The moment everyone's been waiting for...
Chapter 30: Breathe into me (make me real)
Hinata poked at her natto, mind stuck on the previous evening. Sasuke's shaken face, his hand so warm around her wrist.
She glanced at the wrist in question. Sasuke's touch was always so hot. She wondered if it was related to his chakra nature.
"Nee-sama, what are you doing today? Hanging out with the Uchiha again?"
Hinata startled. Her chopsticks clattered against the side plate when she dropped them.
"Um…"
Hanabi looked at her with mischievous eyes. "What do you guys do anyway?
"What do you guys even do together? I just can't picture it."
Hinata blinked away the memory of Ino's question. Was a friendship between her and Sasuke really so unexpected?
She hummed in thought, sweeping her eyes around the table filled with an assortment of food. Hanabi had finished most of her breakfast except for the natto. Neji was sipping serenely from his bow of miso soup. Her eyes landed on the pot of tea in the center of the table.
"Did you know…" she started. Hanabi leaned in, elbows on the table. "Our families used to spend time together. We would have tea ceremonies."
"Huh?"
"I think…it would be nice if we were able to do that again," Hinata murmured, almost to herself.
Neji set his soup down on the table. His expressions tended to look so serious, but there was something softer about him on mornings like this, different from the humour and ease he showed around Team Gai.
Meals like this with the three of them hadn't come easily. Hanabi had been so sequestered from Hinata with their rigid training schedules and it had only gotten worse when Hinata's title had been stripped. The rules and expectations of the elders had nearly dimmed her little sister's firecracker personality and the snide whispers that followed Hinata after her defeat had weighed heavily on Hanabi's small shoulders. Hinata's gentle approach after the fact had been met with confusion and then enthusiasm, Hanabi soaking up Hinata's open attention.
Meanwhile Neji's addition had been a slow and halting journey, fraught with hurt and guilt. A fractured relationship that could only be repaired with both of their unyielding efforts, a conscious decision they made together.
"I would not be opposed to inviting the Uchiha, if that's what Hinata-sama wishes," Neji said. His hair was loose around his shoulders, grey eyes faintly lit from the morning sun filtering through the shoji screen.
Hinata's lips parted in surprise and then she beamed.
"Huh? Neji-nii-san, can't you see nee-sama is ignoring my question?" When Neji didn't react to her whining, Hanabi pouted, crossing her arms. "It's not like I care if you bring him here. But if he's teaching you some cool technique, then he better share!"
Hinata giggled at her sister's antics. Meeting Neji's eyes, her smile softened.
All three of them had experienced the loss of a parent. Hinata and Neji especially had spent a long time redefining what family meant to them, fighting for and against each other. This space they'd created for the three of them was all the more precious for it.
Inviting Sasuke into it was not a small thing.
Warmed by Neji and Hanabi's support, Hinata began to eat her natto with more zeal.
"Hi, Shikamaru-kun, is Hokage-sama available?"
Shikamaru waved lazily. "Hinata-chan. Yeah, he's in there. You can go on in."
Even with Shikamaru's blessing, Hinata knocked on the door and waited until Kakashi's voice called her in.
"Hinata-chan, do you have an update for me?"
Hinata nodded. She'd summarized her work onto a scroll and handed it over to the older man along with the copies of the seals he'd given her. "From what I understand, the nae-ROOT seal is very similar to the previous one. It prevents the sealed person from speaking of certain subjects and has a failsafe to prevent it from being tampered with. However, there is a unique addition. This seal is siphoning chakra to some other place. But I can't tell where that chakra is going."
Kakashi hummed thoughtfully as he read over her notes. "And you figured out how to remove it?"
"I think so. The instructions are with my notes."
Kakashi's eyes crinkled as he kept reading. "Yes, they're very thorough."
Hinata played with the sleeves of her coat. "Um, well, I thought Hokage-sama might have more insight, so I included everything…"
"This is good work, Hinata. I don't have anything to add."
Hinata's smile was short-lived.
