(as the title is shown the timpani fill from the beginning of "Sugarland Shimmy" plays)
It was a bright morning in the inkwell isles. The sun was shining down on the forest creating intricate patterns..
Suddenly the door of a small cottage in the woods slammed open and two ceramic brothers walked out.
"Cuphead, where are we going!" Mugman demanded
"We are going on a quest," Cuphead replied
"What? where? how? Why?"
"Here" cuphead announced as he gestured to a strangely rectangular hole in the side of a tree.
"No ,no ,no ,no ,no" Mugman said "We areNOTgoing back to sugarland"
"Awwwww, come on" Cuphead pleaded "we are all out of candy, lets
just go in, grab some candy and leave"
Mugman thought for a bit
"Ehh, i don't see why not. We need the candy"
Cuphead reached into his pocket and took out what looked to be two handkerchiefs. He started to unfold them but they weren't normal hankies, after they had been completely unfolded they created two large barrels, each with a spade in.
"Come on Mugsy, you take one and i'll take the other. we'll just fill, em up and leave"
"Are you sure about..."
"3,2,1 GO!" Cuphead yelled as he dashed into the portal with Mugman reluctantly trailing behind.
Cuphead immediately started to industriously shovel candy into his barrel.
Mugman rolled his barrel to the hot fudge spring and filled up the barrel. He also pulled a lolly pop from the ground and placed a flapjack underneath the barrel and "icing-boarded" (like snowboarding) down the frosting hills, using the lolly pop stick to guide his ride.
Part way through shovelling, Cuphead got tired, so he jogged over to a Redbull tree, grabbed a can and drank it. Suddenly his pupils dilated and new energy flowed through his veins (not sure if Cuphead even has a circulatory system)
He sprinted back to the barrel and started shovelling with barely subsonic speed. As Cuphead dug his shovel into the ground he hit something hard. It was a jawbreaker. This wouldn't have been an issue except that when he hit the jawbreaker ,it made such a loud noise, it woke Baroness Von Bon Bon.
She immediately woke her castle and charged at the cups
"I'm gonna get you BOYS!" she screamed
Cuphead put the lid back on the barrel and tried to roll it out of sugarland but just at that moment Mugman slid past on his flapjack and out the portal. Cuphead was clipped by Mugman's driveby so he spun about and sat down dazedly. He sat there on the floor with stars spinning around his head until Mugman reached his hand back into sugarland, grabbed Cuphead and dragged him out.
Cuphead swatted the stars away from his head
"Thanks Mugsy." he thanked "Are you ready to start faze two?"
"There's a faze two!" Mugman exclaimed "you've never come up with a coherent plan before!"
"Welp, i just had an idea" Cuphead replied as he pulled two full length spears out of his pocket.
"We are going to ambush attack that giant, red and white mint thingy, kill it and then reap the sweat rewards" Cuphead explained
"Where did you get those spears from?" Mugman asked
"Me and Chalice nabbed them from Porkrind, i always carry then around juuuuust in case"
"Your telling me that you just carry dangerous weapons around with you"
"Yup" Cuphead answered "anyway here's the plan, we'll hide behind a bush and when the giant mint comes past, we'll kill it!"
"We need some camouflage," Mugman pointed out. "you're wearing bright red and i'm wearing blue, we won't hide well."
However Cuphead wasn't looking at Mugman, he was looking past him.
"What are you looking at Cuphead?" Mugman said. Mugman followed Cuphead's gaze to a mud-hole
Mugman exclaimed,"You are not seriously thinking about..."
"Uhhhhhhh, this is boooring," Cuphead complained. The two cups were hiding behind a small bush, close to the entrance of sugarland. They were caked in mud from the neck down and their faces had war-paint like markings on them, made with more mud.
"You're the one who wanted to do this" Mugman relayed
"Oh yea"
Suddenly a voice behind them said, "heya fellas"
Both of the cup's heads' spun 180 to look at Chalice who was standing behind them
"H-hiya Chalice," Cuphead said. He then remembered what he was trying to do. He gestured to Chalice to kneel down.
"We are trying to hunt down a giant living piece of candy" Cuphead explained "we need to get you a camouflage so it doesn't see you. I recommend the mud hole"
At that moment Mugman had a thought,
"Wait, does the giant mint even have eyes?" he wondered
Cuphead thought for a few seconds
"Whenever I'm not sure, I double down"
"Is this disguise good enough" Chalice said, surprising them once agoin
"AHHHHH, IT'S A SWAMP MONSTER!" the two brothers screamed and hugged each other after they saw Chalice who was covered head to toe in mud.
"Relax ding-dongs, it's me," Chalice said, trying not to laugh.
