13 September 1931

Siegfried dressed jubilantly the next morning, refreshed, even though he had barely slept a wink the previous night. Every time he had closed his eyes, all he had seen was her face, all he had felt was her mouth against his and the heat from her body. It was quite an intoxicating feeling, he had discovered, almost as though he had been awakened from a deep sleep that he hadn't even really known he was in.

Of course, his thoughts had strayed to Evelyn on occasion, it would have been unusual for them not to, but instead of feeling as though he had done something wrong, betrayed her in some way, he simply felt…at peace and as though she too would be at peace with the course of action he had taken. He certainly felt no regret at kissing Lily, holding her or telling her how he felt, none at all, and it was that feeling that spurred him downstairs and into the kitchen in time for breakfast.

"Good morning Mrs Hall!" he exclaimed. "And what a fine morning it is!"

She glanced out of the window and then looked back at him. "Well the sun's up, that's something at least. You seem uncommonly cheerful this morning."

"Uncommonly? You mean to suggest that I don't usually greet the day with such bon vivant?"

"No, you don't."

"Well there's a first time for everything I suppose. No sign of Tristan?"

"Not yet, but no doubt 'e'll appear the minute the plates 'it the table." She paused and surveyed him critically. "You enjoyed yourself last night then."

"I did indeed, very much," he replied, pouring himself some tea. "It was a most pleasant evening. A wonderful meal, delicious cake, delightful company…what more could a man ask for on his birthday?"

"Nothing, I suppose," she smiled, turning back to the stove. "I'm assuming Lily made it 'ome all right."

"Yes, I assume so."

"It were nice of 'er to come."

"Yes, it was."

"Even if it were a surprise?" She turned back around to face him. "A big surprise?"

"It was a surprise, yes, but not an unpleasant one."

"No, I gathered that."

He felt his cheeks start to redden, "Whatever could you be referring to, Mrs Hall?"

"You don't 'ave to pretend with me. I've seen the way you look at 'er. I'm 'appy for you, if it's what you want."

"Yes…" he mused, thinking of her again. "I rather think it is…"

"Morning all," Tristan announced, joining them in the kitchen. "Breakfast smells good. I don't know how I'm going to cope at university away from all this good home cooking."

"Well I doubt it will do you any harm," Siegfried pointed out. "Too much of a good thing and all that."

"Well one only has to look at you to know that. I thought I'd accompany you to church this morning."

"Really? It's never interested you before."

"Well seeing as I am leaving this afternoon, I feel it's only right that I pay my respects to the Lord before I go. Not to mention the fact that I'm keen to see how you and Miss Bailey act around each other now that, well, I'm assuming certain words have been exchanged between you." He grinned mischievously and sat down at the table. "You were very coy when you returned from walking her to her van last night."

"Well I hardly think that what may or may not have transpired between us is any of your business."

"Did you kiss her?"

"Tristan…" Mrs Hall warned, setting plates down in front of them both.

"Oh, come on, I think it's only fair that I know given that I was, in fact, the author of the situation that brought you together."

"Something for which I still have not forgiven you," Siegfried pointed out. "Or you Mrs Hall." She gasped. "Yes, I know you were in on it."

"You can hardly hold it against either of us now, not when, well…" Tristan grinned again. "Go on, you must at least be able to tell us if you kissed her or not."

"I…" he paused, trying to think of a suitably deflective answer but, glancing up, couldn't help smile at the look of expectation on both his companion's faces. "Yes, all right. If you must know…I kissed her."

"I knew it!" Tristan exclaimed. "How was it? Did she kiss you back? How many times did you…?"

"I don't think we need 'ear the intimate details," Mrs Hall interrupted, sitting down opposite them. "There are some things better kept private."

"Fine," Tristan sighed, digging into his bacon. "I hope you arranged to see her again."

"Today, in fact," Siegfried replied. "We're going for a walk in the hills."

