-XXX-

SAKURA

The quiet sound of the waves breaking on the shore was really soothing. I rested my chin on my bent knees, sitting by the shore by the sea. I was taking in the beauty of the coastline and I was trying to forget about everything. And it wasn't easy at all. Duh...

Seagulls flew over my head in the wind, the water rose and fell in the water surface, and all around was a deeply peaceful atmosphere. It was already autumn, so no one was swimming in the sea and the beach was quiet because there were hardly any visitors. Everything was calm. And I was anything but calm. I felt lost and worried.

I was grateful that aunty Tsunade was no longer trapped in the endless nightmare of her forgotten memories, but I missed her so much. I missed her voice, her laughter, the gentle way she sympathized with me, and the tough way she raised me to be a strong woman who could take care of herself.

I missed those nights when all her friends would get together, drink and have fun. She enjoyed the pleasures of life so much that you wouldn't guess at first glance at her what a strong and determined woman she was and the hardships she went through. And I missed how she helped me with her life experiences even in her ever thinner moments of her fleeting mind.

If she was still here with me, I could talk to her and tell her how I feel. And she'd tell me the brutal truth right away. A truth she never embellished. She'd tell me what to do. But she's not here. She can't tell me what to do anymore.

And I missed my fake husband, too. During the time I lived with Sasuke, I realized that I had fallen in love with him over that time. Yes, for the first time in my life, I fell seriously and truly in love with a man who didn't love me. It was quite ironic.

I was awfully sorry and it pained me that I had attached myself to a man who believes that love makes you weak. To a man who cannot even love himself. He is unable to see his good parts because he buried them deep inside himself, so that he would never feel hurt again. The lack of a father's love has affected him more than Sasuke-kun actually realizes.

Sasuke told me that he and his mother and brother are still in touch, even though they both live abroad. I suppose they both showered him with love, but Sasuke never got over the fact that his father preferred his older son, Itachi. And his brother had so many responsibilities and studies that he didn't have time to devote to his younger brother.

But Sasuke has changed a lot since that fateful day when he asked me to be his fake girlfriend for the money I needed. Gradually he let his softer and kinder traits come to the surface. And dare I say it, Tsunade destroyed his last barriers. She probably reminded him of the parental love he craved. Love and care in general.

I remember him telling me that his mother showered him with lots of love, but he struggled his whole life living in the shadow of his "perfect" brother, whom his father adored. I think he saw in Tsunade a person who was willing to give everything for a child that wasn't even hers. And Sasuke-kun admired that. Maybe he wondered why it was so hard for his father to do the same when he was his own son, his own blood.

Minato Namikaze also contributed a lot to his change, showing him how to work together with people instead of endlessly competing with them. He showed him that honest people exist and that he could be part of a really good team. After starting his new job, all this bonding was foreign and uncomfortable for Sasuke, but after a while he acclimated.

Namikaze Group and Minato's family showed him a different version of family than he was used to. A family full of support and acceptance, where everyone is equal. A family that doesn't necessarily have to be connected by blood. A family where no single member is more important than the others.

I'd like to think I had a part in his transformation too. That I somehow proved to him that it is nice to share life situations with someone else, to get closer to another person and that love is possible in many versions and forms. He taught me a lot of things that were unfamiliar to me, and I want to believe that I brought some aspects to his life that he didn't recognize either.

Maybe he won't feel love for me, but I will hope that one day he may be able to give love to someone else and receive it back as well. It was a painful thought that another woman would come into his life and he would be happy with her. But I truly felt that I wanted him to experience something good in his life and be happy. Even if it meant I wasn't going to be there.

I don't know exactly when I realized I was in love with him. The seed may have been planted on our wedding day, or sometime before, I really don't know. But I know it grew digger every time he broke out of his closed and rough nature a little more. He doesn't have much faith in himself, which I think is a huge pity. He's too proud to put his inner needs first.

I feel like my heart melts every time I see his genuine smile, every sincere smirk meant in teasings, and his tender gestures and concern for me. Even though he seems tough, he is very considerate. He may be cold on the outside and rush headlong into everything, but being very gentle on the inside is part of his charm. My feelings for hum were growing stronger and stronger every single day.

