Disclaimer: I do not own ATLA or any of its cannon characters. I claim only my Oc's.
Alright this is my biggest chapter yet. This is dedicated to anybody who made it through 24 chapters of slow burn to get here. I hope you guys enjoy it! Please, please, pleaaassseee let me know what you think and leave a review. I've cranked out over 25k words in less than a week for this fic and I'd love to hear your feedback!
Zuko spent days trying to work out a plan. Every idea felt like a fools errand. Arranging to bump into her in public wouldn't work. Aside from her late night trip to Earth Rumble Four she never left the Bei Fong estate. And he didn't want to ambush her that way anyway. That meant he had to go to her, but he couldn't just appear in her garden late at night and tap on the window. If he did that it would be entirely his fault if she threw a boulder at him thinking he was an intruder.
Iroh sipped his tea as he watched Zuko brood in the corner of their apartment.
"Is tonight the night?" Iroh had been asking the same question for days.
"I still don't know how to approach her!" Zuko threw up his hands and leaned back against the wall. "It's not like I can just knock on the front door of the Bei Fong estate and ask for her!"
"You could leave her a note." Iroh suggested calmly. Zuko scoffed, but stopped himself as he began to really think about it.
"What kind of note?"
"Let her know you are here in the city and that you would like to speak with her." Iroh would spell it out for the boy if he had to.
"What if she doesn't want to talk to me?" Zuko grabbed a hank of his own hair and tried not to dwell too long on that outcome.
"Tell her some way to signal her desires to you. If she does not wish to speak with you, then you must respect her wishes. If she signals a positive response, then you must go to her and tell her how you truly feel." Iroh stroked his beard and smiled. He felt like one day someone would write a great romance inspired by this very tale, but it was yet to be decided whether or not it was a comedy or a tragedy.
Anxiety curled up in Zuko's stomach and made itself at home. He couldn't afford to wait much longer. It had already been days and every day he delayed was a day that some other man could wheedle his way into Kitsu's heart.
"I need paper."
Kitsu stood in a private parlor with several books balanced carefully atop her head. Her back was aching from the ramrod straight posture Master Tong demanded. The books made the pins in her hair dig into her scalp and the layers of skirts she wore were making her overheat.
"Read it again." Master Tong hissed as he pointed with his cane at a historical mandate that he'd pinned to the wall.
"By the unquestionable decree of our magnanimous King Zhong, the first of his name-" A sharp wrap of Master Tong's cane on her knuckles made Kitsu yelp and nearly unbalance the load of books upon her head. Her neck was screaming from the weight and she wanted more than anything to break Master Tong's cane over her knee.
"Do not wring your hands like some nervous peasant. You are a lady of the highest order, surpassed only by royalty. Ladies do not fidget squeamishly!" Master Tong scowled and thumped his cane against the decree once more. "Your voice must be clear and gentle like a breeze drifting through the branches of a forrest. Do not rush your words. Those who listen will wait to hear what you have to say. Now begin again and focus this time, Lady Kitsune."
Kitsu fought the hateful scowl that wanted to conquer her features but she wrestled her face into a placid mask of apathy. She wouldn't give the old bastard the pleasure of knowing he had rattled her. A long slow inhale steadied her and she regained the formal posture Master Tong expected from her.
"By the unquestionable decree of our magnanimous King Zhong, the first of his name~" Kitsu enunciated every word, focusing viciously on keeping her hands perfectly still in a clasped position in front of her stomach. "Qin Bei Fong and his subsequent descendants will be awarded with the title of Lord and Lady respectively."
Master Tong's cane flicked under Kitsu's chin, tapping it to remind her to stand taller. Kitsu straightened her spine and raised her chin until she felt like a strutting bird. "Land and assets deemed fitting by King Zhong will be given as a most generous award for Qin Bei Fong's distinguished and unwavering service to his majesty during times of strife and upheaval." As she reached the end of the decree her eyes slid to Master Tong's judgmental scowl. He studied her, clearly searching for any fault in her presentation.
"That was sufficient." It was hardly an accolade but Kitsu knew it meant she'd met his expectations this time. "You may leave the books on my desk. I expect you to read your assigned chapters by tomorrow morning."
Kitsu reached up and removed the heavy books from her head with a sigh of relief. She carried the books to Master Tongs desk and set them down with a heavy thud. "Yes, Master Tong." Kitsu wanted venom to drip from her tongue as she said his name but she knew all to well he could change his mind and decide to continue her lesson if she was insolent.
"I expect you to be punctual tomorrow."
"I understand." Kitsu collected her scrolls from the table that had become her study desk and rushed to the door with a half hearted bow.
"Ah, ah, ah!" Master tong thumped his cane against the wooden floor. "Do it again."
Kitsu could have spat fire in that moment. She turned slowly and scowled at the floor as she bowed low to her tutor. Slowly rising she presented master Tong with a fake smile plastered across her face.
"I may make a lady out of you yet." Master Tong muttered as he shuffled towards his desk. "Run along." A knobby hand waved her dismissal and Kitsu slunk out the door.
As soon as she was in the hallway her face darkened in anger. How on earth had her mother not killed that spiteful old bat?
Kitsu hurried towards her chambers, stomping her frustration into the wooden floor as she went. At least she would get to have her lesson with Master Xiang and work out some of her anger.
Kitsu's lungs were burning as she stood on the training ground and stared Shao down.
"Come on, Lady Kitsune! Hit me already!" Shao taunted as he too panted for air. He was shirtless and sweating as he poised himself to dodge her next volley.
