GO FISH
Sunday finally arrived, despite my belief it would hang ever in the distance like a mirage toying with a man dying in the desert. Edward and I had hunted until it was no longer possible to absorb any more blood so it sat heavy in my stomach, instead. We ran back together, only parting at the house where I put on a set of clothes that weren't torn and blood stained. He gave me a sly smile as I exited through the kitchen door, fully aware of my intentions.
La's house was perfectly dark when I arrived just before dawn. The neighborhood was quiet, the rest of the homes slumbering peacefully. I hung from the eave over La's window, fingers hooked into the aluminum gutters to peer inside.
She was sleeping without the violence of my first visit. Small puffs of breath that pushed her lips out on the exhale were paired with a trickling snore on the inhale. Her hands were relaxed and open, one draped above her head, the other hanging off the side of the bed. It was an immense relief to be able to see her again. All the tension that had built within me during my absence slipped away as my eyes feasted on her sleeping form.
Edward had suggested oil for the sticky window to reduce the possibility of waking the girl up as I maneuvered it open. My toolkit in the garage contained only a small tube of mild engine lubricant meant for my Jeep. It was a bit overkill, but at least opening the window wouldn't trigger dreams about mice, as my first visit did. I put three dots into the grooves in the track above and below the pane, then gently worked the window open. When I was finished it rolled smoothly and silently.
Hesitantly, I breathed in through my mouth to test the strength of her scent after such a long separation. The pain was ungodly. I'd been away too long.
As painful as it was, the fire was flavored with relief, as well. It meant she was alive and safe. I carefully breathed in through my nose and let the fire consume me as I swung outside her window. It was horrible, but I could manage it.
With the care of a thief in the night, I climbed through the open window and crept over to the chaise beside her bed. She didn't stir.
For several moments, I sat as still as possible and simply let her scent burn its way through my veins. It was like the first day all over again, like I was desensitizing from scratch. I would probably have to do this every time I left for longer than a day or two.
As I sat, I tried to glean as much information as I could from her appearance. Humans changed so quickly!
Almost as if she could feel my scrutiny, La twitched dramatically and pulled her trailing arm into her chest. I hoped she would speak, but her dreams seemed to be silent. Even as she rested quietly, she looked tired, as though she hadn't been sleeping well over the weekend. I wondered what could have kept her awake.
It cheered me slightly that I would be able to ask her when I next saw her, though that was still a couple of days away. By Wednesday, I wouldn't have to watch her from afar, like I had for so long while we weren't speaking. We could be friends now! Try to be friends, anyway, and in an effort to be friendly, it would make sense for me to ask her about her weekend.
Assuming I was strong enough to behave, and continue to excel at not killing her, we would have plenty of time to get to know one another.
Best yet, with Edward's recent consent, I felt empowered to chase her properly. I didn't realize how much his approval meant for my happiness… until he withheld it. Now that I knew I would have his support, navigating human courtship seemed like the least of my worries.
La mumbled and turned over sluggishly. She was deeply asleep. Almost closer to unconscious, than actually asleep. It made me happy that she was finally getting the rest she needed, whatever had caused the lack through the weekend. I wondered if she'd thought about me, or even missed me the way I missed her.
Hopefully, she was having too much fun with her friends on their beach trip, to think of anything else. I tried to imagine her sitting in the sun-warmed sand, laughing happily with friends. It was a pretty fantasy but not a picture I would ever see in real life. Not at this particular beach, anyway. La had gone to First Beach in La Push, a place I was forbidden by treaty to go.
An unlikely thought occurred to me. My family was forbidden to go to this First Beach because even though the wolves were dead, a few old men of the tribe still remembered the histories. They still remembered and believed those tribe origin stories and even the newer stories about a group of vampires that fell into their midst. It was possible, La had just spent a portion of her weekend in the one place, where a few tired old men definitively knew our secret.
I dashed the thought away. It was so outrageously unlikely that La would run into one of the grumpy tribe elders that knew those stories. Even if she did, they were bound by the same treaty as the Cullens to not speak of it. They wouldn't be able to share them with her even if she asked, and there wasn't any feasible reason she would ask, since there wasn't a connection between my family and the wolves of the Quileute people within the last eighty years.
No, I felt confident she didn't discover anything there.
She seemed to have returned perfectly whole, though the idea of her going somewhere I couldn't was distinctly galling. On top of this frustration lay an added layer vexation caused by having to wait another two days to speak to her due to good weather of all things.
It was still mostly dark when I dropped from the window sill into the lush grass in the backyard. I planned to lurk in the trees around the house to see La off to school, but as soon as I breached the shadows I found a trace of her scent lingering on a deer path that led away from the cottage.
