Sathe pulled the hood of her cloak over her ears as she shuffled back toward the infirmary. By the time she made it to the great hall most of the beasts were gone and food was beginning to be put away. She didn't feel like eating anything but grabbed a cold scone for Minerva and fed it to her crumb by crumb. The baby wormed around wanting to be let free of the ferret's crushing grasp and explore but eventually, she fell asleep.
Sathe wondered about the abbey that was slowly falling turning in for the night. The Redwallers prattled around not paying any attention to the ferret as she slid through the Abbey like a spirit in the dead of night. Slowly torches sputtered and died as candles burnt themselves to nothing. Sathe with her eyes adjusted continued to roam. Her tears had dried, yet she couldn't seem to shake the sense of dread that had been following her. Minerva and Brin were sisters? Seabane was a mad rat but both he and Marrow were far too scared to lie. Could they blame the new weasels for what happened? What if one of the other deserters decided to betray the rest of them? Then what? What would Mildred think of her? How would Brin react knowing she'd been protecting her family's murders? What about Trilloway? The Long Patrol hare wouldn't jump to her defense. Maybe she deserved to be slain?
A cold breeze cut through her cloak. Sathe froze, breath catching in her throat. Paw steps that echoing from behind her fell silent. She turned and investigated the distant gloom. There was nothing.
"I know you're back there!" Sathe shouted with a sight tremble in her voice. There was no response.
Sathe realized she was in the hallway with the stained-glass windows. She was standing beneath the mural of the squirrel standing atop the dead pure ferret. A perfect spot for a killing.
Suddenly, there was a crack, like a staff against a stone. Without thinking Sathe bolted. The terrible cracking pounding in her ears with every step. She wondered if she could outrun a ghost. She was too afraid to scream. Panting, she burst through the door to the infirmary slamming it shut with a click. It was dark but she knew her way through the infirmary. She rushed through the darkness desperate to find her cot and hide away from whatever was chasing her when she bounced off a wall of fur.
"Bloody hell! Wots going on?" Trilloway barked. He was shirtless but wore dark high breeches and carried unsheathed his sword and a spear, ready for battle.
"The ghost!" Sathe cried as she grabbed his ankle. "He's here! He chased me from the kitchen and through the halls! He's gonna slay me an' Minerva!"
Sathe could see a fury bloom on the hare's face in the darkness. "Stay behind me!" The burly hare ordered as he stepped toward the looming darkness. Sathe shuffled behind the hare who slowly moved toward the entrance to the door.
"Bushby! Merrywink! Get out here we've got some trouble!" From behind the hare a few curses and the sounds of beasts rushing from their cots filtered to the hallway. "One of yew bring a light!"
As quick as a flash three doors were thrown open and two messy, and confused hares shouldered up to Trilloway. Ruddy hurried from the third door, tying his kilt around his waist with one paw and carrying a candle in another.
"What's going on? Where's the scum needin' a good thrashin', wot wot?" An unnaturally tall hare with fur the color of dirty copper asked.
"The ghost's here somewhere, Phil," Trilloway growled as he leveled his spear at the entrance to the dark waiting room. Bushby disappeared before reappearing in a flash with a spear in one paw and a saber in the other. He handed the spear to the tall hare with a silent nod.
Ruddy also disappeared back into his room without notice, taking the light with him.
"Damnit Bluddy bring back that flippin' light, wot!" Bushby snapped. There was noticeable rustling and then a splintering crack as wood was ripped and splintered apart. Sathe squeaked in fear, thinking the worst. A moment later Ruddy returned with the candle in one paw and a cupboard drawer in the other.
"What are ye doin' ye dolt!" Merrywink demanded.
"I got me a weapon rabbet!" The fox said with a mischievous grin.
Of course, the fox thinks this is a game! Sathe thought with disgust. Mebbe he should be the beast that goes first. A malicious smile crossed the ferret's face thinking of the fate that would befall the fool.
"What do yew need a weapon for? Ye can barely walk, wot!"
"I kin walk yew twig legged fool! Giv' me yer spear and I'll run th' ghost through!"
"I'm not givin' ye anything other than a drubbing' ye-"
"Ruddy, we need light!" Sathe snapped. The fox looked at her confused.
"I've got it here." He responded, lifting the candle higher for her to see. Sathe wanted Merrywink to drub his brains too mush.
"Give it here lad!" Trilloway snapped, taking the candle from the fox and handing him a spear. Ruddy's eyes lit up in joy as he tossed the drawer to the side and snatched the weapon from the hare.