"Brute force means nothing if you can't hit your target!" Master Xiang yelled from the sideline. The sun was beginning to dip below the outer walls of the training ground. They'd been doing the same exercise for over an hour and she still hadn't managed to pelt the smirk off of Shao's face.
Kitsu flicked her eyes towards Master Xiang and wiped sweat from her brow. For the split second she was distracted Shao took advantage and kicked a boulder right at her. Kitsu felt the vibrations of his attack rumble through her feet and managed to tumble out of the way just in time. The boulder crashed into the ground exactly where she had been and shattered into a million pieces. She smacked her knees against the stone but managed to scramble into form and throw two punches that sent stone spikes hurtling towards Shao.
Shao surged forward, leapt up and punched the stone shards out of the air as if they were nothing. Kitsu's eyes honed in on Shao's feet as he came down, without even thinking she kicked the ground hard and made the ground beneath Shao's feet crumble.
A look of shock crossed his face as Shao stumbled and hit the ground hard. He tumbled and tried to scramble to his feet but was knocked flat by a cantaloupe sized boulder that caught him squarely in the ribs.
"Yes!" Kitsu screamed as she punched the air in victory and watched as Shao let out a defeated groan.
"Walk it off Shao, it could be worse." Master Xiang stood up from his perch on the stone slab and made his way over to Kitsu with a stern but proud look on his face.
Shao pulled himself up to his feet and examined the dark red spot blooming on his ribs. "Damn you got me good." He grumbled, but the ghost of a smile still crept onto his lips.
"Alright, little lady. Tell me what you did right." Master Xiang crossed his arms and raised a bushy brow at Kitsu in a way that was becoming familiar to her. Kitsu put her hands on her hips and thought for a moment as she sucked in some much needed air. She was sore everywhere and was sporting a few bruises of her own.
"I anticipated where Shao was going to be next, and tripped him up?" Kitsu looked up at Master Xiang who bobbed his head.
"And what else."
"I just... felt it. I didn't hesitate, or even think about it. I just went for it when I felt it." Kitsu watched as Shao made his way over to the huddle and grinned at her with a sly look in his eye. Despite herself she felt a grin spread across her lips.
"Think you're going to live, Shao?" Kitsu teased light heartedly. Throughout her training sessions she had slowly come to like Shao. He was always smiling and wouldn't hold back when they sparred. An odd sort of camaraderie was forming between them and she found that he didn't always irk her.
"I'll be fine." Shao rolled his shoulder and tried to pretend like the pain in his ribs was nothing but winced despite himself.
"That's what you need to focus on." Xiang interrupted the banter and returned the conversation to the task at hand. "You come into the training ground every day with too much clouding your focus. You need to center yourself. When you listen to the stone and react without hesitation you move like a striking viper. Without that focus you are just tossing boulders around like a child throws toys."
Kitsu grimaced, but nodded her understanding. Master Xiang didn't pull his punches when he was critiquing her bending and she took his words to heart.
"It's hard." Kitsu rubbed the back of her neck and looked at the ground. "Master Tong always works me up right before I come for training and it's difficult to really focus when I'm so angry."
Shao snorted and looked at Kitsu incredulously. "What could that old fart possibly do to piss you off like that?"
"You have no idea." Kitsu huffed and crossed her arms.
"You need to master your emotions, Lady Kitsune. The enemy won't give you time to meditate when you're in the heat of battle. If you can't learn to control your anger it will only get in your way and put you in danger. Shao doesn't hold back, but he isn't trying to kill you. An enemy won't hesitate to take advantage of even the slightest weakness." Xiang's gruff voice drove home the gravity of what he was saying.
Flashes of a memory surfaced in Kitsu's mind. The blurry image of a furious girl kicking blue fire and driving attack after vicious attack at her made Kitsu's stomach turn. She couldn't place who the girl was, but she knew she needed to be afraid of her.
"I understand." Kitsu nodded and gripped the braid that hung over her left shoulder. Shao noticed her gaze going distant, as if she wasn't standing there with them, but was somewhere far away instead.
"That's enough training for today. Tomorrow will be a day of rest, for your body and your mind. Take that time to think about how you're going to manage your emotions." Master Xiang put a large hand on Kitsu's shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. "You did well today. But I expect you to do even better when we train again two days from now."
Kitsu nodded and gave a lopsided smile to her teacher. She pressed her knuckles together and bowed respectfully to Master Xiang before walking between the two men and retrieving her silk slippers.
"Hey, wait up!" Shao called as he jogged after her and Kitsu looked over her shoulder at him. "Can I walk with you?" His hand cradled his ribs as he caught up with her and it made Kitsu smirk just a little bit. He had asked for that hit after all.
Kitsu raised a curious brow at him and shrugged. "Sure I don't see why not." Shao opened the outer wall of the training ground for her and allowed her to exit ahead of him.
"I wanted to ask you something actually." Shao rubbed the back of his head and tousled his dark brown hair. Kitsu kept up her pace as she walked back towards the palace. An awkward feeling creeping up her spine kept her from looking at him.
"So ask it." Kitsu risked a glance to her right and caught Shao struggling to find his words.
"I wanted to know if you might like to go somewhere with me sometime?"
"We meet for training almost every day." Kitsu couldn't understand what he was getting at.
"Yeah.. we do... but tomorrow we have a day off and I just thought maybe you'd like to see some more of the city. I'm a guard for your family after all and I could show you around the sights." Shao's usually confident tone was replaced by a type of anxiousness that was unfamiliar to Kitsu. With a sinking feeling she began to catch on to something she'd been ignoring since she met him.
