Author's Notes: Welcome to our second Intermission!
Chapter Warnings: Crowley's doing his best work yet, Adam Milligan the Rabbit of Caerbannog, and Time, unfortunately, bows to no demon.
Actual Chapter Warnings: Several (mild) descriptions of a dead body.
And on that note, enjoy!
The Road So Far (This Time Around)
Season 2: Intermission II
Crowley stood in the shadows of the Milligan household, concealed by their protective shroud, and watched the new, potential Righteous Man as he sobbed over his brutalized mother's body. Ruby had really done a number on the woman. Spared no expense and all that.
So this is what Ruby had been about, coming to him in Hell a century ago, asking questions about what made a Righteous Man. Clever little fox, keeping the secret of a third Winchester all to herself.
More like a real thorn in his side, Crowley bemoaned. Lilith hadn't even told him why he was traveling to the Devil-forsaken town in this Devil-forsaken state. Just that his talents specifically were needed and Ruby would meet him there.
A potential alternative for the Righteous Soul, ready to sell his goods to bring Mommy dearest back, and for no other reason than the world deserved to have her. Ruby had been watching him. According to that little hell-skank, the kid was a real contender; a decent boy with a good heart and a mommy complex. Which, of course, Ruby had spent the last six months exploiting.
Adam Milligan was the closest thing to a replacement Dean Winchester that you could ever expect to get from a half-brother. If he ended up selling his soul for his mother out of self-sacrifice and a noble cause, he could absolutely break the first seal. Even better, he'd likely break well before a trained hunter ever would.
And Crowley had been hand-picked to make the deal.
Bollocks. He should be preening, but instead the demon was stuck dealing with a real speed bump in an otherwise brilliant plan of not helping the Apocalypse right along.
Now he was going to have to improvise. Luckily, the King of the Crossroads was damn good at winging it. All he had to do was offer the kid a deal he'd never take. Then he could go back to headquarters, innocent arms held out in his best, 'I tried' posture, and tell them he did what he could, but the kid just wouldn't bite.
Dean Winchester was going to owe him the best damn blowjob of his life. And Crowley would be collecting.
"Shame, that," the King announced his presence, stepping into the light and watching the little kitten scramble away.
Kitten? Hmm. Seemed more like a skittish little bunny, really. Moose, Squirrel, and… Bunny? No bunny in Rocky and Bullwinkle. No kitten, either, for that matter. He supposed Peachfuzz could be a fit, of a sort; the kid looked like he might not even be able to grow a proper beard even after puberty hit in another… Crowley was going to say six-to-eight years. He had been rather enjoying the animal theme with the brothers….
He might just have to keep workshopping this one and find a proper fit.
"She was quite the looker for a woman of forty-something," Crowley continued his disinterested drawl, coming closer to the mutilated body and tilting his head to take it all in.
The kid spun around fast – must be Daddy's hunting blood – and threw open a kitchen drawer. He had a knife in his hand and had put himself between his mother and the intruder in the blink of an eye. Protecting her even though there was so very little left to protect. Of course, he wielded that blade like someone who had never been in a knife fight in his life, but the kid had balls, Crowley would grant him that. Definitely a Winchester.
The demon raised his hands in a mock offering of peace, taking a gracious step back. "Easy, Bunny FooFoo, I'm here to help."
Apparently, he was going with Bunny. So much for workshopping.
"Help? How?" It wasn't exactly a question as much as it was an accusation. Anger radiated off the boy more than fear or grief.
Definitely a Winchester. Perhaps Moose was the half-brother in this little Brady Bunch rehash, because this one was a dead ringer for Squirrel if he'd ever seen one.
"Who the hell are you?" Adam continued, keeping his eyes trained on Crowley and, despite his inexperienced grip on that knife, everything else spoke of an intention to use it. His gaze broke only once, shifting to his mother and then snapping back to the intruder. "A-are you- Did you-!"
"Wasn't me, Thumper," Crowley answered honestly, switching his palms from upright to outward, the picture of innocence. Well, as much as he could manage while still rightly calling himself a demon. "But I can bring her back."
"You… what?" Adam shook his head, like he hadn't quite heard right. He raised the weapon higher, a physical sign of his waning patience. But his grip was a little less steady. A little less certain.
