The moment you've all been waiting for...

Chapter 19: Been losing you one day at a time

Hinata was standing outside the Hokage Tower, fidgeting so badly she'd nearly cut through her skin with her nails. The temptation to turn and run thrummed in the back of her head, but she refused to succumb to old habits.

She jumped a little when she heard Naruto's voice, inviting Shikamaru for ramen as they both exited the Hokage Tower.

Shikamaru caught her eye and gave her a languid smirk in greeting. "Seems like you might have plans," he said to Naruto.

Naruto's head whirled around, a grin lighting his face when his eyes landed on her. "Hinata-chan!" he cried. "Will you get ramen with us?"

Hinata smiled weakly. "Um…" She glanced at Shikamaru and winced internally when she saw him raise his brows in interest.

Shikamaru threw them both a lazy wave. "I'll leave you two to it. See you tomorrow, Naruto. Good night, Hinata-chan," he said as he walked off.

"They have booths at Ichiraku's now, ya know! We could all go together!" Naruto yelled after the other shinobi who just ignored him. Naruto huffed, crossing his arms and pouting.

"Naruto-kun?" Hinata called.

"Right! Hinata-chan, I wasn't expecting you! I'm glad to see you though, let's grab dinner. We had a meeting with the Konoha Go-Ikenban today and it drained all my energy. I'm going to need at least five bowls to make up for it!" Naruto babbled.

Hinata hedged a little. "Would it be alright…if we took a walk?"

"Huh?" Naruto looked at her, face taking on a more serious expression. "Yeah, of course. Let's go."

They walked in an uncharacteristic silence. Hinata felt her nerves ratchet up, aware of the glances Naruto was sending her out of the corner of his eyes. It was when they made it to a bridge that Hinata finally stopped.

The sun was nearly completely gone, but the white snow made the perfect canvas for the last of the orange rays to reflect upon. Naruto's golden hair shone even in that limited light, contrasting handsomely against the deep red of his scarf. He was heartbreakingly beautiful.

Hinata felt her eyes well up with tears as she looked at him. She had cried so much in the past few days, it was a wonder that she had any tears left.

"Naruto-kun," she started, voice shaky with emotion, "I…I've been thinking that it might be best if — if we…"

Naruto stepped closer. "Hinata-chan, what is it?" he asked, worried.

Hinata shut her eyes, trying to hold back her tears. "I don't think we should be together anymore!" she blurted out.

It was silent.

Nervously, Hinata opened her eyes. She was met with Naruto's stunned face, eyes wide and mouth open.

"Hinata-chan…what — what do you mean? Why are you saying this?"

Hinata squirmed at the urgency in Naruto's voice. "It's just that I realized I can't…" Her hands dug into the sleeves of her coat as she struggled to put her feelings into words. "I used to think that I'd be happy just being by Naruto-kun's side, but it turns out that…I'm more selfish than I thought."

"I don't understand." The confusion on Naruto's face was starting to turn to hurt. "Do you…do you not love me anymore?"

The pain in his voice made Hinata shudder. She shook her head furiously. "I do love you! I've loved you for more than half my life. I think I'll always love you."

"Then why?"

"B-Because it's not enough!" Hinata cried, tears starting to spill out of her eyes. "It's not…I'm too selfish. Because Naruto-kun's dream is to be the Hokage and I'll always come second. And it's not wrong! I understand that the village comes first. But it hurts…Being Hokage takes up so much space in your life that it feels like there's no room for…me."

"That's not — Hinata you're important to me! I'm sorry if I made you feel like you aren't, but you are!" Naruto pulled her hands into his. "I can — I can leave earlier! And take more days off! And —"

Hinata smiled forlornly. "You can't. It's not who you are. There's so much that needs to be done and you throw your entire self into everything you set your mind to. You don't do anything halfway, Naruto-kun, it's one of the best things about you. You're going to be a wonderful Hokage."

"Hinata-chan…" Naruto was crying now too, tears cascading down his whiskered cheeks.

Hinata stretched up, using the ends of her sleeve to dry his face. "I'm sorry, Naruto-kun. I wish…I wish things were different. I wish I was stronger, a better person."

"Stop." Naruto pulled Hinata's hand away from his face, squeezing it tightly. "You're strong, Hinata. You're the best person I know," he said fiercely. "Don't say things like that about yourself."

Hinata felt a fresh wave of tears gather at the corners of her eyes. "I love you," she whimpered.

Naruto pulled her into his chest with a hand at the back of her head. She could feel him shaking even as he held her so securely in his arms. "I love you too," he said, voice thick with tears.

They stood there holding each other for a long time. Hinata didn't want to let go because she knew when she did it would truly be over. But eventually they had to pull apart, faces red and sticky with salt.

Hinata left first with a soft goodbye, walking away in a daze with Naruto's eyes on her back. Feeling exhausted, she let her feet lead her mindlessly through the village until she found herself at the training grounds. She squatted down by a tree trunk, arms wrapped around her knees, and sobbed.

She was shivering, eyelids sealed shut with frozen tears, when she heard a bark.

"Hinata-chan!"

A warm, wet nose nudged at her cheek. Hinata took in a shuddering breath and lifted her face from the safety of her arms. Kiba and Shino stood in front of her, panting as if they had been running.

Another sob caught in her throat and Akamaru whined at the noise. His searching snout poked at her chin and Hinata couldn't help but let out a wet gasp of a laugh. She loosened her grip on her knees, allowing Akamaru enough room to duck under her arms and burrow into her chest.

