mira-see
Warning: Hints of abuse
She hadn't seen Dean's violent side until a few weeks later. When they start school again, Dean takes Blanca to her favorite restaurant. They order a pizza and a plate of pasta to share. The waiter nods and smiles at Blanca after taking her menu. Out of politeness, she grins back and turns to Dean. He's gritting his teeth and tapping his nails on the table.
"What's wrong, Dean?"
"I did not like the way he looked at you," he hisses.
"What way? He was just being friendly. I wouldn't go after him. I have you." Blanca stares at her boyfriend, confused.
"He smiled at you. I don't accept that."
Blanca swallows and glances down at the table. "I don't think he meant it as flirting. Just let it go, okay?" She puts her hands on his to try to calm him down. "Breathe, your face is going purple."
Dean huffs and pushes her hands away. "Blanca, you don't understand!" His eyes are burning into hers intensely. "You are mine. Do I have to carve that into your skin to make others believe that we are together forever?"
Blanca shakes her head. "Dean, you're scaring me."
"I'd never hurt you. I just want people to leave our relationship alone. He was staring at you, and I hated it!"
"Girls stare at you all the time, yet you don't see me overreacting about it! You're just handsome-"
Dean slams his hand on the table and Blanca jumps slightly. "Do not tell me that I overreacted! I don't want anyone looking at you with a sly grin on their face! I am the only one allowed to stare at you like that. You belong to me."
Blanca chews on her bottom lip, not knowing what to say. She nods and lowers her eyes when the waiter comes back to their table. Dean stands up and grabs their food from the man. "Thank you, sir. I would appreciate it if you didn't set your sights on my girlfriend! I love her, and I don't want anyone to make her leave me, including scum like you!"
"I...I'm sorry, man. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong...but I'm sorry I offended you."
"Apologize to her, not me! Fucking piece of shit," Dean grumbles.
"It's fine," Blanca said before the waiter opens his mouth. "It's no big deal, really."
"You look at her again, you're dead," Dean threatens him.
"Let me get my manager."
"Oh, like your little manager will save you!" They eat their whole meal without any words being exchanged between them.
"Why are you starting drama?" Blanca asks plainly. "You'll get us kicked out."
"I won't let anyone disrespect you like that."
"He wasn't-"
"Goddamnit, Blanca!" Dean thunders. He bolts out of his seat suddenly, and she moves away from him slightly. "What can I do to make you understand? Don't stick up for people who I'm jealous of!" He knocks over a few glasses of water all over their plates, and then snatches the tablecloth off the table, making everything crash to the floor. By now, everyone is looking at them, and Blanca hides her face in shame.
"Stop it, Dean, you're embarrassing me," she mumbles, but he isn't listening. He's in a rage now, and nothing can stop him. The manager walks over to them and restrains him from touching anything else.
"Don't you love me?" he asks, almost in tears.
"Of course I do, but..." Her cheeks are burning from humiliation.
"Then prove it! Tell that man you don't want him giving you looks like he's in love with you! Tell him!"
"I'm sorry," Blanca apologizes to the manager and the waiter. "My boyfriend's never been like this before...I guess you can't look at me."
"You bet you can't look at her!" Dean hollers and punches the waiter in the face. Blanca gasps and everyone in the restaurant screams.
They do indeed get kicked out, but the manager takes Blanca aside. Dean permits this because the manager is a woman. He sits in the car and waits.
"Am I not allowed back here? I didn't freak out. I feel so guilty," Blanca tells the red-haired lady in a quiet voice.
"Don't worry. You can come here anytime you want. Just...your boyfriend can never return again." She then mutters something in Russian. "That pig fucker..."
"Yeah, once again, I'm sorry for his behavior. I take the blame. It's one of my favorite places, and I shouldn't have begged for him to take me here."
The older woman puts her hand on Blanca's shoulder. "My dear, it's not your fault. Can I give you some advice?"
"Hm?"
