this week. But it filled my heart tonight to feel him support me as someone he loves. At least, I hope he still loves me.
Elizabeth's voice caught, and she was unable to continue. Only with Nathan could she so quickly jump between giggles and tears. She set the journal on her lap and leaned fully back against Nathan, resting her head against his chest.
As she took a deep breath to settle her emotions, he nuzzled his head into hers and whispered, trying to assure her, "I meant what I said the other night, 'Lizabeth. I never stopped loving you."
Nathan felt her head nodding, though she said nothing. Sensing she was trying to find her voice, he waited.
"Sometimes that makes it worse," she blurted out, laughing a little between sniffs. "You've been impeccably steady while I've been profoundly messy." Elizabeth tried to blink back the tears. "I'm just so sorry for hurting you … and I'm devastated about the time we lost."
Nathan rested his hands over the back of hers and interlaced his fingers, wrapping her up as thoroughly as possible. As he remembered his walks to the log, Nathan replied "You have such a giving heart Elizabeth. It's one of the things I first loved about you. Regardless of how the last few years played out, I've always felt comforted in knowing you cared about me."
"Really?"
"Yes, of course. You were there for me through the inquisition and through my accident. I think, considering the circumstances, it meant all the more to me that you still stood by me as a friend."
Since Elizabeth was resting back against him, Nathan wasn't able to see the relief settling in her teary eyes as she took in his words.
"With where we are now," he continued, "I've started to see those years a little differently. Instead of time lost, think about the time we gained."
Grateful for the insight he'd received while thinking earlier about his evening walks to the log, Nathan started to explain.
"It was a time where the only appropriate way for us to interact was through friendship. You may not have noticed because you were with Lucas, but don't you think we grew closer as friends during that time?"
Elizabeth thought for a moment, feeling a sense of peace crowding out the regret of those years. Sometimes it was difficult to remember all the meaning that came from those few years.
Still, a knowing smile spread across her face as she said, "Oh, I definitely noticed, Nathan Grant." He felt a little laugh rumble through her chest to his. "That was a part of the problem."
Surprised by her sudden change in temperament, Nathan wasn't sure he understood. "Why was that a problem?"
"Do you remember that sunny day at the park last fall? You'd brought cookies, one of which you had in your mouth. You were playing with the kids and Scout and I was meeting Rosemary."
"Yes," still unsure of where this was going.
"Something started to click that day for me. Rosemary was prattling on about my wedding plans and my sole attention was you! I couldn't pull my eyes away. You were bulging out of your Henley, I remember, which didn't help."
Despite working through their earlier conversation in the forest, Elizabeth's cheeks still turned a rosy pink. She was grateful in the moment to not be facing Nathan. "I suddenly understood the irony that I'd lose my best friend when I married Lucas. I realized how obviously inappropriate it would be once married for me to sit on the porch and talk, or drink apple juice just the two of us, or spend time together as our children played. And I certainly couldn't make you banana bread!"
Nathan chuckled, and silently applauded Bill for his exceptional instincts, seeing as banana bread was among his presented points of evidence yesterday in the Mountie office.
Elizabeth continued, a realization settling in, "So I can see what you mean about time gained. We continued to grow closer even while apart."
"Exactly," Nathan answered. "I mean on this first date alone we're already so at home with each other our night has been a mix of frosting moments and deep conversation."
Elizabeth sighed. Nathan was right. There was an ease between them that had grown possible through that time as friends. Those years were clearly not wasted.
"I might enjoy a little more frosting," Elizabeth teased. Before Nathan could respond, she added, "But first, I want you to hear the rest of my journal entry. I'm almost done" She picked up the journal and started reading,
It's humbling to feel so lovingly cared for by a man I hurt so deeply. I'm not sure I can ever apologize enough for that messy time. I know I don't deserve Nathan, but for weeks I've been thanking God for giving me yet another chance. And I told Him in prayer, I would not take it for granted.
Nathan supported me in every way possible this week. Tonight, he even told me he was proud of me. Considering how my past actions have impacted him, that meant more to me than he could possibly know. After all that we shared this week, I needed him close. I remember distinctly thinking in that moment, sometimes words just aren't enough to show how much, 'You matter to me.' So, I leaned in and rested my head on Nathan's shoulder, hoping he could feel the humility, gratitude, and love I was wanting to express.
