Disclaimer: As we all know, I don't know the rights to Victorious, it's property of Nickelodeon.
Author Notes: As it turns out, I just found out that today is National Bunny Day, which centers on the welfare of rabbits and since it's canon that Jade loves bunnies and doesn't care what anyone thinks, so I just knew I had to come up with something and this is the end result, hope you liked it!
Tori ran up while Jade was typing away at her computer.
"Hey baby!" The Latina said smiling widely "Guess what?"
"Umo ji muna." Said Jade, not bothering to look away from the screen as she kept writing.
Tori blinked by what her wife just said.
"I'm sorry… What in blazes did you just say to me ?" The Latina asked confused. "Whatever it was, I don't like the sound of that."
"Relax, I just said that I love you in Huttese, Vega." Jade replied back. "You told me to guess, I didn't feel like it so instead I decided to keep you guessing."
"Ok first of all, that's cleverly mischievous." Tori said. "Second of all, since when do you know Huttese? I mean Star Wars Day already came and went so you kinda missed the opportunity to use that line on me and third of all… What the Hell Jade?!"
The former Goth smirked evilly, glad she could still get under her wife's skin even after so many years together.
"First of all Vega, I don't know Huttese." Jade replied firmly. "I only know how to say I love you in that fictional language, I also know how to say I love you in Spanish… Te Amo… In German… Ich liebe dich… In Turkish… Seni seviyorum… Basically I learned how to say I love in ten different languages, Vega."
The Latina raised an eyebrow at this random piece of information as she didn't even know why her spouse did this or what to make of it.
"Uh… Ok… What's the question I'm looking for…." Tori pretended to think… "oh yeah… Why?"
"Because Vega, we both know I love you and if you ever get bored of me saying that in English, I just got creative and decided to learn how to declare my undying love for you in other languages." The Thespian replied bluntly.
"Aww… Jade!" Tori gushed. "That's so romantic… You kinda beat me to the punch just now."
"I'm sorry… What?" Jade turned to face her wife in confusion. "Dare I ask what you're talking about, Vega?"
Without saying anything else Tori simply extracted what looked like two tickets and held them up proudly, after all actions spoke louder than words. "I got these free tickets from work today, they're for this new bunny ranch, er I mean bunny farm."
For a long while, Jade tilted her head with the most curious expression on her face, as if she was trying to process what her spouse was telling her, almost as if the Latina was ironically speaking in another language like she had done moments earlier.
"Tori, did you mean Bunny Farm or Bunny Ranch?" Jade then asked cautiously.
"Is there a difference?" Tori questioned confused.
Looking slightly amused, The Thespian replied coyly. "Why yes, my Sweet Sally Peaches. The bunny farm, as the name implies is a farm, with a barn and obviously lots of little bunnies with big ears. While the bunny ranch on the other hand, is a legal licensed brothel in the state of Nevada."
Almost instantaneously Tori's eyes narrowed with suspicion. " HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT?!"
"That the bunny farm has a barn. It's a farm, they usually have barns, their red and….."
"About the brothel JADE!" Tori exclaimed angrily.
"Is this a trick question?"
"NO!" Tori barked, looking just a bit angry and ready to tear someone's head off, which Jade found a huge turn on.
The former Goth was tempted to continue to tease her wife to make her even angrier, but that might mean no sex tonight and. Any even be banished to the couch for the foreseeable future so she decided to just be honest and keep the teasing to a minimum.
"When I was guest starring on that Vegas TV show, last year, there was crap load of brochures in the lobby of the hotel I was staying at. I heard there was a tour where they'd show you all the places the Mafia guys hung out. I was looking a brochure and the one for the bunny ranch was right next to the mafia tour one. I had no idea what a bunny ranch was, so I looked it up. Then I put the brochure down, took the one for the mafia tour and went back to my hotel room." Jade explained bluntly. "And for the record, at no point while I was looking at the Bunny Ranch brochure, was I naked or touching myself. Are you happy now? Or am I sleeping on the couch tonight?"
After a brief pout, Tori kissed Jade on the cheek. "Yes, I'm happy now, and to answer the other questions running through your dirty mind. Yes, we're still having sex tonight and yes, we're going to cuddle afterward."