"I would find a more peaceful boyfriend. You're young, and you've got plenty of time to find a wonderful man who treats you well."
"He loves me, he's just very overprotective. A good night's sleep should relax him some."
"If he yells and beats up someone else for something with so little meaning, he will do the same to you later in your relationship."
"Oh, that was just once...don't worry about me. I'm fine." Blanca smiles gently and waves goodbye. She turns around and joins Dean in his car. He speeds off and plays loud rock and roll music.
"I'm sorry," he says flatly when they get back to his house. "I was just...envious."
"It's okay. I understand. Just, please, don't get yourself in trouble anyplace else. You should go for a run to burn off steam."
"I won't," he promises. "I love you, and I feel so bad for embarrassing you."
She spends another night with him in his bed, and he has gotten her flowers to make up for his behavior. She forgives him, just like that.
It's been a number of months since they last spoke or even exchanged eye contact, but Diablo has never wiped Blanca from his mind. Of course, he'd moved on with another girl for a while, but she ended things since she felt like he wasn't too into her. Seeing Blanca for such a long time without being permitted to speak to her much, is so painful for him. It seems like Blanca's boyfriend will never leave her side, until, at last, he does. He goes into the bathroom, and she makes her way to the lockers. A few girls yell, "Slut!" at her and push her down, resulting in her dropping her books. Her sunglasses tumble off her face.
"Stupid skanky whore!" a girl Diablo knows as Linda Ferguson, shouts. "Everyone knows you're preggo!" The fallen girl tries to pick up her books, but Linda steps on them.
"Hey, that's enough, leave her alone," Diablo mutters. "Don't you have some class to get to?"
"Like I care!" she scoffs. "Hey, Carlos!" She skips over to a guy and kisses him. Diablo bends down and both he and the pretty girl in the reddish-orange shirt and blue jeans, pick up her books.
"Gracias," Blanca murmurs, keeping her face down. "I thought she'd never leave."
"De nada." Diablo hands her sunglasses back to her and she hastily puts them on and then over her forehead. He then sees why she was covering her eyes. She appears so tired, what with the dark circles.
Blanca lifts her hand to tuck her hair behind her ears. She looks a little wary, and it's the first time Diablo sees her this close. She's so beautiful. Thousands of emotions show in her eyes. She smiles at him with her mouth half-closed, and he notices she's now wearing braces.
She glances towards the boys' bathroom. "Um, I've gotta go…my boyfriend wanted me to wait for him right after I got my stuff." She opens her locker quickly and exchanges her Science and Cooking textbooks with her English and Health textbooks.
"I'm sorry for distracting you, Blanca." He hadn't meant to say her name, but he wanted to. He wanted to hear her name come off his lips again.
"It's okay." She closes her locker. It's then that Diablo notices bruises on her wrists that extend up her arms a little as her sleeves raise. They're in the shapes of fingerprints. All of a sudden, he doesn't know what to do.
"My friend Keighlyn's mom could look at those for you if you want. She's a doctor."
Blanca's face turns from soft to hard. "You know what, Diablo, mind your own business!" she snaps. She quickly walks away from him.
Diablo happens to be an assistant at the hospital, and he notices Blanca's in there quite a few times. He's applying a cast to her broken arm with Dr. Brooks' help and Dean is sitting in the corner of the room. He doesn't appear concerned, and Blanca apologizes for being so clumsy. Two weeks later, she comes in with a bleeding lip and a bruised jaw. She tells him it's nothing whenever he asks her how she got her injuries.
Diablo presses some ice to Blanca's lip after cleaning it with a wet rag. Her breath is warm on his hand and he has the urge to wrap her in a long hug and comfort her. This can't happen, though, because she has a boyfriend. Besides, she's his classmate. They only sit across the room from each other.
"You can't lie to me this time, Blanca. ¿Cómo pasó esto? First the bruises in the shapes of handprints, then the broken arm, damn it, you were in a wheelchair for a month and a half when I met you...and now, your split lip! What's next, a black eye? Everyone has told me to watch out for your boyfriend for a good reason! Dean is a dangerous man, isn't he?"
