August 11, 1979
She caught him getting ready to leave Alice's flat, not even a week later.
"I can't do this anymore." She said grabbing James by the arm. "Whatever stupid, noble excuse he keeps telling himself can go right up his arse."
James made to speak, but Calandra shook her head.
"I can't do this anymore, James. I know he's not ok. He's been volunteering for every single assignment. He's been throwing himself at the dangerous ones like they're just April Fool's pranks. Frank told me."
He took in her face. The shadows under her eyes and the sharpness of her cheekbones and jawline. She knew it was obvious she hadn't been sleeping or eating well. He sighed.
"I wasn't on board with it, you know." James took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I was against him leaving. I told him off about it. We had a huge row."
She watched James rub his eyes wearily.
"Why did he do it?" she asked.
James shook his head. "Apparently, some Death Eaters approached him on behalf of his brother, extending an invitation to join the ranks. He said no, of course."
"Told them to get bent, more like." Calandra muttered.
"Yeah, he did." James smiled, then his face grew serious. "Then they mentioned you; threatened you. Told him they knew what his weakness was, and Voldemort wasn't afraid to bring him to his knees."
James sighed and rubbed his glasses on his shirt. "He didn't want anything to happen to you, and bloody idiot that he is, decided the best way to keep you safe was to cut ties with you. That way they couldn't use you against him."
Calandra erupted.
"Of all the stupid…noble...I will kill him for this!"
She reached her hand out.
"Give me the key." She said.
James rolled his eyes and put his glasses back on. "I'm not getting hexed for you, White."
"Hand it over, Potter, or you'll get worse than a hex." She demanded.
"Merlin, Cals!" James expounded. "It's not even the same flat!"
"So, tell me where it is and hand over that key." She snarked.
"You honestly think I'm going to go against his wishes?" He gave her a withering look, but she saw through it.
Calandra pulled her wand out of her hair and trained it on him.
"If he's already warded it against me, I promise I won't go." She said evenly. "If it isn't, hand over that key and give me an address."
James grinned at her and dug in his pocket. He took out a jelly slug and she saw a scrap of paper flutter to the floor.
"I'm not saying anything." He said popping the sweet in his mouth.
She picked up the paper and saw an address written on it.
"The key." She repeated.
He raised an eyebrow at her and glanced toward his left pocket.
She put a cushioning charm on him without saying a word, and then said "Petrificus Totalus" right before he said "Expelliarmus."
Her wand flew out of her hand, but not before the jet of light flew out of it. It hit him in the chest, and he fell. She walked over to him and dug the key out of his pocket, then retrieved her wand. She waved it over him, casting the counter to the spell, and helped him to his feet.
"He made you promise not to give me the key didn't he?" She asked.
He smiled. "I might have made a certain vow along the lines of not giving you the key or telling you his address."
She rolled her eyes.
"As soon as you mentioned the wards, I knew you'd figure it out."
"Yeah, well, not all of us are currently acting like idiots. Some of us use our brains." She said.
"Seriously, though, Cals." James put a hand on her arm. "He could've made it a lot more difficult. I know he wants you to find him, even if he'll never admit it to himself. He almost went insane when he found out about last week."
She nodded and headed for the door.
"Thanks for saving my wand! I forgot to thank you for that last time I saw you." she called.
"Yeah, yeah. Anytime."
"You're welcome, by the way!" she sang. "I didn't have to use the cushioning charm."
"And I didn't have to drop hints for a week, White." James muttered as the door closed.
...
August 11, 1979
Sirius wasn't anywhere to be seen when she opened the door to the flat, but she heard a noise from a different room. Calandra walked in the room and let the door shut behind her.
"Prongs!" she heard him call out.
"I was wondering when you'd get back. I have a lead on those-" His voice grew louder as he exited the room he was in and walked into the living room, but he cut off when he looked up and saw it was her. His eyes widened and his shoulders stiffened.
He was wearing black. He looked pale and thin and tired. His hair was pulled back from his face and tied off at the nape of his neck. His cheeks looked so gaunt, like he hadn't been eating. There were shadows under his eyes and, by the looks of it, he hadn't shaved in a few days.
"I'm not letting you do this." She said, fury dripping through every word.
"You can be brave, and you can be noble, and you can act like a stupid prat if you want." She walked toward him. "But if you love me, you're not doing any of it without me."
He didn't say anything. Just watched her move closer to him. She stood directly in front of him and raised her chin.
