Warning: We have our first spicy scene…but it's not what you think ;)

All part of the slow burn.

Please leave a comment/review if you're enjoying it so far! I'd appreciate it.

—-

Chapter 7:

"I must admire your decision to create a College. By far the best choice you've made as Herald currently," Solas spoke as he joined her for their evening walk.

Lara smirked. "Is that also code for my only best choice?"

Solas smiled. "You've been given an exceptionally difficult position. Especially for someone as free-spirited and rebellious as yourself. No one would have expected you to handle it well."

"Your vote of confidence thrills me," Lara crossed her arms as they started walking.

"If you would let me finish, I was going to conclude that despite this, you have handled it in your own way and have seen sense. You simply needed time to adapt and learn for yourself. I am proud of who you've become," Solas still smiled.

"Are you going soft on me?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

Solas let out a small laugh. "No, but I do believe you need the compliment from time to time. You can be very hard on yourself."

"How is it going with the mages?" Lara asked, avoiding the personal subject.

Cullen had been true to his word and asked his men to retreat. Lara was informed by Leliana that he was met with hostility but they respected his order nonetheless. The College was formed with Fiona teaching them lessons about magic as well as practicing sessions. Solas volunteered to teach, which surprised Lara but also didn't. He assured her that he would still be her mentor and their walks would not be compromised. Vivienne, on the other hand, was not pleased with her decision and reminded her that any abominations would be dealt with in the appropriate manner.

"Exceptionally well. The mages seem to be in better spirits with their freedom and are enjoying their education. A place where they are welcome to be who they are. All thanks to you. You are making a difference for your people," Solas's tone was warm.

—-

Lara returned to Haven exhausted after a long few weeks of tying up some loose ends and ensuring that support for the Inquisition was upheld. She had cleared the last of the apostates and templars fighting so refugees were guaranteed safety. Leliana had been reporting to her the progress the mages were making and the templars seemed to be less angry that mages were freely learning and practicing magic. The mages needed their mana to be high and their expertise sharp if they were to close the Breach.

She was heading up to the War Room but stopped when hearing Leliana's voice in a tent opposite the Chantry building.

"Did he think we wouldn't notice? He killed Faria. One of my best agents. He knows where the others are," Leliana bowed her head and sighed. "You know what to do. Make it clean. Painless if you can."

"Does he really need to die? You'd kill him just like that?" Lara interrupted.

"Herald. You find fault with my decision?" Leliana turned to her.

"The Inquisition? Solving their problems with murder? Hardly a good look," Lara shrugged.

Leliana scoffed. "What would you suggest then? Leave him be? His betrayal has put our agents in danger. I will condemn him to save others. It must be done."

"You're not even going to think about other options? Two wrongs don't make a right."

"You feel very strongly about this," Leliana walked away from her. She let out a sigh. "Very well. I will think of another way to deal with this," She turned to face the scout. "Apprehend him. But see that he lives." The scout bowed and left.

"Happy now?" She turned to Lara.

"That wasn't so hard now, was it?" She smiled at her.

"We'll see. Now what would make me happy in return is if you make amends with our Commander. Last you two spoke, you used magic against him," Leliana grabbed some scrolls and made her way past Lara, smirking at her.

Shit…

—-

Lara dared a look at her appearance after taking a warm bath the elf had set up for her by the fireplace. Slowly, she was coming back to life again. Her skin regained color, she tolerated some small-ish meals, and practicing her magic helped her confidence. Lessons with Solas helped ease the nightmares which allowed Lara to get some sleep back. She loosely twisted her hair in a braid, letting some stray pieces fall. She wore a nicely fitted but slightly revealing top that resembled a corset without all the complications, according to Dorian. He had picked it out just for her. She wore her usual tight trousers and boots and set off into the town of Haven.

This village and her cabin were growing on her. The townspeople no longer feared her and spoke to her often. She got to know them a little better and while it still wasn't home, it was safe and that was good enough for her. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, her nerves kicking in. She moaned under her breath for feeling like this. This is exactly why she avoided any intimacy with men. It made her too nervous and she felt so restricted at the thought of being tied to a person. With the Commander, it was different. He was different.

Varric assured her that he would usually be down training with the recruits if she needed to find him. She left it for too long between them. The tension between them grew especially in the War Room. So much so that even Leliana noticed. He hardly spoke to her and made sure to keep his distance from her. He no longer reached for her like he did. Leliana took her advice so it was only fair she took hers. She was remembering Varric's words as she made her way down to the double doors.

