Stormbrook and Birdpaw trailed the end of Lionstar's patrol, holding healing herbs in their jaws. The sweet, pungent taste of marigold made Birdpaw's whiskers twitch, and it was the size of the herbs in her jaws that prevented her from opening her jaws to barrage Stormbrook with questions. Stormbrook's amber eyes were narrowed into slits, holding a bundle of herbs in his own mouth. Birdpaw's muscles strained with tension as she quickened her pace to catch up to Lionstar and his patrol.
Once the patrol climbed up the slope, the first part of it, led by Toadstep, broke off to engage with the ThunderClan patrol that Birdpaw could see was stalking through the territory. Birdpaw was about to watch, but Stormbrook laid his fluffy tail over her slight shoulders and led her towards a massive pine tree, dappled in shadows. Both medicine cats dropped their herbs at the roots of the tree and sat down. Birdpaw fidgeted with anxiety and was surprised at how Stormbrook managed to stay so calm.
Stormbrook gazed steadily at Birdpaw. "I've done this multiple times before," he meowed, as if reading her mind.
Birdpaw felt blood pound in her ears and her heart thump rapidly in her chest. "Does it get any easier?" she asked. Is the enemy Raggedstar warned me about on this patrol? I haven't had the chance to tell Lionstar yet. If I told Lionstar before the attack, could I possibly have prevented it?
"Once you've seen it many times, you eventually become desensitized," Stormbrook said wryly, wrapping his thick black-and-gray tail over his big paws as he watched the battle unfold in front of his very eyes. Birdpaw scanned the crowd, searching for her brother's brown tabby pelt. He had been the cat who came into camp, panting and out of breath as he reported the arrival of ThunderClan cats, and he had led Toadstep and Lionstar to their last known location. Even though Talonpaw hadn't been training nearly as long as Birdpaw guessed the ThunderClan apprentices were, there was no doubt that he would be in the front lines. Worry for her brother had her unsheathe her claws and tear up the grass beneath her.
Please, let Talonpaw be okay! Birdpaw prayed to the gods. She knew that Thistlesnow and Sparrowflight were quite capable of taking care of themselves, and they had probably fought in more battles than Birdpaw could count on her toes. But Talonpaw was just an apprentice, at the claws of furious ThunderClan warriors. Please, StarClan, watch over my brother and keep him safe.
A furious yowl – Birdpaw recognized it as Toadstep's – split the air, and snarling and hissing made the birds fly from the pine trees in a flutter of panic as the forest broke out into a swarm of fighting cats. Birdpaw stepped back as blood splattered through the air, landing ominously close to her. Stormbrook didn't move a muscle. Birdpaw's tail lashed in fear as the ThunderClan cats matched ShadowClan's strength, inch for inch. ShadowClan was pushing them back, but that did not mean ThunderClan was losing.
Birdpaw swallowed the lump in her throat as she watched Hopflight lash his massive front paw against a thick-furred brown-and-white tom, his long claws slicing open the flesh of his face. The ThunderClan tom hissed in fury and leaped on Hopflight, disappearing under a bundle of the ShadowClan tom's black fur. Birdpaw felt her muscles itch, and she wanted to join, to help, but she couldn't imagine taking a life, if it came to that. Featherheart roared like a lion as he rained blow after blow on a brown-and-white she-cat's chest, while Redfeather and Cloudsong worked together to incapacitate two ThunderClan warriors intent on sneaking past them. Through the hazy red fog of the fight, Birdpaw could make out the triangular face of Ashenhawk, her black stripes on her silver pelt as stark as the shadows from the pine trees on the forest floor. Birdpaw glanced over at Stormbrook and realized that he too had caught her gaze. There was a world of sorrow in the expression of both cats – so much pain and agony that it took Birdpaw's breath away.
Does he think it's his fault? Birdpaw wondered to herself. I know that the Clans have been at war since before my mother was born, but did his affair with Ashenhawk make things with ThunderClan even worse? Birdpaw itched for answers to these questions, but she didn't know if Stormbrook would ever trust her enough to reveal the secrets he must have kept hidden inside his heart. Is that why he looks like he's in so much pain? Unable to see her mentor in such agony, Birdpaw pressed her head against his shoulder. Stormbrook stiffened, his amber eyes wide, but Birdpaw shut her own eyes and let the tears stream down her cheeks. It was as if she could feel Stormbrook's pain for herself – raw and harrowing, as if a chunk of her own heart was taken out.
In the midst of battle, as chaos reigned around her, hisses and howls splitting the air while Birdpaw could taste the salty tang of blood even though it was not hers, Stormbrook murmured quietly, "I loved her. I loved her so much. I couldn't let her go, even if I wanted to. But it was our love that tore us – and the cats we cared so dearly for – apart."
