Emily searches Penelope's facial expression amid the silence. Penelope drums her thumb against her leg.
"Garcia! Why do they refer to the risk of radiation every time they discuss the possibility of doing imaging?"
"Bottom line, they don't want you to sue them."
She furrows her brow, "That makes no sense. Why would I sue the?"
"For malpractice."
"Malpractice? Why would I sue them for doing diagnostic imaging?"
"Because of the risk."
"Because of the risk to me? I fly across the continental United States at least forty times a year."
"They are not referring to the risk posed to you."
"I don't understand."
"This afternoon they're coming in to do an ultrasound."
"Because of the lab results related to my renal function?"
Penelope shakes her head, "No. Those are back on track. You really don't know?"
"Know, what?"
"Emily, you're pregnant."
Emily stares at her blankly, "Garcia, that isn't a funny joke."
"It's not a joke."
"I am fifty-four years old. I am practically a senior citizen." Emily points out.
"I am fully aware of how old you are."
"No, Penelope, that train left the station. That shop is closed for business."
"Apparently, it's not. They thoroughly reviewed your medical records. Apparently you aren't considered through menopause until you have gone twelve months without menses."
"Penelope, I'm not pregnant. When would I have the time?"
"Based on my calculations at some point while you were on mandatory leave you got pregnant."
"No, I didn't."
"Their calculations can be off. It could be a week before, or a week after. I'm just hoping that you can jog your memory."
"I think that there has been a mix up. Certainly, it was just a false positive."
"It wasn't."
"How do you know?"
"Because, when you were sedated, I saw with my very own eyes."
"You saw what?"
"I saw everything. They did an anatomy scan."
"No."
"You can see for yourself, in about an hour."
"I was on leave months ago. Don't you think that I would know if I had gotten pregnant?"
"Emily, I don't know."
"This can't be happening. It's a nightmare."
"Did something happen when you were…"
Emily shakes her head, "Nothing happened when I was being held captive. I promise."
"Then, I don't want to know."
"Can you give me a few minutes?"
Penelope nods, "Yeah, I'll go grab some coffee."
Emily sits up on the side of the bed. "This can't be happening." She sits in silence for a few moments before there is a knock at the door. She swings her feet into the bed, and waits for the door to open. A woman wearing a cardigan, and a pair of slacks enters the room. She offers a warm smile.
"Good afternoon, Emily."
Prentiss blots the tears from her face, "I'm sorry, do I know you?"
"Oh, no. I'm sorry. We haven't been formally introduced. I did rounds in here several days ago. I met you then."
"But I was incapacitated."
"I'm the chaplain. My name is Sarah. I am just making my rounds. It's good to see you in upright position."
"I appreciate you stopping by, but I don't to ascribe to any kind of organized religion."
"No problem. I will head out," she smiles, and turns to leave.
"Wait, can I ask you something?"
Sarah stops at the door, and turns back in her direction, "Of course."
"Do you ever worry that there is nothing after this, and that this is it?"
"I wouldn't say I worry about it. The truth is that no one knows what happens after this life. Everyone has their own system of belief. At the end of the day, I find that living intentionally is all that I can really do."
"But what if you're dealt a really terrible hand?"
She shrugs, "Do you ever play poker?"
"It's been a while, but I have. Why?"
"You always have a choice to play a bad hand, and wait for the river, or trade in some cards, with the possibility of getting better, or worse cards. You cannot control the cards, but you can control yourself. I'm not really telling you anything, that you don't already know, though, am I?"
"Thank you."
Sarah nods, and heads out the door. A few minutes later Emily is sitting up on the side of the bed feeling completely numb. Another knock on the door elicits her attention. A technician wearing grey scrubs enter the room pulling a cart along with her.
Lying flat in the bed, Emily stares up at ceiling tile wondering how they manage to disinfect it. The technician shakes a bottle of gel.
"Is it okay if I roll up your gown?"
"Yes," she nods in confirmation.
"You are probably going to want a fresh gown, and pair of pajama bottoms when I'm done. This tends to get pretty slimy. I brought you clean ones."
"Thank you."
"This gel is going to be warm. I want to warn you ahead of time there will be some pauses. It doesn't mean anything is wrong, it typically just means that I am collecting data."
"Understood."
After a glob of gel lands on her midsection, the probe moves from side to side. An image quickly appears on the screen.
"The doctor requested a 3-dimensional scan this time," the technician explains.
"Oh," she responds quietly wanting more than anything to disassociate.
"That is a face, and you can see that the hand is pressed up against the cheek."
Emily glances at the screen, "Why does it look like that?"
She smirks, "The fetus is moving around. The hand is moving. I'm going to keep scanning, and take some images as I go."
"Okay."
Her entire body feels tense as she watches the probe move from side to side. What happens next catches her off guard. The sound interrupts her intrusive thoughts.
"There is a nice strong heartbeat," the technician, with a badge that read Mandy, adds.
Emily can't seem to muster a response. She watches in silence as the scan continues. After a few moments she squints at the screen.
"What is that?"
"Genitalia," Mandy reveals.
Emily nods, "Not a penis."
Mandy smirks, "Do you want me to confirm that to you? Some people don't want to know."
"I am not one of those people. I like to have all the information that I can at my disposal."
"Not a penis," Mandy nods in confirmation.
"That is good information to have."
"Were you hoping for one or the other?"
"I was just hoping not to see a tail, or a claw, or a beak."
"This appears to be a totally human fetus with all parts accounted for. The OB/GYN will probably want to do an amniocentesis for genetic testing," Mandy explains as she begins wiping off the gel.
"Thank you."