Sasuke and Hinata process their kiss in different ways with varying levels of success

Chapter 31: You're writing your tragedy

Hinata was wandering dazedly around the village center.

Sasuke had kissed her!

Heat rushed to her cheeks.

Then he'd backed away, face blank, and told her that he needed to go. Before she could even think to respond, the front door was shutting and she was left alone in his apartment.

Baffled by the encounter, Hinata had let herself out and now didn't know quite what to do with herself.

"Hinata-chan!"

A warm, fur-covered body crashed into Hinata's side. Years of experience kept her on her feet as she gave Akamaru a friendly pat.

"Still acts like such a puppy around you," Kiba complained good-naturedly as he caught up to his ninken.

Akamaru huffed, pressing further into Hinata's side away from Kiba.

"Is something wrong?" Hinata asked.

"He's just sulking. Really, I'm the one who should be pissed!" Kiba said, earning a growl from Akamaru. At Hinata's searching gaze, he expounded. "I was picking up some smoke bombs in town and there was this girl — I'm telling you Hinata, I've never seen anyone like her — so I went to say hi, all smooth-like. But Akamaru freaked out because she smelled like ninneko!"

Hinata blinked. "Oh."

Akamaru whined lowly.

"Hinata-chan, a little more sympathy please! I've found the perfect girl, but we're being torn apart!"

Hinata smiled at Kiba's dramatics. "Sorry, Kiba-kun, Akamaru. I suppose I don't see why it's a problem?"

"It's an opposites attract dilemma! We come from different worlds: Ninken versus ninneko! A tragic love story!" Kiba exclaimed.

Hinata scratched idly behind Akamaru's ear. "Hm...But is it really opposites? Ninken and ninneko, they're different, but that doesn't mean they have to be incompatible. I know sometimes Kiba-kun has trouble when girls don't understand your bond with Akamaru. But if this girl has a ninneko then that would mean she'd understand better than anyone else."

Akamaru perked up.

Kiba raised his brows, surprised. "You know what? You're right." He turned to address his ninken. "Hear that Akamaru? You should listen to Hinata-chan, she's the smart one."

Akamaru yipped as if in agreement, tail wagging.

Hinata shook her head, smile playing at her lips. "That's Shino-kun," she said.

"You know he cheats at board games right?"

"Um…is that related?"

"Can't be that smart, is all I'm saying," Kiba joked.

They walked together for a while, Kiba filling Hinata in on his training for the jounin exams. Unlike Naruto and Sasuke, Kiba would not be taking a private placement examination. He grumbled lightheartedly about special treatment.

Meanwhile, Hinata did her best to stay in the moment instead of letting her mind drag her back to Sasuke's apartment and Sasuke's hand on her cheek and Sasuke's lips —

"Hinata-chan, you okay? You seem kind of out of it. Is this about...you-know-who? Thought you'd been doing better," Kiba said, coming to a stop.

Hinata held her hands up to her flushed cheeks. "It's nothing!" Under Kiba's skeptical gaze, she blurted out, "Ne, Kiba-kun, would you kiss a friend?"

"Eh?!" Kiba looked dumbfounded.

"Um…" Hinata tucked her chin into her coat, wanting to hide away.

"What, like Shino? Didn't think you were into that kind of thing," Kiba said, almost to himself.

Hinata stopped trying to hide in her coat and regarded Kiba with confused eyes. "What kind of thing?"

"Never mind. Most friends don't kiss each other. I mean, I've heard some countries have their own customs though."

"Ah, you're right...most friends don't kiss each other," Hinata agreed weakly.

"I guess if it was for a mission, maybe I would? Like an undercover thing," Kiba babbled, still thinking, "And sometimes people do funny things if they've drank too much, but that's a whole other thing…"

Despite the turmoil of her emotions, Hinata couldn't help but smile at how seriously Kiba was taking her question. He never made her feel bad about even her weirdest moments. Reassured by this, she asked, "Would you mind…holding my hand?"

Kiba didn't even pause in his musings, slipping his hand into hers. "They say that you should date a friend, so if you think about it, maybe most people do kiss their friends." He swung their joined hands back and forth, tugging her forward to continue walking.