There was the sound of rustling fabric and then a heavy body plopped down beside her, uncaring of the snow covered ground. The weight of Kiba's arm around her shoulders was comforting and Hinata let him pull her head to lay in the crook of his neck. Shino's warm hands covered her own and he slowly rubbed life back into her frozen digits. In the protective embrace of her team, Hinata thawed.

When her fingers were no longer numb, Shino spoke. "Come, let's go to Kurenai-sensei's."

Hinata sniffled loudly. "It's late, we shouldn't bother her."

"Sensei won't mind," Kiba said, already pulling her to her feet.

Sasuke pressed his fingers into his temples, very aware of his missing left hand. His closed eyes did little to temper the overstimulation of the loud bar filled with rowdy drunks. His eyes shot open when he felt wetness seeping into his elbow.

Naruto stared blankly at the bottle he had tipped over. "Whoops. 'Nother one!" he called out.

"I think you've had enough, Naruto," Shikamaru said from across the table. He was slumped over, not from drinking too much, but from weariness. Like Sasuke, he had stopped after two glasses.

This was the fifth day in a row that Sasuke had to watch Naruto try to drink himself into oblivion.

"Noooo," Naruto said, drawing out the word. "Need another one and then another one till I forget —" He stopped, face crumpling. Tears gathered in his blue eyes. Sasuke grimaced and shared a commiserating look with Shikamaru. It seemed they'd reached the crying portion of the night.

"Mah, mah," Kakashi drawled, patting Naruto on the back. "Make that two more bottles," he told the bartender, holding up two fingers.

"Girl troubles?" the overly attentive bartender asked as she set down two more bottles of sake. "Must be an idiot to dump Konoha's hero. Trust me, you can do a lot better and you have your pick of the village."

"Shut up."

"Tha's not true!"

"Mind your own business."

All three teenaged boys fired off three different responses at the same time.

At the bartender's ashen face, Sasuke had to shut his eyes forcefully and deactivate his sharingan.

"It's probably best if you don't speak on things you know nothing about," Kakashi said pleasantly enough, though there was something threatening about his close-eyed smile.

"Y-Yes, Hokage-sama," the bartender said and then bowed before scurrying off to the other end of the bar.

Sasuke exhaled slowly through his nose. He was more irritable than usual and felt on edge.

He hadn't seen Hinata in five days.

Not for lack of trying, but she was never alone anymore and it occurred to Sasuke that she might not want to see him.

"You'll look a lot less scary if you grind your teeth down to nubs," Shikamaru drawled without sparing Sasuke a glance.

"Mind your own business," Sasuke snapped, repeating Shikamaru's words to the bartender.

Shikamaru didn't react beyond an unbothered "Whatever" which just annoyed Sasuke more.

It took another few rounds before Naruto was blubbering into his glass and Kakashi was closing out their tab. Now that he was Hokage, Sasuke noticed his former teacher was at least more liberal with his wallet. Of course, most businesses seemed happy to give him generous discounts.

As he had for the past five days, Kakashi made a swift exit leaving a sloshed Naruto to Sasuke and Shikamaru. Not that Shikamaru actually volunteered any help in dragging Naruto home, but, as he'd pointed out the first night, the Nara household was in the same direction. So they made their way down the street, Sasuke with a passed out Naruto on his shoulder and Shikamaru with his hands in his pockets.

Shikamaru did come up to the apartment to wait until Naruto was safely ensconced in his sheets, but Sasuke wasn't willing to give him much credit for that.

Sasuke stared down at his friend who had hopelessly entangled himself in his orange sheets in a matter of seconds. Naruto was mumbling into his pillow. It took a moment for Sasuke to pick out the words.

"She's gone…I can't make her happy. She's gone…and I'm alone again."

Thinking back to the first time he'd dragged Naruto home to Hinata, Sasuke went to the kitchen and got a glass of water before returning.

"'M alone…"

"You're not alone, idiot." Sasuke put the glass on the bedside table, then met up with Shikamaru at the door.

As they climbed down the stairs from Naruto's apartment, Sasuke finally asked the question that had been on his mind since he realized where exactly Hinata's chakra signature was located.

"How is she?"

Shikamaru looked at him from the corner of his eyes. "So that's why you've been moodier than usual," he surmised.

Sasuke glowered in response.

Shikamaru sighed. "She's about as you'd expect."

"What. Does. That. Mean." Sasuke ground out.

"Hinata-chan's my friend. I'm not going to betray her confidence," Shikamaru said peevishly. "But as you know, she hasn't left Kurenai-sensei's apartment at all, so I'm sure you can extrapolate from that."

Sasuke's lips thinned in annoyance, not at all appeased by this.

Shikamaru sighed again, deeper. "Troublesome. Look, Hinata-chan is strong. She'll be fine. Naruto will be too. They just need time. And the support of their friends."

Sasuke's shoulders lowered. As usual, Shikamaru was right. Hinata was strong.

But Sasuke had seen her shaken and in tears, reliving her worst nightmares about her cousin, had seen the crestfallen look on her face when Naruto had cut short a date or missed it entirely. And each time he'd seen her like that, Sasuke had been unable to stand aside and do nothing.

And yet this time, there didn't seem to be any other choice.

Shiakmaru groaned. "You better not start drowning your sorrows too. I'm not lugging you both back."

"You say that as if you've been any help getting Naruto home," Sasuke sniped.

"Didn't realize you wanted help handling Naruto. Guess the past six years were an anomaly," Shikamaru shot back without missing a beat.

"I really hate you," Sasuke muttered under his breath.

"Yeah, I'm real heartbroken about it."

I feel like people have been asking for this since Chapter 1 haha.

The (maybe) end of NaruHina - hope you enjoy it and it makes up for the lack of SasuHina.

Thanks to everyone who continues to read & review!

MVH