She stood at the sitting room door, her body still shaking from the effects of what had just happened. All she could do was look at him, sat by the fire, a glass in his hand. A pathetic figure, someone she now realised she had little respect for. There was no sound save the ticking of the clock in the corner and the crackle of the burning wood.

"'ow could you do that?" she heard herself ask, her voice trembling over the words. "'ow could you do that to me, Dad?"

"It were…it were a mistake…" he replied, his face turned away from her. "I never meant to 'urt you."

"But you did. You did 'urt me, Dad. You grabbed me and threw me against the wall and you…" she broke off, not sure she could continue. "Why? What 'ave I ever done to you except take care of you and…and do everything that you've ever asked of me? Why Dad?" He stayed silent. "Did you 'it Mam?"

"No!" his face flew round, and his gaze meant hers. "I loved your mother and I never laid an 'and on 'er!"

"So, it's just me then? Don't you love me too?"

"Of course I do. You know I do, lass."

"Do I? Then why?" She could feel the tears threatening to come and she willed them away. This wasn't a time for weak feminine emotion. This was a time for her to be strong, to tell him how she really felt, to make a change. "Why are you so upset and angry at the thought of me being 'appy?"

"'appy…" he shook his head as though the suggestion was ludicrous. "Are you 'appy?"

"Yes."

"With 'im?"

"Yes. You said before that 'e wasn't for me. What did you mean by that?" He said nothing. "Dad?"

"I only meant…I only meant that 'e's…and you're…"

"What? 'e's a gentleman with a profession and I'm just a stupid girl who lives on a farm and cooks and cleans for a selfish old man? Is that what you meant? You think that I'm not good enough for 'im? I 'ave to say, that's a strange position to take, is it not? I thought most fathers would think a man not good enough for 'is daughter, not the other way round."

"I don't want you getting 'urt, Lily."

"More than I 'ave been tonight?"

Tom sighed. "'e's trying to make you into something you're not."

"And what's that?"

"Well…you're not a vet, are you? And you never will be. 'e's putting fancy ideas in your 'ead and…"

"So, you think I'm too stupid to learn anything?"

"That's not what I said…"

"No, because you don't think that at all, do you? This 'as got nothing to do with what I've been doing down at Skeldale House, or out at the local farms. This is about you, looking at the life you've got in front of you and realising that I might not be in it in the way I always 'ave been for much longer!"

He met her gaze again. "You said 'e 'asn't asked you to marry 'im."

"Not yet, but 'e will."

"Sure about that, are you?"

She paused on his words, knowing she was as sure as a woman could be without the question being asked. It was obvious in her interactions with Siegfried that there was more to their relationship than friendship, much more, and she knew him well enough to know that he wasn't someone to trifle with a woman's affections with no intention of making a commitment, especially not after how he had tortured himself over his late wife. "Yes, I'm sure."

"Well then."

"Well then, what?" She stepped fully into the sitting room and stood in front of the fire. "You don't want me to marry 'im, do you? Not because you think 'e's too good for me, but because you don't want anything to change."

"And what's wrong with that?!" he exclaimed. "We 'ave a nice life 'ere, Lily, a good life…"

"You mean, you do. You 'ave the run of the place. You do what you want, when you want and I'm just someone who runs along behind you keeping the place clean and tidy, washing your clothes and cooking your meals. That's all you think I'm good for. You've never thought about letting me do anything else."

"If you're talking about working the land…"

"I am!"

"You don't 'ave to! That's what I'm 'ere for! That's my role and being in 'ere is your role."

"That might be 'ow you think Dad, but it's not 'ow I think. Not anymore. You lived through the war. You saw 'ow women rose to the occasion when the menfolk couldn't. If I'd be any age to do it, I could 'ave been in the WRENS or something."

"The WRENS…" he snorted and shook his head. "Bunch of air 'eads."

She shook her head contemptuously. "You really do 'ave a low opinion of women, don't you?"

"Don't you put words in my mouth, lady. That isn't what I said." He sighed. "The world is a frightening place, Lily. I wouldn't be any father at all if I didn't feel better knowing that you were 'ere, under my roof, where I can look after you."