Trilloway didn't react to the fox's apparent glee as he edged forward sword in one paw and dim candle in the other. Sathe held onto the waist of his breeches as the other hares fell in step. Ruddy's wooden leg made a clack with every step raising the fur on the back of Sathe's neck.
Sathe opened her mouth to ask if Trilloway could see anything right as he leaped into the darkness, pulling the ferret along with landing hard on her knees as the other three beasts burst into the empty room.
"Where's the ghost?" Bushby asked, looking every which way for a specter or a beast to slash at.
"Be quiet!" Trilloway barked and they all fell silent as they all searched about the dimly lit room. Nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary.
"Whoever it was is gone now."
Sathe didn't feel much better by the news and was quite astonished Trilloway would call off the search without even making much of an attempt.
"We don't know that!" She snapped; trying not to sound as desperate as she felt. "The ghost could be outside the door or in the walls!"
Bushby opened the door to the hallway. "Looks empty t' me. If the ghosts in the walls I reckon there isn't a bloomin' thing we can jolly well do about it."
The juvenile hare's confirmation did little to soothe Sathe's frayed nerves. "Well, he must've snuck past us! Yew idjits were fightin' over light an' weapons and let 'em get by!"
Ruddy groaned. "She's probably hearin' things again. She's been gettin' madder an' madder since we showed up!"
"I'm not mad you stupid cripple!" Sathe stormed to her feet ready to take Ruddy's other leg while she was at it. "He escaped because yew wanned t' be a hero! Tearing up yer room probably woke the whole abbey!"
"I was tryin' t' help!" The fox cracked back as he puffed out his chest. "It's somethin' warriors do. Yew wouldn't know anything about it ye chicken-brained coward!"
"An' ye ended bein' more of a bloomin' burden than anythin' useful, wot!" Merrywink snapped, he seemed to be more annoyed that he had to treat the fox as if he was Ruddy's mother. "Rippin' up yer room like a proper savage, eh? Now we've got no Ghost an' twice as much t' fix, wot wot!"
"Good work ye knobheaded cur!" Sathe spat under her breath. She was content with the fox being blamed for the Ghost's escape, it put a smaller target on her.
Merrywink strode over to Ruddy and ripped the spear out of his paws before rapping him on the rear with it."Off t' bed with ye, fox! If we get roused again t'night, I best not see yer ugly mug, wot wot!"
"I won't save ye rabbit! Even iv yer mother begs me tah do it!" Ruddy snarled before hanging his head and shuffling back to his room.
"Thanks fer the light, Ruddy!" Trilloway called out as the fox slammed his door shut. Trilloway frowned as he looked at the other hares.
"He's the only one who listened."
"He's an idiot." Sathe snapped, irate that Trilloway was showing more concern toward the fox than towards her "Don't praise foolishness unless ye want t' surround yerself with it."
Merrywink scoffed, as Trilloway glared at him. The tall hare looked to have reconsidered what he was about to say.
""Ha! We won't catch the Ghost if he vanishes into the walls, eh? Even Trilloway can't bash through stone—no matter how much ye'd like t' see 'im try!" Bushby quipped, his jovial attitude didn't match the seriousness of the situation.
"What's that supposed t' mean Eggy?" Trilloway growled with obvious annoyance.
"The lads saw ye stroll straight inta one o' those stone arches at dinner. Reckon ye thought ye could walk through walls—or maybe ye were after someone special, ye scurrilous cad, wot wot!" Trilloway threw an elbow into the smaller hare which caused peals of painful laughter.
"Looking for who?" Sathe asked. Trilloway stammered as he looked between his needling cousin and the ferret.
"Brin. I was looking for Brin." Trilloway said after a slight pause. "Her family's been slain, I thought I could offer some kind of condolences."
Sathe kept her mouth shut. She was keenly aware of Minerva's peaceful breathing as the guilt flooded through her mind.
Bushby was silent for a moment, before breaking into a mischievous grin. "Naw, ye knew Brin was in th' infirmary being consoled by Miss Mildred and Abbot Micah. Ye were looking for someone else! Someone Auntie Paisly and Uncle Ulfrad would be right horrified t' know about, wot!"
Trilloway batted at him with the flat of his blade and Bushby parried the threat away with his own. The two began to fight with the intensity of two arguing siblings as Sathe watched with growing unease.
"Would ye focus on tryin' t' catch that ghost instead of blubberin' like a runnin' stream, wot!"Trilloway boomed as he slashed at his younger cousin.
