Author's Note: Oh, man, I so enjoyed writing this chapter. It's actually the first one I wrote to get me back into this story, so I hope you enjoy reading it too! I'll give it an M rating for discussions of sexual content rather than anything physical, but again, I don't think it's anything particularly exlipicit.

Chapter 20 – Do Ya

I'm making a list of things that I miss
Whenever we're far apart

The way that you kiss
The taste of your lips
I'm telling you from the heart

Sam had barely been able to eat over the last twenty-four hours. His stomach had been so wrapped up in nerves that he felt to eat would surely make him throw it up immediately. His mum had noticed and was concerned.

When Sam had returned home following his overnight stay at his stepbrother's, Delia had been half relieved, half furious. Following Elliot's advice, Sam had decided to offer a different, equally as bad excuse for why he had spent the night away from home. "I was having disappointing sex with Janey," didn't seem in his best interests to mention, so he had opted for inebriation. His mum wasn't exactly happy that Sam had supposedly drunk so much at Janey's birthday celebrations that he had passed out and had to be looked after by Elliot for the night, but she was just relieved that he had returned home safely the next day.

He almost thought she wouldn't allow him to so quickly go out with his friends again, but fortunately, she had allowed it.

Whether or not it actually was fortunate though, Sam hadn't decided.

He hadn't spoken to Janey at all since he'd fled her house in the early hours of the morning. And she had made no efforts to reach out to him either. He didn't know whether they were both being stubborn or were both too embarrassed to be the first to reach out.

Sam himself thought he had settled on petty anger. He knew he should have been the first to reach out the following morning—to apologise to her and check on her wellbeing—but he had struggled to build up the confidence to do so. How did one possibly address what had happened between them? And the longer Sam had struggled to initiate conversation with her, the more his fury had built up that she clearly had no intentions of reaching out to him either. Once a significant amount of time had passed, Sam had refused to contact Janey first on principle. Why should he? Would it kill Janey to be the empathetic one for a change?

Sam had been starting to wonder quite how long they would engage in this petty stalemate before either one would crack when Rose had turned up, inviting him to the beach the following day. Sam wondered how much Janey had been involved in it. Was this her way of reaching out to him without talking to him directly? And if so, was Sam relieved or irritated? But Rose had not given anything away if that were the case, posing it as a very casual suggestion that everybody else was on board with.

So now Sam stood waiting, incredibly anxious at the thought of apparating to Sandbanks in just a few minutes to meet them all, Janey presumably included. He had barely eaten, and he had barely slept. Janey was unpredictable at the best of times, but this was entirely unprecedented. He had absolutely no idea how either she or himself would react upon seeing each other again. He expected anger on her behalf, and that only made himself feel outraged too.

Before Sam could dwell on it too much longer, he had disapparated.

"You're late," James chastised once Sam had made his way to the familiar group of people in their usual spot at the beach, but he also looked delighted that he had finally arrived.

Sam's heart was thumping. He was looking, frantically, for Janey, but her petite blonde figure didn't appear to be present. In fact, none of the girls were. "Where are—?"

"Over there." It was Albus who nodded to the group of girls positioned much further down the beach.

Sam was bewildered. "What are they doing?"

"Who knows," James said wistfully. "Janey dragged them away for some kind of girly gossip."

Sam gulped. She wasn't, surely?—he thought in a panic. She wasn't telling them about that night? He stared at her longingly. As though she knew his gaze had just rested on her, she turned her head, and they immediately locked eyes. Even from that distance, she was intimidatingly beautiful.

Sam's stomach dropped, but he almost went to smile at her until he noticed the furious glare she was aiming at him. Oh, she hated him, he realised. She was furious.

For some reason he couldn't quite comprehend, Sam took that moment to whip his shirt off with vigorous confidence so he was clad only in beach attire, still holding her gaze, himself neither smiling nor glaring as she was. What an odd war they were having. Janey revealed no trace of emotion other than the fury she had already been looking at him with. A few seconds later and she had turned her head away to talk to her girls once more. Sam gritted his teeth.

"Well, well, well," James said delightedly, looking, for some inexplicable reason, at Sam's now bare chest in awe.

Sam looked at him sharply, confused. He realised James wasn't checking out his torso, as he had first thought, but rather the base of his throat. He subconsciously reached towards the area, worried he had spilt something down himself at some point.

"What?" Sam asked, warily, noticing that the three other boys present—Albus, Mason, and Scorpius—were also staring.

"Been in a fight?" James asked with a wicked grin.

"What—no?"

"Been attacked by a vampire then?" James suggested, still grinning, and Sam's stomach dropped again as he realised what they were looking at.

He swore under his breath as he gripped at his neck, as though he could somehow wipe away the marks of Janey's intimate enthusiasm. He had been horrified when he'd seen his appearance the day before upon returning from Elliot's, the raw red marks that Janey's damp, eager mouth had left behind. This morning they had slightly faded, but he did rather appear as though someone had throttled him several times over. He hoped to God his mum hadn't caught sight of them.

James reached out a hand to poke at Sam's neck, but he slapped it away

"Yeah, I rather think I recognise that particular vampire's work. Small, blonde, goes by the name of J—"

"Shut up, James," Sam interrupted, still rubbing at his neck in embarrassment. Albus, Scorpius, and Mason had said nothing, but they all had uncontained smirks.