"Don't forget to ask him about his templar vows, Lucky," Varric winked.

"Why would I ask that?" Lara looked at him confused.

"Just for conversation. Ask him about the celibacy ones," He looked smug.

Templars take vows of celibacy? That would mean Cullen is celibate. No that can't be…

Lara had no idea if that were true. She never cared for Templars and what they did. They were the enemy, the oppressors. They lived off of lyrium. They can take away magic. Any other details about their lives did not matter to Lara at that point. Thinking about Cullen and intimacy brought a heat to her body and cheeks that she did not welcome.

There he stood, watching the recruits practice while talking to a scout. Letting out a long sigh, she fixed her posture and made her way over to him. Lara was uncertain of how this conversation would go or how he would react with her being close to him. They needed to work together or that's what Lara told herself. She was closing the distance between them; she could almost smell the elderflower already. She made sure to make noise with her boots so he could hear her. He turned instantly and stiffened but didn't move away despite her being close.

"H-hi…Herald, I mean…" He brought his hand up to the back of his neck. He caught sight of her outfit. Of her skin. He was staring. He cleared his throat.

"Was there…Was there something you needed me to report?" He looked back up at her eyes.

He's nervous too. Dorian's outfit choice worked. Fucker.

"No. If I needed a report, I'd ask Leliana. I wanted to talk to you," Lara spoke.

"Oh. Is something the matter?" He asked.

"Are you really going to pretend that what happened last we spoke didn't happen?" Lara looked confused.

Cullen let out a sigh and looked towards the recruits. "No. I should apologize. I was out of line. That wasn't a decision you would have made and I did it without your permission."

"Well, if we're apologizing, then I should as well. Magic isn't a weapon, it's a gift. Whether or not you and your Templar buddies agree with that," Lara gave him a small glare as Cullen turned his head to her.

"I used it as a weapon," She continued. "That was unfair and, if anything, it was an abuse of power. It won't happen again."

"Appreciated," Cullen gave her a warm look that melted her on the spot. She looked away quickly, hoping it would go away.

"So, uh, you were in a Circle. You're from the Circle in Ostwick?" He asked, shuffling his feet.

Lara turned her head back towards him. "Would you prefer I stay locked away, like a good mage?" She spat the words out.

Cullen's eyes widened and he froze.

"I didn't - I mean. No. I only meant to make conversation. Maker's breath…." He muttered, his hand behind his neck again.

"Yes, Ostwick. To answer your question," Lara looked away from him.

Control yourself, Lara. Stop making him an enemy.

"Since we're making conversation, I'd like to know more about the Templars."

"If you're looking for information on what the Order is doing, I'm afraid I can't tell you more than you already know. Anything else, I can answer," He calmed down.

He doesn't know about the Order? Is he really not bound by them?

"Okay. Why did you join the Order?" She asked.

"I could think of no better calling than protecting those in need. I used to beg the Templars to teach me. At first, they humored me. I must have shown promise somewhere. The knight-captain spoke to my parents and they agreed to send me to training. I was thirteen when I left home," He answered.

Lara's eyes widened. Thirteen? He was just a boy…

"You were so young," She whispered, shocked that they would take him in at that age.

"I wasn't the youngest there. Some children are promised at infancy. I didn't have full responsibility until I was 18. The Order ensures you are educated and trained first."

"How kind of them," Lara said bitterly.

Cullen let out a smile. Their eyes locked and Lara felt her heart flutter. Despite his tired appearance, his smile, the way his scar on his upper lip moved, and his warm honey eyes caused a stir inside her. This was dangerous. She tore her eyes away.

"What about your family? You must've missed them," She changed the subject.

"Of course. I wasn't alone in that sentiment. We made sure we looked out for one another," Cullen answered, still looking at her.

"So we mages are forced to spend our days with Templars and yet you never spoke with us," It wasn't a question, but an accusation.

"One that gets mistaken for coldness, I'm sure. We were expected to keep a distance. If a mage is possessed or uses blood magic, we have to act quickly. Your judgment cannot be clouded," Cullen answered carefully, almost as if he were unsure of her response.

"I must say, ignoring one another does nothing to foster an understanding," He continued.

Lara remained quiet. She didn't know how to respond to that. The Order teaches them to ignore mages. That's where the animosity begins.

