A/N: Not to sound like a broken record, but I'm so grateful y'all take time out of your days to read this. Technology and I are still on the outs, so I'm sorry I'm not replying to reviews, but every single one means so much and I get such a big smile when I see a review, follow, or favorite. Thanks for sticking with me:)

Uncomfortable Truths

Once they got all the hugging out of their system, everyone sat back in a circle and settled in for a more serious conversation. At a nod from Carlisle, Jasper picked up where he left off and continued telling Bella an overview of his story.

Bella listened raptly. She was determined to stay by Edward's side for eternity, so she wanted to learn everything she could.

She'd always said she wanted to be part of the vampire world, but what she really meant was that she wanted to be part of Edward's world. She'd given very little thought to what it meant to become a vampire, all she'd been focused on was being like her boyfriend. She saw the Cullens as the pinnacle of perfection - immortal and forever frozen in their youth, as beautiful and perfect as marble statues.

So Rosalie had been right, Bella actually knew very little about the vampire world as a whole. The only red-eyed vampires she'd met before that evening were the three nomads who had turned her life upside down and the Volturi. And while the kings may have been civilized in a way James, Victoria, and Laurent weren't, they were hardly a friendly group. Felix had nearly ripped Edward's head off right in front of her, and being surrounded by all those red eyes had frightened her.

Aside from what she knew of the Denalis, she'd never given any thought to the possibility that the Cullens had other friends, or that those friends wouldn't share their diet. She never thought about the fact that becoming a vampire meant joining not just the very small world Edward and the rest of the perfect Cullens inhabited - that of those 'moral' enough to only hunt animals - but the wider vampire world. When she thought about what she desperately wanted her future to be, she didn't think of it as becoming a vampire, she thought of it only as becoming a Cullen - one of those perfect beings with golden eyes who stayed young and beautiful for eternity.

Bella certainly never saw herself even mingling with human-hunting vampires, never mind actually being friends with them, caring about them. She assumed their red eyes alone meant they didn't have any morals.

But Jasper was right, too. The Cullens were the anomaly in their world, not the vampires who'd become his family a century ago.

And as uncomfortable as it made her, as much as she wanted to protest, Jasper pointing out the length of time he'd loved the people sitting in that clearing was forcing Bella to question some of her assumptions about herself and Edward. She didn't think of Edward as being over a hundred years old, she just thought of him as seventeen. Her love for him felt so huge, so overwhelming, that she believed she loved him more than anyone had ever loved another person. But could that possibly be true when she looked at her and Edward's love in relation to a love like that between Carlisle and Esme, who'd been mated and married for almost a century? Or the love between Rosalie and Emmett?

And it wasn't only the romantic love she had to reconsider. The unconditional love between Alice and Jasper, who weren't mates, was something she couldn't really wrap her head around. She barely had any real friends, let alone a friendship like the one that existed between those two. They'd been best friends for over seventy years and didn't even need to speak to communicate anymore. Bella could barely communicate effectively even when she was using actual words.

The love between Jasper, Peter, and Charlotte was clear even to Bella, who admittedly understood very little about the true nature of friendship or how it should work. They'd loved each other longer than a human lifetime and they'd all made difficult and selfless choices that put the other person first, rather than themselves.

Bella had done a couple misguided and foolish things under the guise of being selfless, of sacrificing herself for the people she loved, but in her day to day life, she nearly always put her own wants and needs first. She stopped coming to Forks to see Charlie because she didn't like the weather. She rebuffed his attempts to spend time with her because his hobbies weren't ones she enjoyed. She leaned heavily on Jacob, needing to be around him in order to function properly, regardless of the fact that she knew she was hurting him. She knew, but she pushed that aside, disregarding his feelings, because she needed him.

She even put her own desires first when it came to the boy she professed to love so much. She met him and instantly became consumed by him, and she pushed and pushed to uncover his secret - even going as far as to manipulate Jacob by flirting with him - even though Edward had implored her to leave well enough alone. And that was just the beginning. She continued to disregard his feelings and concerns, even while becoming silently angry when he did the same to her.

