Chapter 17

The warm breeze brushed against Eleanore's face as she sat on the beach for the first time since the snow started to fall. The air was still cool but significantly warmer than it has been, which meant one thing—spring was coming. And with spring means the beginning of the fishing season, which means more time on the water. She watched the waves crash into the shore, the pages in her journal flapping in the breeze. She closed her eyes and focused on the sound of the ocean, inhaling the familiar smell of ocean air. The image of Gina flashed in front of her consciousness, causing a wide smile to spread across her face. The smile was short-lived when she opened her eyes and remembered the reason she was at the beach that day.

Today sucks. Today utterly sucks. Today is the worst day of the year. I should have stayed in bed this morning. I should have stayed in bed and hid from the world. But when I woke up next to Killian, with his heavy arm around me, his rough hands against my skin, all I wanted to do was get away from him. I hate that my feelings toward him prevent me from feeling comfortable. And yet, here I am. At least I'm at the beach while I write this. I'm in my happy place. Being this close to the water makes today bearable.

Today marks seven years since I washed up on the very shore I'm sitting at right now. Seven years ago today, I lost all memories of my life and had to make new ones. Seven years of confusion and frustration. Seven years of not knowing who I really am. And seven years of not knowing what happened to me to cause this long term amnesia. Doctor Hopper keeps telling me that everything will work out. That when my brain is ready it'll start to remember. That once my fractured brain heals from the trauma, my memories will come back. But I have to say, I'm starting to think that's never going to happen. Sure, I have flashes of memories, and tiny details bleed through while I'm sleeping, but that's not enough. I want to know more. I want to know everything. I want to know who I really am. And I want to know who that woman is that I keep dreaming about! I want to know if she is real, or if she is just a figment of my imagination. I want to know it NOW!

Eleanore threw her journal away from her in anger, causing it to crash into the sand in front of her. She wanted to scream in frustration. She wanted to scream until her throat was raw. She wanted to scream until everything was alright, but she didn't. She crawled over to retrieve her discarded journal when a flicker of light caught her attention. The sun caught the shell on her leather cuff, making it seem like the stones were glowing. She smiled when she saw it, her mind shifting back to Gina, the woman who stole her heart and filled her thoughts twenty four hours a day.

And then there's Gina. Gina, the perfect woman. Gina, the most beautiful and kind and amazing person on this planet. Every moment I spend with Gina is a little slice of heaven on earth. And every moment I'm away from her, my heart hurts with her absence. I miss her so much every moment we are apart. It's like a part of my soul dies when she leaves and is reborn the moment I see her head pop out of the water. She makes me so happy. She makes me feel whole again. She makes me feel things that I have never felt before, and then some. She makes me feel alive. And I miss her so much right now. I miss her arms around me, her lips against mine. I miss the sound of her voice and the smell of the salt water against her skin. I miss the way her breath feels against my neck when she holds me and the way she makes little cooing sounds when she's asleep. I miss the way every part of our bodies fit perfectly, as if we were made to fit together. All I want to do is hold her and hear her voice, because I know if Gina were here, I wouldn't feel like I do right now. I wouldn't feel like crap because seven years have passed and I still don't remember who I am or what happened to me. Because when Gina is around, nothing bad can ever happen.

Eleanore sighed when she saw a small drop of water fall onto the page. Her heart ached, and she knew it wouldn't get any better until she saw Gina again. And there was still three weeks before the next full moon. She closed her journal and tossed it back in her bag before sobbing uncontrollably.

Eleanore was having a bad day. Eleanore was having a very bad day.

The faint chime of her phone in her pocket pulled her from the pity party she was throwing herself, causing her stomach to tie itself in knots for a few seconds while she pulled out her phone, hoping the text wasn't from Killian. She released a sigh of relief when she saw Ruby's name on the screen of her phone.

"Hey, meet me for lunch," the text read, causing a smile across Eleanore's face. She needed her friend more than ever today, even if she didn't tell her why.