"Oh yea" Cuphead realised "you look perfectly disguised"
"INCOMING!" Mugman announced as the ground rumbled and a giant red and white disc of pure sugar ,came rolling out
"Get your spears ready." Cuphead whispered "three, two, oneCHARGE!"
"Hey fellas! Where's my spear?" Chalice shouted after the brothers but they were long gone.
She stood there for a couple seconds until a floating lightbulb appeared over her head.
Cuphead and Mugman chased after the giant mint and managed to jump on top of it. They had to jog to keep themselves on top of it. Once they had regained their balance, the cups both stabbed the mint in the side, as hard as they could.
The giant sweet started to swerve and buck, trying to shake off the cups, but they held on tight to the spearshafts. Cracks started to spread, from the stab wounds of the spears, throughout the candy. Both cups were holding on for dear life.
"Is it working!?" Cuphead screamed to Mugman
"I Don't know!" Mugman screamed back
The candy didn't show any signs of fatigue or seemed anyway close to death. And both cups wondered if this would work
Meanwhile, Chalice had her own plan. She did a theatrical spin which made all of the mud fly off her. Leaving her clean. She then sprinted for the road.
Once Chalice arrived at the road, she looked around and saw a spanner-man standing next to a car. Chalice dashed over to him and started charming.
"When your feeling down and out
Don't waste time sulking about
Slap on a smile, have no doubt
And sing a cross a rainbow"
The spanner smiled and immediately handed the car key over to Chalice. She promptly got in the car and rocketed off towards where she assumed the giant candy would be. Chalice blazed off into the forest, knocking over small trees and somehow dodging all of the big ones. She followed the sound of breaking branches and screaming cups until she could see the vibrant red of the mint-monstrosity. As she hurtled towards the target, she wondered how strong the mint was and if she would break the mint or the mint would break her. It was too late to try and stop.
Cuphead and Mugman were still holding onto the spear shafts for dear life. The cracks had further spread but the giant candy was still going strong. Suddenly a car shot forth from the forest and smashed the giant candy into smithereens.
Cuphead and Mugman hung in the air for a second and then screamed and fell directly into the back seat of the car, which had swerved back to catch them. Then a voice from the driver's seat of the car said,
"Nice work boys, now let's talk about sharing out all of this loot!"
The two cups were walking back to the cottage. Mugman was bent double under the weight of all of the candy and Cuphead strolled beside him, his hand firmly wedged in pockets
"Cuphead, are you sure we got a fair share of the candy?"
"What do you mean Mugsy"
" We split it half-half with Chalice but there are two of us and one of her. Shouldn't we all get a third each?"
Cuphead thought about this, seeming to try and count on his fingers but eventually shrugged
"I ain't too worried about it" Cuphead said "we still got a great haul of candy anyway"
"I would be happier if you would help me carry it," Mugman complained
"Naaaaaah" Cuphead dismissed "you're doing great, wouldn't want to interrupt your flow."
Soon the two brothers arrived back at the house and lay the candy out on the table.
"What a haul!" Cuphead exclaimed
"You said it" Mugman replied
The cups stood and admired their rewards for a while. Then Cuphead got an idea
"Mugman." he said
"Yes Cuphead."
"Last time we had this much candy, you made me exercise some self control."
"I don't remember you ever exercising self control," Mugman said "especially not in sugarland."
"Sure i did," Cuphead dismissed "this time, i think that you should try letting loose. It's only fair"
"But you never did control yourself" Mugman complained
"Did too," Cuphead retorted
"Did not," Mugman shouted back at Cuphead
"Did too."
"Did not."
"Did too."
"Did not."
"Did too."
"Look," Cuphed said "do you want to eat the candy or not."
"Well" Mugman replied "if you put it that way"
Mugman stepped back a few paces to give himself a run-up. Then he sprinted and dived head first into the barrel of candy. He started to demolish all of the Candy he could get his hands on. Eventually he jumped back out of the barrel. Cuphead looked at the now empty and completely clean barrel that once had at least 200 Kg of sweets in it.
"Jeez Mugman," Cuphead siad "save some for me"
"That was quite enjoyable," Mugman replied. "I still prefer rationing it all out though."
"Yea, you're not looking so hot" Cuphead remarked
Mugman had icing smeared all around his mouth. The milk in his head was a strange swirl of pink, rainbow and brown. He also seemed to be unnaturally fidgety, his left eye kept twitching and he kept pacing back and forth through the room naturally fast
"You really ain't looking too good" Cuphead said again
"What do you mean?" Mugman replied "I feel better than ever. I feel like I could run a marathon. I want to run a marathon. I feel like i could do anything in the world. I better get started"
Mugman dashed out of the door so fast that Cuphead barely saw him move.
"MUGMAN!" Cuphead screamed after his brother, "COME, BACK!"But Mugman was already too far away to hear him.
