Author's note: As always I own nothing. Also, this chapter took some serious writer's block busting so please let me know what you think. I will admit that I'm a slut for your reviews and if you guys want more I'd love some feedback. Anyway, please enjoy!
Kitsu cried for over an hour as she absorbed the shock and hurt until finally she felt nothing at all. She wasn't tired, or angry, or sad; just empty. A quiet knock came at the door and Ai slipped inside with a nervous expression.
"Are you alright?" Ai asked cautiously. Kitsu was curled in a ball on the bed, unmoving.
"No." Kitsu responded blankly. "But I'll live." She didn't bother to move. The will to do anything but lay perfectly still had left her. For a moment she considered digging a deep hole and crawling into it. The idea of swaddling herself in rock where she could never be hurt again was a tantalizing option.
"Lord Lee told me to give you this." Ai held out the Beifong coin that Zuko had been carrying since he pried it from Kitsu's wall back at the compound. Kitsu did not turn to look, she already knew what it must be.
"Has he left then?" Her dull voice did not betray the fear and pain she felt inside. How could it hurt so deeply to lose someone that had wounded her like this? She'd never felt the pain of betrayal before. Loss was an old friend, but betrayal was a new and cruel acquaintance.
"Yes." Ai could see that Kitsu was not well. She couldn't understand what could have happened to make Lee leave his injured wife all alone, but clearly it was something grave. The servant girl dare not ask who wronged whom. Her mother's words reminded her that ladies, for all their silk and luxury, also suffered at the hands of men and felt just as deeply.
Kitsu pinched her eyes shut and attempted to swallow the lump in her throat as another sob threatened to come up. Somehow his departure had only made her feel more betrayed. It was as though she couldn't decide whether she never wanted to see him again, or she desperately wanted him to come back and make everything alright. But nothing was alright. Slowly Kitsu sat up and turned to Ai who started at the site of her tear stained face.
"We will never speak of him again." Kitsu droned the words as if someone else was saying them for her. She would pretend he'd never stolen her heart, and never broken it. That was the only way she would be able to move on. She would bury her emotions deep in her heart, the same way she did when her parents died. With time the pain would lose its teeth and she could drone through life unchanged. Or so she thought.
"But , Kitsu-" Ai couldn't believe that the couple had separated so completely. The tone in Kitsu's voice left Ai unwilling to strain her any further. "Okay." Ai crossed the room and sat on the bed next to Kitsu. She laid a gentle hand on Kitsu's quivering shoulder and said nothing more. Ai had seen her sister like this once when Chen had a falling out with Shan. All she could do was pet her soothingly and provide silent companionship.
The two women rose early the next morning and procured a pair of ostrich horses for the last leg of their trip. The town they landed in was a mere 10 miles from the outer wall of Ba Sing Se and they could be in the city by midday. Ai did her best to be cheery and keep up a conversation with Kitsu, but the older woman was still sullen and quiet. Kitsu didn't like riding the strange ostrich horse. She wanted Poki, but the bird had been left on the ferry and she could only hope that he would arrive safely in the port. Kitsu didn't know how she would retrieve him, but she would cross that bridge when she was safe within the city walls.
When the two women first saw the outer wall of Ba Sing Se both of them let out a gasp of surprise. They emerged from a wooded path to find a barren field that surrounded the city. Kitsu vaguely noted that it was most likely a tactical decision so that no one could sneak up to the city.
"It's enormous!" Ai exclaimed. "We're a mile away at least and it still looks huge!"
"You're right." Kitsu answered quietly. "I have never seen such an enormous structure." A string of refugees and travelers that looked like a trail of ants stretched toward the city gates. How many of them had been wronged and uprooted by the fire nation, just like her?
"Mother says there are two more walls inside of that one. Can you believe there is a whole city inside of there?" Kitsu shook herself from her dower thoughts and glanced at Ai. The younger girl was smiling at her and fiddling with her reins in excitement.
"My mother was born here." Kitsu mused as she spurred her rented steed forward, no longer content to sit and oggle the sights. "We need to keep moving."
The main gate to the city was heavily guarded, but a line of merchants and travelers filtered through the guard stations. Kitsu and Ai were hot from the blazing sun above, and were still dressed in their travel clothing that were stiff from the rain and sweat of the night before. Anxiety rolled in Kitsu's belly as their turn came closer.
