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chapter eleven.
"It's your fault!
"It is not!"
"It absolutely is your fault, Sirius!" Emilia growled as she stormed out from the library where Madam Pince had nearly chased them from, feeling as if she might trail a blaze behind her as she rushed out of the place during the midst of the growing commotion and chaos that had ensued.
Emilia's mortification grew tenfold as curious students cast the odd pair looks as they practically ran away with Sirius all but dragging her by the arm, some heading in the direction of the source of the noise; her legs picked up their pace in order to get further away from it, outrunning Sirius and pulling her arm away from him all the while she continued shoving her books and notes into her bag, not caring she might crumple the paper with the amount of force she was handling them with.
Sirius easily managed to keep up with Emilia's running pace, looking the complete opposite to his reluctant running partner and not even hiding the fact he seemed far too pleased with himself, that wolfish grin on his mouth as the redness in his face that had seeped in due to his out of breath laughter began to drip away but the mischievous smile remained all the same.
Emilia knew he was used to being around trouble and when there was none, he would make it but she couldn't actually believe him. Emilia was a flurry of bustling robes as she ignored the burning ache in her legs that her muscles were soaking up in order to remove herself entirely from the vicinity, wanting nothing more than to be a hundred meters away from the library.
Sirius still had yet to step sniggering under his breath and she might have given him a kick if her body wasn't working itself into overdrive to get Emilia to a safe spot.
She couldn't believe him – no, that was a lie, Emilia could believe that Sirius would go out of his way to get into trouble only for him to end up dragging her into it.
It had been fine at first – he had actually worked quietly across from her, his long legs brushing up against her crossed ankles, flipping through pages and his notes as he started an essay he had due for Runes by the end of the week (and there he was - only starting it on Wednesday, which Emilia did have to give him credit for since he seemed to work as if he had a month to complete it). She had started Slughorn's essay, finished the one due for History of Magic and read up what she needed to for her research in Herbology until Emilia realised would need a book before she could start her research into the question.
She had given Sirius a quick tap with her foot against the calf of his leg to grab his attention, and his head had sprung up, completely under the focus of working, a look she had never had the privy of witnessing until that moment, as Emilia dropped her voice to a soft whisper, cupping her mouth to make sure the sound wouldn't be picked up by Pince's inhumanely, sharp hearing. "I'm going to go get a book."
Emilia supposed her first mistake was expecting Sirius to actually behave himself as he gave a nod and she stood, smoothing down her skirt as she squinted her eyes to find the section she needed on flora and fauna.
The library was quite empty for a Wednesday afternoon, save for her and Sirius, a scattering of Hufflepuffs, a few Ravenclaws, and two Slytherins who had been sitting behind them. Emilia had felt the latter pair shooting both she and Sirius glances that soon turned into glares that made her recoil underneath, chipping away at what spine she might have had to use in standing unfazed by their scowls, wishing they would just leave them alone; Sirius' back was to them and he didn't even seem to know that they were under scrutiny. Part of Emilia left the table to get out from under their gaze but had felt their eyes follow her until she disappeared behind a shelf, relief flooding in as she tried to push their eyes from her mind, how they were filled with so much fire and fury and unfathomable hatred.
Emilia didn't want to think about their staring – maybe it was just because she was sitting with known Slytherin hater Sirius Black or… she didn't even want to think about the pure blood fanatics that were popping up more and more since it left Emilia's stomach feeling as if a wire was wrapping itself around it and making her lose all sense of appetite and under threat she might throw up what little she had eaten so far.
No, it was best to handle it the way she handled many of her problems - pretend the didn't exist so she could pretend they didn't affect her. It had worked for the past seventeen years of her life, so what wasn't broke, she would not dare to mess with.
Just as Emilia had been having trouble finding the title she was looking for, a sudden shout shattered the silence and exploded around them – a shout.
In the library.
That definitely was not good.
Emilia had silently begged that Sirius didn't have anything to do with it even though she knew it was hopeless and that her prayers would go unheard.
