Thank you all so much for your kind reviews to my last chapter and even more for your patience!

Now, I am skipping a few episodes and moving directly to episode 6 "The Helium Insufficiency". This tale starts when Amy gets home from Howard and Bernadette's place, after the whole dating-app debacle and after Dave's texts were displayed on the TV.

More on this tale and my (barely-existent) schedule in the end notes.

The Love Retrieval Chronicles
Tale 4 – "The Helium Insufficiency"
Part 1 of 4

Amy

"Stupid app.", Amy muttered as she closed her apartment door behind her.

"Stupid friends.", she hissed, as she dropped her keys into the bowl with a loud 'clang'.

Kicking off her shoes, she fell down on the couch, rubbing the bridge of her nose with a tired sigh as she shut her eyes.

"Stupid texts.", she sighed, shaking her head in frustration. "Stupid Dave."

She stifled a sob, looking at her phone.

"Stupid Amy.", she mumbled at last before she felt the first tear run down her cheeks. "Stupid, stupid Amy."

She buried her face in her hand and rocked back and forth as she tried to calm herself down.

Amy couldn't remember a time when she was feeling this tired and upset before.

When exactly had her life become this exhausting?

When had her friends become this intrusive?

When had she become this woman? This woman with a dating app on her phone. This woman who met random men at bookstores? And then went out with them too?

She bit her lips and smiled a little.

Well, that last part wasn't that bad.

Unexpected. Unfamiliar. Strange. Awkward.

But not bad. Not bad at all.

Dave was a nice man. She kind of liked him. And he… well, it seemed he really liked her.

Who would have thought, just a few months ago, that she would successfully attract the attention of several perfectly fine men?

Putting herself out there had paid off already. Yes, it still felt weird, but her self-esteem had reached new heights as she realized there were men out there who actually found the prospect of dating her desirable.

It had caught her by surprise too. Not just the attention but also how much she was enjoying it.

Dave… he was so nice. He really listened to her. He was making plans with her. Of his own free will. She did not have to ask or to wait or to try to make it happen.

He was just there. Willing to take her out. Willing to give her attention.

Even so, she wasn't entirely sure she was really ready for this. For more dates that would eventually lead to… other things.

It was going too fast… way too fast for her liking.

Which was stupid as well. Wasn't this the point of this whole 'getting out there'-thing?

But in the back of her mind, and as much as she tried to fight it, Amy still felt as if she was doing something wrong. As if she was betraying Sheldon.

Which was crazy. Sheldon was moving on. He was going to bars, asking out women.

Who knew if maybe he was already writing similar texts as the ones, she had received from Dave today?

She did not owe him anything anymore.

And yet… a part of her felt like she did.

Maybe that's why she hadn't felt ready to tell her friends.

Pain shot through her veins.

The secret was out now, right? There was no way their friends would keep this to themselves.

Maybe they had already told Sheldon about Dave.

Or maybe they had not. Maybe… maybe Sheldon was out with another woman tonight. Maybe that's why he hadn't been at Howard and Bernadette's tonight.

Her eyes shifted to the spot on the couch next to her. The spot where she had allegedly first kissed him.

Am's lips quivered as she remembered all the history. All the small moments she and Sheldon had shared.

Two awkward, inexperienced weirdos. Two people that had never fit in anywhere but together just felt… complete.

They had grown so much together. And every step they had ever taken, they had taken together.

She shook her head, trying to get her mind off Sheldon.

She should not be thinking of him. She should be thinking about Dave.

Dave… he was different.

He was awkward too. Maybe he didn't really fit in as well.

But… he used to be married. He was experienced in things she wasn't. He wasn't uninterested in romance or relationships. He knew exactly what he wanted.

And apparently, he wanted her. Amy.

She smiled again. It was nice. Nice, to be wanted. Nice to be pursued.

Everything was nice. Everything about Dave and their situation.

And yet…

Amy frowned.

As much as she wanted to… she just did not feel it. That connection.

The connection she had felt with Sheldon. She had felt it from the beginning. From the first moment, she had just known that there was something special about him.