"Papers please." The guard grunted. Kitsu nodded and pulled her Beifong coin from her belt to show the guard. It dangled from it's emerald green chord and flashed in the blinding sun. His eyes widened upon seeing the coin and he turned to signal another guard.
"We've been expecting you, my lady." The guard said with a broad smile. "Your family's men have been awaiting your arrival for days." As he informed her of this, two men with flying boars stamped into their armor rushed up and bowed low to her.
"Lady Kitsune! I cannot tell you how happy we are to finally have you safe in our care." The older of the two guards looked up and upon seeing only two women became confused. "We were told to expect your husband and another traveler as well. Will they be joining you?"
Kitsu bit back the pain that stabbed her heart at the mention of her husband. "They died." She answered firmly. Ai gasped, but a stern glance from Kitsu kept her silent. Kitsu would not bear explaining the events that took place the night before, or her foolishness that led to them. She had not expected an escort to be waiting for her, let alone to know her name. It both eased her nerves and put her on edge. For the first time she would meet her family, and witness the true wealth and magnitude from which she'd spent her whole life hiding.
"I am terribly sorry." The guard frowned deeply. "We will take you into the city then. We have more suitable arrangements prepared for your travel through the city just within the wall." Each guard took a set of reins and they led the two women through the gates. Kitsu reluctantly dropped her reins and allowed herself to be led. She looked up at the hulking archway as she passed beneath it and wondered fleetingly if that was the wall where her parents met.
"Oh wow!" Ai's exclamation drew Kitsu's attention and her mouth fell open as she took her first peek into the city. Houses were stacked upon houses and everywhere she looked there were people bartering, and working. Children scuttled between throngs of adults and hawkers shouted their wares. It was a lively and filthy place that hung with a cacophony of sounds and smells that blended together to make a dull, bustling roar.
The guards led the two women to a palanquin that was surrounded by its bearers. They helped the travel weary ladies dismount from their ostrich horses but Kitsu hissed when her injured leg took weight.
"Are you feeling pain, my lady?" The younger guard asked her. His green eyes flashed with concern and he froze as if he could not decide whether to pick her up and carry her or leave her be. "Can we get you anything to make you more comfortable?" Kitsu looked at him as though he were absurd. He was helping her into a silk lined palanquin that was overflowing with pillows and shaded from the sun by sheer green cloth. How on earth could she be more comfortable?
"No thank you." Kitsu waived him away. "I want to be taken to my family as quickly as possible." The young, green eyed guard nodded and turned to the palanquin bearers.
"You heard our Lady. Gently now." As the guard ordered the platform lurched upward and they were raised onto the shoulders of the palanquin bearers, putting them well above the crowd. Kitsu barely had the energy to be embarrassed by the spectacle. She did her best to sit tall as the eyes of passersby pried at the palanquin trying to get a glimpse of her. Her entire person was a mess and she looked ridiculous in her borrowed clothing.
The guards cleared a path through the throng of people and they cut through like a boat through icy water. Kitsu had never in her life received such a ridiculous amount of attention, and it made her feel immeasurably small. How could she hope to build a connection with people who had been born and raised into a life like this. With every jostle of the palanquin she was more and more certain that she was making a grave mistake, but it was much too late to turn back.
Ai was alight with gasps of awe and pointing out every new spectacle they passed. The young girl could hardly contain her excitement at all of the new sites. The sheer number of people in the streets was enough to display just how enormous the city was. Kitsu would nod as she looked at the exootic animals for sale, or tailor's shops hung with fine fabrics that glistened at them. Her responses were lackluster and exhausted but it did not dampen Ai's spirits in the slightest.
As they passed through the second wall Kitsu knit her brows at the sudden change in the city. Houses were not so cramped and the streets were well kept. Business was of a higher standard and the people who inhabited the streets wore lovely, clean clothing. It did not sit well with Kitsu that there was such a disparity between the quality of life of the outer ring, and the inner ring. Groups of young women in fine dresses eyed the palanquin as it passed and whispered behind golden fans. Kitsu frowned as she watched them laugh and nod in her direction. Even lifted above them they still found the nerve to laugh at her. Kitsu swallowed and sat ramrod straight. It was all too much. Too much noise, too many people, too many smells and colors and signs.