Emilia had rushed back to where she and Sirius had situated themselves, the yelling growing louder and Pince's hissing for silence turning into her sharply screeching for people to calm down; as Emilia turned around the bend of the shelf, she just knew it was her luck that she had managed to invite Sirius to hang out on today of all days.
One Slytherin lay on the ground, hands over both of his ears and there was pool of strange goo around him and Emilia gawped as she realised it was coming from his ears as he was desperately trying to either keep it in or hide that it was pouring out of him; the other Slytherin was being held at the collar by Sirius' fist and he was turning the same shade of green as his tie and the puddle goo his friend lay in, his glasses lying crooked on the bridge of his nose.
"You!" screeched Madam Pince and Emilia's hand was over her mouth, watching the scene unfold as Sirius' head flew towards the furious librarian who was steadily turning pink, then ruby before finally settling on a deep, dark burgundy colour and Emilia had to blink as she was unsure if the steam was screaming out of her ears was a result of her hallucinating it or if it was truly real, the old librarian looking fit to explode.
The Slytherin on the ground was yelping, crying for help and as Pince tried to step over the boy to get her claws on Sirius, the Hexed boy grabbed her skirt and was begging for her to help him; in the brief stand-down between Sirius and Pince, Emilia was unsure who would pounce first until Pince broke away to help the sobbing Slytherin and Sirius took the distraction to throw the one he had clutched by the collar to the ground, not caring that the boy's head met the floor with a cracking noise before he promptly slumped.
It seemed a daring escape was what was on Sirius' cards and Emilia stood slack jawed in disbelief that she had only turned away for two minutes and he had managed to turn the place upside down and get into a fight with two other students though it was hardly equal; those poor boys never stood a chance against him.
Pince was trying to do damage control, switching between trying to calm the simpering Slytherin before turning to curse Sirius that he would never be allowed to step foot inside the library again but her words fell on deaf ears as Sirius shoved his things into his pockets and under his arms, not forgetting Emilia's stuff and reaching over to grab those too as the owner was currently rooted to the spot from where she had turned around the corner and had watched the entire thing unfold with disbelief.
His hair was as wild his eyes and his cheeks were splotched with speckles of pink, his long legs taking even longer strides as he grabbed Emilia's things and placed them in her arms that reacted just in time before the contents therein would spill out on the ground.
"Time to go!" he wheezed.
Her eyes were darting back and forth and saw Madam Pince slip and fall backwards in the strange puddle. "You can't be serious!"
"I'm always Sirius!" He wasted no time in grabbing Emilia by the crux of her elbow, and forced her to look away from the train wreck before promptly bustling her out of the library, pulling her along with him.
If Pince didn't think the two were associated before, she certainly did now.
Those were his last words before Sirius pushed Emilia into a jog and then a run as she was forced to keep up, Pince's shouts and shrieks behind them following the two out the door, carrying on the wave of shocked silence as they barrelled down the hall.
Eventually, Emilia's brain caught up with her after being the one thing Sirius left behind as he had packed their table up and the absolute mortification she felt at realising Pince more than likely saw Emilia as an accomplice than an unfortunate bystander dawned on her.
She never even got the book she needed for her Herbology essay.
Once they were far away, out of breath and her chest burning in a way that no amount of gasping for air cured it, Emilia cast him a glare through her eyelashes as she hunched over, hands on her knees and sweat along her hairline, feeling cold in its efforts in trying to cool her down and she knew her face was crimson, cheeks shining like ripe cherries. Sirius leaned against the wall next to her, hand on his chest and that grin still not yet gone from his mouth as he sucked in waves of breaths, pooling in his lungs before he turned towards her, that glimmer in his eyes not yet gone and it reminded her of the sharp edge of a knife.
"You," Emilia gasped, throat dry and cracking her words, face pinching into a wince as her hand went to her side as the sting of a stich sprung up. She was sure that that was the most amount of exercise she had done in years. "This is all your fault."
A breathy sparkle of laughter left Sirius as he stared down at her suffering form, already recovering from their escape and she damned him for that alone. Emilia could taste the salt on her upper lip on her tongue and stood up, turning away from him to conspicuously drag her sleeve under her nose, the back of her hand trying to wipe away the sweat clinging to her brow before she swivelled back to him with a glower.