"Awww, come now cousin sometime big softies like yerself need a bit of a push!" Bushby barbed as he danced away from the strikes. "I just know how deeply ye care fer the scurvy-tail, I thought ye needed a bit o' help, wot!"
"Shut up, both of ye!" Merrywink snapped as their swordplay came to a halt. "It's time fer bed! Now go t' sleep or I'll knock ye both out meself, wot!"
"Don't worry lad I was just gettin' tired, wot!" The young corporal responded bouncing past his larger cousin and winking at Sathe. "I figured I'd test his mettle in case our champion needs t' protect this fair maiden."
"But what about the Ghost?" Sathe asked, the intent behind Bushby's words flying clear over her head. Bushby shrugged as Trilloway lowered his weapon.
"What more can we do? Wakin' everyone up 'll only cause more trouble than it'll solve, an' I reckon we're better off waitin' for the mornin' light, wot!" The young hare voiced.
Trilloway sighed. "I agree with the lad. It's too late and we'd only be puttin' all ourselves in danger if we searched in the dark for 'im."
"What if he's still here!" Sathe snapped, furious at the hare's inaction. They were great at fighting vermin, they never backed down from that kind of challenge, but these beasts became pusillanimous simpletons with the ghost. She pointed an accusatory finger at Trilloway.
"You're supposed t' protect me! Yet yer actin' like a dibbun playin' wid his toys rather than soldiers!"
"What do you want us to do, wot?" Trilloway asked, his brows furrowed in annoyance. "D 'ye wanna search the infirmary with me?"
Sathe was taken aback. "Why d' ye want me t' check the infirmary? Ye afraid t' do it yerself?"
Trilloway ignored her barbarous comment. "I think it would calm yer nerves t' see there're no beasts aside from the four of us. Besides," Trilloway winked at her. "I could use some company, wot."
Sathe's upper lip rose in a snarl. The hare wore an out-of-place smile. It wasn't unkind or hiding something scarcely seen from other vermin, but something she was sorely lacking. Sathe shut her eyes and exhaled. Her stomach growled its discomfort as the fur about her eyes drooped like it was sopped with water.
"Alright hare," Sathe responded after a moment of tired silence. "But make it quick and if you let this ghost get away one more time, I'll take yer sword and find 'im meself!"
"I promise my fierce lady, if I catch a whiff or a whisper from this brute I'll run 'im through faster than lightning!" Trilloway finished with a pompous bow. Sathe did her best to remain a solid cold wall of determination. If anything, Trilloway was the only one of the hares that Sathe thought wouldn't bash her head against the rocks.
"Lead on hare." Sathe ordered as she started toward the infirmary's hallway. She snatched the candle from Trilloway and bumped into Merrywink without an apology. Bushby laughed.
"Ye picked a winner there, wot wot." Merrywink shot, his face scrunched as if he were trying to block a horrid odor.
"Get back t' bed fool," Trilloway grumbled. "If we need either of ye you'll hear us."
"Blimey, mate, you've got strange taste!" Bushby ribbed with a mischievous light in his eyes. "She's more likely to sharpen her claws on yer ears than kiss 'em! But hey, some beasts like the thrill of danger, wot?"
Trilloway's face lit up as he swatted at the younger hare with his blade. "This isn't anytime fer jokes fool!"
The caddish hare danced away as Trilloway stormed after him. Sathe watched the larger hare from the corner of her eye. She pulled her cowl over her head to shield a playful smile. "Come along long-ears, we've got a ghost to catch."
Trilloway turned on his heel after chasing the smaller hare to his room. "This way's clear ma'am."
"I hope the two o' yew songbirds have a lovely stroll." Bushby cackled as he closed the door to his room. "I heard the infirmary is quite beautiful at this time o' night!"
"Ignore Bushby. That wet-eared gnat's head is so empty if ye shouted inta one ear ye hear the echo out the other, wot."
Sathe laughed softly at the thought, careful not to break the careful stillness of the main hall of the infirmary. The ferret had placed the sleeping baby in her cot in Sathe's room. If there was any trouble, she figured the babe would be safer in its cot than with her. Only she and Trilloway were illuminated in the candlelight. Most of the private rooms in the infirmary were filled with vermin or guards. Mildred slept in one and Sister Beryl in another as the final room still had a broken window that had yet to have been replaced.
"I could've figured the two of ye were cousins." Sathe barbed as she slowly walked between the beds holding the flickering candle in one paw and the squirrel babe in the other. "Not all hares can be as dim as the two o' you."