Kitsu stopped in the middle of the entrance and turned to look at him full on. "Are you trying to ask me on a date?" The disbelief in her voice made Shao take a cautious step backwards and clasp his hands behind his back instinctively.
"Well not exactly. I just... I know you're cooped up in here. I thought I could help you stretch your legs a bit and learn more about your new home." Shao cringed as he heard himself. This was not the way he'd hoped this would go in his head.
All Kitsu heard was not exactly, which was certainly not a no. She'd completely missed the signs that he was attracted to her and she felt like an idiot for not spotting it sooner.
Kitsu frowned and put her hand to her brow. "I'm not... ready for that, Shao. You're really nice and I enjoy training with you but... I'm still grieving." It wasn't a lie. Even if she didn't have a dead husband she was still too wrapped up in her feeling for Zuko to even think about another guy. It wouldn't be fair to her or Shao.
"Of course." Shao nodded as he visibly deflated. "I completely understand. It was inappropriate of me to ask."
"No...no. Just... give me some time." Kitsu looked at the ground and hugged her arms around herself. "It's just... still fresh. I'm not promising anything, but I also know I'm not ready." She couldn't keep herself closed off forever. Shao was nice enough, and handsome. Maybe once she had time to let go she could learn to see him differently, but for now he was no more than a newly made friend.
Shao's eyes lit up a bit and he nodded. "Okay, Kitsu... See you in two days?"
"Yeah. I'll see you then." Kitsu gave him a half hearted smile before turning and walking quickly away.
The hallway seemed a thousand miles long as she hurried to put distance between herself and the awkward conversation she'd just had.
When Kitsu made it back to her room she slipped inside and locked the door behind her. With a heavy sigh she rubbed her face with her hands and looked into the full length mirror that stood next to her wardrobe.
Even to herself she looked completely exhausted. "I was not fucking ready for that." Kitsu groaned as she began the painstaking process of undoing her hair. The tiny braids and intricate twists the maids insisted on putting in her hair were messy from exertion and her scalp was screaming to be freed.
Kitsu ambled towards her bed as she undid her hair, grumbling to herself as she went. "Three years without a drop of interest from men and now I get asked out?" She let out a frustrated growl as the last braid came loose and aggressively rubbed her scalp with her fingertips. Sweet relief spread over her scalp and she closed her eyes for a long moment.
All Kitsu wanted to do was curl up on her bed and sleep for the next three centuries. Every part of her was sore and her mind was spilling over with too many thoughts. She picked up the scrolls that Master Tong insisted she read and threw them on the floor. As Kitsu reached out to pull back the covers she noticed a scrap of paper resting near her pillow. She nearly threw it on the floor without giving it a single thought but the beautiful handwriting she saw on it caused her to pause and examine it further.
Kitsu,
Please give me another chance to apologize.
Every day without you has been torture.
If you are willing, leave my shirt on the
bench in your garden tomorrow night.
If you don't I will never bother you again.
-Z
Kitsu read the note once, twice, three times. Her hands began to shake before she even fully made sense of what she was reading. Zuko was in the city, he wanted to see her, to apologize. Kitsu sat on her bed and covered her mouth as her heart began to stampede in her chest. She almost felt dizzy she was so shocked. How had he gotten the note into her room? Had he snuck in at some point? One thought shoved to the forefront of her mind. Zuko wasn't gone and he hadn't abandoned her. Even after the way she screamed at him and pushed him away he still wanted to see her. Relief swept over her and she let out a ridiculous laugh.
What was she going to do? Her heart ached to see him, to hear his voice again, but her head was screaming at her to be cautious. Kitsu stood up and began pacing around her room. After a moment she stopped and looked at the note again. Her own words from earlier that drifted through her mind. She could feel the answer in her chest. She wasn't going to hesitate.
Kitsu rushed to her door and slipped through it before hurrying across the hall and knocking on Ai's door. She looked up and down the hallway as she waited for Ai to answer.
The door swung open and Ai smiled at her. "Kitsu! Do you need something?"
"Can I come in?" Kitsu asked in a hushed voice.
Ai nodded and ushered her friend inside before closing her bedroom door gently.
"Is something wrong?" Ai asked a she watched Kitsu fidget uncharacteristically.
"I need you to keep everyone away from me tomorrow." Kitsu took Ai's hands in her own and gazed into her eyes pleadingly.
"O-okay. Are you alright?"
"I'm fine I just... I need time to think. I need to be alone. I don't want anyone to come into my room except you. Can you do that for me?"
"Of course, Kitsu. Has something happened? You can talk to me about it." Ai led Kitsu over to her bed and the girsl sat down together.
Kitsu chewed her lip and pinched her eyes shut. "I wouldn't know where to start." Kitsu swallowed a lump in her throat.
"Just tell me what's bothering you." Ai squeezed Kitsu's hand. "I promise I'll keep anything you say to myself." Kitsu wanted so badly to unleash her concerns, all of the things she had been feeling. After everything they'd been through she knew she could trust Ai.
Kitsu bit down hard on her lip and pinched her eyes shut as she handed Ai the note she'd found on her bed.
Ai's face pinched up as she looked at it and then back to Kitsu. "I'm... I'm so sorry Kitsu, but I can't read." The younger girl admitted. Kitsu blinked dumbly for a moment before gently taking the note back from Ai.
"It's a message from Lee."
"What? He's here in the city? But I thought-"
"I know. I thought he was gone too. I never expected him to come back."
"What does it say?"
"That he wants another chance to apologize... He wants me to leave him a signal if I'm willing to let him."
"What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to see him." The words tumbled off of Kitsu's lips solidifying her decision into stone.
