Author's Note: Thank you to the kind reviewers who helped pull me out of a month's long writer's block. I can't tell you how much your generous reviews helped inspired me to write. As always, I own only my original characters.
Azula stood at the bow of her battleship, arms clasped regally behind her back. The lake breeze toyed with her bangs as her amber eyes pierced through the twilight haze to her prey. The meager ferry boat was nothing but a floating tinderbox to her, and she watched as they slowly lit their lanterns to keep out the darkness. A storm rumbled on the horizon and she smirked as she felt the distinct crackle of lightning in the air.
"Sizing up your prey?" Soo ming chimed as she approached the young princess' back.
"Have you forgotten how to address royalty?" Azula snapped. She hated how familiar the concubine pretended to be.
"I address royalty when I see it." Soo Ming answered coolly. "What is your plan?" She took no small pleasure in infuriating the princess. She'd taught the girl how to kill a man, and she would never bother to fear her because of it.
Azula's jaw tightened dangerously. "None of your concern." Amber eyes slipped from the ship in the distance to the calm and collected concubine who moved to lean against the railing.
"My niece is aboard that ship. She is my blood. It is just as much my concern as it is yours, Princess." Soo Ming allowed the faintest hint of venom to slip into her tone. "And given your recent mistakes I am hardly prepared to trust your judgement."
"How dare you?" Azula snapped in irate disbelief.
"I dare because I taught you better. Now cease your childish posturing and remember who gave you that lethal wit." Soo Ming leveled the princess with a glare that was detached and void of humanity.
Azula's jaw flexed as she grit her teeth, but she did not bite back. "We'll slip aboard under the cover of darkness." Every fiber of her being wanted to burn the bitch where she stood.
"And then?" Soo Ming narrowed her eyes as she examined Azula's every move.
"We will search the ship covertly for them. The Beifong name was on the ship's manifest. They will be somewhere on board."
"And what of your brother? He seems intent on protecting the girl." Soo Ming remembered the young prince from before his terrible injury. It was a shame. They boy would have made a very handsome fire lord.
"I'll kill him of course. He's no match for my superior skill." Azula flipped her head haughtily and smirked. "Then I'll capture his filthy peasant toy and take her home to father. He'll want to have her studied I'm sure."
"That filthy peasant thing is of my blood." Soo Ming corrected her. "You will give her to me and I will end my family's shame as it should have been five years ago."
Azula let out a disdainful laugh that was dripping with amusement. "You don't get it, do you whore? That piece of earth kingdom pig shit is a multi-bender. By royal decree any multibender is subjected to the ownership of the crown. Kill that filthy animal and my father will be furious. You couldn't spread your legs wide enough to apologize for a sin such as that." Azula leaned in to jab the concubine with her words. "Besides, do you really think Father will let you go? Even if you somehow regain your family's honour, you're still his royal consort. Ever since you first laid with him and turned your skirts inside out to display his favor, he has owned you."
Soo Ming scowled at the young woman. She'd taught the princess far too well how to aim her hateful words at weak spots. "To think I was beginning to fear you'd never listened to my lessons." Soo Ming turned on her heel and made to leave, but paused for just a moment. "It's a shame your mother never understood your monstrous potential."
Azula's smirk disappeared and was replaced with a cold glare. She watched as Soo Ming went below deck and swore to herself that she would one day seer the skin off of that insolent concubine.
By the time they reached the shore they were soaked through by the heavy rain that pelted their bodies. Iroh and Zuko pulled the lifeboat aground with a terrible scraping sound and tied it to a large rock. Ai hopped out of the boat into the knee deep water and helped steady it as Kitsune stood and leaned into Lee's arms. He carried her to the beach and set her down on the large smooth stones. Lee returned to the boat and cut the rope.
"Why did you do that?" Ai called over the wind. Even in emergencies she was too curious to help but ask questions.
"Do you want to leave a sign for them to follow?" Lee grunted as he passed the young girl. His eyes flicked to Kitsu who was struggling to remain standing in the wind and atop the slick rocks. He did not hesitate to scoop her up and to his relief she didn't argue with him. His arm felt like they'd been ripped off from the exertion of rowing the boat, but it wasn't the first time he'd felt that particular strain, so he held her tight against him and ignored his screaming muscles.