"Sounds great. See you soon," Eleanore texted back. She stood up and dug around in her pockets, looking for her headphones when she felt something familiar graze against her fingertips. Something that wasn't there that morning when she got dressed. She smiled when she pulled out the familiar yellow shell as Gina's voice filled her head.

"I miss you so much, Eleanore. I need to see you. Meet me at the grotto whenever you can. I'll be waiting there for you." Eleanore was so relieved to hear Gina's voice, but the sadness she could hear in Gina's words broke her heart. She quickly took off her cuff and swapped the yellow shell she had just found for the purple shell hidden within.

"I miss you too! I'll be there as soon as I can," she whispered over the shell, throwing it into the water as hard as she could. She put in her headphones and headed back toward town, the sound of Elton John singing "Your Song" played in her ears as she made her way to Granny's to meet Ruby for lunch.

"Hey, you okay?" Ruby asked as she sat across from Eleanore at the diner.

"Huh? Yeah I'm fine, why?" Eleanore said, snapping out of her thoughts.

"Well, first off, you're not inhaling those fries like you usually do. And second, you're acting weird. What's up?" Ruby asked.

"Nothing, I'm fine. Haven't been sleeping well, that's all," Eleanore said, her mind still a million miles away.

"Liar," Ruby said, kicking Eleanore lightly in the shin. "Tell me, what's on your mind?"

"Fine. I'm having a bad day, okay?" Eleanore said, nibbling on a fry.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Ruby asked, stealing a fry off Eleanore's plate since she clearly wasn't eating it.

"Well…you could cover for me again…" Eleanore said, a sly smirk reaching across her face.

"Gina? Really? It's not a Gina night," Ruby said, a matching smirk on her face.

"She called me and asked me to meet her." Eleanore blushed. "She said she missed me and needed to see me."

"Now that's adorable. When are you meeting her?"

"She just said to meet her whenever I could."

"What the hell are you doing here with me?!" Ruby yelled, causing a few heads to look in their direction.

"You asked me to lunch," Eleanore answered, confused.

"Yes, but you won't get any nookie after lunch with me. Go see your lady!" Ruby said, lowering her voice to remain inconspicuous.

"I need to figure out something to tell Killian though," Eleanore said.

"Give me your phone," Ruby said, holding her hand out.

"Umm…why? What are you going to do?" Eleanore asked, slowly and cautiously placing her phone in Ruby's hand

"Nothing. You left your phone here after we had lunch, which is why you weren't answering when he eventually calls and texts. When he comes looking for you, I'll tell him we had lunch and you hung around for a while hanging out with me while I worked. Then you said you were going to go for a walk to clear your head, which is when you left your phone here. Come back here when you get back and we'll act like you just realized you left it here and came back to pick it up," Ruby said, accepting Eleanore's phone.

"I love the way your brain works." Eleanore smiled.

"Great. Now get the hell out of here and go see your lady." Ruby smiled.

"Thanks, Ruby!" Eleanore said, grabbing her jacket and bag and rushing out of the diner. She ran directly to their secret cave, not even stopping to remove her shoes when she reached the sand.

She quickly undressed, leaving on only her bathing suit, something she put on under her clothes this morning on a whim. She folded her clothes and stuffed them into her bag, hiding it under the tarp that protects the duffle bag full of blankets she uses to make the cold cave more cozy when Gina comes to visit. Once everything was safely tucked away, she ran out of the cave and directly toward the small abandoned floating dock a few yards away, diving into the cold water as soon as she reached the end. She swam as hard and fast as she could, her muscles protesting slightly in the cold water, eager to reach the secret grotto where she knew Gina would be waiting for her. She took one final deep breath when she reached the rock wall, butterflies flapping around in her stomach, knowing she was moments away from seeing Gina. She dove under the water and quickly swam through the tunnel that led to the grotto, her heart pounding in her chest with anticipation.

As soon as her head broke the surface of the water, she could see Gina's purple tail laying on the rock ledge, her fins swaying slightly. Eleanore smiled at the sight, imagining that Gina's swaying fins was her way of tapping her feet. Eleanore's eyes drifted up Gina's body, landing on her face that was hiding behind her hair. Gina was laying on her stomach, her back rising and falling in sharp movements. It felt like a steel-toed boot kicking her in the stomach when she realized that Gina wasn't taking a nap.

