Time for a girls night out!
Chapter 22: Pushing our limits, unbuckled for the ride
"Here you ladies go," the waiter said, setting down four glasses of beer.
Hinata's whispered "thank you" got lost in the din of the bar. The glass felt cold against her hand when she held it, condensation settling uncomfortably against her palm.
"Kanpai!"
"Oh! Kanpai," Hinata said, chiming in a little late. She clinked her glass against the other girls'.
While Ino and Sakura took healthy pulls from their glasses, Tenten downed half her beer in one long gulp. Hinata stared, mouth open in awe.
Tenten slammed her drink down on the table. The beer sloshed around, but thankfully remained in the glass. Swiping a hand against the corner of her lips, she grinned. "Drink up, Hinata-chan! We'll have to try hard to keep up. Sakura learned to drink from the greatest and Ino can go all night."
"As if you're not just as bad," Ino said, sticking her tongue out. "But she's right, Hinata. Tonight's about drinking away our sorrows."
Sakura huffed. "And exactly what are you sad about, Ino?"
Ino flipped her hair away from her face. "Well, I'm great, thank you for asking. But not everyone can have a relationship as perfect as mine and Sai's."
"Oh please, it's only perfect because he lets you walk all over him," Sakura said.
Ino shrugged. "I said what I said."
Tenten drained the rest of her glass. "Some of us have bigger problems than boys. Boys are easy. Starting a business is hard."
"No shop talk!" Ino scolded. "I don't want to think about work for at least a few hours."
After watching the back and forth silently, Hinata finally picked up her glass. She drank the entire beer in one long, slow pull. Then she wrinkled her nose belatedly at the taste. Politics and drinking went hand in hand, most Hyuuga council meetings were heavy on the liquor.
"Whoa, Hinata!" Sakura gasped.
"'Atta girl!" Ino crowed. "Let's get another round!"
"Um…can we get umeshu?"
"We need to pace ourselves," Ino said before shouting for another four beers.
As they drank and chatted idly, Hinata was content to mostly observe. It wasn't often that she was able to spend time with the girls. Part of it was their hectic schedules, but part of it was likely Hinata's introverted nature.
She'd never been able to bond much with Ino and Sakura in their academy days, both girls more interested in fighting over Sasuke while Hinata was reluctant to stray from the fringes of the classroom. As they'd matured, both Ino and Sakura made an effort to try to include her, but Hinata struggled not to feel like a third wheel in their friendship.
On the other hand, Tenten was older and, in Hinata's eyes, too cool to entertain a friendship with. However, spending time with her due to their ties to Neji and being paired on missions had fostered an easy rapport. It helped that Tenten, though being able to match the high energy of Ino and Sakura any day, somehow was very good at not overwhelming Hinata.
By their third round the conversation finally turned to where it had inevitably been going.
"So, Hinata, I have to ask…what happened with Naruto?" Ino said, swiftly dodging an elbow from Sakura.
"Um." Hinata gripped her glass between her hands.
"You can tell us, Hinata," Sakura added kindly. "It's not good to bottle these things up. And who better to talk about it with?"
"This is a safe space!" Ino declared loudly.
Catching her eyes, Tenten shot her a small grin. "A little girl talk and female commiseration has been known to help with heartbreak."
"So spill it! What did he do?" Ino asked.
Hinata waved her hands frantically. "Naruto-kun didn't do anything! It's just…we're both very busy. It's difficult to find time to date," she explained. Not the full truth, but a more nicely packaged one.
"Hinata, if Naruto's neglecting you, you just need to knock some sense into him," Sakura advised. "He may be an adult now, but he's still a knucklehead. Drag him out of the office every now and then. Kakashi-sensei won't care, not like he can say anything."
Ino cackled. "Shikamaru would bust an artery if he had to deal with two no-shows. I say do it!"
Brows drawn together, Hinata pursed her lips. "I do want to be more confident and…assertive," she agreed. "But forcing him away from important things to spend time with me? I don't think I can do that. I don't think I want to do that."
No matter how hard she tried to change herself, Hinata couldn't see herself becoming the kind of person to walk in and take what she wants. She could admire it in others, but it was a mold she would never fit. And trying to be that way…
"It would be exhausting," Hinata admitted.
"Yeah, not everyone is as aggressive as you, Sakura. Besides, there's no charm in having to demand things like that. It's like those husbands who have to be told to buy their wives flowers on their birthday. Like it wouldn't have occurred to them otherwise," Ino said with an exaggerated grimace. "You shouldn't have to remind someone to care."
Hinata bit her lip, Ino's words striking a chord. She felt a hand on her arm and looked up to see Tenten giving her a reassuring smile.
Drawing her hand back, Tenten turned to Ino. "That's not entirely fair. It's not necessarily that they don't care. Sometimes they just don't know how to show it. Or they show it in different ways than you expect. In that case, it's just a matter of talking it through and figuring out something that works for both of you."