Jade quickly smiled. "Good to know." Then her smile melted away. "Now this place you're mentioning, there will be children there? Those little monsters are like kryptonite to me."
An annoyed look appeared on Tori's face, "I thought we discussed us…."
"Other peoples, children. I can't yell at them, I can't take their crap away from them, nor can I slap them upside the head, when they mouth off. Yes, we will have children when the day comes, but our children, I can deal with. It's all the other little monsters in human form I hate." Jade finally ranted. "Little demons."
Tori put a reassuring hand on Jade's shoulder, which had the quick effect of calming the Goth down.
"Don't worry, I'll keep you far away from the children." Tori promised. "Mostly to make sure you don't scare them for like, last thing we need is a possible lawsuit."
"Ok, just don't let any with black fingernails touch you or you'll burn to death." Jade said as an afterthought.
"WHAT?!" Gasped Tori, with a horrified expression.
"OH!" Jade noted with a mixture of realization and excitement. "I never showed you that movie. It's from 1980 and called The Children. A bus full of kids drives through a cloud of toxic gas causing them to turn into murderous zombies that kill anyone they touch. Severely underrated film. Just remember, with these zombies, you have to chop off their hands, to kill them. Just…Just in case."
Soberly, Tori nodded her head. "Noted. Can we get back to the subject of the bunny farm."
"By all means, Vega."
After looking at the clock on the wall, Tori turned back to Jade. "If you're done with all the scariness, it's just after 10 A.M. So we can get ready and hit the road by 11:30. We can even grab some lunch on the way to the farm. It's about an hour's drive. Come on, it will be fun. We can see lots of bunnies. I'll know for a fact that Jade West, the Dark queen of my heart, loves bunnies."
"I love bunnies and I don't care who knows it." Jade noted with a noncommittal shrug. "But not as much as I love you Vega."
"Aww… Jade." Tori gushed yet again, with her next reaction was to let out a seductive purr. "If we get in the shower, right now. We'll have time to properly CLEAN each other."
Jade couldn't hit save and shut the computer off, fast enough.
After some shower play, the married couple got dressed as quick as they could and hit the road. They stopped at a roadside diner for some light lunch. The conversation was playful, with Tori being able to tell that Jade wasn't overly enthusiastic about this trip (mainly because of the possibility of being annoying by any kid they may cross paths with). Tori however, thought it would be a fun diversion, as they had both been working a lot lately and needed a break.
Just after 1 o'clock, they arrived at the Bunny farm.
It was larger than an actual farmland as it held a house and a barn, but here also several other buildings, what looked to be some rides. In fact, it looked a bit like a county fair. The parking lot was pretty full so they could see there would be a pretty good crowd.
Tori got out of the car and as she was going to walk towards the front gate, she noticed Jade standing next to the car, starring at a large statue that sat next to the entrance to the parking lot.
It was that of a large rabbit, about fifteen feet tall, holding a sign saying, Held's bunny farm. Below that listed the hours of operation.
Jade however, just stared at the statue as if in a trance.
Walking around the car, Tori put her hand on Jade's shoulder. "It's a statue of a rabbit in case you didn't know what it was. The main gate is the other way."
Jade suddenly turned towards Tori, a wild eyed expression on her face.
"This is Held's bunny farm."
"I know, Jade."
Jade then grabbed Tori and started to shake her uncontrollably. "This is HELD'S BUNNY FARM!"
"You already said that." Tori said, feeling just a bit concerned.
Jade then started to jump excitedly like a small child shouted, "THIS IS HELD'S BUNNY FARM!"
"Are you ok, Jade?"
"No, I mean yes." Jade ranted with a look of almost maniacal excitement in her eyes. "I had totally blocked this out. When I was a little girl I would come to visit this place with my grandma, we'd pass by the place and every time I'd want to go and see it, she came with me because my parents were such jerks, every time I wanted them to take me here they said no and I'd get upset, throw a tantrum and they'd ground me to my room."
Jade then started to jump up and down. "Are we going to actually go and I'm not going to get grounded to my room."