Gina was crying.

"Gina?" she asked as she swam the few feet over to the rock ledge, startling Gina slightly. "Gina? What's the matter? Are you okay?" Eleanore quickly climbed out of the water onto the ledge next to Gina.

"Eleanore…" Gina smiled, sniffling slightly as her eyes met Eleanore's. "You made it."

"Of course I did. I practically ran here," Eleanore said, her voice unchanging. "What's the matter? Are you okay?" she asked again, panic filling her voice as she gently stroked Gina's hair, pushing the damp locks away from her face.

"I'm okay. I'm just…I'm just really sad," Gina explained, fresh tears falling down her face.

"Oh Gina, I'm sorry. What happened?" Eleanore asked, laying next to her, gently rubbing Gina's back softly in an attempt to comfort her.

"I found out today…" Gina started to say, fighting back tears. "I found out today that the Queen…she…she named me her heir today. Which means…when the time comes…I'll become the next Nenriel Queen."

"Gina! That's fantastic news! That must be such a huge honor," Eleanore said, her voice full of enthusiasm.

"There's more…" Gina took a deep breath. "The reason the Queen chose me. It wasn't random," she explained. Eleanore looked at her, waiting for her to finish her story. "The reason the Queen chose me was because…my Melda…she was the Queen's daughter. The Queen chose me because I was going to rule alongside her daughter before she was taken. It seemed like the most natural choice to pass the crown onto me." Tears dripped down her face as she thought about her Melda.

"She was a Princess?" Eleanore asked. Gina nodded, shaking her tears free.

"When our relationship began to become serious and we started talking about having a future together, the royal advisors began to groom me to rule. Since I was not royalty, I had a lot to learn. We stopped when she was taken, since we were all so distraught by her absence. But today, the Queen called for me and told me her plans to appoint me her heir since she has no other children. It just brought back all the memories and emotions of that day and I needed to see you. I needed to see someone who I knew would make me feel better."

"I'm glad you contacted me. I'm always here for you," Eleanore said, wrapping her arm around Gina, pulling herself closer.

"Thank you." Gina smiled. "Today was a hard day to begin with, and this just put me over the edge."

"Today was tough for me too…" Eleanore whispered. Gina perked up slightly. "Tell me why today was so hard for you." Eleanore gently wiped the tears from Gina's face as she spoke.

"Seven years ago today, she was taken from me…" Gina explained, staring deep into Eleanore's eyes, seeing nothing but love in the familiar green eyes staring back at her.

"Do you want to talk about her?" Eleanore asked, running her fingers through Gina's slightly damp hair. Clearly, Gina had been laying there for a long time.

"Are you sure you want to hear about her? It won't make you uncomfortable?" Gina asked.

"Tell me about her," Eleanore answered, smiling at Gina.

"She was my best friend. My best friend in the entire world," Gina said, starting her story as a wide smile spread across her face. "We met when we were just five years old and became instant friends. We grew up together. We were inseparable. And there was never a time when she treated me any differently because she was the Princess, and I was a commoner. She always treated me as an equal. And, if I'm being honest, she treated me like I was her Queen, even when we were kids." Gina smiled at the memories. "She was the only person who genuinely understood me. We both lost our Amils at birth, and we both felt the guilt of being the reason they were gone. That's what drew us together. Even at such a young age we truly understood each other."

"She sounds like a smart kid." Eleanore smiled.