"When?"
"Tomorrow night."
"That's why you want to be alone tomorrow?" Ai watched as Kitsu nodded. She could see tears misting at the corners of her eyes. "Are you going to forgive him?"
"I don't know yet." Kitsu shook her head and looked at the polished stone floor. Zuko had a lot of explaining to do. And what if she did forgive him? What would she tell her family about him?
"I don't know what he did... I just know that the pain he caused... almost broke you." Ai murmured to Kitsu. "I don't want to see you hurting like that again."
"I know." Kitsu nodded and gave a rueful smile to Ai. "But it would hurt even worse if I didn't give him a chance to make things right."
The next day Ai performed her duty diligently. She brought Kitsu her meals and ordered all the maids to keep away from Kitsu's rooms. Luckily Lady Poppy and Lord Lao would be out visiting with other nobles so no excuses needed to be made.
Kitsu spent the day gathering her thoughts. Presently she sat in the tub, combing through her hair. It was nice to be able to let it down instead of having it pinned tightly back. The hot water soothed her muscles as well as her mind and she gazed blankly into the soapy water. So many questions drifted through her mind. What was she going to say to him? The sun was slowly beginning to turn to blush in the sky and she knew that night would be falling soon. All day her heart was pounding away in her chest. Kitsu brought her knuckle to her lips and bit down on it as she imagined Zuko's face. What would she feel when she looked into those molten eyes again?
With a groan Kitsu felt her stomach flip and she stood up from her bath. She grabbed a towel as she climbed out of the tub and wrapped it around herself hastily. Droplets splattered on the polished stone tile as she padded over to her wardrobe. She pulled open its doors and cast her eyes over the dresses inside. For the very first time it sunk in that Zuko really was a prince. Of course she understood who he was and what that meant but the true weight of that information never really sank in until that moment. He would have been raised in a palace, surrounded by wealth and refinement. But now she was the one in the palace. She wasn't a naive girl living alone in the woods anymore. Somewhere along the way she grew into something else.
Her face smoothed into stoic determination as she began shuffling through the dresses that were delivered to her rooms the day before. She was beginning to understand what her aunt meant when she said that a lady's best armor was her beauty. A mint green gown caught her eye and she pulled it down. If nothing else she was going to show Zuko what he was really missing.
A short time later Kitsu stepped into her back garden and gazed at the violet hue of the sky. She held Zuko's shirt tightly in her hands as she walked through the grass to the koi pond. Pulling her skirt to the side she sat on the stone bench and spread Zuko's shirt across her lap. She had no idea how long she was going to have to wait. Once again Kitsu found herself taking deep breaths to steady herself as butterflies rioted in her stomach. Her chest felt tight and she forced herself to look into the pond instead of watching her garden wall desperately for any sign of him. The moments ticked by as she watched the koi fish drift gracefully around the pond. With each passing minute the tension in her belly grew. She felt like she was going to burst into a pile of nerves before he ever got there. Her dress fit her so snugly that it made her feel like it was hard to breathe and she pressed a hand to her stomach to try to settle herself.
An hour passed before Kitsu heard the distinct sound of something landing in the grass behind her. A chill ran up her spine and she bit her lip. She could feel that he was there. Slowly she turned her head to glance into the dark garden just in time to see Zuko step out of the shadows.
Zuko's heartbeat stuttered when he locked eyes with her. She looked like a painting in the dim glow of the moon. He took every last inch of her to memory as he stayed frozen in place. It was as if time had stopped and he barely dared to breathe. Something about her was different. She sat taller, with more pride. It looked as though she were born to be a queen. Loose Black curls tumbled wildly over her shoulder and her tan skin glowed against the milky green gown she was wearing. Her gorgeous eyes were glossy with unshed tears and her luscious pink lips were parted in surprise. It took everything in him not to cross the distance between them and kiss her.
"Zuko-." For the very first time his true name dripped off her lips and he felt like the sun burst open in his chest. He crumbled to his knees and bowed his head in shame. Gripping the grass with his hands was the only way he could feel like he wasn't about to fall off the face of the earth.
"I'm so-so sorry Kitsune." The words spilled from his mouth before he could stop them and once the floodgates were opened he couldn't close them again. "I've never been more sorry for anything in my entire life. I was selfish- so fucking selfish. I should have told you the moment you woke up. I never should have lied to you. Please... please know I never did it to make a fool of you." His shoulders began to tremble as hot tears welled in his eyes. "I know you must hate me. I know that my family has done unforgivable things to you, and that I hurt you in ways I never wanted to." His voice choked in his throat and he coughed as he tried to regain his composure. "I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness. But I love you so fucking much. Every time I close my eyes I see your face. Every waking moment I have been thinking of you. The few blessed weeks I got to spend with you were the happiest days of my miserable life."
Kitsu looked down at Zuko as she trembled like a leaf. Whatever she had imagined, she never envisioned him on his knees and baring his heart to her. The agony in his voice moved her to tears. The prince of the Fire Nation was in pieces before her and she wanted nothing more than to wrap him up in her arms and kiss the tears away... but she resisted.
"Why... Why did you keep up the lie for so long?" Kitsu's voice trembled and she felt tears slipping down her cheeks.
Zuko looked up at her and she could see the agony in his eyes swirling with shame.
"Because I desperately wanted the lie to be true." Zuko's face twisted as if he was in pain. "So many times I wished I was just Lee. That I could just be your husband and never have to disappoint you."
The way Kitsu's harlequin eyes welled with tears made Zuko want to be swallowed up by the earth. Even now she wasn't angry, but he could see the hurt he caused her running down her cheeks in crystal clear rivulets.