"Did it make the war worse between your Clans?" Birdpaw asked quietly.
Stormbrook nodded. "Very much so. The Clan leader before Lionstar, Wolfstar, used his last dying words to curse me. Lionstar – he was Lionfire at the time – heard the entire thing. When I asked him what he thought about Wolfstar's last words, he simply shook his head and said that he needed to go to the Moonpool alone."
"Both of them blame you?" Birdpaw asked, her mouth dropping into a gasp. "But you stopped meeting her, right? You did! I could tell. And you've spent your time as a loyal ShadowClan medicine cat, treating every cat who came to you, in battles, when they've done something foolish, and—"
"But some things may never truly be rectified," Stormbrook whispered, the harrowing pain in his voice cutting a blunt claw through Birdpaw's heart. "My foolishness is the reason Wolfstar lost his last life. Ashenhawk and I were meeting on private land, and Wolfstar came to find me because I had been missing. At the same time, one of Ashenhawk's Clanmates came to find her. We were on ThunderClan territory, that gave Ashenhawk's Clanmate every right to attack Wolfstar. So he did, and it killed Wolfstar. That was when… when we had to stop meeting… and why the moment Lionfire received his nine lives, he attacked ThunderClan."
Birdpaw stood in silence as she listened to Stormbrook recall the tale of tragedy, love, sorrow, and betrayal in the midst of a battle caused by that very story. She didn't know what to say to her mentor. There was nothing she could say, was there? What could she say that would ease the pain Stormbrook was going through? He had been suffering for years, there was nothing she could say that could help. If only there was some herb that could heal his heart. Just as she opened her mouth, a piercing, pained yowl came from the crowd. Birdpaw leaped to her paws.
"Birdpaw!" Stormbrook shouted out as Birdpaw shot from the roots of the pine tree. "Come back!"
"It's Leafpaw!" Birdpaw exclaimed, having recognized the cry from the time one of the other kits started it in the nursery – it was just a bit deeper now. "I'll be right back!"
She turned and stared at the chaos in front of her. Morningmist was driven to the ground by a dark tabby tom. Snowsplash and Fallensnow were fighting for their lives against a pair of powerful robust toms. Sparrowflight cleaved a she-cat with a powerful front paw and sent her flying. Lightpebble and Copperlight worked together and drove a tom back through the pines.
"Stay safe!" Stormbrook yowled, but his voice was drowned out by the snarling of cats. Birdpaw skidded to a halt when she approached the front lines, and she recognized Daisypaw battling with a young black-and-white she-cat. Daisypaw looked over and caught Birdpaw's glimpse, her blue eyes wide. Daisypaw immediately pinned the black-and-white she-cat down.
"Stay down, Ravenkit!" Daisypaw hissed. "Go, Birdpaw!"
Birdpaw nodded at Daisypaw as she held she-cat down, and she leaped over the two cats as she swerved through the throng of fighting cats. She could feel blood splatter her pelt and watched fur fly in the air. When the familiar cry came again, Birdpaw was much closer to it this time. She leaped over fallen bodies, with the assistance of some of her Clanmates who forced a path for her, Birdpaw came across Leafpaw's brown-and-golden dappled body, lying limp on the ground.
Triage, Birdpaw thought, but realized she hadn't brought her herbs. Oh no!
"Birdpaw?" The voice was raspy, but Birdpaw knew who it belonged to before she even had to turn her head. Birdpaw looked over her shoulder to see Talonpaw limping over towards her. His left ear was torn, and there was a deep scratch on his shoulder, still dripping blood. Even so, his amber eyes were blazing with the light of battle. Birdpaw stared at her brother, unsure of what to say. "What are you doing here?"
"L-Leafpaw," Birdpaw finally choked the name out, nodding to the apprentice's limp body. "I heard him howling. Look." She pointed with her tail to a deep wound in the apprentice's throat, jagged and oozing a waterfall of crimson blood. Birdpaw knew that if the bleeding wasn't stopped anytime soon, Leafpaw would be on his way to join StarClan. "But I can't hold him on my back and fight my way back out again."
"Leave that to me." Talonpaw bent down and grabbed Leafpaw's scruff in his jaws.
"Gently!" Birdpaw urged the dark tabby.
Talonpaw grunted in acknowledgement of Birdpaw's command, resting his denmate across his broad back. Talonpaw lifted his head and scanned the forest side. "Is that Stormbrook?" he asked. When Birdpaw said nothing, Talonpaw shrugged his shoulders. "Stick close to me, Birdpaw. Don't leave my side."
