Again Thanks to everyone who continues to read and comment. Bobcatwriter, did I say that? I don't remember saying that. Are you seeing hints to that? (Shhhh!) You'll just have to wait and see, but no she went to Minnesota to visit Casey. Promise.
Chapter 57: Differences
Lizzy's plane landed in Minneapolis and though she could have just called up her aunt for a ride, she decided to take a taxi to her aunt's place. Matt had told her despite Bombay's additional paycheck, Casey had decided to stay put in her apartment. She paid the driver and stepped up to the door. She took a deep breath and opened the outside door. Despite advances in technology and security, it seemed that the building hadn't been updated to include those measures. She suddenly stopped in the lobby to keep from running into the older man in front of her.
"Lizzy?" he asked. He tilted his head a bit as though trying to get a better look at her. She didn't blame him. Despite not liking the blonde, she still hadn't managed to get up the courage to change it.
"Hi, Mr. Reed," she answered Fulton's grandfather.
"Wow, you've certainly grown up. Fulton was just telling me how he saw you the other day. He said you looked good."
"Thank you. Do you know if my aunt is home?"
"Yeah, I saw her come in a few hours ago."
"Please, excuse me?" It wasn't that she was looking to get out of this awkward situation, she just really wanted her aunt's advice.
"Of course." Mr. Reed stepped back and Lizzy made her way up the stairs.
She knocked on her aunt's door as she tangled her fingers in her hair. Before she could rethink her decision, the door opened. "Can I help ..." Casey trailed off as Lizzy looked up and their blue eyes met. "Liz. Come in. Wow, this is a surprise. Can I get you something? Gordon and Charlie aren't here. They both should be out in California for the Great Migration." As usual, her aunt looked happy to see her, if not a little surprised. At first, Casey looked like she wanted to hug her but instead just stepped back a little.
"No, I'm alright. I just wanted to talk to you." Lizzy entered and stood beside the door as Casey shut it. Casey motioned to the couch and both women sat down on it.
"So, what would you like to talk about? Clearly it's something big if you couldn't talk about it on the phone."
To her credit, and almost as if she could sense Lizzy had been through something, Casey just sat beside her with her hands in her lap looking interested but not too eager. Lizzy didn't want to admit how much strength that gave her. "Did you regret getting married to Uncle Bill or umm …" Charlie's ex-stepfather's name escaped her at the moment though she wasn't even sure she had met the man.
"Justin?" Casey supplied.
"Right."
"No. I married them because I honestly believed I loved them. Bill gave me Charlie and he taught me I was stronger than I thought I was. Justin taught me that as great as it is to have a man in my life, I didn't really need one to be happy nor for Charlie's sake. Lizzy, do you regret marrying Alex?" Casey asked.
Lizzy's eyes darted around the room as she squeezed her fingers together. Her aunt's decor hadn't really changed, the TV was new and one of the armchairs, but there were some new pictures, to include the painting that hung next to the hallway that led to the bedrooms. It was the painting Lizzy had done of Bombay and Casey for their wedding. Part of her was touched that her aunt had kept it.
"Lizzy?" Casey pressed. That brought her back to the current conversation. Lizzy looked back at her aunt and nodded sadly. "Your dad told me he regretted marrying Alicia so soon after your mom died. Going through divorce is not easy, not even an amicable one. I was glad to have your dad the first time even if I was pissed he paid him off and then Gordon the second time."
"Did they ever ... hurt you?" Lizzy asked.
"No. We argued and fell out of love but not once did they ever lay a hand on me."
"Guess we don't have that in common," Lizzy sniffled. She looked back down.
"Honey," Casey said softly. She gently reached over and took Lizzy's hand. "Would you like to tell me what happened?"
"You want to know everything?"
"I want to know whatever you want to tell me. If that's nothing then so be it. I can tell you what Charlie's been doing or about my divorces or anything you want to know."
Lizzy observed her aunt. She wasn't exactly sure what she was looking for but Casey didn't look like she was being deceptive in any way. It made Lizzy feel like she could trust her. Honestly, it was a bit stupid on Lizzy's part because Casey never did anything for Lizzy to feel like she couldn't trust her. "How did you know you could survive on your own without ..." Lizzy asked softly.
"Without Bill? I had Charlie. I had to survive. We had to survive. Without Justin, it was scary but staying with him felt like going through the motions. I couldn't do that anymore."
"But being a single mom has to be really hard."
"It is but it has the highest pay off. Every time I see something good he does, I feel so proud. I raised that boy."