"What? You clearly had a fun little afterparty just the two of you when we all left. Good going."

Sam felt flattered but also embarrassed. If only James knew the rest of it.

"Actually," Sam said awkwardly. "Could I… ask you guys something?" He had strongly debated whether or not he would say anything to them. He craved James' expertise on the subject but also knew he was risking being mocked and gossiped about by all four of them. Even so, with Janey's apparent fury, he wasn't sure what else he could do.

James took that moment to flick a cigarette up from the box he now permanently seemed to have about him. Sam had been there the first time James had, seemingly out of pure boredom, decided he was going to start smoking—after a Gryffindor Quidditch team meeting in the boys' changing room.

Sam had not really thought of tobacco being a thing in the wizarding world before then, but he supposed James' family had Muggle connections too. Even so, it had shocked them all at first, which was hard to do when you were James Potter, but it had since just become a part of him which rarely took Sam by surprise anymore. He did notice, however, that he seemed to almost exclusively do it when the girls weren't around, to the point where he wondered if they even knew of this habit.

Surely Ebony did, but Sam had no idea whether she approved. He had a feeling Rose didn't or she would have outwardly condemned him.

"Go for it," James said with the cigarette now clenched between his teeth. He lit it with his wand, which rather lessened the otherwise rebellious image he had created for himself since becoming a smoker.

Sam felt so anxious about the conversation that he was initiating that he was almost tempted to ask James if he could have one too. He thought maybe he would have if he had not been in front of the others. He felt for sure Scorpius would sneer at him, thinking he was trying to appear cool or else imitate James' image, and that just wasn't worth it. Scorpius already had that irritating edge on them all because he'd gotten a tattoo.

Focusing back on the conversation, Sam folded his arms across his chest, defensive of what he was about to share. "Have you ever…"

All the boys were listening eagerly, deep curiosity etched onto their faces, especially, for some reason, Scorpius. Sam felt sheepish, unsure how to best word what he was asking. He didn't want to be mocked, nor make anybody uncomfortable.

"Made love?" he finished weakly, selecting what he thought was the most delicate way to phrase it.

But he had been wrong.

Albus looked alarmed and blushed deeply. Mason looked surprised but then interested. Scorpius cocked his head like he'd entirely misheard and then furrowed his brow in confusion.

And James, filling Sam with immediate unease, broke out into a wide, knowing smirk. "I have," he said wickedly, as though Sam had asked him personally. "I have, in fact, made love," he went on, and Sam felt sure something witty was about to be said at his expense. "I have also been intimate, copulated, had sex, done it, gotten laid, screwed, shagged—"

And to nobody's enjoyment, he continued to list every creative way in which to describe the act of physical intimacy, counting on his fingers with the cigarette hanging from between his lips, getting more crude as he went on. Until finally, looking mightily pleased with himself, he concluded.

"Don't be an arsehole, James," Sam said, turning bright red.

James looked offended, not by Sam but by the group's lack of mirth at what he'd thought had been a hilarious bit. "It's sex," he scoffed, exhaling a cloud of smoke. "Don't be a prude!"

Mason flashed James a warning look to let him know he was being unnecessarily mean, and to Sam's surprise, he actually backed down. But the smirk was back.

"Why?" James asked, deeply intrigued. "Don't tell me you and little Janey…?"

"Please don't call her 'little' Janey," Sam said quickly, unease filling his stomach. James often had, but given the nature of their conversation, it didn't seem appropriate.

"Alright, I get it," James continued, nodding appreciatively. "She's seventeen now, a young lady, a woman."

Sam just rolled his eyes.

"You know the age of consent's sixteen, right? You didn't have to wait."

"It's not about consent," Sam dismissed, annoyed at James' immature energy.

"Err, I think it absolutely should be about consent," Mason interjected, looking at Sam with distrust.

"No, I didn't mean like that," Sam said, turning bright red once more. "It's nothing to do with… waiting until anyone's a certain age or anything."

"Hell yeah," James said, then frowned when he caught himself.

Sam ignored him and continued. "On her birthday, Janey asked me to… sleep with her." He glared at James before he felt the urge to make comment on his terminology once more.

All the boys looked impressed. Neither Scorpius nor Albus spoke a word though. James couldn't suppress his smirk.

"And I just… I don't really know…" Sam trailed off, unsure what he was actually asking. The way he was phrasing it made it seem like he was asking them for educational tips, not advice.

"Ah, and you want pointers," James said, confirming Sam's doubts.

"No, I just wondered what I should do," Sam rephrased more directly. "Or, I don't know…" He could feel his face burning.

Sam looked away from James, whose continued knowing smirk made him highly uncomfortable. Mason was being the most mature, Albus just looked mortified by the entire topic of conversation, and Scorpius' expression was unreadable. He looked contemplative, and almost, Sam wondered, a little impressed? But maybe he was just being optimistic.

Catching sight of him staring and misunderstanding, Scorpius felt obliged to give an answer. "Uhh, I…"

"Obviously you should do it," James cut across before taking another drag of his cigarette.

"Do whatever you're comfortable with, Sam," Mason contradicted gently.

