Chapter 14: In a Field of Flowers
He feels a gentle breeze and the warmth of the sun. His eyes are closed, but he can tell he's outside. Cloud opens his eyes slowly, keeping them half-closed to block out the sun's brightness. He sits up and sees a field of flowers surrounding him. He's been here before, he's sure.
"you're awake"
The voice startles Cloud, surprising him; he thought he would never hear that voice again. 'I must be dreaming', Cloud thinks, turning to the sound of her voice.
He sees her sitting a few feet behind where he lay moments before; hugging her knees and her cheeks blushed with the sun's kiss. He watches as a gust of wind blows wisps of her hair. She tucks them behind her ear and smiles brightly at him; her emerald eyes sparkling.
"Aerith?" He sat stunned, and expected at any moment for her to disappear. She nods and gives him a wink. "The very one." She replies cheerfully. He sputters a bit, "but how?" He asks. Her head tilts slightly in thought. "I'm not sure, but it seems this is our new meeting place. We've been here before." She says, showing signs of confusion as well and shrugs.
He remembers, but then, he could hardly face her at the time; heart racked with guilt. Now though, he refuses to look away, which she notices and continues to softly smile at him. His tense body relaxes. He lets out a quiet breath and returns her smile with a shy one of his own.
He gets up and walks to her, sitting beside her. "Hey," he greets quietly. She covers her mouth and giggles. She lowers her hand and gives him a grin. "Hey. Come here often?" she asks playfully. He lets out a puff of breath, shakes his head, and chuckles, his eyes landing on their legs that were close to touching. He scoots closer until they are and looks back up at her. "Not enough. Like I wish," he pauses, having so much to say, but not having the words at the same time; they stay lodged in his mouth. He clears his throat, which feels choked with emotion, and looks out at the scenery ahead. She gives a soft hum and looks ahead as well, letting the silence fall over them.
The landscape is filled with flowers, extending as far as the eye can see. They sway and dance in the wind, happy to display their vibrant colors. Despite this, the air around them turns somber. One thinks about what should have been, and the other knows things are as they should be. Cloud breaks the silence. "I wish I could have saved you. I was battling myself and that voice in my head that said to destroy you." He stops and touches his temple. "It kept whispering to kill you. I was right there. I was afraid of what I might do."
Aerith lays her head on his shoulder, listening, and finds his hand; holding on tightly. He continues, now resting his cheek on her head. "It wasn't until I saw Sephiroth; and even then I couldn't," he pulls away, that moment replaying in his mind. She pulls him back, his face turned away; she calls for him, "Cloud," he glances at her, before resting his eyes on their linked hands; she gives it a reassuring squeeze. "It wasn't you." She says. He nods, and squeezes her hand back.
"It was him, Sephiroth. I know that now. He kept me distracted, just enough. Somehow, I became a part of his convoluted plan." Cloud shakes his head, still looking down; clearly growing angry at himself. She waves their joined hands back and forth, and starts bumping their shoulders together and making them sway side to side; determined to get him out of his head. He looks up at her and catches her making a silly face at him; eyes crossed and tongue sticking out. He lets out a startling laugh, "Aerith!" He hollers and continues to laugh. She joins in, content with her efforts.
Laughter fading, she pulls his hand into her lap and sighs. "Don't come down on yourself, Cloud. Everything that happened, needed to," she catches his eyes and holds them; staring into them, "is as it should be."
He pulls away from her, quickly stands, and paces a bit, before coming to a stop in front of her. "I disagree," he states, his face pinched into a frown. She huffs and shakes her head; her now empty hand linking with the other to hug her knees to her chest. "Oh?" Her brows raise in question. He answers with a vehement nod. "Yes! We would've gone to defeat Sephiroth, anyway. There was no reason for you to die!" He ends, swinging a clenched fist.
She lets out an incredulous laugh. "Cloud, I was the bridge that linked the lifestream to our planet, which ultimately saved it from Sephiroth's meteor. I prayed for Holy to intervene, and it did." She sighs and watches as Cloud sits back down beside her.
"Be that as it may, if given another chance, I'd tuck you away. Hide you from the Turks, Shinra, and Sephiroth." He says. She lets out a frustrated breath, her cheeks puffed out cutely, in Cloud's opinion. He smiles at the thought.
"Why are you smiling? I'm not an object to be possessed and hidden away, Cloud," she huffed, hands on her hips. She was trying to intimidate him, but it was hard considering she was still sitting down, and if Cloud's soft smile was any indication, it wasn't working. She let out a breath, her stomach fluttering as Cloud continued to smile at her, his eyes looking directly into hers. "Oh! Your eyes!" She got on her knees, holding his face in her hands, quickly thwarting his attempt to turn his head and avoid her gaze. "I've never seen them look so clear, so blue," she gently rubbed his cheek, "pretty."
At the compliment, he averts his eyes, looking down at her neck with a blush dusting his cheeks. "I'm not pretty." He says, voice low. Releasing his face, she lets out a chuckle. "Oh, excuse me. You're ruggedly handsome; rough and tough." She teases, voice gruff and pitched as low as she can get it. He chuckles and shakes his head at her silliness.