How did this happen?
"Diablo, ¡fue un accidente automovilístico! I've really gotta go. The doc released me."
It was a car accident!
"No." He goes to tenderly place his hands around her wrists, but she flinches. A flash of fear shows in her wide brown eyes, and he pulls away from her instantly. "Hey, lo siento, I wasn't gonna hurt you. I just need you to be honest with me."
"It's okay. I don't know why I..." She sighs. "Why do you care?" Pain is evident in her tone.
"I've known you for years and you keep ending up here at various times, ¡así que sé que esto no fue un puto accidente automovilístico!" She jumps as his voice gets louder. "Sorry," he apologizes again.
so I know this was no car accident!
"It was...we did get in one...he had a mild concussion, and I needed a wheelchair, if you remember. We were...kissing...and not looking at the road while we drove home from our date. He isn't a really good driver, but you can't hate him for that..."
"So, he decides to distract himself and threaten your life?"
"It wasn't on purpose," she says softly. "He apologizes every time, y lo perdono. He's getting better though...anger management classes are really working for him. I'm okay. Really. He loves me, I know he does." She smiles, but it isn't genuine.
and I forgive him.
Blanca's on the brink of tears, Diablo can sense it.
"Come on," a male voice says sharply. Dean grabs Blanca's hand. "Let's bust outta here."
Diablo wants to call the cops, but he knows he doesn't have any evidence that Dean abuses Blanca. He's also aware that Dean's parents are both racist police officers.
Months pass, and things get awkward between them. Instead of enlisting in the army, Diablo and Weevil rob a jewelry store while armed and get fifteen years in prison after he graduates high school and Blanca's pregnant, but she loses her baby. It becomes obvious that she's never going to leave her boyfriend, but every day, Diablo prays that she'll build up the strength to get away from Dean and run into the arms of anyone who will really protect her.
That same year in nineteen-ninety, Blanca miscarries after Dean pushes her down the stairs. He's so angry at her, but he's also frustrated with himself. He mostly blames her, though. She tries breaking up with him, but he won't allow her to leave his place. Six weeks go by and she does her best not to set him off again. It seems to be working very well, but she just doesn't feel up to being with him anymore. It's now like having a volatile roommate who she has to kiss and have sex with. She doesn't want to have a baby if he's around, so she takes birth control in secret.
The doorbell chimes on a warm night in July. "Get it!" Dean commands as she's standing up to do just that. She looks through the peephole, but doesn't see anyone. She does, however, hear a baby wailing as she opens the door. Gasping in shock, she kneels down and brings the carriage holding the screaming infant inside the house. "What the fuck is that?" he yells.
"Please keep your voice down, someone left their tiny girl here..." Blanca tells him softly while running her knuckles up and down the little one's cheek. "Such gorgeous copper-colored skin and brown eyes...like mine..." The child is wearing a pink cap on her head and matching footsie pajamas.
"Take care of it, then." He turns up the television.
Blanca takes out the newborn while she gets to her feet and then holds the little one close to her chest. She walks into the kitchen while humming a soothing melody, hoping that will calm the child. She hasn't the slightest idea how to care for a baby, even thinks they're curses of Eve, but Karla has watched many kids before and Blanca learned a lot about little ones from her best friend. "No te ves como una maldición," she says gently as she opens the fridge. Luckily, they'd bought everything they'd need for a baby and never got rid of it. Still humming her made-up lullaby in Spanish, Blanca fills a bottle with warm milk and tests it on her wrist before giving it to the tiny girl. "¿Tienes hambre, bebé? ¿De donde vienes? Shh, shh, it's okay..." Blanca guides the nipple of the bottle through the baby's minuscule lips and her red face calms as the crying comes to a stop. She begins sucking frantically. Blanca breathes a sigh of relief as she sits down with the infant in her arms. "Oh, there you go, sweetheart. Good girl. It's yummy, huh? Sí..."