Probably the biggest, most obvious example of her shortsightedness and her tendency to only think about herself was her desire to become a vampire. She wanted to be changed almost from the first moment she discovered Edward's secret, refusing to hear any of the valid reasons he had for not wanting her to be changed. She didn't think about any of the things she would be losing, she didn't think about the anguish her parents would go through losing their only child, she just wanted to be like Edward. That was the only thing that mattered to her.

So while it was an illuminating conversation, it was also a disquieting one that was forcing Bella to take a hard look at some uncomfortable truths about her own life, her own choices, her own perception of the world.

Jasper had been paying attention to Bella's emotions as he talked, with Peter and Charlotte adding things here and there, and he was curious about all the doubt and uncertainty she was feeling. It was obvious to him that she was questioning herself a little and he wondered if that would translate into any actual changes in how she behaved. Was it possible that she was realizing it was time for her to finally grow up a little?

He didn't have to wait all that long to find out the answer.

Jasper ended his story at the point where he walked into the diner to get out of the rain and found Alice waiting. After that, the story wasn't his own, or at least not only his own, and it wasn't his place to share things about the other Cullens that they may not want to share.

"That's a nice story," Bella smiled when he finished talking.

There was silence for a few long moments, then Peter let out an incredulous laugh. "Really? Nice? Jasper's story from 1863 to 1948 is a lot of things, but I'm not sure 'nice' is one of them."

Bella's cheeks flamed red when she realized that everyone in the clearing was looking at her with expressions similar to the two red-eyes vampires who still scared her a little. "I mean the last part. The part where you met Alice," she corrected herself, looking at Jasper.

Jasper just nodded, thinking maybe that was really the crux of why Bella had some trouble when it came to having a realistic perception of the world. She'd listened to an overview of eighty-five years of his life - and even an overview with very little detail couldn't hide the fact that most of those years were pure torture - and all she'd focused on was the last two minutes of all those years. Jasper did some quick math and internally rolled his eyes a little. Just those eighty-five years of his life consisted of over forty-four million minutes, and Bella zeroed in on precisely two of them.

Bella had never struck him as a particularly optimistic person who always saw the glass as being half-full, so he didn't think it was that she was just trying to look on the bright side. After all, this was a girl who knew she was joining them in the clearing that evening specifically for the purpose of the vamps training the wolves, and she'd immediately jumped to the completely wrong conclusion because she had a tendency to always assume the worst.

So no, Jasper didn't think she was just trying to look on the bright side. She was simply brushing aside nearly eighty-five entire years because she only wanted to see the happily ever after, not all the pain and suffering along the way. Jasper may try to see those years through a positive lens, focusing more on what he'd gained in that time - most importantly Peter and Charlotte - but from what he could tell, Bella tended to see things through a negative, more pessimistic lens.

Unless she was contemplating becoming a vampire in order to stay with Edward for eternity. That was the one area where she seemed to sweep aside all the negatives, completely disregarding them as unimportant because the endgame of becoming a vampire was all that mattered to her.

"Esme said your story would help me understand our current situation," Bella said after shoving aside her embarrassment at making yet another misstep in front of the family she would be joining eventually. "I don't understand what your life before becoming a Cullen has to do with Victoria."

Jasper hesitated for a moment, thinking maybe that was a question for her mate to answer. He looked at Edward, who gave him a resigned nod.

"Bella," Edward said gently, hoping to soften the blow a little. "We think Victoria might be using the armies in the south as a template for her means of revenge."

Bella appeared confused for a minute before her eyes went wide and she looked at Edward full of shock. "You think Victoria is creating a newborn army to kill me?"

Leah scowled at her. "Not everything is all about you, Bella," she snapped. "If Victoria is doing what we think she's doing, I think it's safe to assume she's looking to kill more than a single human."