"Look after me?" She couldn't help but laugh at the irony. "What's the difference me being under your roof and me being under Siegfried's roof? I'll tell you what the difference is. It's because if I marry 'im, you'll be left 'ere on your own and you can't stand that thought, isn't that right?" Her head started to ache, and she gently put her hand on the back of it, wincing as she did so, well aware that something had changed so irrevocably in the last hour or so. "Well, you'll 'ave to get used to it, won't you? If you're that desperate for company and 'aving all your chores done, we can 'ire an 'ousekeeper for you."

"And 'ave some stranger in 'ere, looking about and touching my things?"

"Unless you think you could manage to do everything 'ere yourself." He looked away. "No, I didn't think so." With a sigh, she sat down on the couch. "I'm almost twenty-nine years old, Dad. You were long married to Mam by my age. Don't you think I deserve to know some of the 'appiness you 'ad with 'er? Don't you like the idea of 'aving grandchildren?" He looked at her sideways. "And before you say anything, I 'ave never lain with 'im, despite your disgusting suggestion."

His face coloured. "That were the drink."

"Was it? Or was it what you really think of me, of Siegfried? If 'e's the gentleman that you believe 'im to be, do you really think 'e would be so disrespectful?" She sighed heavily. "Things 'ave got to change, Dad, whether you like it or not."

"'ow do you mean?"

"I mean…I'm going to continue to see Siegfried and, if 'e asks me to marry 'im, I'm going to say yes and I'm going to leave 'ere and be with 'im as 'is wife."

"And that's all there is to it?"

"Yes," she paused. "And I'd like to think, if 'e asks your permission to ask me to marry 'im, that you'll give it. Not that I need it."

He said nothing, simply turned his gaze back to the fire before slowly draining the remaining whisky from his glass. She had expected more from him, more of a fight or an argument. Given what had happened earlier, she had almost expected him to react physically and yet he gave no signs of intending to act that way. As they sat in poised silence, she wondered if he might, in fact, give her his blessing.

"Aye well…" he said finally. "I suppose we'll see."

"I suppose we will."

"'e still loves 'is wife, you know. I saw in 'is eyes when 'e were 'ere. Don't kid yourself that you can replace 'er."

His words stung, more than she knew they should, but stung nevertheless. "I don't expect 'im not to love 'is wife."

"And you can be second best, can you? Because that's all you can ever be to a man who's suffered loss like that."

It was something that she still thought about from time to time. Despite Siegfried's protestations to the contrary, there was still a small part of her that wondered if he was comparing her to Evelyn and, if so, whether she would be found wanting. Not that it was something that she wanted to share with her father. She touched the back of her head again. "I'll 'ave to go see Dr Bellamy in the morning, just in case I need a stitch or something."

"Are you going to tell 'im what 'appened?"

She paused again, wondering if he would try to talk her out of it if she said yes. If she did tell the doctor, would he believe her and did she even want people to know that things had become so bad between herself and her father that he had resorted to violence? Folk were already talking about her, why give them more? "No. I'll tell 'im I slipped and fell."

"What about 'im?"

"'im who?"

"Farnon. Are you going to tell 'im?"

The answer to that question was more straightforward, not because she didn't want to tell him, didn't want to share it with him, but because she didn't want him to feel as though he was somehow the cause of it and, despite not believing him to be a man who would do so, didn't want him to confront her father over it. "No," she said instantly. "I'll tell 'im the same story." Getting to her feet, she felt the room sway slightly and the pounding start again in her head. "I'll go and finish making the dinner now, shall I?"

"Aye."

"Right then." Leaving the sitting room, she walked back into the kitchen and lifted her apron, previously discarded on the table. Mechanically, she set about doing the tasks she had intended to do when she first came home and yet, she felt so different now, almost as though what had happened had caused a weight to be lifted from her shoulders.

Things were going to be so different from now on.

XXXX

"Mr Farnon, it's for you."

Siegfried looked up from where he had been reading the newspaper. He had heard the vague ringing of the telephone but had been so absorbed in what he had been doing that he had had no concept of actually seeking to answer it. "Something wrong?"

"No, it's Lily."

"Oh, right." Getting up from the chair, he hurried into the hallway and lifted the discarded receiver. "Hello?"

"It's me."

"Yes, Mrs Hall said. Is everything all right?"

"Yes, everything's fine. I…I just wanted to 'ear your voice, that's all."

Her tone made him pause slightly. It wasn't that he could detect anything was wrong, but there was definitely something different in the way she was speaking. "Well, that's lovely to hear. I always like hearing your voice." He waited, but she said nothing. "Are you sure everything's all right?"