"Yes, which is getting laid," James scoffed. When he was met once more with a disapproving look from Mason, he held his ground. "What? If she asked for it then that's an incredibly green light. Why on earth wouldn't you?"

"We've only been dating for just over a month," Sam reminded him. "Doesn't it seem a little quick?" He looked to the others, desperate for an opinion that wasn't from James, who was clearly going to be incredibly unhelpful.

"Don't ask the virgins," James said arrogantly, and Sam wished he hadn't initiated the conversation at all. When they all looked offended, James just scoffed again. He went through the motions of dropping his cigarette and stamping it out on the sand only to use his wand to vanish it (to who knows where). "Am I wrong?" he goaded.

"You shouldn't just… assume," Albus said bitterly.

"Oh, please, have you even kissed a girl yet, little brother?"

"Yes!" Albus spluttered, turning bright red. "I have a girlfriend!"

James looked puzzled. "Well, could have fooled me. Why is she never here?"

"She's at Disney World," Albus mumbled, looking forlorn.

"My advice," James went on, directing his attention back to Sam whilst Albus sulked, "is get in as much as you can before you go back to Hogwarts."

"Why?" Sam asked in a daze, thinking he probably wouldn't even have the courage to try again for the remainder of the summer at least.

"Because you certainly won't be able to once you're there."

It was Scorpius who queried James' declaration that time. "Why?" And then he too blushed, as though perhaps worried they would think he was asking for his own reasons.

Maybe he was, Sam thought, realising Scorpius had never actually gotten a say in the discussion of whether he was or wasn't a virgin.

"Because you can't," James said, dumbfounded. When they all, bar Mason, looked confused, James elaborated with the great pride of someone who knew something no one else did. "Like, you physically can't, no matter how badly you want to—believe me. There are enchantments or something."

That couldn't surely be true, Sam thought, alarmed. He'd never heard that in all his time at the school. Would it not be common knowledge?

"It's like an unwritten but well-known secret," James explained. "Bobbin refused to confirm or deny it to me when I asked her, and so did Neville. But I first heard it from a Prefect when I was in Fourth Year, and it's almost certainly true."

"You're kidding?" Scorpius asked.

Sam couldn't believe the nerve of James Potter to ask both his Head of House and the actual Headmistress to confirm the supposed well-known secret that there were enchantments in Hogwarts Castle to prevent the students from… copulating. But then, actually, he absolutely could.

"Oh, come on, don't tell me you've never noticed?" James asked in disbelief.

"No," Sam said, still in shock. "What do you even mean? What… happens?"

How could an enchantment stop you, thought Sam in a panic. Did something bad happen to you physically? Did the teachers somehow know and intervene? God, that would be humiliating. But he remembered vividly how Cepheus Roberts had interrupted him and Janey snogging in the corridor that one time.

"Seriously?" James snorted, looking around the group of teenage boys with that smug arrogance they all hated.

"Just shut up and tell us, James," Albus snapped.

"How could I possibly do both?" James asked sarcastically, but thought better of getting off-topic. He clearly loved divulging information none of them had, especially regarding the art of sex.

Sam was just grateful he wasn't the only one to whom this was new information. Mason clearly knew, but he supposed he would have, being James' best friend and roommate. Or maybe, Sam considered, he too had first-hand knowledge of this phenomenon.

"Okay," James went on, "so you're snogging a girl in the broom cupboards on the fifth floor."

Sam thought enviously of those stolen, energy-fuelled moments with Janey back before he had ruined it all.

"You're very, very into it," James continued to paint the scene. "You've done absolutely everything you can with her with your clothes still on, but you obviously still want more."

Sam had gone red again. He dreaded to think of all the things James Potter could possibly do with a girl with her clothes still on in comparison to his own explorations with Janey. There must be a thousand more creative possibilities, and he supposed James would be good at them all without even trying, or at least not overthinking every tiny thing like Sam did.

"So, you know, you're ready to progress, you're absolutely off your head levels of horny, and you simply…" James just shook his head sadly. "Can't," he concluded.

No one said anything for a while as they took it in.

Albus finally broke the silence. "What does that even mean? Why can't you?"

"You just can't," James said with a shrug. "It's like there's a mental forcefield stopping you from going any further. The desire to doesn't go away," he clarified," but it's like your hands, your body, just all of a sudden can't do the things you so very desperately want them to." He looked wistful.

Sam couldn't imagine a magic strong enough to have stopped him and Janey on her birthday once they were in the heat of the moment, but if James was sure of this phenomena then it had to be true.

"Don't think I haven't tried every single loophole I could think of," James assured them. "Mason can vouch for me."

"Oh, yes, I've been privy to every single possible detail of James' recounted attempts to get laid at Hogwarts," Mason sighed, looking remorseful. "Trust me, no one's having sex at Hogwarts."

"I wonder if the professors can," Albus accidentally said out loud and then looked grossed out by the thought.

"Try it," James dared them, ignoring Albus. "And if you're successful, please, Merlin, let me know how the hell you managed it."

"Maybe it's a consent thing," Sam mused out loud, thinking about how and why these enchantments could possibly work.