The waterlogged group trudged toward the path that led up a cliff to what appeared to be a small town. The path was smoothe enough so Zuko set Kitsu on her feet and she limped along with his support. He would have carried her the whole way if he could but he was swaying on his own feet as it was. Ai took Kitsu's other side and Mushi led the trio up the switchback.
"Not much farther, Kitsu." Ai reassured her. "You're tough as rocks, you can make it."
Kitsu's leg twinged with sharp pain from every step and she felt as weak as a turtle-duck, but she couldn't burden the others any further. Ai kept up a string of encouragement as she struggled and Kitsu focused on the younger girl's words. She was tough, she'd seen worse, she could do it.
Zuko listened to Ai comfort Kitsu and somewhere deep inside himself wished he knew the right words the way Ai did. He could feel Kitsu shudder with pain after every step, but he couldn't do more than support her as much as his wrecked arms would allow.
As they finally entered the town they realized they were in luck. It was a resort town, with Inn's a plenty and they huddled into the first one they came across. The lobby was floored with earthen tile and built with small embellishments that reflected its lakeside location. Mushi scurried ahead of the three youngsters and gave the greying innkeeper his most charming smile.
"Hello, my lady. May we trouble you for three rooms? We were caught in this terrible storm and separated from our travel companions."
The woman flushed at his manners but eyed them up nonetheless. "Were you separated from your coin as well?" She asked pointedly. "I can't afford any charity cases." She warned.
Zuko growled and left Kitsu's side to stomp up to the woman's little counter. Everyone flinched at his flare of temper, but they let out a collective sigh of relief when he did nothing more than slam the Beifong coin on the counter.
"Take us to the rooms." He commanded coldly before slipping the coin back into his sleeve.
As soon as the woman laid eyes on the giant gold coin her eyes lit up with delight. "Why didn't you say you were Beifong?" She chirped sweetly. "I'll show you to our finest rooms!"
The group looked at each other with side-long glances at her sudden change of manner.
Zuko grit his teeth at the absurdity of it all. One gold coin could open so many doors and broaden so many fake smiles. The little wrinkly woman slipped out from behind her desk and hurried to beckon them further into the inn. She led them down a long corridor and opened one room after the other, waiving for them to enter. Mushi nodded to the young ones before slipping into his room, but Ai hesitated.
"Will you need any help, Kitsu?" She asked as her eyes flicked nervously between her lord and lady. The young girl had no question that the lord would see to Kitsu's needs diligently, but she felt guilty taking refuge before she saw to her friend's needs. Kitsu smiled at Ai and shook her head.
"Get some rest." Kitsu said reassuringly. "I'll be fine." Ai looked absolutely exhausted. To some extent it served the girl right for how she became a part of the group, but
"We leave at sunrise," Lee added firmly. "Don't oversleep or we'll leave you here."
"No we won't!" Kitsu slapped Lee's arm and felt immediately horrible when he winced in pain. She hadn't seen him get hurt, did rowing the boat hurt him? A terrible feeling settled in her stomach as she realized she hadn't even considered how difficult it must have been to row all that way without stopping. He had never taken a break even once, and the waves had pushed their little boat around like a toy in a child's bath.
Ai nodded nervously and slipped into her room, leaving Kitsu and Lee to follow the old woman to the last room in the hall.
"Will you be needing supper?" The little woman asked as she wrung her hands.
"Please arrange for food to be brought to all of our rooms." Kitsu asked politely. "Otherwise we do not wish to be disturbed." The woman bowed and turned on her heel before disappearing down the corridor. Zuko was surprised that Kitsu chose to give the orders. Usually she left the commanding moments to him, unless of course she was angry or particularly determined.
"Don't be so polite to that woman." Zuko grumbled as he helped her across the room and to the bed. "She would have thrown us out on our ear if it wasn't for that coin." His golden eyes scanned the small but finely furnished room they would stay in for the night. There was a bed and a single loveseat in the room. Even here by the water everything was one shade or another of green or earthy beige.
Kitsu could hear the exhaustion in his voice. She didn't have the heart to argue with him in his current state. Once again he had pushed himself to the absolute limit for her and each time he did so she felt even more endeared to the temperamental man.
