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chapter six.

It turned out Sirius was right – not long after their brief argument had ended, McGonagall had come in to tell them that they had permission to leave and that she hoped their punishment had taught them a valuable lesson to not to talk during class because she had plenty more books and manuscripts that needed to be sorted through. Emilia had hastily given a murmured apology to her Professor once more, while Sirius said he'd see her soon anyways, it would only be a matter of time that he would be dished out another detention before McGonagall let the two leave wave with a of her hand, using her wand to put away what the two had pulled out to sort through.

By the time they left the classroom, the sun had long since set, hidden behind the curve of the earth and only just managing to cast the remainders of long, glowing orange rays on the castle, illuminating the ceiling at the angle it was sinking at and Emilia was glad that she had some time to get homework done before dinner, that she wouldn't have to spend all her day tomorrow to play catch up.

Relief washed over her. It was done – she wouldn't have to go through another detention if she was careful and now she didn't have to worry about any of Sirius' nonsense about trying to be friend because he wanted her forgiveness.

It was complete bullshit, so ridiculous that Emilia had to stifle a laugh that was crawling up her throat; he couldn't have been serious about it, could he? No, no - he couldn't have.

Emilia half forgot about his presence as she marched her way back to the tower, the halls empty due to most students unwinding after a day of classes and probably lounging around until dinner came around for them; she was taking her time, too caught up in the delightful feeling of having managed to get through her first (and hopefully last) ever detention that she hadn't realised Sirius had fallen into step beside her, his much longer legs catching up with her and keeping pace. Emilia hadn't even noticed Sirius was walking side by side with her until he gave a groan as he stretched his arms over his head, making her jump and nearly trip over her feet as she turned to him, his long body casting a cool shadow as he blocked her from the waning warmth of the sun.

"Bloody Hell, I think I broke my arse sitting on that floor," he complained, letting his arms flop to his side. "Next time we get detention, hopefully we get to sit on actual chairs."

Emilia wanted to tell him that there was no 'we', no 'us', nothing to link the two together but instead bit her tongue, trying to quicken her pace so as to out walk him and hopefully get further away from him, but his legs were much longer than hers and every step he took was equal to two of hers and she was only tiring herself out by trying to walk faster.

The cut on her finger served as a burning reminder of her not being able to keep her usually tightly concealed emotions under wraps and despite the fire burning in her, she instead only offered a cold shoulder to Sirius, not even having the energy to tell him to shove off and leave her alone as she knew it would be wasted on him entirely.

Yet, her silence did nothing to deter him from talking.

That's what Emilia learned quickly about Sirius, however much it was against her will – he liked to talk, so radio silence meant nothing to him.

Even as she tramped her way through the castle, fingers curled in on her palms and taking a clearly unsavoury disposition, there was very little that managed to quell Sirius in his endless stream of chatter, his voice rinsing and wringing in her ear and making Emilia feel as if she'll find no escape from it, that she will continue to hear him talk even in her sleep.

Despite her reluctance, she was unable to do anything but listen to him since there was naught else to cover the noise of his voice as the castle was a calm before the storm, other students tucked away in the library or their respective Common Rooms and she was practically drowning in the sound of Sirius' voice; he talked about everything and anything but mainly himself – being on the Quidditch team, asking her if she had ever seen him play before saying of course you have and not wasting a breath to even offer her a pause that would existed for her to give a non-existent reply before barrelling ever onwards.

He talked about being the first in his family to be in Gryffindor, his friends and how they've all been close since the first day of First Year; he talked as if no one in the school knew anything about Sirius Black and his friends, as if they weren't the most popular group of boys in the history of Hogwarts and Emilia wondered if he thought she was a secluded loner who wasn't susceptible to gossip. No one would suspect her of rumour spreading and had no problem talking loudly around her; she probably knew a bit too much about too many people, most of all Sirius Black.

She did, in fact, live in the girls' dorm – she knew exactly who he was.

The only other one of his friends she had ever even exchanged a word with was Peter Pettigrew as they had paired up in Care of Magical Creatures back in Third Year straight through to Fifth Year when it needed be. He was sweet, had a bad case of the nerves when he was younger that he had eventually grown out of. He was shorter than the rest of his friends, slightly on the bigger side too, but he was always nice to Emilia; she supposed she didn't make as big of an impact on him if he hadn't even bothered to correct Sirius on her name not being Emily.

Then again, Emilia doubted she had the personality to make an impression on anyone.

Slapping Sirius Black in the face, aside.