The older guard rode up alongside the palanquin on Kitsu's rented ostrich-horse and waved to her. "We are nearly there, my lady!" The man smiled at her broadly but Kitsu could not return the gesture. "Lady Poppy is beside herself with joy to finally meet you. We are all so happy to have you home at last!" Kitsu grimaced and looked at her legs that were neatly tucked beneath her. This wasn't home, but it would have to do.
"Thank you." Kitsu raised her head and gave the guard a wan smile. It wasn't his fault she had gone through so much.
"We will take you directly to Lady Poppy and then once you have reunited the house staff will see to it that you are made comfortable in your new lodgings." The guard recounted the itinerary and Kitsu frowned once more. She would not even be allowed a bathe before she would be presented to her family. Embarrassment roiled in the pit of her stomach as she realized how filthy she was.
Slowly and yet all at once they arrived in front of a grand home with walled gardens and a massive front gate. Kitsu couldn't even remember how they'd gotten there. She could feel herself trembling in fear as she was carried like a sacrifice into the open maw of the palatial estate. Guards and servants scurried everywhere in preparation for her arrival. Every plant, pillar, and person within the walls of the family estate was of the finest quality. No expense had been spared in the construction, and maintenance of the family home. Her mother was raised in this palatial building, raised and formed within the thick marble walls.
Kitsu swallowed roughly as the palanquin was lowered and two women dressed in green cheongsam approached. Even the servants were more presentable than she and her companion. Gold hairpins adorned their meticulously wrapped buns and their dresses were made of glistening silk. Somehow, even more shame rose in Kitsu's stomach.
"We are overjoyed to serve you, Lady Kitsune!" The taller of the two women chimed as she pulled back the sheer cloth to smile at Kitsu. Shock and displeasure filled her eyes as she looked at Kitsu's state of dress. "Oh, my lady! What have you suffered through? Please allow us to find you more suitable attire!" She spoke with such tones of concern that Kitsu was thrown off, but she would not turn down the opportunity to freshen up.
"Thank you."Kitsu gave an appreciative nod and a weak smile. "I would like this woman to be treated as my honoured companion." Kitsu knew she must dictate Ai's rank, to ensure she was treated properly. It was her first and only concern as she prepared to enter an alien world. She would not stand for the young girl being shunted off to some servants quarters. The two women nodded in understanding and they, along with Ai's help, Hoisted her off of the Palanquin and onto her feet.
All eyes were glued to her as she struggled to maintain a composed gate. Even with the aid of the three women she was in terrible pain from over exerting her wounded limb, but she would not let their first glimpse of her be completely disappointing. She kept her eyes forward and did little more than nod as stranger after stranger approached her and exalted her supposedly anticipated return. They were becoming a sea of faces she could not quite make out, and a cacophony of praise that she felt did not truly belong to her.
When the women reached a bedroom Kitsu assumed it must be where they intended to keep her. They guided her directly into a bathroom and to Kitsu's horror began undressing her without so much as asking her permission. Their nimble hands unfastened Lee's shirt and trousers, that Kitsu still wore, faster than she thought was even proper. Kitsu looked to Ai in a panic and the young girl immediately began swatting the women away.
"My Lady does not need your assistance." Ai piped up, sounding almost authoritative. A tense moment blossomed between the poorly dressed servant girl and the finely dressed maids. They sized her up, and thinking better of displeasing their new charge, took a step back.
"Of course, Madame. Our apologies." The shorter woman bowed to Ai who stood taller at the formal title. It was Kitsu's desire to honour the 16 year old that earned her the respected title of Madame. A companion was above even the head maid, and would be treated similarly to low ranking aristocracy.
"You may go fetch her proper attire. I will see to my Lady's personal needs from here." Ai rolled up her filthy sleeves and turned her back to the two Bei Fong servants who scurried out.
"Authority suits you." Kitsu said with an appreciative smile. The smile that spread across Ai's face barely concealed the moisture collecting at the corners of her eyes.