"Now, let's go unseal our captive nae-ROOT member," Kakashi declared.
Hinata's mouth dropped open, wide eyes following Kakashi as he got to his feet and walked around his desk. "Um…you want me to come and…watch?"
Kakashi leaned down, peering into her face with a close-eyed smile. "You're going to unseal him."
"Eh? Hokage-sama…"
Kakashi was already halfway out the door. "Quickly, Hinata-chan. No time to waste."
Hinata scurried after Kakashi, barely remembering to wave goodbye to Shikamaru in her haste. Her shorter legs struggled to keep up with his long stride as he walked down the corridor and into a stairwell.
"Hokage-sama, I couldn't possibly…I mean I have no experience with a human being…if it's done incorrectly the failsafe could…"
Kakashi led them around and around down the staircase until they reached the basement level, unmoved by Hinata's hushed protests. He came to a sudden halt at a grey door that nearly blended into the wall. Lifting open the cover to a hidden panel, Kakashi pinned in a code into the keypad. It beeped, a small light on the corner of the panel flashing green.
"After you," Kakashi said gallantly.
Hinata's smile was a grimace as she reluctantly went inside.
"Hokage-sama, please —"
"Hinata." Kakashi's voice lost its levity as he shut the door behind them. Hinata immediately clamped her lips together in response. "Common applications of seals are all around us. Most ninja are capable of some level of it. What differentiates a seal master is their study of the craft: the history, the theory, the possibility of innovation. You've clearly put in that effort to understand fūinjutsu and juinjutsu in a way that goes far beyond what is expected."
Hinata pinked at the praise, but her fingers still fumbled nervously with her sleeves. "But I've never…."
Kakashi turned to her, gaze serious but not unkind. "There always has to be a first time. Opportunities don't necessarily come when you feel ready for them. This could be an important step for you, Hinata. Will you take it?"
Hinata uncurled her fingers from her sleeves and looked down at her ink stained hands. She thought of all the books she'd tracked down, all the hours spent reading, all the notepads she'd filled up, all the years she'd spent dreaming of a unified clan. Then she looked up at Kakashi and gave him a determined nod.
"Good. This way."
Hinata swallowed nervously as she eyed the prisoner. The nae-ROOT member was subdued and bound to a chair, mouth stretched open around a metal clamp. Ibiki and Kakashi were standing on either side of the door behind her.
"Hokage-sama…once the seal is removed, the castor will know. Because the chakra siphoning will stop," Hinata said, worried.
"Yes, it can't be helped. It's too dangerous to let them continue taking chakra when we don't know what they're using it for," Kakashi said. "We'll have to give up on having an element of surprise."
Hinata nodded in understanding.
Despite her nerves, her hands worked steadily as she drew kanji onto the chin of the man. The counter seal she was penning would contain the effects of the nae-ROOT seal in case anything went wrong. Once done, Hinata set the brush down and formed the necessary hand signs. The symbols she'd drawn glowed indigo.
Letting out a sigh of relief, Hinata moved onto removing the modified Zekka Konzetsu no In. She ran through the hand signs and then tentatively reached out to take the captive's tongue into her hand.
Eyes closed, she whispered, "Kai."
The seal on the man's tongue glowed indigo, but then suddenly flared bright blue. Hinata gasped feeling foreign chakra pricking at her fingertips.
The Hamura chakra rumbled in her mindscape, iron door vibrating.
Hinata opened her eyes and watched as her counter seal lit up in indigo on the prisoner's skin. The blue chakra around the seal retreated and then the nae-ROOT seal slowly faded away, leaving behind unmarked skin.
Breathing heavily, Hinata immediately released the man's tongue.
"Nice work, Hinata."
Hinata's eyes darted between her own hands and the nae-ROOT member's now bare tongue in wonder. Letting her hands fall to her side, Hinata turned and bowed to Kakashi. "Thank you, Hokage-sama."
Even with the ANBU stationed outside the room, sneaking into Fujiwara's hospital room was easy. Sasuke hesitated by the window before stepping further into the room. When he reached the bedside, he paused and stared.
