The old man stretched his arm forward, fingers trembling. For a moment, the slightest vibration... then, he realized it was merely a guard approaching outside. The slot in the wooden door opened, and a lacquered tray and cup slid inside.
His meals were still digestible, that was one consolation. In keeping with his benevolent nature, Kuei always treated everyone he was aware of decently, including the prisoners; Azula's brief rule of Ba Sing Se had left Long Feng half-starved. With his physical health in no immediate risk, he had nothing but time to consider his losses everywhere else.
Zicheng had vanished just after delivering Princess Hou-Ting to Fong; in the meantime, those Dai Li who hadn't been subdued by the Avatar's allies had probably scattered into the Dragon's Back. Whether they would be able to retrieve the apparatus and years of records before they were uncovered was unlikely. The biggest blow, however, had been the loss of Takeo's telegraph device. Long Feng couldn't remember when he'd dropped it during the battle, but it was long gone. One of the ironclads had been seized by Fong's troops, but the Ashmakers had detonated explosives in two others rather than let them fall into Earth Kingdom hands. The fourth remained unaccounted for, with Shingen being the obvious culprit. As for the rest of Takeo's arsenal, a new tundra tank prototype and several hand mortars had been delivered to the Dai Li, but everything else had gone into the assault on Republic City with the Agni Kai Triad. Even acting on the principals of Neutral Jing, it was a meagre consolation prize; reverse-engineering would only be possible with sufficient innovation, and most of the Earth Kingdom's best minds continued to head for Gaoling, Omashu or Republic City, not Ba Sing Se. The only other possibility was the handful of Ashmakers he had re-educated while Azula and Takeo were occupied, but without agents in the Fire Nation to activate them, they were of little use...
Even Fong had cooled on their meagre alliance too quickly, it seemed. His final remarks to Zuko about Ariq indicated that isolating Omashu was still a possibility, but unfortunately the upstart King had already withdrawn his forces from King Kuei's Grand Army, and returned to his capital; any further intrigue directly against him, would have to wait. According to Yuesheng's last report, their agent attached to Kuei's military retinue had witnessed riders in Kiyoshi garb approach Ariq's camp. Immediately after their departure, Ariq and his aides had approached Kuei's encampment, looking suspicious. After that, the reports had stopped coming; while desertion was a possibility, it was more likely the Dai Li were simply following protocol, as they had after the destruction of Lake Laogai. And after the number of defeats Long Feng had suffered, no one was going to spring him again.
Still, being unaware of what had passed between the two Kings, was maddening; pursuit and interrogation of the Kiyoshi Warriors should have been an option, given they were Nonbenders. He supposed Ariq had provided them with a protective escort, making it impossible. Yet another loss he would probably never learn the details of.
All the same, opportunity was still here, in spite of everything. As it had since Long Feng's childhood in the Lower Ring. He could hear it now, making its' way noisily down the passage, for what felt like the hundredth time...
"Leave."
"Your Highness, you shouldn't keep coming down here. Your father said-"
"My father will not be Earth King forever, and when I ascend the throne, I will remember this impudence!"
Long Feng's lip curled in amusement. She did have a long memory... and for all her lack of Bending, her personality was as unyielding as Toph Beifong's. As soon as he heard the guard's footsteps receding around the corridor's bend, he shuffled himself around, bending his head to the floor. "You wished to speak with me again, Your Highness? I am honored-"
"Don't treat these visits as social calls. Naked flattery does not erase your conviction of treason. You were lucky I commuted your sentence and spared your life."
"You will find no disagreement from me there, Your Highness." Long Feng slowly rose from his prone position, wincing at the aches in his back. "Yet, still, you must be coming here with more of a purpose than to observe the change in our... positions. The same as before, or is there something new I can aide you with, beyond the deserving pennance for my crimes?"
The scorn receded from Hou-Ting's face, but only a fraction. "...The signals you gave me, didn't work. Only a handful of the officers have responded."
"That isn't surprising. The last one to invoke the call of Jailun was me, and if I've lost the Mandate of Heaven permanently-"
"Careful what you say, Long Feng." The teenager's eyes narrowed. "To imply that my family ever lost the Divine Right-"
"When have I ever implied anything but the opposite, of such treason?" Long Feng fixed her with a penetrating gaze, burying his irritation behind an opaque mask. She was even more obsessed with total control than Azula. "No one, even the Avatar, has ever questioned your family's right to rule Ba Sing Se since the end of the war. But as a result of my more...active regency during Kuei's youth, the Dai Li respond to directions within their own, rather than the monarchy they protect; they are accustomed to having a mouthpiece to interpret such divine instruction. They will have chosen leadership amongst themselves, or perhaps even turned to Fong in the interim-"
"Fong has always been loyal to my father. Apart from that upstart Ariq, only he answered the Earth King's call. He was the only one who attempted to rescue me."