She desperately wanted to feel it again. And she wished so bad that she could have the same feeling about Dave.

She reread his messages.

"I had a great time last night."

"And I'd love to take you out again."

Amy sighed again.

Sheldon had never written messages like those. Sheldon was… different.

Not just in a bad way. But also, not just in a good way.

Conversations with him were always fascinating. He challenged her in a way she had never been challenged before.

But then again… being with him was a challenge too. One that wasn't always pleasant.

Dave wasn't challenging. Not emotionally. Which was very pleasant. But also… not intellectually. Which was… not so pleasant.

But… he was so… nice.

Maybe she should be lowering her expectations and give him another chance.

Or maybe…

She scrolled through her phone until she found the very new, strange looking icon.

Yes. That was it.

Maybe she should not be settling on anyone yet. Maybe she was doing this whole "getting out there"-thing wrong. Maybe she should meet more people. See what else was out there.

And maybe she could feel it again someday. The connection she was looking for.

Determined, she sat up straight and opened the app.

First, she edited her profile. Picked a picture that said more about herself than the one Penny had taken at their last girls' night where she was holding a huge glass of wine and winking in the camera.

Then, she deleted the ridiculous, flirty things Penny had written and exchanged it with the truth.

"Hey, my name is Amy. I'm recently single and ready to enter the dating world again."

She added science, reading, quilting and Little House on the Prairie to her interests.

Then she tried to come up with a description of what she was looking for, but it all sounded too much like the man she was definitely no longer thinking about.

So, she settled on. "Looking for a decent, intelligent man who likes deep conversations and won't shy away from a scientific argument."

She started scrolling again then.

Even with the first suggested match, she wished she hadn't started this. And the ones that followed weren't much better.

There was 'Lord_of_the_pizzas'. Pizza sauce smeared all over his blurry face and on his profile, he went on about needing a partner who accepted his cheese obsession but wouldn't ask him to share his favorite food.

What the hell…

Thumbs down.

Then there was 'MuscleMachoMan'. He was flexing his muscles so hard, his face was beet red.

She snorted.

Thumbs down.

Several more gym-obsessed men with weird, half-naked profile pictures and profiles filled with phrases like "If you don't lift, we can't date".

Thumbs down. Thumbs down. Thumbs down.

'Xx_GamerLord_xX' was next. His face was barely visible because of the big headset and the computer screen being the only source of light. "Level 100 Mage", his profile said. "Looking for a queen to sit next to me while I dominate Azeroth".

Amy chuckled.

Thumbs down.

At that point, she realized, she would probably not be finding her perfect match on this app, but maybe she could at least have some fun with it to take her mind off this day.

She kept giggling as she scrolled through profile after profile. Hitting the 'Thumbs down'-button left and right.

At some point, she went and poured herself a glass of wine. And then another one.

It only made her mission funnier.

Grown men making terrible attempts on yoga poses. Their faces contorted in pain as they were clearly about to crash into shelfs full of plates. Raving about the comfort of wearing yoga pants and calling themselves spiritual warriors.

A man sitting in a kid's pool, holding a rubber chicken for no apparent reason than trying to appear quirky.

Several men wearing sunglasses in front of their bathroom mirror, holding their phones up with the flash on, throwing up peace signs clearly under the influence of different kinds of substances.

Amy was laughing so hard, her stomach was starting to hurt.

But then… all at once, she did not feel like laughing anymore. On the contrary. It only took one glance at the next profile picture for her to sober up completely.

She had to blink twice as she could barely believe her eyes.

The man on the picture… the attractive, tall man, she knew all too well. Dressed in his best date night clothes.

"How dare he…", she whispered as she took him in. "I took this picture. And he called me ridiculous and overly nostalgic when I sent it to him."

Tears filled her eyes again as she read the profile description.

He mentioned his IQ of course. His occupation.

His interests. "Theoretical physics. Flags. Star Trek."

And – Amy raised her eyebrows in confusion – "clarifying nomenclature".