James looked outraged. "Sam, if you're suggesting the only reason I couldn't get off at Hogwarts is because I was some kind of predator triggering these invisible spells to stop me then you underestimate how desperately most of the female student population are also gagging for it."

The way he spoke was crude and disgusting but Sam instantly felt guilty.

"That's not what I was implying, James. I was just thinking out loud."

But James seemed to have instantly gotten over it. "Hogwarts isn't sex-positive in the slightest. These enchantments were probably put in place by the Founders, and no one's bothered to take them down because God forbid anyone other than the Headmistress has an unwanted pregnancy."

Once he realised said unwanted pregnancy had resulted in the birth of his wife, James looked instantly guilty. "I just mean"—he blushed—"Bobbin's a hypocrite, isn't she?"

"I think it's a bit different," Scorpius said in defence of his favourite teacher. "Bobbin was an adult, and she was married, and I'm guessing she conceived Ebony outside of Hogwarts, given, you know, that her dad's a Muggle."

But James still looked annoyed. "Whatever. I just think total enforced abstinence is one of the dumbest things they could do to keep students safe—especially to not even talk about it and let us know it's a thing that exists!"

Sam was intrigued by James' line of thinking.

James continued. "It just means we're all getting our rocks off as much as possible in the summers in between and at Christmas. Unleashing all that pent-up passion seems a lot more unhealthy than just acting on it when you feel like it, no? And just look at how many Hogwarts students end up getting married super young to their 'childhood sweethearts' or whatever, because they haven't actually been able to explore proper adult relationships."

He clearly did not realise the irony of what he was saying at all. But Sam guessed James was thinking of his own parents, and Rose's, and to some extent, Scorpius' too. In fact, Sam realised, it wasn't only limited to their parents' generation. What about Rose's cousin Victoire, married to Teddy Lupin and pregnant with their first child already? And in spite of the fact that James didn't realise he'd done the exact same thing as his parents, he and Ebony weren't an exception.

Rose and Scorpius would undoubtedly get married almost immediately once they stopped pretending like they weren't back together, Sam thought bitterly, but stopped when he caught himself. Why did that thought irritate him? He wondered if he would marry Janey…

"James," Scorpius said pointedly.

"Hey!" James snapped, realising what Scorpius was getting at. "It wasn't like that for me and Ebony," he insisted. "I just found my soulmate early, okay? I don't need to explore anybody else. She's the one," he said firmly.

Albus looked like he wanted to point out that the same probably applied to his and James' parents but thought better of it. If James Potter wanted to believe he was the exception, then so be it, but Sam was seriously worried now.

Relationships did seem a little more intense at Hogwarts than Sam thought they probably were outside of it. Was that partially because of what James was suggesting? Students weren't properly allowed to explore relationships in the same way so they associated those feelings of desperate longing with… love? But, Sam thought, that's not what James had said at all. He didn't know why he had suddenly thought that.

"But that's my point exactly," James emphasised once more. "All of you need to be shagging as much as you can before school starts again, because Lord knows you won't get the chance when you're back."

Sam gulped. They had just over a month before the new term started, and Janey currently wasn't speaking to him.

James suddenly glared at Scorpius like he had done something wrong. "Not you, Malfoy. You can wait until marriage."

Scorpius just rolled his eyes. "I'm not even currently seeing anyone," he mumbled, but nobody was buying it.

"Nor you," James clarified, now glaring at Albus. "You'd just embarrass the Potter name and ruin all my credibility. Kiss your make-believe girlfriend first."

"James, she's real," Sam assured him before Albus could protest, deeply amused. "She's a Prefect."

All this did was bring James' attention back to Sam, however, and he now felt all eyes on him once more.

"Guess that just leaves you, Sam," James said brightly. "And with Janey literally asking for it, you'd be an idiot not to go for it."

Mason once more leapt in. "Sam, you don't have to do anything you don't want to," he clarified, similar to Elliot. "It's not all doom and gloom. You can still be together. You can still… do stuff."

"Probably for the best actually," James said, taking them all by surprise. He met the questioning looks with cockiness as per usual. "Listen, boys, once you've gone there, there's no going back. Nothing will compare. Those broom cupboards will feel like a prison."

Sam failed to see it at all. He'd happily take snogging Janey in the broom cupboards over the mortifying encounter of two nights previously.

"Can you still go to second base?" he checked.

"Yes," James and Mason said at the same time, taking even James by surprise. He regarded his best friend with a knowing smirk before addressing Sam once more. "But not third."

Third? There was a third? Had Sam and Janey done that? Had they skipped it entirely? God, there was so much he didn't know.

Scorpius was looking incredibly thoughtful by Sam's side, and once James noticed this, he looked irritated. "Marriage, Malfoy," he emphasised once more. "Follow the Head Boy's example."

Sam just stared.

"What?" James demanded once he caught sight.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean Malfoy has to marry Rose before he even thinks about defiling her. She's like a sister to me—I've got to protect her, right? Don't worry, though, you and Janey have my blessing."

"I'm not even dating Rose," Scorpius protested under his breath, but nobody was listening.

"No," Albus said on Sam's behalf. "What did you mean about… you and Ebony?"

"I didn't say anything about me and Ebony. But Merlin's beard, am I gonna suffer this year," James pouted. "I won't even be able to see her."