The hardened skin of Kiba's palm was warm against hers, but it didn't send the same sparks of heat up Hinata's arm the way Sasuke's had. Perhaps it was his chakra nature after all.

"Is my hand warm?" Hinata wondered aloud, considering her own chakra affinity.

"Not especially," Kiba said simply, before launching back into his monologue.

They walked hand in hand until the edge of the training grounds where Kiba was meeting his mother and sister. Hinata politely declined his invitation to join, noting she'd already trained today and thanking him again for fixing the dojo wall.

Without Kiba's company to distract her, Hinata was back to where she started. Anxiety thrummed at the base of her skull and the only thing keeping her together was how unreal everything felt. Like there was a chance she'd invented the whole thing. She couldn't imagine why her mind would conjure up such a scene, but it made as much sense as it actually having happened.

Hinata retraced her steps back into the village center, still in that dream-like haze without an ultimate destination in mind. Passing by Yamanaka Hana, Hinata slowed as she spied a vaguely familiar face staring through the glass window of the storefront.

Sensing her gaze, the man turned and greeted her with a genial smile. "Hinata-san."

"Genji-san," Hinata returned, finally placing him as one of the hospital staff. "Are you buying flowers?" she inquired politely, "If so, you've made a good choice in Yamanaka Hana."

"Ah, no, I'm not buying flowers," Genji said, scratching the back of his head. "Besides, Mayumi-san is allergic…" It was said under his breath, but Hinata caught the stray comment and it made her smile.

"Oh, you and Mayumi-san must know each other well. Did you meet at the hospital?" Hinata asked.

Genji shook his head. "We went to school together. Mayumi-san was brilliant from the start, top of our class! Meanwhile I was barely scraping by. She was so far ahead, I had no way of catching up."

A school crush. It sounded familiar. Hinata wondered if Genji had watched Mayumi the way she had watched Naruto.

It wasn't a perfect comparison, though. Naruto had hardly been top of their class. That was Sasuke.

"You're forgetting I was top of our class in the academy."

The memory came suddenly, the image Sasuke's smug smirk as he said those words making Hinata's insides flutter. That day seemed so long ago.

Shaking the thoughts away, Hinata looked back at Genji and found him staring ahead again. There was an almost despondent, far away look on his face. It pricked at her memory, a near match to an expression Mayumi had worn the last time Hinata had seen her. Hinata followed Genji's gaze through the window and saw Ino at the counter.

It was surprising. Ino had stopped picking up shifts at her family's shop a while ago, too busy at the Kekkai-Han. Sai was by her side and they were clearly caught up in a romantic moment.

"I have to get going. It was nice to see you, Hinata-san," Genji announced. He had an affable smile on again.

A touch startled by the hasty exit, Hinata murmured out a "You too, Genji-san," and watched as the man walked away. Even if he'd hidden it away, Hinata couldn't forget the expression on his face. She felt sympathetic to his situation, admiring someone out of reach. Strangely, even after she started dating Naruto, Hinata never quite stopped feeling like that. Like it was all a dream too good to be true. Like if she held on too tightly, it would collapse.

Maybe that's why she'd never felt comfortable asking for more. Years spent chasing after someone so much brighter than her, Hinata had known Naruto was meant for greater things earlier than most people. Who was she to hold him back from that? To take up more of his time than he was already granting her?

"If you're so worried about wasting my time, then don't."

Hinata's eyes widened. Again, Sasuke was clouding her mind. Perhaps a result of how often they spent time together. Sasuke had once told Hinata not to waste his time, but, as they frequently were, his words were at odds with his actions.

Spars that benefited her far more than him, the wagashi occupying his cupboards despite his personal distaste, his previously uncluttered living space lined with family scrolls he'd long memorized, his favoured solitude encroached upon.

Sasuke went out of his way to accommodate her all while making sure she never felt like a burden.

Genji had long disappeared into the crowd, but Hinata stayed put, still lost in her thoughts.

Sasuke left his apartment blindly, heart racing. He could still feel the ghost of Hinata's soft lips against his, her surprised gasp pulled from his own breath.

She had tasted of tea.

He hadn't meant to do that, but once he had it was like the final puzzle piece slotting into place.