Sathe tossed a sideways glance at the hare hoping to see him crack. Trilloway remained unperturbed.
"Yer right, not all hares are as jovial, good looking, strong, energetic,-"
"Boisterous, clumsy, unserious-"
"And as fun as the Trilloway clan!" The hare's half-smile was visible in the dark.
"Of course, you know all that already. Constantly following me around like a heartsick dibbun. I can barely get any sleep before ye barge in and pull me from my bed. You're lucky I'm such a kind and patient beast."
"Ye daft fool!" Sathe shot back. "If ye would've caught the ghost when he lamed me claw, we wouldn't be rebuildin' the larder an' we'd both be snug in bed."
"I wouldn't mind that." Trilloway winked at her.
Sathe scrunched her nose in disgust and huffed past the hare as she failed to stem the color rushing to her face. "Disgusting brute!"
"It was a joke lass," Trilloway sighed as he followed closely behind. "An' it's not the worst thing ye've ever said."
Sathe scrunched her mouth shut knowing he was correct. In the silence that followed it seemed he didn't want to pursue that vein any more than she did. The two paced through the infirmary in serendipitous quiet. Sathe glanced at the hare ever so often to remind herself she wasn't alone. He was, as she expected, clumsy in the dark, though that could be chalked up to her far superior eyesight. Sathe slid about a trundle without stopping. Behind her, she heard a soft thud followed by a low muttered curse.
"Blast it," the hare's voice grumbled barely louder than a whisper. "Who put that bally cart there?"
Sathe rolled her eyes listening for his footsteps as he tried to catch up with the ferret who hurried ahead. Another stumble, another muttered apology to the cavernous dark room. A grin tugged at the corners of Sathe's mouth.
"Need a lantern, long ears?" Sath called softly as she looked over her shoulder. She kept her voice low enough not to disturb the still room.
He froze for a moment, his ears flicking toward the ferret's voice. "I've got it under control, thank you very much! Just… keepin' things interestin'."
Sathe bit back a laugh as he walked straight into another cot. For a beast so quick to battle he was a wreck in the dark. She heard his grumbling as he righted himself, brushing off some imaginary dust from his breeches. Sathe sighed as she watched the ridiculous beast. For some reason, the way he fumbled through the night didn't annoy her like it should have. With an uncontrolled smile etching onto her face, she glided to the hare and wrapped her arm underneath his.
"You probably scared off the ghost with all of that noise." Sathe chided. She couldn't help but notice how tightly he held to her.
"We'll he'd be smart t' have run off. If I find him, I'll bounce his head off the floor until he apologized fer every horrible thing he's done t' ye!" Trilloway looked down at Sathe. The ferret saw genuine anger in his eyes. Sathe looked away.
"Thank ye fer that, but it doesn't mean much if he gets away," Sathe said, hiding her blush behind her cowl.
"Well, we've still got the rest o' the infirmary t' check, wot," Trilloway stated as he stepped forward. Sathe followed in stride. She thought she should let go of the hare but figured he might get lost if he did. Sathe's thoughts shifted as her thumb and forefinger began to quake. She swiftly switched paws, but the quaking remained.
"Trilloway could ye carry the candle? I dunno iv me paw can handle it for much longer."
"Ah, righto ma'am," Trilloway responded, wrapping his free claw around the brass neck of the candelabra. Sathe noticed his larger paw slowly close overtop of her own. She held her breath but didn't move her paw away.
The two continued wordlessly down the center of the hall. Trilloway holding his sword at the ready, their paws intertwined around the candelabra with its small flame flickering what little light into the darkened room. About a score of cots lined either side of them, making Sathe wonder why the hare couldn't have just moved into the middle of the hall. He could've avoided all the ruckus he caused earlier, but she didn't want to complain about that right now. Sathe glanced up at him, Trilloway quickly looked away with a slight cough. She looked away, another goofy smile working its way onto her masked face. When she looked back at him their eyes met once more.
"Careful, long-ears, you keep starin' at me like that, and I'll think you're forgettin' which side you're on."
"Wot, me? Staring? Hah, perish the thought, marm!" he stammered, ears twitching as the heat crept up his face. "Just… keepin' an eye out, y'know, for danger an' all that. Important business, wot wot!"
He flashed a nervous grin, shifting his weight as if trying to seem casual, but the way his eyes flicked away told a different story. Sathe softly laughed. She couldn't believe she was caught up in this strong hare's ruse. They were looking for the ghost nothing more.