Birdpaw nodded numbly, unable to feel her paws as she followed Talonpaw. Talonpaw flew through the front lines, lashing out at any cat who got in his way as he forced a path through the battling cats and towards the line of pine trees where Stormbrook was already tending the injured cats that had made their way to him. Talonpaw quickened his pace, and Birdpaw could see his brother wince as his shoulder flexed with every movement. He's hurt, too! Birdpaw thought in a panic. But not as bad as Leafpaw…
When the two cats reached Stormbrook, Talonpaw gently draped Leafpaw to the ground before turning on his heel. Birdpaw sank her teeth into the tip of his tail and pulled him back, anger making her blood burn.
"Where do you think you're going?" she demanded.
"Back to battle!" Talonpaw told her, his amber eyes wide as if he could not believe she was stopping him. "Don't you see that we're matched neck-for-neck? Now that Leafpaw is out, I need to fight twice as hard to push them back."
"But you're injured!" Birdpaw exclaimed, pointing with her tail to Talonpaw's shoulder. "Don't think I didn't see how much pain you were in when you were holding Leafpaw."
"Birdpaw." Talonpaw lifted his head. "Someone has to hold the line. If the line collapses, then ThunderClan will take over the forest. They want to take our freedom from us. And I fight for freedom – mine, and everybody else's. I fight for the right to choose our own fate. And if I die, I'll die knowing that I did everything I could to stop ThunderClan. And I'll die free."
Die…? The intensity of Talonpaw's words, the sincerity in his deep amber eyes made the fur on Birdpaw's spine prick up as she backed up. But she knew there was nothing she could do to stop this born warrior from going back to battle. Birdpaw dug her head into her brother's pale chest fur.
"Stay safe," Birdpaw whispered. "We need you in ShadowClan."
Talonpaw rasped his tongue over his sister's head roughly. "Save Leafpaw. Don't let him die." When Birdpaw pulled away from her brother's battered body, Talonpaw shot back into the direction of the battle, and Birdpaw dragged Leafpaw's body closer to Stormbrook. Stormbrook was tending meticulously to a wound on Icefire's shoulder. Icefire itched with anxiety as Stormbrook slathered the last of the poultice on it.
"How's the battle going?" Stormbrook asked Icefire.
"We're going to win," Icefire said, lashing her pure white tail, "even if we have to drag Flintstar and his warriors in our grave as well."
"If you're so confident in victory, that means they can go without you," Stormbrook said dryly. "Go back to camp. You'll be no use going back into battle – you'll just worsen that shoulder more."
Icefire blinked, seemingly taken aback by Stormbrook's harsh tone. "Very well," the she-cat agreed icily. "Lionstar is fighting like an army of a thousand warriors. ThunderClan is going to fall, mark my words."
"Stay safe!" Birdpaw called out as Icefire limped away from Stormbrook, clearly favoring her left arm as she disappeared into the shadows of the pine forest. Birdpaw laid Leafpaw in front of Stormbrook, and the two medicine cats took seats on opposite sides of the young tom's wound.
"Deep throat wound," Stormbrook remarked, using the tip of his claw to lift Leafpaw's head to take a closer look at the wound. "We need to stop the bleeding as soon as possible. Birdpaw, I brought cobwebs in that parcel. Give me as many as you can."
Birdpaw nodded and glanced at the herbs Stormbrook had already unwrapped. She grabbed the cobwebs with outstretched claws and started to pack them on Leafpaw's bleeding wound. She winced as the blood seemed to completely soak through the cobwebs and trickle onto the paws of both medicine cats. Stormbrook scooped up a pawful of more cobwebs and pressed them against the wound.
"What about horsetail?" Birdpaw asked as Stormbrook worked tirelessly to staunch the bleeding.
"Yes, good idea," Stormbrook said without looking up. "Chew it into a poultice – and add some goldenrod to that, as well."
"All right." Birdpaw fished out the bright yellow flowers and the bristly-stemmed dark green plants and chewed them separately. Rolling out a dock leaf, she spat out the poultice on the leaf and watched as Stormbrook peeled away the cobwebs from Leafpaw's wound. Birdpaw plastered the poultice against Leafpaw's throat wound, her heartbeat pounding loudly in her ears, every muscle strained as she prayed to StarClan that Leafpaw would make it through. He was deathly still – the only thing that told Birdpaw he was still alive was the faint rise and fall of his chest. Other than that, he didn't react to any of Birdpaw's movements. His painful howls were just a memory now.
"Birdpaw," Stormbrook murmured. "I can't have him out here. He needs to be in a den where it's warm and he has access to water. I need you to bring him to ShadowClan's camp."