Kitsu's breathe caught in her chest and she gripped the stomach of her dress. Her feet moved her towards him as if on their own volition and she sank to the ground in front of him. A furrow formed in her brow as she gazed at him seriously.
"Promise me you'll never lie to me again." The words left her mouth as little more than a whisper.
Zuko felt the dangerous beginnings of hope blooming in his chest. She was so close he could touch her, but he was too afraid to scare her away to dare reach out. "I promise, Kitsune. I won't ever lie to you again."
Kitsune searched his eyes for any iota of deceit but she only saw love in the molten honey depths that stared back at her. Painfully slowly she reached out and cupped his unmarred cheek in her hand. The way he leaned into her touch and pinched his eyes shut made her heart ache. His skin was so warm, and smooth beneath her fingertips.
"I love you too, Zuko." Kitsu couldn't deny the way her heart was thundering in her chest.
Zuko's eyes shot open and he looked at her in shock. The way he focused so unwaveringly on her made warmth rise in Kitsu's chest.
"I missed you so fucking much. I wanted so badly to just stay angry with you- but I couldn't" Kitsu grit her teeth together and shook her head. Zuko held his breath as she spoke. "I don't care who your parents are. I don't care that you're supposed to be the enemy..." Kitsu stroked Zuko's cheek with her thumb. "I wanted you to come back the second I sent you away." Her confession came as a surprise even to herself but she couldn't deny the truth of it. Kitsu could not help but smile as she saw immeasurable relief wash over Zuko's handsome features.
Zuko let out a choked laugh and covered her hand with his own. Her words stroked his damaged soul and coaxed out the breathless joy that made him want to smile like an idiot.
"I forgive you, Zuko." Kitsu leaned in and placed a shy kiss to his temple and before Kitsu could pull away Zuko's strong arms wrapped around her back and pulled her into his embrace. Her heart skipped in her chest as Zuko buried his face in her hair and pressed her against his chest tightly. His heat washed over her and she melted into him. Gently she reached up and toyed with his hair. It was exactly as silky and dark as she remembered it. She drew in a deep breath and almost broke into more tears at the simple fact the she could breathe in his scent again. They stayed like that for a time, but Kitsu's leg began to cramp where she was and the dew on the grass began to soak through her dress.
"Come inside with me." Kitsu whispered gently. Zuko pulled away from her reluctantly and nodded. He stood first and offered Kitsu his hand, helping her to stand slowly.
Kitsu did not let go of his hand once she was standing and briefly smiled back at him before she tugged him along into her room. Zuko couldn't take his eyes off her. He was so nervous that this was a dream and if he blinked he would wake up and she would be gone.
Kitsu released his hand and walked over to her bed before sitting down on it and patting the mattress next to her. Zuko felt a traitorous blush creeping up his neck as he followed her instructions and cautiously settled himself next to her. Not too close, but not too far either. He'd wronged her once by taking too many liberties and he wasn't about to anger her the moment he was back in her good graces.
Kitsu could feel Zuko's hesitance as he tentatively sat down beside her. She reached out and pulled one of his hands into her lap where she cradled it between her own. He visibly relaxed as she traced the lines of his palm.
"Where did you go when you left?" Kitsu had imagined Zuko in so many places far away from her that she was aching to know the truth.
"We went to the woods at first. I didn't have it in me to go much farther than that." Zuko couldn't help but lean into her as she stroked his palm. "I didn't want to come to Ba Sing Se at first... I was too scared to face you after what I did... but my uncle convinced me to come."
Kitsu nodded as she listened to his rich voice. Everything about Zuko was like salve to a burn. "What have you been doing since then?"
"Uncle got us jobs at a tea shop. He makes the tea and I've been waiting tables. We've been working there to get by." Zuko watched Kitsu's face screw up in amusement and found himself smiling at the absurdity of it.
"Thats the last thing I would have expected." Kitsu laughed and shook her head. She couldn't know how musical it sounded to the man that was putty in her hands. "I don't imagine you as a very good waiter."
"I'm not." Zuko admitted bashfully. "It's a lot harder than I ever expected it to be."
"How is your Uncle taking it?"
"He's happier than a sheep-pig in a mud pit." Zuko admitted begrudgingly. "He gets to make and drink tea all day. It's practically heaven for him." Kitsu smiled and tried to imagine Mooshi- no - Iroh happily brewing tea all day. She had to admit that part didn't surprise her
The gentle way they were talking reminded her of their quiet evening on the ferry and she felt her heart flutter. It felt so natural to be this way with Zuko. After all the tears, and pain they settled into each other like a puzzle coming together.
"Has your family been treating you well?" Zuko's question carried a lot of weight, and by the way Kitsu's eyes shifted to the floor he could tell it would earn a complicated answer.
"My family has been amazing." She sighed heavily. "My Aunt Poppy is really kind to me. And my cousin Toph is awesome. I haven't seen much of my Uncle Lao but he seems like a very sweet man." Kitsu tried not to make it obvious that there was more to the story but when she looked back at Zuko and he was staring at her with a look akin to suspicion she knew she'd done a poor job.
"But?" Zuko tilted his head towards her and threaded his fingers through Kitsu's cautiously. Each touch of her skin was made all the more sweet and exhilarating knowing how close he'd come to never touching her again.
"I... I learned some things about myself that are very overwhelming..." Zuko's warm hand gently squeezing her own encouraged her to continue. He didn't know if she would be willing to confide in him, but he was going to offer a listening ear none-the-less.
"My mother was the Matriarch of the family... and as her only child I have inherited that title."