I also saw how kind he was to aunty Tsunade, even though she often made fun of him, tormented him and sometimes drove him crazy with her toughness. I was worried the first time Tsunade kept Tsunade company at the game night on Tuesday, but it turns out they didn't kill themselves on the spot, which was, considering both of their natures, a wonderful thing.

Sasuke's every act of kindness fed my growing feelings for him. Then they were firm enough that I knew my feelings would never change. That day when Hinata came to stay with us because she was afraid of the storm outside and Naruto was out of town on business trip, was the day I knew I loved him already.

He had been suffering from a migraine all day, but he didn't let it show too much, so Hinata wouldn't feel bad for coming at a wrong time. Not only did he allow Hinata to sleep over, but he was very considerate and observant all evening. He noticed that I was afraid of the storm too and that I was not being quite myself that evening.

His teasing was annoying and cute at the same time. I even thought it was affectionate. And then when he came to bed, he showed me another side of his personality. He comforted me, his voice sounding calm and soothing. He pulled me close to him and I felt as safe as I had ever felt since my parents died. I fell asleep peacefully in his warm embrace.

The next morning I saw yet another side of him. I loved how he reacted when we woke up in each other's arms and how he kissed me until I was breathless. He was needy and in his sleepiness he didn't even realize that he looked like a little boy who didn't want to let go of his precious toy. Sasuke was seething with passion under the surface, his voice deep and husky from waking up. His intimate presence made my heart burn and I knew I love Sasuke-kun so much.

Unfortunately, I knew he would never change enough to allow me to love him. I knew he would never want my love. There was a truce between us. To his amazement and mine, we became friends. Insults and cold shoulders turned into teasings and his dismissive attitude was almost gone. Still, I knew I was no more to him. I was just his ally for money.

Even in my sleep, I couldn't escape my thoughts. Whether I was awake or not, they belonged to him alone. Sasuke. My eyes stung whenever I remembered how he had cared for me when Tsunade died. He'd been careful with me, like he was afraid that if he spoke out too loud, I'd shatter like glass.

When he came to bed with the intention of comforting me, I already knew I had to leave him. I could no longer hide the love I felt for him. I couldn't bear the thought of his face turning back into the cold, arrogant mask he used to hide his true self. I knew he would reject my confession, and I didn't want to face that moment. Because he certainly would do just that. Everything we experienced together was just a necessity for him, arranged and followed because of the contract we had signed.

Until he begins to love himself, he will not love anyone else. Not even me. That was the last thought I needed to come to terms with for good. I eagerly wiped my eyes from forming tears trying to collect myself and I pulled my knees tightly to my chin. I gave him the only thing I had, myself. It was all I had, and if I'm being honest, it was a selfish decision on my part to sleep with him and then disappear first thing in the morning. I wasn't proud of it, but I wanted it. I wanted him.

I wanted him to be entirely mine for once, and I would be entirely his. Then he could remember it as I did, treasuring this memory as one of my dearest. But it turned out to be one of the most painful. I assumed that as time goes by, I would be able to think of that passionate night with a warm smile on my face. But it wasn't as simple as I imagined.

But still, I was sure of something. I'll remember the taste of his lips. The perfect union of our bodies and his body heat that surrounded all of me. Every touch that roamed over my naked body. The way his voice sounded when he moaned my name when he made love to me. Everything.

I could no longer bear the burden of those memories. It was nice to reminisce, but it was also hard. And I shouldn't do that if I want to get away from him and my current life. Thinking about the man I love doesn't help me decide whether I should go back to him after all and tell him everything I want to say, or disappear for good, with the feeling that this is how it should be.

I dug my toes deeper into the cold sand and sighed. I should get inside now. It would get colder outside once the sun went down, and I was already cold enough, even with my jacket on. It was clear to me that I would spend another night wandering around the small cabin for no reason because I couldn't sleep well.

I had also planned to go looking for my little hideout that I had built in the woods behind the cabins when I was a kid. But I'll probably end up back out on the beach, walking until I'm too tired to fall into a restless and unsatisfying sleep.