It would have been sweet, Sam thought, if they hadn't all known he had sex on the brain.

"No, but you said wait for marriage," Sam continued. "Like you did? But you didn't… surely?"

"What?" James asked in amusement. "You don't think Ebony and I waited?"

"Did you?" Scorpius queried, looking like he wasn't actually sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"Of course, I'm not a sinner."

Sam was entirely confused now. "But you… you literally just said!"

"Oh, come on, Sam, I am obviously joking." James looked delighted by their confusion. "I mean, technically, me and Ebony did abide by the laws of the Church, but, you know, not exactly on purpose."

"Seriously?" Sam couldn't help but ask.

"Sam, I've literally just told you that you can't, under any circumstances, have sex in Hogwarts. I've never been allowed anywhere near Ebony over the holidays—our wedding night was literally the first time we were ever in a situation that meant we could!"

Sam wondered if Ebony would be comfortable with how much James was sharing about their personal life, but he also worried Janey wouldn't exactly like it if she knew he had shared what he had with the other guys either.

So for all James had been talking about sex, that meant, if he and Ebony hadn't actually been intimate before their wedding night, James Potter had been celibate for far longer than they'd realised. Sam tried to think back to when he and Ebony had actually started dating, but it had always been a much more private affair than the rest of the group's relationships. Assuming they'd gotten together as soon as Ebony and Scorpius had broken up, that would make it well over a year.

"I know what you're doing," James said, regarding Sam with suspicion. "I can see the cogs whirring… the mathematics…"

Sam felt flustered. "I was just—"

"I don't care," James dismissed, smirking once more. "And anyway, you'd be wrong. I'm a one-woman man, then, now, and forever." He said it with pride, and it was actually rather endearing.

"Ebony was you first?" Sam asked in disbelief. After all that, was that what James was suggesting?

"Of course! Have you seen me marry anybody else?"

"What?" Albus asked in confusion.

"I haven't been married before now—of course Ebony was my first."

"Wait, so that is why you got married?"

Sam was grateful that Albus was the one asking those questions, because he felt just as confused. Was James seriously suggesting that he had really only lost his virginity just a couple of months ago? That he had truly been with just one woman, for all he seemingly bragged about his sexual proclivity?

James looked annoyed. "I am going to say this just once, and then I'm never going to speak about it again, as you idiots clearly don't understand what a joke is. Ebony snatched my virginity away on our wedding night like the delicious temptress she is. I have never, nor shall I ever be intimate with another woman in my life. Nor," he declared with great confidence, "would I ever want to, because I've already won. I somehow managed to land the sexiest girl who's ever graced this earth and charmed her into my heart as well as my bed. No, we did not intentionally wait for marriage," he answered Albus before he could ask again. "And no, that is not why I asked Ebony to marry me. It's because I love her. And I'd have been shagging her this summer regardless. And I'd have shagged countless girls before meeting Ebony had there not been those stupid enchantments depriving them of the wonderful experience it would have been, let's make that clear. Sadly, they will all have to envy Ebony forever. And no," he sighed, "because none of you seem to understand humour, when I said Ebony 'snatched' my virginity, it was obviously a joke. It was incredibly mutual and I was very enthusiastic."

They all looked to Mason in complete astonishment, unsure whether it was still an elaborate hoax on James' part. He just nodded though, confirming James' explanation of it all.

"Why is that all so hard to believe?" James asked bemusedly.

"Because," Sam said in disbelief, "you started this conversation by listing all the different ways you've…"

"Made love?" James asked mockingly. "Oh, please, I never said my exhilarating sex life wasn't with my wife—you all just jumped to conclusions! We've got a lot to fit in before she has to go back." A wicked glint twinkled in his eyes as he queued up his next euphemism, but Sam cut him off.

"Don't."

"Oh, come on, Sam, it was right there!"

"A lot to fit in, ha-ha, very funny, but can we get back to the point of all this?" Sam was embarrassed to focus the attention back on his predicament with Janey but the conversation had completely derailed to James' recounting of losing his virginity, and Sam still desperately sought any kind of guidance. Even if, to his surprise, it turned out James wasn't actually that much more experienced than him as he'd always thought. Well, not in terms of the time he'd been… active. It was almost reassuring.

"Sleep with Janey," James said firmly. And then, before Mason could contradict him, said of his own accord, "If that's what you both want." He glared at Mason. "Happy?"

Mason nodded.

"But you obviously do, and she does too, and you've got, what, a month left before you physically can't, so why not?"

"Actually," Sam said sheepishly, feeling like it was finally time to come clean, "we kind of already did…"

Four shocked faces peered back at him as the revelation sunk in. Sam felt the familiar knot of anxiety form in his stomach which had refused to leave throughout his awkward conversation with Elliot too. How could James talk about it all so comfortably, like it wasn't the massive deal that it was?

It was, of course, James who reacted first, punching Sam on the arm. "Are you taking the piss?" He was incredulous. "This entire time and you've not given us the crucial piece of information that you've already freaking done it!"

Sam shifted from one foot to the other, unsuccessfully trying to ignore everybody's startled gazes. "Well, yeah, I mean, kind of."

James looked torn between exhilarated amusement at having obtained the gossip that Sam and Janey had been physically intimate with each other and anger that Sam hadn't confessed sooner.