"Tell me right now. Say you don't love me, and I'll turn around and leave. But you have to say the words."
His eyes burned into hers, but she didn't look away. Calandra had to know. He closed the space between them in an instant, his mouth on hers. She sighed in relief. He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, his thumbs softly caressing her cheeks.
"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'm so sorry. For hurting you."
"You better be." Calandra said. "I haven't decided if I'm going to forgive you yet."
He pulled his head back and looked at her. Up close, she could see his eyes were bloodshot and his lips were chapped. There were faint scars that crisscrossed the side of his neck and he had a bruise on his forehead, near his hairline. She wondered how many other scars he had just from the past couple months.
"You already have." He said, a smirk playing at the edge of his mouth.
She shot him a scowl and watched as the smirk on his face turned into a sad frown.
"Not that I deserve it."
Her gaze softened and she ran a hand up to his shoulder.
"Promise you'll never leave like that again and I won't make you grovel." She smiled.
He laughed a horrible, bitter laugh.
"You think I could do that again? The look on your face made me want to kill myself. I've been running from that look for the past two months. I see it every time I close my eyes."
He held her head in his hands and stared into her eyes.
"I will absolutely never leave you again. I promise. I'm not strong enough for that, love."
Calandra smiled and wrapped her arms around him. "You still have a lot of explaining to do. And I come with stipulations this time."
Sirius nodded and moved to sit on the couch, turning to face her.
"I didn't want you to get hurt." He said quickly. "That's why I left. Not because I don't love you, or because of your parents, or because I met someone else."
"I believe you." she said.
"The Death Eaters came for me. Told me to join up or die, pretty much. Said they were extending uncommon courtesy because Reg had told them I'd probably join up. Little fucker. I told them there wasn't even a snowball's chance in hell of me joining ranks."
Sirius stopped and drew a breath.
"They told me they had other ways of persuasion. One of them said he'd been dying to get a taste of you, and it would be even sweeter knowing that he'd be using you to get to me." Sirius's eyes were dead as he said the words.
"It was Avery." Sirius said.
Calandra nodded. She'd known all along it would be him.
"I just wanted to keep you safe." Sirius said, his voice pleading.
"I know that." Calandra said. "But you can't just muck about doing the things you think will keep me safe without talking to me about it. I'm a grown woman Sirius. I can take care of myself."
"I know that!" he exclaimed. "This isn't about you not being capable."
"Then what is it about?" she asked.
"It's about you being put in danger because of me. Because you're with me." He said yanking on his shirt.
"It should still be my choice to be with you or not!" Calandra said.
"But you weren't there! You didn't see them, didn't hear what they were saying."
"Then tell me next time!" she said. "No more of this self-sacrificing nonsense. I am choosing to be with you, no matter what that entails. Danger and all. You're just going to have to live with that."
He was silent for a good while, his eyes flicking back and forth between hers. Finally, he reached a hand up and stroked her cheek.
"Ok. I can do that. Any other stipulations, love?"
"I'm sure I'll think of some." Calandra smiled. "You should talk to Alice."
"Oh, I have." He said "I barely made it through the night when Prongs told me what happened with your father. I went straight to Fawcett's. She hexed me."
Calandra swallowed her smile.
"I couldn't get a word in edgewise for quite some time. I think she cursed my familial name back to the twelfth century." He gave her a lopsided smile.
"When she tired herself out, she took one look at me and realized what had happened. Told me that I was an idiot and I had better thank my lucky stars if you ever gave me the time of day again. She gave me a lecture McGonagall would've been proud of."
"Best friends are great, aren't they?" she smiled.
"Speaking of, is James tied up somewhere or did you have to kill him to find me?" He asked.
"Neither." She said with a huff. "I wasn't born yesterday, Black. I know how that brilliant brain of yours works."
Sirius smiled and leant down to her.
"He wasn't very subtle, was he?" he whispered against her mouth.
Calandra just laughed.
"Good old Prongs." Sirius said as he kissed her.
...
August 11, 1979
She lay next to Sirius that night, more at peace than she'd been in ages. She ran a finger along the inside of his arm and stared at the ink that marked his skin there.
"You got a new one." She said softly.
He ran a hand down her arm and looked down at her.
"I did." He agreed.
"Did it hurt?" she asked.
"Worse than any of the others." He murmured.
"You don't sound too torn up over it." She teased.
"It cut through the fog." He said stoically. "I wanted it to."
