Chapter 1
Astarion squinted at the sun. He stared at it until his eyes couldn't take the stinging glare anymore and his mind forced him to look away. He had no idea how he was standing here on this cliffside in the daylight and wasn't burning to a crisp. Maybe it had something to do with whatever those creepy mind flayers put into his eye? He didn't know what the tentacle-heads had planned for him when they captured him, but he didn't think it was a stretch to say it would have been unpleasant.
When the nautiloid was attacked and Astarion was able to escape his pod, he had intended to hide somewhere in the shadows until he could flee into the safety of the night. However, a particularly nasty explosion blew out a wall of the ship and sent Astarion falling from it. His initial panic was not for the lethal speed at which he was hurtling toward the ground, but rather the bright sun that had immediately engulfed him when he was knocked from the nautiloid. He was so distressed about the daylight that he hadn't noticed that something was somehow slowing his fall until after he had gently landed on the cliffside that he was now on. He didn't know what had softened his landing but he had bigger problems than to chase whatever had saved him.
Astarion looked at the sun again. He needed a plan. He needed to find out where he was and if there was anyone that could enlighten him on the tadpole in his head. He didn't know the purpose of the filthy bugger, but if it was what was allowing him to be in the sun, then maybe it wasn't such a bad thing.
Did the Illithids somehow…cure his vampirism? Astarion doubted it. He had died to become the vampire spawn he was now. If he suddenly lost what made him a vampire he assumed he'd just drop dead. That knowledge didn't stop him from running his tongue across the tips of his teeth, however.
No, he thought, when he felt the sharp stab of his canines. Still as sharp as ever.
He saw a nearby puddle of some oily substance covering the ground near a broken cask. He walked over and peered into it, unable to stop a tiny part of him from hoping he'd see his face looking back at him. But instead he only saw a reflection of the sky above him.
He scoffed quietly to himself.
Doesn't matter! I know I look fabulous and that's the important thing!
Astarion finally started looking around to take stock of his surroundings. He did not recognize where he was nor did he recognize the three dead bodies that weren't too far from him. It appeared that they had been killed from the fall from the ship. He spent a brief moment wondering again why he was spared the unsightly end of smashing into the ground and these people weren't. But then he turned his thoughts to more important matters, like how he was going to defend himself against any beasts that were likely roaming around. He had his vampiric abilities, of course. But he didn't want to advertise this. People tended to object to his kind. Violently. So he started digging through the belongings of the deceased to see if they had any weapons he could use.
He found a backpack with a dagger in it, amongst other things. He pulled the blade, dropping the pack to the ground. Astarion swung and stabbed at the air with the dagger to get a feel for it. It was nothing fancy but it would slice through skin just fine. Keeping the blade in hand, he picked up the backpack again and filled it with whatever other useful items he could find during his search.
His eyes again flicked to the sun. Astarion knew he needed to get moving now that he had a few essentials but couldn't tear his gaze away. He still couldn't believe he was standing here, seeing everything bathed in sunlight. The bright colors that were always muted in the light of the moon, the sounds of the daytime animals, the warmth on his skin… It was all so glorious! This little thing that others took for granted was the most wondrous feeling that he had in so, so long.
The sun forced him to turn away again. As Astarion's gaze re-adjusted to the world around him, he heard the faint sound of fighting coming from a distance away. He quietly made his way through the brush toward the commotion. He definitely did not want to draw any attention to himself until he got a look at who was fighting. As he got closer, he could make out what sounded like two different women shouting. He peeked his head over some fallen crates, crossing his fingers he wouldn't be spotted. If someone saw him, he'd either be attacked or looked upon to help, neither of which sounded appealing. Luckily, the women he heard shouting were a good distance away. As were the freaky brains-with-legs they were currently in battle with. Each was far too distracted with the others to spare a glance in his general direction. Astarion raised his head a little more to get a better look.