Hinata blinked, her inebriated brain processing Tenten's advice.
Sakura and Ino both "oohed".
"Spoken like an experienced dater," Sakura said, giggling.
"Yeah us novices can't relate," Ino added. She took another large sip of beer and pushed her blonde hair away from her flushed face.
Sakura sighed despondently, resting her chin in her hands, palms covering her cheeks. "Everyone else here has at least some experience," she complained.
Patting Sakura on the back, Ino raised her hand. "A round of umeshu please!"
"Sasuke-kun won't talk to me," Sakura said. "Well, he'll yell at me. But he won't have a conversation about anything personal with me," she corrected.
"Well this is Sasuke we're talking about. I don't think he's much of a talker," Tenten said.
"He has his moments!" Sakura said defensively. "Besides, he seems to have gotten more…open since he's been back. At least with Kakashi-sensei and Naruto."
"I guess he's not an emotionally stunted pre-teen anymore," Tenten conceded.
Ino snorted, earning a glare from Sakura. The waiter interrupted with four glasses of umeshu.
Hinata accepted the glass gratefully. It was strange to hear about Sasuke from Sakura, but it made her curious. Sakura had known him for longer and certainly knew him better. She was likely privy to a side of Sasuke that Hinata had never witnessed. A younger, more troubled version.
Hinata wondered if Sasuke had been more open from inexperience or if the freshness of his tragedy had made him too closed off at that age. The Sasuke she knew now was an enigma of sarcastic humour, teasing smirks, aching vulnerability and thoughtfulness hidden behind an impassive face and a prickly outer shell. It had become clear to Hinata that despite appearances, Sasuke had a depth of emotion inside him that he didn't always know how to express. Hinata could relate to that, though while Sasuke came across as aloof, she leaned towards awkward.
"I've just loved him for so long," Sakura said morosely. "And I haven't been able to tell him properly. It's like…the timing never works out."
Lowering her eyes, Hinata watched as the liquid in her glass rippled from the movement around them in the bustling bar. In the surface of the peach coloured drink Hinata saw orange hair, ringed eyes and black piercings. Naruto's bruised face, the taste of her own blood. The delirium she felt upon waking, the world continuing to spin like she hadn't spilled out a truth she'd been nurturing for ten years. Stepping back into the frontlines, the reality that she could die without ever hearing a response from the boy fighting right next to her, without receiving the barest hint of acknowledgment.
"Now the war is over, but Sasuke-kun's still managing to avoid me within the same village. I just want to be able to say it and have him hear me, really hear me," Sakura said.
Hinata's heart ached for her, remembering Sakura's avid support when she was struggling with her second confession.
"You can do it, Sakura-san!" Hinata blurted out. When all eyes turned to her, she blushed, but continued speaking. "You're strong and determined. You'll find a way to tell him."
Misty green eyes met Hinata's as Sakura offered her a smile.
"Hinata's right!" Ino said, slamming her hand down on the table. "You're the most persistent person I know. Channel some of that hotheaded energy you show Naruto and Sai and make him listen!"
"Ino!" Sakura groused, crossing her arms.
Ino snapped her fingers. "Yeah, exactly like that! Just towards Sasuke."
Hinata and Tenten exchanged an amused look while they sipped on their umeshu.
"Oh, I've been meaning to ask! Hinata, I hear you've been spending time with Sasuke. How'd that happen? I don't think I ever saw you two even say hello before," Ino said, head cocked with interest.
Hinata blinked in surprise. "Um. Yes, I suppose we have. Sasuke-kun would, um, visit Naruto-kun…so we saw each other that way." She took another long sip from her drink, more to give herself time to think than out of thirst. "Our clans have some history, so we realized we have some things in common. He's become a…good friend," she explained hesitantly.
Squirming in her seat, she chanced a glance up to see all three girls staring at her with various expressions.
Tenten appeared neutral to this information. She hadn't been at the academy with them, so didn't quite understand how unlikely the friendship between Hinata and Sasuke might seem other than Sasuke's general unapproachable nature.
Ino had a hungry gleam in her eye, always eager to unearth any piece of gossip. Sakura's face seemed to be a mixture of curiosity and something else Hinata couldn't quite read.
"Well, it's Hinata. She could probably get along with anyone," Tenten said with a light shrug.
"What do you guys even do together?" Ino asked. "I just can't picture it."
Hinata played with the edges of her sleeve. "We, um, train. And…" It didn't feel right, talking about their makeshift tea ceremonies or the stories they shared with each other. "We mostly train."
Ino groaned. "Boring! I hope you're not letting him push you around."
Sakura scoffed. "What, like you do?"
"Excuse me! I don't push Hinata around," Ino said, offended.