"How romantic. Alone…in the wilderness…no-one to see what you might get up to…"

"Really Tristan, there are times when you make the limitations of your age so abundantly clear. I'm not quite sure what you assume we'll be getting up to." He concentrated on his plate, knowing full well what his brother was alluding to.

"I could make an educated guess."

"Right, that's enough of that kind of talk," Mrs Hall said. "Eat up or we'll be late for the service."

The breakfast table descended into silence, save from the occasional snort of laughter from Tristan and though he wanted to be angry with his brother, and affronted at the causal way he was depicting what might occur between himself and Lily, he couldn't help smiling at the very prospect. Being alone with her, in the hills, was a very welcoming thought though, of course, being a gentleman, nothing would occur that wasn't completely appropriate between two people at their stage.

By the time breakfast was over, the dishes were cleared and they were making their way to church, Siegfried felt butterflies start to flutter in his stomach at the prospect of seeing Lily again, not that he intended to say or do anything that might alert anyone out with the inner sanctum that anything had occurred between them. He was rewarded almost instantly upon arrival, as she suddenly appeared from around a corner, walking with her father. Upon seeing him, a small, knowing smile started on her face and he couldn't help but return it as they met in the doorway.

"Lily…Mr Bailey," he greeted them.

"Morning Siegfried," she replied carefully.

"It's a lovely day."

"Yes, it is."

There was a brief moment of silence a moment, he would have said, so highly charged that he fancied he could almost see sparks flying. In that moment, he wanted to take her hand, pull her close to him, kiss her, anything that might cause the bodily connection that he was craving, but sense won out and he instead hovered in front of her, hoping that she could take his meaning.

"Well I don't know about you, but I'm going inside," Tom said moving past them. "Lily?"

"Yes, coming," she replied, glancing at him and then back at Siegfried.

"After you," he gestured, allowing her to go first. Once inside, she and her father took one pew and he, Tristan and Mrs Hall another across the aisle and slightly behind, but he was careful to keep Lily in his eyeline if for no other reason than to provide a welcome distraction from the minister's ramblings. He had no idea what Reverend Thwaite was saying, and no wish to know. All he could think about was her, all her could see was her, and even though she couldn't directly see him, there was a slight smile at the corner of her mouth that he could only assume was there because she knew he was watching her. The very thought itself, the almost…illicitness…of it, thrilled him more than he would ever have thought possible. If there had been any doubt in his mind, any at all, that he hadn't done the right thing in telling her how he felt, he knew that it had long been vanquished and he only felt sorrow that it had taken him so long.

"Well that was suitably dreary," Tristan commented when the service concluded, and they were making their way back outside. "I've had a lucky escape up until now."

"Yes, I suppose you have," Siegfried replied, distractedly watching Lily as she stood patiently while Tom spoke to Henry Dinsdale.

"Don't worry," Tristan said, breaking into his thoughts. "I'm not offended."

"Not offended at what?"

"At the fact that you clearly can't wait to get rid of me in order to go and meet with the delightful Lily. I can read you like a book, big brother. Not that I blame you. She is looking quite lovely today."

"Yes, she is and no, I'm not eager to get rid of you as you suggest. But I also don't want you to miss your train and if I'm to take you to the station we really should leave as soon as possible."

"Yes, I suppose so," Tristan sighed. "I will miss this place though."

"You'll be back before long," Siegfried replied, his eyes still on Lily. As though reading his thoughts, she turned slightly and smiled at him again before following her father back along the street to where, presumably, they had left the van. "Well, let's get your things then and be on our way."

Back at Skeldale House there was a sudden flurry of activity as Tristan began remembering items that he had previously forgotten to pack and Mrs Hall ran around the kitchen putting together a quite sumptuous feast for him to eat on the train.

"Now, you behave yourself," she said, pulling him into an embrace as they were about to depart. "Don't go getting into any scrapes."

"As if I would," he replied. "And you keep an eye on my brother, Mrs H."

"Oh, don't you worry about that."