One woman was stunningly beautiful. She looked to be a half-elf with flawless pale skin and long dark hair plaited down her back. Unfortunately, Astarion wasn't close enough to see much more of her features than that. She was carrying a mace and shield and occasionally muttering a few incantations. Astarion judged her to be a cleric though what deity had her faith, he had no idea.
Astarion shifted his focus to the other woman. His breath caught in his throat as recognition hit him. She was on the ship! He had briefly seen her with a githyanki, of all things, hurrying their way through the halls like they were on a mission. Admittedly, he had only caught a quick glimpse of her, but there was no mistaking it. After all, a human with draconic blood coursing through their veins was a rare sight, indeed. He had seen the light shimmer across the silver scales that marked her face when she ran by his pod. It was the same face that he was currently watching chant spells to hurl ice magic at the brains she was fighting.
The only people he had seen walking free on the nautiloid were mind flayers and those working with them. This woman was clearly one of their thralls. Maybe he could get some answers from her on what in hells had been done to him. But how? Both women were more than capable of defending themselves. He needed to catch them unawares.
The thought had no sooner entered his head when the brief battle ended in the ladies' favor. He could hear the women talking but wasn't close enough to hear what they were saying. The human sorcerer had a wretched expression on her face while she spoke to the dark-haired temptress.
Of course the human is a bitch. She'd have to be to work with those tentacled monsters. Oh, well. It's for the best that she's horrible since I'm likely going to have to hurt her to get some much needed answers.
The human suddenly laughed at something that the cleric had said. The human's laugh was light and carefree and completely changed her facial expression from angry to something that was pleasing to look at. Meanwhile, the cleric looked briefly put off at the sorcerer's sudden laughter but quickly went back to looking indifferent. Whatever it was that she had said to the human, she hadn't meant it to be humorous.
It took a moment for the smile to fade from the woman's face. Once it did, the same pissy expression returned while she looked around then gestured in a direction for the two of them to start traveling.
Hmmm, thought Astarion. Maybe she's just one of those people that have a naturally bitchy expression on their face most of the time. Shame, since she's actually not too bad to look at, otherwise. Not as beautiful as the half-elven cleric, but that is a very high bar, to be fair.
The human's hair was a soft, ashy color. It was styled in a messy bun at the base of her neck with loose tendrils framing her face. Her skin was fair and blended well with the silvery scales that belied her draconic ancestry.
She gave another little laugh at something, lighting up her face again. A brief thought entered Astarion's head that perhaps he had made a snap judgment on the sorcerer. Maybe she wasn't a bitch at all. If so, hurting her won't be as much fun. Though that changed nothing. She was the person that could provide him with the answers he needed. He would do what he must.
The women were heading in his direction. So he quickly and quietly back tracked to where he was when he first heard them. His eyes frantically looked around, looking for something to give him inspiration on how to trap the sorcerer. He spotted a dead brain-creature and a plan formulated in his mind.
He swiftly schooled his face to one of quiet panic right when the pair came around the corner. He motioned them over, making himself portray all the urgency that one should feel if they were scared. Though in truth he was perfectly calm on the inside. He'd played various parts every day for so long that this kind of deception was second (or perhaps first?) nature to him.
The women walked up to him, the human in the lead.
"Hurry!" Astarion shouted. "I've got one of those brain things cornered! There, in the grass."
He pointed past some shrubbery, making the human come closer to take a look. "You can kill it, can't you? Like you did the others? I'm afraid I don't have a weapon on me or I'd take care of it myself."
"Easily," she told him confidently, brandishing her quarterstaff. "Stand back."
Astarion saw that the cleric hung back a little, eyeing him with a small measure of suspicion.
Let her look. She's not the one I'm after and she won't be fast enough to stop me.
"There, can you see it?" he asked the human, adding a hint of desperation to his voice.
