XXX

November 5th, X778

Lucy couldn't figure out what she wanted to do: throw Loke off the seaside cliff they'd been following or thank him for keeping her company, as it wouldn't have been fun to do this alone. He wasn't necessarily the worst person she'd ever met. That title definitely belonged to Erigor. But he seemed oblivious to Lucy's downtrodden mood as they walked, chatting her ear off.

She wished Makarov had come instead. He'd been insistent on finding other gods though, even if she'd drily promised him if he hung around, he'd find someone through her. Or even Gray, who Lucy didn't think had stayed with Natsu this long. It didn't take a genius to understand why Gray had been around if she'd supposedly died.

Maybe Gray wouldn't be a great person to have around in that case.

"You know, it's been a long time since I left Valhalla," remarked Loke as Lucy carefully picked her way over a particularly slippery section of stones.

Sighing heavily, Lucy replied, "I hear that's a common thread between you all." A brisk breeze whisked over them, and she shivered at the bite of cold. She would have whined about it had Natsu been there. If otherworldly beings were going to force her into becoming somewhat like them, then why couldn't they take away her ability to freeze while they were at it?

She was surprised by Loke's quiet response. "We all crave to remember what it was like to feel like humans do. It's interwoven with what we are. Mavis tries to help the pain that desire brings by not allowing us to walk among humans. There's been a handful of gods – the first few Mavis created – that were twisted into something dark and demonic by those cravings. As much as many of us hate her rules, Mavis has her reasons for them."

Of course Mavis's laws would be brought up, even when she wasn't with Natsu. Still, Lucy couldn't help but find her curiosity sparked. "What do you mean it twisted them?"

Loke carefully stepped over a particularly snowy patch of ground that would have sent him over the cliff without Lucy's help. "Imagine what might happen," said Loke, picking his words carefully, "if you lived for thousands of years and watched every person you risked loving die, whether it be from old age, or disease, or starvation. Not just once, but over and over again. You would get angry, hateful…everything in between. You would begin to take your wrath out on those who get to have what you cannot, would you not?"

"I think it really depends on the god, but sure," muttered Lucy. It was the same argument the other gods had made about Natsu and her. Not that she didn't understand. The logic was there.

"You shouldn't lock yourselves away from pain entirely though," said Lucy softly after nearly slipping and almost falling. She managed to catch her balance by flailing her arms about. Lucy waited a moment before continuing forward. "If you do that, then you forget how to manage things like pain and loss. You have to feel everything, or it can destroy any sense of humanity."

Loke's lips twisted into a wry smile. "I don't disagree," was his response. He was quiet for a few minutes as they continued on their way. When he spoke again, his question took Lucy off guard. "The bond between you and Natsu…do you regret it now? After everything it's caused you?"

"No," said Lucy immediately. She didn't have to even think about her answer. She would never regret meeting Natsu, even if her ties to him might have led to her apparent death and everything that was now happening to her. "Maybe it got me into some weird situations, but it was never Natsu's fault. Besides. How could I regret something that makes me so happy?" Her smile faded as loss swamped her for a moment, drowning her in its tidal waves. She missed Natsu.

Loke didn't respond, merely hummed, and the pair didn't talk again for a while after that.

Natsu couldn't help but laugh when Wendy, thrilled to be out of the mountains, began cheering quietly and skipping along the dead grass that apparently signaled to her that they'd left the mountains behind. Happy and Charle, delighting in Wendy's joy, began bouncing and playing along with her. Happy even darted in to bat playfully at Natsu's ankle before joining them again.

It was nice to see Wendy so happy. It had been a while since either of them had felt good enough to breathe and enjoy themselves in some way. He still kept a sharp eye out for Vhalis, which they'd have to be more cautious about now that they were entering areas that had once been far more populated.

Wendy spun on her heel to smile at Natsu, her eyes shining with excitement. "How long do you think it'll take us to get to Hyacinth?"

Natsu thought it over. It wasn't like he knew how Lucy had kept track of the time that had passed. She had definitely done so differently than he had. He'd simply counted days here and there, tracking time more by the passing of seasons than anything else. That wouldn't work now when the seasons pretty much blended together. Lucy had occasionally mentioned specific times and dates; Wendy had understood them, though he hadn't.

"A while," was Natsu's unhelpful answer. "Remember how long it took us to get even this far, Wendy?"

She made a face. "I guess. I miss vehicles. We could have gotten there in a couple days."