"Because I gave him the opportunity to do so." Long Feng didn't know how much Fong might have twisted her or Kuei against him in the interim, but his alliance with the Warlord of Puyo had clearly frayed even faster than the one with Takeo. "And this insistance upon loyalty to your family, gives him the opportunity to influence decisions made later on. Everyone at your father's court has always had an agenda, no matter how carefully they hide it: the judges, the merchant guildmasters from the Lower and Middle Rings, the Council of Five." He opened his hands in a pleading gesture. "I beg you, to take it from someone who has been at the court of Ba Sing Se for decades: Those your family have raised to power, are as stubborn about keepin it, as our warriors who held back the Fire Nation. At the slightest excuse or opportunity, they will undermine your father's authority and judgement. For many nobles, it may be feelings of abandonment during the wartime years- used to cover their seizure of greater influence, beyond the Outer Wall. For the commoners, it may be your family's lack of Bending in contrast to King Ariq-" He froze at the look on her face, pressed his head to the floor of his cell. "Your Highness, forgive me, that was most tactless. I only meant to give you the truth, as I have failed to for your father in the past."
He risked a glance upward. Hou-Ting's gaze was boring a hole in the wall behind him, but when she finally spoke, her voice was surprisingly controlled. "I believe... at least one thing you've told me is true. That everyone in the court has an agenda. After all, you did, for years." She raised her hand as he opened his mouth again. "No more silver words, traitor. You and your Dai Li plotted with our enemies, after my father had made a decision that ran contrary to your advice. By definition, that is more a rejection of my family's divine mandate than any whisperings or disrespect from our rivals beyond the Wall. And now you act with such familiarity, as if your loss of Bending somehow makes you my equal, one you have so much in common with?"
The old man kept his face down. He had pushed too hard... but still, she was Kuei's daughter. "I would never deny this, Highness. My sitting in this cell stripped of the very last of my authority, proves your family's divine right beyond a doubt. I have little doubt that, no matter what transpires here, I will never see the light of day again... but I am curious. Am I to pay the ultimate penalty after all? If so, I should beg a day to prepare myself..."
The Princess's tone immediately became contemptuous again. "My father's mercy is something his enemies have used against him at every turn. I didn't spare you out of mercy, but because I thought you might have some use in bringing the Dai Li to heel. If you don't..."
"If my advice isn't sufficient to serve you I will gladly give my head in its' place." Long Feng pretended to sag further forward, as if offering his neck, but in fact to keep his smirking expression out of sight. For all her moments of insight, she had no subtlety when she took the bait. This was better than anything he'd been expecting, since Fong had turned on him. "That depends entirely on what was recovered from our headquarters in Zamyn Togsgol. Many of the Dai Li likely faded into the mountain passes around it, waiting for the Avatar and the White Lotus to disperse so that the reeducation device could be retrieved-"
"Why would they bother? I informed Fong, and he returned to destroy it."
Long Feng froze, incredulity crowding out the triumph in his chest. "He... destroyed it? What treachery-"
"He did so on my orders." Hou-Ting folded her hands inside her robes, her expression hard. "I saw what was done to poor Joo Dee, especially after her trance faded. She was trustworthy, without having been tortured and brainwashed for days on end, for the slightest shortcoming." She cocked an eyebrow. "Besides, should someone ever have a temptation to use such an awful device on a member of the Royal Family... You don't think I'd leave that dangerous of an option open to them, do you?"
Rage poured through the Grand Secretariat's mind, but he forced himself to exhale it, kept himself prone, disguised his fury as fawning surprise. "I... I stand in awe of your wisdom, Highness. That you had the insight to spot such a threat from so far off, and eliminate it before it had any chance to take root... it seems there is hope for enlightened despotism after all. I merely ask, of your divine judgement, whether such a tool might be more useful to you against such rivals in the long term, rather than the other way around"
"Did you not hear my words? If I left that risk open-"
"If you had the Dai Li fully at your disposal again, you would not have to fear such dissent... even without the device. There are many nobles who hold influence beyond the Outer Wall, but only Yi, Puyo and Omashu stand as true rivals to the throne. If Ariq and Fong are brouught to heel, there will be no other authority in the northern half of the Earth Kingdom but yours... finally curbing the Dai Li's confusion over who to follow. Which, I admit, I helped cultivate further."
"What do you mean, the northern half? No one in the south challenges our rule, apart from those feeble bandits in the Si-Wong Desert. As for the Dai Li's 'confusion', they simply need a bit more training-"
"Would that training was enough, Highness. Ever since the Dai Li were first established by Avatar Kiyoshi, it has been a struggle to... redirect their allegiance. She intended them to be a counterbalance to the councils she set up on behalf of the peasantry, to be a bridge between monarch and subjects. But her fatal mistake was in elevating the authority of the Earth Sages, making them strong enough to challenge the monarchy itself, once she wasn't around to keep an eye on them. This forced King Jialunn to purge the Sages' corruption after her passing. Ironic that, in seeking balance, the Avatar often achieves exactly the opposite, isn't it?"
Hou-Ting frowned. "Kiyoshi did defend us against Chin the Conqueror-"
"You misunderstand me, Highness. Doubtless the Avatar has good intentions; like your family, they have been ordained by the Spirits. However, their judgement is often...misplaced, since they take directives from the Spirit Realm rather than from the world they actually live in. And because they are born into different kingdoms with each reincarnation, their earliest loyalties tend to give them different... ideas of balance. Hence, why Avatar Aang has helped the Fire Lord pressure your father into ceding the northwestern coastline of the Earth Kingdom, to form their precious 'United Republic'.