The narrow track swiveled away from the backyard, deep into the surrounding wilderness. I followed the scent along the trail for more than a mile, growing more alarmed as it led further and further into the darkness. The scent trail ended abruptly at a curve in the path that was only remarkable because it was so astoundingly unremarkable. There didn't seem to be anything nearby that could make her pause; no landmark, trail marker, or visual that would mark a place. It seemed, at first glance, to be exactly the middle of nowhere.
I looked around for another trace of her scent, and found her touch on the trunks of two trees, just to the right of the path. Beyond them, was a fallen tree surrounded by tall, busy ferns. Her scent was embedded on the trunk as if she'd taken a seat on it. I sat down to see what she must have, but there was nothing extraordinary about the view. The undergrowth was so thick, it was impossible to see anything through the tangle of branches, brush, and greenery.
Above, I could hear the cry of birds, but the trees grew so close overhead I couldn't get a clear view of the sky.
I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. Her scent was slightly washed out. It must have been raining when she'd been seated. The sound of little feet moving around, birds taking flight, and droplets of water dripping to the ground surrounded me. There was nothing here. Why would she have come all the way out here to sit by herself, in the cold, wet gloom?
It was like she went looking for danger. Anything could have happened out here - far from any other living soul. Since she lived alone, it may have taken days for anyone to notice she was missing. I groaned. Keeping her alive would take more work than I bargained for.
The Cullen house was full of sound and energy when I returned. Edward was seated on his bench before the piano playing a soft jig. Carlisle and Esme were upstairs out of sight, but I could hear Esme laughing delightedly about something in the study. Peter and Charlotte were seated on the couch each with a hand of cards. Jasper was seated on the floor opposite them, also shuffling his own hand of cards. The coffee table separating them contained three short, neat stacks that must have been the rest of the deck for use in whatever game they were playing.
Alice was on the couch with Peter and Charlotte, but rather than sit on it properly she was upside down with her crossed ankles in the air, and her head hanging off the front. She held a fashion magazine up high to read, and there was a stack of several more on the floor next to her.
"Go fish," Charlotte murmured and reshuffled her cards. Jasper leaned forward to slip a card off the deck to his right.
"Really?" I tried to push Alice's legs over but she was already perched on the armrest. I hopped over the back of the couch and took her vacated space next to Charlotte.
"We've never played before." Charlotte's voice was naturally soft and rather quiet. It made her easy to overlook in a room, but that would be a deadly mistake from what Jasper told me about his friends from the south.
"How many decks are you using?"
"Two standard, two transformative, and one translucent." Unlike Jasper, Peter had endeavored to lose as much of his Southern accent as possible. He opted for the basic middle America one that had a way of consistently sounding both casual and professional at once. "Would you like to deal in?"
This was a version of the game Jasper, Esme, and I played fairly often. Instead of standard books of four, the object was to build whole suits. Adding the translucent deck made it difficult even for us to know who had which sets. It could take anywhere from an hour to several days, to complete one game.
"Sure, why not?"
"Pull nine." Peter shifted to the floor to make the table more evenly surrounded.
I did as he suggested and swiftly ordered my hand by sets. I only got one translucent jack, the rest of my hand was standard. Not a great start.
"Ooh!" Alice shut her magazine with a firm snap. "You're going to Port Angeles!"
When I'd seen La off to school in the morning, Jessica Stanley had accosted her before the first bell with an invitation to shop in the small port town near the border. At the time she'd been unwilling to commit. I wondered what changed her mind.
I flicked my card hand closed and turned toward Alice. "Am I?"
"Well, La is going, so I assume you are." She got up and danced over to her bank of computer monitors. "You'll probably want to borrow Edward's car though."
"No," Edward supplied mildly from behind the piano. The music did not pause.
"There's nothing wrong with the Jeep," I huffed. Peter and Charlotte's eyes were flicking between us rapidly. I had to commend them for their propriety. If I were in their position, I would be asking the questions that were surely on their minds.
"Got any two's?" I asked Jasper blindly. He handed three cards over, each from a different deck. Entirely unhelpful for my hand, but it redirected everyone's attention to the game and off of my discomfort.
My obsession had become so commonplace in the household that assuming I would be wherever La would be was a matter of course. At least I could take comfort from the knowledge they were no longer judging me for it.
We continued to play the game, but my thoughts hung on this enforced absence from the public eye. I wanted very much to drop the cards in my hand, run to campus, and… and what? Lurk in the shadows like a creep? Wasn't watching the girl while she slept creepy enough for one day?
My morning watching La rush around to get to school on time had been a lesson in frustration. What I'd wanted to do was offer La a ride, then walk her to class, or even ditch school altogether and go adventuring. The sun, of course, limited my ability to do any of those things as my family's differences became rather obvious in the light of day.
Had I been able to, I would have approached her that morning as she'd basked in the sunlight before class. She'd looked so happy and sunkissed. This was impossible so I sat in the cover of trees and eavesdropped on a conversation she shared with the Fungus instead.