Sirius was endless in his chatter, strolling alongside her while incessantly talking and Emilia didn't want to even give him the satisfaction of telling to shut his gob because that would mean he would find out that he was getting to her and she would have to acknowledge his existence to tell him to leave her alone again.

What was it he had said, he wanted her to change her opinion of him? What a stupid reason and she supposed only Sirius Black would think of something so idiotic and continue annoying her for such a thing.

Emilia missed 48 hours ago when she didn't exist to him because it was both tiring and infuriating; she knew she didn't have great social skills, most of the kids she used to hang out in the council estate when she was younger had been just as stunted as she was and they all wore grubby clothes that made the other kids at school not want to hang out with them so they all stuck together.

That had been an easier time, they were friends because they had no one else and, despite all that happened, that had been the happiest Emilia had been.

She just never grew out of that and now here she was, unable to even act reasonable and deal with him in a logical way; there was not much outside of telling him to piss off that she could do and, beyond that, Emilia was powerless unless she wanted to get in trouble again. Hexing him was out of the question because she didn't quite fancy spending the rest of her Saturdays scrubbing the floors with Filch.

Unfortunately, Emilia was stuck; the teachers adored him and she was sure barely any of the staff could tell what she looked like and what could she even say to them? That, oh no, Sirius Black was annoying her? As if that was a new problem for any of them; no, she would just have to suck it up and deal with it and find a way out of this.

Ignoring him, evidently, didn't work for her; he would just annoy Emilia until she imploded and was left behind with the debris of her outburst for her to deal with. The situation was entirely far too strange that it hurt quite a bit to even think about for too long; she just didn't understand why it mattered to him if she thought he was a piece of shit or not, she didn't get it. Reason told her that there must be more to it, but that's all he had elected to reveal to her and that was all Emilia had to go off.

If he intended on trying to win her then she would have to play the long game with it: either hope he loses interest or have to take action by seeing if she had the cut of an actor by pretending to be won over.

She was sure that the only times she would be surely stuck with his company was all double periods – Charms, Potions, Transfiguration and Defence Against the Dark Arts and with tomorrow being Thursday, that meant she wouldn't have to be trapped in a room with him until Friday. She would find it easy enough to dodge him all the following day and hoped that he would either forget his ridiculous plan of sticking to her like glue or that she existed entirely.

They were nearing the tower and students were coming to and fro with some not even attempting to hide the puzzled looks that were cast towards Emilia and Sirius; she didn't understand why it was so interesting to the gossiping majority, she knew he dated a lot of people so it shouldn't have been so interesting to them but Emilia supposed that since she wasn't a part of them that she would never know.

She knew how bad people were at gossiping (even she was susceptible to it but the only downside was that she had no one to talk to about it), she grew up listening to her aunt's wine drunk conversations over the phone and people could be so petty about the smallest things – a new haircut, a pair of heels, a skirt that's the wrong colour, a shirt that's not as opaque as the wearer thought, the most popular boy in school suddenly hanging off of the arm of her.

Emilia might not have been overreacting as much were it not for the fact he literally would not shut up or let her be; she liked her space, liked having her own bubble that she could keep to herself and be lost in her own thoughts, her study, work and reading but now that was burst and the tall, dark haired boy beside her was grinning as if he had done her a favour for doing so.

Emilia had barked the password at the portrait of the Fat Lady, most likely earning herself a spot on being one of the portrait's least liked students throughout time, ignoring the aghast, shrill gasp that left the Fat Lady as she swung open, both she and Sirius squeezing in through the doorway; Emilia's appetite had long since evaporated and she made a beeline for the girls' dormitory, leaving Sirius in the dust as she cut through the Common Room, but not before she could hear his shout of see you at dinner! that caused more than a few pair of curious eyes to be turned towards her.

Seriously, did they have nothing else to talk about? Emilia supposed nine months locked away in a castle with no radio, television or those tabloid magazines would leave anyone desperate for some form of entertainment and talk and here she was – red signs and Broadway lights to be the topic of conversation until the end of the week.

Emilia knew Sirius had dated before and the rumours and gossiping were worse back then that even she couldn't escape it; he's had a string of partners before that lasted less than a month, with the longest he'd ever dated being Marlene McKinnon back in Sixth Year. From what she heard, they had managed to stick together from the start of the year up until Christmas before they ended up breaking up and Emilia thought Marlene could do leagues better; she was kind and pretty, with warm brown skin and an even warmer smile on her face and she was never explicitly mean to Emilia, though neither had held a proper conversation with one another.