I repressed a sob that I didn't want to turn into a desperate cry, clumsily got back to my feet and dusted off my jeans from all that sand. Then I turned back toward the cabins, but before I could take a single step forward, I froze in a place as if the sand beneath my feet refused to let me go.

A tall figure loomed clearly in the distance. He stood there, hands in his coat pockets, a hard expression on his face. He was looking at me with those deep, onyx eyes that I would never have mistaken for another person in the whole world. My heart stopped at the sight of him.

"Sa... Sasuke-kun?"

…

SASUKE

She was too skinny again. I could tell, even though she was wearing a thick jacket. After Tsunade died, she had completely lost her appetite and she clearly hadn't eaten much in the couple of days we'd been apart eather. I had no doubt that she felt miserable, because it reflected on the way she looked.

When I arrived to the small cluster of cabins in that Icha Icha Paradise camp, I preferred to leave the car a little further away. I didn't want to alarm her with my presence if she was really here. But unfortunately, that didn't work out for me. I saw her as soon as I got to the beach. A small figure sitting in the sand, staring at the horizon. She looked tiny and lost and I felt an overwhelming desire to go to her and take her in my arms.

I have never experienced such a strong urge that would pull me towards a person, until now. Yet I resisted. I knew I had to approach her with caution. She'd already got away once, and I didn't want her to run away for a second time. I wanted to talk to her, not scare her off. I was honestly afraid of how she would react. She had to leave me for a reason.

But I didn't care of that reason. At least she was here in front of me. She was alive, unharmed and safe. I wasn't sure she was okay. The whole car ride, I felt a suffocating tightening in my throat, like I couldn't breathe. But as soon as I saw her, a wave of relief washed over me.

At that moment, she stood up and began dusting the sand off her pants, her head lowered. I knew that as soon as she lifts her head up and walks towards the cabins, she will definitely see me. But I didn't take a step away. I had to face her, I wanted to. But what should I say to her? What should I do? It annoyed me that all the way in the car I couldn't figure out the best way to start.

And then it happened.

We stood there looking at each other.

I started walking towards her, slowly, cautiously, until I was standing right in front of her. I was glad that just looking at me didn't make her want to run away. She stayed frozen in place, her eyes never leaving me for a second.

I walked with a steady pace towards her, but a little further away, giving her some personal space. She looked as devastated as I felt inside. Her green eyes were puffy and tired, her face was even paler than ever, and her hair was a mess.

"Sasuke-kun?" came warily from her lips, as if she had seen a ghost.

"You left."

"There was no reason to stay any longer." She dug her gaze into the ground, seemingly not wanting me to see her expression in her face. Or even talk to me. I frowned at her reasoning, unable to believe my own ears. "There was no reason?" I repeated after her offended.

"Minato has already offered you a permanent job and aunt Tsunade has died. You don't need the cover of our marriage anymore." She explained to me in a weak voice. She still refused to look me directly in the eyes and it was bugging me.

"How did you expect me to explain it to them?" I snapped, perhaps a little too harshly. This wasn't a real question that I really wanted to ask, but the fear of her answer to my question of why she ran away from me, kept me from asking.

She slumped her shoulders casually and finally looked me in the face for once. "You're very clever, Sasuke. I imagined you might tell them that I was completely devastated after Tsunade died and that I'd went somewhere to clear my head. That explanation would have lasted for awhile. Later, you could tell them that we had problems together and that I decided to divorce you and disappear from your life."

I furrowed my brow in frustration. "You expected me to blame you." I didn't know if I was asking her a question or making a statement. I knew she wasn't being honest about it though. She was fidgeting and nervously running her fingers through her hair.

"Wasn't something like this your original plan? I wouldn't deny it. Does the reason even matter to you?" With those words, she wanted to bury our entire past? Everything that happened between us? Everything was just wrong… "No." I agreed, because it didn't matter what the excuse would have been. "Because you wouldn't even be there." I said with a slight irk in my voice.

"Exactly, then why are you upset about it?" She looked me hard in the eyes without a trace of a clue which would tell me what she was really thinking. "I told you. Because you wouldn't be there." She looked at me, puzzled.