Pain shredded through him. Lucy had made that same complaint more than once. The last time she'd complained about it, it had been days before they'd entered the mountains. "I wish we had a car," she'd whined to him. "It would have taken us half the time to get here, and then we'd have more supplies to actually take into the mountains with us."

Swallowing the agony throbbing with each beat in his chest, Natsu folded his hands behind his head and eyed the blue skies above. He took in the weak sunlight with its bright but useless rays. They did nothing to warm Wendy, who pulled her hat further down over her ears. The cold seasons had only just truly started, if he was right about the time of year.

Not for the first time, Natsu thought about trying to go back to Valhalla if only to see what had happened there. Perhaps something had changed in the time since he'd tried last. Maybe Mavis was there, observing him and judging his every move. He didn't really care if Mavis was or wasn't; it would have been nice to ensure Wendy kept warm as they traveled.

"Natsu!"

He sighed, exasperated and amused at the same time. "Wendy," he replied drily, looking over at his friend – only to realize she wasn't there. Natsu stopped dead in his tracks, worried, and found her peering westwards. He backtracks to stand beside her and followed her gaze. He didn't see anything, really. Nothing but grass and sparse trees, which had thinned the further from the mountain they went.

"Look," said Wendy, pointing. "I think I can see smoke!"

Natsu's amusement vanished. He dropped his arms and narrowed his eyes as he studied the haze she had pointed out. It wasn't large enough to signify some kind of big wildfire they'd need to outpace; rather, it seemed controlled. He wasn't sure many others would have noticed.

But then, Wendy had likely tasted it on the wind her mother controlled.

"Should we check it out, Natsu?" Wendy asked with some hesitation. "I mean, if it's someone who survived like me, they might have more supplies we could trade for, but…I don't think I want to go near them if they're going to end up like…" She trailed off. She needn't finish her sentence. Natsu knew fully well who she meant. She feared strangers just as much as Lucy had.

Natsu did a thoughtful check of the area around them. They'd come out in a different place than they'd entered the mountains, which explained how they might have missed something all that time ago. He glanced at Wendy. "How low are we on supplies for you?"

"We'd be okay to keep going, but it wouldn't hurt to stock up, just in case," admitted Wendy. "Do you think it's more than one person?"

"Won't know unless we check it out." Natsu let out a soft breath, considering it. What would LUcy have told him? Would she have wanted to investigate or avoid people all together? He didn't know, especially after everything with Erigor. But…at the same time…Lucy had always taken advantage of every chance to stock up on more supplies, even when they had plenty. "We'll never have enough in a world like this," she'd told him when he'd asked why just once.

"Why don't we get close," suggested Natsu slowly, "and then I'll go check it out to make sure it's safe? If it seems okay, I'll grab you."

"I don't think I want to be left behind after that Vhalis found us," Wendy admitted. She eyed the smoke for a few more moments before lifting her chin and gripping the straps of her backpack. "I'll go with you. Let's check it out. If they have better supplies, it'll be good for us, and maybe they'll have some things they don't need. Hyacinth has different ideas on value, so we could collect a few things for trading."

Natsu thought Lucy would have been proud of Wendy at that moment. He touched his pocket, ensuring Scorpio's key was there. He'd use it to protect Wendy regardless of how much it would hurt him. "Sounds good to me. Let's go."

The smoke turned out to be coming from the small chimney of a home on the outskirts of an abandoned neighborhood. Natsu kept his hand tight around Wendy's as they eyed the dark blue house from a small distance away. Smoke curled steadily over the roof. The windows were boarded up. Natsu had no doubt that even with all that, the resident would likely be able to see them.

"Ready?" asked Natsu. Wendy nodded, making sure Charle and Happy were close. The felines crouched together at their feet, tails flicking.

Together, the odd group cautiously approached the blue house. The cats kept quiet, trotting alongside them as if they knew how serious the situation was. As they got closer to the front door, Wendy dropped Natsu's hand in favor of scooping Charle into her arms and hugging her for comfort. It left Natsu to hesitantly knock, as Lucy had always taught him was polite to do.

Silence fell as they waited to see if someone answered. They waited so long that Natsu wondered if there was actually someone inside or if a Vhalis was going to burst out. Fortunately, however – at least, Natsu hoped it was fortunate – the door cracked open. "What do you want?" barked the person on the other side. Natsu furrowed his brow, startled. The voice was familiar.

Wendy smiled nervously and spoke up when Natsu didn't. "Hi! We saw the smoke and wanted to see if you'd trade supplies with us?"
The sharp cackle of angry laughter was familiar enough that Natsu nearly pulled a muscle in his neck when he jerked back. "Porlyusica?"