Unconscious and dressed in a hospital gown, Fujiwara was incredibly small in a way that spoke of a childhood of malnourishment. Someone had clearly washed his face, but his green hair was limp and greasy. His skin was sallow, face gaunt. A frown creased his brow even in his sleep.
So small and so angry at the world.
This scene was familiar somehow. Like an out of body experience.
Sasuke remembered laying in a cot like this in Konoha Hospital recovering from a sound defeat by Itachi. Frustrated by Naruto's growing strength, by Sakura's cloying sweetness, by his own weakness. Smacking the sliced apples out of Sakura's hands, picking a fight with Naruto for no reason other than to release the rage inside him because his one goal in life seemed further away than ever.
And just like that Sasuke finally put the pieces together.
The bad memories Fujiwara brought up were aggravating, but didn't explain the visceral dislike Sasuke felt towards the boy.
No, Sasuke's revulsion stemmed from something else entirely.
Fujiwara's resemblance to Sasuke himself.
Fujiwara Minoru was just another casualty of the cruelty of the world.
Like the villagers who had seen an orphaned boy and decided to use him as a stand-in for something out of his control. Like Kumo who had seen a defenseless young girl and tried to steal her away. Like Danzo who had seen a troubled teen and manipulated him to do his bidding. Like Orochimaru who had seen a desperate kid and taken advantage.
And now here Sasuke was, still feeding into that cycle after promising to do better. Misplacing his self-hatred and allowing it to impact his actions.
Sasuke lifted his right hand up. He'd come so close to killing Fujiwara with this hand.
He clenched his hand into a fist.
Whatever mistreatment Fujiwara had suffered by his family's hands, whatever consequences he had to face for his actions, Sasuke would not add to it nor take pleasure in it.
The door started to open. Sasuke made no move to hide himself.
"Oh! Sasuke-kun, you scared me," Sakura said, clutching her clipboard to her chest. After waving off the ANBU, Sakura made her way to Fujiwara's side. "You shouldn't be here." She didn't look at him when she said it, instead checking on the machines connected to Fujiwara.
"When are they sending him back?" Sasuke asked.
Sakura shot him a sidelong look, perhaps surprised by the lack of open hostility to the boy. "The surgery was successful and he's recovering well. But Hinata bought us some more time with the Daimyo, so..." She trailed off with a too casual shrug.
Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Naruto's up to something, isn't he?"
Sakura rolled her eyes fondly. "Of course, he is. You know him. You really think he'd be okay sending this kid off to a potential execution?"
Frowning, Sasuke looked back at Fujiwara. Fifteen years old. He remembered being fifteen and thinking dying was an acceptable risk as long as he could take Itachi down with him. Now he realized that fifteen years old was much too young an age to die.
Sakura finished writing something down on her clipboard before turning to look at him. "You're not planning on doing anything, are you?" There it was again, that flash of wariness in her eyes.
Sasuke thought about ignoring her, but changed his mind at the last minute. Halfway out the window, he said, "No."
Sasuke had been being truthful with Sakura, but on his way back to his apartment it was Naruto that ambushed him, not the other way around.
"Bastard! Spar with me!"
Sasuke groaned quietly, but let Naruto drag him to Training Ground Three.
Sparring with Naruto was always good for letting out steam, he was one of the few people Sasuke didn't have to hold back against. Today Naruto was really going all out, even more so than when he was trying to send Sasuke to the hospital to force him to talk to Sakura. Naruto almost seemed…angry.
Sasuke narrowed his eyes and then proceeded to give as good as he got.
Eventually they both ended up collapsed onto the ground, too drained to feel anything but tired. Not even the melted snow slowly seeping into Sasuke's cloak could rouse more than a drop of irritation.
"Ne, Sasuke…"
Sasuke grunted, unwilling to turn his head.
"Do you need to tell me something?"
Sasuke looked at Naruto from the corner of his eye. The blond's head was tipped back so that Sasuke could only really see his jaw. "Strange thing to say when you're the one that came looking for me," he remarked.