He approached her from the parking lot, blonde spikes glinting in the sun. I imagined little echoes of "douche, douche, douche…" timed with every step. When he called her name, she responded with so much enthusiasm I nearly growled. At one point, he even touched her hair and I was only calmed when she shrank away from him in disgust.
This reaction was in direct opposition to the reaction she had given me on Wednesday. Except, she had run away from me. Maybe she just didn't like to be touched at all, but at least she hadn't looked disgusted.
When the annoying little twirp asked her on a date, I accidentally broke the baby spruce tree I was leaning against. Thankfully, I was too far away for either of the humans to hear the commotion.
In true La fashion, she was able to redirect her suitor's attention onto someone else without too much trouble. They walked toward their building together, La moving with quick, jerky, uncomfortable strides, and the boy lost in pensive thought.
Jessica Stanley caught them right before they entered the building to invite La to Port Angeles, but at the time, La had declined. If she had changed her mind I would have to change my plans to escort them from afar. While it was unlikely they would run into any trouble there, La seemed to be a magnet for all things terrible. Port Angeles was only less boring than Forks because it was marginally larger. It was still just another little, shit town, where nothing ever really happened.
"Have you got any jacks?" Charlotte all but whispered in my direction. Damn, this was not my game. I handed her my only translucent card and asked Peter for some Queen's. The game progressed through the morning and afternoon, becoming heated when Jasper built the first translucent suit, doubling his points.
Before 4:30 pm approached, Alice informed me that La's plans had changed yet again. She wouldn't be going to Port Angeles after all. That was easy. I could go by her house to check on her, then take a quick hunting trip in the evening to make sure I was safe as possible when I went back after nightfall. I knew I shouldn't be spying on her this way, but I couldn't deny myself the temptation of listening to her thoughts as she slept. It was simply too much to ask on top of all the other temptations I was so adequately denying.
By the time I joined her, La was in the little kitchen packing a picnic basket. She took this outside to a waiting blanket spread in a patch of sun. She flopped down unsuobconciously, and pulled a chunk of white cheese from the basket which she nibbled without bothering to slice. In between the occasional bite, she would stick her nose in a fluted glass of brown liquid, then give it a tentative sip.
Her book was clearly well-loved; floppy and dog-eared with a broken spine. Though it was as thick as a fist, it lay flat on the ground in front of her without the need for weights to hold it open. The angle was such that I couldn't read the book over the basket from my position, but it was obviously one she was familiar with. A slight smile creased the corner of her mouth, as her eyes flew over the pages.
It occurred to me that I was witnessing something very private. This was La's happy place, her favorite thing. Longing shot through me. I wanted so badly to share this moment with her, perhaps with my own book, in a meadow full of wildflowers, where the birds sing freely, and we wouldn't have to worry about anyone else finding us. Somewhere, I wouldn't have to hide from the sun.
I watched her read for several long moments. Eventually, her eyelids began to droop, lulled by the ambient warmth of the day. She set her glass carefully aside, put the cheese back in the basket, and pillowed her head on her arm. She then used the basket to prop her book into an angle that allowed continued reading. She only attempted to read a little bit longer before she was happily dozing in the sunshine.
Her black curls spread around her head in blue-black rivulets, streaked with warm chestnut. At one point she twitched and woke up enough to flick a lingering curl off her face, but she fell still again quickly after that. I settled in to wait. I didn't want her to end up sleeping out here all night.
When her lips began to tremble, and soft mumbles flitted out of her mouth, curiosity overcame me. I listened hard in every direction until I could catch voices in the nearest houses.
Someone was baking in the house next door, reciting the recipe to themselves as they performed each step. On the other side, a couple was watching a soccer game, hollering excitedly at the television. A woman, across the street, was deciding which dress she should wear on a first date, leaning heavily toward something little and black.
Everyone close seemed to be occupied, and there were no cars coming down the street.
This is not a good idea, I tried to talk myself out of it. Approaching La in the sun was extremely risky, and absolutely wrong. Edward and Jasper would be furious if they found out I was flouting our strict rules so consciously, but I'd never been the responsible one, and they weren't here to judge me.
Fuck it. Decision made, I held my breath and darted out from my protective tree cover to kneel beside La's blanket.
As soon as I stepped into the sun, my skin reacted. The bright UV light reflected off the smooth ivory of my exposed arms and face to kiss La's cheeks. I smiled at the rosy hues it brought out in her skin tone. She looked so alive! I reached out to take her book for a closer look, but as the light reflecting from my skin crossed her eyelids, she shifted and mumbled again.
I held still, waiting.
When no further proclamations came, I quickly snagged the book and rushed back into the shade. I only started breathing again when I was a safe distance away, just in case. Though with every passing day, I was becoming more comfortable with the awful pain her scent caused, the sun seemed to affect it, making it more potent. It was as if the heat sweetened it the way it sweetened strawberries in a baking pie.