"Do you know what you've done for me?" Ai asked incredulously. "I would tell off an army of maids for you." The young girl knelt next to the bath and was delighted to find that the Bei Fong, as expected, had running water. She started the bath and tested the water as she hummed a cheerful tune.
"Have I done so much?" Kitsu murmured. For reasons she would not admit, even to herself, she felt melancholy. Ai's quiet singing soothed her, and yet tears welled in her eyes.
"One sentence from your lips has elevated me to a level I could not have achieved even if I spent years trying. Do you realize what that means for me? I will be given my own rooms, a weekly wage, clothing allowances. Everyone will treat me with respect." Ai knelt next to where Kitsu had been placed on the edge of the tub and took the older girl's hands in her own. "You are a blessing." Ai squeezed Kitsu's hands tightly and beamed down at her employer. Kitsu swallowed and looked away.
"You're my only friend." Kitsu mumbled as she watched crystal clear water rise in the large basin shaped tub. "I am going to take care of you."
"Let's take care of you first, Kitsu." Ai said with a sweet smile. "How is your wound?" Ai daintily removed the bandage and winced at the angry red skin beneath. "It's inflamed. I'll need to wash it and apply salves." Deftly the young girl unwound the bandage and tossed it into a small pile by the door. She gently ran her fingers over the seam of the wound, checking for any sign of weeping or fluid. Despite all the motion and abuse it had taken in the last twenty four hours the wound looked surprisingly sound.
Kitsu chewed the inside of her lip as her eyes cast about and examined her surroundings. If she'd thought Lord Gumo's palace was extravagant, she was certain that her familial estate was palatial. Even the bathroom where she now sat had high ceilings, and enormous arched windows that looked out onto an enclosed garden.
"Here, why don't we get you in the tub now?" Ai asked as she helped Kitsu stand and peel off the filthy disguise. Once Kitsu was settled safely in the large tub Ai set about finding soaps for her. Kitsu was thankful to have Ai. After everything she'd gone through in the past week, the past day even, she wouldn't have had the energy to chase away the strange maids and care for herself.
Her mind drifted to a much harsher time, when she was alone and wounded even worse. Until she left her little compound she never realized how valuable friends could be, or how quickly they could be made. Unbidden the image of Lee- no… Zuko's face came to her mind and her hand flew to her mouth to stifle a sob.
Lady Poppy and her husband Lao sat in their tea room with their daughter Toph sitting quietly by their side. Toph kept her signature blank expression as she listened to her mother's heart thundering.
"You said that she was injured?" Lady Poppy addressed her head maid and the woman nodded.
"Yes, my Lady. It seems she is still affected by injuries sustained before Lord Gumo's letter." The older woman nodded her head as she spoke.
"And you say that two of her companions have died on their way here?" Lady Poppy's voice shook and her silent daughter grimaced. Who was this mysterious cousin who had lived such an exciting life?
"That is correct, my Lady. Lady Kitsu informed the guards of their demise. She did not offer further explanation." The maid fidgeted as she spoke and frowned in apology to her lady.
"Of course she didn't." Lord Lao murmured understandingly. "We can only imagine what the poor thing is feeling."
Toph's parents were always so gentile and polite. Meanwhile their daughter sat silently by, burning with questions. The sound of footsteps approaching met her ears but she did not alert anyone of this knowledge. When the rice paper doors finally slipped open, suddenly Toph could hear two thundering hearts instead of one.
Kitsu stood as tall as she could. The Kimono she wore had many layers and she felt heavy as she stood before the lord and Lady who were her aunt and uncle. Her leg screamed in pain as she swayed unsteadily. They looked like paintings she had seen of royalty. A girl about Ai's age sat to the side, the picture of refinement. Kitsu gathered that the girl must be her cousin.
"Kitsune." Her name fell hushed from her aunt's lips and in the strange woman's eyes she saw tears forming. A lily white hand rose to the Lady's mouth as she took in her niece. To the shock of all, Poppy rose to her feet and rushed forward to clasp her niece's hands. Kitsu tried not to flinch away. Her aunt was shorter than she was and as she looked down at the awestruck woman she recognized similarities to her mother's face.
"I've waited so long to meet you." Lady Poppy spoke as tears began to slip down her cheeks in earnest. Kitsu didn't know what to say. She scrambled for a response but found her head completely empty.