His demands in a partner: Someone intelligent who valued science as much as he did. And – Amy raised her eyebrows again – someone who could name the difference between a stalemate and a Mexican standoff.

Her heart constricted painfully. She had no idea where those strange remarks on his profile came from. He must have been making whole new connections and acquaintances which did not involve her at all.

It hurt.

Finally, she dared to look at his face again.

His gentle face. The cute, boyish smile. The piercing blue eyes.

He looked happy and relaxed in this picture. Of course he did. It was taken outside of the movie theater where she had watched one of his silly space movies with him.

Amy put down her phone and released a sob.

Sheldon was trying to find a new girlfriend. Someone new to make him feel happy and relaxed. Someone to dress up for and to go on dates with. Someone intelligent and apparently someone to share his new interest of 'clarifying nomenclature'.

And she… if she was honest, she would prefer a night of sitting across from Sheldon, defining nomenclature, to every single date she had been on since their break-up.

She would prefer watching ridiculous science fiction movies and eating pizza on Valentine's Day. Playing trivia games in the living room. Sitting together in her lab and have him criticize the way she cut into brains.

She missed it all. And she missed him. More than she could have ever expected.

Granted, he hadn't always been a good boyfriend to her. But sometimes… no, not just sometimes, but quite often, he had been the best boyfriend she could imagine.

Brilliant. Hilarious. Honest. Loyal. And – in his own way – even considerate. At least he had tried to be.

The way he had tried for her… had made her heart melt so often. Much more than Dave's attention or his gentleman-like behavior.

She took her phone again and stared at the picture.

This man. He was it. Her one and only perfect match. He always was and he always would be.

How dare he move on from her? How dare he try to find someone else?

It was making her furious. First at him. And then at herself.

Before she got sad again. And then… then she felt stubborn.

He was her man. Hers. No one else's. And even if she could not do anything about it, at least she could make a statement. If only to herself.

Maybe it was the wine that let her forget for a moment that it could not be. That it was not right.

But the decision had been made.

Her right finger moved, out of its own will and pressed on the icon.

Thumbs up.

It felt satisfying. Like a small act of rebellion against herself.

Even though she knew it did not matter. He would never know. No one would ever know.

Maybe her profile would never come up on Sheldon's app. Maybe he wasn't even checking anymore because he had already found someone else.

And even if he did check, there was no way he would give her a 'Thumbs up'. Not after she had broken up with him. Not after he had been to a bar and seen what else was out there.

He was moving on.

So was she.

But at least, as she was reluctantly moving on, it would always be her little secret that she had done this. Admitted to herself what a giant mistake she had made.

She released a shuddering breath, then got up to clean her wine glass. She changed into her nightgown and went to bed, without checking her phone again.

She fell asleep, without hearing the notification.

And she would not see the message until morning.

"You are matched."

Sheldon

What a strange, tiresome day.

Sheldon couldn't quite believe it.

He had broken the law and obtained helium from a questionable source.

Then paid to return it.

And then paid again to buy it back.

He had invited a criminal into his home to watch a movie together.

Which was a surprisingly fun ending to a scary day.

And a welcome distraction.

Talking about life and science and movies with someone who was smart but had taken an entirely different path in life than he and Leonard had.

Ken was rude and obnoxious and rough and he seemed kind of dangerous. But he also seemed like someone who did not give a crap about consequences for his actions or about what anyone thought of him.

And although it did not match with any standard Sheldon set for himself, he couldn't help but feel impressed.

After the movie, Sheldon declined the suggestion to visit a strip club together, so they sat and talked about life.

For some reason, the conversation shifted to girls. Leonard showed off a picture of Penny in a bikini and after the guy was done drooling over it, he turned to Sheldon.

"So… Skippy. What was that about you being unable to find love yourself?"

Sheldon cringed.

"It was a cover.", he said, trying to sound bored. "I'm not a wedding planner either in case you haven't noticed."

He did not like the way Ken kept looking at him. As if he had figured him out.