"So, Sathe," Trilloway started, his voice low not to perturb the silence of the room. "I've been wonderin' fer quite some time why this ghost would be runnin' after ye."
"I've been thinkin' that all day," Sathe spat as if she had bitten into a bitter root.
"D'ye think it's truly a ghost that's after ye?" Trilloway responded.
She thought back to the stained-glass hallway and its horrifying visage of Martin the Warrior and the several other works of art that marked Sathe for death. She forced an answer as Trilloway was expectantly looking down at her.
"I dunno. I don't reckon so." Sathe glared at her feet, ears drooping slightly. "I doubt it, though; the blade that cut me claw was as real as day. Whoever it is probably just lied about bein' a ghost t' get closer t' the dibbuns."
Sathe felt Trilloway's gaze linger before he spoke.
"Aye, I think yer probably right. Although I haven't got a clue who it is. I thought-" The hare hesitated.
"You thought what?"
"Well, I thought if it were a ghost he might be after you because you're a seer," Trilloway responded. "Martin the Warrior or any of the other good beasts who are long past might've seen you as a threat to the Abbey, wot"
Sathe felt a shiver grow down her spine. They have every right to be. Sathe thought to herself as Seabane's words and blows throbbed.
"But why would they attack dibbuns? Why would they attack you?"
Sathe laughed aloud, a somber note in her voice. Trilloway looked at her with a raised brow.
"I'm no Redwaller, nor am I a good beast, hare. Yer ghost wants me gone, an' so does every beast outside the infirmary. This is no place for vermin."
Trilloway frowned. "Redwall isn't a place for evil beasts, but you and the deserters aren't evil."
Sathe broke into laughter. This time she couldn't stop herself. This hare is an idiot!
"Wot's so funny?"
"You fool!" Sathe snapped as she struggled to control herself. "I am evil! Yew know that yet ye act like I'm not! You want me to be good, don't ye?"
Trilloway stared intently into the darkness before looking back at the ferret. His eyes were mixed with confusion and sadness. "What are you talking about Sathe? I don't want you to be anything other than you."
"You don't want a ferret, vermin, hordebeast t' be tied t' ye! Yer in the Long Patrol you should've slain me the moment ye laid eyes on me."
"But I didn't, and I won't."
"But what if I snapped? What if I got mad at Mildred one day and cracked her over the 'ead? What if one of your fellow hares were stabbed in the back, an' the trail leads back t' me? What choice would you have then?" Sathe yammered as a tightness grew in her chest.
"Sathe, what in blazes are you talking about!" Trilloway stopped, the lines about his eyes and mouth were etched with worry. "D' ye even hear yourself, you're not a murderer you're a healer, wot."
"I'm a seer you dolt! I've got as much if not more blood on me paws as the Corsair and the white mute!" Sathe snapped.
Trilloway opened his mouth to say something but shut it. Sathe suspected he knew it was true.
"Why are ye tellin' me this?" Trilloway asked, his whiskers drooped in heartbreak. "I'm not going to hurt you."
"You know it's true! Vermin slay beasts they run across, and woodlanders slay vermin t' survive. It's been like that for generations and it'll be like that for a thousand more. You an' me aren't going to stop it!"
"We could try!" Trilloway boomed. They both stopped as his voice echoed through the room. Sathe realized that tears were running down her face. He held the candelabra between the two of them and its faint light illuminated each other's faces.
"Sathe…" Trilloway started as he led her to a nearby cot for the two to sit. "What happened? You wouldn't say any o' this if you weren't scared of somethin', wot."
Sathe sniffled and wiped her eyes. She didn't think she could look Trilloway in the face.
"I missed dinner 'cause I got into a fight wid Seabane. He's scared we're going to be blamed for what happened to Brin's family."
Trilloway shook and looked away from the ferret. The ferret's eyes were doughy as Minerva's innocent face filled her vision.
"Aye, the lass has been taking it quite poorly. I can't say I blame her for it."
"It's horrible and I wish I could tell her I'm sorry." Sathe nodded, clenching her teeth together t' keep from retching. "But I'm scared t' even face her."
"What happened between you and the rat?"
Sathe opened her mouth and then closed it. Tears slid down her face.
"I told him that really like it here," Sathe said softly. "I told him I like you, an' Brin, an' Minerva, an' Mildred, an' Sister Beryl, too! I told him I didn't wanna leave, not at all!" Sathe took a ragged breath.