"Pretty fearsome looking for a dog, don't you think." She quipped.
He smiled down at her and tucked a curl behind her ear.
"I'd have thought you'd recognize a wolf when you see one. Bearing in mind you can conjure up one at any time."
Calandra looked back at the tattoo. How oblivious could she be? Of course, it was a wolf. A grey wolf.
She blinked back tears and looked back to him.
"You got my Patronus."
He nodded.
"Why?" she asked.
"It represents all your happiest memories. I thought it might help fight the darkness that I was stuck in." he said.
"I got one, too." She said. She hiked her shirt up to show her ribcage. Sirius leant down to read the words on her skin. He drew back sharply and gave her a puzzled frown.
"I told the tattooist to do whatever she wanted. She saw the crest on the necklace and went with that. I didn't even know what it was until I got home."
She smoothed a hand down his cheek and kissed him.
"Describes my love for you quite nicely, don't you think?" she asked.
"Always pure." He murmured.
She studied his face, hoping it wouldn't darken. She didn't know how he would feel about it.
"I'll cover it up if you don't like it." She said, nervously. "I can get something else over it."
He shook his head.
"Keep it. It's perfect." He breathed and ran a finger along the words. "I don't know how it's possible. But you turn every single part of my horrible family you touch, into something full of light."
He kissed her eyelids, then her cheeks, and moved to her nose.
"I love you."
...
August 17, 1979
"You're not going to tell me I'm making a mistake?" Calandra asked as she packed up her things. "Not going to try to get me to stay?"
Alice labeled boxes of paint and shrank them. She gave a Calandra a look out of the corner of her eye.
"No." she said.
"I expected the third degree, honestly." Calandra said, folding a jumper. "I'm surprised at you."
"Callie." Alice laughed. "You've been walking around half asleep for the past two months. You look more alive today than you have in weeks."
Calandra folded the top of the box down and went to sit beside Alice on the bed. She held Alice's hand and squeezed it.
"He told me he came to talk to you." she said.
Alice nodded and her eyes glinted.
"He tell you what I hit him with?" she asked.
"He said you hexed him." Calandra said.
"Figures he wouldn't give details." Alice smiled. "Instant Scalping Hex and a stinging hex for good measure."
"Alice!" Calandra giggled. "You're ruthless."
"Yeah, well. I thought he deserved it at the time." Alice shrugged.
"And you don't now?" Calandra asked.
"Not for the same reason." Alice said. "I stand by it for him being a prat. But no. I don't think he deserved it for lying to you. Because he didn't."
Calandra nodded.
"You know I'll stay if you tell me you still think I should." Calandra said.
"As if." Alice snorted. "When have you ever done what I've told you?"
"I would." Calandra said. "If you think I'll just end up back here six months from now, tell me. And I'll stay."
Alice shook her head and smiled.
"Trust me, Callie." Alice squeezed her hand. "If you go back, you'll never get rid of him."
Calandra breathed a sigh of relief. A huge weight lifted off of her shoulders and she smiled. Alice had never lied to her. She would trust Alice with her life. So that's what she did.
...
August 24, 1979
"We checked into it." Frank said, pulling a quill from behind his ear and marking something on a piece of parchment.
"There's absolutely no ties." He said.
"None?" Calandra asked, unbelievingly.
Alice shook her head.
"We checked everything." She said. "There are no links between your father and any Death Eater activity. Every galleon is accounted for, every business transaction is solid. There's nothing that points back to You-Know-Who."
"We know he was threatening you." Alice said. "We know what he did. But we can't prove it. He has an alibi for that whole day."
Calandra shook her head.
"I don't care about that." She said hotly. "But I know what he said."
"I know." Alice said. "We believe you. I still think he's hiding something."
"But," Frank cut in. "We don't think it's Death Eater activity."
Alice bit her lip and sighed.
"I just don't see how he could hide it so completely if it was." Alice said.
Calandra shook her head.
"He was just trying to scare you, Callie." Frank said. "Just throwing around weight that he didn't have because he knew it would hit hard."
Calandra sighed and looked to Alice.
"Is that what you think?" she asked.
"I don't know." Alice said. "I just don't know, Callie."
Calandra nodded and stared out of the window. Perhaps her father wasn't cavorting with Death Eaters. Perhaps he'd only been trying to intimidate her. Perhaps he was lying. But there was a chance he wasn't. And Calandra couldn't rest easy until she was sure.