The King of the Crossroads let his eyes shift red once more, smile spreading across his face. He made sure it was well past the right side of creepy. "I can bring her back, if that's what you want. But… everything comes at a price. The question is, are you willing to pay?"
And here was where Crowley really worked his magic. By the time he was done telling this kid what it would cost to revive mother dearest – on the sly, of course: subtext was everything – of the tortures he would endure in Hell, of the guilt mommy would feel knowing he'd sold his soul to save her… Well, after he heard all that, there was no way the kid was ever going to agree to-
"Yes."
Crowley blinked. He pressed his palm against his ear, giving it a couple hearty taps. "Sorry, kid, must have heard you wrong-"
"I said yes."
The King of the Crossroads stared at the little upstart and tried, really tried, to reign in the flare of immediate, all-encompassing rage.
"You haven't even heard what it's going to cost you, Bun Bun," he tried, using that same raised hand to stop the kid from interrupting him again.
"I don't care," Adam bit out before the demon was even done speaking. "She's my mom. Bring her back."
Crowley took a deep, absolutely not-calming breath, and tried again. He plastered as much of a let's-begin-again smile as he could across his face (which was to say, not very much at all), and decided a different plan of attack was needed.
"I'm not talking small stuff here, kid. I'm going to ask for your soul, and you won't even get the standard ten year contract-"
"Done."
"No, NOT done!" Crowley hollered, finally losing his carefully crafted, endless patience. "Are you insane? At least hear the contract out, you insufferable BRAT, because it's not a good one. I'm going to screw you right over."
"I don't care. Do it."
"Well- You- You bloody well SHOULD, damnit!" The demon tried taking another deep breath, even gestured with his hands to calm the tense discussion back down to workable levels. "Let's think about this a moment, kid. Maybe mull it over until you come to your senses and realize it's bloody crazy. I mean, your soul and one year with your mom is a crap deal-"
"Deal."
"No, NO DEAL. STOP SAYING THAT," Crowley screamed, forgoing any pretense of patience or calm. His fingers were curling into knuckle-aching claws at his sides in a desperate attempt not to pull his own hair out. What the hell was wrong with this damn kid?
"You said you could bring her back," Adam practically growled, raising his knife once more, as if he might make good on that threat when he couldn't even back it with a decent fighting stance. "So bring her back!"
"I also said I'm going to take your soul, you impatient little INGRATE."
The kid didn't even bat a damn eye. Just met his glare with one of his own and snapped out, "And I said do it."
Crowley could only stare. And stare and stare and stare.
"SERIOUSLY?"
And roar.
Adam held out his hands in open challenge. "I'm waiting."
The nerve of this little-
Crowley tried more deep breathing. He tried a lot of it. And then he gave up when his cheeks were bright red and he was certain he was dizzy with rage.
"Fine," he hissed, waving his hand. A contract unfurled from nowhere, spilling to the ground and over the corpse. Crowley all but threw a pen at the boy, who fumbled to catch it without dropping the knife.
Adam knelt without hesitation, not even trying to read the incredibly tiny print of the eight-foot contract. Just signed his name in the messy scrawl of a fifteen-year-old boy and offered the pen back to the King of the Crossroads.
Crowley swiped it with a terrifying growl and disappeared the contract and himself with a flourish.
Fucking Winchesters!
End Intermission II
Author's Notes: Poor Crowley. He gave it his best shot, but nothing beats the hard-headedness of a Winchester.
Peachfuzz - Captain Peachfuzz is a character in Rocky and Bullwinkle, but I like Crowley's animal theme more than the R theme, so we're going with Bunny! (Honestly, kitten might be more fitting but we can't have him giving away Cas's nickname unknowingly! So bunny it will be )
Up Next: So that was our last intermission but I am way, way behind in my writing. Like waaay behind. Damn Muse, only wants to plan Season 3, apparently does not want to write it The planning is a great thing, no complaining there, but the lack of writing means I will be taking a longer break than expected before posting. I'm going to try and resume as soon as I have at least 5 chapters written. I currently have…. Erm…. less than five pages So I can't really provide an ETA for when posting will resume, but I shall do my best to kick that Muse's writing butt into gear
Hang in there, everyone, we'll get going again soon enough!