Her brows scrunched together and she gave me a dubious look. I took another step towards her, because I wanted to be closer to her. I wanted to touch her and be near to her. I was worried about how vulnerable she looked tho, so I change the subject.

"You left your stuff at my place." I took another step closer. I thought she would take a step back and increase the distance between us, but her legs didn't leave their place, just as her eyes didn't leave mine.

"I'll contact you later and ask you to send them to me. I mean, after I'll be settled somewhere..." The way she put it, she hadn't yet figured out and sorted out where she would stay. "You didn't take your car or your credit card. How were you planning to get to your money?" I asked, even though I knew she might not be comfortable with my nosy questions. I just needed to hear it.

She stuck her chin out stubbornly and turned her face away from me. "I took the necessary amount with me here, but I'll pay you back every last penny as soon as I get a new job." It wasn't about the money at all. But she should have taken everything that was hers. Not just a few bucks. "You didn't take what you earned with you."

She turned abruptly back to me. A slight quiver tugged at her lips at the word 'earned'. She obviously didn't want to discuss that topic here and now, because she immediately changed it, she chose to ignore the conversation about the money she got for her relationship with me. "Why did you come here, Sasuke? And... how did you even find me?"

I smirked to myself over the idea of Minato's advice. "A friend told me to start from the beginning." I answered, but it didn't make much sense to Sakura. "A friend?" She sounded incredibly surprised. It hurt my pride a little to hear her implying that I didn't have any friends. But she had the right, because I'd never use that word even for that blond idiot who called us best friends.

"Namikaze told me where to find you."

"Minato?" Sakura scrunched up her face, looking rather baffled. "How would he know?" Her eyes were full of wonder and impressed. My boss had some suspicions about us and because he listened others better than I ever could, he figured the key must be somewhere in our house. Which I didn't realize. "He suggested to me to search for you in my house, but he refused to tell me where. He said I had to work it out by myself."

"I... I still don't understand that." She shook her head. I was embarrassed to admit to her how my internal struggle was going on inside of me, but my lack of trust and communication caused this mess in the first place. "I was thinking a lot when you left. Everything was confusing and I finally realized I can't do this anymore." I started explaining to her.

"That you can't do what, Sasuke-kun?" She asked curiously, but I was quiet, choosing my next words for the woman who was now listening and absorbing every word that escaped my mouth. "I began to see everything you were telling me. My life has become one big lie."

I shook my head and let out a heavy sigh. "I couldn't even tell where reality ended and lies began any longer. Even at my worst, when I was being horrible, I was aware of it." I looked directly at her and then I added: "I wanted to get away from it, so I told Minato the whole truth."

Small tears began to fall down her face as the concern in her voice echoed in the noise of the waves and the cries of the seagulls around us. "How much truth did you tell him?" Her breathing was faster as she anticipated the answer. "I told him everything about our contract. I admitted every fucking lie I ever told him."

She gasped and instantly cried out: "Why did you do that?! You've achieved everything... you had everything you wanted. Everything you worked so hard for! Why would you ruin it like that?" She was upset and her emotions were just overflowing from her. She couldn't believe I did what I did. She sounded so sad when she asked me why I did it. "Why did you throw it all away?"

"Don't you understand? Don't you see?!" I gritted through my teeth in a fit of temper that her reaction had sparked in me. I was irritated that she didn't understand why I was here and why I was doing all this. I didn't come here to start a fight, but to find out her truth and tell her my truth.

"See what?!" she exclaimed in confusion.

"Why don't you see that without you, all of that... makes no sense. The only real thing here is you, Sakura…" I admitted truthfully, but I was feeling self-conscious, so I was glad my hair covered at least some of my face. This time it was me who moved my gaze to the side in order to avoid her piercing stare.

She widened her eyes like she was expecting anything but this. But after a moment she grew serious and shook her head dismissively. Only small drops of tears spread over her cheeks. "You don't mean this seriously, Sasuke..." She she uttered in a muffled voice, her eyes darkening with disappointment.

Her tears picked up in intensity that even as she wiped them away with her hands, she couldn't couldn't prevent their fall. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. I didn't want her to be sad because of me. I pulled myself together and I looked right at her.