He's just trying to be nice. To win my side. Time to use Varric's approach I guess.

"Do templars take vows?" She looked over to him, his eyes already on her. "You know, 'I swear to the Maker to watch over all the mages and kill them' - that sort of thing?" She asked.

Cullen let out a nervous laugh, his hand behind his neck again. Lara was starting to realize it was a nervous tick of his.

"Not quite like that, no. There's a vigil first. You're meant to be at peace, but really, your whole life is about to change. You give yourself to a life of service. That's when you're given a philter. Your first draught of lyrium and its power. As Templars, we're not to seek wealth or acknowledgement. Our lives belong to the Maker and the path we have chosen," He answered.

Lara shuddered at the thought of lyrium. Visions of the future arose, mainly Cullen with lyrium protruding out of his body. She instantly pushed that away. Now was not the time.

"Service and sacrifice. Got it. Are Templars expected to give up…physical temptations?" Lara asked, trying to not let the heat in her cheeks show. This was new to her.

Cullen's eyes widened. "Physical?" He cleared his throat. "Why would you…"

"Just a rumor I heard," Lara shrugged.

"That's not expected. Templars can marry although there are rules around that. The Order has to grant permission. Some may choose to give that up to show their devotion but it's not required," He answered, looking away. The nervousness coming back on his face.

"Have you?" The words flew out of her mouth before she could stop it. Her heart hammered.

Fuck…please don't answer…

"Me?" His voice cracked. "I…um, I…no. I've taken no such vows," Lara could see the deep blush reaching his cheeks. She didn't think the Commander was capable of blushing.

So he's not celibate. I'm going to kill that dwarf. He set me up.

"Maker's Breath - can we talk about something else? Where did you even hear that rumor?" He asked, bewildered.

"Varric…" Lara answered, taking a deep breath wishing the ground would swallow her whole. Why did she even let him convince her to ask this?

"The dwarf. Of course…" Cullen muttered, narrowing his eyes.

"Do you see all mages as a threat? Be honest with me," Lara turned to face him, changing the subject.

Cullen let out a sigh. "Without going too much into my past, I have seen the suffering that magic can inflict. I have gone through it myself. I've treated mages with distrust because of it. At times without cause. It was unworthy of me. I am trying not to do that here as best as I can," He answered.

He's gone through it himself? What does he mean…

Lara wasn't going to ask. She didn't want anyone going through her past so she wasn't going to ask about his.

"That explains why you have issues with the mages running around practicing magic freely," Lara continued.

"It is my job to safeguard the people here. Believe it or not, that includes the mages as well. They are also at risk. I put some practices in place should anything go wrong. Please do not take offense."

Lara bit her tongue. He still did it behind her back even if he did keep his word and made his men retreat. He took the brunt of their disapproval for her. She tried to reason that he was only doing his job and what made him feel safe. As long as the mages were allowed to practice and enjoy their freedom, then she couldn't really fight with him.

"None taken. You kept your word. I appreciate that," Lara spoke, trying to settle her annoyance.

The mages trust would have to be earned and Lara would have to accept it.

Cullen looked at her and their eyes locked. Immediately, Lara felt the flutters, her heart pounding in her ears. All it took was one look from him and she felt her body heat. No man should be able to do that. No man had ever done that to her before. Yet here she was, melting under her Commander's gaze.

"I - uh, I…" He started, looking as nervous as she felt. "There's so much to do," He muttered while looking away.

Lara felt the sting as he looked away from her. She wanted him to stop looking at her yet internally cursed herself for also wanting him to look at her like that.

A scout soon approached.

"Commander. Sir Rylen has a report for you regarding the supplies," He spoke handing Cullen the report.

"As I was saying," He smiled at her, taking a few steps closer to her. Lara couldn't take being under his gaze and him being so close at the same time.

She nodded at him and abruptly made her way towards the double doors, away from him. She had made conversation with him now so everyone could get off her back about making amends.

—-

"You're a little shit, you know that, right?" Lara glared at the dwarf as she sat down at the table in the tavern later that evening.

"Me? What did I do?" The dwarf feigned innocence.

"You set me up! You knew that they don't take vows of celibacy and you made me ask him anyway!" Lara whisper-shouted at him.

Varric spat out his drink, laughing. "You actually asked him that? No way! And I missed it?"