Emilia despaired over the idea that she only existed now in the public psyche as an extension of Sirius Black, that her identity in Hogwarts would forever be 'that quiet one Sirius Black hung around'.

Part of Emilia pondered over the idea of acting interested in him that way in order to scare him off that bit quicker but the thought made her stomach turn, flipping over and the idea was quickly pushed away; never mind how much the very concept of trying to appear as if she like liked Sirius made Emilia scrunch her face up in something not as harsh as disgust, but her only experience of romance came from reading and sometimes she couldn't help but cringe at the fact she was seventeen and hadn't even gotten her first kiss.

Though, her aunt and uncle were hardly the perfect example of what a couple should be like and Emilia supposed if someone ever did come around, she wouldn't ever have something so emotionally and mentally deteriorating as what she had witnessed at home.

No, her best idea was to play the long game; act cold, be disinterested and not encourage him and hope he finally decides to leave her alone. She had gotten through seven years of this, she only had seven more months to go.

Emilia entirely forgot her current situation when she sat down for breakfast, bleary eyed and rubbing the remainders of sleep away as she pulled a bowl of porridge to her, cupping the warm ceramic with her hands and breathing in the smell of it; it was raining again outside, fat droplets breaking against the glass and it was the perfect kind of weather for sleeping in, though unfortunately for Emilia she had to be awake before nine unless she wanted to starve until lunch later in the day.

The chatter from other students was quiet for the most part, she had woken up earlier than planned and there was only a few speckled groups of students who had been of the same mind as her and sat down for breakfast early; the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor table were almost entirely empty while the Ravenclaw table seemed to have most of its students sitting down, shovelling food into their mouths and there was a generous amount of sleepy Slytherins at their table. She could see her Potions partner Amanda Glass sitting at the Slytherin table stealing glances at the Gryffindor table, caught Edgar Bones as he tiredly tripped over his shoes on his way to the Hufflepuff table.

Beside Emilia, sitting a bit away, was a Third Year that was madly scribbling away on a piece of parchment, dark skin looking somewhat grey and face appearing green as he tried to finish an essay that he left until last minute; considering how sickly he looked, Emilia supposed it must be for McGonagall.

Opening her book, Emilia split the spine against the wood of the table, flipping to the page she remembered last reading and continuing from the top, attention half on the book and half making sure she didn't drop a spoonful of porridge onto her robes by missing her mouth, instant warmth flooding through her as she ate. It was peaceful, a good morning despite the weather outside and she was glad that she had got some of her homework down last night after –

Oh.

She had forgotten.

How had she – ?

At that moment, another body was next to hers, as if she were a magnet drawing its other half to her and she jolted, spoon slipping away from her mouth as it fell into the bowl, turning to see none another than Sirius Black sitting next to her, smile too bright for a morning like this. Honestly, what did he have to be happy about at nearly quarter past eight in the morning? And he was alone too, without his friends; he was never up this early, she could always remember the select few faces that were always in the Great Hall before the crowd came rushing in and he certainly wasn't one of them.

Emilia stared at him, blinking and trying to see if he was an apparition of her tired mind but when her eyes opened again, there he still sat, elbows on the table and arms crossed over one another, holding a proud look on his face that he had managed to snag an open space beside her, never mind the fact there were plenty of other places to sit. "What are you doing?"

"Sitting," he responded lightly, turning away to start piling food onto his plate, heaping on fried eggs, sausages, toast and grabbing some tea for himself, wasting no time before he started shoving it into his mouth, not caring he was speaking with his mouth full. "Have you heard of the concept?"

"Why are you sitting here?" she pressed, eyes narrowing at him, the question making her feel stupid as she was half way done speaking it.

Even from the side, she could see him giving a dramatic roll of his eyes towards her, swallowing what he had chewed before turning to face Emilia, angling his body so that it was directed entirely at her, as if to show he had nothing to hide. Beneath a curtain of soft, ink curls that seemed deeper in the grey, weak light of the morning, he quirked an eyebrow at her, as if he was feeling embarrassed for her for asking such a silly question that they both knew the answer to. "Are we back to this again? I hadn't realised you owned all of Hogwarts and that I wasn't allowed to go anywhere or do anything."

Emilia's face remained straight, lips pursing into a straight line and whatever enjoyment that she had found in being awake so early in the morning was dripping away, carried away in a river that rushed out of her in the form of a sigh. It was useless, she knew it was and there was no point in trying to pretend it was anything otherwise.