A pause, and then the door cracked open a little wider to reveal the ever-angry woman on the other side. Her eyes were as sharp as ever, her pale pink hair drawn out of her face. She swept her gaze over Natsu with distaste. "What do you want?" she repeated, lip curled. "I have no desire to trade with you."

"You know her?" whispered Wendy, astonished, and her voice drew Porlyusica's attention. Her eyes flashed with surprise that came as quickly as it went. Of course she'd know who Wendy was on sight.

"Yeah." Natsu winced. "She doesn't like me."

"Why should I?" challenged Porlyusica. "Your famine–"

Hastily, Natsu cut her off. He didn't want to talk about things like that – at least, not when they were still somewhat in the open. "I know, I know." Porlyusica did have a good reason to detest him as much as she did. "Look, can we come in or not?" He gestured to Wendy. "Wendy's cold, and like she said, we want to trade supplies. We won't stay long."

Porlyusica eyed Wendy, scanning her from head to toe. Finally, she yanked the door open all the way and stepped aside, grumbling. "If you bring the lost souls around, I'll turn you into soup. Both of you. And if one of your cats so much as looks at something in my house wrong…"

Lightly, Natsu told her as he ushered Wnedy inside, "Grandeeney wouldn't appreciate that." He knew Porlyusica would do something if they made her angry enough. She had in the past, and she was always itching for a reason to torment him some more.

Wendy craned her head to smile bright at Porlyusica, chirping, "You know Grandeeney?"

Much to Natsu's relief, Porlyusica's gaze softened just a fraction as she retorted, "Of course I know my own sister."

Wendy's lips parted and shock flashed across her face. Porlyusica slammed the door behind them, deadbolting it. Wendy began sputtering, spouting a flurry of questions that Porlyusica readily ignored. Natsu looked around as she led them into the house, taking in the lack of decorations and carefully arranged furniture. It was a home that was less of a place for comfort than it was for work, suggesting that the spirit had resided in it long before the Fall. The collection of herbs and plants in the kitchen she had guided them into confirmed it. There was no way she could have gathered such plantlife in the world they currently occupied.

"Natsu," whispered Wendy urgently as he snagged his cat to prevent Happy from clawing anything. "Is she really my aunt?"

Porlyusica fired them a withering look that told them to stay where they were before vanishing through a door. "Yes and no," he said with a hint of a smile. "She was created from the same breeze Grandeeney was." It made sense to him, but Wendy didn't seem to understand entirely. Not that she cared that she understood.

Wendy sucked in a sharp breath, hardly able to contain herself as she began bouncing beside him. Charle huffed a protest. "I didn't know that Grandeeney had a sister!" She glanced at him suddenly, frowning. "Why doesn't she like you? She said something about a famine–"

She might as well know, before Porlyusica ratted him out. "When I first became a god, I was really upset with everything and I caused a famine. Porlyusica…she sticks with certain communities, living apart from them but watching over them at the same time. The famine wiped out not one, but two communities she liked." He felt horrible about it. He regretted that famine with every inch of his soul, but time couldn't turn back. He'd have turned it back to save Lucy a thousand times over if it could. He couldn't take back what he'd done, so he'd done his best to prevent it from happening again.

"Oh." Wendy stopped bouncing. "Did…have you done other things like that, Natsu?"

"No," said Natsu firmly. "I haven't. And I won't. Even when I'm probably supposed to." There had been a few times when the world had demanded such circumstances, and Natsu had always done his poorest work during those times. He did his best to prevent as many deaths as he could and prided himself on it, even as an understanding Mavis gently scolded him for it.

Natsu focused back onto Porlyusica when she returned, arms laden with supplies. He was taken aback by the number of things she carried. She must have had a cellar, if he was to guess. "I'm only giving you these out of respect for Grandeeney and because I have no need of them," she said sharply. "And to get you out of here faster."

Wendy's jaw dropped and she uttered a strangled sound of pure delight. "There's hand warmers!" she cried, dropping to her knees as Porlyusica set them on the floor. "And there's a whole tent!"

She continued to ramble about a variety of things, none of which Natsu knew anything about. She was excited enough that Natsu dropped his semi-empty backpack for her to fill alongside the one Lucy had once carried. Happy nearly managed to wriggle free as he did so, but Natsu tightened his arms around him and said, "Thank you, Porlyusica."