"What?" Birdpaw's green eyes widened. "Me?"
"Listen, you won't have to go through the battle like you did when you had to go get him. Our herbs are there, there's a nest there already. Leafpaw won't last much longer if we leave him here. I can handle everything myself here. Right now, we need to save Leafpaw's life, and that starts with getting him somewhere that's warm, quiet, and has water." Stormbrook's amber eyes were intense as he stared at Birdpaw. "Please."
Birdpaw glanced over at the battle. Even though cats were still shredding each other, and sunlight still danced off the silver of claws, it seemed that there were less ThunderClan cats than before. Birdpaw took a deep breath. She nodded to her mentor, and he helped pick Leafpaw up and put him on her back. Birdpaw touched her nose to Stormbrook's chest before bounding away, praying to StarClan that no ThunderClan cat would follow them. Birdpaw felt her heart race in her chest as her paws pounded over the forest floor, covered in pine needles. She looked over her shoulder to see a droplet of blood landing on her gray-and-white fur, and immediately she began to run faster.
The ShadowClan medicine cat apprentice breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the patches of brambles and branches that formed the protective barrier to the ShadowClan camp. Birdpaw scaled the walls of the hollow and stopped right at the entrance of the thorn tunnel. Dismay made her want to wail to the sky as she realized she couldn't fit through the hollow while carrying Leafpaw on her back. But I have to get him to the medicine den, Birdpaw thought. The only cats in camp right now were Shiningheart and Dewshine – two elders that she couldn't ask for help from. She'd have to do this herself. Determination hardened her resolve, and she crouched down to let Leafpaw slip off her back. The tom was completely unconscious now, and it was a race against time. Birdpaw sank her teeth into Leafpaw's scruff and dragged him backwards into ShadowClan's camp. The blood from Leafpaw's wound created a trail from the tunnel all the way to the medicine den, where Birdpaw hauled him through.
Once Birdpaw pulled Leafpaw through the bramble tunnel underneath the prickly bush, she found the nest Stormbrook had spoken about. Come on, Leafpaw, Birdpaw thought as she hauled him upwards to drag him towards the nest. Work with me here. As Birdpaw rested the dappled apprentice in his nest, she realized that some of the poultice had come off in her desperate race through the territory, and that allowed blood to seep through. Birdpaw bounded over to the crevice in the bramble wall where the herbs were stored. She sifted through it, feeling for the silk of cobwebs, and when she felt it against her pads, she pulled it out. Bounding over to Leafpaw, she pressed the cobwebs against the open part of the wound and got to work on chewing another goldenrod-horsetail poultice to cover the exposed parts of the gash.
When Leafpaw's wound was completely covered with the poultice, and Birdpaw had discarded the blood-soaked cobwebs, she wondered if she should go back to the battlefield with Stormbrook. But he hadn't given her any orders to come straight back after she had brought Leafpaw to the medicine den. Plus, Leafpaw's condition worried her. Even though he had the poultice necessary to start the healing process, he had lost a lot of blood when Talonpaw had brought him to Stormbrook – and that didn't include the blood he had lost prior to Talonpaw and Birdpaw finding him. The wound was deep, too. What if he doesn't make it? Birdpaw reached out a paw and touched Leafpaw's forehead, her blood running cold as she realized that he was much warmer than he should be. He's running a fever! Oh, no! She ran through the remedies in her mind that Stormbrook had taught her – feverfew, of course! But how could he take it orally if he was unconscious? I'll just have to force him.
Birdpaw headed to the storage of herbs where she fished out the feverfew, and she padded over to Leafpaw's side. Sympathy for the golden-and-brown warrior flooded over her like a wave. She knew how determined he was to protect his Clan, that he wanted to be as great as a warrior like his father, Fallensnow, but what was the point if it got him killed? No. I won't let him die. Birdpaw chewed the feverfew and forced it down Leafpaw's throat, massaging his throat so that he was able to swallow it. Birdpaw sighed as she opened his jaws and saw no trace of the feverfew. He got it down. Now… all I have to do is wait.
The ShadowClan medicine cat apprentice settled next to Leafpaw, the extreme heat radiating off him making her worry more than a motherhen. She knew she wouldn't be able to get any sleep – she had to keep an eye on her patient. If she felt this much anxiety over one cat, how could she treat an entire Clan? Taking a deep breath, Birdpaw brushed her tail down Leafpaw's spine to calm his rather erratic breathing and prayed that the battle with ThunderClan would be over, and that there would be no fatalities.
Is this what my life is going to be like? Birdpaw thought. Joining battle patrols just to see my Clanmates ripped apart for a cause I don't even know is right?