"I don't need either of you keeping an eye on me," Siegfried protested. "I'm a grown man, unlike some."

They rode together to the station in relative silence, Siegfried finding himself consumed with thoughts of Lily and their meeting to come. It was only when he pulled up at the station and helped Tristan out with his luggage that the enormity of the fact that his brother was leaving after so many months hit him, and he felt a sudden profound wave of sadness wash over him.

"So…this is goodbye until Christmas then."

"Yes, I suppose it is. I hope you enjoy your first semester. Do try and concentrate on some work and not just on expanding your social life."

"Whereas my advice to you is quite the opposite," Tristan grinned. "In fact, I am positively instructing you to focus on your social life, in particular…"

"Yes, yes, yes…"

"In particular…securing the affections of Miss Lily Bailey in a permanent way."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Marriage, Siegfried. I'm talking about marriage. You've wasted enough time dancing around her. When I return, I want to see some evidence of permanence, longevity, future…" he cocked his head to one side. "I want to see you as happy, if no more so, than you clearly are right now."

"Marriage. What a thought," he replied with a short laugh, not that the prospect hadn't crossed his mind at least once or twice since the previous evening. After all, what was the point of courtship if it didn't lead to matrimony? "Well, we'll have to see about that."

"Indeed." Tristan paused. "Well, goodbye Siegfried."

"Goodbye Tristan. For what it's worth…I will miss you."

"I doubt I'll miss you. I'll be having far too much fun!" Tristan grinned, before lifting his bags and turning for the gate. "You don't have to wait. I promise I'll get on the train."

"Make sure that you do," Siegfried chided before watching him disappear around the corner and onto the platform. For a moment, he continued to wallow in the melancholy that his younger brother's parting had brought him, then he remembered where he was going that afternoon and who he was going to see and felt his mood lighten almost immediately.

XXXX

It had been an effort to concentrate in church that morning. Not that the minister's sermons usually captivated her in any way, but they had seemed even less significant when, all throughout the service, she had been aware of Siegfried's eyes on her. It was almost telepathic in that she couldn't see him but could feel him. And when she thought about it like that, she couldn't help but recall being in his arms the previous evening, feeling his body against hers. It made her randomly shiver with excitement and her father had looked at her with slight bewilderment on more than one occasion and then queried if she was cold. He had asked her little of how the evening had gone and she had told him as much. In particular, she had not mentioned what had happened when she and Siegfried had been alone, nor what she hoped might happen again that afternoon.

"Going somewhere?" Tom asked when she appeared in the kitchen after lunch dressed for being out in the hills.

"I told you I were going for a walk," she replied, casually filling her bag with provisions. She had elected to take as much as would be necessary for two people but not enough to arouse any great suspicion.

"Aye, you did." He paused. "Cows are needing shifted to the bottom pasture."

"So?"

"Thought you might want to 'elp."

His words brought her up short and she lifted her head and stared at him. "'elp?" He nodded. "Why would you think that?"

"Don't you want to?"

"It's not…it's not that, it's just that you've never asked me to 'elp you before. You've always said it weren't my place."

"Aye…well…" he looked at the floor. "Just figured you might want to 'elp me now is all. Might not be a bad thing, you knowing a bit more about the farm, that is."

"Really?"

"Well, reason states that, when I'm eventually dead and gone, you'll be left 'ere and it wouldn't be a very good start for you to know nowt now, would it?"

Her heart, which had momentarily leapt at the thought of him finally realising she was worth more than simply staying in the kitchen, sank again at his latter words. He was clearly still so sure, so sure, that she was to be an old spinster, left alone in a draughty old farmhouse when he was no longer around. He clearly couldn't comprehend the fact that there could be more for her, especially now when she herself felt there could be.

"I might not be 'ere when you're dead and gone," she replied acerbically, closing up the bag and pulling it onto her shoulders. "I might be somewhere else, far away."

"Oh aye?" he eyed her suspiciously. "And where might that be then?"

"I don't know."

"Skeldale House?"