"She was. As we grew up and got closer to maturity, we started talking about the possibility of being together, becoming a couple. In Nenriel culture, because we bond for life, we begin to consider a future mate when we reach maturity around sixteen years old. Since she was a year younger than me, we decided that if we were going to consider a relationship, we would wait until she officially turned sixteen, even though she was always very mature for her age. I spent hours talking to my Tatya and sister, asking for their advice, each giving me the same answer. I was crazy to think she would be with me. Nevertheless, on her sixteenth birthday, I arranged to have counsel with the Queen. Even though it was far from the first time I met the Queen, I was still so nervous I thought I was going to throw up." Gina laughed. "But when the time came, I approached her and asked her if I had her permission to court her daughter. She smiled and rushed over to hug me, saying she couldn't think of a better mate for her daughter. I was so excited I bolted out of the room to find her before I lost my nerve. I swear she was waiting for me." Gina smiled again, remembering the fond memory. "I had an entire speech prepared, but as soon as I saw her, all thoughts flew out of my brain and I just blurted out 'Can I court you?'. She just looked at me with her beautiful green eyes and never said a word. She just swam toward me and kissed me sweetly. That was our first kiss."

"That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard," Eleanore said.

"When we finally separated, she said 'took you long enough'. She said that was the best birthday gift she has ever received," Gina added, chuckling at the beautiful thought. Eleanore stared at Gina, waiting to hear the rest of the story. "We courted for five years, and in that time I started learning the diplomatic side of ruling a Queendom. I guess it was evident that we would definitely be progressing to bonding. Which we did." Gina's face became somber once again. Clearly, she was getting to the sad part.

"We had our wedding ceremony, something that is done within the royal family only. We said our vows to each other and exchanged rings and were led to the chamber that we were to share to begin our bonding ceremony." Gina took a deep breath. "Bonding ceremonies are typically done on the full moon, so the couple can take ground for the first time right after, so they may consummate their union. We braided each other's hair, as the ceremony begins and just as our bonding started…she was taken…right from my arms…" Gina said, tears falling from her face.

"Is she…is she dead?" Eleanore asked, hoping the question didn't hurt Gina even more.

"I…I don't know…" Gina said, sobbing slightly. "I think at this point everyone assumes that she is."

"What do you think?" Eleanore asked.

"I don't know…but, if she is alive…I'm pretty sure she's never coming back…" Gina said.

"I'm so sorry, Gina. Is there anything I can do?" Eleanore asked.

"Just be here with me," Gina said, her voice filled with emotion.

"There's no place in the world I would rather be."

"What about you? Why was today hard for you?" Gina asked after a few moments.

"Oh…" Eleanore stiffened slightly. "Seven years ago today…I was found unconscious on the beach…which means it's been seven years without my memory," Eleanore explained, her mood changing.

"Seven years?" Gina asked, reaching for Eleanore's hand.

"Yeah…seven long years of living without any memory of who I am or where I came from. Or even what happened to cause the severe memory loss," Eleanore said.

"And you haven't remembered anything new?" Gina asked, a hint of hopefulness in her voice.

"Just one thing…a couple months ago…we were…we wanted to have kids…" Eleanore said sadly. "Somewhere out there is a woman who loved me so much that she proposed and wanted to have a family with me." A tear fell from her eye. "But like you, I'm beginning to think she's never coming back either…"

"Eleanore…I'm so sorry…" Gina said.

"Can I ask you something?" Eleanore asked, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Of course," Gina answered.

"Did you and your partner…your Melda…did you two plan on having children as well?" Eleanore asked.

"It was expected that we have at least one child, since she would require an heir. And due to the dangerous nature of having children, it was expected that I have the child…" Gina explained. "But, regardless of the risks and the expectation, we did want to have at least one child. Someone with her eyes and my hair." Gina smiled once again at the sweet memory. "She told me the child had to take after me, because the world needed more of my stunning beauty." Gina chuckled.

"I've never met her, and I already agree with her. You're stunning." Eleanore smiled.

"Shut up, you're stunning." Gina laughed, smacking Eleanore lightly on the shoulder.

"How do you bond with someone?" Eleanore asked, breaking their comfortable silence. "Like, what do you do to create that bond?" Eleanore clarified.

"Well…first there's the hair braiding ceremony…" Gina started to explain. Eleanore nodded in understanding. "Then…well…then we lay together and recite the ancient passage in Elvish and then…well then the magic happens," Gina said, trying to explain as best she could. "When we bind ourselves together, we bind every part of ourselves. Our body and soul. It's as though we become one."