"I'm sorry it has taken so long?" It came out more of a question than a reassurance and Kitsu coloured with embarrassment. Lady Poppy laughed and shook her head as she stared into Kitsu's face, examining her.
"You look just like Meilin!" Poppy exclaimed and threw her arms around Kitsu in a tight embrace. Kitsu stiffly patted her back and blinked in confusion. Her aunt was warm and soft. A deep ache bloomed in Kitsu's chest as she remembered her own mother's face. Somewhere deep inside her she had buried her longing for family. It had withered away in the background of her mind and nearly died, until her aunt's gentle arms encircled her and held her tight. Poppy smelled like orange blossoms and oolong tea and for some reason it caused a lump to form in Kitsu's throat.
"Thank you." Kitsu murmured hoarsely. "So do you." She felt awkward and out of place, unsure of how to reciprocate her aunt's affection. Poppy released Kitsu and took her hand, guiding her to the low table where her Uncle and Cousin sat.
"I'm your Aunt Poppy. I don't know if your mother ever told you about me." Lady Poppy began as she sat next to her husband and waved for Kitsu to take a seat across from them.
"She mentioned you a few times." Kitsu replied as she struggled to sit with any amount of grace. Her leg pulsed with searing pain as she knelt stiffly and was forced to sit with her legs tucked neatly beneath her.
"I am your Uncle Lao." The man next to Poppy spoke up and smiled at her. " And that is your cousin, Toph." He had pale green eyes that seemed kind and his grin was welcoming.
Kitsu swallowed and bobbed her head. "I'm pleased to meet you." The room fell silent and Kitsu looked from her Aunt to her Uncle and back to her cousin unsure of who would speak first. She noticed that her cousin's eyes were a milky green color and they remained on the floor, never rising to inspect her.
"Is your suite to your liking?" Lord Lao waved for a maid to begin pouring tea and a girl quickly began to fulfil his wishes. Once again the air was thick with unspoken questions and awkward tension.
"Yes. Thank you." She couldn't tell them that her rooms were too big, and the garden too ornamental, or that her bathtub could be a small pond. She was not ungrateful, but the luxury of her surroundings did little to put her at ease.
"Wonderful." Poppy chimed in. "I know you will feel right at home in no time." She picked up her teacup and took a dainty sip as she held her sleeve away. "We will ensure that your companion is housed across the hall."
"Thank you." Kitsu stared at her cup and felt anxiety vibrating in her limbs.
"Is that all you know how to say?" Toph finally piped up. She hadn't moved an inch, but she could feel Kitsu's eyes sizing her up.
"Toph!" Lord Loa scolded his daughter. He turned to Kitsu and knit his brows in apology. To his surprise Kitsu was smiling softly.
"I can say other things." Kitsu admitted calmly. "Like that I hope we can be friends." Kitsu watched as Toph's milky eyes widened and wondered what the girl was thinking.
"Of course you can!" Laddy Poppy interjected in an attempt to regain control of the conversation. "Now, tell me about yourself. We have so much to catch up on!"
Kitsu's gaze shifted to her Aunt and she nodded, unsure of where to begin. Lady Poppy saw the hesitation in her niece's unusual eyes.
"How is my sister?" Poppy asked hopefully. "Where is she?"
Kitsu's face fell and she looked at the wood grain of the tea table. "My parents are buried in a field outside of Omashu. They died three years ago. We were attacked by Fire Nation soldiers searching for my father… I barely escaped with my life." The words fell into the room like stones. Kitsu could not bear to look into her Aunt's eyes as she heard that her sister was gone.
"Three years ago?" Poppy repeated the words in a state of shock. She'd always imagined her sister somewhere covered in dirt and gardening beneath the sun. Never had she allowed herself to imagine the worst.
"Yes." Kitsu swallowed the lump in her throat. It had not occurred to her before today that her family would grieve for her parents.
"Oh." Poppy's voice was small and devastated, but even so she carried herself with grace. "Where have you lived since then?"
"I built a compound out of a natural crater...I-I'm an earth bender you see. My mother taught me. I lived and farmed there until I was attacked once again." Kitsu looked up at her Aunt who was now regarding her in abject horror.