Zuko's face became unreadable as he processed what she told him. "So they have expectations for you." The way Zuko spoke made it clear that he could commiserate with her situation.
"Yes. I've been primmed and preened every day, and I spend all day in lessons with a nasty old man that talks to me like I'm dirt. The only thing I've managed to enjoy is my earth bending lessons." As Kitsu vented her frustrations Zuko was struck by how much her present experience mimicked his upbringing. Minus the murderous sister and a tyrannical father of course.
"They are trying to prepare you to lead the family." He concluded solemnly. The pressures of being groomed for leadership were all to familiar to him.
"Yes." Kitsu let out a frustrated sigh and shook her head. "I'm even inheriting my mother's house. They expect me to run a staff and handle an entire palace household on my own."
"You don't have to do it all by yourself." Zuko murmured as he looked down at their hands.
Kitsu smiled at him but it quickly faded. "There's something else I have to tell you."
Zuko raised one dark brow at her and braced himself. Her tone didn't make it sound like it was anything good.
"I kind of told my family that you died." Kitsu watched as Zuko's face went blank for a moment and then his brows knit together in complete confusion.
"You what?" Kitsu's words were so absurd that he couldn't believe he heard her properly.
"They were expecting me to arrive with my husband and uncle." Kitsu pulled her hand away from Zuko's grasp and frowned. "What else was I supposed to tell them when I showed up by myself and sobbed every time they brought you up!?"
Zuko opened his mouth and closed it again a few times before looking at his lap in defeat. "Oh."
"Yeah, oh." Kitsu grumbled. "My only other option was to tell the truth and I can't imagine that would have ended very well for you."
It dawned on Zuko that even while she was heartbroken and furious she had lied to protect him.
"I'm sorry." He murmured as he held out his hand silently asking her to let him hold hers again.
Kitsu relented immediately and placed her hand in his. "I know." She'd spent too long without his touch already.
"We're going to have to figure out something to tell them." Zuko's eyes drifted to Kitsu's lips as he spoke and then flicked back up to her eyes. In lieu of kissing her he brought her hand to his mouth and ghosted his lips across her knuckles.
It was the mildest touch but Kitsu's breath hitched and goosebumps bloomed on her arm. Zuko paused and looked at Kitsu for any sign that his affections were unwelcome.
"Do you want me to stop?" The last thing he wanted to do was cross the line. The intimacy they shared before was under false pretenses and he was hyper aware that she would set the pace from here on out.
"Please don't." Kitsu shook her head as she murmured her reply. The feeling of his lips on her skin had drawn out the memory of her dream from days before and a blush crept into her cheeks. His amber eyes overwhelmed her and her eyes fell to his lips.
Zuko grinned at her reply and placed tender kisses on each of her knuckles. Kitsu bit her bottom lip as he made even more goosebumps come alive on her skin and a shiver ran through her.
"Are you cold, Princess?" The nickname rolled off Zuko's tongue without even thinking. He had no idea what his words did to Kitsu's insides. The way Kitsu's mouth fell open and she looked like he'd completely stunned her caused him to pause again and look at her closely. She was looking at him the way she'd looked at him on the ferry. Like accelerant on a fire he felt heat flood his veins as he realized that she was aroused. His ego roared in his chest as it became clear that he still had an affect on her.
Kitsu struggled to recover and watched as Zuko's face moved from quizzical to lustful. The way he was looking at her made heat pool between her legs. "Are you going to warm me up, Hotshot?" Where in the hell had that come from?
"How would you like me to do that?" Zuko's eyes darkened as he lowered her hand from his lips and leaned closer to her. He was so close to her that he could feel the heat of her skin but he didn't touch her. Their lips were mere inches apart and he could see the tops of her breasts that peeked out from her gown fall and rise with anxious breaths.
Kitsu's subconsciously rubbed her thighs together to try and control the sensation that was building between them. He wasn't touching her the way he had before, but she could see by the way his eyes wandered that he wanted to.
Kitsu pulled her hand from Zuko's and snaked it behind his neck. She slid her fingers into his silky hair and pulled him into a kiss. Zuko stiffened in surprise for a split second before he tangled his hand in her mess of curls and kissed her back hungrily. Kitsu gasped against his lips as the taste of him filled her mouth and Zuko gave a low groan in response. The sound made Kitsu feel more confident and she slipped her tongue along his lips. Zuko opened his mouth for her and she stroked his tongue with her own. He was the first to pull away and he pressed their foreheads together as they caught their breath.
"Agni, Kitsu." He growled as he looked down at her. Did she have any idea how much she was torturing him? "You're making it hard for me to act like a gentleman." His voice was husky as he spoke and he felt Kitsu shiver again.
"I don't want you to be a gentleman." Kitsu groaned. She didn't care that he wasn't her husband, or that it wasn't proper. Every part of her just wanted him closer, to feel his hands on her and so much more.
Zuko's heart stuttered and he felt his arousal getting out of control. When Kitsu dipped her head and started leaving a trail of kisses along his jaw and down to his neck he felt his resolve crumble. She'd always been so passive with him before, but now there was no question what she wanted from him.
Kitsu felt Zuko pull back and she thought he was going to protest again but instead found herself firmly but gently pushed back onto the bed. Zuko braced his weight on one arm and used his free hand to tip Kitsu's chin up so that he could capture her lips in a passionate kiss. Kitsu let out a moan as Zuko's warm hand trailed down her neck over her breasts to the sash of her gown.
Zuko reveled in the sensation of her soft body pressed against his own and made quick work of the knot that held her gown closed. Kitsu's breath hitched as she felt his hand pull open her dress and grip her bare hip.