"Everyone who made it through the SOLDIER program was injected with Jenova cells and bathed in mako, granting superhuman strength and eyes glowing due to the mako," Cloud explains. She nods. "Yes, when I first met Zack, his eyes stood out to me. He said it was something all men in SOLDIER had. But I thought," she stops before hesitantly saying, "you weren't in SOLDIER."
He looks off to the side and shakes his head. "No, I wasn't. I didn't even make it past the first training course. They said I was too brazen and reckless; apparently qualities that can put a team at risk." He shrugs. She sits back down beside him. "So how was it that you got mako poisoning and Jenova's cells?" She asks. He gives her a pointed look; one that translates, 'really? As if you don't know already.', and shakes his head. "That's a long story; one I'm sure you've heard of."
She reaches for his hand and brings it to her chest, embracing it. His eyes travel from their linked hands to her face, her lips, cupid's bow and philtrum, to her nose and up the bridge, finally meeting her eyes; they held sincerity and compassion. "Sure, I've heard bits and pieces, but I want to hear it from you," she says softly.
He sighs and releases her hand. A disheartened look crosses her face before she realizes he wanted to wrap his arm around her shoulders. She lets out a surprised gasp and feels her cheeks heat up; feeling Cloud pull them into a lying position. He hugs her close and she lays her head on his chest. She wraps her arm around his waist and he secures his around her; his other arm pillowing his head. "I guess we might as well get comfortable, it's a long story," he says.
She lets out a happy hum and snuggles in. Cloud looks at Aerith; her eyes closed and a contented smile on her face. Cloud smiles, not sure how they got here or how much time they have, but he wants to take advantage of this moment.
Cloud and Aerith have hugged each other and held hands, have even shared the same breath in their close proximity, but this feels…more intimate; Cloud's stomach flutters with butterflies.
"Cloud?" She asks, looking up at him; having noticed his silence, and meets his delighted gaze. They smile at one another, before Cloud looks up at the sky and lets out a small cough. "Right. Where to start?" He wonders. She nestles back against his chest and sighs. "How about the beginning? What was little Cloud like?" She asks. He lets out a chuckle. "Uh, I was a little shit and a bit full of myself," he starts.
She gasps and laughs at his self-descriptors. "What!? You? I don't believe it." She says with a hint of sarcasm and a big grin. He laughs and continues, "Yeah, I was, but I guess that depends on who you ask. My mother would probably say I was a troublemaker. I was always sneaking out, looking for my next adventure. I guess that's why she wasn't surprised I wanted to leave and train for SOLDIER. But really, I just wanted to impress Tifa."
Aerith giggles. "The 'lil shit', left in hopes of coming back a knight in shining armor, to claim his maiden's hand." Cloud huffs. "I guess when you think about it, it's ridiculous." Aerith shakes her head in disagreement. "No, actually, it's a bit romantic!"
Cloud hums. "Yeah, instead I came back with my tail tucked between my legs, and that was only because I had to; too embarrassed to show that I was a mere trooper, not capable of passing the SOLDIER program." The silence falls over them again, and Cloud instantly remembers his time back home and the tragedy that struck, before softly continuing, "not worthy at all."
Aerith sighs. "There you go being hard on yourself again." Knowing where his mind was at, Cloud clears his throat. "Sephiroth knew I was from Nibelheim, and gave me the day off. I was able to visit my mother and spend some time with her before," Cloud's voice dies down.
He remembers the heat, choking and sweltering; all-consuming. He remembers his mother's voice, pleading, "Please! Spare my son!" followed by pain-filled screams as she was impaled and blasted with flames. "Sephiroth!" Cloud remembers yelling. Sephiroth turned to give him an evil grin before disappearing into the fire.
Cloud knew Sephiroth was headed back to the Nibel reactor. He looked in the direction his mother was moments before and sorrowfully whispered, "I love you, momma." Wiping tears from his face, he ran to the Nibel reactor.
"Sorry, Cloud," Aerith says, knowing the pain of losing a beloved mother. She hugs him tightly, wanting to give him comfort. He hugs her just as tight. "It's okay. I've made my peace and am thankful for the time we had," he says, loosening his hold to wipe stray tears.
"I Ran as fast as I could to the reactor. Ran until my legs buckled and my lungs ached. On my way, there were a few other townspeople; Rotem and Rayden if I remember correctly, the others I didn't know. It was a massacre. I could only imagine the destruction at the reactor itself."
The smell of iron was palpable. He could still hear the townspeople screaming for their lives below; overwhelmed, suffocating with flames. Their cries echoed as he traveled the path to the Nibel reactor. It wasn't until he went deeper into the mountains that he came across Rayden; his body slashed from the neck, to his chest and torso, all the way down to his right upper thigh; cut so deep, Cloud could see Rayden's innards.
Not too far away, he spots another two bodies, hacked to pieces and swimming in their own fluids. Cloud gagged, choking on the stench. He covered his nose and mouth and hurried on; again coming across more destruction. His face, although forever etched with pain and fear, was recognizable as Rotem's; albeit a bit older and gray-haired with age and covered in blood. It was just his head. His body lay detached a few feet away.