"You lived alone? For so long?" Lord Lao chimed in concerned. Kitsu nodded and wrung her hands as they took in this news.
"You must have been so lonely." Poppy murmured as she looked at Kitsu with an emotion that bordered on pity. "And scared."
"I wasn't." Kitsu responded with an uncomfortable edge to her voice. "My parents taught me how to take care of myself." They made her little compound that she loved so dearly sound like a horrible place and she couldn't tolerate it. Of course it seemed undesirable from their place in a palace, but she wanted nothing more to return and be left in solitude once more.
"And yet here you are." Lord Lao spoke gently. "You do not need to run any longer."
Kitsu was struck dumb by her Uncles words. She didn't have to run. There was no way the fire nation could ever reach her here.
"It's true." Lady Poppy smiled gently. "We can care for you here. We can teach you about your family and give you anything you've ever wanted." Her words meant little to a young woman who had been raised in quiet poverty, but Kitsu lit up at the chance to learn more about her mother.
"I'd like that very much." Kitsu murmured. She had so many questions.
"Is there anything you need?" Lord Lao asked as he waved for his manservant to come to his side. A tall thin man that Kitsu hadn't even noticed emerged from the corner of the room and leaned forward to listen to his lord's command.
"My ostrich horse… I had to abandon him on the ferry I took across the East and West Lakes. He is my prized possession. I would like to retrieve him." When the request left her lips she saw her uncle's eyebrows raise in surprise, but nonetheless he nodded and turned to his servant.
"See to it that the animal is collected and given the finest care." Lord Loa commanded and the man servant bowed before backing out of the room, never turning his back on his master. Kitsu was astonished by the absurdity of the gesture and watched the man go. He did not turn around until he was well out of the room.
"Thank you." Kitsu shifted uncomfortably and winced in pain as her leg both throbbed and began to prickle.
"We were devastated to hear the news of your husband and uncle's death. I know that this is a delicate subject and that your emotions must be raw with grief, but would you like us to make any sort of arrangements?" Lord Loa spoke softly and broached the subject as delicately as any ambassador could. He watched his niece's eyes widen and her hand begin to clutch at her stomach as she shifted from gratitude to shock. What the lord could not see was his daughter's blind eyes narrowing and her head tilting in suspicion.
"Their bodies were lost to the lake during our escape." Kitsu grit her teeth as she spoke and her voice came out strangled. She fought desperately to control her emotions but traitorous tears welled in her eyes.
"We will arrange for your period of mourning." Lady Poppy interjected in an attempt to reassure Kitsu. She could recognize the anguish on her face as plain as day. "And have memorials placed in the family mausoleum for them."
"No!" Kitsu burst out, hot tears falling in rivulets down her face and leaving dark splotches where they fell upon her silk gown. "I-... May I be excused?" She did not wait for a response before standing. In her panic she overestimated herself and cried out as her leg gave way beneath her. Lady Poppy stood from her seat but could not possibly reach Kitsu in time. She hit the wooden floor with a loud smack and a pitiful sob. Silently she sat up, face red and pinched with shame. Ai rushed through the doorway and waved off concerned servants who had gathered to help before bowing to the lord and lady.
"My lady is exhausted and grief stricken." Ai explained as she gazed at the floor in deference. "Please allow me to escort her to her chambers so that she may recover." Although her hands were folded neatly and she seemed like a picture of service, she shook with worry for Kitsu.
"Yes. Of course." Lord Loa nodded and waved his hand. "See to her needs. You may ask the servants for anything she requires.:
Ai dropped to her knees next to Kitsu and pulled the older woman's arm over her own shoulder. As quickly as she could she hoisted Kitsu off of the floor and helped her limp out of the tea room. The noble couple watched their niece depart as their daughter sat quietly by, wondering why her cousin had told such a blatant lie.
Once they were out of earshot Ai paused in the corridor and wiped at Kitsu's tear stained face.
"It's okay." Ai cooed. Kitsu simply pinched her eyes shut and pulled her face away.
"No." Was all Kitsu managed to say before another tidal wave of grief threatened to drown her. Ai shook her head but did not argue. She could not bear to see Kitsu in so much pain. Without another word she guided the sobbing girl to her chambers.