"Come here." She murmured as she reached out for him. Her fingers brushed his arm and he flinched from even that gentle touch. Zuko looked down at her solemnly as she rolled up his sleeves and inspected his injured arm thoroughly. The burn seemed fine to her, but the muscles beneath were swollen from over exertion. At the very least his skin was healing well. Zuko watched as her pretty face contorted in a look of sorrow.
"You're in a lot of pain." It wasn't a question. She could tell by the way the flesh of his arms quivered. The whole time they'd been in the boat her eyes were glued to his back. As scared as she was, the sight of him calmed her. All of the things he'd done for her, to keep her safe, flashed through her mind. Kitsu had no doubt that she could trust him with her life in any situation. He was strong, capable, and a force to be reckoned with.
"It doesn't matter." Zuko shrugged. When her harlequin eyes flicked up at him in anger he frowned. He wiped some of her rain soaked hair out of her face and tried to smile but it came out crooked and exhausted.
"It matters to me dammit." She snapped at him. "Take your shirt off and sit on the bed." Lee could try to reassure her with that adorable half smile of his but she wasn't going to stand for it.
Zuko didn't protest, but the moment he tried to pull his shirt over his head he realized that he had underestimated how sore he actually was. Kitsu sighed when she saw him struggle and grabbed the shirt, tugging it over his shoulders for him.
"See? You can't even undress yourself." She scolded.
Any other time Zuko would be elated to have a woman tearing his clothes off, especially this woman, but her tone and expression made it clear she was in no mood for suggestive behavior.
"You know you don't have to be the strong silent type all the time." She grumbled as he sat on the bed and she began to gently rub his muscles. His skin was still slick from the rain and her hand glided over the expanse of his broad shoulders skillfully. Zuko let out a soft groan and let his head loll forward as he felt her magical hands smoothe the searing pain in his muscles. The dampness of their clothing soaked into the comforter leaving blots of dark moisture in the fabric.
"What's that s'posed to mean?" He asked through clenched teeth. As good as it felt, her massage was toeing the line of pain. The freshly smoothed calluses of her hands glided across his skin and he pinched his eyes shut as she found a knot.
"It means you need to tell me when you're hurt!" She grumbled as her brows knit in concentration. "How am I supposed to take care of you if you don't tell me what you need?" It was true. She wanted desperately to repay him for all of the hardship he suffered for her. She wanted to care for him the way he diligently cared for her, even if he was a grouch fifty percent of the time
A shiver ran down Lee's spine and Kitsu stopped wondering if she'd hurt him unintentionally. "I'm supposed to be taking care of you." He mumbled. Kitsu pinched her eyes shut as an unfamiliar warmth bloomed in her chest. This man had gone through too much for her, and he wasn't even willing to admit when he needed help himself. She wondered if he could feel her hands trembling as she touched him. Memories from the day before crept into her mind and she swallowed the butterflies that rioted in her stomach. She realized how comfortable and intimate they were with each other.
"You're the only reason I'm alive right now." Kitsu leaned forward and kissed his shoulder gently. It was a strange gesture for her, but somehow she felt right doing it. "Don't steal my chance to express my gratitude by thinking you have to take on the world alone. Okay?" For once, she had no trouble finding her words. Kitsu wanted him to know how much she cared for his well being… and for him. "I know what that feels like and… I wouldn't wish it on anyone." Memories of the time following her parent's death slipped through her mind but she pushed them away.
Zuko swallowed the lump forming in his throat and pinched his eyes shut. No one spoke to him like that, at least, not since his mother died. He didn't deserve her kindness. The way she was touching him made him almost believe he had a wife, but he knew the truth. He hadn't won her hand, and she didn't love him. She was just going through the motions she thought she needed to. Or so he told himself.
Kitsu waited for a moment but when he did not respond she pressed her palms to his shoulders once more. "Hold still." She mumbled. "I'm not very good at this, so tell me if it hurts."
Zuko was going to ask what she meant but got his answer when her hands began to heat up. She was using her chi to soothe his aching muscles and he couldn't stop the appreciative groan that escaped his lips.