Hou-Ting paused, fiddling with a silk tasssel on the left side of her headdress, her jaw working. "This... is, admittedly, something that has been much on my mind. But what is there to do about it? We have only just avoided war, and to press against the United Republic now, in the aftermath of the Ashmakers' attack and my peace agreement with the Fire Lord, would turn everyone against us. As you said before... the Earth Kingdom is too divided now to stand alone, as it did during the war."
"Which is why it is fortunate, that you have both the wisdom and opportunity to bide your time, follow Neutral Jin until the right moment... and in the meantime, displace the supports of other, lesser opponents." Long Feng opened his palms toward her in a gesture of respect, fixed her with his gaze. "Your voice in this peace agreement with the Fire Lord will be remembered by the other Nations and the nobility, to be certain. But so too, will the fact that your father was not present for it, which may be seized on as a pretext-"
"My father could not help such circumstances, he was leading his army! Besides, if he was willing to delegate the judicial proceedings to me, why not some areas of diplomacy?"
"...That is true." Long Feng pretended to consider her words. "And while your father's temperament has always been better suited to peace, you clearly have a stronger resolve. Perhaps, if you personally ordered an expedition north of the Dragon's Back, to root out the remaining rogue Fire Nationals, rather than allow that honor to fall to Ariq as he pledged..." He raised an eyebrow, kept his expression pensive. "If your father trusts you well enough now, perhaps you may be able to both build support for your future Mandate, and restore confidence in your father's. Being already of age, you would need no appointed Regent to hiss in your ear if some terrible event moved the succession forward unexpectedly-" He caught himself at the stony expression on the Princess's face.
"Is that what you arranged, when my father inherited the throne as a child?"
"Never, Highness. Summon a Truth-Seer if you doubt my words." Instead of dropping to the floor, the Grand Secretariat pressed his gnarled fist to his heart, his gaze on her unwavering. For all that he needed her to heed his words, to hold the life of his own ruler was too dangerous a play even for him. "But... others may. As I have said, you must be aware of them at every turn-"
Hou-Ting raised her long-nailed hand, cutting him off. Her painted lips stayed in a thin line, but for the first time he saw a hint of... eagerness, mixed with the icy look in her eyes. It was a look he'd seen all too often in his own expression in a mirror. "I'm... counting on it. But, if the Dai Li can ease that process for me... I may require that 'mouthpiece' you mentioned. Not you, of course."
"Naturally. But, if a young and eager officer who could be trusted by the ranks were found, and given both my and your approval..."
"And if I bring those who have responded to you under guard, you can vet them. In addition to the captured Dai Li agents... most of whom I have sentenced to private labor at the discretion of the Monarch, or pardoned. After all, many of them were brainwashed against their will..."
"Of course, Highness. I am yours to command, as you know." The old man sank back to the ground, his heart beating fast with triumph. This was better than he could have hoped for, by far. He would inform her about the sleeper agents in the Fire Nation later, at the right moment. "I would merely counsel choosing your guards carefully, and perhaps not mentioning this affair to your father, beyond the expedition north..."
A smile finally touched Hou-Ting's painted lips. "Naturally."
The waves rolled in and out gently, soaking the black volcanic beach, carrying some shells out and leaving others in their place. Azula sat on her crossed heels under a tree, writing a letter.
"Assure Zirin and the others that the new laws are genuine, not a ruse to coax them out of hiding. Keep an eye on the Agni Kais in Gigye until I arrive. Regretfully, I am unable to deliver this message by the usual method..."
Her throat tightened as she glanced from the paper to the four items splayed out on the sand before her. The Blue Spirit Mask, her kukri, a clay incense stand with two sticks inserted. And the tatterd cloak, worn and rotting from its' journey back to the Fire Nation, unfurled around Natsu's body.
Azula started to reach toward the crumpled bundle... then stopped, again. That odd year when Natsu had found a mate, and raised a clutch among the cliffs... by then, Azula had no longer needed her for the hunt. Still, her curiousity- and, she would admit, jealousy- had gnawed at her, broken her habit of keeping on the move. When the frost came early, and two of Natsu's fledgelings starved, the raven-eagle hadn't clung to their corpses and pined, as Iroh had over Lu-Ten; she disposed of the bodies quickly and efficiently, feeding them to her other offspring to ensure their survival.
While her mate had always been suspicious, Natsu had readily taken the offerings arranged neatly, on a nearby ledge. And after the male disappeared unexpectedly, and her young had left the nest, Natsu returned as if nothing had changed, and always came back thereafter... So why had she abandoned everything her perfect instincts had taught her, to save one she had no blood links to?
Azula inked in her final character, then set the letter aside to dry. It would be remiss, to deny her greatest teacher a final tribute.