(i would like you to imagine the upcoming chase scene with a x1.25 speed version of "Sugarland Shimmy" playing in the background )
Cuphead tried to run after Mugman but he was far out-paced. He turned back to look at Elder Kettle's car and had an idea. Cuphead dashed back, got in the car and rocketed off in the direction he had seen Mugman go. Cuphead had no idea how to drive but somehow he was able to keep to the road.
Mugman continued to sprint towards the city. Up ahead he could see Chalice still walking back to inkwell was rolling the barrel along the floor, kicking it with her feet and she was dragging a large suitcase behind her, which was bursting at the seams, presumably filled with more candy.
Suddenly Mugman rocketed past her!
"Hi Chalice,Bye Chalice" he said as he ran past her. Causing her to spin wildly, eventually falling over and landing in a sitting position. A few seconds afterwards Cuphead drove past her. He grabbed her handle and pulled Chalice into the shotgun seat of the car. Cuphead also clipped both of the candy containers, causing them to flip into the back seats of the car.
"What the heck happened to Mugman!" Chalice asked
"He ate loads of candy, then his milk went all strange, then he wanted to do a marathon then he ran!"
"Looks like Mugman has a sugar high" Chalice realised "don't worry, he'll get tired and fall asleep in a few minutes. Sugar highs are mighty useful for shaking off the cops."
"So Mugman will drop down wherever he gets tired, even if that place is on the edge of a building or the middle of a road," Cuphead said.
"Yup, pretty much" replied Chalice
They both sat in the car, closed their eyes and took a sigh of relief.
But then Cuphead and Chalice realised simultaneously what this meant.
Cuphead jerked the steering wheel because while his eyes were closed, the car started to drift towards the tree-line. Cuphead swerved the car to avoid the trees but the wing mirror was hit by the trunk of a tree and broke off. He stamped his foot down on the gas pedal which had been hastily repaired using Selo-tape and a piece of wood to cover the hole in the floor from when Chalice broke them in the form of Elder Kettle. Cuphead broke both these when he stamped.
The car rocketed forward and pull in, parallel to Mugman.
"MUGMAN, STOP!" Cuphead yelled at him
"Oh, hey Cuphead. What are you doing here? Why should I stop? I don't want to stop. I'm having fun. This is fun!" Mugman said cheerfully and very fast.
Mugman did not stop but kept running. Chalice reached out the side of the car and grabbed his handle. However, Mugman ran even faster, yanking chalice out of the car and dragging her behind him.
She was not able to hold on for long and eventually let go. Because of her velocity, she bounced up and down for a bit until Cuphead caught up with her. She landed perfectly in the shotgun seat with stars spinning round her head.
"You alright?" Cuphead asked, concernedly
Chalice shook of the stars and said "yea, i've been worse"
Her left sleeve was torn and there were some scratch marks on the pottery beneath. There were also some pieces of gravel embedded in her gold handle.
"Eurika!" Chalice exclaimed "the only way to beat the sugar is to harness the shugar!"
Chalice clambered into the back of the car ,opened her suitcase and started to stuff her face with candy. After she had eaten about half a suitcase worth of candy her head started to froth with multi coloured bubbles and her pupils dilated.
Chalice jumped out of the car and zoomed off after Mugman. She managed to catch up to him and tried to tell him to stop but Mugman was not listening. Once they reached the city, Mugman started sprinting around blocks of buildings, as if he was following a faulty GPS.
Eventually, as Mugman was running down a particularly long road, Chalice caught up with him and managed to tackle him to the ground. They fought for a bit in a cloud of dust where only the occasional fist of foot was visible
Eventually he broke free of the brawl and continued to run down the road.
Suddenly a car rocketed out from an intercepting road (like an X junction). It skidded past Mugman and the driver reached their hand out and grabbed him by the handle. The car then continued to skid and then collided with the wall of a shop,stopping abruptly. Inside of the car was a dazed Cuphead holding a very angry Mugman.
"WHY ARE YOU TRYINGTO STOP ME FROM HAVING fun, i finally have the energy to..." Mugman complained as he gradually drifted off to sleep.
"Great job Chalice, now it's time to..." Cuphead began to say until he noticed that Chalice was also fast asleep.
Cuphead walked over to Chalice, grabbed her by the handle and gently placed her in the back of the car with Mugman. Cuphead was trying to start the car when he heard a voice behind him.
"Do you have any idea how much trouble you are in young man!" Elder kettle said menacingly
Cuphead looked around him, his brother and best friend were both unconscious in the back of the car, lying on top of a bunch of candy. Cuphead, who was definitely not old enough to drive, was trying to start a stolen car that had already crashed into a building.
"Errrrrrr, I was just, errrrr, doing... Stuff!" Cuphead stammered with a big, innocent smile on his face. As the screen did an "iris out" , focusing on his face and then fading to black.