Rather amused by Jade's childish excitement, Tori grinned. "Yes, we are. And I'll even buy you a balloon shaped bunny."
Jade then advanced menacingly at Tori and growled. "You are so getting some tonight! And don't make any plans for tomorrow. Cause you're spending it handcuffed to a bed."
"Oh lucky me." Tori chuckled. "We're gonna be doing it like jackrabbits tomorrow, kinda fitting now that I think about it."
Looking excited Jade took her wife by the wrist. Then they walked hand in hand to the front gate, where Tori showed their passes and they were let in.
"Jade, what do you want to do first?" The tanned woman asked with a knowing smile.
The Thespian happily pointed to a large Red Barn, with a sign, that said "Petting Zoo" in big bold letters.
"Is that a trick question Vega?" Jade said "I want to see the bunnies."
"Sure thing, baby."
Once they entered the barn, they could see there was a number of bunny fences around the inside. They seemed to be grouped by breed and with each fence, there was a sign that gave information about the rabbit species .
Feeling her arm jerked, Tori looked to see that Jade was already yanking her towards the first fence. It was a large one with three huge rabbits and a sign that said, American Cottontail.
"They're adorable, Vega!" Jade gushed. "Quick! Take a picture of me with them!"
Tori chucked as the next thing she knew she had taken a photo with her phone of her wife being overrun by bunnies and laughing in a care free way.
"My childhood dream come true!" Jade said happily. "I got myself an army of bunnies!"
Tori joined in the fun as she held a bunny in her arms.
"Hey Jade! Look over there!" The Latina pointed at a certain direction.
The Thespian looked at the direction where she wife was directing her finger and saw two bunnies, a brown one and a black one in the corner of the fence eating carrots and cuddling.
"Do they remind you of anyone, baby?" Tori asked coyly.
"So there bunny versions of us now?" Jade asked incredulously. "Sure… Why not? At this point that might as well happen."
"Wanna take a picture with them, Jade?"
"Is the sky blue, Vega?"
For the next hour, they moved from fence to fence, looking at all the types of rabbits. Jade read each sign with great enthusiasm and with each successive enclosure, she seemed to grow even more excited. Something which Tori found, endearing, humorous and somewhat odd as every time they made it to a different exhibit, Jade would talk to the rabbits and make all kind of cute noises, when she'd see each one.
"I'm glad, I'm recording this." Tori thought with a smile. "It's not every day I get to see my wife with such childhood wonder."
Upon reaching the Flemish Giant Rabbit, where there were two rabbits, that looked like small dogs resided, Tori giggled and quipped without thinking.
"Man, those two would make a lot of yummy Hasenpfeffer."
Jade made a horrified gasp as she covered up the rabbits ears with her hands and gave her spouse the most evil glare she could muster . "Vega! What is wrong with you?! Don't ever say that in front of me or these bunnies ever again!"
"Ok, sorry!" The Latina apologized. "I was only kidding!"
"I fail to see the humor in your joke, Vega." The Thespian said coldly, she then spotted a super fluffy rabbit in the next cage and squealed, "Ooohhh, A Turkish angora."
As the trip through the barn went on, Tori couldn't help but notice that Jade seemed to be, becoming more childlike. It was like the bunnies were the greatest thing ever and the Latina kept having to tell her spouse to not put her fingers in the cages of the less friendly rabbits. There were a large number of signs that said clear as day that some of the animals would bite and not to put fingers inside the cages. But Jade either ignored or pretended that couldn't read the signs.
"I choose not to understand these signs." The Thespian said every time Tori told her to keep her hands away from the cages.
Of course one rabbit ended up biting Jade on the finger and while Tori was taken aback, the former Goth meanwhile simply took the bite with humor "Look Vega! The bunny thought my finger was a carrot!"
"I sure hope that Rabbit had its shots, Jade!"
"Don't worry Vega, bunny farms have great medical treatments." She replied, while looking at her bitten finger. "Ooh, just imagine if now I became a bunny vampire!"
"Ok, that's it!" Tori grabbed the older woman by the hands and glared at her "Who are you and what have you done with my Jade?!"
"What are you talking about Vega?" Jade asked confused. "I'm here… I'm your wife."