"What makes you think that? You know she's had it out for me ever since Remus, James and I Charmed the books to have them singing Hoggy Warty Hogwarts whenever they were opened back in Third Year," he told her, the memory bringing a fond smile to his eyes.
"You literally Hexed that Slytherin!" Emilia accused, knowing she didn't have to see it with her own eyes to know he did it and he didn't seem to balk at the blame being put onto his shoulders, knowing full well he had no defence for it.
"Oh, that?" Sirius snorted, brushing her concern away as he pushed himself off the wall to make his way to the nearest bench to sit down on, Emilia following as if she were on a string and he held the other end in his hand. "That was harmless."
"Sirius, he has snot coming out of his ears," she said, though at least she hoped it was snot because she didn't want to think about what other possible bodily fluid was leaking out of that Slytherin's ears. The thought left a rancid taste in her mouth that she pushed away, knees weak as she all but fell into the spot that was free next to Sirius, jostling his arm and feeling all too jelly legged and fit for bed.
"No different than what comes out of his mouth," he grumbled under his breath before turning to Emilia with an expression that was far from being sheepish. "He won't die! At least, I think he won't since it's not coming out of his mouth which means he can't possibly choke on it. Probably."
Emilia shook her head at Sirius, strands of her hair clinging to the back of her damp neck as she leaned up against the wall, unable to muster the strength to sit her spine up straight by herself. Sirius mimicked Emilia, the two stretching their legs out before them with Emilia's barely even reaching half the length his did as they evened out their synchronised breathing. "I can't believe you, honestly."
"Oh, come on," he said, turning to face her and Emilia met his gaze, taking in the way his curls stuck to his forehead, kissing his temple and Sirius somehow managed to look as handsome as always despite being sweaty and pink in the face. "You have to admit it was funny."
"It wasn't," she disagreed but it wasn't wholly the truth. There was something rather humorous about watching the Slytherin who had been glaring at her flail about as he lay on the ground, breaking down into sobs and clutching at Pince's skirt like a little child.
Not that Emilia would ever tell Sirius that. She was afraid if his ego were to inflate anymore his head might explode entirely.
"It was and you know it," Sirius crooned, knocking his elbow against her as he leaned his face forward, eyes quick to pick out the way Emilia pressed her lips together tightly in order to prevent a smile blooming across her mouth. She turned away from him, teeth taking to biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from giving him the reaction he wanted but it was too late, he was quick to discern how much effort she was putting into not smiling that he knew he had won. "Come on, I can see you want to smile. It's okay, you can tell me how you think I'm the most handsomest, smartest and funniest lad you know."
His finger poked the side of her arm, each one increasing and becoming more frequent until Emilia relented and turned to look at Sirius again. The rush of red in his cheeks was slipping away and his breathing was steadying, grey eyes curved as he saw Emilia reluctantly let the corners of her lips turn upwards, the quirk causing her to instantly turn away from him at the traitorous action. "I regret asking you to come with me. Now she's going to hate me."
"Oh please, she hates any and every student," he snorted. "Not Moony though, he got on her good side – if she even has one – in First Year and has been sweetening her up to get into the Restricted Section."
Moony? Emilia wondered, trying to think if there was any person in their year named that, though came up with nothing. Surely no parent would name their child such a ridiculous thing. "I'm never asking you to go anywhere with me ever again."
"Oh it wasn't that bad, you're blowing things out of proportion," Sirius insisted but quickly closed his mouth when Emilia tossed him a sharp look. "At least I managed to get all my homework done."
She sat straight on the bench, shoulders turned slightly as she glared back at him, features taking on an upset expression that was much like a petulant child throwing a hissy fit about how everything was unfair. "I didn't!"
"Oh," Sirius said with a pause before clicking his tongue, arms crossing over his chest as he gave a lame lift of his shoulders as if to say tough luck. "That is shite."