Nathan cleared his throat, trying to temper down the emotion he felt. "You write beautifully, 'Lizbeth. And you love beautifully, too, in all your ways."
As she closed the journal and set it on her lap, he softly took her hands in his. "That was a special night for me, too."
Nathan's heart started pounding in both his chest and his ears, and he hoped being this open would get easier. As much as he'd come to trust Elizabeth, it was still difficult feeling so exposed. "It felt like the first night of many more to come, being at home together."
Still leaning back against Nathan's chest, Elizabeth turned her head up toward Nathan, reaching a hand to rest on the stubble of his cheek. At the tender gesture of affirmation, Nathan felt his heartbeat lighten and bent down to place a delicate kiss on her lips.
Elizabeth shifted on the couch to Nathan's side, wanting again to see his eyes. "It was a perfect night," she said, "from worst to best, because of you." She couldn't help but re-enact her little shoulder bump, eliciting a knowing smile from Nathan.
"Earlier, when we were out talking on the porch and the moon was overhead," he started, "it reminded me of that moment."
"I thought the same," she almost whispered.
Without enough touch at Nathan's side, she scooted forward and folded her knees across Nathan's lap. Elizabeth lifted her hand and slowly traced a path with her fingers through his dark mane. Holding his gaze, she said quietly, reflecting on this very moment, "Many more nights at home to come, just as you said."
Nathan was awestruck with how at home he felt.
Speaking of home, Elizabeth's thoughts turned back to their conversation about Lucas, knowing more still needed to be said. "You know, Lucas and I couldn't even agree on a home."
"Really?" Nathan asked, intrigued.
"He wanted to build me a palace," Elizabeth said, adding a bit of flare to the word "palace."
"That sounds like Lucas," chuckled Nathan.
"It does, doesn't it?" Elizabeth laughed, and sighed, with a smile lingering on her face.
She dearly cared for Lucas. He treated her like a queen, regularly expressing his love with heartfelt extravagance. As delightful as Christmas festivals are, though, Elizabeth mostly lived for a life of simplicity - an entire afternoon in the snowy forest looking for the perfect tree, an evening at home decorating with homemade ornaments. All the surprises she needed were as basic as strawberries and cupcakes.
But she wished all the best for Lucas. His love for the extraordinary was endearingly childlike, and with how sweetly he fulfilled his role as Little Jack's "Buddy," Elizabeth knew there was a lucky lady out there, ready to be swept off her feet by a pair of twinkling brown eyes and a radiant smile.
She sighed, a sense of peace filling her heart as to how things settled between her and Lucas. "He's a good man in the way he handled my decision, especially as poorly timed as it was." With sympathetic eyes, she added, "I left him at the time he needed me most, which was one of the hardest things I've done. But to his credit, he was never spiteful."
"I'm sure he knew your heart, 'Lizabeth. The whole town knows how deeply you care for each person in your life, always wanting to give them your best.'"
"Thank you, Nathan. I hope you're right." With a grateful realization, she continued, "I think we'll be able to remain friends, too."
Instantly recognizing the potential for an unintended implication, she laughed softly and rested a reassuring hand on Nathan's arm, "But not like 'we' were friends, Nathan. I don't anticipate any porch talks or apple juice conversations with Lucas."
Nathan responded with a lighthearted laugh, "Well, I'll admit I'm glad to hear that!" Then, with a sense of awe, he said, "Our friendship was special, wasn't it, even during that unusual time."
"It really was," Elizabeth said, her heart entirely warmed by that truth. With their apple juice conversation in mind, she started to explain, "Even before Lucas was running for Governor, I was having some doubts. I know it seems odd, but we never really talked the way you and I do. So, only after we were engaged and making bigger life plans did we start to recognize the significant ways we didn't align - like even where we'd live in Hope Valley. And that was before Capital City became a possibility!"
As Elizabeth's dialogue turned toward her engagement, Nathan felt his heart thudding in his chest, a mix of anticipation and apprehension coursing through him. Although he preferred the safer territory of his and Elizabeth's relationship or even the risker territory of Elizabeth running her hand through his hair, he knew he needed this conversation. He was ready to get answers, and finally move on.
"As you know, we all live here," Elizabeth said, gesturing around the home, "and Lucas lives here," she added, reaching her hand high above her head.