She rearranged her legs into a lotus position, pressed her fingers together in her lap, and breathed in deeply. On the exhale, a pressurized firepoint gathered between her fingers. Two more breaths, and the blue flames covered her palms. Pinching the tips of the incense sticks to light them, she reached out and ran her hand over Natsu's body one last time, her caress igniting the bird's feathers.
Picking up the knife, Azula glanced briefly at her reflection in the blade; her eyes were emotionless, but clouded rather than icy. Tired. With a flare of irritation, she drew her arm back and hurled the blade as far into the sea as she could. Turning back to the pyre, she clasped her hands, bowed and closed her eyes. Carry her all the way to the Spirit World... and give her good hunting, whether I join her or not.
The waves drew closer as Natsu's body crackled and withered, her monochrome plumage curling into nothingness. It took far less time (and ceremony) than either of her grandparents' funerals had. After only a few minutes, the fire dimmed and finally fizzled out, leaving a heap of silvery ash on the black sand. Siphoning away the heat, Azula scooped up a handful and lifted her arm above her head. A passing breeze caught the ash and carried it off through the air. She picked up the mask, closed her eyes as she conjured a flame in her right hand...
"I'll take it, if you don't want it." She hadn't heard footsteps behind her, over the waves. But Ty Lee's breath at her shoulder was unmistakable, though they hadn't slept together in several months. "I kept mulling over your words, ever since Omori... 'Too depressing to burn.' Took me a while to figure that one out. But I doubt destroying the symbol as a substitute, will get her out of your head any quicker. Especially if you're still drinking that awful brew-"
"I'm not." The Firebender replied bluntly. Slowly, she lowered her arms back to her side, the ornate piece of wood dropping from her fingers back into the sand and the azure flame going out. She shifted her legs slightly as if uncomfortable, blocking the letter from Ty Lee's view. "I haven't, since..." Her hand reached instinctively upwards, confirming the two feathers were still in her topknot.
Ty Lee's fingers touched her upper back, delicately avoiding the left shoulder blade. "You had Natsu for...seventeen years, I think you said? Longer than you'd been alive, when you brought down the greatest city in the world."
In the past this kind of 'sentimentality', even from Ty Lee, would have brought an eyeroll or a derisive snort. Instead, Azula rubbed her fingers together, letting the last particles drift away. Hidden by her legs, her left hand curled around the letter, slipping it into the front of her belt. A smile touched her lips, masking the pain. "She taught me as much as Ozai did, in half the time."
She leaned forward and blew on the remaining ashes, but they simply billowed out across the beach in lazy spirals. Her Breath of Fire could incinerate, but it couldn't carry, as a gust of wind could. A brief, ironic flicker of envy for the Avatar's Airbending passed through her mind. That he'd managed to trust her, after all their previous encounters... most likely, her lightning strike had damaged his brain a bit. And yet, though it was mainly due to Aang being so predictable, she had trusted him, in turn, to act when they'd needed it most.
"Did... you see him? When Zuko presented his edicts to the Warrior Clans?"
Azula felt her muscles tense as she stood. In truth, her first reaction to Ozai's presence had barely differed from their last encounter, nineteen years ago in the Grey Tower. Despite the visible wasting of her father's body- which, unaware of his lost Bending, she'd assumed to be some form of poison- his voice had still made her tremble. Even seeing him under guard, even without a straightjacket pinning her limbs to her sides, even with Zuko's assurances that Ozai would never be told about Ty Lee- her initial instinct to seeing that face in the throne room, had been to turn her face downward. To melt into the walls, infiltrate his cell later that night, while the Dragon's eyes were closed, and keep them that way forever, with a single swipe of her blade.
In that instant, something had stopped her. Maybe it was the memory of her dream, the night before the Agni Kai, when the Dragon's voice had changed from Ozai's to hers. But... there had been something else in his expression, that made Azula look deeper instead of away. After spending most of her adolescence at Ozai's right hand- and especially after Ursa had disappeared- she had always noticed when her father's contemptuous facade hid something else, something he wouldn't- couldn't -display at court. But for once, it wasn't slow-burning rage. Around the scornful furrow of his mouth, a touch of pride... Proud, perhaps, that he no longer had to deal with his children's feud, the one he and Ursa had instigated in the first place. And, as for the fear, that faint tremble hidden by clenching his gnarled fist... perhaps a hint of it had been there, ever since he'd discovered her deception during the Black Sun.
Seeing those had been just enough to force her own fear back, maintain her poise, remember the truth: she and Zuko had both surpassed the "Phoenix King" long ago. And when she'd caught Zuko's eye as Izumi announced the new edicts, she'd felt a moment of solidarity with her brother she hadn't experienced, since the Crystal Catacombs.
She used Ty Lee's question to change the subject. "This political trap was well-conceived, but it won't hold forever. Forcing the Warrior Clans and Nobility to choose between giving up their status and lands, or being banned from all military or political office, won't stop them scheming. If anything, they'll resent it even more for the lack of opportunity." But she had to admit, it was more shrewdly thought out than many of Zuko's previous initiatives, especially Yu Dao and the Kemurkage incident. He'd consulted with many of his court and family, before signing the final draft- but notably, not the Avatar. None could accuse him of being a foreigner's puppet here, and the new system left all potential rivals either impotent or at an arm's length. And as long as their vigilance continued, Izumi would at least have stronger leverage upon her succession...