Emilia turned away from him, focusing entirely on her breakfast and her book, opening it again after it had closed shut due to the loss of her hand pressing it apart and she didn't even bother to hide the icy tone in her voice, feeling it crack and sharpen and even a sip of tea didn't manage to melt it. "You're being facetious on purpose."

"Who, little ol' me? Never," he snorted, the act entirely unappealing as he ate and Emilia's nose scrunched up, afraid her teeth might break under the pressure they were enduring as she felt a muscle jump in her jaw.

She remembered her plan, her simple strategy to wrangle herself free from the attention of Sirius Black; act cold, disinterested and soon, hopefully, he would become bored and move on to someone else to annoy.

Not saying another word, Emilia turned away from Sirius, eyes glued back to her book as she scooped another spoonful of porridge into her mouth, trying her best entirely to ignore the body that was pressed far too close up to her for Emilia's liking. Her traitorous mind began to wander, wondering why he was alone and not surrounded by his friends; he was always with friends and it was weird to see him not being hounded by a group of people.

She entertained the thought that maybe he liked to be by himself sometimes too, then realised he wasn't really by himself no matter how much Emilia ignored him.

The silence stretched on as Emilia did her utmost best to keep on pretending he wasn't there, a weary feeling growing as he continued not to talk either. A silent Sirius Black concerned her more than a chattering one because she worried his mind was slyly formulating a plan of his own to get back at her; her hands gripped her book before she flipped a page, eyes not even reading the words - not that she needed to since she had the book entirely memorised.

"What are you reading?" Sirius said suddenly, his voice making her jump in her seat.

"None of your business," Emilia replied instantly, managing to keep her gaze straight to the printed words on the yellowed pages as she regained her composure.

Since she was trying to focus anywhere but him, she was too late when Sirius' hand reached forward and snatched the book from her grip, successfully managed to get her to look at him as he turned the book over to catch a look at the cover, flipping it back and forth to see the back and flicking through the pages. "The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkien, huh?"

Emilia wondered if she'll have to see a dentist the next time she goes home due to all the stress she's putting her teeth under from gritting them as she reached out and stole her book back from his hands, glowering at him and not liking the tone of his voice.

Had he read it before? Or heard of the author's name? Emilia was sure that Sirius was a pure-blood, coming from one of those families she knew were inclined to be sorted into Slytherin and would growl mudblood at her and the other Muggle born witches and wizards. So far, he hadn't said a slur at her so maybe he wasn't at all like them, not that Emilia cared if he was. She wouldn't ever see the faces of those who hated her for simply being born after she left school so anything they said never mattered to her.

Emilia held the book close to her chest, afraid he might try to go for it again and get grease or spill his tea on it all the while keeping her narrowed gaze on him. "And what about it?"

He took another bite of a sausage, taking his time chewing it before sipping his tea as Emilia waited for an answer, but was met with another question that didn't at all clear up what he meant. "Isn't that, like, a Muggle book?"

The question confused her. "So?"

He gave a hum of understanding, as if what Emilia had said had made everything add up, as if it all made sense to him. "All the Muggle books I've read are positively dull."

Sirius' words garnered a frown from Emilia, almost disappointed that he didn't have anything else to offer and she gave a scoff at his reply, turning away and vindicated in the fact she knew conversation from him could lead to nowhere; what did she hope to gain from talking to him, anyway? Going back to reading her book and easily finding her way to the last paragraph she was reading, Emilia sat all but hunched over her book to protect it from any snatching hands that might try to pry it from her again as she murmured under her breath. "I'm surprised you can even read."

She must not have been as quiet as she had thought she was as Sirius gave a bark of laughter, startling her and it was loud, ringing through the hall. "I mostly did it to piss off my mother."

Emilia didn't bother to question him on that, wasn't interested enough to ask him to elaborate and instead let the conversation die off, wanting nothing more than to just have some peace and quiet so that she could eat her breakfast and enjoy the calming moments she had in the morning before she would be fraught with homework and classwork.

Movement from the corner of her eye, she watched him as Sirius pushed his plate away from him, the little puddle of tea in the bottom of his cup sloshing and leaving droplets on the wooden surface of the table before he stretched his arms over his head, the sound of bones popping making Emilia wince; satisfied, Sirius folded his arms on the table, using them as a pillow to rest his head that was turned towards Emilia and the angle he lay allowed him the perfect view of her face that was not hidden by her hair and she tried to pretend as if she didn't know he was watching her.