Lizzy took a deep breath, her eyes trailing over the room. Her eyes landed on a photo sitting on the bookcase across the room. Of course her aunt would have a photo of her little girl. She retrieved the photo and stared at the little girl's face as she sat back down. "The first four months were good. We rushed into it but he really loved me or so I thought. In December, when I still wasn't pregnant, he took a straight razor to my arm. Did it every night for a week when I told him the test results said it was his fault. He can't have kids. After that, things just sorta fell apart. There were ... times where I could barely breathe from what he did to me. More recently, it was just because he could, but it wasn't always like that." She rushed those last six words so her aunt would know the truth and wouldn't rush to judgement on that.
Casey frowned but knew it was important for her niece to get it out. She wanted to say something but didn't figure it would be helpful or very welcome.
"And it wasn't just what he did to my arm," Lizzy said, pulling up her sleeve so her aunt could see the scars. Lizzy was grateful Casey didn't even flinch. "He liked to punch me, here." She motioned from her sternum to her waist. "I was supposed to be in P.T. for my shoulder for six to eight months. He said after four it was taking up too much of my time. Now, if I raise it beyond here," she extended her arm to just below shoulder level and slowly raised it. Just above shoulder level, she winced. "Above there it hurts. Or if I try to lift anything over forty pounds. I didn't want to leave him but I think I had to." Lizzy silently stared at the photo in her lap. It was starting to set in that this had been a good idea; at least getting out was a good idea. She'd have to wait and see where it would lead for her and her little girl.
"Why do you feel like that?" Casey asked. Lizzy tilted the photo towards her. "Ria? Your niece? You've met her?"
"She's ... not," Lizzy said slowly.
Casey kept her tone gentle and curious to not spook her niece or make her shut down. This was a really different side of her niece, a timid one she hadn't seen before but given all that the girl had disclosed, it wasn't a surprise. "Not? Not what, exactly?"
"My niece. She uh ... she just probably looks more like her dad."
Casey stared at her niece. She really had not expected this. Now the question about being a single mom made sense. It seemed there was another part to the story Lizzy still hadn't told her, and though part of Casey remembered where Lizzy had said Lex couldn't have kids, Casey didn't want to push to find out about the baby's father. She was certain she had seen the little girl's big brown eyes somewhere else before, but she could have been mistaken. When Casey had first met the little girl, she had chalked the eye color up to one of Val's parents having brown eyes. She knew that despite Val had blueish-gray eyes, it was possible for eye color to skip a generation or two.
Casey's parents' eyes were blue and hazel while both she and Rob had blue eyes. Despite Bill having brown, Charlie had gotten blue. Rob's kids on the other hand had several different eye colors. Matt had gotten green like his mother while Chris and Lizzy both had blue like their father. Ben and Seth on the other hand had a mix of colors. Casey's dad Antonio had hazel eyes that were mostly blue with flecks of gray and green in them. He had passed those on to Seth though Seth's had brown flecks in them instead of gray and the green was more pronounced. Ben on the other hand had a ring of light brown around the pupil that spiked out almost like a sunburst into the bluer color around the outside. No one could ever explain where the brown had come from for either boy. Now, with what Lizzy had told her, Casey guessed Ria's dark brown eyes came from her unknown father and not from her mother. Well, at least, not the mother Casey had been thinking of.
"She needs me. Ben's great for her and I know he and Val love her very much but she's my little girl and I owe her better."
Casey put the mystery of the little girl's genetics out of her mind to comfort the young woman in front of her. "As long as you're there when you can be, that's better than half the parents out there."
"But she deserves more. She deserves better than I had and I want to give that to her."
Casey smiled. The way Lizzy was staring at the photo of the little girl remind her of the look on Lizzy's mom's face when she looked at her children; full of love and a drive to do the best she could. "That's how I know you're a good mom and that you're going to fight your way through this and make it. He may have beaten you down but you are still, deep down, the girl you have always been. No one can change that. Getting back in touch with that girl is going to take time but anything worth doing is going to take time."
"Would you be upset if I told you I don't know who her father is?" Lizzy glanced at her aunt out of the corner of her eye. Casey did her best to keep all judgement off her face.
"Not upset. Not even angry. Surprised because you've always been the most responsible of the family but we all have our weak moments. Moments where we need to be selfish and not think of the consequences besides your twenties are for figuring out who you are and not being responsible."
"You were 22 when Charlie was born."
"23 actually. I would not change having Charlie, but if I could, I would change when I had him. I knew less about myself as a person when I had him than I probably should have. Your dad would most likely tell you the same thing. He was only 19 when Matt was born."