A huff left Emilia, catching on a thin strand of hair that was caught between her eyelashes, as she could feel her expression slipping more into a sulking territory, a scowl rippling across her mouth as she tried not to cast Sirius an accusatory look over her shoulder but failed, shaking her head at him.
Emilia hoped to whatever otherworldly being that there was that she wouldn't be dragged into this mess along side Sirius, praying that Madam Pince's tunnel vision didn't catch sight of her face or the fact that Sirius had grabbed her arm and ran off with her.
A groan left Emilia, hands going to cover her face as her voice became muffled as it tried to speak through her fingers. "I won't be able to show my face there for weeks now because of you."
She felt something hover over her shoulder, a ghost of a touch that meant to comfort her but it pulled away as Sirius gave a tut at her complaint. "You're fine! Don't get worked up over it. She knows you're innocent and wouldn't do anything that I would do. Plus, she's never been able to stop me from getting in."
A snort left Emilia as she pulled her face away from her cradled hands, looking back at him with a lighter expression on her face, his words somewhat helping in coaxing the worry that was wringing her heart in her chest to dissipate slightly.
Emilia supposed that standing as an unknowing accessory to Sirius' mischief wasn't the worst thing that Madam Pince had witnessed in all her tenure as librarian at Hogwarts. "Lord knows she's tried."
"You're right, she has," Sirius agreed with a chuckle, a wicked grin snapping across his mouth as if it were the most natural thing for him. Smiling always seemed to come easy to Sirius, it was as if he knew nothing else than to do so, even if sometimes it didn't reach his eyes. It reminded Emilia of when she was forced to smile for her aunt's friends before the woman got kicked out of the group after accusing another member of sleeping with her husband; she had been right, of course, but it was a secret best kept in its place under the rug with all the other dirt. "Put a petition to ol' Minnie and Dumbledore two years ago and raged when they told her not sufficient damage was done for me to be banned. I've taken that as a challenge."
"After all that you've done," Emilia sighed, shaking her head at his words. She was learning that surprises were a add along as a result of Sirius' company, and she even if she knew not what they were, she learned to expect them; though she became frighteningly aware that this was because she was learning to know him – his character, his behaviour and her predictions came from past actions. "I'm almost afraid to see what more you could do."
That sharp grin turned into something with less edge as he directed it towards her, giving Emilia a wink on top of it as if it were muscle memory for him. "I'm just full of surprises."
Emilia wanted to tell him that perhaps he was not as impulsive as he thought himself to be but then again, she had only been speaking to him for just over a week and she was learning against her will all things Sirius Black.
Emilia stared off into the distance, focusing on a particular brick that stood out from the wall opposite them that seemed darker, older than the other stones. Even despite the fact Emilia was learning more of Sirius' character, he still managed to make her feel as if she was always behind his racing mind, that she was locked out of really understanding him and she thought back to what led them here, sitting side by side with their shoulders brushing up against one another, ghosting touches that left them jumping away whenever they settled too close to each other.
What did Emilia know about Sirius? She knew about surface level things, information she had gleaned from other mouths when no one thought she was listening, from Sirius as he talked to her in fear of being swallowed up by the silence she greeted him with; simple things like he was annoyingly smart, probably smarter than her, but he never acted like it, didn't become snobby over the fact he was one of the best in their year, he was great at Quidditch but seemed to get out of breath rather quickly. She had noticed that he took to running his hands through his mop of curls when in thought or frustrated, not to mention Sirius ate like a dog with his laughter sounding like the barking of one too, he had terrible writing and he found it easy to switch between writing with his right and left hand. He had seventeen freckles over the bridge of his nose and he kept his wand in his back right back pocket of his school pants, not caring about the possibility that he might sit down and snap it in two.
But every time Emilia thought she was getting to know him, getting used to him, another layer peeled back and she was left floundering.
She thought about the morning, at how Sirius had snarled at Severus to piss off to another table, how he had Hexed that boy in the library, holding the other up by the collar of his shirt as if he weighed nothing.
Emilia could hardly fathom that that Sirius was still the same one who stole her Madam Pomfrey's entire stock supply of plasters when she scraped her knees and palms.