"All the same, it changes everything for the civilians' administration. No Fire Lord has ever relinquished so much political power, and certainly not to an elected legislature. The precedent it sets-"
"Means nothing." Azula replied curtly. " The Clans are cowed for now... but at least some will pass their resentment to their descendants. And if they're patient enough to see beyond their pride and 'honor', to play the long game, they'll find a way to overwhelm this new elected body and make our family's life a living Hell again. Alter the education system that Father put in place too quickly, and the citizenry can be swayed from their oath of loyalty to the throne at the first opportunity-"
"The Warriors can hardly paint Zuko as a tyrant, when he's just invited them and the citizens to form a government together. One based on real meritocracy, chosen by the citizens to work alongside the Royal Family, rather than constantly competing with them-"
"You realize I don't give a damn what the 'citizens' think of our family? Anymore than the Warrior Clans do, apart from those who prove themselves a threat?" But once again, she recognized the shrewdness of the new Constitution's major concession- a suggestion, ironically, made by Mai. It legalized Agni Kais, even lethal ones, so long as both parties accepted and they were carried out in public- though, those challenged could refuse without being shamed or punished. For the time being, at least, that would sate some of the Warrior Clans' rabid pride over their 'code of honor'... and make it easier to identify and narrow the field of opposition. Still, for those who sought to make Takeo a martyr... well, that was the whole reason for her threat beforehand. And her plan to make good on it now, as hard as it would be.
"You should, given what it provides for Izumi. For you, as one of Zuko's heirs. Dilluting the powers and prestige of the Fire Lord, makes the office less coveted, puts less of a target on your family's back... and gives Izumi more leverage, over the continuation of the Royal Line. Over who she may spend the rest of her life with."
Azula turned, raised an eyebrow. "Does she... have feelings for someone outside the fold?" That had never been a concern of hers at Izumi's age; then again, her childhood had been overwhelmingly spent with her father and his officers. Perfecting her prowess in military strategy, espionage and Firebending, had kept her far too busy for any foolish courtship games at the Academy- and for that matter, no one had caught her interest besides the woman next to her. In any case, once Zuko had been banished and Ty Lee left for the circus, there had been no one she could confide in besides Lo and Li, her two elderly tutors...
"She's not in danger due to a romantic interest, if that's what you're implying." Ty Lee replied hastily, glancing away. "But it's her business, should she decide to confide in you further. She may want to learn, but she doesn't trust you yet, any more than Zuko or Mai do."
"What about you? Do you... trust me, Ty?"
The acrobat didn't respond for a moment, her hand going unconsciously to the faint burn scars on the side of her face. Katara had felt beneath the surface, confirmed that there was nothing less than superficial damage, but apparently her healing abilities could fix almost anything except the scarring itself. Mindful of revealing anything about her feelings for Ty Lee- and knowing it would be unwise to press Katara, given the new scar on the Avatar's chest- Azula had remained silent, fuming over the irony behind a mask of indifference.
When the Kiyoshi Warrior finally spoke, her voice was tight in her throat, her words chosen slowly and carefully. "What I've seen in you, in the last month..." Her cheeks reddened. "Twenty years ago, I could never have imagined that. I mean, I imagined things much more naive when we were kids and teenagers, but..." She turned fully towards Azula, her eyes like stormclouds. "Before I answer that question, though, answer me this... have you given me any real reason to trust you?"
Azula bit back a retort, masking her frustration with a shrug. "I'm still willing to submit to the Beifong woman's interrogation, if you doubt my resolve-"
"I'm not Long Feng." Ty Lee gave her a sharp look. The "or you" hovered in the air, unspoken. "I... I won't keep secrets from those I protect. Especially concerning my safety and theirs."
Azula blinked. "What a ridiculous... you, Zuko and Mai kept secrets from Izumi, for years-"
"For her protection. So she wouldn't reveal it to someone who might take advantage-"
"Which was precisely why I kept you in the dark, about my own plan. You bore witness, as it unfolded and succeeded." The Firebender's voice hardened with impatience. "You saw and heard my vow to Zuko. I swore-"
"Since when have words meant anything to you? How long have you spent lying or withholding, justifying everything through 'victory?'"
"I won't apologize, for how my plan unfolded." Azula felt her jaw tighten. "Except... for not getting there in time." Her hand strayed toward the scars on Ty Lee's temple, but the Kiyoshi Warrior caught her arm. Despite avoiding the chi points, her grip was like a vise.
"Don't." Her eyes weren't narrowed, but hard and bright. "You think a few battle scars matters to me, after losing Jeonsa? After nearly losing everyone else...?" Her voice trailed off, but her grip softened.