As the sorcerer passed him to look for the intellect devourer, he swiftly put one arm around her waist and pulled her back against him. He heard a small gasp escape her lips while he whipped out his dagger and placed it to her throat. She tried to pull away but ended up falling to the ground, taking Astarion with her. He did not loosen his grip on her, however. She tried pulling at his arm to free herself.
"Shhhh," Astarion said softly in her ear, holding her tightly in spite of her struggling. "Not a sound. Not if you want to keep that darling neck of yours." He felt her go still at his words.
He spared the cleric a look when he saw her reaching for her mace.
"And you!" he said forcefully. "Don't try anything if you want your friend here to keep breathing."
"Don't!" the cleric responded harshly. "I need her alive."
Good, he thought. This will be easy, then.
Astarion focused his attention back on the woman he had his arm around. Upon closer inspection, what he thought had been hair the color of ashes was actually a dark hazelnut color with thick streaks of silver shooting through it. Not white, like his own locks, or gray. But brilliant silver that closely matched the scales on her skin.
Lovely. He allowed himself this brief thought before shoving it out of his mind.
"Now, I saw you on the ship, didn't I?" Astarion said, still holding her tightly against him. "Nod."
She didn't answer him. Instead, she softly ran her fingertips across the back of the hand he was holding the dagger with, sending pleasant shivers through him. Before Astarion could wonder at what she was playing at, he saw her fingers glow a soft blue as she quietly whispered a cantrip. He felt a blast of cold follow her fingers, forcing him to relinquish his hold on her at the numbing burn moving up his arm. He leapt to his feet just as she was doing the same.
"Ugh! Why you little..!" he shouted at her while putting some distance between the two of them.
He switched his dagger to his other hand while he tried to shrug off the freezing pain that was coursing through his arm. He watched her hands glow as she prepared herself to cast another spell. The cleric started to make her way behind him to try and gain the advantage. In a different situation, this whole thing would have been loads of fun for him. But in his current circumstance, he couldn't fully appreciate being circled by two pretty women that knew how to fight.
Dammit! I'm dangerously close to losing the upper hand! I can't let that happen!
He positioned himself more favorably and readied his blade to throw at the human. There were a few spots he could hit that would bring her to her knees and unable to continue fighting but not kill her. Once she was down, the cleric would be easy enough, he was sure.
He started to bring his arm back to make the throw when his mind was suddenly and forcefully hit with a wave of intense pressure. At first, he thought it was the sorcerer casting another cantrip. But she seemed to be hit with the same bolt that he was. The cleric quickly ran to her side to try and steady her from falling.
Astarion was suddenly seeing images of the sorcerer in his head.
Through her eyes, he saw her running through the streets of Baldur's Gate, trying to outrun the nautiloid that was flying overhead while others were getting snapped up into the ship. She ran and ran, before finally falling victim herself to whatever was transporting people onboard.
The scene in his mind transitioned to her encased in a pod. He watched as a mind flayer dropped a tadpole on her cheek. He winced inwardly as the little monster crawled into her eye.
The vision changed again to one of her escaping her pod after the attack happened on the nautiloid.
The final images were of her, the cleric, and the gith running to the helm of the ship before getting blasted by a red dragon.
"Ugh!" he said through gritted teeth. "What was that? What's going on?" he asked as the visions faded away.
He clutched at his head and looked at the women in front of him. The images seemed to be leaving the human, as well. He wondered at what she might have seen. Was it his own past like he was made privy to hers? If so, hopefully she only saw his capture and nothing more.
"I think it was the tadpoles," she responded quietly. "I think they…connected…us."
Astarion agreed with her.
"Yes. Yes, that has to be it," he said to himself. He looked back to the human, making eye contact with her for the first time. Her molten silver eyes met his, unwavering and unblinking.
So much silver, shining so brightly under the sun. She truly is more lovely than I initially thought.
Rather than voice this out loud, he said, "You're not with the mind flayers. You were captured, same as me."
Astarion didn't fail to notice that she and the cleric were both still prepared to go on the offensive at the slightest provocation.