"Holy shit," he said, letting out a low whistle. "Yeah, you did!"

Sam dared to look at the others. Mason looked similarly impressed, Albus looked completely shocked, and Scorpius looked… somewhat distrustful. Like he couldn't actually believe Sam's statement was true.

Sam wished he could prove it, but he hardly wanted to boast about exactly how it had gone down with Janey.

"What do you mean kind of?" Albus demanded.

Oh, God. Well, Sam supposed he would have to tell them. He had been the one to initiate this conversation in the first place after all. And this was exactly the reason why.

"Well, like I said, on Janey's birthday, we went back to her house that evening, and she asked me to sleep with her."

"And you actually did?" It was Mason who asked. "We assumed you were asking because this was a pending request," he explained, not wanting to come across too eager.

"I… Yes."

"Sam, you seem uncertain," James said. "And I'm not being funny, but you'd know."

"I did," Sam insisted. "We did," he amended. "But it wasn't… I don't know… It wasn't…"

"Did you," James asked plainly, "put 'little Sam' inside of Janey's—"

"James, please!" Mason stopped him in disgust, and Sam was grateful.

He had gone bright red once more and didn't think he would return to his former pallor at all. "Yes," he said meekly. And then he couldn't help but feel smug as he noticed Scorpius' eyes slightly widened. Perhaps it was just his ego, but Sam was sure Albus and Scorpius were now looking somewhat envious of him.

Without warning, James slapped Sam on the back with giddy delight. "Hell yeah, welcome to the club!"

"But it wasn't…"

"Ah," James said wisely, catching on. "She didn't 'enjoy' herself, as it were. Well, that's to be expected on your first time, what can I say. You just have to practise. I can do this thing with Ebony where I just—"

"Nope," Mason said, holding up his hand to silence James, once more acting as a beacon for him to know when he was going too far.

"I didn't either," Sam admitted, knowing he would feel the shame he was now accustomed to when recalling that night, but thinking the truth was necessary given what he'd already confessed. He had initiated the conversation in the desperate hopes of some guidance or advice, so it was in his best interests to be wholly honest about it all. What could be the harm now he'd already gone as far as he could? It would probably just spread from Janey's end that he was a terrible lover otherwise so he might as well quash any expectations first.

"Wow," was all James could say, clearly not expecting this admission. "How is that even possible? What the hell happened? Why would you stop? Or…" His eyes widened. "You couldn't…?"

"No, I stopped," Sam clarified quickly. "I… felt awkward, and uncomfortable, and I panicked, and I shut it down and I just left."

"Harsh," James said. "But hey, leave them wanting more, eh? No wonder Janey's not speaking to you."

"You noticed?" Sam asked, mortified. He hadn't even been anywhere near her yet so how could they have already deduced that? Unless she had implied something before he'd gotten there.

"We could tell something was up," Mason admitted.

"Yeah, but not this!" Albus said, still in total disbelief. "You and Janey couldn't even stand each other two months ago."

"Passion," James declared. "You were just channelling it in the wrong way—all the arguing. And you made up for it with a whole load of snogging. And now, because you couldn't act on it at Hogwarts, you don't have those constraints and you're gagging for it." He opened his arms as if to say 'I told you so', and Sam had to admit that it made a lot of sense.

Was it not actual passion Janey felt for Sam then? Was it just an accidental side effect of these supposed enchantments at Hogwarts?

"We never wanted to act on it at Hogwarts," Sam denied. "We weren't… It wasn't on our minds."

"Because of the enchantments," James insisted. "Maybe you aren't actively thinking about it but come on, Sam, all that snogging, you know it would have led there if you'd had free will over your body."

"Maybe don't phrase it like that," Mason advised. "It sounds a little…"

"Let the Hogwarts students have sex! Isn't this a crime?" James asked triumphantly. "They're controlling what we can and can't do with our bodies!"

"Not in the way you're making it sound," Scorpius said. "Come on, James, that's a serious issue."

James looked ready to argue but reconsidered. Sam was sure Scorpius was saying it on Ebony's behalf. She had been through some serious stuff with her adoptive parents, Sam knew. Nothing to do with the nature of their conversation then, but the sentiments of enforced control were not on an appropriate level with James' bitterness that his school wouldn't let him have sex.

"I thought the enchantments affected the body, not the mind," Albus piped up. "Like, you said you still had desires, you just couldn't physically act on it."

"Exactly," Sam agreed. "Janey and I—we weren't there yet."

"So what changed?" James demanded.

"I don't know," Sam mumbled, blushing. "I guess I didn't know it was a possibility. That it was on Janey's mind."

James just had that annoying knowing look again. "Janey and I are cut from the same cloth, believe me, it's been on her mind."

But Sam refused to believe that James could possibly know what was and wasn't on Janey's mind. No one could. It was impossible. Did she know about these supposed enchantments?—he wondered. Is that why she was suddenly so keen to progress their relationship now in the summer? But no, if that was her only motive then surely she wouldn't have waited that long into the summer. It was just hard for Sam to believe that Janey could possibly have wanted to do this with him out of pure desire for him alone. What could Sam really offer her?