Kitsu's hand slipped under Zuko's shirt and she flattened it over his abs. Zuko sucked in a breath and ground his teeth as her hand cautiously explored his stomach. The way she was touching him made his skin come alive. She was so close to his manhood and it hardened in response to her touch.
"Kitsu~." The sound of Zuko moaning her name caused a sensation that was completely new to her. She felt her thighs becoming slick and shuddered. His manhood pressed into her thigh through his pants as proof of how badly he wanted her in return. Zuko was a forbidden fruit that she couldn't possibly resist.
"I really hope this isn't a dream." She murmured the words like a prayer. Zuko's amber eyes locked on Kitsu's as he realized the implications of her words.
"You've dreamed of this?" Nothing could have prepared Zuko for the mess of emotions the mere possibility invoked in him. To go from thinking that she hated him to learning that she loved him and had fantasized about him was too good to be true.
Kitsu blushed bright red and closed her eyes as she nodded. The image of her straddling Zuko's lap and grinding against his erection filled her mind and she swallowed loudly. She could feel how hard he was and it made her core ache with want. She never imagined a man could make her feel like this. She felt his large, rough hand cup her jaw and her eyes fluttered open.
"What did I do in your dream?" The timber of his voice was a devastating mix of curiosity, hunger, and intention. He wanted to know exactly what she dreamed of so that he could do it in excruciating detail.
Kitsu bit her lip and cursed herself for mentioning her dream. The thought of admitting the dirty things she wanted him to do to her was both terrifying and exhilarating.
"Tell me, Princess." Zuko cooed into her ear and felt another delectable shiver run through her. He knew in that moment he wanted to spend the rest of his life learning to worship her.
Kitsu arched her back as his breath tickled her ear and slid her hand further up his stomach to his chest.
The way Zuko purred the word 'princess' was so devilishly sexy. She wanted him to call her that again and again.
"You touched me the way you are now." She whispered after a long moment of building courage "And undressed me."
Zuko trailed his hand from her jaw, down her neck and across her collarbone before sliding her dress down her shoulder.
"And?" His eyes flicked down to her chest as her dress fell away from her breasts. He wanted to know exactly how far her dream went.
"We almost... made love." Kitsu struggled to get the words out. Admitting it out loud made her feel unbearably vulnerable. Zuko's heart was racing in his chest as he imagined Kitsu dreaming of him having his way with her.
"Almost?" Zuko raised a brow and looked into Kitsu's eyes. He could see how nervous she was but the way her fingers were tensing against his stomach betrayed her desire.
"I woke up right before you..." Kitsu's eyes trailed downwards to the place where their bodies met. Zuko was pressed so firmly against her that she could feel exactly how big he was. "w-were inside of me." To hear herself say it out loud was surreal. She wanted him even more now than she had in her dream.
Zuko's control crumbled. By Agni he was a lucky bastard. He rolled onto his back, pulling Kitsu with him so that she straddled his lap.
Kitsu let out a loud moan as she felt herself settle on top of his hard cock with nothing but a layer of fabric between them. Zuko's lips crashed into hers, muffling the sound of her desire. He wrapped one strong arm around her waist and used his free hand to coax her dress completely off of her. The mint green gown fell to the floor in a puddle and Kitsu was left completely naked in his arms.
When Zuko let Kitsu come up for air she pulled at the hem of his shirt and he tugged it over his shoulder's to accommodate her wordless demand. When his hot skin met hers she shivered in delight and rocked her hips against his. Pleasure rushed through her body as she felt him rub against her most intimate place.
"Zuko~!" It felt so right when his name rolled off her tongue.
"Yes, Princess?" Zuko slid his hand between them to the mound of curls at her core and he let out a primal growl when his fingers caressed her slit. She was dripping wet just for him.
"P-please." Kitsu moaned as her knees began to shake. This was already so much better than her dream.
"Tell me what you want." Zuko growled into her ear as she bucked against his hand. He found her clit and began to rub it in a slow circular motion. Kitsu's eyes went wide and her lips parted in a breathy moan as she felt waves of pleasure roll through her body from the way he was touching her.
Kitsu could barely muster up words as he stroked her clit and made her feel like she was going to melt into a puddle of ecstasy. "F-fuck me! Please, Zuko!" She was too overcome with desire to feel any shame as her salacious plea fell from her lips.
"Oh I will, Princess." Zuko purred as he began rub her clit a little faster. "But first you're going to come for me." Zuko was high off the way she was writhing against him and beginning to whimper from his touch. Her juices were slowly coating his fingers and he knew she was getting close.
Kitsu felt an unbearable heat building at her core and her pussy began to tighten. A loud moan erupted from her throat as Zuko slipped one long finger inside of her and began pumping in and out rhythmically. It caused a faint ache inside of her but it was completely overpowered by the pleasure she was experiencing.
Zuko pulled Kitsu into a hungry kiss as she began to ride his finger seeking her release. The little gasps and moans that escaped her lips were making him come undone. He could feel her tightening around his fingers until finally she loudly moaned his name and her pussy began to spasm. The sight of her head thrown back with her wild curls spilling over her naked shoulder was nothing short of breathtaking.
Kitsu felt an explosion of pleasure rock through her body so hard that she saw stars. She had no fucking clue that anything could feel so good. Zuko pumped his finger slowly in and out as she rode out her first orgasm. By the time she finished she was panting for breath and completely flushed. Zuko carefully slid his finger out of her and kissed her tenderly.
"You're so fucking beautiful when you come for me." Zuko wanted to lavish her with all the praises she deserved.