"Are you?" Tori asked suspiciously. "Because right now I'm thinking the woman I love was either infected by a Cat, Brain parasite that slowly took over her mind or this is a nightmare because no way in Hell that the Jade I know would go around making a big spectacle of herself all day long! As much as I love seeing my wife happy, I know for a fact that she has never been so openly overflowing with joyful enthusiasm, she finds it sickening, she would rather show happiness in little pieces, so I can't help but wonder… Jade… if you're really you… What is going on here?"
The Thespian rubbed her left hand nervously.
"Ok, Vega, before I say anything, can you promise me that what I tell you today, it won't be heard by anyone else?" Jade asked seriously.
"Baby, you know that I have never broken a promise to you in all the years we known each other." Tori replied with a caring tone. "Talk to me."
"Ok… Vega… Tori…" Jade said before she took a deep breath. "Remember when I told you that I used to come to this bunny farm with my grandma?"
"Yeah? What about it?" Tori asked curiously.
"Well… This is the last place we came together before she… Passed away." Jade said with sorrow in her voice.
This made her wife gasp in surprise.
"Oh… Jade… I'm sorry." The Latina said emotionally.
"This bunny farm just holds so many memories for me because I love coming here with my grandma and I don't know… Being here just made me feel like a little kid again and even though some things have changed, others have remained the same, for example that tree over there? I used to sit under it and count all the bunnies with her and we made a game out of it, on who could count more bunnies the faster and she always let me win."
"That sounds nice." Tori said with a sad smile.
"My grandma knew I loved bunnies and I her last gift to me before she died was a bunny toy that eventually my dad threw out because I was getting to old to have a doll, never forgave him for getting rid of one of the few things, I had that had any sentimental value to me, especially since it was something from my grandma.
Tori frowned at the callousness of her father in law.
"So… Vega… Being here reminds me of my grandma and one of the few times I was happy when I was a little kid." Jade explained. "So now you know why I was acting like well… Cat. "
Soon enough her breath was taken out of her lungs as Tori had her in a powerful bear hug.
"I'm sorry for acting so insensitive." Tori said. "You should remember the good times with your grandma's and if this place brings you closer to her then you definitely have to look at every inch of the bunny farm."
"Thank you for bringing me here Tori." Jade said, washing away a tear from her eye. "It was a blast from the past."
"The day's not over Jade." Her wife commented with a pensive look on her face. "We can still see all the other bunnies."
"You mean it?" The Former Goth asked hopefully.
"Yeah." Tori nodded. "You know what? Just go in ahead, I just gotta do something real quick."
Jade gave her a soft kiss on the lips.
"Don't be long, Vega." She said before she made her way to the next bunny exhibit.
Tori on her part saw some carnival games and more importantly a prize she had her eye on.
"I'm so getting that!" She muttered to herself with sheer determination.
"Getting what, Vega?"
Tori jumped in surprise "Jade?! Where did you come from? Didn't you went to see more bunnies?"
"You'd think so but no." The Thespian said with a smirk. "I'll admit that was the original plan but the moment I noticed your thinking face, I knew you had something brewing in that head of yours."
"I have a thinking face?" Tori asked, surprised.
"You sure do Vega." Jade confirmed with a nod. "Granted, it's not as pretty as your bedroom face but still nice to look at because that means you're up to something.. So spill… What are you up to?"
Tori didn't need to say a word as her wife noticed the direction she was looking at, noticing the game, Jade then put two and two together and raised an eyebrow at the Latina, a smirk slowly gracing at her lips. "You think you can beat that game Vega? It looks pretty rigged to me."
"Challenge accepted!" Tori laughed, her competitive spirit ignited. She dug into her pocket, pulling out a few crumpled bills. With a determined glint in her eye, she approached the booth.
The game was simple enough but that didn't make it any less tricky, all Tori had todo was to throw a ring over a series of bottles, and if she landed one, then victory would be hers along with a prize.
The carny guy behind the booth grinned evilly, clearly used to watching hopeful contestants fail time and again. Tori took a deep breath, focusing on the stack of bottles glistening under the lights.
