Through the Never

Whatever the Arrancar Findor threw into the crowd left Ichigo blinded. He was aware though of something cold and metal closing around him and constricting his movement. This was followed by him being pulled off the ground and dragged through the air. It was a brief time after that, as his vision returned, that he confirmed he'd been captured by the two Arrancars using some type of giant metal claw. The Shinigami Substitute strained to power out the metal contraption, but lacked the physical strength to do so. He kept trying, at the same time, while being carried through the blurring desert landscape, he was able to overhear his captors' discussion.

"You only managed to capture one human?" he heard the masked Arrancar say.

"Aeros-sama stopped me from grabbing the others," the bare-chested one, Aibama Redder replied,

"Likely not by chance," Findor retorted.

"Either way, the reports say he's the strongest one," Aibama replied back.

"So, what good is that to us?" the blond one questioned.

"So we take care of him first," the bird-skulled warrior said, "And the other two will be easy. Let's get a bit more distance and we can do it then."

"That is…" Findor said with obvious surprise, "Actually pretty good strategizing, for you. Good work, Redder."

"Shut up!" the bird masked Arrancar replied, recognizing the backhanded compliment.

Ichigo had heard enough. He took hold of loose piece of the cloth cover of Zangetsu.

"BANKAI!" the teen shouted.

There an explosion of reiastu. It blew apart the claw holding Ichigo. The spirit energy than contracted inward leaving him draped in a black coat with red inner lining and wielding a solid black katana. During this release. also noticed an unusual effect of being in Hueco Mundo. With greater amount of reishi particles in the atmosphere of the Hollow's domain, he was able to move more fluidly than ever before, practically like he was flying. Taking advantage of this new freedom of movement, he charged forward and bisected the Hollow carrying the two Arrancars length-wise. They both fell onto the desert sands below. Ichigo then sharply turned away and began speeding back to where he'd been separated from Uryu and Chad.

After backtracking for what he believed was the amount of time and distance he'd been carried by the two Arrancars, he landed and found nothing. The size and position of the crescent moon looked unchanged. There were no tracks or signs of battle, just white sands.

The teen landed, closed his eyed and concentrated on even feeling the slightest trace of his friends. He had never really practiced his skills for sensing reiastu much, but all the trials and battles he'd endured had given him a rough idea of how to do so. Now though, he felt nothing, simply nothing at all.

He flew again as fast as he was able, but not directly towards the ever present crescent moon of Hueco Mundo, but still in a slightly north-western trajectory opposite of the one he'd been taken away. He continued to have no clue precisely how long or far he flew, but his best guess at least twice the amount of time he'd been carried by his captors. He landed and again attempted to feel for any trace at all of his friends. He still felt nothing.

He took to the skies once more. He considered how Antonio had said he should avoid the castle at the center of Hueco Mundo, he flew almost, but not perfectly parallel to the moon. Ichigo landed again and focused as much as he could, feeling for any presence. He tried to sense for not just Uryu or Chad, but any of the Arrancars they fought, the Hollows they rode, anyone. And there was simply no one, not even Findor or Redder were there any longer. There was absolutely nothing at all.

He flew desperately without any thought of direction. Then he began to call out.

"Chad!" he cried.

"Ishida!" he next shouted, this time a smallest quiver of fear slipped through in the teen's voice.

"Anyone?" his voice now shrinking and afraid as he landed again on the sands. His breathing quickened as he scanned the identical-looking sand dunes. Tensa Zangetsu slipped from the grasp of his right hand. He noticed he was holding something in his left. He looked to see it was the orb to open the return Gargaunta out of Hueco Mundo, given to him before he'd come this barren world.

"What am I doing with this?" he asked himself, then with further horror, "What was I about to…"

Before he could finish that question, he motioned toss away the sphere, but he stopped just before it left his hand. The return orb now fell too from his grasp. He then fell to his knees and buried his face in his hands. His breathing grew even more frantic.

"Chad…Ishida," his voice breaking worse on each of his friends' names, "Inoue, forgive-"

He could not finish his plea. He merely sat in the dead silence of the desert, gazing into the unending nothingness.