"Fine," Bella snapped back in irritation at the wolf who disliked her so much. "You think she's creating a newborn army to kill all of us," she corrected, pointing to herself and the Cullens while looking at Jasper.

Jasper nodded, pushing aside his irritation that Bella was making a distinction between the vamps and the wolves. Victoria had been playing with the pack for months, and he had absolutely zero doubts that she was hoping to take out some of the wolves along with his family. "Yes. We can't be entirely sure, of course, but we're making plans based on that assumption."

Bella looked at all the Cullens, her mind and emotions a tangled, panicked mess. When she looked at Edward, all she could think was that she would do anything to keep him or his family from being hurt because of her. "Then I'll give myself to Victoria," she said with a sense of steely resolve. Yes, that was the solution. "If she has me, she'll leave the rest of you alone."

Leah scoffed and rolled her eyes "Because that worked out so well for everyone the last time you thought you were making a selfless sacrifice?"

"Leah," Carlisle said quietly before she could go on. He wasn't her father, and he wasn't trying to scold her, but he did want the conversation to remain civil.

"What?" Leah huffed, too annoyed to keep her mouth shut. "All she had to do was tell the vampires who were tasked with protecting her that James called her and what he said. Instead, she ran off on her own - willing to leave her mate behind to mourn her death for eternity, I might add - so everyone had to make a mad dash through an entire fucking city just to rescue her in time, all because she thought she knew best."

"And then Edward blamed us for losing her," Alice grumbled under her breath, too quietly for Bella to hear.

Esme cut in before the conversation could break down any further. "Bella, I'm not sure you turning yourself over to Victoria would solve anything," she said gently. "Not only do we not want any harm to come to you, but I don't believe your death is Victoria's ultimate goal. Going off what Laurent told you, I believe your death is her means of hurting this family, hurting Edward."

"A mate for a mate," Alice added.

Edward nodded, his chest clenching both at the thought of losing Bella again - this time permanently - and at the knowledge that his mate didn't think about what would happen to him if she let Victoria kill her.

Jasper felt Edward's emotions shift and couldn't help but sympathize with the boy he'd considered a brother for seventy years. He sort of understood Bella's knee-jerk reaction, but offering to 'sacrifice' herself only showed her inability to think beyond herself. Maybe she really thought it would protect the Cullens, but that was where her thinking ended, never looking one step further.

"Bella…" he started, then trailed off, not sure if it was his place to point any of this out to the girl. When Alice caught his eye and nodded, he figured she approved. "Bella, when you got to the clearing tonight, Rosalie made a comment that you and Edward don't always consider the consequences of whatever you're contemplating. You both act before thinking," he said, quickly shaking his head when she started to protest. "I'm not trying to insult you, I'm really not. But before you try to come up with some bizarre scenario where you hand yourself over to Victoria in order to 'spare' us, maybe try to look at the bigger picture. First of all, we're all perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves. Second, Esme is right, Victoria isn't going to suddenly have a change of heart and leave us in peace if you do that. But most importantly, think about what that would do to Edward," he said, trying not to let his irritation show that she was willing to basically destroy Edward without a second thought.

"Think about what happened when Edward thought you were dead," Carlisle reminded her softly. "The thought of an eternity without his mate was enough to make him seek death for himself as well."

"So you're willing to leave your mate behind again, either to mourn you for eternity or to jump in the nearest fire," Leah snapped, glaring at Bella. She didn't particularly like Edward, but she'd never wish the pain of losing a mate on him.

Bella felt shame bloom inside her. While she'd been listening to Jasper's story, she'd thought about all the ways she brushed aside hurting other people, not thinking about their feelings. But here she was, not thirty minutes later, once again unable to think things through. She hadn't thought about it from anyone else's perspective, hadn't thought about what it would do to Edward. Those uncomfortable truths sure were hitting her in the face one after another.