My throat flamed viciously, but I savored it. As long as there was fire in my throat, La was alive. I swallowed, careful to get control of myself before I concentrated on anything else. Once the fire diminished, I looked down at the book in my hands. It was a complete collection of Austen's works.
The choice surprised me. We'd had an extremely memorable conversation about Star Trek at lunch the other day. From that, I assumed she would read sci-fi, as well as watch it. Austen was a far cry from Jean Luc Picard unless he was having an encounter in the holo-deck.
I chuckled and opened the book to the page she'd last read. It was near the end of Pride & Prejudice. So far along, she must have opened the book and started reading near the end to begin with. La had fallen asleep during the scene where Elizabeth awkwardly runs into Mr. Darcy at his family estate, right after she'd made it very clear she never wished to see him again.
"Emmett…"
I hit the ground before I realized La was only talking in her sleep. Dreaming of me again. After a quick listen to the surrounding neighborhood, I stole back out into the sunshine to replace her book.
"Darcy…" she murmured. What I would give to be able to see her dreams. "Go away!" she whined, then snored loudly. I snickered into my hand to reduce the noise. I waited a little longer to see if she had any other pearls of wisdom to offer, but she seemed to be finished, so I slunk back to the trees.
I waited with her until the sun began to sink below the horizon. The long, forming shadows stretched their inky fingers toward La's prone form. I wanted to fight them back, to save her from darkness' embrace, but the setting of the sun was inevitable.
As the ambient light dimmed, the color drained from La's skin until she almost looked too pale. Her hair had lost the chestnut shine the sun had revealed, leaving it cold and black against the cool color of the blanket.
When the temperature started to drop with the sun's decline, and she still hadn't moved, I decided it might be time to wake her, though I was loath to disturb her peaceful rest.
I crept back out and crouched beside her on the blanket. For a moment, I held my hand awkwardly in the air over her shoulder. I'd almost touched her, to poke her awake, but remembered her reaction to being touched earlier.
Instead, I leaned down close to her ear and whispered her name until she shifted.
"La, my love. It's time to wake up." When she grunted, I flew back to the trees. Her heartbeat was a little closer to a waking rhythm, but she still wasn't fully awake. I looked around for a thick tree branch that was dry enough to make a loud noise.
When I found one, I returned to the edge of the trees and snapped it in half. The sound wasn't as impressive as I hoped, but it was enough to jerk her out of sleep. She shot up into a seated position and blinked blearily into the encroaching darkness.
She seemed befuddled and lost as she looked around herself, and finally up at the sky, like she was searching for the sun. For a brief moment, her eyes touched the shadows under the trees where I hid. She narrowed her eyes, as though she was trying to pierce the darkness.
"Hmm," she muttered and stood to gather her things.
I waited until she was inside, then took off to allow her some privacy. I didn't want to trespass the way a peeping tom would have, though the line of distinction did seem to be blurring. I decided I would draw the line at protection, and because I couldn't seem to keep myself away, also when she was asleep. I thought about the way someone like Fungus would leer at her if he had the abilities I did, and shuddered. She deserved better than that.
Hunting first, I decided, though I wasn't looking forward to it. For this trip, I would have to content myself with smaller, more docile creatures. They didn't taste as good, and I was still over full from the weekend, but it was safer than not hunting at all.
The Cullen household was empty when I arrived. Jasper had left a note pinned to my bedroom door.
Rugby at the Rainier Field until late. Join us!
I considered it. There were several hours available until I would be back at La's cottage when she would be asleep. It was just possible I would be able to play a round, hunt, and make it back in time to catch her sleep-talking. ...but it would be close, and the teams were even without me in any case, assuming Esme was reffing.
I ducked into my room to grab a pen and wrote "sorry" on the note. Jasper would be disappointed, but I could make it up to him later.
My hunting trip was uneventful and unenjoyable as I thought it might be. I rushed through it, only taking down one deer, which I forced myself to drink then ran back home where I quickly showered and changed clothes.
As soon as I was done, I headed straight back to Forks. La's cottage was dark as I expected, with the one dim light in the kitchen, and one hallway light upstairs. The antique clock in her room said it was just after midnight.
La had fallen asleep with her book on her chest but then rolled over on top of it until she was almost cuddling it, pages bent at odd angles underneath her grip. I gently untangled the book and set it beside her bed.
Without the book, she slept as violently as the first night I'd watched her. This time, even her face showed her displeasure, expressions shifting from worried, to angry, to frightened, with every kick of the covers. She thrashed at her blankets as though they were an octopus, squeezing the life out of her with their many tentacles. Her only words were derogatory remarks on the general greenness of Forks, and the awful, plaguing rain.