Nathan nodded in agreement as Elizabeth continued, "Lucas loves hot air balloons and Christmas festivals and … palaces. I have to admit, it was enticing at the beginning … a distraction from the heaviness of what my life had become in losing Jack" she confessed. "Over time, though, it became clear that Lucas would always want more, but not the same kind of more I'd want. I want more love, more connection, more simplicity, more home." Elizabeth placed her hand on Nathan's heart. He then wrapped his hand around hers and held it to his chest.
Elizabeth was feeling completely drowned now in Nathan's gentle blue eyes. Had he always looked at her this way? Scrambling to stay focused and finish her thought, she continued, "Lucas's dreams were bigger than me, and when I could see more clearly I knew my dream was you."
If any muscle needed some sleep tonight, Nathan thought, it would be his heart. Through their challenging but needful conversations that night, his heart had been squeezed, twisted, dropped, gripped, pounded, and clenched. But, in this moment, for Elizabeth to say her dream was him? Well, his heart fluttered. It swelled. It danced. It soared. And it was aching to be entirely hers. Knowing this conversation was his final barrier, he focused his attention for now on their words.
Taking Elizabeth's hand in his and kissing it softly, Nathan said, with admiration glowing in his eyes, "It took a lot of courage to do what you did, to step away when you felt so much pressure to do otherwise. I mean, the wedding invitations had already been sent, right?"
Then, with a mischievous smile, he just had to add, "But I happen to think you made the best choice." Elizabeth melted as Nathan's characteristic head tilt delivered his obvious opinion.
"Oh, you do, do you?" Elizabeth asked coyly, feeling immediately drawn to leave this conversation behind and engage in kisses instead.
"I do," Nathan easily answered. Somehow between the word he'd just voiced alongside "invitation" and the word that had just passed through her head, both Nathan and Elizabeth nearly gasped at Nathan's layered "I do."
Leaving their thoughts unspoken, their hearts raced in unison as they exchanged knowing smiles, locked eyes, and searched each other's expressions, lingering between gazes and lips.
Nathan cleared his throat, trying to keep this critical conversation on track just a moment longer so they could fill the rest of the night with the love they were both longing to express. "You said earlier something about 'when you could see more clearly …' What changed that for you?"
Elizabeth's eyes drifted upward in an attempt to gather her thoughts across years of experiences. After a pause to reflect, she said, "A few things, I suppose. Are you ready for a long answer?"
"Of course," Nathan responded truthfully. "Afterall, I was the one to ask what's in your heart." He gave her hand a supportive squeeze. "I want to know it all."
"All right," Elizabeth answered with a bit of hesitation. "I'll do my best!"
"For one," she started, "the moment you said, 'Be safe' back to me … at the schoolhouse."
Nathan's lips curved into a relieved half smile. His aching heart in that moment hadn't allowed any filter to his words. After holding back for two years, he couldn't let Elizabeth go without letting her know he still loved her and wished with every ounce of his existence that they'd found a way to be together.
"Those two words …" Elizabeth said, sighing into their significance. "You gave me the jolt I needed to see the life with you I'd once believed was impossible. I heard what I felt might be an 'I love you' at a time when my heart was finally ready to hear it. And engaged or not, what struck me the most is how much I wanted to say it back." She looked at Nathan in wonder, remembering how life-changing that moment had been.
"You can be sure it was an 'I love you,'" Nathan told her openly. "At the thought of you leaving, I just couldn't hold it back ..." to which, he then added, "your being engaged or not."
"I'm so grateful you didn't." Elizabeth whispered.
"That night, I was a mess," she went on. "Rosemary came over. I was in tears. My life was so muddled. But what became crystal clear was that I still loved you. It was honestly both surprising and oddly familiar," Elizabeth admitted, with an apologetic smile.
"When I chose a relationship with Lucas, I left a future between the two of us behind, and I really thought that was for the best, all things considered. But as my life with him became more complicated and less seemed to naturally align, I kept catching these glimpses when I was with you into the love we shared during that first year especially. Only after a handful of those experiences did I realize I'd never stopped loving you! It was just hidden beneath the surface of our friendship."
"So … surprising and familiar at the same time," Nathan summarized.
"Yes," she said, smiling with wonder. "I still wasn't sure what that meant for us, but I felt hope that if I'd been engaged while still loving you, that maybe your feelings might hopefully be tied up in our friendship as well."
"You know how the saying goes," Nathan said thoughtfully, "'Love is a maze where the heart often loses its way.'"