So if she couldn't keep the Cullens safe by sacrificing herself, what could she do? Bella frowned as her mind raced. There had to be another solution. After a few moments, she looked up at Edward with a little more calculation in her eyes than she probably realized. "You need to change me. Now. Not after graduation, but right away. If I'm a vampire, I can help," she said firmly, believing it was the perfect solution. She got her biggest wish granted without having to wait, and she could fight right alongside Edward.

There was a heavy silence in the clearing for a few moments, and again it was one of the red-eyed vampires who broke it.

"You want to become a baby vamp so you can help fight a newborn army?" Charlotte asked, working hard to smother an amused smile.

Bella nodded. "Yes. If I'm a vampire I can fight alongside you. And from everything Jasper said, my newborn strength would make me an asset."

Charlotte smiled at her. "Aw. Bless your heart."

Bella grinned, thinking she'd swayed at least one of them into thinking she was right, but Jasper and Peter both snorted a laugh. 'Bless your heart' may sound like a nice sentiment but it was a southern-ism that was the very opposite of a compliment. Edward scowled at them, but they both just shrugged. Bella's idea was stupid and they all knew it.

"Did you not hear everything else Jasper said about the newborn year?" Paul asked a little incredulously. "You know, about the mindless rage or lack of critical thinking skills or being consumed with nothing but your thirst and wanting to drain every human in a fifty mile radius? Did you just skip over all that and think 'cool, I'll be strong'?"

Bella waved a dismissive hand, because no, she hadn't thought about those things. And she didn't plan to. "I'll be fine. With his history, I'm sure he can teach me what I need to know quickly."

And boy, did those red-eyed vamps go from amused to furious in half a heartbeat.

"Didn't your soon-to-be family just point out that you don't think about anyone but yourself? Do you think maybe, just maybe, you should listen to them?" Peter snapped. "You're an eighteen-year old human. There isn't a vampire in this clearing younger than eighty-five, so don't you think they might know a little more than you?"

"Peter," Jasper said softly.

"Don't," Peter growled, turning his glare on his brother. "She just listened to the hell you lived through training Maria's newborns for seven and a half decades and she just casually says you can train her too, like it's no big deal?"

Charlotte reached across and grabbed Jasper's hand in an iron grip. Jasper knew what she was doing and just sighed a little, knowing it was futile to get them to quit it when they were in protective mode. The rest of the Cullens were equally resigned.

The three wolves were alert, but not alarmed. Pissed at Bella's casual disregard of the empath? Absolutely. But not alarmed. They all knew what Charlotte was doing and they thought it might just be a good thing. Maybe it was what Bella needed to wake the fuck up.

Charlotte pushed Jasper's sleeve all the way up and shoved his arm in front of the human's face. "Look," she growled. When Edward put his hand up to try and block her, Charlotte growled at him, too. "Move your hand before I take it off."

Bella just sat there frozen in fear. What the hell was happening? What had she said that was so wrong?

"Look," Charlotte growled at the human.

Bella took a frightened, shuddering breath and looked down at Jasper's arm. Then she looked a little closer. Then she looked at her own wrist. She frowned a little and put it beside Jasper's arm and looked even closer. When she saw that her scar matched what she was seeing on every inch of his skin, she gasped and looked at Jasper with wide, shocked eyes. "What happened to you?" she breathed. James biting her was the most painful thing she'd ever felt, and Jasper was covered in the same kind of scars.

"Newborns happened," Charlotte snapped as Jasper yanked his arm from her grasp and pulled his sleeve back down. "Don't just casually say Jasper can train you when you don't know what the hell it means to train a newborn. We left the south behind for a reason."

"We went back for Jasper so he wouldn't have to live that life anymore," Peter added, his eyes blazing. "He's already having to deal with the possibility that an army is coming for his family because of you and your mate. Don't you think that's enough? You really think you have a right to add to that burden just because you're so desperate to become a vampire and aren't capable of thinking about anyone but yourself?"