Naruto was silent for long enough that Sasuke thought the topic had been dropped. Sasuke's eyes slid back to look at the sky above. Some time during their spar clouds had gathered, casting a shadow over the field except for small patches of sun sneaking through.
"Heh. You always gotta make things difficult, bastard."
A frown wrinkled Sasuke's forehead. He summoned enough energy to turn his head towards Naruto. A stray beam of sunlight lit up the edge of the blond's cheek and Sasuke could see the ends of his whiskered marks.
"Actually…" Sasuke started.
Naruto's jaw clenched.
"Fujiwara. Tell me what you've got planned."
Naruto's head jerked around to face Sasuke, expression twisted into bewilderment. "Fujiwara?" A beat later the confusion cleared and instead he looked sheepish. "Ah, you heard about that."
Sasuke shot him a look.
Naruto sat up, leaning back on his arms. "I can't just do nothing. They got Ino to take a look in his head in case we missed anything about the white zetsu and it's a mess in there. He's just a kid. He needs help. The best option he has right now is being thrown into prison for the rest of his life and…what is that going to help?"
"He can't go back to how he was before."
"I know that!" Naruto shouted. Then, quieter, abashed, he repeated, "I know that. After everything…I've learned that much at least."
Sasuke sat up, resting his elbows on his knees. They didn't speak for a while, both lost in their own thoughts. Sasuke's mind kept pulling him back to the image of Fujiwara laying in the hospital bed. He eyed Naruto who was staring forward with a solemn expression.
"…is there anything I can do?"
Sasuke wasn't sure who was more surprised by his words, him or Naruto.
The blond shinobi whirled around, mouth agape. Quickly, his face transformed into a giant grin.
The shoji had been repaired well. While Sasuke examined the spot Hinata had crashed through, the girl in question was almost hiding behind him. Even in her coat she was tiny enough for it to work, but Sasuke found the situation too amusing to let her do it for long.
He walked up to the dojo's front desk, ignoring Hinata squeak behind him. It was the same man as before sitting behind the desk aiming a disgruntled glare at Hinata's now visible form.
Sasuke paid the fee and grabbed a wooden token without waiting for the man to hand it to him. The man's glare was now directed at Sasuke and Hinata's sigh of relief was audible. Uncaring, Sasuke moved to the same room they'd used last time. Meanwhile, Hinata was profusely apologizing as if she hadn't already said sorry the first time.
"…your friend did a decent job fixing it up."
It was said in grudging way, but Hinata's voice brightened regardless when she replied. "I'm glad to hear that Togou-san! Kiba-kun is very handy."
The man harrumphed.
Hinata murmured another apology before joining Sasuke.
Sasuke quirked a brow at her and she made a pained expression.
"He hates me," she whispered, seeming truly distressed by the thought.
Sasuke doubted it. Hinata was near impossible to hate. Instead of voicing this, he just shrugged.
Hinata's lips had formed a small moue as she fidgeted with her sleeves. She almost seemed to be sulking.
The corners of Sasuke's lips twitched. He reached out and ruffled the edges of her bangs, ending with a quick pat on the head that effectively erased the downtrodden expression from Hinata's face.
"Let's get started," he said.
Hinata's nod was hesitant.
Sasuke scanned her face carefully. He suspected something was going on with Hinata's chakra. Perhaps a couple of slip-ups weren't necessarily indicative of a problem, but even in the academy Hinata's chakra control had been impeccable. Considering the extent of her growth in all other areas, it was hard to believe that Hinata was capable of such simple mistakes.
Besides, her expression each time it happened was telling. Startled. Frightened.
If she didn't want to talk about it, Sasuke wouldn't force her. There were other ways to communicate.
They took off their outerwear and faced off in the center of the room. Sasuke barely gave Hinata a moment to breathe.
"Sharingan."
Hinata's lips parted in a soundless gasp, surprised lavender eyes meeting his red and white pair. He usually used his sharingan sparingly when they trained, activating it for brief intervals only during more intense phases. He'd never started off with it before.