"You and your quotes, Nathan Grant!" remembering the one he shared over a year ago, staring right into her eyes, while Lucas awkwardly stood by. "I don't know that our love 'lost' its way, per se …" she said, a little defeated at the thought.
"No," Nathan answered, swooping in to save the sentiment. "... more like 'redirected.'"
"Yes, redirected," Elizabeth said, smiling with satisfaction "… until the stars aligned." She sighed with gratitude, always so humbled by their story.
Intrigued about Nathan's earlier quote, she couldn't help bringing it up. "You rattled off another deep quote about love, I remember, right in front of Lucas," she said, poking Nathan several times with her pointer finger against his chest.
"What?" Nathan asked, feigning innocence.
"I think you knew exactly what you were doing, Nathan," Elizabeth said, lightly but lovingly scolding him.
Without even a reference, Nathan did recall the conversation. "Maybe," he said with a slight smile and a non-committal confession.
"And what does 'Maybe' mean?" Elizabeth threw back with a teasing tone.
"Well," Nathan said, more seriously. "I didn't think Lucas seemed like the best choice for you."
"Because he wasn't you?" she asked, still being playful.
"No," Nathan said, first matching her cheeky banter.
Then, in a more serious manner, he explained, "It was more than that. The quote I shared was about love not being forced, but only freely given. Your marrying Lucas … and vice versa for him as well, if I'm honest … seemed more about settling down into something stable, hoping it would ground you rather than being about the love you actually felt for each other."
At Elizabeth's apparently stunned silence, Nathan tried to backpedal, realizing he'd likely overstepped so openly sharing his opinion. "Now I know I'm on shaky ground, and I am, of course, biased, but that's what I saw."
With sincerity in his eyes, he then added, "More than anything, I just wanted you to be happy. So, I hadn't meant those words as a jab, I promise. They were more of a well-intended nudge."
Recognizing Nathan's apologetic tone, Elizabeth reassured him first with her own little nudge of appreciation as if to say, "I know." But why she hadn't readily responded was only because she was thinking. What he said had real merit, especially relating that idea to the range of couples in their town.
"No, you're right Nathan …" At the look of his obvious relief, she teased, "And don't let that go to your head, by the way …"
Nathan offered a small two-fingered salute, "Noted," he said obediently, and smiled.
Elizabeth processed as she spoke. "Some might marry, as you say, more for the marriage. They're looking for that stability and companionship."
"Right," Nathan said. "So they're accepting of someone who comes along who wants the same - someone who is caring and shares common interests and values. I see that as …" He thought for a moment about the couples in the town, "... Ned and Florence," he offered.
"Oh," Elizabeth smiled, wearing one of her many adorable expressions. "They're so sweet together."
Then quickly, not really sure what Nathan was inferring about Ned and Florence, she felt compelled to say, "It's not like there's anything wrong with that kind of approach, though."
"No, of course not," Nathan answered. "In fact, I think more people than not marry in that mind frame. It's just that Florence and Ned have known each other a long time. So, I'm guessing it was that search for companionship that led them to each other rather than … say, an unexpressed passion hidden under the surface of their friendship." Nathan tried unsuccessfully to hide his smile at the thought.
"Fair point," Elizabeth giggled, not really wanting to go any deeper about Ned and Florence.
"But for some …" Nathan suggested, hoping Elizabeth was following his point as to what he didn't see between her and Lucas, "they may only ever get married if they fall in love with someone they can't live without." His heart instantly raced, filled with one hundred percent surety that he was describing his own reality.
Elizabeth nodded her head, voicing what she knew Nathan sensed, "I see the difference, certainly," though she couldn't help but point out the obvious. "It's just that not everyone gets the opportunity to have a great love, Nathan."
Trying to make sure he understood her headspace at the time, she continued. "So, I especially never expected that twice in one lifetime." That was part of Elizabeth's confusion in trusting her initial feelings for Nathan. Two great loves? Two Mounties? It seemed too unlikely.
"What I understand now, though, looking back," she said with reflection, "is that I wasn't ready for anything when both you and Lucas started showing interest. I was still finding my way after Jack died."
Nathan desperately wanted to mention how he'd seen the same and had been trying in compassion to give her time, while Lucas instead plowed forward with extravagant gestures like their Union City excursion. But he knew that would only get them sidetracked. So he remained quiet and committed only to listening instead.