"What was it like?" Albus breathed in awe before he could stop himself, and Sam felt a hot prickle on his neck where the biggest of his love bites was positioned.

Should he lie? He'd already said he felt awkward and stopped it, but would he be hurting Janey to confess just how awful it had been. He knew it wasn't her fault at all, but still, it was such a private, personal moment between them and he'd already most likely shared more than she was comfortable with.

At that moment, a loud burst of giggles erupted from where the girls were, making Sam's skin burn hotter still. Janey still had her back to Sam, so he couldn't see her expression, but he wondered what kind of spirits she was in now.

"It wasn't great," he confessed, still staring at Janey's small figure in the distance.

"What do you mean?" James snapped, as though he had been personally slighted by this reveal.

"I told you," Sam mumbled, "I just felt really awkward, and uncomfortable, and I could tell she wasn't into it, and…" He was too embarrassed to go on.

"You did it wrong then," James said incredulously. "It isn't possible to not enjoy sex."

His arrogant naivety was irritating them all.

"I was enjoying it," Sam insisted. "Physically, it was the most amazing thing in the world—"

"Yeah, it was." James smirked.

"—but I was too in my head, overthinking everything."

"Well, I suppose we can't all immediately be fantastic lovers the first time like me," James sighed wistfully. "But it must have been bad if Janey couldn't even fake it."

"James," they all groaned, slightly offset from each other, clearly feeling bad for Sam.

At that point, there was another chorus of raucous laughter from the girls.

"Do you think they're talking about it too?" James asked, and Sam wanted to punch him.

"No," Sam said furiously, willing it to be true, but now he was horrified that they might be. "Look, forget it. I shouldn't have even said anything. I just wanted to know if anybody else knew how to go about this, but you are not helping, James."

"I'm the only one who can help you though," James boasted. "And if you'd actually let me, I have great advice to give."

"Okay, fine," Sam relented, willing to hear him out, desperate for any kind of guidance he could get. It wasn't that Elliot hadn't been helpful, but all his advice had been about talking to Janey, which Sam was still avoiding doing at all costs. He'd happily take any other suggestions before he had to cross that bridge, just so he was better prepared.

"Look, it's not all about the obvious," James said, finally softening his tone. "It's all new at first, and you just have to focus on one thing."

All the boys now looked intrigued. James was a lot more tolerable when he wasn't just bragging and taking jabs at everybody.

"What one thing?" Sam asked.

"I didn't mean it like that," James clarified. "I meant don't try and do too much too soon. It's all new, it's all firsts, and you don't have to rush anything. It's not like it's a one-night stand."

"You'd hope," Albus said.

"You and Janey have the rest of the summer to explore this. You dove straight in, which, fair enough, I absolutely cannot blame you for, but had you even done anything else before this? Besides snogging," James said pointedly, anticipating a dumb answer.

"Some," Sam said ominously, because he wasn't entirely sure what James defined 'anything else' as. They'd explored each other's upper bodies with their hands. He'd grabbed her bum. It was nice.

"Second base?" James queried.

"Yes," Sam said smugly, as though he hadn't been terrified at the thought of even that just two weeks ago.

"Third base?" This was accompanied by a raising of eyebrows, as though James already knew the answer.

Sam knew he couldn't lie. "Okay, well, I'm not entirely sure what that is, but—"

"Sam!" James protested. "Come on, I'd argue it can be more exciting than just straight-up doing it sometimes. At least as an opener—you can't just dive straight in. No wonder Janey was miserable!"

"She wasn't miserable," Sam insisted, deeply offended.

"You're telling me you just went straight to full-on sex without working your way through the bases?"

"I told you, I don't even know what third base is!" Sam snapped, sick of being made to feel inadequate. He now knew he was more experienced than Albus, Scorpius, and even Mason, and yet James was making him out to be the least competent of them all.

James just looked at him pointedly. "Calm down, it's oral."

"Or—what?"

"Oral."

Sam wanted to be swallowed up by the sand.

"Mouths," James clarified, as though it wasn't obvious.

"We use our mouths," Sam said weakly, vaguely indicating to his bruised neck.

"Not like that, my friend. You know exactly what I mean."

And Sam realised, in horror, that he did.

James had been right. In some ways, the thought of that seemed an even bigger step than what he and Janey had done on her birthday, even though he knew, logically, it wasn't. But God, he hadn't even let her see him naked properly; she certainly hadn't touched him anywhere she hadn't already, and now James was suggesting he proposition her into that?

"I'm not gonna ask her to do that," Sam said bashfully. "Jesus, James, she'll punch me!"

"You'd be surprised how much some girls like doing it," James said exasperatedly, although Sam now questioned how he could possibly know that now that he knew Ebony had been James' one and only sexual partner, and that third base was seemingly not achievable at Hogwarts. Sam thought of Ebony, and then immediately stopped, fearful James would be able to read his mind.

"And, for once, I wasn't actually thinking about the male pleasure," James continued. "You've got to put the work in too, my friend. You might be God-awful at sex but you've got a mouth, a tongue, teeth, hands, fingers—"

"Stop," Albus begged.

James smirked. "You've got to be creative. Put her pleasure first for a change, and you'll see how much you enjoy it too."