Hinata's wide eyes bounced between them. "Um…"
Sakura raised an eyebrow. "The umeshu?"
"It's too strong for a second round! And we're having it now, so what's your point?"
"I really don't —" Hinata tried.
"Naruto's birthday?" Sakura countered. "You totally took over and invited way too many people."
"He's the village hero! A lot of people wanted to celebrate with him!"
"Okay, cut it out you two!" Tenten interjected. "I can't tell if you've had too much to drink or too little."
Sakura and Ino looked at each other and then at Tenten. "Too little!" they said simultaneously.
The girls had one more round before leaving, crowding onto the snowy street.
"We should go dancing!" Ino said, looping her arm through Sakura's.
Sakura grinned. "Ooh, yes! We should!"
"I'm in," Tenten agreed easily, falling into step with them.
Hinata stalled outside the bar. "Um…"
Tenten glanced back. "You're not coming, Hinata-chan?"
Sakura gasped. "What?! No, you have to! You love dancing!"
Hinata gave a conciliatory smile. "I have plans tomorrow morning, so I shouldn't stay out too late."
Ino booed, slipping slightly on the icy sidewalk as she turned to face Hinata while still walking backwards. "No fun! It won't be the same without you!"
"Ino!" Sakura shouted. Their arms were still linked and the pink haired kunoichi nearly fell when Ino had spun around suddenly.
Hinata laughed lightly. "Please go ahead! I'll join next time."
"We'll hold you to it!"
Hinata continued to wave until they turned the corner.
It was prime time for night life and the bars and restaurants that lined the street were filled to the brim while the streets were empty due to the cold weather. Hinata stood alone under a street light, hands tucked into her pockets.
Without the exuberant company, Hinata's head felt heavier and her steps more unsteady. She walked sluggishly for a few minutes, stopping when she reached a chainlink fence. The playground beyond the fence caught Hinata's attention, the swings swaying with the wind.
Feet seeming to move on their own, Hinata made her way to the swing set. Brushing off the snow piled on the seat, she sat down and breathed in the crisp air in an attempt to clear her muddled mind. Despite the cool temperature, her body felt warm from the alcohol. Her eyes fell shut.
Uninvited, a flash of blond passed behind her closed lids. A dejected boy watching the other kids, being watched by a feeble girl, neither of them able to close the distance.
The last time she'd been in a playground, she'd been running away from Naruto after another failed attempt at a confession.
"Walk Hinata home? Why?"
He'd been too preoccupied with his fans and unable to grasp what was so evident to all of their friends, she'd been too weak-willed to tell him what was on her mind.
"It's just a matter of talking it through and figuring out something that works for both of you."
Tenten made it sound easy. A perfectly reasonable course of action. But Hinata had never learned how to ask for what she wanted. And most of the time Naruto seemed clueless to anything not explicitly stated. A distance they didn't know how to close.
It had been jarring seeing him again the other day. She'd been so excited to receive the awaited letter from the Fire Daimyo's wife that she'd run straight to the Hokage's office without thinking. Of course Naruto had been there. It was all she could do to keep her eyes trained on Kakashi, trying not to do anything embarrassing in front of him, Sakura, Shikamaru or Sasuke.
Sasuke…
It had been a comfort to have him there, but also somehow stressful. It had hurt to see him so upset. Even after hearing the good news, he had obviously been agitated and at odds with his former team. Then having him come to her defense…and the way he'd pulled her by the hand…
Hinata brought her hands to her cheeks, feeling the heat under her palms.
It was silly. Kiba had once tackled her into a hug in front of her father, but for some reason Sasuke holding her hand in front of a few of their peers had felt so much bolder, had flustered her much more than it had any right to.
He hadn't even been holding her hand, really. It was just a convenient way to get her to come with him.
Hinata shook her head furiously at her thoughts and then immediately regretted it. She whined pitifully, holding her head in her hands.
If it hadn't been for the warm blush on her face, Hinata wouldn't have noticed the press of the cold metal against her forehead amid the already cold weather.
Letting out a startled gasp, Hinata's eyes flew open. She pushed away instinctively and swung back.
"Oh!"
She grabbed hold of the chains on either side of her, the icy metal biting into her skin. The swing pivoted, sending her back forward. Hinata hadn't used much force to begin with, so she landed rather softly face first into black fabric. It smelled of a familiar detergent.
There was a pair of feet bracketing her own outstretched ones with a plastic bag settled to the side. Drawing her gaze upwards, Hinata blinked at the figure towering over her.
"Sasuke-kun!"
Sasuke tilted his head in a silent greeting, making no move to give her space.
Adrenaline and alcohol coursing through her, Hinata clumsily scrambled back and almost tipped over. She caught her balance at the last moment and immediately was swung back into Sasuke.
Hinata shut her eyes in resignation. She gave herself a moment to let the embarrassment subside, then looked up at Sasuke again.