"I know. He and Mom had five kids before they hit 30."
"Exactly. It's a lot for a young family but with love, they made it work. Until ... until your mom passed. I get that you're going through a lot right now, but life is not always this hard and something I've learned over the last 20-something years of raising my son and having nephews and a niece is: you are never alone. No matter how bad it got for me, I could always pick up the phone and call my brother and more recently Gordon and my mom. We are all here for you, you just have to pick up the phone." Casey reached over and gently laid a hand on Lizzy's. "I will always do my best to be there when you need me. And I shouldn't have to tell you that Gordon would do the same. Once a Duck."
"Speaking of ..." Lizzy swallowed and looked up at Casey. "Do you know why Bombay is in Cali?" Lizzy asked.
"I know he went out a couple weeks ago because Adam called asking for a favor. Gordon called and told me he'd be out there for a while on Duck business shortly after he got there. The Great Migration started yesterday so I expect a call on Monday telling me if he's coming back soon or if he'll be out there longer."
"He didn't tell you what the Duck business was?"
Casey smiled softly. "No. I didn't need to know. Sometimes Duck business is him visiting a Duck to check up on them, especially if they've fallen out of contact but other times it's lawyer stuff and I can't ask about that. I don't need to ask about that. I trust him and I know that if he is doing lawyer stuff out there, like when Rob does, it's because he's trying to help someone and I couldn't be prouder, but it's none of my business."
"Wasn't really Adam that needed help." She explained her run in with Adam, Kenny, and Fulton. Then about Bombay's visit and the divorce. "I just don't know what I'll do if he gets her."
Casey's heart broke. She had gone through the same thing when she thought about leaving Bill. In the early days, she couldn't stop thinking about what she would do if she couldn't see her son, especially since he was so young, but then Rob had stepped in and she had been given full custody and though raising her son alone had been hard, she wouldn't have given it up. "You know your dad could help."
"If it was Texas or Minnesota. He can't handle a case in California." Her dad didn't have a California Law License. One had to take the Bar exam in each state to get a license to practice law in that state and her dad only had three to her knowledge: Minnesota, Ohio, and Texas.
"Maybe not legally as your lawyer but he'd study the law, until he could find a reason to compel the court to legally keep her from him and if he couldn't I'm sure Gordon will, that is, if you decide to tell them."
"Bombay already knows. So do Ben and Val and my divorce attorney, Beth. They're working on it but since I was married there's a chance ... even if he isn't the father. How did you convince Uncle Bill to—I mean—" She looked down again.
"Your dad."
"Because of the money?"
"Your dad contributed to the divorce settlement so that Bill would stop fighting it. He wanted to fight every inch and it killed me and my parents. The money just made him back off. Promise me, swear to me, you will never tell Charlie this."
"Yeah, I swear," Lizzy agreed. She couldn't think of anything that she shouldn't tell Charlie about his parents' divorce that he would still care about since it had happened close to 20 years prior but it seemed important to her aunt.
"Bill never wanted Charlie. Not that he wasn't happy to have a son, Bill loved Charlie when we had him, but when it came to the custody agreement, Bill didn't even want visitation. He was more interested in the money than he was in Charlie. He didn't want to pay child support or alimony or anything like that since my dad was a retired ball player. He thought with my parents' help, I would be fine on my own and honestly I could deal with it and didn't want his money, but it wasn't fair to Charlie."
"Not that Charlie ever missed him as a male role model. What with having an uncle and four older male cousins he could talk to every day."
"That is true. That isn't to say I didn't get anything from him in the divorce because I did but it hurt for a while that he didn't want to spend time with Charlie or know anything about him. I sent Bill a Christmas card every year until Charlie was 10 when it came back unopened with "Return to Sender" stamped in bright red on it. I don't know if Charlie's heard from his father since but Gordon and Rob both keep tabs on Bill so if Charlie were to need something, they'd know where to find him."
"Did he move on?" Lizzy asked, then suddenly wanted to take it back. It was none of her business what had happened to her former uncle and she wasn't even sure Casey would know but Casey answered before she could take it back.
"Yeah. He's had a few girlfriends but no family or anything and he's never reached out."
"Is that why you keep this apartment? So he can find you or Charlie if he wanted to?"
"No. Well, at first, yes, but not anymore. Charlie grew up here and it's home. Could I make a home somewhere else? Sure, maybe closer to my mom or my nephew, but this feels like home and it's all I need for me and Gordon. And Charlie when he comes home."
"Has everyone met her? Ria, I mean? I know Ben's big on family."