"What did we miss?" Dorian spoke as he reached the table.

"She took my advice and asked Curly if he's taken a vow of celibacy!" Varric exclaimed, still amused.

"Who is Curly?" Dorian raised an eyebrow.

"The dashing Commander…" Lara imitated him while taking a swig of wine.

"Oh my! You asked him whilst wearing that top I chose for you? How risque," Dorian chuckled.

"Well? What's the verdict? Is he celibate?" He continued.

Lara let out a groan and placed her head on the table, welcoming the cool wood.

"I can't tell if that's a yes or a no my dear," Dorian wasn't going to let it go.

Lara lifted up her head and gave Varric a glare.

"No. He's taken no such vows," She answered regrettably.

"A dashing and dirty Commander. I approve," Dorian took a sip from his wine.

"Fuck me…please stop," Lara covered her face with her hands. She was too sober for this conversation.

"Careful. He hasn't taken any vows. He just might," Dorian smirked and Varric let out a laugh.

Lara shot him a glare next.

"What I would've given to see his reaction to that question…" Varric took a gulp of his drink.

Lara just looked into her glass of wine. She felt incredibly stupid for even asking him that question. For being so naive. Now she knew information about him that she didn't want to know. Information that would make her mind wander to places she didn't even know why. What did it matter?

"Listen, Lucky. I gave you a conversation starter. An ice breaker if you will. You two haven't exactly gotten off on the best foot. You'll be thanking me later," The dwarf continued.

Blackwall followed by Iron Bull announced their arrival. Lara waved Sera over when she spotted her entering the tavern. Her and Bull hit it off with the two of them having a drinking competition and Sera ending up underneath the table. She somehow was still conscious and still drinking. Varric enjoyed her company and thought she was a wonderful addition to all the serious shit going on.

Lara welcomed that giddy feeling in her body again, washing away all the worries and the doubts and enjoying good company. A moment where she can be her sassy and sarcastic self with no inhibitions. Where the weight melted off her shoulders. She wasn't the Herald, she was just Lara. For the first time, she wasn't alone in her life. It was a bittersweet feeling. She found herself looking forward to the tavern nights.

—-

Lara continued giggling with Dorian by her side. He agreed to escort her back to her cabin in one safe piece. He worried she may go wandering off somewhere. A dusting of snow was falling and covering the ground in a small layer. She opened her arms and twirled around feeling the snow on her skin. A welcome feeling from the heat in the tavern.

"Oh how I do love this free side of you. If only she were out more often," Dorian called after her.

He wasn't sober himself but Lara appreciated the bodyguard.

She let out a laugh and continued twirling until she collided with something hard. Strong arms wrapped around her, catching her, saving her. She welcomed the strong embrace and let out another laugh.

"Dorian I don't need a savior…" Her words caught off and her eyes widened, horrified. Her body stiffened. Honey eyes locked in with emerald ones. Their breath visible in the snowy air, intertwining. Their bodies close, hers held to his. Their faces inches apart, giving her a clear view of the outline of his scar, the stubble of his beard, the shape of his lips.

"Herald. I - I…" He stammered, not breaking eye contact.

Too close. Too close. Move away!

In an instant, she stood up and pushed herself away from him. He let go of her, his warmth gone instantly. Her body screaming to revel in it again but her mind forbidding it. Uncertainty clear in his expression, a flash of hurt as she retracted from him.

"Commander. Apologies for our drunken charades. We didn't realize anyone would be out at this time," Dorian spoke, now by her side. Lara was annoyed that he let her stay in his arms. He should've caught her instead.

"Not to trouble yourself. My men and I were simply doing our nightly rounds," Cullen answered, resting his hand on his sword.

"Would you, um - would you like me to escort you to your quarters, Herald?" Cullen was now speaking to her.

She couldn't erase the feel of his arms around her. "No. Dorian is taking care of that, thank you," She said abruptly and immediately regretted the words as her body was screaming yes.

"As you wish. I wish you both a good night," He bowed his head slightly and departed, leaving Dorian and Lara standing there in silence.

"I'm not even going to ask why you declined his offer. You really know how to keep a man at arms length," Dorian commented after he was out of sight.

Lara ignored him and walked towards her cabin. That crash was a wake up call and any trace of alcohol left her body. Her senses heightened, her emotions and thoughts running haywire. She hugged Dorian goodnight when they reached her cabin and once she closed the door, she sank down to the floor. She hated that he had such an effect on her. She was proud that she was never close to a man before, she didn't need one.

