CHAPTER THREE.
TRIAL
"I'm going to be fine," I said for the umpteenth time.
"Mmhmm," Alice agreed and continued to skip down the hall beside me.
"You really don't need to come to class with me," I repeated.
"I know." She made a little twirl mid-skip.
"Alice," I stopped and waited for her to turn to face me. "Please don't come to class with me," I said firmly.
"Okay," she agreed easily and continued toward the door we'd been headed for.
"What are you going to do?" I rolled my eyes and followed her into the empty classroom. "Hide behind my seat for an hour?"
"Yes." She climbed the wide stairs to the top row, scooted behind the last row of seats, and sat down on the floor. I couldn't even see the top of her head over the back of the seat.
"No wonder you didn't smell her from up here! All the air blows down." Alice piped up as I flipped the bottom of the theatre-style seat down and fell into it. A small desk attachment hung between the seats on the left side. I flipped it up and out of its cubby, folded it over my lap, and pulled a notebook prop out of my bag.
"Are you going to talk through this whole class?"
"Maybe," she answered, solemnly.
Alice was too good to me. I didn't deserve her. I reached back and ruffled her hair. "Thanks, kid."
"Hey!" She caught my wrist to pull my hand away from her head. "I'm older than you."
The class trickled into the room by twos and threes. Even though I was wound tighter than a fresh coil, I forced myself into a relaxed posture and pretended to doodle. As the seconds ticked past my entire body grew tense with stress. There was no guarantee I would be able to stand being in the girl's presence again, so though I wouldn't admit it, I was glad for Alice's presence.
This would be hard enough, but lab was my biggest worry since we shared a desk. I was hoping I could avoid talking to her and thus, avoid breathing altogether. No breathing, no smelling. Easy, right?
The other students filled the bottom three rows first, then slowly filled in the seats higher up. Not a single student chose a seat within three rows of me. This was par for the course, but for some reason, I was surprised by the lack of renewed interest in me after my appalling behavior and subsequent absence. Edward had been keeping tabs on La over the week, so we knew she didn't say anything to anyone, but seeing it firsthand was still surprising.
Everything he knew about her he'd fished out of her head from the odd reaction, or conversations during break. La never seemed to speak about herself, she never talked about why she came here, and she never offered up any other personal information. She didn't even think about it. Edward was as bemused by this as I was, but not terribly interested in finding out why. I supposed it didn't affect him past the interest of his favorite brother.
Heavy footfalls climbed the steps up past the invisible line that separated me from the rest of the class. They came to an abrupt halt and didn't move again. Alice's hand snuck up between the seats to give my elbow a brief squeeze. I kept my eyes trained on the piece of paper on the desk in front of me. My fingers moved the pen in swift figure eights so violently the ballpoint tore the paper. The whole time I was fighting the desire to look at her. Why wasn't she moving? Was she looking at me? Was she scared? Angry? Suspicious?
The professor began her lecture and La still hadn't moved. The pen I was holding gave a slight crack as its structural integrity finally gave in to the pressure I was exerting. La stumbled a little, then moved to a seat several rows down from me, directly on the aisle.
Only once she was seated did I feel it was safe to look at her. She'd taken her seat without removing her jacket, causing the fabric to bunch up over her shoulders. Outside, the weather was genuinely horrible, and there were still pieces of ice and snow dusting the fabric from her walk to class. Strands of her hair were dancing around her head creating a fuzzy halo. Long coils of it swept down her back, while others swept forward to frame her face. She kept pulling long strands of curls through her fingers, straightening and smoothing them into one long tendril, twirling it, then dropping it in favor of another section. The motion was automatic and repetitive.
Twice she started to turn toward me, and twice she paused halfway through and returned her attention to the professor. Her notebook sat open and empty before her. Occasionally she would write a page number down or a keyword. It took me a moment to realize she was trying to keep up with only the important points to study later. This seemed like an odd way to take notes, but I supposed it was possible she'd already taken the class or was otherwise familiar with the material, but which was it?
I had no business being curious, but suddenly my curiosity was just as consuming as my thirst had been. It seemed if I could just understand who she was and why she was here, everything else would make sense. And why shouldn't I know these things? I wanted to bellow in frustration. This was so dumb. What was the harm in getting to know her? The easy thing to do would be to go down there and simply ask her. What was the worst that could happen? Alice's fingers tightened on my elbow.
Right, I remembered. Maybe don't go strike up a conversation with the woman you almost killed last week. Not my best plan.
The hour felt interminable. I was fidgety and on edge; shifting and tapping, and behaving like a human in almost every regard. Alice's firm presence continued to be a steadying balm, and thankfully, she didn't speak during the entire class.
As soon as the professor dismissed us La jumped up from her seat and ran for the door. I exchanged a look with Alice who had come over the back of the seat the moment La had gotten up.
"That went well?" She asked. We walked to the pavilion together, Alice taking detours to jump in the little patches of snow along the sidewalk that hadn't melted yet. We took our usual seats at a round table for six set between two heating lamps.