After what seemed like an eternally long time, so long that he couldn't remember if he shed any tears over his moment of weakness or not, Ichigo calmed and collected himself enough to stand and gather his sword and the sphere. He paused to stare again at orb in his hand. Then he shut his eyes to try make the shame of his cowardice wash through him. With one final deep breath, he told himself he'd let it go and stowed the sphere in robes. He opened his eyes and looked around for his next option.

"Still seems so hopeless, well, the castle under the crescent moon," he said, "Antonio-san warned me not go near it, but what choice do I have?"

There was no one to notice how little conviction was behind what he said, no one there to point out how it was not was courage or resolution the moved Ichigo to go face whatever awaited him in that forbidden castle. Before he could go any further though, distant sound stopped him. He wasn't sure what it was precisely, but he still flew towards it. He again had no idea of distance he traveled to reach the noise, but he landed where he was certain the source would now be headed directly to his location, coming over a high sand dune in front of him. The Substitute Shinigami could now tell it was some type high-pitched shouting or wailing, although possibly not from someone in trouble and in need of help.

Still, the teen readied himself for whatever may emerge. With only the moonlight to illuminate the scene, a silhouette darted over the top of the hill and crashed into the teen and knocked him to the ground. He hadn't had time to identify whatever the thing was, but he could tell it was much smaller than him. The thing let out a confused "Huh?" then quickly scrambled away. As Ichigo got to his feet, he saw the small creature was still nearby, watching him from the shadow of another dune.

"Why did ju get in da way of Nel Tu's tag game?" it said, "Um, thinigami?"

It stepped nearer, revealing itself to be what looked like a female child, appearing to be no older than perhaps four. She was dressed in green rags, with matching shaggy hair. She had a crimson mark across spreading her cheeks and a scar on her forehead that reached between her eyes. She also had a cracked skull atop her head that Ichigo recognized had once been a Hollow mask. The small being tilted her head and stared questioningly at the teen.

"Are you really a Shinigami?" she asked with suddenly much clearer enunciation.

"Uh, sort of," Ichigo said, then snapped at the tiny creature, "And you ran into me!"

The being to him known as Nel shuddered and hid behind a smaller mound of sand,in response the teen yelling at her.

Ichigo composed himself, realizing he was dealing with what at least appeared to be a child and asked less harshly, "Hey, wait, I'm sorry. Who are you?"

"Dat's a silly quethtion. Nel Tu is obviously an Arrancar and part of-" Nel answered, stepping out of her hiding spot. She then paused and looked around worriedly. She dashed up the nearby hill and continued looking around, becoming more and more distraught as Ichigo joined her.

"Where ith Pesthe? An' Dondotsuakka? An' Bawabawa? Nel, Nel Tu's alone." the green-haired Arrancar said as tears welled up in her eyes. She started sobbing loudly, "I lost them! I failed them and I always will!"

Nel flopped to ground and hugged her knees to her chest. The loud outburst of tears gave way to more somber crying that Ichigo found impossible to listen without feeling the need to at least try and comfort the little Arrancar

"Hey," he said, sitting down and putting an arm around her, "I lost my friends, too. But if, if you haven't given up, you, you haven't failed them, not really."

Nel stopped crying when she noticed the smallest tremble in Ichigo's voice with what he said. She stared at him once more. She looked as if there was something she was puzzling over. Unexpectedly, she hugged the confused teen, then pulled away. From his angle, he didn't see her eyes widening in alarm.

"Are you really a Shinigami?" she asked again with a curled finger held to her lips in thought, "What are you?"

"Like I said, not exactly," he said, "I'm Kurosaki Ichigo, Substitute Shinigami from Karakura Town."

"Where's dat?" Nel asked, "In de Soul Society."

"No," he answered, "It's in the human world."

"In, in the Living world?" she responded with a surprise that only further confused Ichigo, "What you doing in Heuco Mundo?"

"Aizen, a Captain who betrayed the Soul Society, took one of my friends," he said. As he spoke, Nel noticed his voice grew distant and gaze turned to the desert's horizon, "Someone I promised I would

and protect, and…"

Ichigo went silent briefly, touching the orb through his robes, "And I wasn't able to. I need to get her back. I have to bring her home, to her friends."

There was another pause at Ichigo having excluded himself from that group. Nel then next asked hesitantly, "You, you weren't going to Las Noches, the Castle under the Crescent Moon, were you?"

