Konohamaru decided that he perhaps regretted this.
The tiny, red faced, screaming baby was sat in his crib, with Konohamaru sat cross legged on the floor staring at him, wracking his brains for ideas.
He had none.
It wasn't fair! He was fifteen, and a capable shinobi! He could do this! Big brother Naruto had put his faith in him! He couldn't let him down! It was the first time Naruto and Hinata were both away on missions since Hinata's maternity leave had began, over six months ago. Technically Hinata wasn't required to go back to work for until Boruto was a year old, but she'd gone "stir crazy" (her words, not his) at being stuck at home, so had demanded Lord Sixth give her a mission, and after much back and forth, he'd relented to send her on a B rank with Naruto. When they were unable to find a babysitter on such short notice (Hanabi was away on a mission, Hiashi spoiled the four month old, giving him enough candy to feed a small village, so he was always a no unless supervised), Konohamaru had volunteered. It was an opportunity to spend time with the kid, and prove himself a worthy big brother (he'd been given the honorary title by Naruto. He was over the moon).
Only, it was proving harder than he'd thought. Boruto had started crying earlier that afternoon, and no matter what Konohamaru tried, he wouldn't stop. Feeding, changing his diaper, rocking him, chattering to him. Nothing. He wouldn't stop crying. And Konohamaru wanted to tear his hair out with frustration. He was failing. He sighed. It was time to throw in the towel and admit defeat to a four month old.
He pulled out his phone and dialed Naruto. It rang out. Konohamaru sighed. Big brother Naruto was notorious for not checking his phone. He rang again. It was answered this time. By Hinata!
"Konohamaru? What's the matter?" Hinata's voice had come through, worried. He was only supposed to call them in an emergency, after all.
Konohamaru was sure she could hear the crying. "He won't stop crying, Hinata. I've tried everything, but nothing's working!"
"Have you tried taking him for a walk?" Naruto's voice came tinnily through the speaker. "It calms him down most of the time. He likes the fresh air, I think."
"Uh, I'll try, I guess," Konohamaru mumbled, glancing back at the screaming child.
Brat.
…
Thirty minutes later, Konohamaru was trekking through the woods surrounding Konoha's borders. Boruto was calm, even giggling, grabbing at Konohamaru's scarf, hair, the leaves, and just about anything he could reach. Despite the occasional painful tug on his hair, Konohamaru found himself grinning down at the baby. He was glad Naruto and Hinata trusted him. They were what one might call… helicopter parents. Naruto having lost his parents as a baby, Hinata getting kidnapped cause of old man Hiashi when she was young, plus there were still a lot of people still salty from the events of the war and all. They worried about Boruto. He was little, defenceless. Well, not entirely. He had a damn good set of lungs, that was for sure.
Konohamaru was so immersed in his thoughts he didn't realise it was raining until the first clap of thunder made Boruto scream. Konohamaru yelped, tugging up the hood of his coat and dragging Boruto underneath his jacket to shield him from the rain. He glanced around, eyes landing on an old wooden bus stop. It would give them shelter from the rain, but also worst case scenario it was open sides in case it got struck by lighting. Ha! Hanabi could suck it! He was responsible.
Boruto still babbled once they were out of the rain, and Konohamaru crouched down on the floor, holding the baby close. It was warm, it being late June, but Konohamaru knew from the extensive briefing he'd been given by Hinata that babies could get sick easily, so Konohamaru didn't want him getting wet. Summer storms around Konoha tended to be brief, so he decided he'd try to wait it out. Shouldn't take long.
…
Konohamaru had been sorely mistaken. An hour had passed and he was still crouched in the bus stop. He sighed. Boruto had passed out, tiny fingers curled around his scarf. Man, babies were adorable. He was jolted from his thoughts by a car pulling up outside the bus stop.
"Hello? Is somebody there?"
Konohamaru jumped up, careful not to jostle Boruto, to see the speaker. It was a man, maybe in his fifties, wearing a Konoha headband.
"Can I help you, sir?" Konohamaru asked quickly.
"Well, I was about to ask you the same thing young man! What's a boy like you doing out here alone, and with a baby no less?" The man replied, incredulous.
"Ah, I'm just babysitting - out on a walk is all. It's no problem. I'm just waiting out the storm." Konohamaru answered, a friendly smile on his face.
"You're aware the storm isn't due to finish until late, right? It's a long one today," the man said.
God damn it.
"I can give you a ride, if needs be?" The man questioned.
Konohamaru pursed his lips. Seemed a good offer. He didn't want to walk home in the rain, not with Boruto. Nor did he want to crouch in a bus stop for several hours. He glanced at the man's headband.
"Sure, thanks."
The man opened up the backseat, and Konohamaru jumped it. There was a baby seat already inside, and the man gestured to it.
"Please, I use it for my grandson. We all know how fragile babies can be."
Konohamaru nodded, grateful, and strapped the cooing Boruto in. Then, he slid in himself, shutting the door and pulling on his seatbelt.
They'd only been driving for ten minutes when all of Konohamaru's exhaustion caught up on him, and he drifted off to sleep.