She clicked her tongue dismissively. "It's only because of Grandeeney," Porlyusica reminded him gruffly. The way her eyes warmed just a fraction when she glanced at Wendy told him otherwise. "In exchange, you can tell me what has become of Valhalla." Natsu sighed heavily. He was tired of everyone asking if he knew anything more than they did. He was about to answer with the usual comments he made – that he knew as much as everyone else did and maybe mention what Igneel had suspected – when Porlyusica spoke again. "The death god was useless – kept rambling about how souls keep disappearing on him."

Even Wendy glanced up. "Gray was here?"

Porlyusica folded her arms, scowling furiously. "You've met the brat? The young gods are always the rudest of the bunch." She threw Natsu a pointed glare before returning her gaze to Wendy. "He was restless. Said something about not being able to find some soul he'd promised to take care of."

Natsu didn't hear anything but the ringing in his ears after that. Porlyusica said something or another, but he was more focused on the fact that there could only be one soul she was referring to. The hum that burst from his chest was keening, loud, and vicious, silencing whatever she'd been saying. "What soul?" he seethed.

Porlyusica was taken aback, though interested enough that she didn't snap back at him. She simply studied him closely. "Why does it matter?"

Ash spewed as he heaved for breath, fury cracking over his flesh and charring it. The smell of smoke grew heavier in the air. Happy finally squirmed free and fled for the safety of Wendy's lap. Only the spark of fear that so briefly crossed Wendy's face convinced Natsu to take a steadying breath, forcing that rage back. Through gritted teeth, Natsu said, "Because he promised to take care of a soul that means everything to me."

"It's not the only soul in this chaos, boy." Porlyusica showed no emotion as she said it. "One soul is not worth more than any other."

Wendy, of all people, replied quietly, "Depends on which soul you compare it to; some can rot in the garbage for all the evil they create."

Porlyusica's laughter was sharp and piercing. "So much like Grandeeney, yet your mortal heart bleeds through. That's the problem with all you gods and demigods. Mavis cannot erase humanity from you. It will be the end of you all one day." She strode across her kitchen and reached for a wooden spoon, rapping it sharply on a bot that she'd left simmering over the stove. The ringing sound made the hair on the back of Natsu's neck stand up, and when she cast a look over her shoulder, power gleamed in her gaze. "There are more important things to worry about than a singular lost soul."

"Not to me," Natsu fired back. The rest of the world could burn for all he cared.

"Is…is Lucy a Vhalis now?" Wendy whispered. Natsu glanced at her. The smile she'd worn had vanished. Her fingers were tangled anxiously in Happy's fur. "Is…is she out there hurting others like the rest of them?"

Porlyusica stirred the mixture she'd been creating in her pot. "No," she said after a moment, and Natsu narrowed his eyes at her, wondering just how much she knew about Lucy's supposedly missing soul. It didn't turn out to be that much more, for all she said was, "From the sounds of it, the missing soul wasn't lost like the rest of them. It doesn't avoid those that would give it peace. It's truly lost – missing. That's all he would say about it." She suddenly turned a nasty look on the pair. "Are you done yet? If so, get out. What happens to lost souls and the gods is something I could care less about."

Natsu gestured for Wendy to finish picking things out, lost in thought. It wasn't certain that it was Lucy's soul that was missing, but Natsu couldn't imagine how it could be anyone else. It was the only soul Gray had promised to watch over. Promised him. Despite their past arguments, Natsu knew Gray would have taken that seriously.

Which left Natsu to wonder where the hell Lucy's spirit would have gone.

For those who said it was a bad idea that Gray and the others keep the status of Lucy's missing soul from Natsu...absolutely correct. ;)

Surprise! Porlyusica! I didn't actually intend to bring her in initially, but here we are, and no regrets.

On another note...I have decided to take another small break! I'm sorry, guys, but I've had some stuff happen in real life unfortunately. I will need to prioritize that so I can come back and write more for everyone to enjoy. I'm not sure when I'll return, but have no fears, it won't be forever! I plan to be back in July at the earliest, August at the latest. I hope everyone can understand, and I'll see you later this summer!

Thanks to wonderful reviewers (takeagamble27, XxStar'sDustxX, AnimusLunari777, ShanpaiUniverse, Talia D'vile, InfiniteMiste, Guest #1, Lyra121, jfsmothie, Meow Orbit, happy966, stranger1999, Star-Queen Lucy, MPrime, Roxy-Love145, & galactiaconstella!) as well as those who favorited and followed!