"Well, the person who got me to Hueco Mundo said I should stay away from it, but before I was separated from my other friends too, we had no clue where to start looking," the teen said with an exhale that signaled how hopeless the situation felt to him.

"But, you can't go there! You mustn't!" the small Arrancar insisted. Ichigo stared now towards the crescent moon. Between Antonio's warnings, what Findor said about humans not being welcome there, and now Nel's urging, even the frequently impatient, and occasionally incurious teen was starting to wonder just who or what everyone was so eager for him to not meet in the castle. Before he could ask, Nel pointed to a north-eastern direction, away from to the western lying moon "Only, only death waits for you there. Aizen-sama and jour friends won't be dere. Try dat way."

"What's that way?" the boy asked.

"Dere some ruins," Nel replied, "I dink, dink dat's where I last saw my friends. You can strat lookin' for jour dere. Good luck Istugo."

The tiny Arrancar started walking away. Ichigo caught up to her.

"Wait, where are you going?" he said, stopping her, "It's Nel, right?"

"Huh?" she said, now the confused one, "Yes, I'm weaving now."

"Why? Aren't you coming with me?" the teen asked, "You said you might have seen your friends last at those ruins. You need to find them too, don't you?"

"Huh?" tiny being asked, "You. you'd want me, with you?"

"Of course, why would you not think that?" he replied, "Is it because I'm a Shinigami and you're an Arrancar?"

"Huh?" she repeated, "Well, yes dere's dat. But it's also because I'm well, I'm Nel."

"And, so what?" asked a confused.

"You don't know about what I've done?" she said with a seriousness that did to fit for the small child-like being, "You could not understand what that means."

Ichigo was briefly thrown off by the gravity in her words. He recalled how he failed to stop Yammy from hurting Chad and Orihime. How he then pushed them away because of his Hollow. How he couldn't to stop Aizen from taking Orihime, and then how he almost tried to run away from it all just moments ago.

"It, it doesn't matter what you've done," he said slowly, as if trying to convince himself of his own words, "It only matters what you are going to do now. Even if you can't make things right."

Nel again stared at the boy. His face was downcast, his fists clenched and shaking, and his breathes steadily growing heavier and less controlled.

"You really believe that," she said, "You think that's possible?"

"I…" he replied, taking time to answer, "I have to."

Nel hugged the teen once more. He soon accepted the embrace, gently patting her top the skull mask.

"Thank you Nel," he said softly. The green-haired child then pointed in what appeared to be north-western direction.

"Can we go dat way first?" she asked, "Getting to de ruins takes about dree days. Dere's something I need to bring with us before we travel dere."

"Sure," Ichigo replied. The tiny Arrancar raised her arms in expectation. It took a moment to dawn on the teen, "You want me to carry you?"

"Of course, jou're bigger and faster dan Nel. It only makes sense, unless…" she said, then began crying loudly again, "Unless zu were lying and don't really want Nel wid jou like everyone else!"

She continued bawling until the Substitute Shinigami scooped her up into his arms.

"Okay, enough already," he replied as he lifted her. He noticed she had ceased bawling and was now cuddling in his grasp. He said nothing, but with desperately she was now clinging to him, Ichigo wondered if little outburst was more than some ploy to get her way.

Like before, he was unsure how long it took to reach their destination, having long lost any sense of time or direction in the endless desert. Eventually the child told him they had arrived with an excited "dere!"

"Dis is Nel's house," she said hopping out Ichigo's arms as they landed, "Pwease come in."

House was a liberal description of Nel's shelter. It was just two crumbling walls. The smaller blocked the view of the moon. A longer one ran perpendicular to it. In the corner they formed was a bed of rags. Next to that was a fire pit, with two branches that suspended a tiny black cauldron above an extinguished fire. Ichigo noted the two branches were not wood, but some type of crystal, covered in ash from previous fires. As he glanced around, something occurred to him, although he only asked the question to himself rather than aloud.

"Wait," he thought, "If she lives here but has her own companions, why does this place have only one bed? How long have they been missing?"

Nel retrieved the pot and returned to Ichigo, who put the question aside for the time being when the tiny Arrancar announced, "Okay, let's go!"