For a change?—Sam echoed in his head. Was James forgetting that Sam had literally only tried to be physically intimate with Janey just one time, and that he hadn't even achieved the so-called pinnacle of pleasure?

But now Sam felt deeply unsettled once more as James listed the creative things Sam hadn't even realised could and maybe should be a part of the whole encounter. It was Janey's fault, he thought angrily; she had given him no warning, no preparation!

"Wait, you can actually do that?" Sam unintentionally asked.

He was grateful that Albus and Scorpius still looked as pale and wide-eyed as he was sure he was from each new revelation in the conversation.

"I mean, physically, yeah, you've got the capability, but let's be honest, not everybody can master it like some people." James broke out into an uncontrollable grin, signalling to them all that he was about to say something vile that he probably thought was incredibly witty. "There's a reason they call me the Head Boy."

"Jesus Christ, James," Mason said on behalf of them all.

Sam truly did wonder how much Hogwarts' anti-sex enchantments were responsible for the way James Potter was. Surely, surely, he would not be this arrogantly and disgustingly sex-obsessed if he'd actually been having it over the last couple of years. He was eighteen, a husband, and like a dog in heat.

"That's not just something girls can do?" Sam asked, confused. He had always thought it went one way…

"No, idiot, what did you think? I mean, obviously the mechanics are different, but you've got a mouth, she's got a—"

"Okay, okay," Sam said hurriedly, not wanting James to talk about Janey's body intimately, even biologically. "I didn't know that was something you could do," he admitted sheepishly. "That they liked."

"Oh, they love it," James said wickedly, perhaps once again forgetting that he had already confessed that 'they' meant literally just Ebony when it came to him speaking from experience.

Sam was not sure he would be able to face the dark-haired girl after that conversation. In fact, he wasn't sure he'd be able to look at any of the girls again, least of all Janey.

"I'm telling you, foreplay is your friend. Whatever you think is enough almost always isn't. And sometimes," James said knowingly, "it's all you need. For round one," he clarified. "Make sure in round two you get what you need, obviously," he said, as though only satisfying your partner made the experience un-worthwhile.

But Sam was once more shocked by the revelation that there could be multiple rounds? He wasn't sure what he and Janey had done even counted as half a round. He supposed, in a vulgar, probably unintentional way, James was actually right. Sam maybe had been putting himself first—but that was only because he had zero experience, he reasoned. Next time—if there was a next time—it would be different. He would focus purely on Janey's needs, her desire. He struggled to see how he could possibly not enjoy it by default, and if she was having a good time then he would be incredibly motivated and reassured.

"Okay," Sam said, actually feeling kind of grateful that he had prompted the conversation with them after all, despite how awkward most of it had been. It had certainly been enlightening. Not the least about James' own personal history but the revelation about Hogwarts. Sam nodded to himself thoughtfully. "Okay, I get it."

"Let me know how it goes," James said wickedly.

"No, James," Sam said in disgust. "Janey's not even talking to me anyway. I don't know… I don't think we'll… try anything again," he said delicately. "For a while."

"Your loss," James said. "Enjoy the sex shackles of Hogwarts." His face lit up with delight. "Oh my God, sex shackles, now that's a great idea!"

"It's really not all that bad," Mason said to Sam before James could get off topic again. "The enchantments are probably only in place for safeguarding, that's all. You won't even notice. It's like James said—it's more a mental forcefield."

Sam was curious as to how much experience Mason had with all this. He spoke as though he too had first-hand knowledge of it, but other than Gwen over a year ago, to Sam's knowledge, Mason hadn't been in a relationship. He supposed that didn't mean that he couldn't have been 'seeing' people. Not everybody had to broadcast their personal lives everywhere.

"There really aren't any loopholes?" Sam asked, wondering how thorough James and Mason had truly been, although he highly suspected it was a lot.

"If you find one then I'll give you a thousand Galleons," James insisted, despite undoubtedly not having anywhere near that amount of money available.

"The Room of Requirement?" Sam suggested.

"Nope."

"What about the grounds?"

James smirked. "I like your style, but alas, no."

Sam suddenly had a flash of genius. "What about Hogsmeade?"

"Come on, Sam," James cried, "I'm no amateur! I've tried every single crevice of the castle, the grounds, and Hogsmeade—even the bloody train! It simply isn't possible."

"It's probably not even a parameter thing," Scorpius said, thinking deeply. "It's probably an age-enforced thing. No one under eighteen. Or no students or something."

James considered what Scorpius was saying. "So what you're saying is… now that yours truly is no longer a student, you think I could?"

Scorpius looked mortified. "I'm not suggesting anything!" he protested. "I wasn't extending some sort of challenge to you, James. Ebony is still a seventeen-year-old student," he reminded him fiercely. "Creeping around the grounds trying to sleep with a Hogwarts student is almost certainly not in your best interests, I am one hundred percent positive."

James looked offended. "I'm her husband, not some kind of predator!"

"Probably still not advisable," Mason said delicately. He slapped a hand onto his best friend's back. "You're in it for the long haul. I'm afraid."

James looked thoroughly glum.

Author's Note: Title and epigraph inspired by McFly's 'Do Ya'

This chapter was so long that I ended up having to split it into two, so have the next chapter too, as it's essentially a continuation!