"Did he strike you?" Trilloway asked. His high cheekbones angled toward her casting long shadows across his face.
"Several times," Sathe responded, her voice empty of any emotion. "Called me a horrible wretch! A murderer who ought t' be slain. Said I'd kill Minerva, an' that he'd slay me first if the Redwallers were t' throw us out."
"That villainous bully!" Trilloway hissed, his mouth transformed into a furious snarl. "Who does he think he is striking you like a coward! If he ever lays a paw on you again, I'll tear his ears off!"
Sathe let out a humorless chuckle, folding her arms across her chest. "Ye think I can't handle myself, long-ears?"
There was a sharpness in her words, a knee-jerk reaction to being seen as weak. But beneath it, something softer flickered - something she tried hard to keep hidden. She hadn't expected anyone to offer that, least of all him.
Trilloway's gaze bore into Sathe's. "It's not about ye bein' weak 'r anything of the sort, it's about stopping that bully from hurting ye or anyone else!"
The hare sat straight backed and rigid, ready to hurl himself to action on her behalf. Setting his jaw as if he were about to brawl with the rat yet looking at the ferret with sympathy akin to that of what Sathe could only assume was an overly protective father.
"He's not wrong." The ferret responded, rubbing at her eyes.
"Of course he is! Would an evil beast help save beasts' lives in the infirmary? No, they wouldn't!" Trilloway responded as if it were a matter of fact.
"I'm a murderer, Quinntebec! Until I ended up here that's all I've ever been!" Sathe blurted. "I've slain more beasts than I can keep track of!"
"You've still helped the Abbey, even if you've got a bloody past. Jus'… don't return to it, wot?" He tried for a grin, but his voice held a note of pleading beneath the humor, as if hoping she could change—or had already begun to.
"It's not that easy."
"Why not?" Trilloway asked.
"Because I'm vermin."
"Enough with that filth!" Trilloway snapped, his empathy transformed to anger. "Just because you say that a thousand times doesn't mean it's true! Firey whiskers, I've met hares far viler than your lot! Philemon Merrywink is one of the worst ones I know!"
"What's so terrible about him?" Sathe asked with morbid curiosity.
"Lad never spares any vermin he comes across. Every vermin we get int' a scrap with 'll end up dead if he crosses blades with 'em. The monster 'll even hunt down fleeing beasts for days afterward. We usually find their bodies floating down a river nearby."
"Does Captain Santain do anything about it?"
"No. I've brought it up to the Captain enough that if I reminded him once more I'd be removed from his regiment."
Sathe grimaced. It all hit too close to home. Attacks on the Long Patrol were a risky gamble. Sometimes they couldn't be helped but were unavoidable and bloody affairs.
"I've treated horde-beasts who purposely hurt themselves just t' avoid yer hares. Our warlord sent 'em anyway, an' I never saw 'em again." Sathe blinked as she tried to push the memory of a terrified rat who had gutted himself on his dagger from her mind. "For good beasts, you certainly have a horrible reputation."
"I could say the same about you and the deserters," Trilloway responded. "There's a fine line between fighting t' protect others and slaying just because you want to. I think the Long Patrol has lost sight of that."
"Why did you join the Patrol?" Sathe asked, her curiosity piqued by the hare's subtle self-reflection.
Trilloways gloomy expression vanished as he laughed quietly to himself. "That's an inane question. You might as well ask a fish why he swims or a gull why she flies, wot!"
Sathe raised an eyebrow. "I-I don't understand."
Trilloway opened his mouth, paused for a thoughtful second, and then spoke. "The best way t' describe it is like a rite of passage. My father served in the Patrol, as did his father before him. It's in the blood, don't y'know? Bein' part of the Long Patrol is what it means to be a true hare of Salamandastron. Every young lad's life's dream is t' join and prove themselves to be strong and honorable warriors. Where the Badger Lord leads, we follow. There's no greater cause than servin' under their command, wot wot!"
"You just said you didn't like the Long Patrol."
"I certainly did not!" Trilloway snapped back like a cracking whip. "I said I think they've lost sight of certain things that they claim to uphold. I can say for certain that there are parts of it I believe need to change. I can say the same with Redwall. We're to protect the weak and drive out evil. We're not here to torment beasts who're already suffering."
"Well then, am I evil?" Sathe asked. Her stare demanded absolute honesty from the hare.
Trilloway sputtered. "What? N-No of course not! In fact, you're quite lovely when you can refrain from calling everyone names. Ye've got a bit of a jagged edge t' ye but you're by far the sweetest vermin I've ever met."