He was still standing there, unmoved. He lifted up his right arm and, eyes crossing, Hinata recognized the object dangling in front of her
Brows drawing together in confusion, Hinata glanced between the can in Sasuke's hand and his face before reaching out tentatively and accepting it. The cold tin against her palms mimicked the earlier feeling against her forehead that had spooked her. She turned it over between her hands, reading the label that proclaimed it to be one hundred percent natural green tea.
"Um…thank you?" She looked back up at Sasuke questioningly.
"The caffeine should help," Sasuke said.
"Oh. Right." Hinata tried to open the can and realized that, without her noticing, her fingers had stiffened in the cold.
The can was lifted out of her hands, the top snapped open, and then returned.
Hinata bobbed her head in thanks. She drank the tea slowly. Despite the alcohol heavy on her tongue, she could still taste the flavour of the canned tea and tried not to react.
"You don't like it?" Sasuke asked.
Hinata paused mid-gulp, looking over the edge of the can with wide eyes and cheeks swollen with tea. She swallowed loudly. "It's good!" she insisted.
Sasuke didn't laugh, but his eyes shone like he wanted to, flickering distractingly under the streetlight. "I would think you'd like green tea."
"I do!" Hinata said. "It's just that…it doesn't really taste like the real thing? There's something artificial about it when it's canned," she admitted. "I prefer canned coffee."
Sasuke nodded seriously. "Okay."
"It's not bad though," Hinata said. She took another big gulp as if to prove her words.
"Slow down or you'll hurt yourself," Sasuke said.
Hinata dutifully took a smaller sip.
"It's not good to drink alone," Sasuke remarked.
It took Hinata a minute to realize he wasn't talking about the canned tea. "I wasn't. It was a girls' night," Hinata said, slowly. "We were having, um, girl talk."
"Hm."
Hinata busied herself with peeling the label on the can with the edge of her fingernail. "They wanted to know what happened with Naruto-kun…"
"…And?"
Surprised, Hinata lifted her gaze up from the can. Digging her toes into the snow, she pushed the swing back and arched her neck to get a better look at Sasuke's face.
She was loose lipped from the alcohol. Or maybe it was Sasuke's open expression as he regarded her. Either way, the words slipped out almost without her permission.
"I used to dream of being by Naruto-kun's side. Naruto-kun inspired me. He changed me…or maybe gave me the strength to change myself." Hinata smiled wryly. "The person I was before I met Naruto-kun would have been content with what we had, but the person I changed into…realizes that I'm allowed to want to be more than content."
Sasuke only hummed. Hinata watched his face for a little longer before turning her attention back to her drink. She took another sip, swishing it around in her mouth where it mixed peculiarly with the alcohol still clinging to her tongue. Sasuke wordlessly took it from her hands and finished it in one go before tossing the empty can into the plastic bag by their feet where it clanged against something else metal.
Hinata gaped up at him. If her face hadn't already been pink from inebriation and cold, she would have blushed. Sharing a canteen on a mission or during training was pragmatic. Hinata had stopped worrying about that when she'd lost count of the number of indirect kisses she'd exchanged with Shino and Kiba. But here, in the comfort of their village on a night of leisure, the press of Sasuke's lips against a surface her own had touched…
Hinata shook her head. Sasuke was obviously unconcerned and the girls would have teased her mericilessly for her childish thoughts. She wasn't sixteen and still dreaming of her first kiss.
Pressing her fingers against her lips, Hinata's thoughts naturally drifted back to the boy she had given her first kiss to.
"Do you think I'm being selfish?" Hinata asked quietly.
"You have an interesting way of using that word," Sasuke said.
Hinata's brows drew together in confusion.
"Hinata, as an expert in selfishness, it's not a word I would use to describe you."
Hinata frowned. "Sasuke-kun isn't selfish," she protested.
Sasuke quirked a brow. "No?"
"No," Hinata said insistently, shaking her head in the negative. "You…you were betrayed by someone who you trusted the most. You dedicated your life to avenging your clan. You gave up your home and your friends and the life you'd known…because you were scared. Of losing everyone you care about again." She looked up at Sasuke with soft eyes. "Maybe you've done some selfish things, but, I think, not more than anyone else."
Tilting his head to the side as he looked at her, the corner of Sasuke's lips twitched. Hinata couldn't tell if it was to frown or smile as they quickly returned to a straight line. Then, he reached out and ran his fingers through her hair before tucking the strands behind her ear.
"Agree to disagree," Sasuke said, hand lingering behind her ear.
Hinata pouted up at him until he dropped his hand to her arm, easily tugging her up to her feet.
"Come on, I'll walk you home."
We're overwriting that sad memory of Hinata's at the swings with a cute SasuHina one!
Thank you as always to my readers ^^
MVH