"You never firebend." He whispered in surprise. This was only the third time he'd ever witnessed her ability, and in truth he had no idea how skilled she was with it. She was a master earthbender, there was no question about that, but her life depended on her ability to hide her firebending. He'd only seen the slightest signs of firebending ability; deflecting attacks, and concentrating heat, but nothing more. She was being vulnerable with him by using such a secret power. Vaguely he wondered how the avatar must have felt when he chased him across the world and back. The irony wasn't lost on him and he pushed the uncomfortable thought from his mind.
"This is a special case." She answered with a smile. "If I can't use it to help the people I love then what is it good for, right?" Zuko's back stiffened and his heart stuttered when she said those words. "Did I hurt you?" She asked, pulling her hands away in a panic.
"You love me?" The disbelief in Lee's voice caught her off guard. He didn't turn to look at her, but she could see the anxiety in the set of his shoulders. Kitsu flushed and stumbled about what to say. It was like all the words she'd ever known escaped her. Where did the surety she had just moments before go? It felt like such a natural thing to say. She hadn't meant for it to be a confession, but now that she said it…
"How could I not?" Kitsu whispered. Did the candles in the room flare up when she said that?
"How could you?" He ground out as he pressed his palms to his face. "You don't know anything about me."
Kitsu flinched at his words and felt the sting of rejection in her stomach. "I-." Kitsu pulled her hands away from him and tried to swallow the knot in her throat. "I know you are brave… and kind… and willing to do anything to protect me. I know you're stubborn and that you don't like to let other people see when you're afraid… I know that you've been hurt really badly by your family… just like me." She was rambling, but she wanted him to believe her. "I know that when you smile at me I feel like the sun is shining just for me." The last sentence surprised her but as soon as she said it she knew it was true.
As Kitsu rambled Zuko's heart began to pound and his chest felt too tight. She was defending her love for him and he was blindsided by her willingness to describe why. Her tone was unsure and delicate and it made him want to cradle her and take his words back.
She felt Lee shift on the bed and looked up in time for their lips to collide. Her body flashed with heat as he laid her back into a passionate kiss, cradled in his arms and pressed hard against his body. His hot lips caressed her own and she felt dizzy. Her arms wrapped around his back, pulling him closer to her as he gently nibbled on her lip. Every inch of her body was on fire as his weight pressed her into the mattress and the smell of his wet skin surrounded her.
Zuko couldn't stop himself. Her words had flipped a switch inside of him that made him feel as though he would die if he didn't kiss her senseless. The feel of her small body beneath him and her sweet lips on his own felt impossibly good. When he pulled away they were both breathless.
"Lee." She gasped. Her face was flushed pink and her eyes were brimming with arousal.
Zuko froze at the sound of her calling the name that was not his. Reality came crashing down on him and he pinched his eyes shut to get the sight of her breathless, flushed, face out of his view. How could he do this to her?
"That's not my name." He blurted out as he sat up and put distance between himself and the woman who he so desperately wanted.
Kitsu blinked and sat up in utter confusion. "What?"
"I said that isn't my name." He growled back as he took a hank of his hair in his hand and squeezed. He couldn't bring himself to look at her. If he delayed telling her the truth any longer he would lose himself and betray her unforgivably.
Kitsu was unsure of what he meant, but she didn't like his sudden shift in mood. Something was wrong, and she could feel it in her chest. "Then-... What is your name? And why did you tell me your name was Lee?"
Zuko opened his eyes and faced Kitsu. He was terrified of what she would think when he told her the truth. "My name is Zuko. I'm the first born son of Fire Lord Ozai, the banished prince of the fire nation." As his titles slipped from his lips he watched her face contort into one of disbelief, and then anger.
"Tell me you're lying." She whispered. Her throat was so tight she could barely get the words out and her voice shook.
Zuko felt as though a blade slipped between his ribs when he saw her beautiful eyes flash with fury. This was everything he feared. "Not now." Was all he could say.
Kitsu scrambled to get off the bed, wincing as her injured leg hit the floor but she needed to put distance between herself and the man she'd believed was Lee. How could she? How could she have done this? With every fiber of her being she could not believe she would marry a man who was of the same flesh and bone as the tyrant who had ordered the constant attacks on her parents. The room was spinning around her as her chest began to heave with panic.
