Disclaimer: The characters of Gintama belong to Hideaki Sorachi.
English isn't my first language.
Sometimes, it's necessary to look back in order to move forward
You can decide what's right or wrong as long as you keep moving forward
.
When Kamui looks at Kagura, there's more in his gaze than he'd ever be willing to admit out loud.
His treatment of her is hostile and dismissive, but not indifferent. He finds it impossible to keep up that mask of lies he hides behind when what he wants to forget is right in front of him.
He hits her body hard because he wants to see what she's become; if, in all these years, something changed in her. If something remained or was broken. He wants to see her follow her Yato blood, accept her instincts. But there's one exception; he doesn't want to see her lose control and be consumed by her own lineage.
She's a reflection of himself. Like having two sides of the same coin. A living reminder of everything he buried deep inside and what his future could have been.
When he looks at his sister, Kamui sees that wounded and resentful child. He remembers the raw rage that drove him to confront his father and mutilate his arm.
She represents the weakness in him that he so despises.
The empty space in his chest that did not stop bleeding, and in its place, was mended with a veil of hatred. However, reality fell upon him, shaking his entire body and rekindling the ardor of old feelings that he thought he had removed from his life.
It was not so.
He knew it when, unconsciously, he moved in response to her voice.
He could tell that he had forgotten to pull out the thin roots that coiled around his heart. Perhaps, deep down, he had not wanted to do so.
The imprisoned child cried again and crimson tears dripped from the soaked veil.
After all, I never managed to know which path was the right one
And yet, you remained one of my few weaknesses
.
The memory of those days is still a precious memory for Kagura, after leaving and tearing out the roots of longing that grew in her, and the detached bouquets offered to the ghosts.
In her memory, the rain wet her clenched heart when only the rubble of a crumbling home remained.
Over the years, the girl thinks that she would not mind destroying her body if it could bring back the ghosts of her first home. The girl curled up inside her shell raised her head and noticed soft flashes of light breaking through.
Without expecting it, a familiar scene presented itself before Kagura. Old faces met again and familiar emotions overflowed. She let in hope and became insecure, risking her life.
It was not enough to fight and break her bones to recover the confusing silhouettes of her memories.
Nothing was enough when before her she only found a mirage; That proud boy under the stormy sky, who had a wild expression showing his teeth.
The blood flowing through her veins ran wild in recognition.
The calm inside her stirred, shaking her sanity and pushing her towards the dark abyss. Someone was reaching out their hand in the misty depths.
Anxious heartbeats rumbled, dulling her senses. They called to the one who dwelled within her.
A broken mirror. A reflection of herself watched.
The shadow behind the man in the reflection emerged and climbed onto Kagura's back. The figure was almost her size and clung to her. His sea-like gaze connected with his twin, they were eyes gone from the other side. Surrounded by darkness in the middle of a field of white flowers dotted, she saw him.
She saw the thirsty beast.
Those eyes probed into her, suffocating her. Immersed in murky waters, a vast and unexplored ocean, where it is natural to exist.
Someone whispered in her ear. There was sadness and regret.
The random echoes faded away. In the tense silence, the throbbing of a switch being turned on could be heard. A heavy, disorderly crash as the hungry animal broke the chains that bound it. The locked-up madness bubbled in Kagura's throat, shaking her body.
The boy who hugged Kagura's neck with his bandaged arms suddenly became a man holding her shoulder.
Her brother's torn chest was bleeding, and on his lips, a cruel bloody smile deformed that gentle-looking face.