Emilia bunched her skirt up into her hands, fisting them as she mulled over her thoughts, trying to bite back the tongue of curiosity that was taking over her own and threatening to speak lest she keep her mouth closed. Each time she became curious, it was another victory for Sirius and a loss for her, desperately attempting to not let him know just how much of a hold he had on her over just how strange he was of a person.
Even now, he seemed to have become used to Emilia's silence as she wavered in her decision to sate her own curiosity.
Finally, she couldn't take it anymore and decided to take the leap, eyes focusing straight ahead. "Sirius."
"Yeah?" came his response and Emilia dawdled once more with letting the question fall from her lips, before deciding she needed to know.
"Why did you Hex that Slytherin?" she eventually asked him.
Yet again, to her surprise, Sirius did not answer Emilia straight away.
Instead, the silence seemed to prolong itself as he refused to give her a reply until she turned to look at him, watching the way his face seemed to flicker with a flurry of emotions, before settling into something as cold and hard as the stone resting in the wall opposite Emilia. He gave a shrug and seemed unable to meet her eyes any longer, electing to look elsewhere but her inquisitorial gaze.
Something was bothering him and he was trying his best to hide it. "Why not?"
Emilia might have left it at that but pushed further. "You don't just… walk around Hexing random people."
"You're right, I don't," Sirius said and his voice was sharper, laced with something, a cold repulsion and she could see the way his hands were curled, the skin on his knuckles stretching over the bone and turning a pale yellow, a colour reminding Emilia of the dead daffodils that used to grow in the dirt in her mother's back garden.
The switch in his mood was instant, a dead weight as he continued to refuse look at Emilia and she felt as if she was treading thin ice, feeling it threaten to crack beneath her feet as she tried to carefully manoeuvre her way through this fragile territory to get to solid land on the other side. "So… what did he do?"
Sirius sucked in a sharp breath, the gust of air cutting through his chest and Emilia could see the muscle jumping in his jaw from how tightly he was clenching it, as if the memory of what had happened for such a thing to occur was playing over in his mind. "You don't want to know."
"Why, because I have such a fragile, female constitution that I need you to protect me?" Emilia said, trying to lighten the mood but it left Sirius unaffected and it plucked a string of worry in Emilia that even Sirius would not rise to join in on joking. "Sirius, just tell me. It can't be that bad."
A sign bled from his nose and his grey eyes flickered back to Emilia, appearing as if she was pulling words from his mouth like they were teeth. "He… Well… Shite."
God, his reluctance to speak made that worrying feeling worse. If Sirius Black didn't want to speak, then it must be really bad. "Sirius?"
Another sigh, then a hand rubbing over his face before it trailed up to rake his fingers through his hair, a groan leaving him before his shoulders slumped in defeat and he finally acquiesced to her request for answers. "I was eavesdropping on their conversation, between him and the other prick, and I heard… well, they called you…"
His voice trailed and there it was – that apologetic look in his eyes, something pleading with her to not have him say it and Emilia felt it click in her mind.
"They called me a mudblood," she realised and as soon as the word left her mouth, a wince struck like lightening across Sirius' feature at how harsh it sounded coming falling from her lips.
His demeanour changed, the rigidness of his spine falling as he dropped his eyes to his lap and Emilia realised she had made him uncomfortable with saying such a word with a blasé attitude. "You don't have to say it so straightforward like that."
"That's it?" Emilia pushed, wondering if there was more to the story.
Her question confused Sirius as he finally decided to look up to meet her eyes, mouth opening once, twice and a third time as he tried to make sense of Emilia's words. "Should there be anything more?"
This time, Sirius left Emilia confounded as she came to the realisation of the weight of his words even if he had not explicitly owned up to it.
"Sirius. I don't care."
Sirius looked startled at her declaration, furiously blinking as he soaked in her words. "You… don't?"
Emilia shook her head, strands of her hair dancing around her at the action. "No, I don't. Not about them or anything they've ever said to my face or behind my back."