How attuned he was to her, how much he enjoyed spending time with her, how simply being in her presence made everything better, how he couldn't stop thinking about her.

Sasuke had really convinced himself these feelings were friendship.

He was a fool.

And like a fool he'd fled instead of finding out if there was even the barest possibility of Hinata reciprocating those feelings.

He had to go back. He couldn't be a coward about this, he wouldn't.

Sasuke stopped abruptly to turn back. It was only then that he realized where his feet had taken him.

The Uchiha district entrance loomed above him, its decrepit state made obvious in the light of the afternoon sun even as it cast long shadows upon the ground that nearly swallowed his feet.

Sasuke hadn't been back since the Fujiwara mission had brought back memories better left buried.

Yet it didn't disturb him the way it had when he'd first come back to Konoha.

Slowly, Sasuke took a step into the shadow protruding from the gates. Then another. And then another.

Sasuke pushed past the worn down entrance, looking around with a steady gaze. The few visits with Hinata by his side seemed to have negated the district's ill effects on him. He didn't exactly feel good being here on his own, but it no longer made him feel like he was about to crawl out of his skin. It was the most neutral Sasuke had ever felt about his ancestral home.

These were still the grounds where most of his clansmen had been slain, the grounds where Sasuke had been orphaned. The blood of his family had soaked into the earth here and no matter how much time passed, that would never change. These were irrevocable facts.

Sasuke eyed the overgrowth in the dilapidated streets, weeds sprouting between cracks in the pavement and long grass poking through the thin layer of snow to fill the narrow alleys between buildings.

It seemed that even in a place like this, new life could grow.

He crouched down, mismatched eyes studying a small patch of weeds from beneath dark bangs that no longer obscured his vision. Extending an arm beyond his cloak, long, calloused fingers reached out to poke at a dandelion. The moment he made contact, it broke apart under his touch, tiny seeds flying away. He watched, expressionless.

Nothing could erase the past, but that didn't mean a future wasn't possible.

Sasuke knew these thoughts were a result of Hinata's influence. It was unlike him to be so optimistic. He'd never understood why anyone would look at her and walk away with an impression of gloom. Even in her bleakest moments, there was a light in Hinata that refused to be put out. It might not be the unrelenting brightness of Naruto, but her gentle glow was the kind to coax people out of the darkness.

Sasuke set his hand flat on the ground, face growing grim. The chill of the snow contrasted with the heat of his palm and melted to dampen his skin.

Hinata was the reason this place didn't feel so hopeless anymore, why Sasuke didn't feel so hopeless anymore, but that was also the reason why Sasuke should never pursue anything with her.

In this earth beneath his hand, while it was still wet with the blood of his family, Sasuke had buried his heart.

Seven years old, traumatized and hurting, Sasuke had been told to kill his closest friend and so had vowed to never get that close to anyone. He'd fought tooth and nail, but, despite his best efforts, bonds had formed against his will and so he'd needed to destroy them.

Now eighteen years old, Sasuke knew nothing about normal relationships. The bonds that he couldn't sever, he'd twisted until they were nearly unrecognizable.

Hinata was the first person in Sasuke's life that he had reached out to unprompted. She hadn't been an assigned teammate or a means to an end. Their bond was intentional. Sasuke may not have understood what it meant at the time, but he had walked step by step towards her freely.

But Hinata deserved more than Sasuke's clueless attempts and damaged heart.

The Uchiha district may be capable of hosting new life, but Hinata deserved more than weeds. She deserved a garden.

Hinata deserved someone like Naruto.

Whatever else could be said about Naruto, he was whole in a way that Sasuke wasn't. While Sasuke had sharpened his broken pieces to cut, Naruto had taken his own broken pieces and built something brighter. While Sasuke sought to drag those around him down, Naruto had lifted them up.

There was a reason, after all, why while everyone else had clamoured after Sasuke, Hinata had her heart set on Naruto.

Standing up, Sasuke came to a decision.

He wouldn't burden Hinata with these feelings. Her friendship was already more than he could ask for.

The bond between them was not one he was willing to risk ruining.

Sasuke brooding away, did we expect anything else?

Thanks as always to everyone who's reading and reviewing ^^ I'll see you next week!

MVH