Eddie had marveled at how far she and Barry had come as a couple in the four months since they became official that fateful night. Since she had been with Barry, Eddie wasn't always able to hang with Jamie, Kara, or other cops from the 1-2 after tour as she had plans with Barry. In truth, that was a good thing as she realized she perhaps placed too much emphasis on being a cop. It had become her own little cocoon, however unintentional, and she realized there was life outside of the NYPD.

For his part, Barry never felt out of place with Eddie as a cop. He never felt awkward when they'd have lunch and she was in uniform. His masculinity was never threatened because his girlfriend carried a gun. He always gave her space when she had a particularly hard tour, but wouldn't let her isolate herself, either.

"I'm fine, okay?!" Eddie yelled at Barry after the end of a very hard tour.

"Really?" Barry countered. "You don't look it."

Eddie glared at her beau.

"If you're fine, then why are your eyes puffy and red like you've been crying?" Barry pressed.

"Just go, okay!" Eddie said, pointing to her apartment door.

"No," Barry said resolute.

"God, you are so stubborn, sometimes!"

Barry narrowed his eyes at her. "Are you the pot or the kettle?" He let a smirk escape.

"Oh, you think this is funny?"

"No, none of this is funny!" Barry snapped. "Seeing my girlfriend cry and her not wanting to talk about it is not funny at all! But I'm not going anywhere until you tell me – "

"A kid died in my arms, okay?" Eddie finally admitted. "His drunk uncle was playing with a gun and it went off. Bullet went right into the kid's chest."

Barry stood there, silent and somber.

"I held him in my arms," Eddie said, tears flowing. "Stroking his hair, telling him it was going to be okay even though I knew he was going to die." She wiped away her tears with the back of her wrist. "Happy?"

"No," Barry said. "No, I'm not and I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, whatever," Eddie said, turning to look out her window.

A minute passed by in silence. Eddie chastised herself for yelling and snapping at Barry while Barry chastised himself for pushing too hard.

"I can relate," Barry finally said.

"What?" Eddie said, sniffing.

"I can relate," Barry repeated as he walked closer to Eddie, trying to breach the gap. "Remember how I did a tour of duty in Iraq?"

"Yeah," Eddie confirmed, "but you were Military Police for the base. You didn't really see much action."

"Ah," Barry said with a world-weary half-smile, "but I did see some action, and some was enough… Every so often, I went on patrol with the local division of Iraqi State Police. Kind of like what you and Jamie do in the 1-2. Anyway, we got a call about a domestic disturbance. Long story short, it was a set up. It was an ambush met for me and the Iraqi officer I was with."

Eddie looked at Barry, transfixed.

"We thought we handled the situation," Barry continued, "but this guy held his nephew, no older than six, hostage, gun to the boy's head. The Iraqi officer tried everything, Eddie, everything to get the guy to drop the gun and let the boy go. The guy looked right at me as he pulled the trigger. The officer and I both fired at the guy and he died instantly. I went to the kid…"

Barry started to sniff, emotion overcoming him. Eddie grabbed his hand and caressed him arm. "Hey," she whispered, "it's okay, you don't have talk – "

"No," Barry insisted, "I… I do."

A beat passed and emotions in check, Barry continued. "I saw the kid and could tell the life was fading from his eyes and he just bled out. I held him as he died."

Eddie stared at Barry in wonderment.

"So, yeah," he finished. "I get it."

A beat passed.

"And I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "I shouldn't have pushed you. You just… You were crying and I've never seen you like that, even after some hard days. But I shouldn't have pushed you and I'm really sorry."

Another beat passed, any anger Eddie may have had towards Barry long gone.

"I'm sorry, too," Eddie said. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. You were trying to help and I didn't want it, and that's on me."

They embraced, holding each other tight and swaying from side to side.

Eddie looked right into Barry's eyes, her chin resting on his chest. "I'm so sorry about what happened to you and that boy…" She rubbed comforting circles on the shirt that covered his chest.

"And I'm sorry about what happened to you and that boy today," Barry replied. "I know you know you did everything you could, but it still doesn't seem…"

"Like it was enough," Eddie finished.

"Exactly," Barry said.

A few beats passed.

"If you want me to leave," Barry offered, "I'll go. Really. I get it if you want to be alone."

"Do you think that, maybe," Eddie began cautiously, "you could stay here tonight?"

Realizing how Barry might interpret that, she added quickly, "I don't mean like that…"

"No, I know," Barry assured her.

Tears formed in her eyes as Eddie said something she had only said to one other man three years prior.

"I need you."

"I'm right here," Barry said, wrapping his arms around her, "and I'm not going anywhere."

Eddie sighed, relieved and exhausted at the same time, and sobbed into Barry's chest. Barry rubbed soothing circles onto Eddie's back and gently kissed the top of her head repeatedly.

"I'm not going anywhere."

A/N: Sorry there's only one chapter this week. Work has been all-caps INSANE the last couple weeks, but I promise I'll post at least 2 chapters next week. Peace!