"Did I know that!?" She barked. "Did you tell me that before we were married?" Now more than ever she was driven nearly insane by her loss of memory. She couldn't believe that she would knowingly betray her parents this way. Zuko dropped his head in shame and she recoiled from him as though he had slapped her.
"We aren't married." The words fell into the room like stones. "When you were wounded everyone who gave us aid simply assumed we were. I couldn't correct them without threatening my own disguise." Zuko felt sick with shame as he revealed his lies to her. Only moments before she had been confessing her feelings for him and now he was forced to reveal his terrible wrongs. Already he longed to go back to those few blissful moments where she spoke sweet words and touched him gently.
The silence that fell over the room was deafening. Kitsu was frozen in her place, a look of shock and betrayal etched into her features as she felt tears build in her eyes and nausea crawl up her throat. In the back of her mind she heard her old fears. Of course she wasn't really married, of course it was all a lie. She was unlovable, and damaged
She'd given this man every privilege a husband would enjoy, been vulnerable with him, shown him affections a woman would only give her husband and he had lied to her the entire time.
"Did you enjoy making a fool of me!?" Kitsu spat as her tears finally spilled over and ran down her cheeks.
"No!" Zuko held up his hands to calm her. "That was never my intention!" He watched as her body trembled with rage and he wanted to burn himself alive for causing the pain in her eyes.
"Your intention?" Kistu scoffed bitterly. "Your intention was to use me!" Each word she spoke was a realization. "You let me think- You let me think I could love you!"
"Can't you?" The desperate question leapt off of his lips. "Because I lo-"
"Don't you dare!" Kitsu sobbed. The torrent of emotions that swirled through her was suffocating her. "Don't you dare say that now!"
"Why not?" Zuko couldn't let himself lose her without telling her how she made him feel. "Everything that has happened between us since you woke up has been genuine!"
"And I'm supposed to believe that!?" She snapped as she turned her back to him. "I thought I was bonding with a husband I couldn't remember, but really I was embarrassing myself in front of a stranger who used me for safe passage!" Her face colored when she realized how intimate she'd been with him. "I let you see me naked! I let you touch me!" She groaned with newfound shame.
Zuko ground his teeth as he tried to swallow the all consuming disgust he felt for himself. The horror in her voice as she realized just how much he'd taken from her drove home the true cost of his actions. "You're right. I'm despicable for lying to you, and for taking privileges that are meant for your husband. I never wanted any of this to happen. Every day I spent with you was a gift that I don't deserve and I will spend the rest of my life regretting what I've done."
"Why were you even there when I was injured!?" Kitsu snapped. Did you come to finish what my uncle started!?" Kitsu was yelling now, unable to control her anger any longer. The candles in the room flared as she shook with rage.
Zuko felt as though he'd been kicked in the stomach. "No! You were giving us refuge and caring for my wounds. You wouldn't allow me to leave until I was healed!" After everything they'd gone through together, everything he'd done to keep her safe, how could she think that?
Kitsu felt her blood run cold as she realized the worst fact of all. "You're the reason they found me." Kitsu felt as though she would collapse and reached out to grab the wall and steady herself. "I lost everything because of you!"
Zuko didn't know what to say. She was right, and it cut him deeply to know that he was a source of such terrible pain and loss for her. How could he have ever imagined that she would want to be with him after she discovered the truth. Even from his own lips it made no difference.
Even as angry as she was Kitsu couldn't stand the look of sorrow on Zuko's face, but each time she felt the tiniest hint of pity for him her temper flared. It was all a lie. Every smile, every quiet moment, all of it and she could not bare the pain it caused her.
"Get out!" She snapped. When he didn't move she punched the stone wall so hard that it rumbled. "Get out of my sight!"
Zuko clenched his fists and stood. He wished desperately that he could come up with the right words to make her understand that he had fallen madly in love with her, but he knew it was useless now. "I'm sorry, Kitsune." Were his final words before he crossed the room and walked out the door.
As soon as the door shut Kitsu collapsed to the floor and began to wail. The sounds of her pitiful cries echoed back at her and pushed her deeper into self hatred and despair. Again and again she asked herself how she could be so stupid. She couldn't know that Zuko was on the other side, fighting tears as he listened to the pain he'd caused.