Fine. I can play the gentleman. I'll put my weapon away first. That should calm them a little. They might still have answers for me.
He sheathed his dagger.
"And here I was, ready to spill your innards all over the ground. Apologies," he said, giving them a slow smile.
The cleric did not put her weapon away. She continued to eye him with obvious distrust.
The human, however, gave her hands a quick shake, causing the glow to go away.
"Apology accepted," she replied. "Honestly, I might have done the same were the roles reversed. It's been a day full of surprises, not all of them good."
"Indeed," he said, quietly thankful that the human seemed to be the naive type. "My name's Astarion," he said, lifting his chin slightly. "I was in Baldur's Gate when those beasts snatched me."
"As was I," said the sorcerer. "My name is Letya. This is Shadowheart." Letya gestured to the cleric.
"Charmed," he said, allowing his smile to reach his eyes. "So, did you learn anything about these worms while you were wandering the ship?"
Letya took a deep breath before answering. She met his eyes.
"Yes. They'll turn us into mind flayers."
For all of Astarion's practice at performing, he couldn't stop a look of surprise at her news.
"Turn us into –" a laugh without humor erupted from him. Once it subsided, a look of tired, sad acceptance crossed his face. "Of course it will turn me into a monster. What else did I expect?" he asked himself quietly.
He had become a monster nearly two hundred years ago at the hands of his master, Cazador. And now, he finds that he was doomed to become an even worse kind of creature.
No. No! That's not going to happen to me. I won't allow it!
He felt himself calming as he reassured himself.
Letya stepped forward. "We're looking for a healer. Hopefully we'll find someone that can extract the creatures without doing too much damage. Care to join us?"
Astarion's initial reaction was to agree. He most certainly did not want to become one of those tentacled beasts! But feeling the sun on his skin reminded him of what was waiting for him if he lost the tadpole. He didn't know what other benefits came from the tadpole, if any, but being out in the sun was enough. No, extraction was not what he needed. He needed a leash for the little toothy beast.
"You're right," he told her. "We need to find someone. Some kind of expert that can help us control these things."
Letya gave him a quizzical look. "Control it? We need to get rid of it."
Not if I can help it, he thought. But of course she didn't understand. She didn't know his situation. She didn't know what he was. If she did, she wouldn't be asking him if he wanted to join their merry little band. After all, who would suspect a handsome high-elf like himself of being a vampire if they are able to be in the sun? And red eyes weren't completely unheard of. As long as he didn't bare his fangs and didn't let anyone catch him feeding, he should be able to keep his secret.
Astarion pulled on his collar a little to try and hide the bite scars on his neck as he agreed with Letya.
"Well yes, of course. But first things first," he said, with a smirk.
"Great, our odds are better together," she replied. She turned around then bent over to pick up the quarterstaff that she had dropped when he grabbed her earlier.
"You know," he said slowly from behind her. "I was ready to go this alone, but maybe sticking with a herd isn't such a bad idea."
Shadowheart gave a small sound of disgust at him but remained quiet.
Astarion continued. "And anyone that can crash a mind flayer ship and walk away seems like a good person to know." His smirk grew bigger.
Letya gave a small laugh. "Crashing giant Illithid ships happens to be a specialty of mine. That, and 'rescuing' elves from fictitious intellect devourers," she said, shooting him a quick look.
Astarion was surprised to feel a genuine smile appear on his face. "It's my lucky day, then," he said, inclining his head to her slightly. He motioned for her to take the lead. "All right, I accept. Lead on."
Letya walked past, the smile fading from her face as she focused on the path in front of her.
Definitely one of those people with a natural look of apathy when she's not smiling. Such a shame.
Shadowheart was fortunate that her beauty shone through even with her look of complete indifference. Astarion had to admit that she was even more breath-taking up close. She was easily one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen.
Shadowheart caught him eyeing her. She screwed up her nose like she smelled something terrible, her pretty green eyes flashing in annoyance at him before she turned to follow Letya down the path.