Sathe felt color in her cheeks. She never thought she'd ever hear somebeast calling her sweet or lovely, much less that those words would make her blush.
"An why d' ye say that long-ears? I'm sure ye've gotten a line of haremaids waiting fer ye t' return t' yer mountain with those honeyed words." Sathe responded, secretly hoping she was wrong.
"Ha! Me mum runs most o' them off." Trilloway chuckled, before realizing it was slightly self-incriminating and not what the ferret wanted to hear. "But that being said none of them caught me eye like ye."
"Is it 'cause yer worried I might stab ye?" Sathe teased.
"Initially yes." The hare ribbed with a bright flash in his eyes. "But what really caught me eye was how ye helped Sister Beryl."
Sathe frowned. "Yer Captain threatened t' flay me if I didn't."
"It didn't look like that t' me, wot." Trilloway responded slightly dumbfounded. "When I arrived ye were barking orders about the place and even he didn't seem like he wanted t' stop ye. You were the first vermin I've seen willingly help other beasts."
"Vermin kin help each other," Sathe responded as she crossed her legs on the cot. "It's more common than ye think."
"Is that why ye became a Seer? T' help other vermin?"
Sathe's warm expression faltered. "No. That's not it."
"Well then why did ye?"
"Why d'ye wanna know?" Sathe shot, her voice taking an unintended harder edge.
"Well, ye asked why I joined the Patrol. I think it's only fair I ask why ye joined yer horde." Trilloway said, crossing his arms.
Sathe admitted he had a point, however, her apprehension to share was far stronger than her willingness to open up.
"I was raised in a horde. I don't know anythin' else than life inside one."
"What was it like, wot?" Trilloway asked with a curious expression. "I've walked through a camp after we ran the vermin off. It was a bit of a trampled mess but I'm curious t' hear how vermin live."
Sathe scoffed at the naive fool. "It's disgusting! Scores of sweaty, smelly, murderous beasts who sleuth around half drunk looking fer beasts t' fight. Iv yer not workin' yer fightin', iv yer not fightin' yer drinkin', an' if yer not drinkin' yer fillin' yerself on whatever food isn't bein' eaten. Doesn't matter if it's freshly baked or is covered in a mold, food is food. Of course, if you're part of Zidar's inner circle you don't hav' t' worry about starvin'."
"Sounds like a jolly good time wot!" Trilloway chuckled dryly. "I can see why the lot o' you deserters have taken t' the Friars cookin' like a fish t' the sea! I assume ye were part of that inner circle, bein' a seer and all that."
"Aye," Sathe responded as her throat closed a bit remembering the life of relative luxury she abandoned in the horde. "Somethin' like that. I wasn't an important beast, but I was a seer."
"An' how'd ye become a seer?"
Sathe didn't respond, instead staring at the flame that danced about, looking for something dry to take hold of and destroy. Trilloway glanced between her and the candle before clearing her throat.
"Well, if ye don't wanna share-"
"No," Sathe responded looking up at the hare and rubbing at her ear. "I've just never… spoke t' anyone about it. We weren't s'posed t' tell any beast in the horde, much less a hare from the Long Patrol."
"Aye can see how that's a bit of a conflict o' interests."
"The horde has been destroyed so it doesn't matter anymore. Even if it weren't eradicated, I wouldn't want to return. I just…" Sathe's voice fell as if she was being spied on. "It's not a pleasant memory to relive."
Santain waited patiently for her to continue. Sathe shifted in her seat. She took an anxious breath before she spoke.
"I was brought to a horde as a kit. It wasn't much ov a horde just a gang of just under a score o' beasts—the kind ye hares run off on yer travels. Me mother an' I were starving and they let us leech off o' them. We fought for every scrap of food and moldy bit o' bread they tossed our way, an' they forced us t' do every nasty job they didn't want t' do, lest we be thrown out. Me mother an' I fought each other fer their half-eaten scraps. T'was a game t' the other beasts and she realized the more she humiliated me in front of the vermin the more food she got."
"Vile beasts." Trilloway shuddered.
""I couldn't do a thing; the gang treated me like filth, an' the other dibbuns bullied me relentless-like. Even me own mother took pleasure in seein' me suffer," Sathe continued, her voice wavering as she sniffled. "One day, I managed t' wrench a few berries from her paw an' swallow 'em down before she could do anythin'. She flew into a rage, cursin' an' screamin' at me fer bein' a disgusting, worthless creature, an' she beat me with a bit o' wood. She hit me so hard, I don't remember all she said, but I realized I couldn't live like this fer much longer. I had t' do somethin'."