She paused on his words, at the look in his eyes and though part of her felt that the easiest course of action would be to deny it and tell him he was being ridiculous another part of her couldn't help but feel so very tired at having to pretend. "Maybe." She turned for the door. "I'd better go."

"Lily…"

"What?" She met his gaze again, trying desperately to keep her emotions in check. "What is it, Dad?"

"'e's not for you."

"Really? 'ow the 'ell would you know?" Without waiting for him to respond, she threw open the door and stormed out, letting it slam behind her and not caring if he minded. The sun was still shining but there was a slight breeze in the air, and she was glad that she had decided to put on a jacket. As she trudged down the road towards the field, she felt tears start to form in the corner of her eyes and she willed them away, not wanting Siegfried to see them. "You're supposed to be 'appy," she told herself fiercely. "You can't let 'im see you cry."

As she approached the style that led out of the field and into the hills, she saw him waiting for her and her heart leapt at the sight of him. He was leaning against the gate and, as she approached, a slow smile started to spread across his face, an action she couldn't help but mimic. "You're early," she greeted him. "It's not quite gone two yet."

"Well, I can't really abide tardiness, in myself or others," he replied. As she stepped up and over the style, he held out his hand to help her down. "Not to mention the fact that, well, I was eager to see you again."

"As I was to see you," she replied, pulling back as his slid his arms around her. "Let's walk a bit before we do any of that."

"Something wrong?"

"No…but me dad'll be heading to the lower field and I didn't tell 'im that I was meeting anyone so…"

"I see. He must have his suspicions, surely?"

"I'm sure 'e does," she replied, recalling their conversation. "Not that I care right at this specific moment."

"Well, that's good to hear. Let me carry the bag." They started walking along the track, in companionable silence at first, then Siegfried started talking about saying goodbye to Tristan and how he had found himself actually feeling quite sad at his brother leaving, for reasons he wasn't quite sure he truly understood. As he continued to talk, and they drew further away from the farm, she felt herself start to relax and, once they were around a bend, she paused and glanced back. "Reckon we're far enough away now."

"Thank heavens for that!" He dropped the bag onto the ground and reached for her, pulling her tightly into him, so quickly that she barely had time to draw breath before his mouth was on hers. The kiss was hungry, desperate, and though she had no experience of wanting someone, she knew that she wanted him and that she never wanted the sensation of being in his arms to stop. "I could barely contain myself this morning," he said when they broke apart. "I wanted to kiss you right there in the church."

"That would 'ave raised a few eyebrows."

"I'm not sure I would have cared." His mouth found hers again and she was once more swept up in the intoxication of being held, his hands moving down her back to her bottom and almost inexplicably pulling her pelvis against his. As he did so, she suddenly became aware of something hard pressing against her and she pulled back, her gaze straying downwards. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to…"

She stepped back, feeling a sudden sense of slight panic wash over her. Of course, she knew what went on between men and women. Despite never having experienced it for herself she wasn't so ignorant as to not be aware of its existence and yet she had somehow convinced herself that it was just one more thing in life that she was destined never to know or truly understand. She felt her face flush furiously and when she met his gaze again, he was looking at her with slight curiosity.

"You've never been touched, have you?"

"Touched as in…?"

"As in made love to."

"No," she replied softly. "Never." He moved towards her again and she stepped back further, feeling suddenly fearful, terrified that he might want or demand more from her than at that moment she felt equipped to give. "I…I can't…"

"No!" he exclaimed, stopping dead in his tracks. "No, I wasn't…I wasn't suggesting…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you."

"I'm not frightened. It's just…well…as I said I've never…with any man…" She suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of shame, as though she was somehow lacking for never having experienced a man's intimate touch.

"Lily…" he reached out for her hands and drew her closer to him again, his breath dancing across her face. "You have so much to give. I wish you could see how much…" he kissed her again, more gently this time, then pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tightly. Immediately she felt safe, protected, cared for…feelings that she had never experienced before. "I apologise for getting carried away. I shouldn't have said what I did but…I confess I can't help what I feel for you."