Whatever. I'm not looking to make friends. I am safer in a group than on my own. That's all.
The sun drew Astarion's stare once more. He looked for several moments before tearing his gaze away to follow after the others.
"I don't trust him," Shadowheart told Letya as they walked through some more of the nautiloid wreckage.
Letya and Shadowheart looked over their shoulders to see Astarion several yards back, staring into the sky. Shadowheart looked at him with suspicion. Letya, on the other hand, looked at him with barely concealed appreciation. He was unfairly attractive, after all.
Elves always seemed to have something that made them a little more beautiful than the rest of the races. But Astarion was even more handsome than other elves. He had shockingly white hair that curled at the nape of his neck and around his pointed ears. His pale skin seemed to be carved from the smoothest marble. While his expensive clothing hid his physique, Letya could feel how toned he was when he had grabbed her. And his almond-shaped eyes were the most alluring shade of crimson she had ever seen. Though she hadn't heard of high-elves having red eyes before.
Genetics sure can be weird, sometimes, she thought with an inward shrug. But I'm a human with dragon scales on much of my body. Who am I to judge?
Astarion made no indication that he had heard Shadowheart's declaration of distrust. Letya and Shadowheart faced forward again and kept walking.
"Just because I invited him along doesn't mean I trust him," Letya replied. "But he hasn't earned my active distrust, either."
"Truly? So if someone drawing a weapon right upon meeting you isn't enough to earn your 'active distrust,' then what exactly would it take?"
Letya stepped around a mangled fisherman that looked to have been killed by an intellect devourer. She tried not to think too much about the massive loss of life for these people that just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It hurt her heart to think of that fisherman, just going about his daily business, likely expecting this day to be like any other. She instead focused her attention back to Shadowheart and her question.
"It seems he saw me on the ship right before the crash. I can hardly fault him for assuming I was with the mind flayers. And given his assumption, his reaction was completely reasonable."
Shadowheart didn't like that she agreed with Letya.
"Besides," Letya continued. "None of us know each other. Trust will be hard to come by all around."
Shadowheart again looked behind her to see that Astarion had finished his sky-gazing and was catching up to them.
"Letya, you stopped your escape to help me, a complete stranger. I don't know what would've happened to me if you hadn't."
Letya looked at Shadowheart, clearly uncomfortable with Shadowheart's comment.
"You already expressed your gratitude, Shadowheart. It's not necessary to do so again."
"I'm trying to make a point," Shadowheart interjected. "You said trust will be hard to come by. I wanted you to know that you have earned a little from me."
"I-," Letya stopped herself mid-sentence. "...Thank you." She quickly changed the subject back to the matter at hand.
"As for Astarion… look, none of us know what's going on. We're all in the same boat with the same goal. We don't know what we're going to encounter while we look for a healer so I think we could benefit from working together. And I get the feeling that he's a very capable individual."
"Darling, you have no idea," a sultry voice responded.
Letya and Shadowheart jumped a little at Astarion's sudden appearance right behind them.
Astarion smirked at them. Then, as if to help prove how adept he was with a blade, he began tossing and twirling his dagger as they trekked through the last bit of the downed nautiloid.
Shadowheart, none too pleased that Astarion had startled her, scoffed at him. "We'll see. You'll forgive me if I don't take you at your word."
"Judging from everything that has happened so far, and these goblin corpses that we're passing, I think you'll be able to see for yourself soon enough," Astarion told her smugly, tossing his dagger from one hand to the other.
"Fine. Just try not to stab yourself with that blade you keep fondling," Shadowheart told him dismissively.
He artfully spun the dagger between the fingers on one hand. "How naughty of you, Shadowheart. We just met. It's a bit soon for you to be worrying about what I fondle," Astarion admonished her, putting a little lilt on that last word. He swiftly brought his moving blade to a stop. "But no need to worry yourself. I am an expert," he said as he ran two fingers across the flat side of the blade, watching her for a reaction.