"I wasn't talking about your hair." Azula gritted her teeth, her eyes going back to the shoreline. "For most of my exile, Natsu was the only thing that kept me going. The only... warm thing, outside my Bending, that I could touch, since I left the Capital... until Omori." She felt her fingers trembling and tried to wrench her hand away, but for once it was Ty Lee's grip, that was unbreakable. "Was... that all a lie, a manipulation, too?" She let out a cynical chuckle at Ty Lee's impassive expression. "Fair is fair, I suppose. I... did the same to you, for years on end, for my own purposes. I thought of it as teaching, when it was just manipulation..." She closed her eyes for a long moment, then returned the Kiyoshi Warrior's gaze. "I'm sorry, Ty."
Ty Lee stared at her for a long moment, then finally released her wrist. "When Takeo killed Natsu... I couldn't recognize you, when you were chasing him down. That look on your face... if Izumi and I hadn't stopped you, he would have taken you with him, on your own knifepoint. And... you had the same look, when you chased down Long Feng after you freed me." Her hand touched Azula's. "I was afraid... that other side of you, the one Natsu helped you build over the last decade, was gone in an instant, along with everything I'd known, feared and loved for years."
The Firebender let her hands fall to her sides, exhaling slowly. Some of that wild rage had always been there, since before Sozin's comet... since the Boiling Rock, even. She would never have been able to deceive Takeo as well as she had, if some of it hadn't been genuine.
"I know you're going after Shingen and whoever else escaped, whoever still poses a threat to your family." Ty Lee continued, her voice tight. "And obviously, I can't physically stop you." Azula cocked an eyebrow, prompting a rueful smile. "Alright, probably can't physically stop you. But until you treat me as an equal, let me see you without the mask, I'll do what I have to to know what you're hiding from me... especially if it concerns your safety. " She raised her opposite hand; Azula's letter flapped between two of her fingers. "Anything I should know?"
Azula felt her lips purse together in an equally wry smile. Pickpocketing was something she'd never learned, but Ty Lee was already a master, it seemed. "A little correspondence with Kaname. The younger sister of Lady Tomoe, and the last of my Kemurikage followers; she's been keeping me informed of events in the Fire Nation for the last few decades. Natsu was our go-between, while I was traveling."
"How... does she keep you informed? I thought they deserted you, after you left one of them behind on a raid..."
"They did. But once I informed Tomoe of her sister's location...Kaname was unstable and frightened, happy to exchange the wilderness for the comfort and security of her siblings' estate. Of course, eventually Tomoe was exposed and fled to Takeo, but by then Kaname had recovered and was happy to return her sister's favor. She never let Tianze know that she knew of both our whereabouts. And once she knew I had enabled her resurrection, and that all I asked was that she leave occasional messages and tidbits for Natsu... She trusted me."
"She isn't me." Ty Lee gave her a hard look. "I know what you're capable of, Azula. I know that any one of them doesn't stand a chance against you, when you've got your armor up. But your enemies aren't alone, and they've proved it can be broken. That there are things you aren't willing to lose. And if you can't accept that... well, if you can't have faith in others to guard that vulnerability for you, you can't expect them to reciprocate that trust to you."
"Then... what can I do, to earn back your trust? Once... I return?" It would be some time before she could. Between Shingen, Rila and the Warriors that both Long Feng and Takeo had been working on, her work was cut out for her...
She froze suddenly as the acrobat's hand touched her solar plexus, just below her breasts. It was a simple gesture, but one that preluded a certain... exchange, when they had been intimate.
"You can earn my trust... by accepting that you're human." Ty Lee's gaze moved to the Noh mask. Her fingers moved from the front of the Princess' jerkin to brush the scab on her wrist. "That you're not the 'monster' your parents labeled you as, nor do you have to change everyone else around you into one, that you can make mistakes. Even when Takeo killed Natsu, when I was most afraid for you... it proved you were human. Loss causes pain, yes... but sometimes it allows you to evolve, balance yourself. As I did, on Kiyoshi Island. Takeo and Long Feng, both proved that your armor can be broken. And that's what it means to love- to be vulnerable, no matter how much you might be hurt in the process."
"That's... how I've survived this long." Azula's voice was thick in her own throat, now. She reached up, touching the feathers in her topknot again. "By keeping my armor up."
"Then trust at least a few other people, to help you maintain it, as I do with Mai and the Kiyoshi Warriors. If you wear it constantly... it will get worn down, rust away, lose its' lustre."
The Firebender's brow creased as she recognized the words. "You stole that phrase from Lo and Li, didn't you?" Her brief smile faded. "I... visited their graves, on the way here."
"I'm not surprised. I'm sure they said it to you often enough." Ty Lee cocked an eyebrow, undeterred by the deflection. "They were the closest thing to you that Iroh was to Zuko, even if they barely scratched the surface."
"I suppose you're right." Azula still wasn't sure how to react to Iroh's fate. Zuko's words didn't change anything, of course; but Iroh's guarded forgiveness on her return did surprise her a bit. They hadn't spoken since, but unlike some others, he wasn't pushing any boundaries...