"You cannot fool me.", he snorted. "I recognized you were lying about being a wedding planner. But when you said you cannot find love yourself, you seemed serious. And sad. So, what's the story there."

"There's no story.", Sheldon insisted stubbornly. "I'm in love with lady science. I don't need anyone else."

"Is he for real?", the man turned to Leonard.

"Nah, he just doesn't want to admit that he just got dumped.", his best friend said to Sheldon's horror.

"Dumped, huh?", the strange guy said and grinned sleazily. "Well, if you feel lonely, then there's a solution."

"I already said I don't want to go to a strip club.", Sheldon protested.

"Still don't understand why not, but that's not what I meant.", Ken rebutted.

And then, things had gotten out of hand and Sheldon could only watch the next events unfold.

In mere minutes, the stranger had taken his phone, installed a strange app, scrolled through Sheldon's photos, chosen a profile pictures and then, together with Leonard the traitor written a few lines that were apparently 'just the right words to attract his perfect match'.

Sheldon's protests and his insistence that dating websites were hokum fell on deaf ears.

"It works like a charm.", the stranger had told him. "I've found four perfect matches to hook up with last month alone."

He pulled out his own phone and shoved it in Sheldon's face.

"See? Three new matches today."

Sheldon rolled his eyes as he looked at Ken's profile. He was standing in front of his car, posing like a gangster.

Who would ever give that a "thumbs up"?

Suddenly, he felt tired.

He knew it was pointless to tell Ken or Leonard that he wasn't interested in hook-ups. And that he did not need matches. That the probability to meet his perfect match over this app was less than zero.

He had already found her. And she did not want him anymore.

And as soon as Ken had left his apartment, he had excused himself to go to bed.

Where he was now.

With his phone in his hand, ready to delete the app again.

But then he saw a notification.

'New interesting profiles in your area.'

He huffed.

Yeah, right. Interesting profiles.

Rolling his eyes, he opened the app.

Just like he thought.

Ridiculous selfies of women wearing way too much make-up. Profile descriptions that did not make sense to him.

Why would he care if those women were "Swifties" or "metal chicks"? What did it matter if they liked to dance or what their favorite cocktail was?

Hokum. All of it. He couldn't press the "Thumbs down"-button fast enough on all of them.

But then…

No. Impossible.

What was she doing on there?

He blinked as he saw her. Standing in her lab. Wearing her white lab coat. Her hair up in a ponytail.

She looked focused and happy and so, so intelligent and beautiful.

Why? Why was she doing this to him? Why was she throwing it in his face?

Hadn't it been torturous enough to hear about Kripke asking her out?

Had he felt relieved too early, when she told him she had said no?

Was she actually trying to find a new man to date?

Sheldon blinked away the tears forming in his eyes.

He wanted to close his phone and forget about it, but his brain started itching.

By installing this app – albeit unwillingly – he had agreed to the terms. Thumbs down if you don't like what you see. Thumbs up if you do.

And so, even if he did not want to, under these terms, there was only one thing he could do.

It didn't matter anyway. Amy would never know.

He startled as his phone beeped before he could even put it on his nightstand.

And then, he had to pinch himself as he saw the notification. No, he was not dreaming.

"You are matched."

So, I hope you liked this little twist.

Things will be moving a bit slowly from here on. Most of the story will be rather light-hearted but there will be a few bumps in the road too of course. The last of the chapters might be M-rated, but I am not entirely sure right now.

The number of chapters is for now only an estimation. I think I can finish this tale in four chapters, and I have them all outlined, but from experience, I can say that things often change once I start writing everything out. So, for now, let's say, there will most likely be four parts, but it could also be three or five.

As for the schedule: I cannot promise anything right now. Things at school are going very well and we are all slowly adjusting to the changes. The workload has been crazy though. I am really glad I got to write a little bit this week, but it will not always be like this. That's why I chose to write this tale next. With the chapters a bit shorter and not so much drama to write, I might be able to keep up. Maybe I will be posting a chapter a week, or maybe there will be two weeks in between, I don't know yet.

As always thank you all for understanding and please let me know what you think!