"Siegfried…" she drew back from him. "You said last night that you didn't know what you could offer me…"

"I know what I said but…"

"Please, let me finish. The same goes for me. I don't know what I can offer you. You know the situation with me dad and…and I know that I should just tell 'im that this is 'ow things are going to be and I 'ave tried but…it's not easy, much as I'm sure it wasn't easy for you overcoming 'ow you feel about Evelyn."

He stroked her hair gently. "The last thing I want to do is pressure you in any way. We both... have baggage, in a way. But now that I know how I feel about you, and how I believe you feel about me…I don't want anything to jeopardise what we could have together, what we could be together. To that end, perhaps we should take things very slowly, build our relationship brick by brick. There's no rush for anything, is there?"

"No," she agreed. "I suppose not. Perhaps…perhaps you could come for dinner sometimes and we could go out again. Let me dad get used to the idea, rather than me just taking 'im by surprise. I'm sure, once 'e saw what you were really like…" She tailed off, unsure who she was trying to convince more, Siegfried or herself.

"I think it's a splendid idea," he agreed, "but I want you to promise me two things."

"What two things?"

"One, you'll come and spend time with me at the surgery. I've been thinking about it and that day at Mrs Calvert's, I saw something in you. I'm not entirely sure how to explain it, but I saw in you someone that has the potential to become a very good vet."

"Give over," she laughed. "I might be able to 'elp you out with some things from time to time, simple things, but me? A vet?"

"And why not?"

"I can't afford to go to university for a start, and even if I could, me dad would never allow it and besides…"

"There's more to life than formal qualifications, not that I would ever let Tristan hear me say that."

"Besides…you said yourself that there aren't many women vets."

"A fact I also said was a great pity." He looked at her earnestly. "I could teach you all the things you ever needed to know. Quite apart from the satisfaction that would give me, I would get to spend time with you, which is what I desperately want. What better way is there? Promise me you'll at least think about it?"

"All right," she shook her head, marvelling somewhat at his flight of fancy but being prepared to indulge it. "I promise I'll think about it."

"Splendid!"

"What was the second thing?"

"Ah, well, now that one is more immediate and, possibly, more enjoyable." He smiled at her wickedly. "I want you to promise to let me kiss you, regularly and without question."

She felt herself melt into his arms again, allowing him to pull her close, raising her mouth up to meet his. "Now that I can definitely promise."

They walked the rest of the way up to the top of the hill where she had taken him the first time, then sat together in silence, his arms around her, simply taking in the view. Though her father was still at the back of her mind, Lily couldn't help but feel a sense of peace, and when the time came to head back, she couldn't help but wish that they could just stay up there forever.

"Where did you park?" she asked, as they reached the style again.

"Out on the road. I thought it best not to come into the farmyard. Ah…" he gestured with his head. "I think your father's seen us."

Turning to follow his gaze, she saw Tom standing down in the lower field, his eyes on them. Though she couldn't clearly read his expression, she could imagine that it would be less than pleased. "I suppose 'e 'as," she replied quietly, thinking on her next course of action. Turning back, she smiled at him. "I've 'ad a wonderful time."

"As have I. I suppose this is goodbye for now."

"I suppose it is."

"You'll think about what I said, about coming to the surgery?"

"I promised I would."

"Good," he smiled. "When can I see you again?"

"Lunch? One day this week?"

"I'd like that very much."

"I'll call Skeldale House."

"I look forward to it." She glanced over her shoulder again to where her father was still watching, thinking back to what she had said about not surprising him. But why shouldn't she? Why should she care so much about his feelings when he seemed to care little for hers? Decision made, she stepped closer to Siegfried and kissed him. For a slight moment, he hesitated, then responded by sliding his arms around her and pulling her close to him. When they broke apart, he looked at her with slight confusion. "Won't your father have seen that?"

"Yes," she said. "But right now, I don't care."