Ty Lee interrupted her thoughts with a light touch on her arm. "But, back to their and my point... If you want to survive alone, that's fine... but if you want to be part of something larger, and not merely sit atop one like your father did, there has to be some exchange. That's the basis of trust... that's why I chose Mai, over you, at the Boiling Rock. I told you before, I would have followed you to the Fire Nation's final victory over the Avatar in another time. But you never gave back to me, anything I could accept. No matter how strongly I felt." Her fingers twined with Azula's briefly, stroked her hair. "... For the time being, I'm returning to Kiyoshi Island. I need time to hone my skills, to grieve for Jeonsa... and think. You're welcome to join me... but given the commitments you've made to Zuko and your family, I imagine you'll be busy sorting those out first."
At the phrase "your family', Auzla felt her chest tighten again. Her mind flashed to a few days before, as she'd been passing down a corridor at the palace.
"Azula?" The voice was shaking, its' timbre like and unlike that of the old housewife she'd met with Zuko, in Hira'a.
The Princess froze, her eyes darting for a curtain, screen or door to duck behind. But the elderly woman in dark crimson robes- almost exactly her height- had already moved into her field of vision, her long-nailed hand hand tentatively outstretched. Behind her was Zuko's half-sister, thick hair pulled back in a plait, her expression hard and wary... and at her right, an old man with a narrow mustache and beard, gripping a cane. She'd seen him before, at Hira'a... the girl's father.
"Do... do you recognize me? I... I know the last time I saw you, I didn't have the same face, but-"
"Why do you think I tore your house apart, just after that meeting?" Azula's voice was quiet and curt. "Would I have bothered to, if you were just a peasant woman?" For a second, her mother's bronze eyes were inches away, glaring reproachfully from beneath a cowl. Horns sprouted from her forehead, brass fangs curled from her lips, and her face shifted to a poisonous blue shade-
Kiyi's face darkened, and Ursa flinched, but she kept going. "I... Zuko told me, what you did. For him, for Izumi. That you... set this all up to protect our family. I... I don't know how to thank you enough, to tell you how proud I am of y-"
"I never asked for your thanks,. I didn't need it. Just as I've never needed your approval, your pity, your care or..." She broke off, swallowing quickly and looking away.
"I love you, Azula. I do." Ursa's face loomed close again, her tone harder than her words. "Monster or no-"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Azula shrieked, stepping backwards. Suddenly, her mother had recoiled to the opposite wall of the corridor, no cowl over her brow, Kiyi gripping her shoulder protectively. She felt heat rising from her palms, and made an effort to slow her breathing, her hand going to the feathers in her topknot. "I'm... NOT... a monster... anymore."
"Wh... what do you m..." Ursa's eyes widened. "Oh, Spirits. All those years ago, you heard..." She pressed her hand to her forehead. "I never meant for you to overhear those words-"
"Just as you never meant for me to hear you mutter what was wrong with me? Yet you said it, before I'd even left the room." Azula snarled. "You expect me to believe you now?"
Ursa flinched, but started to move forward again, slowly and tentatively. Her hand lowered from her face, revealing damp eyes. "I don't know whether anything I say will get through to you... Zuko's hinted over the years at how much Ozai poisoned you against me, while I was gone. But I chose to leave, without telling either of you why... that's something I've never forgiven myself for. It's half the reason I gave up my memories to the Kao-No-Okasan Spirit in the first place; I couldn't bear the pain of what I might have inflicted on both of you. Especially that I never told you that I loved you, beforehand, never woke you to say farewell...that was far and away, my greatest mistake."
Azula froze at the final word; Ursa paused, then shrugged off her younger daughter's hand and moved closer. "I... I want to hear, whatever you have to say. Given what Zuko's told me, I can only guess what you went through in my absence-"
"Your absence?" The Princess' voice shook. "As to what I 'went through' while you were gone, you did me a blessing by leaving. Better than anything you ever whispered in Zuzu's ear... but unfortunately, you weren't gone the whole time. I've heard your voice muttering in my head on-and-off, for the last two decades. Affirming what I am-" she broke off, as Ursa's face briefly changed to the Dragon.
Her mother's eyes dampened, and her pace quickened. "Azula, I can never begin to tell you how sorry I am. For the words that you overheard... and the words you didn't. I did say goodbye, but I didn't wake you when I did." Her arms stretched out, her fingers touching her daughter's shoulder. "Zuko was confused enough when I woke him first-"
"DON"T TOUCH ME!" Adrenaline jotled through her system, and Azula thrust her arms outward, hurling her mother back to the stone floor. Kiyi moved forward, her eyes hard and a flame blooming over her hand, but Azula ignored her. "Zuzu arranged this whole farce, didn't he?"
Emotions boiled and twisted within the Fire Princess. Of course, her mother had been too weak to endure the pain. Of course, she had only been willing to confide the truth in her firstborn, the one who was the splitting image of her. How like her ancestor Avatar Roku, unable to make a decisive decision but feebly taking the middle ground. Ursa stared at her, shocked and dismayed.
"Zuko had nothing to do with this, beyond telling our mother that you returned." Kiyi spoke up for the first time. For all the wariness on her face and in her stance, her voice was more level than either of the other two. "Though he would gladly have-"
"Presented us before each other in the throne room, with the same pomp and ceremony he just did with Father?" Azula cut her off. "I've had enough false reunions for today, thank you." Her right hand gripped her left upper arm, straying unconsciously toward her shoulder, before she caught herself.