But he had a goal today.
He flew at her with a rapid series of kicks and punches, no longer holding back his speed. Hinata stumbled back, taking the brunt of his hits on her forearms as she desperately defended herself. Sasuke swept a leg under her and Hinata turned her trip into a somersault. As she righted herself, she kicked out at him, but he easily dodged.
Yanking her back by her shirt, Sasuke kneed her in the side. Hinata let out a choked gasp before twisting her leg around his to kick at the back of his ankle. He sidestepped, but had to let go of her shirt as a result, freeing her to come at him with kicks and strikes of her own. When he leaned to the side to avoid another strike, Sasuke grabbed her outstretched arm and swung her around to kick her in the stomach. Hinata coughed, but straightened again, her face set in determination.
Sasuke gritted his teeth. He couldn't be brutal with her; he didn't want to be. As much as he'd increased his speed, he was still holding back the full force of his strength, pulling punches so they didn't land too solidly.
He wasn't trying to hurt her. That wasn't the point of a spar, though that certainly hadn't stopped Sasuke before. But not with Hinata.
This was already too much and he was ready to give up on his goal when it happened.
Hinata attacked, her movements predictable through his sharingan. Sasuke quickly turned the tables, throwing an onslaught of kicks and jabs at her. When Hinata threw up her arms to block a kick to the face, her chakra pulsed, indigo flaring around her arms. It was brief, but in that moment Sasuke felt a depth of chakra that far outclassed what he knew of Hinata's normal reserves.
He leapt back, but needn't have bothered. Hinata had jerked back as well, staring at her hands as if they'd betrayed her. She looked up and then cried out, "Sasuke-kun!"
Following her gaze, Sasuke saw the holes burnt into his pants around his ankle. "It would have been better if you'd done this on purpose," he commented.
Hinata's face crumpled. "It happens sometimes…when I'm overwhelmed," she admitted quietly, ashamed. "Meditating helps, but only so much."
"Ōtsutsuki did more than change your chakra," Sasuke realized. He'd known the basics of what had happened on the moon and, even if he hadn't, the colour of Hinata's chakra was a dead give away. But he'd believed that the Ōtsutsuki's influence had been superficial and mostly temporary. What he'd felt just now…
"...I think Hamura gave me his chakra," Hinata said. "At the time, Naruto-kun helped me use it. But since then…I can't control it. I don't know how to…at least not alone."
She was still holding her arms away from her, upset. Unthinkingly, Sasuke stepped closer and took hold of her elbow. He ran his hand down the length of her arm, stopping at her wrist. Hinata tilted her head to look up at him, disheveled bangs falling into her eyes. Sasuke swept his thumb across the inside of her wrist and watched her eyes flutter shut. There was the beginnings of a bruise forming on her cheek and Sasuke found himself wishing he had his other hand so he could touch it without letting go of Hinata's wrist.
"I'm not used to having so much chakra. It was impacting my techniques, so I started suppressing it. And it works, usually," Hinata explained, sounding much calmer now.
"That was stupid." As far as insults go, this was soft for Sasuke. His tone of voice was even softer.
At one time, Sasuke was sure even his mildest insult would have made Hinata curl into herself. Now, the corner of her lips tugged upwards in a weak smile.
"I knew I had to learn how to control it, but…there was never time. Naruto-kun —" Hinata cut herself off, biting her bottom lip. "…I just kept putting it off," she finished.
Sasuke pressed his thumb into her soft skin. If Naruto had been able to help, then maybe all she needed was another person with Ōtsutsuki chakra. Knowing how Indra's chakra felt in him, Sasuke imagined his father's chakra was even more potent, being one generation closer to Kaguya.
Slowly, Sasuke concentrated his chakra down his arm and to his hand. Hinata opened her eyes, looking down at where their skin touched with her thin brows drawn together. Chakra began to creep down Hinata's arm with a faint glow until her indigo mingled with his heliotrope in a steady push and pull. Sasuke pushed more chakra out and was met with an equal countering force.