"We're not downwind from where she'll be if we sit here, so it's perfectly safe," Alice said and sat daintily on the edge of her seat peering behind me to watch for Jasper's arrival. He and Edward joined us quickly, flanking us on either side.
"It's fine, guys," I assured them. "Seriously."
They both looked at Alice whose gaze went unfocused. Jasper was on guard, attentively watching our surroundings like a scout on first watch. Edward's eyes flicked from one person to the next.
"Yes, I think it will be okay," Alice agreed, eyes coming back to rest on me.
"I just said that." Everyone ignored me. It was an uncomfortable experience to be the focal point of their attention. This must be what Jasper went through with us every day. Ugh. I felt a genuine stab of sympathy for him. He gave me a questioning look having picked up on it.
I grimaced. "I feel for you man, all this protective hovering is a little extreme."
He smiled vaguely but went straight back to scouting.
While I poked fun at them, my nerves were drawn extremely tight. One class down, two more hours to go. It felt like I could snap at the least provocation. Every screech of a chair leg against the floor went through me like a knife, every laugh that was just a little too loud sent tingles down my spine. This was true agony. More and more people entered the pavilion, all blissfully unaware of my plight. The Davis girl's usual table began to fill up.
"You know," Edward was still sifting through the minds of the surrounding humans. "I thought maybe she would have mentioned your odd behavior in passing now that you've returned, but she seems to have given it up entirely."
All three of us turned toward Edward in surprise.
"Nothing new at all?" Jasper asked.
"No, not at all. Not all day."
Jasper turned toward me. "Are you sure she reacted the way you told us?"
I thought back to that fateful day in the classroom when I'd nearly upended our lives. There was no mistaking it, I was two weeks thirsty so my eyes must have been black as night. The girl had nearly fallen off her stool when she caught me glaring. I could remember distinctly the way her heart had sped up, knocking around in her chest, her pupils were almost entirely dilated… "Yeah, definitely."
"That most certainly looks like a fear reaction, though the lack of scent in your memory makes it hard to know for sure," Edward agreed, plucking the picture of La right out of my head.
"Well, the lack of scent is the only reason any of us are sitting here right now, so…."
"Yes, of course," Edward allowed. "I wonder if I should pay her uncle a visit? Perhaps she said something to him."
"Possible, but I don't think it matters for now," Jasper added. "They don't live together, and it doesn't immediately affect anything."
"Wait," I cut in. "She has an uncle here? How do you know all this about her?"
"We did some research," Alice chimed. The two men looked at her blankly. "Okay, I did some research."
"You mean you stalked her," I surmised.
"Only a little bit," Alice admitted. "I was curious! She seems nice."
"It doesn't explain why she hasn't said anything to anyone," Jasper said.
We all shook our heads in mute agreement.
"She's coming!" Alice hissed. "Look human!"
Another silence followed this statement as we all stared at Alice.
"What?" I asked.
"How do you propose we do that?" Edward asked with a wide smirk.
"Like this," Alice threw a fistful of wet slush directly at my face. I ducked just in time and caught most of it in my hair.
"Oh, you've asked for it," I grunted with an evil smile, then shook myself at her, spraying shards of ice and drops of water all over the table and onto her designer blouse.
Edward shrank back from the deluge while Alice swatted playfully at me. We were all laughing and flicking each other with the leftover water when I finally heard La enter the pavilion. She stopped when she saw us laughing. I heard an indelicate snort before her footsteps continued toward the table of her friends.
When I heard her chair move and the soft thunk it made when she collapsed into it, I figured it was safe to risk a glance. Her back was to me again, coat bunched up the way it had been in lecture. She leaned forward to talk to a skinny male with greasy black hair, then answered a question thrown at her by a blonde male. They were all fighting for her attention, trying to one-up each other with their trivial stories.
She couldn't possibly be interested in any of them, could she? I wanted to see her face! That way I could know for myself what her reactions were, and maybe glean some tidbits of who she was. Instead, I watched her body language from behind. Noticed how her shoulders shifted when she was uncomfortable, how she flicked her hair when she was talking animatedly.
"Emmett Cullen is staring at you," the girl across from her said suddenly. I hadn't even noticed she was looking at me. The girl added a small, forced giggle to her statement that grated along every single one of my nerves.
La's shoulders went stiff. There was half a beat of silence, in which I leaned forward over the table, eager for her answer. I was far too invested in this.
"Does he look angry?" La asked in that same, odd flat tone she had been using on her first day.
Aha, I thought at Edward. She did notice.
He tilted his head in acknowledgment of my smug victory. I'd been right. Of course she noticed! While I was sure she had, a part of me was hoping she hadn't, or at least, that she'd convinced herself something else was going on. It would have been easier to move on. Now I would have to correct that first impression so she wouldn't think there was anything unusual about the family. This meant holding my breath through lab was no longer an option. I would have to speak to her.