Another page turned, she did her best to ignore him before he unwound a hand and began to run the pad of his index finger along the crumpled, dog eared top corners of the book. "What's it about?"

She didn't look at him as she spoke. "What?"

He gave another roll of his eyes that didn't sit well with Emilia, as if he was the one annoyed that she didn't know what he was talking about. She was only playing stupid on purpose in hopes he would go away but she didn't want him to think she was actually stupid; she wanted her cake and to eat it too and Sirius flicked through the corners again as he spoke slowly and patiently, as if she were hard of hearing and hard of understanding, too. "The book, what's it about?"

When he went to run his finger over the corner of the book again, she moved it out of his reach, finally deigning to give him a threatening stare that he didn't wilt under at all as he placed his arm back under his head. "Read it yourself."

"Will you lend it to me?"

"No."

He gave a sigh, lifting his shoulders. "Then I guess I won't get to know what it's about."

"Then don't," Emilia snapped back, trying desperately to go back to reading but an exasperated moan left Sirius, one that was akin to whining.

"Oh, come on, you've clearly read it a lot," he whinged and Emilia was confused by his words; how would he know she had read it a lot? Had he seen her read it before, time and time again? That could hardly be the case and seeing the look on her face, Sirius decided to elaborate. "Remus' books are all like that because he rereads them as if he doesn't know them off by heart."

"Maybe your friend has one you can borrow," she told him.

"Why go through the trouble of reading it when you can tell me?" he offered instead and once more, took to toying with the edges of her book, something that looked like a pout on his face that Emilia wasn't going to tell him about her book.

Why would he want to know? Hadn't he been the one to say Muggle books were boring? If so, why bother trying to annoy her about wanting to know what happens when he clearly showed that he had no interest in putting in the effort to actually read it?

A sharp, irritated sigh left Emilia as her spine straightened, lips pressed together as she took a breath to calm herself before the embers of irritation in her fanned themselves into flames again; once assured that she was not going to explode, Emilia turned towards Sirius who was still lying with his head cradled by his folded arms on the bench, hair slipping and caught beneath his eyes, dark strands of hair caressing his face like a long time lover as he peered up at her from the side with those moonlight like eyes.

Emilia pondered for a moment, knowing she was straying from the plan but the plan could be altered whenever compromising cropped up and presented itself as an option for her. "If I tell you, will you leave me alone?"

Sirius' reaction was instant, sitting up and a grin carving itself onto his mouth, pleased that Emilia was actually participating in a conversation for once and not leaving the burden of carrying it solely on his shoulders. It only made her more reluctant to do so as he seemed all too pleased and smug with himself. "Only until lunch."

"Fine," Emilia relented, closing the book and placing down on the table. Today was a Thursday anyways, which meant she would have an easier time avoiding him since they had no classes that they shared that day. "It's about a journey."

"Wow, such an in-depth analysis," he replied, voice taking on an apparent mocking tone at her lack of information and he gave a roll of his pretty, silver eyes. "That clears it up. Anything else I should know?"

Emilia's eyes narrowed and she turned away, instantly feeling foolish at herself for even letting herself entertain him with her replies and she kept her head bowed, hair falling over her shoulders and she shook her head, half at him and half at herself in disappointment that she was already forgetting how she was supposed to adhere to her plan.

She had fallen for the bait and she felt like an idiot for even thinking that he had even a modicum of interest in the book. "Forget it, you're just pretending."

"No really," he back tracked, a new found enthusiasm in his voice and Emilia peered at him through the side of her eyes. "I want to know or else I wouldn't be asking, would I?"

She doubted that's why he wanted to know; she remembered his words back in detention, how he had declared to her that he wanted her sincere forgiveness and that he would do all that he could to get it, to make her see that he wasn't as much of a git as she initially thought him to be and part of Emilia wanted to see him try, to see how he would try to work himself into her good books.

Underneath the table, her hands wrung themselves together out of habit as they normally would whenever she was nervous, unsure or uncomfortable. Was he only showing an ounce of interest because he wanted to start his own plan in his journey of redemption in Emilia's eyes? That seemed the most likely of answers and it left a sour taste in her mouth that his interest was a cut above being surface deep.

She considered her words for a moment, analysing his eyes and then gave a defeated sight. "It's... it's about a group of dwarves and a hobbit and a wizard going to reclaim a mountain from a dragon."