With Jade watching, arms crossed and a bemused expression on her face, her dorky wife threw the first ring. It bounced off the edge of a bottle and fell to the ground. A slight frown crossed Tori's face, but she quickly shook it off.
"Come on, Vega! You can do this!" The former Goth said with her upmost encouragement, her tone teasing yet supportive. "I didn't marry a quitter."
"Of course you didn't!" Tori snapped. "You married a dork."
"That I did." Jade agreed. "A better title than the Hambone Queen."
"Hey!"
"Keep your eyes on the bottles, Vega." Jade instructed "Otherwise your chances of claiming Victoria will be slim to none."
"Clever way to use my name Jade." Tori chuckled.
"I blame you Vega." Jade grouched "Your dorkiness is contagious."
With each throw, the Latina's confidence grew, and so did the crowd of onlookers, intrigued by the sight before them, Jade being the protective (if slightly jealous) spouse she was made sure that no one dared to look at her wife with lustful eyes, one glare was enough to scare both men and women away from the woman she loved.
Finally after twenty or so tries, with a flick of her wrist, Tori sent the ring soaring through the air. It landed perfectly around one of the bottles with a satisfying clink.
"YES! I got one!" The Brunette exclaimed, pumping her fist in the air. The crowd of onlookers clapped, but Tori paid them no mind for her the only one's whose praise really mattered was Jade's and seeing her wife's small but noticeable smile made it all worth the effort.
The carny handed Tori a small stuffed bear, but she shook her head, pointing at the bunny. "I want that bunny!"
With a shrug, the carny retrieved the plush from the shelf and handed it over. Tori's face lit up with triumph as she clutched the bunny doll to her chest, turning to Jade with sparkling eyes.
"Looky here!" Tori beamed. "Now you got something else to squeeze besides your lovely wife!"
Jade couldn't contain her laughter, shaking her head afterwards. "I never doubted for a minute that you would win me something, Vega."
"Now you can have a bunny plushie that will never be thrown away." Tori said firmly.
"I should have known that there was a reason as to why you were hellbent on getting me this thing." The Thespian said with an expression of fake annoyance. "You have too big a heart you know that, Vega?"
"Are you complaining?" Tori teased.
"Nope, just felt like pointing it out." Jade said. "Anyone else would have told me to let it go but not you, you're the only one that knows the significance of sentimental value, Vega."
Jade then hugged the bunny plushie.
"A toy bunny from my wife." She teased "It adds to all the bunnies we seen today."
"You're not wrong, baby." Tori said lovingly. "Happy Bunny Day, Jade!"
The former Goth blinked twice as if trying to grasp what she just heard.
"Wait a minute, back it up, Vega." Jade said perplexed. "There's a whole day dedicated to bunnies?"
"Yup." Tori nodded. "I thought you knew since you love bunnies so much, West."
The pale woman took her phone out and made a quick search only to see that what her wife told her was true.
"Well, I'll be damned." Jade whistled "I take it that's why you brought me here today?"
The Latina nodded eagerly.
"Vega… Te Amo y mucho."
"Aw… Jade!" Tori gushed. "I love you a lot, too!"
Then they finished their day with a loving kiss.
"Best Bunny Day Ever!" They thought happily "We are so coming back next year!"
And thus a yearly tradition is born!
I wanna thank Quitting Time for all the help with this idea.
Also despite being National Bunny day, I dedicate this chapter to my late grandmother because the scene in which Jade fondly remembered her grandma was inspired by how I remember my own grandma who I miss very much.
I'm aware that Jade may have acted a bit OOC and more as if this is typical Cat behavior which I had Tori commented with the "Cat Brain Parasite" jab, the reason is that it's so rare for Jade to actually show childhood happiness that it caught Tori off guard.
Anyway, I know that Jade and Tori already have a pet rabbit named Houdini, so in order for this to make sense, I'm just gonna have this chapter taking place before Tori gave Jade the rabbit, serving as an inspiration for what to gift her wife on the Valentine's Day chapter.
Finally, Tori's "joke" on Hasenpfeffer is that it's a stew made from marinated rabbit, which of course Jade didn't find funny.
Anyway as always constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.
Invader Johnny Signing Off.