At the table across the pavilion, La's friend was looking between us, puzzled. "No?" Jessica asked. "Should he?"
My elbows were on the table, hands resting underneath my chin, as I stared at La's back, entirely engrossed.
"Of course not," she answered easily, then glanced over her shoulder. She didn't have to hunt for me, she knew exactly where I was in relation to where she was sitting. At first, she started when she saw I was still looking at her. It was a sort of relief to finally be making eye contact. Her expression was vaguely tense, but it soon relaxed as we maintained contact.
La lifted an eyebrow into a high arch, giving me a sort of sardonic invitation. It seemed she wasn't mad at me for treating her the way I had, wasn't bothered by the fact that I'd stormed out on her. The smile turned kinder as if we were in on the same joke. I smiled back and wiggled my fingers at her from underneath my chin. I would have batted my eyelashes, too, but thought it might be too much. She made that indelicate snorting sound again. This time the sound was accompanied by the most delightful expression: scrunched nose, and little crescents for eyes.
Jessica reclaimed her attention. "Then why did you ask?"
La turned toward her and made a tiny noncommittal shrug. "I just thought he might not like me so much."
Edward cleared his throat, bringing me back around to my siblings. They were all watching me with wide eyes, and alarmed expressions.
"What?" I said.
"What just happened?" Alice asked.
"I thought you were supposed to have those answers."
"Your whole future just went grey and fuzzy…." Her eyes went in and out of focus. I looked at Edward for an explanation.
"She was watching your future for the next hour, and it sort of faded out when the two of you were making eyes at each other."
"We weren't…" I began to say.
"Shut up, Emmett. Of course you were," Alice interrupted.
"Uhm," I glanced back toward La. Her back was set rigidly against me. Just like in lecture she would occasionally begin to turn, catch herself, then resolutely turn back toward her friends. They didn't mention my name again.
Since she was deliberately ignoring me, I directed my attention to the rest of the people at the table, hoping to pick up little tidbits about her personality from the people surrounding her. The blonde male was at the far end, quietly planning a snow fight with a small group for the first snowfall of the season. It was expected over the next couple of days. Apparently, this would be the snow fight to end all snow fights; the snow fight of epic proportions.
It was a silly thing to plan in advance. Snowball fights were always best when they were a surprise. What a stupid person. A chime sounded from the table. La picked up her phone and shut the tone off. The entire table got to their feet and slowly made their way in separate directions, promising to fulfill plans later on, or share notes.
Humans filed past our table on all sides, the next block of classes was about to start for many of the students here. I stayed in my seat, trying to listen to the sound of her footsteps as she joined a group leaving through the front entrance. This was pointless of course, there was nothing I could learn from the ability to distinguish her footsteps from a hundred others. But was I really pretending this was still about self-preservation? Yes, it had to be. Nothing else made sense.
My family stayed in their seats with me until only a few humans remained at the scattered tables, working on laptops or reading books. I still didn't stand, though I was due for class. We'd decided as a family that I would need to correct any ill feelings she may have toward me, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to sit so close to such an absurdly potent scent.
Lecture had gone well, but maybe one class was enough experimentation for today
"You've gone and mucked it all up, but I think it's okay," Alice said. She sounded far from sure. "Your mind is pretty set on not killing her. I don't see her immediately dying anymore…" She shared a glance with Edward.
"What was that?" I asked, picking up on the immediately. "What did that look mean?"
"I don't know, Emmett." She rubbed at her eyebrows like she had a headache. "It's all mixed up now, and not much of it makes sense. I think you'll make it through the next hour."
I nodded. A part of me was still struggling to understand what the big deal was. I mean, I'd either kill her or I wouldn't, right? The next hour would bring the answer to that, and maybe it was just better to get it over with one way or another, like ripping off a bandaid. It was always better to just face things head-on, take care of problems as they arise. Nothing good ever came from indecision. Except of course killing someone and consequently uprooting the entire family.
Pushing it might be a terrible idea. Didn't we just have this discussion about Jasper? I cursed, unsure what the best move was.
"Why push it, Em?" Jasper asked, echoing my thoughts. "Let's go home, take it slow. Don't risk it."
This rankled. He was just relieved he wasn't the weak one anymore, but I'll be damned if I was going to be the weak link in our family. I would go to this stupid lab, and epically not kill this human that smelled better than every happy memory on earth. Besides, I wanted to go to lab. I wanted to see that smile again and ask her what had caused it.
"There," Alice relaxed. "It's firming up. I am at least ninety-three percent sure Emmett won't kill anyone. Do you want one of us to come with you just in case?"
"Nah," I pushed away from the table. "Go to class," I called over my shoulder and strode toward the building labeled with a large number 3 on the corner. Better to be out of earshot when they squabbled over who would follow me. My money was on Alice standing right outside the door for the hour, watching my future, looking for any signs I might give in. I wouldn't.