She paused briefly to look at him but gave no reaction. She continued walking down the path they were on without saying a word.
Letya followed closely behind Shadowheart. "I'm sure your expertise at fondling came after years of practice by yourself," she told him with a straight-face.
Astarion's eyes widened, stunned at her words. Then a smile slowly formed on his lips.
"Oh, I do so love the cheeky ones," he said with a voice full of smoke.
Letya smiled inwardly in relief. She didn't mean anything by her comment, just as she suspected that Astarion wasn't trying to accomplish anything with his statements beyond provocation. She couldn't help but respond to his baiting and was glad that it didn't seem to make him angry. While unintentional, she sometimes rubbed people the wrong way with her sense of humor or blunt way of speaking. And the way her face always seemed to be scowling when she was lost in thought didn't help matters.
Her brothers, Raihan and Ashyr, understood her and loved her just as she was. But they were in the minority.
Letya felt her anxiety rise as she thought of the two most important people in her life back home in Baldur's Gate. She hoped they were safe. Surely Morven would not follow through with his threats against them given that she was snatched up by the Illithids before she could respond to his ultimatum. Though in truth, she wouldn't put anything past him. He had shown her his many levels of cruelty over the last year. It would be all too easy for him to take his frustration at her disappearance out on the two men that she cared for most.
While her expression showed nothing, on the inside she struggled to bring her breathing under control. She reminded herself that there was nothing she could do for Raihan or Ashyr at the moment. She didn't know where she was so she had no idea how to get back home. But even if she did, she absolutely would not endanger them while she had this tadpole swimming around in her head. She could turn into a mind flayer at any time and with that transformation would come a ravenous hunger for brains. The thought of transforming in front of their eyes, then attacking them so that she could consume them made the bile rise in her throat.
She pushed the images out of her head. Raihan and Ashyr could take care of themselves. She just had to trust in them until she could get back home.
Letya took a deep breath and looked to the sun and sky. She prayed that Morven wouldn't do anything to harm the only bargaining chips he had in his quest for what he wanted.
Author's Notes
Hello, everyone! I have a few important things to say before we go any further:
First and most importantly, I will NOT be posting trigger warnings before any of these chapters. I personally hate seeing them as they are spoilers. I do understand the reason behind using the, however, and used them on my KOTOR 2 fic. But that game was rated T and my fic was M, so I used the trigger warnings as I made my fic more explicit than the game was. But BG3 is rated MA. It covers everything from sex, violence, death, abuse of ALL kinds... so expect this fic to be written along that same vein. But if you still feel you need a heads up on anything that might be graphic, let me know and I will do my best to accommodate you.
This is a story based off of my first playthrough of Baldur's Gate 3. I went into this game with the knowledge I had from Early Access, Act 1 and that was it. I religiously avoided anything that would give me spoilers so the decisions I made in this game were made with zero knowledge of how it would play out and a promise to myself that I would not be save scumming. And I kept that promise. For those of you that don't know what "save scumming" is, it's when you don't like the result of a decision or battle so you reload to try for a different outcome.
With that in mind, this was not a perfect run. I stressed over a lot of decisions that were put before me. There were things I missed and things that happened that broke my heart and tempted me greatly to reload. But I stuck with it and let the cards fall where they may.
Also, chances are that some of what I've written may contradict what is or will later be considered canon. I only have two complete playthroughs under my belt at the time of writing this so I know without any doubt that there is information that I have missed. While I am doing my best for this to be as canon as possible, there is a fair to decent chance that I might miss something. So this is my head canon based off of what I know at this very moment. If there are true contradictions (and not just differences of opinion), just go with it :)
I tried my best to *add* to the story, not *change* the story. I did create a few characters for my MC's backstory and borrowed a few characters in BG3, as well, to flesh out my MC.
AND if you made it this far into the Author's notes, thank you so much! You are greatly appreciated for deigning to listen to my rant!