You don't look anything like a curse. You hungry, baby? Where did you come from?
When the small girl finishes, she seems a lot more relaxed as she closes her little eyes and breathes in and out through her tiny mouth, letting out adorable cooing sounds. Blanca wraps the baby girl's whole body in a blanket so she can feel more secure. Karla calls it swaddling. Smiling down at the precious infant, Blanca touches her cheek. Tears blur her vision. She doesn't understand how anyone could just up and abandon their kid. She gets why her own mother seems to have, it's in their culture to let children learn from their own mistakes and come back to their parents when they're ready, but Blanca really wishes her mom had fought harder for her.
"Mira, estás bien," she murmurs. "You're okay," she repeats in English. She lifts herself up carefully, as to not startle the tiny human in her arms, and then goes back to the carriage. She could've sworn she saw something else in there next to the baby.
Sure enough, there's a small piece of folded-up paper. Blanca picks it up and reads the note.
To whoever lives here:
I am too poverty-stricken to take care of my child and I think you'd be able to give her a better life than I could. Please, raise her as your own. Don't try to find or contact me. I am being deported to Colombia to live with my sister Juliana. I have only had Maritza in my arms for a few days. You'll be with her for a lifetime. I'm begging you to keep her. God bless you!
-Maria Ramos
"I gotta find her mother..."
"She said not to, aren't your eyes working?" Dean asks condescendingly, and Blanca jumps, suddenly noticing he'd been right behind her for a while now.
"Well...we should at least turn poor baby Maritza into the authorities," Blanca mumbles while staring down at her sadly. "It's the right thing to do."
"Nope, we're gonna keep her," he decides. "You lost one, so she'll replace it. This is a miracle!"
"It's kidnapping," Blanca tells him.
"No, it's not! Besides, who would we be to turn down this needy lady and refuse to help her? She gave us permission. We got the runt we've always wanted, and she's got her life back. It's a win-win."
"We can't fight around her. I don't want her to get hurt whenever you're...blowing up at me."
Dean scoffs. "Just behave yourself, and I won't feel like killing you for being stupid! Of course I'm not gonna lay a cruel hand on the kid. She's ours."
"Okay," she gives in. She kisses Maritza's forehead cautiously. "Hello, Miss Maritza Diana Ramos-Flores-Juarez." She has to honor Karla somehow, so they share the same middle name-one of Karla's, at least. "I will always protect you, honey."
"She's got too many last names, pick one. Oh, I got it, Juarez."
"We're not married..."
"We will be!" he professed.
So she says goodbye to everyone she knows on the last day of high school. There is lots of hugging and crying between her and Karla at her graduation. Because he's in prison, she can only picture Diablo waving at her when Dean isn't watching and tears slide down her cheeks. She and Dean elope when she's seventeen and a half-he has somehow gotten her emancipated and therefore, she doesn't need parental consent. Only the two of them-plus Maritza as the flower girl and a priest friend of his-are in the wedding. She wanted a ceremony with all her friends and family, but he thought it'd be pointless. Everyone disapproves of them anyway, and Linda and Carlos, his very best friends, move to Arizona together, so he goes there, too, bringing Blanca and now two-year-old Maritza.
Arizona seems so far from home. Blanca's always going to miss New York. Her best friend Karla. Her mom Trina and stepdad Chad. Diablo-although she tries not to think about him too much. Hell, even the girl group she could've been a part of. Karla tried her hardest to include Blanca, she really did.
The only thing that keeps Blanca going now, is Maritza, a bright and happy little girl who's always talking about her day and dancing and splashing through rain puddles and trying on Blanca's makeup and wearing pink ribbons in her long, dark hair. He doesn't ever hurt her in front of Maritza.
Her daughter.
Thank you for reading and reviewing, MsSchneeheide, VeraRose19, Juliette45, and A Star In My Universe!