"Mostly. Your dad and Michelle, all four of your brothers—"
"Five," Lizzy corrected.
"What?"
"I have five brothers, remember? Though granted he's only like a year older than her. A year? Two years? ... They got married in April of my junior year because it was just before Coach Kurt and I told the Ducks in Chicago just before school started which means he was born in Feb of 2000 and she was born December 2001 so he's almost two years older than her. He would have just turned three in Feb. Right," she muttered to herself as she worked out how old her younger brother was.
"Right, yes, Tyler. He's met her but I'm not sure he knows much past getting to play with her and to be gentle. Anyway, your grandparents, my mom, Nat and Jim, and me and Gordon have all met her. Fulton and Charlie have not because they couldn't make it for Easter and there's always a reason Ben can't make it for Christmas."
"And they all ... everyone thinks she's Ben's?"
"Ben was pretty vague about it but we all surmised she was. Do you plan on telling anyone else? We'd all understand."
"You think I should?"
"That's your decision, Lizzy."
Lizzy stared at her aunt. She knew what the woman wasn't saying, and that was a big, fat yes, in terms that Lizzy should tell the rest of her family, but she also knew that Casey wouldn't make her do anything she wasn't ready for. "And yet you think it's a good one?"
"I think they would understand and love you anyway. You and her both. Everyone loves that little girl. It's hard not to. I don't know why I didn't see it sooner. She walks into a room and she just lights up. I don't think I've ever seen that little girl upset. Except at nap time. Much like you. If anyone ever interrupted playtime to tell you that it was naptime, you'd throw the biggest fit even if you were sleepy. Especially if you were sleepy." Casey squeezed Lizzy's hand. "Honestly, I think everyone would understand and they wouldn't judge you for what happened."
Lizzy got her chance to test that theory the following day. It also came first thing in the morning as she was making omelets for her and Casey. Lizzy had just put both plates on the table when there was a knock on the door. She froze out of habit, hoping it wasn't anyone coming to harm her aunt then drag her back to California.
Casey on the other hand just walked over to the door without a trace of fear. Lizzy wanted to stop her aunt, to tell her that the person on the other side of the door was going to hurt her and she should just ignore it, that they'd go away if they didn't think anyone was home but Casey was pulling open the door before the words could get past the lump in Lizzy's throat. "Oh, hey, come in," Casey said, opening the door and not sounding threatened in the least bit.
Lizzy's eyes darted over her aunt's head and landed on the brunet man in the doorway. Her heart calmed and the lump in her throat went away when she recognized her brother Seth standing there. He had a drink carrier with two cups in one hand and a small box in the other. "Seth," she said softly. "I didn't realize you were coming. Would you like an omelet?" Her hosting persona was kicked back into overdrive and she hated every second of it but it had been necessary to learn to survive.
Seth stared at her for several long seconds before he smiled gently. "It's okay, I brought donuts," Seth answered. Casey hugged him then led him over to the table. "You look good, Liz. How are you doing?" he asked. Everyone took seats to enjoy their breakfast.
She decided to try to be a bit honest with him. While he wasn't the brother she was the closest to, she knew he cared about her. "All right. Well, not exactly I guess; I'm getting better." Maybe Casey was right that her brother would understand but she wasn't sure how he had known to show up and give her a chance to test it.
"Did something happen?" He looked intrigued but also confused.
"Surely Aunt Casey told you when she called," Lizzy pressed a little. She glanced from her aunt to her brother and back. Maybe that's how he had known. Maybe Casey had given him a call the night before and told him that she was in town. Something was ringing a bell in her mind. Lizzy was pretty sure Casey had mentioned something about moving closer to her nephew and Matt was out in California. Maybe Seth lived in Minnesota now. She wasn't sure about that but Seth was talking and it was rude not to listen to him.
"She didn't call me," Seth told her.
"I really didn't, Lizzy. I would never do that. You deserve to tell your story to whomever and however you'd like. I won't take that from you," Casey assured her. "If you want me to tell him, I can do that, but I really think it should come from you, especially when I'm not sure how much you want him to know."
Seth picked up from there. "Since I knew Gordon was out of town, I thought I'd stop by and bring donuts to spend the morning with my favorite aunt."
"You have another aunt who would be disappointed to hear you say that," Casey chided him.
Seth grinned. "Don't worry, I call her that when I drop by to see her too."
If he could just drop by and see their other aunt, their mom's sister-in-law, who Lizzy was pretty sure lived in Alabama, maybe he wasn't the nephew Casey was talking about. Maybe Bombay had a sibling with a kid. Lizzy had to know, so she asked. "Seth, what brings you to Minnesota?"