Somehow, despite the words coming from her mouth, it felt as if she was more so trying to convince herself, rather than him. A frown began to settle on Sirius' face as if displeased at what she had said. "I mean, just because you don't care doesn't mean they should calling people that disgusting word. You don't deserve that."
It was as if a hand had punched her chest from the inside out and left her reeling, heaving for breath as her mind turned to ash save for one solid thought: Sirius had stood up for her – he had gone out of his way to risk getting God knows how many weeks of detention from Pince because someone had called her a mudblood.
Her voice wilted in her throat as her fisted hands relaxed, unable to do much but stare at him, mauve lips parted as a shuddering breath rushed through her and the light behind Sirius shifted entirely, casting him in a blanket of gold that crowned him, his silver eyes not breaking from hers as the last echo of his words died out.
You don't deserve that, he had said and Emilia didn't understand, didn't understand why he said that or why he even stuck up for her because she had been putting up with this, the glares, the whispers of mudblood and the snide remarks long before she ever came to Hogwarts.
Emilia couldn't even remember a time where she ever thought her school years would be the best time of her life.
It wasn't as if Emilia believed she deserved the attitude that she was greeted with from her peers, but she had never questioned it, either. It had simply been something she put up with as a mild nuisance, with Marina Teagrass' unkind jabs about Emilia, how the pure blood fanatics would follow her and other Muggleborn's down the Hall as if they were looking for a chance to jump them.
She had put up with it because she had no other choice – a passive response to life as it continued on around her and now someone else was deciding that that was enough.
Emilia had spent her entire life being submissive to everything happening around her – her childhood, her mother and her drinking, the way her aunt would spit she was just like her mother, when the kids in her old primary school would make fun of her clothes that were always too big for her and how her accent wasn't posh like theirs. But Sirius was different than her and he didn't seem to understand that part of her just… didn't care anymore about any of it all, that none of these people or their words mattered to her anymore, that ignoring them meant that they couldn't hurt her.
And yet he had been so offended on her behalf Emilia wondered if it was wrong her to not care, especially when he had gone through the lengths to show…
To show that he did – that Sirius Black… he seemed to actually care about what was said about Emilia.
No, that was ridiculous. They've barely known each other for over a week despite being in the same year for seven years. It was just as he said, he was showing them the consequences of their actions for saying such a disgusting word and doing so probably made them think twice before snarling mudblood at someone else.
The murmur of a crowd startled them both as students began spilling out, calling an end to class and Emilia looked away from Sirius, not realising how long the two had been holding eye contact with one another and it left her flustered, a quickening in her chest as her heart stuttered beneath her ribcage. Around them, people were heading to lunch in a rush, nearly causing a stampede as they jostled others around, all the while Emilia and Sirius remained seated, watching the crowd in silence before it started thinning out.
Emilia was unsure of what else to say, fidgeting with the hem of her skirt as her hair fell from behind her shoulders, a curtain that hid her face from Sirius' sharp gaze as she caught the way his fingers that wrapped around the edge of the bench began to drum themselves along the underside of it.
Suddenly, he cleared his throat, jumping to his feet and giving an airy laugh to brush away the heavy blanket that had covered the two of them, one whose threads were consisted of something that remained unspoken between them. "Morgana's knickers, finally it's time for lunch. I'm absolutely starved for food."
Emilia's eyes dragged up to his standing form and she knew that any longer and the moment would pass and she needed – she needed to make this leap, this jump to get to the other side and her heart was tripping over itself in her chest, falling up into her throat as she tried to force her voice around it, to scrape out a sound that would not come. Her hands once more took to wringing her fingers around one another, outwardly projecting her own inner turmoil as she tried to say something, anything.
He was saying something, talking to the air for Emilia could not hear anything over the static of her own thoughts as she watched his mouth move, trying to do the same but nothing coming out.