Sathe found her tongue was dry as a desert. Trilloway watched her without blinking.
"I killed them." Sathe whimpered. "I-I took nightshade and slipped it inta their dinner. They fell asleep and never woke up."
Sathe looked at her paws, they were shaking. Trilloway said nothing. Sathe expected he didn't know what to say. He probably didn't want to insult her but was thinking she was just another filthy murderer.
"I know yer gonna say that what I did was wrong, 'r that I should feel ashamed, but I don't. I hate me mother and the lot o' those vermin, I'm sure they would've slain me if I didn't slay 'em first."
"No." Trilloway blurted before scratching the back of his head. "I wasn't there but yer mother and those vermin were horrid beasts. Ye did what ye had t' survive."
Sathe was relieved and admittedly shocked the hare didn't blast her with platitudes about how horrible she was or why slaying beasts was wrong. It was a relief, although telling the story to him felt like she removed a bandage and doused the wound with salt. She felt fresh tears sliding down her face.
"What's the matter?" Trilloway asked in earnest, grabbing her paw in his own. "There's nothing to be ashamed of when ye protected yerself."
"I know." Sathe sniffed. "But I thought of meself a horrid beast from then on. Roteye found me the next day surrounded by the bodies of the other vermin."
"Roteye?" Trilloway asked, confusion evident on his face.
"She was Zidar's most venerated seer. She found me, an' I begged her t' spare me life an' let me follow her. I told her everythin', grovelin' at that vile rat's feet. She called me a wretched beast, but she let me tag along back t' the camp. She said she'd train me t' be a seer if I did all she asked. I was desperate an' scared, an' I did horrid things t' gain her favor. I should've known she was nothin' but a monster, but I'm no better meself."
"No, yer bloody not!" Trilloway snapped with fiery conviction. "Roteye's not here, an' yer not in the horde. What matters is who y'are right now, an' I reckon that's the beast sittin' here with me, not the one back there, wot."
She stiffened at his words, her claws curling into the fabric of her tunic as if she could grip something solid to keep her steady. "It's not that simple," the ferret muttered, her voice low and rough. "Roteye… I did things. Things that don't just disappear 'cause I'm sittin' here now."
Trilloway leaned in just a bit, lowering his voice further, a rare seriousness coloring his words. "I'm not blind to what you've done, but I'm not blind to what you are now either. You're not Roteye. Not to me. You've already left her behind—you just haven't let yourself see it yet."
She blinked, the tension in her shoulders loosened, but the weight of her past still lingered like a shadow. Her claws released their hold on her tunic, and she shook her head slightly.
"I suppose yer right. The old witch is dead anyway."
"And she can never hurt another beast again," Trilloway added with a reassuring smile. "Between yew and me I think the ol' rat knows yer a far better healer than she ever was, wot!"
"Is that why I caught your eye?" Sathe asked with a growing smile.
"Well… one of many." Trilloway scooted forward with a confident look in his eyes. "I'd say a beast like you could turn heads faster than a gust on a summer's day!"
Sathe blushed. "Watch your tongue hare, we're supposed t' be searching fer ghosts."
"Well now, marm, not that I've been starin', mind you—I've just keepin' an eye out for any dangerous beauties, wot wot." He flashed her a grin, his ears twitching slightly as he leaned in with a mischievous wink. "I've only been able t' find you."
"You're an odd hare, Corporal Trilloway." Sathe laughed.
"As are you Sathe the Seer."
The two said nothing but stared into each other's eyes, their silence doing the talking. Even in the fading candlelight, they could see each other, the candle waned, its flame dancing in her irises reflecting the hare's goofy smile. Sathe could tell they were alone; the threat had passed. The room was empty aside from the two starstruck beasts, and it was the only place she wanted to be. The candle sputtered as Sathe leaned toward the hare. Its flame trembled as it shrank lower with every breath as Trilloway leaned forward in response. The space between them vanished with the candle's final sputter, and as the flame breathed its last, a wisp of smoke curled into the dark, leaving only the warmth they shared in its place.
The second part of the chapter that I had to split. It was a bit of a difficult chapter as I haven't written anything like this before. I'd love to hear any feedback you all have. This chapter also puts the story over 250k words! Thank you for all the support!
As always please let me know what you think and what can be improved upon. Any and all feedback is appreciated!