"When I realized at the log how terrified I felt loving you, I think some of why I moved on with Lucas instead was in search of that stability you mentioned. It's like what you said about fate, sometimes it's taking what life gives you and turning it into what you want. That's exactly what I did, and why it made sense to me."
Since ending her engagement, Elizabeth had often spiraled into frustration over her choices. But, she, too, appreciated this conversation because it offered her validation for why it seemed so natural to choose the path she did at the time. As she explained more of her heart, she hoped Nathan understood. "I became a widow and essentially a single parent only two weeks into my marriage. So, I felt content and even appreciative to find a good man like Lucas I cared about who would build a life with me, one where I felt loved and where Little Jack could grow up with a father in his life."
Now, Elizabeth suddenly realized she might be making too compelling of an argument. "But …," she said, taking a pause to kiss Nathan with all the unexpressed passion this seemingly endless conversation had intensified.
Nathan grinned after she reluctantly released her lips from his, liking the clear shift in their conversation. He savored her warmth with two more quick kisses before asking, "You were saying?"
The sparkle in Elizabeth's blue eyes suggested she'd lost her train of thought, which was confirmed as she dropped her gaze and tucked in her lips.
To jog her memory, Nathan provided a few leading words, without breaking a smile. "You were explaining the wonderful life you were planning with Lucas …"
Elizabeth playfully jabbed her elbow into him as she remembered the context. "There was a very important 'But,' in there, Nathan. So important, in fact, that I couldn't resist proving my point first."
"I could use more proof," Nathan noted, with a serious expression on his face, gesturing with one hand toward his lips.
"You are too much, Nathan Grant!" Elizabeth exclaimed, all of the sudden caught up in the giggles. Moving herself a few inches away, she added, all the while laughing, "We're never going to get through this conversation! And if I'm right, it's for you – I happen to be fully clear of why I'm sitting here with you and not Lucas."
"Okay, okay," Nathan smiled, clearly repentant, drawing Elizabeth's arms apart and pulling her back beside him. Once she settled back in against him, he continued, "That's true. This conversation is for me, and I really do appreciate you being so open, 'Lizbeth.'"
With a bit of a desperate look, he admitted with a guilty smile, "I'm just getting tired of words," blatantly eyeing her lips, and trying not to groan in protest.
"I know the feeling," she said slowly as she unavoidably snuck a quick glance at his lips. "So let's finish," she committed, newly resolved. "I think I've almost said everything I feel will be helpful."
Nathan waited expectantly. After a pause, Elizabeth remembered that she'd been the one to divert them. "Right, so," she smiled, "as I was saying … " Her demeanor suddenly shifted, knowing she and Nathan were finally coming into the most meaningful part of their conversation.
A palpable tension settled into the air as their smiles faded, suddenly grounded in this conversation related to Nathan's trust for their future. The lightness that once filled the room gave way to a deep, shared understanding for where they hoped to be beyond this discussion.
Elizabeth turned to Nathan, needing their eyes first to connect. As her gaze sank into his ocean-blue depths, she realized that if nothing else, he would at least see straight through to her heart.
"Nathan," she started, as her grip on his hand noticeably tightened, with both anticipation and vulnerability, her heart racing at the thought of what she was about to share. "I went forward with what I believed would be a caring, supportive relationship only because I didn't know to wait for what I couldn't imagine was possible."
Elizabeth lightly shook her head, still in awed disbelief at her reality. She gently brushed a lock of Nathan's hair off his forehead. "How could I possibly have known I'd meet my greatest love in the messiest time of my life?"
Nathan's mind immediately did a rewind and replay of what he'd just heard. He already felt entirely humbled to be with Elizabeth. The son of a thief. The man who lived because Jack died. Living in Hope Valley only because of that tragedy. Another Mountie, one who, for a pivotal moment, was also believed to be dead. Surely he must have heard her wrong, which is understandable given the whoosh of his hurried heartbeat drowning out all other sounds.
Elizabeth honestly expected Nathan's silence. She already knew all the words playing out in his mind.
It had never been her intention to compare Jack to Nathan, and she felt deeply apologetic toward Jack for doing so. Yet, Jack would understand that her measurement wasn't taking into consideration what their love might've been had he lived. But that wasn't the way their story played out. And Jack wanted her to open her heart to love again.
So, here she was, holding the gaze of the most selfless man she'd ever known – a man who, with great personal sacrifice, had consistently placed her happiness and safety far above his own, an honorable choice he ironically made for the first time even before he'd met her. As they unexpectedly fell in love and he recognized her fear, he sincerely offered to quit the Mounties for her to remove any related worry.