"Yes, everything's fine. I was actually wondering if I could come out with you on your calls tomorrow after all."

"Of course you can. I'd be delighted to have you with me, but I thought you said you needed to be at home?"

"I did, but…well…another day out won't 'urt. 'ave you got a full list?"

"Yes, as usual. The Salters, the Calverts, old Mr Brown…we'll be kept going."

"Perhaps we could 'ave lunch too, as you suggested?"

"Indeed we could. Have a think on where you might like to go."

"I will." She paused. "Siegfried?"

"Yes?"

"I wanted to say…I mean, I think I want to say…no, in fact, I do want to say…"

"Say what?"

"I love you."

It wasn't what he had been expecting her to say and he found himself completely taken aback. He knew the strength of his own feelings and yet there hadn't been a moment where it had seemed natural to express them to her. Perhaps he had almost been afraid to, in case she hadn't felt the same way and yet…part of him also couldn't help but think that he should have been the one to say it first and yet, hearing it from her, gladdened his heart more than he could ever have thought possible.

"I'm sorry…" she broke into his thoughts. "Perhaps I shouldn't 'ave…"

"No," he interrupted her. "No, I'm glad you did, so very glad. I love you too, my darling. I'm only sorry I haven't told you before. I should have, so many times and I promise that I shall from now on, regularly. Are you all right?" he paused suddenly at what he imagined was the sound of her weeping. "Lily?"

"I'm fine," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "I'm just…just 'appy, that's all."

He suddenly felt a desperate need to see her, a need to hold her in his arms and comfort her, whether she be happy or sad or anything else. Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was almost eight o'clock. "Do you want me to come to you?"

"No," she said hurriedly. "No, I'm fine, really I am. I just…like I said I just wanted to 'ear your voice and…and tell you 'ow I felt."

"I'm very glad that you did. I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yes, tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Goodnight darling."

Replacing the receiver, he wandered back into the sitting room where Mrs Hall was putting down the supper tray onto the table. "Everything all right?" she smiled at him in a way that could only lead him to believe that she had overheard some of the conversation.

"Yes, everything's fine. She's going to come out on my rounds with me tomorrow."

"Oh, that'll be nice for both of you."

"Yes, it will," he agreed. "It certainly will."

10 November

"You shall have to be more careful little Lily," Dr Bellamy tutted as he examined the wound on the back of her head. "This could have been a nasty one. How did you say it happened again?"

"I slipped coming in the back door," she lied, glad that he wasn't looking at her face in case her expression gave her deception away. "The step was slippery and before I knew where I was, I was on the ground."

"Did you lose consciousness at all?"

"No."

"Well, that's something at least. I'm sorry," he said as she winced. "I can see how that would hurt. It doesn't look as though it needs stitching though. I would recommend salty water simply to clean it out but otherwise, all you can do is leave it to heal."

"So, I don't need to put a bandage on it or anything like that?"

"No, not unless you want to draw attention to it." He sat back down in front of her. "Your father must have got quite a fright too."

"I suppose 'e did," she replied, looking away.

"Have you experienced any headaches or blurred vision?"

"It 'urt last night after it 'appened, but it's not as bad today."

"Well, that's something. I can prescribe you something in case you do have any pain, but really all I can advise is taking it easy. I would suggest that you go straight home and rest."

"Oh, I can't do that, not today. I'm accompanying Mr Farnon on his calls."

"Ah, yes…" he paused. "I was given to understand that you were doing some work at the surgery. I take it you find it interesting?"

"Very much so." She held her gaze defiantly, almost willing him to say something so that she could retaliate. "I'm learning a lot too."

"Well, that's most admirable. Most admirable indeed. I shall have to remember to ask for you next time I need Monty looked at."

"Monty?"

"Our dog. Mrs Bellamy's pride and joy." He smiled. "Well, unless there's anything else…"

"No, thank you." She rose to her feet and headed for the door, buoyed slightly by his reaction to her revelation. Perhaps people weren't talking about her in the way she imagined. Either that, or he was too polite to say anything remotely unkind to her face, aside from calling her 'little Lily' as usual.

"There you are," Mrs Hall said, opening the door upon her knock. "'e was beginning to think you weren't coming."

"Nothing's wrong, is it?" she asked, stepping inside.

"No, no, just Mr Farnon being Mr Farnon. Two more got added to the list last night. The poor man's in danger of running 'imself ragged."