Cloud shook his head and let out a yell in anguish, before he became overcome with disgust; quickly falling to his knees to dry heave into the ground. He worked to calm his beating heart and frayed nerves. He got up and took off running. "I can't stop. I need to get to the reactor!" He said to himself, fighting the part that wanted to give up; lay down and die.
"Couldn't believe the carnage one person could do, a person that I had looked up to and had aspired to be." Cloud says. Aerith sits up and leans on her left hand and looks down at Cloud; his face was one of confusion and pain. His eyes were glassy, teared up from not being closed and he had a far away look; he was reliving the moment. She touches his cheek. He comes to himself and blinks, the tears streaming now. She wipes them away. "You with me?" She asks. He looks into her eyes full of concern and looks away. He sits up and holds her palm to his cheek; her hand wet with his tears. "I'm here." He nods.
He lowered her hand and held it. He continued, "I finally made it to the reactor, only to find Tifa and her father…"
Cloud crosses the bridge that leads into the reactor; mako glowing bright below. When he opens the door, he's greeted by a grisly sight. Mr. Lockhart lies in a pool of blood; a hole square in his chest, and Tifa lies on the steps that lead to the inner chamber; a gash that seems to cut through to her sternum. "Fuck!" Cloud yells. He checks Mr. Lockhart and quickly knows he's passed; skin pale, mouth slack, and eyes clouded over. He then runs to Tifa, carefully picks up her body, and brings her the few steps down to where her father lies. "Tifa?" He calls, his voice quivering with emotion.
Her eyes move behind her eyelids and she releases a struggling breath. She's alive, but barely. "I'm sorry, Tifa," he says as he lays her down gently. He turns and steels his nerves before once again ascending the stairs to the inner chamber, not sure what to expect when he comes face to face with Sephiroth.
As he enters, he sees Zack lying face down. He doesn't seem to be bleeding, from what Cloud can tell. The buster sword lays abandoned a few feet away. He quickly runs and grabs it and makes his way up the stairs, where he sees Sephiroth standing in front of a being named Jenova.
Cloud impales Sephiroth in his lower back. Each inch that stabs into him, he demands, "Give me my mother back!" Inch, "Tifa!" Two inches, "My home!" Four inches, "My town!" He digs deeper still, then rips the blade out; the Buster Sword stained red.
As Sephiroth falls to his knees, grunting in pain, Cloud turns and runs back down to tend to Zack and drags him out to the entrance where Tifa is.
"Obviously, Sephiroth didn't die, but imagine my surprise. He came limping downstairs, Jenova's severed head in hand, and made for the exit," Cloud says. Aerith huffs, "That asshole!" She's clearly invested in Cloud's story. Cloud nods and continues, "I made sure Zack and Tifa were safe and ran after him. He was halfway across the bridge when I tried to attack him again. This time, though, he impaled me with his sword." Aerith gasps.
"Using all my strength, I threw him into the mako stream with his own sword. What happened after is a mystery. My body succumbed, then I lost consciousness. Everything is a bit fuzzy. Zack and I were together, I know that, but that was the time I got injected with Jenova's cells and mako." Cloud ends, thinking about that time. Even with his regained memory, he still can't recover his time in Shinra. 'Maybe it's for the best.' Cloud thinks, at the very least knowing that he and Zack were being experimented on.
"Guess we were all just test subjects to Hojo, huh?" Aerith says. Remembering the time she and her mother were held captive. "My mother, the last Cetra, was locked away by Hojo. He must've been thrilled when he found out she gave birth to me." She says bitterly.
"Was your mother always at Shinra?" Cloud asks. Aerith shrugs, "I don't know. My mother never spoke of the past, choosing to focus on the present, and make the best of a bad situation." Cloud nods in understanding. "We all have our crosses to bear, it seems," he says. Aerith gives a small smile, "Yeah," she replies softly, looking up at the sky. The sun has begun to set, painting the sky in orange-pinkish hues.
Cloud and Aerith went on exchanging stories of their lives; Cloud telling of his childhood adventures and Aerith of her time in Shinra labs. "When given the chance, I loved pranking the researchers!" she laughs. Cloud grins and tells of a time he played a prank on his mother, "Needless to say, she forbade me from playing with bugs again." They both laugh.
They continued well into the evening, until the moon and stars shone bright and were an audience to their stories and laughter. They tried to stay away from sad memories, not wanting to end their time with sorrowful dispositions or anger.
Silence fell among them, letting nature sing its lullaby. Cloud fought a yawn, wanting to deny his body's weariness. Aerith notices, "You're tired?" She asks. He shakes his head in denial. Aerith giggles. "You are tired. Go to sleep, Cloud."
"Will you be here when I wake up?" Cloud asks. She hums. "It's not me you have to worry about," she says, "but I'm always with you, Cloud." She smiles. He huffs and flops back on the grass, stretching his arms out on each side and closing his eyes. "I wish."
She lays down, tucking herself to his side. He hugs her close and she wraps an arm over his waist. He lets out a contented sigh and smiles at the warmth he feels; externally and internally. He falls into a deep sleep.