Chapter 5

It was nearly midnight when Charles let himself in through the kitchen door. He was surprised to see a footman snap to attention as he walked through the door.

"Mr. Bingley sir, Mr. Darcy would wish to speak to you." the young man said. Charles was taken aback, until he realized the footman was referring to his nephew Bennet Darcy, not his deceased friend Fitzwilliam Darcy. He silently followed the footman to the study where he found his nephew Bennet nursing a glass of brandy. And it was obviously not his first glass of the evening.

When the footman announced Mr. Bingley, Bennet's eyes snapped to him. "Good of you to join us. That will be all Thomas, thank you for waiting up. Take the morning off, Mrs. Darcy would insist."

"Thank you sir." the young man said with a bow as he exited the room and closed the door behind him.

"Bennet, good to see you. What brings you to the dower house at this time of night?" Charles asked with a lightness in his voice that he did not truthfully feel.

"I have bloody well been here since I received a note from my mother after dinner." Bennet replied sharply. "Shall I read it?" He picked up the note on the table next to him. " 'Charles has been gone all day. I do not know where he has gone. I am worried.' I sent her to bed hours ago, although if she ever found sleep I would be surprised." The thunderous look on the younger man's face reminded Charles of the very rare times he had seen his friend Fitzwilliam get mad, really mad.

"I am sorry. I will apologize to her in the morning. I did not mean to worry her." An uneasy quiet came over the gentlemen.

"You do realize that Aunt Jane was my mother's sister long before she was your wife, do you not? You did not think that maybe, just maybe, my mother could have used your support on her sister's birthday? If I knew you were going to be gone all day, I would have invited her to dinner at Pemberley, like I did last year, and kept her busy chasing after the grandchildren. Something, anything would have been better than to have her here, alone, worrying about you." Bennet could have passed for his father. Charles felt the fool.

"I am sorry, I did not think I could be good company for her today, so I spent the day riding the estate. It did not help. I left word with the staff to not wait dinner for me." An uncomfortable pause lingered between the two men.

"Are you going to tell her?" Bennet asked gently.

"Tell her what?" Bingley replied hesitantly.

"That you love her." He paused and stared intently at his uncle. "I think she has the right to know. Maria was the one who tipped me off. She said you two were acting like an old married couple at dinner last week. She wondered if you two had an understanding."

"Well, we have the old part down at least." quipped Charles, attempting to lighten the conversation. "I don't know if I dare. If I should. What if she does not feel the same? That would ruin our relationship completely. If she were some random lady, not my sister-in-law, not my best friend's widow, this would be a lot easier. Jane was my whole world, just like your father was her whole world. Can we get past that? I just do not know."

"You will never know unless you ask her. I know my father regretted that he left Meryton the first time without speaking to her. They lost eight months of happiness. You two are not getting any younger." The conversation paused. After they each refilled their glasses, the younger man asked again. "So, are you going to tell my mother?"

Neither one had noticed the study door opening. "Tell me what?" Elizabeth strode into the study, still wearing her evening dress. Her eyes were red and puffy. Both men shot to their feet.

Bennet shot stern looks at the two standing there awkwardly. He picked up his glass, kissed his mother on the cheek and closed the door as he left.

Charles quickly crossed the room to her and took her hand. "Elizabeth, oh I am so sorry for worrying you. I should have been here. Bennet made me realize that today would be as painful for you as it would be for me. I should have been here for you. Forgive me."

"No, I understand how hard it must be for you. She was your wife for nearly 40 years. You needed time to yourself, I do not begrudge you that. It is just that as it got later and later, I worried so for you. Please forgive me for involving Bennet, it was silly of me. You had left word, I should have just believed you, trusted you."

"No, the reason I left," he trailed off and dropped her hand. "The reason I could not be here," he trailed off again. He spun around, throwing his hands out wide. "How do I explain it?" He took a big breath as he ran his fingers through his hair. "The reason I could not be around you today was that it would feel like I was betraying my wife, if..." again he trailed off, took another deep breath and turned to face her. "It would feel like I was betraying my wife if I were to tell another woman, her sister no less, that I love her. Not as a sister. This is different."

He paused to gather his thoughts. She did not look angry or upset, so he continued. "I did not come to Pemberley looking for love, but I found it nevertheless. I am sorry if this shocks you. It had been coming on so slowly that I did not recognize what I was feeling until less than a fortnight ago, when we walked in the garden. It felt so different than any of the dozen times we strolled among flowers over the years. I could not name it then, but I can surely label it now. I love you Elizabeth. I do not know if you return my love, or if there is any hope that my love for you could ever be returned in the same way, but now you know, for good or evil." He had taken her other hand and hoped she would not pull away.

Elizabeth said nothing. She could not. What could she say? She had not faced her own unsettled feelings, let alone imagined that he might be feeling the same thing that she was trying to puzzle out. But, as she looked up into Charles' eyes, it all became clear. Yes, she did love this man and no, it was not the love for a brother. It was something entirely different. The fact that the thought of kissing him passed through her mind only served to clarify her thoughts.

When he stated that he did not come to Pemberley looking for love, she believed him. He was so broken when he arrived that it seemed he could not love anyone, not even himself. If he had said that he loved her back then, she would not have believed him. But now, something had changed between them. Could it be that they were in love? How could their lives, their wants, their intentions change so suddenly?

No, it was not suddenly, she realized. They had been changing slowly over the time he was here. He had been healing, but then, so had she. She was determined to not let time slip away from them. There was little enough time left on this earth for each of them and she would not waste it.

When she did not say anything, he dropped her hands and turned towards the door. "I will ask Bennet if I can stay at Pemberley until I can travel back to Oakhaven. I will be gone at first light."

He stopped but did not turn towards her as she said. "That might be for the best." He started to leave as she raised her voice slightly and continued. "As it is unseemly for an engaged couple to remain under the same roof, without a proper chaperone, regardless of their ages." He turned around so fast he almost lost his balance. He strode to her.

Taking her hand, he said "Are you saying what I think you are? Can it be true? Would you have me?" She nodded. "I do not think I could get down on one knee, Elizabeth, but please tell me plainly. Will you marry me?"

"Yes, Charles, I will marry you. It has taken me a while to understand my own feelings, but the fact that I wish you would kiss me right now has brought clarity to my thoughts."

A man knows when he has been given his marching orders and without further ado he wrapped his little Elizabeth in his arms and kissed her soundly on the lips. When he finally let up, he whispered "Say you do not want a long engagement. We are not getting any younger."

"I think before Twelfth Night would be ideal. The children will be here for Christmas and even my Charles should be able to get away from his parish after Christmas proper. Oh it is going to get very confusing around here with my Charles, you and Charles Junior. I wonder if it is allowed for a son, or son-in-law to preside at his mother's wedding?"

"Do I need to ask Bennet for permission to marry you?" Charles joked. "I think he would not withhold his permission seeing as how he was the one who convinced me to finally make my feelings known. His Maria thought we looked like an old married couple at dinner last week."

"Well, we have the old part down at least." his fiancée said.

"Funny, that is exactly what I said to Bennet."

After a couple more kisses, they decided that they should not tempt fate further and each retired to their rooms. Charles was up at first light to talk to Bennet and have the footmen move his things to Pemberley until the wedding.