"Enough," Carlisle cut in, not wanting the situation to escalate any further. "Bella, think about what turning you now would entail," he said gently. "You would have to immediately disappear. Your father is the police chief of this town. I can't imagine a world where he wouldn't utilize every tool at his disposal to try and find you. It would mean the suspicion landing squarely on our family, especially if Edward disappeared with you. I understand your desire to help in this situation, but I'd ask that you please think about the consequences of what you're proposing."

Bella again felt shame bloom inside her. She hadn't thought about what Charlie would do if she disappeared, hadn't thought about the fact that he'd probably have every police department in the country looking for her. She hadn't thought about the Cullens being under suspicion and scrutiny if she suddenly vanished or what that would mean for them.

"If we fake my death, he–"

Bella was cut off when Leah growled and lunged for her. Only Jasper anticipating her move kept the wolf from getting her hands around Bella's throat. Edward grabbed Bella's arm, pulling her behind him.

"You won't have to fake your death, you selfish fucking bitch," Leah snarled, struggling to get out of Jasper's hold.

Esme opened her mouth to try and get everyone to calm down, but Jasper cut in before she could say anything. He stood up, keeping Leah wrapped up in his arms, and glared down at Bella, who was peeking out from behind Edward's back. "The best thing you can do in this situation is let us deal with it. I get that you think of yourself as being self-sufficient, but you're human. You stand no chance of facing Victoria or an army on your own. I'm sorry that bothers you, but that doesn't make it any less true."

Seth and Paul stood up, along with Peter, Charlotte, and Alice.

Peter shook his head in irritation at the selfish girl. "You're so desperate to throw away your human life and human family so you can join your mate's family, but have you ever given any thought to what it actually means to be a Cullen? They are loyal to each other in everything they do. Most of them are thoughtful enough and unselfish enough to consider every member of the coven before they decide on a course of action," he said, glaring at Edward when he said 'most of them' and then glaring at the human. "As far as I can tell, y'all are a perfect match."

Before Bella could blink, they were gone, leaving her alone in the clearing with only Edward, Carlisle, and Esme. She felt tears sting her eyes, a combination of shame and embarrassment. She took a shaky breath and pulled herself from Edward's grasp. "Can you take me home?" she asked quietly, knowing she had a whole lot of thinking to do, because she couldn't keep trying to avoid facing all of those uncomfortable truths about herself.

Carlisle looked at her with sympathy in his eyes. "Bella–"

"I just want to go home," Bella interrupted, not wanting them to see her tears. "Please," she added, looking at Edward.

Edward gave her a resigned nod. Not a single part of the evening had gone as planned, and as much as he hated looking at his own behavior or that of his mate critically, he knew he was going to have to take a long, hard look at how the two of them had acted. Not just that night, but from the very moment they met. The family had been telling him since the beginning that he needed to communicate with Bella openly and honestly, but he'd been dismissive of their advice. Now, however, he was starting to see they were right.

"I'll see you at home later," he said to Carlisle and Esme as he helped Bella onto his back.

Both just nodded and watched them leave, and Esme sighed and leaned her head on her mate's shoulder. "What a mess."

Carlisle wrapped an arm around her and tucked her closer against his side. "It'll all work out. We'll get through this just like we've gotten through everything else life has thrown at us."

Esme sighed again and stood up. "Come on, let's go check on the others," she said, holding her hand out.

Carlisle took it with a soft smile. There may be some rough waters ahead of them, but he had no doubt they'd get through it together.

"Would y'all please let me calm your asses down before I completely lose my shit?" Jasper asked through gritted teeth as he set his pissed off mate on her feet a few miles from the baseball clearing.

Alice, Peter, and Charlotte all cringed a little. "Sorry," they said in unison, trying to push their anger aside.

Leah glared at Jasper, annoyed he wanted to manipulate her emotions, but then saw that his eyes were black with fury. Her fury. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, swallowing around the lump in her throat at the realization that she was hurting her imprint. "Yeah, go ahead," she nodded.