"I'm not really much help either. 'e probably could better use the time 'e takes explaining things to me. Maybe I should tell 'im that I'll not bother coming this time."

"Maybe you'll do no such thing," Mrs Hall said sternly, gesturing towards the surgery. "If there's anyone can put 'im in a more pleasant mood, it's you."

Lily knocked on the surgery door, opening it when Siegfried barked at her to come in. "Is this a bad time?" she asked, stepping inside. He looked up from the notes he was perusing and though his expression was one of annoyance more than anything else, she noticed it soften slightly upon seeing her. "I'm sorry I'm late."

"You're here now," he said. "It's just that we've got a very busy day ahead of us."

"Mrs Hall said. Maybe I should let you go on your own."

"Why?"

"Because you would be quicker without me there, wouldn't you? You could probably fit more calls in if you didn't 'ave to explain things to me as we went along."

"And let you get out of it? Not a chance."

"Get out of what?"

"Coming out with me. I know you still feel nervous about it but you've done fine on the last few occasions and the only way that you'll become more confident is by doing it." He paused and peered at her. "You look very pale this morning, are you all right?"

"I'm fine," she replied.

"Are you sure?" he came around the examination table to stand in front of her.

"Yes, it's just…" she found her hand straying to her head and though she hadn't intended telling him anything at all, found that under his gaze, she wanted to tell him everything, even if it was the sanitised version. "I was seeing Dr Bellamy, that's why I'm late."

"Nothing's wrong, is it?" he stepped forward, his arms going around her waist. "You're not ill?"

"No, no, it's…"

"Is it your monthly again?"

"No, I 'ad an accident last night, that's all. I slipped and hit me 'ead on the floor." Lowering her head, she gestured to the wound. "I was just letting the doctor take a look at it."

"Good heavens!" he exclaimed, pulling her towards the light at the window to allow himself a better look. "That looks incredibly nasty. How on earth did you manage that?"

"It were slippery and me feet just went from under me."

"What did Dr Bellamy say?"

"To use salt water and to let it 'eal. Not much else 'e could say. I thought it might need stitching but 'e said not."

"No, it's doesn't look deep enough for that…" he examined it carefully. "But when did this happen?"

"Last night, as I said."

"Yes, after we spoke?"

"I…"

"I mean, had it been before, surely you would have told me." He looked at her earnestly and though she hated telling him untruths, she knew she had to remain resolute in keeping her father out of it.

"Yes, it was afterwards. I was just putting some rubbish out when I fell. It's not a big deal. I feel fine now."

"You should have told me!" he exclaimed. "You should have rung me back. I would have come up straightaway."

"There was no need. It was just an accident."

"But still…I'm sorry," he sighed. "I shouldn't have spoken harshly to you when you came in."

"You weren't to know, and it doesn't make any difference in any case."

"Yes, it does. I've been snapping at Mrs Hall all morning. I know I should be grateful for all the work I have, but sometimes it can seem almost insurmountable."

"You're only one man," she said encouragingly, putting her hand on his arm. "You can't be expected to do everything yourself.

"Which is why I need you."

"I'm 'ardly going to 'elp take the load off."

"Not now, perhaps, but in the future." He pulled her to him again. "Just imagine it, the two of us working here together. Well, the three of us, I suppose. I can't forget Tristan, otherwise what has all the aggravation been for? I can see it now. Three Farnons' all under one roof."

She felt butterflies start in her stomach. "I'm…not a Farnon."

"No," he agreed, meeting her gaze. "Not yet at least."

"Not…not yet?"

He kissed her before she could say anything, a long, deep kiss that seemed to convey so much and promise so much more. Her body reacted to him and she pressed herself closer to him, enjoying the sensation of his arms around her. If he were to ask her now, in that moment, she knew without a shadow of a doubt that she would accept.

"Lily…" he breathed when they broke apart. "I want to…"

"Mr Farnon," the surgery door flew open and Mrs Hall appeared, looking harassed. "I'm sorry to interrupt but Mr Brown's been on the phone twice in the last ten minutes. 'e said you were meant to be there 'alf an 'our ago."

"Yes, yes you're quite right, Mrs Hall, so I was." He looked at her again. "Shall we go?"

Lily nodded, not quite sure that she trusted herself to speak. It was happening or, rather, it was going to happen. He was going to ask her. Maybe not right at that moment, but sometime soon. He was going to ask her to be his wife.

Mrs Farnon.

It sounded good.