Why was this so hard, why couldn't she say a simple thank you to him? She had been doing that an awful lot lately – thanking him, that is. She had nothing else to offer him but her thanks and felt it fell short an awful lot of the time and now she was frightened it would be so once again despite how desperately she wanted to get through to him, to let him know that, that –
Suddenly, Sirius turned to go, taking a step away from Emilia and her hand moved of its own accord when it reached out and took a hold of his sleeve, jumping to her feet and tugging back on his arm until he stopped, twirling around to look down at where she had him anchored. The action was immediately retracted, a flush blooming in her cheeks as she felt that dry ache in her throat again, nervous as a puzzled look began to grace Sirius' handsome features, moulding and morphing into something that was undeniably anticipation as he waited for her to speak up.
His eyes were waiting on the precipice as Emilia tried to push out her words, feeling awkward looking up into his eyes but making herself do so nevertheless, hoping it would get her sincerity across. His eyes were catching on the light of the sun, a golden touch caressing his eyelids and fracturing the grey of his irises.
Emilia couldn't help but note how pretty they looked.
A rush of air left her that eventually caught onto her voice, dragging it out alongside it, a sudden gush of her gratitude that left her feeling nearly breathless. "Sirius. Thank you. For standing up for me. I might not necessarily agree but… I understand it. And I'm grateful for it. So, thank you."
Emilia was left feeling hot in the face, feeling it spread to her ears and setting them alight as her cheeks took on the shade of bright red apples, something wrapping itself around her throat in choking hold that felt all too like her own murmuring, racing heart as her hands continued to mangle themselves around one another. Maybe he wasn't the only one who left the other surprised as Sirius looked as if her words were the last things he would have thought to fall out of her mouth. He hadn't expected Emilia to offer him her gratitude freely, to give it to him without any coercion, pulling, or sarcasm.
Emilia could not bear to look at him in the eye as she turned a brighter shade of burgundy underneath his gaze, electing instead to move her eyes down at the way the sun stretched out their shadows until they overlapped with one another. She had left him speechless, albeit only for a drawn out heartbeat but she had actually managed to leave Sirius Black with no words to say.
It was an accomplishment she felt was worth being proud of.
With her eyes glued to Sirius' shadow, she watched as it jumped forward and Emilia only looked up in time before there was a warmth pressed to her side, something slung over her back and resting on her shoulders. Sirius' body was pressed to Emilia's, her own tucked underneath his arm as he pulled her up against him in an action that was not entirely a hug, not quite, but similar in fashion, a friendly touch that left her helpless as his shadow covered her own entirely and left Emilia having to crane her neck up in an uncomfortable manner to meet his eyes.
It was his turn now to leave her without her voice as Emilia's scattered brain realised that she was entangled under his arm, how the smell of him surrounded her completely – of fresh air, of pine, a musky cologne that lingered in his robes. He smells nice, ran through her mind before she swatted it away out of mortification as her feet were made to walk against her will, stumbling over one another and forcing her further up against Sirius to steady her body as they picked up their pace. She didn't want to think about what someone might think at the sight – of how quickly the gossip would spread over Sirius having his arm around Emilia and holding her up against him.
"You ever need me to make someone vomit up snot, I'll always be there for you," he grinned, looking down at her and Emilia was quick to duck out from under his arm, smoothing her hair that got caught on his sleeve. He didn't seem offended at her distancing herself from him, not looking bothered that she wasn't quite comfortable enough to have his arm wrapped around her and to have her tucked into his side.
Despite pushing herself away from him, Emilia kept herself close as they continued to walk side by side. "That sounds so Godawful that I wouldn't want anyone to experience that."
"I actually did do that once, except it was ear wax," he told her, launching into the story with vigour as he recounted the incident that landed a poor Fifth Year Ravenclaw, two Hufflepuffs and three Slytherins in the infirmary with the affliction all the while Emilia listened intently, pulling faces at his graphic descriptions of the entire ordeal.
Making their way to the Great Hall, Emilia could not help but to remark how, to any outsider who had no knowledge of their strange relationship, that both she and Sirius would appear to be friends and perhaps, if things were different – if she were different – they might have been just that.
early update bc i have a 21st tomorrow and will be getting absolutely fluthered to the point i am presumed dead, enjoy!
song of choice while writing: pink in the night by mitski
Thanks for reading!