"Yeah, sure," he replied, re-sealing his Bankai and replacing Zangetsu over his shoulder. He then lifted the surprised Nel into a piggyback ride position, "Ready?"

Nel giggled happily, "Take off, horsey!"

Ichigo leapt through the air carrying the child-like being. He briefly pondered to what his Hollow would think of him carrying around a child calling him "horsey" after its big "King and his Horse" speech. That consideration quickly gave way to an unexpected nostalgia. Though it really only been a few months, and Nel was much smaller and lighter than Rukia, he found himself missing those simpler days of carrying her on his back as he ran around Karakura town. He reflected on too how that time led to him growing closer to his friends, though he thought also of how he had pushed them away, Chad and Uryu and…

"Inoue,'' he whispered to himself. His noticed then his right hand trembling as he clutched at the orb within his robes. He tore it away with his other hand and tried to force it to stop shaking.

"I didn't mean to," he told himself, "I mean, I wouldn't have-"

A tiny arm hugging around his neck immediately dispelled his growing shame and despair.

"Are you worried about your friends, Ichigo?" Nel said softly, "You'll find them."

"Thank you Nel," he said and gently squeeze her arm in return. Then a new question occurred to him, "Say, what happened to your lisp?"

"What wisp?" Nel asked back.

"Uh, never mind," he replied, "Hold on, I'm going speed up some."

The teen and the Arrancar vanished with Ichigo's Shun'Po and the only trace left was a few shattered footprints in the sands.

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In a tower in eastern Hueco Mundo, far from Ichigo or any of his allies, Orihime suddenly shot upright in the bed she'd been moved to. She awoke terror-stricken, chaotically groping around for a few moments until she gradually remembered where she was and what had happened to her. She had been forced to follow the Arrancars to the Hollow's world as Aizen's prisoner. And then Ulquiorra told her…

"No! Don't think about it," she told herself to try to stop the encroaching horror that crept over her as she fought not repeat the pale Arrancar's last words to her before she had blacked out, "Don't think about, Don't…huh?"

She realized there was someone's arms around her, cradling and rocking back and forth gently and stroking her hair.

"You're okay Orihime," whoever it was said, sounding more afraid than the chestnut-haired girl herself had been, "You, you have to be okay."

"Menoly?" the teen said, determining the identity of the person holding her.

"You have to be okay," the blond Arrancar repeated. Orihime hugged back on the arm around her and swayed for a moment in the frightened girl's embrace. She then heard others speaking at the foot of the bed.

"I've awakened her," a soft voice said. Orihime looked up to see it was the partially skull-masked Arrancar in green she'd met before, Roka, talking, "She should be fine now."

"What happened to her?" another voice said. The young girl froze. She couldn't look towards the source, but she knew the one speaking was Ulquiorra, "Why did she lose consciousness?"

"Nothing medically is wrong with her," Roka answered, "It appears something caused her a such a degree of emotional distress, her body shut down. In the Human world, such episodes are referred to as a panic or anxiety attack."

"I see," the bone-white Espada the human girl couldn't bring herself to look at yet replied, "Will she do this again? Can anything be done to avoid further occurrences?"

Roka looked toward her. Orihime wasn't able decipher the emotion behind strange Arrancar's aside glance.

"It could be an isolated incident," she said, "I can check on her periodically."

"Then, perhaps, there is no need to report this to Aizen-sama," Ulquiorra said.

"Uh, well-" the meek medic could only reply nervously.

"You agree correct, Roka?" he cut her off from saying more. If one listened closely, it could sound as if the white-skinned Arrancar was urging, almost pressuring the meek medic to comply

"I…" Roka became noticeably nervious and unsure how to answer.

Menoly released Orihime and stood upright. The defiance in her stance surprised the two Arrancars and Orihime.

"You think he won't find out?" she said, "You think doesn't already know? He always knows. He…"

The blond Arrancar went silent, dropped her head and shut her eyes. Orihime briefly stared at her, then finally looked to the pale Espada. She had expected to hate him. That when she next laid eyes om him, she would be disgusted or horrified of the uncaring, emotionless monster.

But that was not what she felt. To see him now, trying to not openly show it, but still worried over Aizen's reaction, she was left unsure how to feel about him now.