Kitsu blushed a deep red but could not keep a dazed smile from creeping onto her face. "That felt- huff- amazing." She murmured between breaths.
"Good." Zuko could feel her juices soaking into the front of his pants and it was driving him wild with the need to feel her wrap around him. "I'm only going to ask this once..." He paused to make sure she was focused on his words. "Are you certain that you want this? I don't want you to... have any regrets later."
Kitsu wrapped her arms around Zuko's neck and gently nuzzled her nose against his. "I want you inside of me, Zuko." She murmured. As the waves of her orgasm subsided she knew she wanted him even more.
Zuko let out a sigh of relief and kissed her tenderly. He pulled away from her and smiled sheepishly. "I'm going to need to get my pants off then."
Kitsu nodded and swung her right leg over him so that she wound up sitting next to him on the bed. Zuko hastily kicked off his boots before standing up and reaching for the tie to his pants. He was illuminated perfectly by the moonlight spilling in from her bedroom window.
Kitsu watched him mesmerized. Everything about him was gorgeous. The set of his shoulders and the way his arms flexed as he undid the knot that held his pants closed. His messy hair fell into his face as he watched her drink up the sight of him.
Zuko hadn't felt handsome in years, but the way Kitsu was looking at him made him feel downright sexy. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his pants and pulled them down slowly. Kitsu watched as he revealed his rock hard erection and her mouth fell open at the sight of it. She tensed her thighs together as the ache to have him inside of her grew.
Letting his pants fall to the floor he stepped out of them and returned to the bed. He looked into Kitsu's eyes and brushed a strand of hair out of her face.
"This might hurt the first time." He warned her cautiously. "I wan't you to tell me if it hurts too much." As much as he needed her he wanted her first time to be exactly as tender and gentle as she deserved.
Kitsu nodded as she felt a blush rising to her cheeks. Zuko's sweet tone had taken her off guard in the most adorable way. "I know." She reassured him. "I want this... I want you."
Zuko felt a smile spread across his face. Spirits he was a lucky fucking bastard. "Come here, Princess." He held out a hand to Kitsu and watched as she took his hand and crawled towards him across the bed on her knees. Wordlessly he guided her to straddle him so that she could be on top. Kitsu gasped as she felt the head of Zuko's cock brush against her pussy and shuddered in anticipation.
Zuko reached between them and positioned his cock at Kitsu's entrance. He groaned as he felt how warm and wet she was.
Kitsu put her hands on Zuko's shoulders and leaned forward to kiss him deeply. She slowly pressed down with her hips and took the head of his cock inside of her. She felt herself stretching around him and let out a gasp against Zuko's lips. It took everything in him not to buck his hips and plunge his cock deep inside of her. Kitsu willed herself to relax and wriggled her hips slowly until he was hilt deep inside of her.
Zuko let out a groan and pressed his forehead to hers as she took deep breaths. "You're so fucking tight. You feel amazing." He felt her pussy tighten around him as he praised her and nearly lost it.
Kitsu focused on Zuko's face as it scrunched up in a look of ecstasy. She lifted her hips slowly and came back down, feeling lightly less pain this time. He was big and it was taking a moment for her to acclimate to having him inside of her, but the way he was reacting to her movements was getting her hot.
Zuko gripped Kitsu's hips as she began to move a little faster and he threw his head back as he tried to keep himself under control. "Fuck yes, Princess" He panted as he felt her begin to relax and take him deeper and faster.
Kitsu began to feel more and more pleasure each time she plunged his cock deep inside of her and she pulled Zuko closer to her. "Zuko~. I- I want you to fuck me." She whimpered into his ear.
Zuko growled as he began rocking his hips in rhythm with her. Kitsu's mouth formed an 'o' as his cock hit a spot deep inside of her that made her toes curl. He felt her pussy grip around his cock and he began to fuck into her fast. "Fuck yes, Princess just like that." he groaned. The way her full breasts bounced as she took his cock was god damned immaculate.
Kitsu dug her nails into Zuko's shoulder's as the pleasure grew inside of her and she lost all sense of her surroundings. It was as if she and Zuko were the only people that existed in the entire world and all she needed was to have him deeper inside of her. They were both panting and moaning. Zuko was getting so close but he needed her to come for him again before he could let himself have his release.
"H-harder, Zuko!" Kitsu begged as she felt herself coming closer to the edge. Zuko growled as he gave her exactly what she wanted and fucked her deep and hard. " Yes, yes, yes,yes,yes." Kitsu chanted it like a mantra as he railed into her. The sound of her breathless moans was like music to his ears.
Kitsu tumbled over the edge of her orgasm and when she spasmed around Zuko's cock he exploded inside of her, unable to hold out any longer. Zuko slowed his thrusts as they both rode out the after shocks until Kitsu collapsed against his chest in a breathless mess.
Kitsu could feel a sheen of sweat on their bodies and she smiled wildly as she felt Zuko's arms wrap around her.
"Th-that was amazing." She sighed when she had finally caught her breath.
"You were amazing, Princess." Zuko whispered as he pulled her down to lay on top of him. Kitsu smiled so wide her cheeks hurt and snuggled into him.
"I love it when you call me that." She murmured quietly. Zuko grinned into her hair and let out a low chuckle.
"I thought you weren't a princess?" He teased remembering the way she had originaly disliked the nickname.
"I'm your princess." Kitsu looked up at Zuko and found him gazing at her lovingly with an ecstatic grin spread across his face.
"I love you, Kitsune." The way he said it as he cradled her in his arms made Kitsu's heart skip a beat.
"I love you too, Zuko."