"I never knew if you were alive or dead, all these years, Azula." Ursa's voice shook. "No matter the circumstances, that's a terrible thing for any parent to experience. I don't know if your father ever did, but if you have children of your own one day-"
The Firebender let out a mirthless laugh. "I'm not you, Mother. The only thing you ever gave me was a mask... the tool that's kept me alive, kept anyone from getting too close, just as you did when you joined the Royal Family. I suppose I will thank you for that."
Her husband's grip on his cane tightened. "She did not join it willingly-"
"Anymore than I did Takeo's conspiracy, except to set it up for collapse. That doesn't change what happened in the interim." Azula closed her eyes, turned away, fighting the urge to draw her fingers across her lurching stomach. She wasn't ready for this, not today. These hollow, wheedling apologies stuck in her throat. If her mother wanted to build a bond between them, find common ground... she would have to earn it, as Ty Lee, Natsu and Zuko each had. It was only fitting; Ozai and Ursa had been drilling that into their children since their youth, whether they meant to or not. She exhaled slowly. "If you want to send me a message, I'm sure Zuko will be happy to pass it along; I'll see to it that he knows where to reach me."
Turning on her heel, she sprinted down the hall as fast as she could, ignoring the voices that followed her, their tones a familiar mixture of pleading and angry reproach, as always-
"Azula." A hand, much softer than her mother's, brushed her wrist. "They aren't here. You're safe with me."
The Princess blinked, then let out a slow sigh. Her body still had as much energy as ever when she Firebent, but something inside her felt... heavier, since the Battle of Zamyn Togsgol, and confronting each of her parents. She slept sooner, and deeper, to the point that her tea was no longer necessary. The nightmares no longer plagued her, though she still occasionally heard Ozai or Ursa muttering in her ear.
"Did... you tell her anything? About..." Her hand moved again towards the scar. Had Ursa chosen to embrace her only out of guilt and pity? After everything in the last months, the ways in which Ty had changed... yet, the fear was there.
Ty Lee's fingers found hers, intertwining with them gently again. "How was that mine, to tell? I may not keep many secrets, but... I don't speak for those I love, either."
Azula exhaled sharply, her hand involuntarily relaxing, the corners of her eyes feeling hot. She reached out and wrapped her arms around the acrobat, pulling her close. Ty Lee turned towards her, chin up, and their lips met. After a long moment, they broke apart; Ty Lee nuzzled her chin in the hollow of the taller woman's shoulder. Azula rested hers atop the crown of Ty Lee's head, her other hand brushing her back.
A soft voice came from the Firebender's left side, where she usually heard her father's reproaches. "I said I'd come with you, as a condition of our Agni Kai. I still intend to honor that. But only once you can come back to me with some light in your eyes, like you had whenever Natsu came back to you. Once your... obsession with sating every threat to your dynasty, has been sated."
"That may take some time." Until Shingen, tracking down the Dai Li would be a longer task. But, if there was any risk that Long Feng had informed that bratty teenager or her dithering father of her feelings for Ty Lee... or even worse, of recovering that 'reeducation' apparatus... "If we're to keep Izumi's path to the throne clear, I'll be traveling outside the Fire Nation for some time. You know how many threats there are-"
"And I know how skilled you are. But you don't have to deal with every single one yourself. And if you make a mistake, Zuko will forgive you... even if you can't. I could even ask Suki to send a few Warriors to support you." She raised an eyebrow teasingly. "Just so long as none of them catch your fancy..."
Azula bit back her smile as she stroked the Kiyoshi woman's now-cropped hair. "There's only ever been one to do that, for me. I'll be coming back for her, once this is all over." Zuko had told her it was possible- and against her judgement, her experience, she was tempted to believe him. And if Izumi, her pupil and heir, was able to choose who she might spend the rest of her life with... "I appreciate the offer, but it's better if I go alone. I'll bring along a messenger hawk, so if I need assistance I'll let you or Zuko know."
As Ty Lee finally broke away from their embrace, she pressed something smooth and flat against Azula's side. The Firebender glanced down at the grinning, demonic visage. Now that she looked at it more carefully... from a certain angle, its' features were more reminiscent of a dragon than a demon. Like what she'd seen in Izumi's flames, when the girl had interrupted her mad lunge at Takeo...
Perhaps she would make her way to Phleung Woat, once her hunt was complete. It would be interesting, if she could meet an equal in Firebending at last. Slipping the mask into the back of her belt, she closed her eyes for a moment, pressed her forehead to Ty Lee's.
"You don't have to forgive either of your parents yet, Azula. Forgive yourself first. Even if that takes time."
"...Thank you, Ty. For everything." She leaned down and kissed her lips one last time. "I love you."
The breath whistled quickly from Ty Lee's throat, and then she smiled softly. "I know. Come back when you can trust me."
Azula inhaled deeply, then turned away and started up the rocks. The wind rustled the feathers in her topknot. Alone once more... but this hunt at least, would be the last.