For eleven years, he'd prioritized his niece, building a life for the two of them focused entirely on her needs. This man's hands even tenderly styled the young girl's hair, turning out some surprisingly decent looking braids. He'd also quietly supported a town that had initially been unwelcoming, all the while expecting nothing in return.
Yet, despite the weight of her own decisions that had twice crushed him, Nathan loved her wholeheartedly in ways she'd never known before. He continued to be there for her, even while she was dating Lucas. Then, Elizabeth thought, in absolute wonder, as the tides shifted and she ended her engagement to Lucas, Nathan graciously and vulnerably opened his heart again to her.
As her eyes grew teary, Elizabeth desperately wanted to reassure Nathan that she was giving him her whole heart. With all the weight he carried in Jack's death, she needed him to know, as the one who survived, the inexpressible joy and fulfillment he brought her – an undeniable feeling of home that only he, Nathan Grant, could provide.
So, in an increasingly shaky voice, Elizabeth repeated, "You are my greatest love, Nathan."
As her words hung in the air, Nathan felt a rush of warmth and gratitude wash over him. Hearing Elizabeth say, "You are my greatest love," spread a soothing salve throughout his heart, illuminating the last shadows of doubt that had lingered since Jack's death.
Overcome and speechless, Nathan still resisted kissing her as his only response. Remembering the words she'd spoken at the log, and then years later in front of her rowhouse, he knew words were important and memorable, especially for moments like this one.
Nathan struggled to find expressive enough words for what he felt. His heart stretched taut. It pounded. It clenched. It soared. It did all the things. He wanted more than anything to say this right, to respond in a way that showed Elizabeth his heart was just as full.
As he settled on the words he'd been readying himself to say throughout the night, he cleared his throat, entirely uncertain as to how he was going to get through this.
Elizabeth watched him methodically working through something in that mind of his. Although her racing heart was already speaking to the significance of this moment, seeing the tip of Nathan's tongue settle between his lips – an endearing sign of his nervousness – ignited a fire within her, leaving her anxious to hear what he might say.
'Lizbeth,' he started, in an unexpectedly husky tone. "I'm so humbled that you'd say that."
He paused, shaking his head, the tip of his tongue peeking out to rest again, as though gathering his thoughts. It slipped back in as he found his voice. "I thought when I first lost you, that I couldn't possibly love you more."
With glistening eyes, Nathan whispered, "But I do," clearly clenching his jaw to control his emotions. A shaky smile crossed his lips as he softly took her other hand in his. "I love you more each day—by the hour even."
He blew out a breath through parted lips. "But what's really changed for me," he said, the tip of his tongue making its final appearance, "is that I need you in my life, 'Lizbeth. It's something I've never allowed myself to do … to need anyone. But, I want to need you."
Tears welled in Elizabeth's eyes, mirroring the emotion in his. "I need you too, Nathan," she whispered, squeezing his hands with her love. I think you've always known that, though," she said with a soft laugh. "I'm solidly in the 'can't live without you' camp," she added humbly, referring to their earlier assessments of marriage.
As they exchanged heartfelt smiles, Elizabeth's eyes searched Nathan's, immersed in the depths of his open heart. "I love you, Nathan, more than you can imagine."
Nathan lifted his hand to Elizabeth's cheek, and as she leaned into his touch, he gently brushed his thumb along her soft skin. "I love you, 'Lizabeth," he replied, his voice anchored in new and unwavering trust.
Despite all the passion they'd been longing to express, this moment somehow demanded a different intimacy. Elizabeth silently scooted onto Nathan's lap, lightly twisting her torso to fully face him. Instinctively, they pulled each other close into an especially tight embrace, melding heart to heart, entirely enveloped in each other's arms. She held him as much as he held her.
This conversation about Lucas had unexpectedly launched these two into a new boundless love, where Nathan not only felt needed, but infinitely loved, and where Elizabeth felt not only loved, but profoundly needed.
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Author's Notes:
Thank you for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! There's one more to come that will be worth the wait! A special shoutout to whencallsthemusic on IG for helping me expand what we'd all hope to hear from Nathan and Elizabeth as they discussed Lucas and how that relationship impacted their own journey. There's still a bit more to be shared on that topic in the next chapter, as well.