"A wizard?" He repeated, perking up and moving closer as he placed an elbow on the table, the curve of his jaw resting on his hand and he was closer now, closing distance between them and making Emilia having to lean back to gain a semblance of her own little bubble that she liked to be in. "Like us wizard or Muggle wizard?"

"Muggle wizard," she clarified, and he gave a hum, nodding.

"What's a hobbit?" he further asked and Emilia once more wondered if he was truly curious about the book or just feigning it, but part of her was finding excitement in actually talking about it with someone; the book had been in her possession for about a decade and yet, she never had the opportunity to talk about it with someone that she forgot that the person she was discussing it with was Sirius Black.

"They're kind of short like dwarves but they have big feet and they eat a lot."

"Oh, so they're like Peter then?"

"They're a completely different race," Emilia continued, ignoring his jibe at his friend. A burning fervour was coursing through her and she doesn't find herself loathing talking to him as much as she thought, though she supposed it was solely because the topic at hand was her book but the point still stood. Even if he was pretending, even if he had no interest in the book at all, Emilia still loved to talk about it, to him, to anyone that would listen. "They're usually very peaceful, but Bilbo, the main character, gets roped into going on this journey to reclaim the mountain from the dragon."

"Why the Hell are they taking a mountain from a dragon?"

"Because it isn't his mountain, it's the dwarves – he stole it from them because they had a lot of gold and dragons like gold so he drove them all out," she explained, words a rambling rush like a wave that she's caught up in, unable to pull herself in and to stop herself falling so easily for his questions. "So they're trying to take it back so the right ruler, Thorin Oakenshield, can be king."

He gave a noise of understanding, nodding his head along to her words as she spoke them. "And does he?"

That pulled her up short and Emilia paused, tripping over her words and stopping as her face scrunched up in confusion at his question. "What?"

He raised an eyebrow at her, repeating his words again. "Does he become king?"

Emilia was left without words as she stared at him, all previous zeal dripping away from her and leaving her empty and part of her was embarrassed for herself in getting excited about talking about the book with him and her mouth became dry, a hollow feeling in her chest consuming. What had happened to her plan that she had insisted on staying by?

She turned away and looked at the book, at the cover of it and couldn't help but to brush her fingers over it, feeling all too silly about her childish enthusiasm from before. "I... I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Sirius asked, a befuddled look on his face. "I thought you read it."

"I have, I just..." Emilia tried to find the words but nothing came up that is a logical and reasonable explanation as to why she didn't even know the ending. "I've never finished it."

"So, you've just reread this a hundred times and never finished it?" Sirius quizzed and when the words slipped past his tongue, Emilia began to feel even more ridiculous. "Why?"

Her mouth felt dry, stuffed with hot cotton that was burning a hole to her heart as she pondered on his words; she was reeling back from the conversation, from losing herself entirely in it and once more, that funny feeling of foolishness arose and Emilia couldn't hold the stare. She couldn't say it, not out loud and certainly not to him; such a childish hope she still held nestled to her heart, how she had still hoped one day that her father might walk through the door and keep his promise that they would finish it together.

She could barely remember him and didn't know him enough to miss him, but that part of her that was still six years old existed and remembered him even if time had washed his face away and made him another discernible face in the crowd that she could not recall. Emilia knew she was far too old to be wanting her daddy to tuck her in at night and read her stories and she had long since outgrew crying over it.

To her, there was no use crying over spilt milk and certainly no use crying over men who ran off without their child.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Emilia didn't look behind herself as she grabbed her things, not even throwing him a glance as she swung her legs out from under the table and around the bench, wasting no time to start walking, to get away from him, from her own thoughts. She's pulled back now from their previous discussion and her demeanour is cold once again. "I have class. Keep your promise and don't bother me until lunch."

Emilia didn't wait to hear Sirius' response, or maybe he didn't even say anything but she had no idea as she walked away, holding the book tight to her chest as if it were the only thing keeping the strings of her being from ripping at the seams and spilling forth all that she was. Damn Sirius Black, and damn herself for entertaining him – she had meant to give him a cold shoulder, to be boring and as monotone as ever in hopes it would turn him off but even the slightest bit of interest shown towards anything she liked and she was unable to help herself from talking about, from all but embarrassingly gushing about it to him, knowing he didn't really care for it, or her.

She would have to be better than this, better than herself.

It was all an act between the two of them, it just wasn't sure who would come out the winner, and Emilia would be damned if she did not rise victorious.

song of choice while writing: look who's inside again by bo burnham

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