Jasper didn't even try to do it slowly or gently, he just flooded the whole group with enough calm tranquility that everyone's shoulders immediately dropped and Seth's eyes started to close.

"Holy shit, that would be useful as hell on nights I can't sleep," Paul laughed.

Jasper smiled at him, finally able to breathe freely without rage strangling him. "Leah said you can see your house from the Clearwater's. If you can't sleep, I can knock you out from there."

Leah barely even registered their voices, she just wrapped her arms around Jasper's waist and pressed her forehead against his chest. "I'm so sorry," she said with a little sniffle.

"It's fine, sweetheart," he said softly. "I'm fine, I promise. Look at my eyes."

Leah pulled back enough to look at his handsome face and saw that his eyes were back to their normal golden shade. She looked at Alice, Peter, and Charlotte and saw their eyes were no longer black either.

Charlotte smiled at Leah and put her hand on her shoulder. "It wasn't your fault," she assured her. "Jasper feels all of our emotions stronger than most," she said, gesturing to Peter, Alice, and herself. "With you being his mate, he probably feels yours stronger, too. So it was the weight of all of us, not just you."

"It's true," Jasper nodded, tugging Leah back into his arms.

"Can you imagine if Rose had been there?" Peter chuckled. "We'd have had to go to extreme measures to keep him from ripping Bella's throat out under that additional weight."

"What sort of extreme measures?" Leah asked a little suspiciously, imagining Peter and Charlotte pinning a snarling Jasper to the ground. Maybe removing a limb or two.

"Nothing permanent," was all Peter said, shrugging a little.

Seth laughed and shook his head. "You vamps are weird."

The vamps all just nodded and shrugged. They certainly couldn't deny that.

Leah pulled herself away from Jasper's arms and started pacing, trying to keep her anger down to a low simmer. "What the hell is wrong with her?" she asked, though she wasn't actually talking to anyone specifically or looking for an answer. "How does she just casually throw out faking her death like that? Does she not know what that would do to Charlie? To her mom? Does she know and just not care? Argh! Why is she so fucking selfish?" she growled, her anger accidentally getting the better of her.

Jasper only hesitated for a second before answering her. "I think she might be starting to question an awful lot about herself," he said, then laughed a little when Leah glared at him. "Wait, just hear me out. I know all the things she said out loud were infuriating, and she meant them when she said them. But from her emotions, I think she also paid attention to everything we said. She might not have thought through the consequences herself, but she did hear us when we pointed them out."

"So… what? She's just going to suddenly grow up?" Leah asked him skeptically. "She's going to suddenly realize that she and Edward aren't actually the center of the universe?"

Jasper just smiled, knowing his mate thought he was full of shit. "I'm just saying I think she might surprise us. I doubt it'll happen overnight, growing up doesn't usually happen in a perfectly straight line, but the potential is definitely there."

"Well, I still don't like her," Charlotte huffed. "What was Edward thinking through all that?" she asked, more curious than annoyed.

"I'm not the mind reader in the coven," Jasper laughed, but then answered more seriously when she gave him a very unimpressed look. "Honestly? I think the two of them are going to be having some uncomfortable conversations in the very near future. He wasn't happy with pretty much anything she said, but he wasn't angry the way we were, he was hurt. Between our reaction and seeing she's hurting him, it might just be the wake-up call she needs."

Leah crossed her arms and glared in the general direction of Bella's house. "Let's hope so. We've got enough to deal with without adding the fuel of her petty, teenage drama to the fire. And if either of them do anything to put the people I love in even more danger…" she trailed off, knowing she didn't need to voice the threat out loud.

Jasper smiled and pulled her back into his arms. He almost teasingly reminded her that she was still a teenager herself, but then thought better of it when she sighed and melted against him. It thrilled him right down to his toes that she got just as much comfort from him as he got from her.

Leah was passionate and thoughtful and fierce and loyal, and Jasper was so, so grateful that fate had decided that, in addition to all those wonderful things, she was also his.