After feeling sorry for herself, she picked herself up and changed into her sleeping attire and prepared for bed. She needed to sleep this off to stop the moment replaying in her head. Each point of contact between them seemed to always get them closer and closer. That conversation today brought them too close. It's not what Lara wanted. She needed to keep him at arms length as Dorian put it. There couldn't be a future between them especially knowing how he would end up. She couldn't allow that for him. She couldn't allow her heart to be broken.

Getting into bed, she turned off her lamp and settled in, letting sleep take over her body.

—-

Oakmoss and elderflower became familiar scents to her. It was a fragrance she never smelled on anyone, let alone a man. Immediately it reminded her of him. The Commander. Cullen. That very scent engulfed her, enveloped her. When she was too close to him, it intoxicated her.

His calloused hands from years of serving as a Templar traced her skin, leaving goosebumps in their path. His touch, though gentle, shot deep into her core. It was as if he was setting her body on fire with his touch. She lay there naked, her breathing ragged, anticipating his next move, his next touch. He lay beside her shirtless, admiring her, yet also making her feel vulnerable.

"Look at me," He whispered. Her eyes fluttered open to meet his gaze.

No one had made her feel this vulnerable. So open. So exposed. Yet he was gentle with her. She melted under his honey eyes, which were now darkened with want. She felt as if she would combust under his gaze alone. The emotions it stirred up in her were too much.

His hand trailed downwards, stroking the skin just before her legs. His fingers glided from hip bone to hip bone. It was delicious torture. He was taking his time with her. Eventually, his fingers inched down, reaching in between her legs. She let out a gasp, her back arching slightly, as he swiped between her folds, her wetness betraying any chance of her hiding her arousal.

"How wet you are for me. How long I've desired to do this," His voice was deeper. Huskier.

Lara couldn't find the words to respond. The sensations overtook her as he continued sliding his fingers up and down her core, as if remembering the feel of her. Suddenly, Lara felt his finger enter her followed by a second, stretching her. It was too much. She let out a moan as if somehow it would make the sensation lessen. He continued to work her, his fingers sweeping inside her expertly. No man should be this good. An unfamiliar feeling welled up inside her. Pressure was building in her body, near her core. He was taking her higher and higher almost as if reaching her breaking point. Moans escaped her uncontrollably, her body trembling. Then it all stopped. His fingers were gone, her body aching at their removal. Her eyes shot open, unsure of what happened.

"Not yet, my love. I want to enjoy you," He whispered, smiling at her reaction.

Did that mean she was close? She was going to release? Is that what the pressure was? This was all so new to her and she felt incompetent. Cullen didn't know he was wasting his time with a virgin. He was on top of her, his arms wrapped around her. Lara soaked in the warmth and the feel of his strong arms. Her body melted in his hold and she never wanted to leave. His lips on hers, tongue dancing with hers eagerly as if he couldn't get enough of her. She ran her hand through his blond unruly hair, holding him there, not wanting him to stop. Desire building in her body again.

He broke the kiss and stared straight into her eyes. The intense gaze of his dark honey hues causing her stomach to do flips and the heat increasing between her legs.

"Ready for me?" He asked, his voice still husky.

Before Lara could answer, in one swift movement, he was inside of her. The thrust stretched her to accommodate him and she felt a burst of pleasure throughout her body…

—-

Lara gasped out loud at the sensation, her hands gripping the sheets. She felt around her bed only to find no one. She sat up, her sleep attire clinging to her damp skin. Looking around, her eyes soon recognised her cabin lit up by the moonlight. She tried to catch her breath.

Closing her eyes, she reached down between her legs only to be met with wetness, her undergarments soaked.

Did I seriously just have a fucking wet dream about Cullen…

"Fuck…" She groaned and threw her face into the pillow, letting out another but louder frustrated groan.

She was angry at herself. Why now? She had never bothered with dating before. Settling down wasn't for her and she was a master at being alone, never desiring a man. Until she met Cullen; it was as if he challenged that barrier and here she was exposed and desiring him. It made her want to push him away even more so she could fortify that barrier.

Maybe because you only ever met boys. You never met a real man until now…

"Shut the fuck up…" She whispered aloud to her brain. She rolled over staring at the ceiling, her limbs spread across the bed. It was going to be a long night.