"I will return to Szayel-sama's labs," dark-haired female Arrancar suddenly stated, possibly thankful for the interruption so she could make an exit, "As mentioned, I will occasionally check on you as my duties allow, Inoue-san."

Orihime watched the medic leave, still unsure of her. Her final words didn't exactly contain warmth, but nor did they hold a detached apathy, as if taking care of the human girl was some new burden forced upon her. It made her remember how difficult it was to pick up on the small hints of emotion in the things Ulquiorra said and did when she first came to Hueco Mundo.

She then looked and to Menoly, who still had her head bowed, but she now was peeking around.

"Menoly?" asked at last, confused at why the blond Arrancar had withdrawn.

"He's, he's gone?" she asked.

"Ulquiorra?" Orihime replied, and discovered he had also abruptly exited while she checked on the spikey-haired Arrancar.

Menoly let a gasp of relief and breathed deeply for a bit, a one hand pressed to her chest. She then sat beside Orihime on the bed. The teen noticed she was trembling again.

"I, I was sure I'd said too much," the shaking blonde said, then turned to the teen, "Or, Orihime, someone will probably be here soon with some grisly wound or something. You'll need to fix it with your powers."

"I understand," the human girl replied, accepting this assignment

"Un, until they do," the blond Arrancar was blushing now, "May, may I hold you again?"

Orihime was taken aback by the intimacy of her request.

"Please," Menoly said, her voice now sounding near tears, "We don't have to do anything more. I, I just want to hold you until, until..."

"Sssh, it's okay. You don't have to say anymore," Orihime said, stoking her arm, "Please, come closer,"

Menoly climbed into the bed next her and pulled the human girl close, laying her head upon her breast. The blond Arrancar then softly rocked the human girl in her arms again.

As she laid there in the Arrancar's embrace, Orihime thought back on what Menoly had told her about Halibel's fortress and Szayel's labs, and how scared she looked just now. The young girl hugged her as much she was able.

Next her mind wandered to something that had happened to her before she passed out.

She was in her chamber. Ulquiorra had just told her something so horrifying and unthinkable to her, that it made the world spin around her.

"But don't think about that now," Orihime repeated to herself,

Each time she thought of a person she knew, a person she loved, a dagger cut through the world's spin and was driven into her. When she got to Rukia though, the world seized its spinning. Then another person began to surface in her mind. Someone she thoughtshe could never betray…

"Hey Orihime, it's alright," Menoly said, bringing the chestnut-haired girl back to the current moment, The blond Arrancar stroked her hair once more, "You're going to be okay, please. You're safe."

Orihime realized she had been tensing up and was clutching at the bedsheet. She softly exhaled and relaxed.

She skipped forward in mind to the last instant she could recall. She had fallen to the floor and darkness was swallowing the world, but it was she saw she could never have expected. There was a look on Ulquiorra's face, not a guarded one she had to see through. Could it have genuine expression of worry, of concern, for her?

What could that mean about the pale Arrancar, she wondered.

"Did that even really happen?" Orihime sleepily murmured as she drifted off in Menoly's arms.

The blond Arrancar again stroked the sleeping girl's hair.

"You're safe, for now," blond Arrancar said, then cupped her hand over her mouth to try muffle her tears.

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An eager Lilynette pulled a groggy Starrk through yj hallways.

"C'mon Starrk," she urged, "We gotta find Orihime!"

"You know Lil', you don't need me to talk to Ulquiorra," he said, slowly waking up, "He's not like Yammy or that thing in the sewers. He won't bite."

"Oh, so you don't care if she's okay?" Lilynete said shatply.

Starrk sighed,

"That's not what I said," he replied crossly, "Fine, let's go find-"

As he spoke, Ulquiorra charged past the two. Starrk attempted to greet him, but the pale Arrancar did not even slow down to acknowledge them. Starrk slumped against the wall, depressed.

"Am I that bad at this that he wouldn't even say anything to me?" the brown-haired Arrancar moped to himself.

Lilynette stared briefly where the bone-white Espada had passed.

"I don't think that's it Starrk," she said after a moment, "He seemed, I dunno, scared somehow."

"Him? Of what?" he asked.

Neither of them said further and resumed their search.