…
Konohamaru awoke to being dragged out of the car. The rain was still going, harsher than before, blinding him. He could see Boruto in the backseat, crying out and reaching for him. But whatever it was that had a grip on him was relentless. Suddenly, something was slipped around his neck, something slim, and was quickly tightened. He grasped at it, but it was too small. His blood ran cold. A garrotte. He was being strangled.
He tried desperately to slip his fingers between the garrotte and his neck, but he couldn't. It was too tight. He lashed out, trying to hit whoever had attacked him. Somebody hissed into his ear:
"Shut it, kid. You have any idea what that baby's worth? A fortune, that's what! And if you won't take advantage of that, I will." The man from before. Damn it! Konohamaru had let his guard down, and now he was paying the price for it. Stupid, stupid!
He swung his head back, hearing a satisfying crack as the back of his head collided with the man's nose. He jumped away, punching him in the face, before dragging the garrotte off his neck, gasping and choking. He pulled out a Kunai, facing the man.
"I won't let you take him," Konohamaru said. God, he sounded awful. His voice was raspy - worse than when he got the flu. Hanabi would never let him live it down.
"Really, kid? You think you can stop me? I'll fucking kill you, got it?" The man laughed.
Konohamaru braced himself. Waiting for the blow. The man pulled out a knife, and lurched at Konohamaru. He'd been fast. Faster than anyone Konohamaru had faced before. He barely managed to swing his kunai up to block the blow, and the force of it jarred his arm. The man sliced the knife down, slashing Konohamaru's stomach, eliciting a hiss of pain.
Blow, after blow. Block after block. All Konohamaru had time to do was defend. He didn't get the chance to fire his own shot. Until he did.
He brought his kunai up, into the man's singular unguarded spot - and he went down like a stone, kunai forming a fountain of blood at his neck. Konohamaru felt his heart drop.
He'd killed him. He took a few deep breaths, staring up at the treeline as the rain washed the blood away. He didn't have a clue where he was. The car was still open, so Konohamaru stumbled back over, slamming the back door shut and dragging himself into the front seat. Faced with Boruto's wailing, he reached back, unbuckling the baby and pulling him into the front seat, laying him across his chest. He turned the keys in the ignition, switching on the heater to dry himself off, and locking the car. He was so… tired. He fumbled for his phone, and pulled it out. He winced. No wonder it was so dark. It was almost eight o'clock. He quickly dialled Naruto, trying not to pass out as he waited for him to pick up.
"Konohamaru? What's up?" Naruto's voice was calm, easygoing.
"Naruto… are you able to come pick me up? Something- something happened. I'm out in the woods… somewhere. I'm not sure," Konohamaru was well aware of how awful he sounded, so it had likely just been wishful thinking that Naruto wouldn't notice.
"Konohamaru?" Yeah, worried now. "Did something happen? Are you two okay?"
"I, uh, trusted the wrong person. We're fine, don't worry. Boruto's fine."
"Are you fine, Konohamaru?" Naruto insisted.
"Yes," Konohamaru insisted.
"Fine, be stubborn. I'm on my way, I'll come find you two." Naruto replied.
"Mmkay," Konohamaru mumbled.
And then, unable to keep his eyes open any longer, he drifted off again.
…
Konohamaru woke up to bright lights in his face. He groaned, bringing up his arm to cover his eyes. He dragged himself up, wincing at the pain in his stomach. He glanced down, seeing significantly more than the thin red line that had been there earlier. Well, that wasn't good. He squinted out through the windshield, and there was a car facing him, headlights blaring. It was too bright to make out the number plate, but people were getting out. Konohamaru couldn't see a thing. But then the figure came up and knocked on the window.
Naruto.
Konohamaru smiled tiredly, and unlocked the car. Naruto opened the door Konohamaru was leaned against, catching him and pulling him out. Konohamaru let out a hiss of pain, and Naruto worriedly asked him what was wrong.
"It's nothing, Naruto, just a little cut," he mumbled. Why did he feel so tired? He wanted to lie down on the floor and never get back up.
"That's not little, Konohamaru!" Hinata cried. When had she gotten here? Wait… two figures… "wait- wh- where's Boruto..?"
"He's right here, Konohamaru, don't worry," Hinata said.
Oh, okay then.
And then he passed out again.
…
When Konohamaru woke up, he was sprawled across the sofa back and Naruto and Hinata's apartment. He pushed himself up, wincing a little, and glanced around.
"Konohamaru! You're awake!" He turned to see Naruto walking towards him, smiling. "You feeling okay?"
"Uh, yeah, I feel fine. Um, is Boruto..?"
Naruto gave a small smile. "Yeah, he's fine, don't worry. You did a great job. Thank you. For protecting him."
"Well, he's kinda like my little brother, you know? I'm not gonna be his uncle, it makes me sound old," Konohamaru jested.
Naruto barked out a laugh. "I'm older than you, Konohamaru! What are you trying to say?"
Naruto ruffled his hair, and Konohamaru let out a noise of indignation. "Want something to drink? You've been out for a few hours."
"That uh, that sounds good, yeah." Konohamaru replied.