"That's why you take on the other person's tail color?" Eleanore asked, trying to understand.

"Yes, exactly. Everyone's tail color is unique to them, much like a Human's fingerprint, and every couple will create their own unique pattern that appears when they bond together."

"And then you can go on land?" Eleanore asked.

"Yes. Once bonded, the couple can walk on land to consummate."

"So, like…you just go on land and…have sex?" Eleanore asked, her brows furrowed with confusion.

"It's a little more romantic than that." Gina laughed. "The couple usually finds a special place beforehand. Somewhere safe that they can be together. And when the time comes, they take in each other's essence. They take in each other. It seals the bond for life," Gina explained.

"Gina! Why do you let me…your essence…why do you let me…take it in…?" Eleanore said, flustered, as her face turned bright red from embarrassment. "That's a sacred thing for only Nenriel. Why do you let me do it?"

"Because I want you to." Gina smiled, reaching to cup Eleanore's face. "When will you understand how much you mean to me?"

"I guess I'm not used to it," Eleanore said shyly.

"You better get used to it, young lady." Gina smiled, kissing Eleanore sweetly. Their kiss quickly became deeper and more passionate, leaving them both breathless causing Gina to finally pull away.

"It's not fair that you're wearing this," she said, tugging on Eleanore's bathing suit, trapping her bottom lip between her teeth seductively.

"The water is still really cold." Eleanore frowned. "Plus, it keeps your hands from doing naughty things." She winked, prying Gina's lips out from between her teeth.

"You've never complained about the naughty things." Gina winked back, slipping her hand inside Eleanore's bathing suit to pinch one of her nipples.

"Yes, but I can't reciprocate the naughty things," Eleanore added, removing Gina's hand from her breast.

"I don't mind…" Gina said, leaning in to kiss Eleanore's neck in the exact spot she knew would drive the blonde crazy.

"I mind," Eleanore said, moving Gina's face away from her neck. "All or nothing, remember?"

"I remember." Gina smiled.

"But the kissing thing is quite alright." Eleanore smiled, pulling Gina in for another deep kiss. All sad thoughts were instantly forgotten as they spent the rest of the afternoon kissing and holding each other close, until the sun disappeared and became night. "It's getting late, I better get going," Eleanore said, pulling herself away from Gina.

"Yeah, you're right," Gina said, shifting to sit up, her tail and fins hanging over the edge of the landing. "Thank you for coming."

"No need to thank me. Ever," Eleanore said, kissing Gina swiftly. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, very much. Thank you. Are you?"

"I definitely am." Eleanore smiled. "I'll see you soon," Eleanore said, shifting toward the edge, preparing herself to jump into the cold water.

"See you soon." Gina wrapped her arms around Eleanore's waist tightly, holding her close for just a few seconds longer. "Ni mel tye," she whispered as she kissed her neck before resting her chin on her shoulder.

"Still won't tell me?" Eleanore asked, looking over her shoulder at Gina.

"Not yet."

"Then I will continue to wait patiently." Eleanore smiled, kissing Gina one last time before jumping into the cold water. "Are you coming?"

"I think I'll stay here a little longer. I'm not totally ready to return to reality just yet."

"Be careful going home," Eleanore said, reaching for Gina's hand one last time, pressing her lips softly against her knuckles.

"I will." Gina smiled, letting go of Eleanore's hand. They were both delaying the inevitable.

"I have one last question before I go, if that's okay," Eleanore said as she waited for her body to become acclimated to the cold water.

"Of course."

"What was her name? Your Melda?" Eleanore asked, her legs treading water.

"Emma…her name was Emma," Gina said, a small smile spreading across her face.

"Emma…" Eleanore smiled, thinking about the name for a few seconds. "That's a beautiful name."

A/N: Elvish words:

Nenriel: Water Maiden
Amil: Mother
Tatya: Second (as in second or non-biological mother)
Melda: Partner. Literally translates to "Beloved"
Ni mel tye: ?