"Law school," he answered. "You don't remember that?" He gave her a moment to think about it. "After I got my undergrad degree, I came up to U.M. for grad school your senior year of high school while working part time for the firm Dad works for. Just finished my first year as an associate there. Tasha has been teaching at Stillwater Elementary for the last two years. She loves teaching kids art."
She stared in shock. His movie star beautiful girlfriend was teaching art to kids. She couldn't believe that for even a second. Then a small voice from the back of her mind reminded her that books couldn't always be judged by their covers. "I can't see your girlfriend teaching a subject as messy as little kids in art," Lizzy answered.
Seth grinned. "Wife, actually. We got married the summer after your senior year." He looked happier and prouder of that statement than she had seen him look of anything in a long time.
"You did?" she asked in disbelief. She had known that being in California for three years after high school would mean she missed a lot in her brothers' lives but she never thought she'd miss something as big as a wedding. Then again, she had missed Ben's as well. It seemed that Chris, Seth, and Ben had all gotten married within a year of each other. Ben had gotten married the March she had gotten pregnant, approximately a week or two before.
"In July. About a week before your birthday. We eloped. She didn't want the stress that Danni and Star both undertook to get married so she suggested it. We did have dinner afterwards though. I was a little surprised you weren't there. Dad said you were in California and left it at that."
"Yeah. I went in June to visit Lex and then a few weeks later he convinced me to marry him. July 10th. Didn't tell anyone for a week and then only Charlie. He told Dad and Dad freaked."
"I got married a week later," Seth told her. "So, what brings you back to Minnesota? Is—"
Casey coughed and cut him off. "Sorry, something didn't go down right," she apologized. Lizzy was a little grateful that she stopped Seth from saying his name. That was the last thing she really wanted to think about but knew Seth was waiting for some kind of answer.
"A divorce actually. He uh … do you know what Dad does for a living?"
"We all know what Dad does for a living. He's a lawyer."
"Domestic violence divorce attorney." Seth didn't look at all uncomfortable with that. Maybe he had known for a while. Lizzy could remember a time when she, Ben, and Seth all thought their dad was a white-collar crime defense lawyer.
"Yeah. And yes, all of our brothers know that."
"I never thought I'd end up in that situation. He was so good to me until his mom died after Christmas that year. In January, I told him that he couldn't have kids according to the doctor and he … he got worse. It just went downhill from there."
"That's awful, for him. I'm gonna kill him."
"Says the boy who once threw a vase at me," Lizzy muttered.
"Yes, but I missed and apologized multiple times over. Again, I'm sorry. I never should have done that, no matter how angry I was. I'm sorry. So, you're leaving him?"
"Bombay convinced me. Said I deserve better. Maybe I do but … It's never felt so hard."
"And it will. Tasha said the hardest thing she ever had to do was go no contact with her father. She loved him and he was a good dad at times but he was so controlling that the only way to figure out who she was without him, just who she was as a person she had to step back and do it on her own."
"You couldn't help?"
"I wanted to but the biggest lesson I learned was from Aunt Casey. When someone needs to figure themselves out, the best thing you can do for them is hold out a rope for them and hold on to that rope as tight as you can. Always be there to support them. When they're ready to let you in, they'll use the rope to pull you in. You just have to make sure it's there for them. Provide the rope, they'll do the rest," Seth said. "You have my cell phone number; you can call me anytime. I mean that, Liz. I may not be able to pick up all the time, but if you leave a message, I will always answer."
"I don't," she said softly.
"Don't you have your phone?"
"It was one of the first things he destroyed. The less ties to others I had, the more he was in control."
"Ok," he said gently. He reached in his suit jacket and pulled out a card. He flipped it over and, using a pencil from the far end of the table, he wrote a number on the back. "The front has my desk line, the back, the top is mine, the bottom is Tasha's." He handed over the card.
"Thank you."
"Yeah. I have to go to work, but if you're going to stay for a little while, I'd like to get dinner." It definitely felt more like a suggestion than an order but she wasn't sure she was ready for that.
"I don't know when I'm leaving," she said softly. She looked away from him and at her empty plate.
"That's ok. If you aren't ready for dinner then ok. No pressure. I get it."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Anything for my baby sister."
"Thank you."
"Well, I'll be going. Take care of yourself and I mean it, Liz. Call if you need anything," Seth told her.
She glanced up at him and saw he didn't look angry with her. She nodded. "I will," she promised. He dumped the trash in the can then hugged his aunt and left the apartment.