"It doesn't feel overwhelming," Hinata said, voice filled with wonder.
"Start increasing the amount of chakra in your reserves. Use it, get used to it, and then increase it some more until you're using it all," he instructed.
"…you make it sound simple."
"I'll be there. So, if you feel overwhelmed, just come to me." Sasuke watched Hinata as she watched their interacting chakra.
The indigo chakra gradually receded. Hinata's face looked focused. "Sasuke-kun, could we please try again?"
This time their spar was like a dance. Evenly paced, they met strike for strike and kick for kick, Sasuke ducking and Hinata weaving. Finally sensing Hinata's exhaustion, Sasuke was able to grab hold of her and fling her across the room, expecting that to be end of it.
In a smooth movement, Hinata landed delicately on the shoji. Her chakra was a vivid indigo, distributed to her feet so effectively that she was standing sideways on the screen without causing even the slightest wrinkle. Only the shadow her figure cast against the wall belied her presence.
Sasuke and Hinata stared at each other, both a little shocked.
"How many times do I have to tell you?! No fighting on the damn walls!"
Hand clasped over her mouth, Hinata dissolved into giggles. Sasuke watched her fondly, unable to fight back his own grin. When Hinata recovered from her laughing fit, their eyes met again. The unfettered joy in her lavender eyes had Sasuke staring dumbly for a moment before remembering himself. His face felt hot and he coughed into his fist to hide it.
"We should go," Hinata said, laughter still lingering in her eyes and voice.
Sasuke hummed in agreement. "Tea?"
Hinata bobbed her head excitedly.
After two daifuku, eaten by Hinata alone, and two cups of tea shared between the two of them, Sasuke was putting away the washed dishes while Hinata busied herself at the kitchen table. The stack of fūinjutsu and juinjutsu books Sasuke left out for her were sitting by her elbow and her notepad and pen were laid out as usual.
She'd generally start off in the kitchen, not migrating to the living room couch until Sasuke himself had finished cleaning up and moved to the armchair. This time, however, Sasuke took a seat at the kitchen table as well with a piece of parchment and a pen of his own.
He felt Hinata's gaze on him, but refrained from reacting.
"Um…Sasuke-kun…are you working on something?"
Sasuke made an affirmative sound and waited.
The war of Hinata's curiosity against her politeness raged on beside him.
"Um…if I may ask…what it is that Sasuke-kun is working on? Not that you have to tell me!"
Sasuke bit back a smirk. "You may ask," he said loftily.
"Sasuke-kun!"
Sasuke looked up, finding Hinata pink in the cheeks and pouting across from the tiny kitchen table. He quirked a brow.
"You…" Hinata trailed off, puffing out her cheeks.
"Me?" he asked, teasing leaking into his voice despite his best efforts at maintaining his deadpan.
"Never mind. If Sasuke-kun doesn't want to tell me, that's okay," Hinata said, turning her attention back to her notepad.
It seemed she was trying to tease him back. It was amusing enough to deserve a reward.
"I'm writing a letter to the Fire Daimyo. Naruto thinks he'll listen to me, for whatever reason," he told her.
Hinata gave up all pretense of focusing on anything else. "About Fujiwara-san?" she asked, pronouncing the name cautiously.
Sasuke nodded. "To negotiate him a better sentence."
Hinata was quiet, staring at him with parted lips and a look in her eyes that made Sasuke's skin feel flushed.
"What?" he asked, a little rougher than he intended.
"I just…I think Sasuke-kun is really amazing," Hinata said genuinely. Her eyes were shining and she was smiling brightly at him in a way she hadn't ever before and suddenly Sasuke's chest felt so full.
It wasn't a conscious decision.
One second he was seated, hand gripping his pen. The next second he was leaning forward, hand cupping her cheek and lips sealing hers in a kiss.
His pen clattered against the tabletop.
We finally hit the tipping point!
And I officially hit 100K words in a single fic which is a first for me!
Thanks to everyone who continues to read and leave comments ^^
MVH