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"But..." Sakura started slowly. "But why? You don't need me for anything." She was arguing defiantly, trying to keep another wave of tears under her control. She failed to do so and began wiping her face with her sleeve anew. Her tears were as stubborn as herself.

At the moment when her eyes were closed and full of tears that she was fighting, I took a small step forvard. I gently touched her fingers and I tenderly let my touch settle on her skin. I I ran my hand up over her arm, going up to her shoulder, then over her neck, until I held her hot, tearful cheek in my palm.

"Sakura, listen..."

Her eyes opened sharply at the feel of my touch and her lips parted in a small gasp of surprise. "I need you." I said determinedly with my eyes fixed on hers, bright emerald ones. I think I could count on my fingers the number of times I've said those words in my whole life, and only to my family.

I was just a child at the time, and I used to say the same thing to my brother, who constantly had no time for me. I even told this my father, who didn't give me a second glance. Back then, the words carried a slightly different meaning. But my current words, which belonged only to her, were now 100% real a full of aspiration for her.

She put her palm on top of mine, clasped it and pulled my hand away from her face. She pushed my hand away. Her sad eyes were clearly filled with disbelief and anxiety. "I wish you really meant it..." She breathed so weakly as if it hurt her to even say that. I could tell she wanted to believe me, but she didn't have the evidence to back it up.

So I leaned towards her and rested my forehead against hers. Fortunately, she didn't move, she stood still, so I could say the words that had been waiting in me for her to hear. "I miss my wife and I'm dead servus about that." Her pulse quickened and she sputtered the word "Why?"

And I didn't even have to think about the anter twice. "Because I miss my wife and I can't imagine a life without her." She was very nervous about my next words, but in silence she continued to listen to what I had to say, and that gave me the advantage to be able to get what I needed out of my mind.

"I'm not used to talking like this and I'm not good at showing my true feelings." I started like this, even though it must have sounded like a cliché or an excuse to her. "But… It's been a long time since I've had feelings for you, I just haven't allowed myself to feel them." It was not easy for me to put feelings into words, but I really tried for her.

"I've always thought ahead and made quick decisions on a whim or out of fear. But thanks to you, I've learned that every decision I make should lead to something better. You taught me that if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have known anything about love." The thought of remaining the insensitive, calculating, cold hearted guy I used to be, terrified me.

"I don't know what to say…" Her voice penetrated the silence.

"You don't have to say anything. You don't have to accept it or embrace it. But you must know this…"

I closed my eyes and just took in her unsteady breathing and her scent that surrounded me. And when I opened them again, the right words came to me by themselves. "Thank you for being that person for me, Sakura." I said in a lowered voice so she would understand that those words were not for anyone else in this world but her. "So I guess what I'm trying to say in my own fashion..."

I paused and let my true feelings speak for me for once without feeling shame or letting my pride speak for me. "I'm sorry..." I apologized to her first. "And I love you. I've always loved you." I finally said it. And I wasn't going to take my words back. "I'll never be easy and I'll never be good enough... But I will be yours."

"What took you so long?!" A desperate sob escaped her throat the moment I let the last word out of my mouth. I put my arms around her and held her in my arms so tight, she might not have been able to breathe. "Why didn't you tell me anything sooner, shannaro?!" She screamed angrily into my chest. Finally she allowed her true feelings to come out and in a pitiful cry that was full of regret and happiness, she gave it all out.

After a while, her frustration and anger began to calm down. She wrapped her arms around my neck and she buried her face in the crook of my neck. She held me so strong and for so long that her tears even soaked my clothes, but I didn't care at all.

Her sorrow and my silence echoed around us and we stood there together like that for a long time. On a deserted shore, just her and me. We didn't say anything else to each other, but it wasn't necessary at this point. My feelings have reached to her and I hoped that she too will reveal to me what she really feels for me eventually.

…

Sakura led me from the beach to her cabin at the end of the campground row. It was a blue cabin with white shutters, which was also mentioned in the journals that both Tsunade and Sakura kept. Inside, it was a simple little cabin and it looked exactly as I had imagined it to be based on the descriptions in the journals.

In front of the fireplace was a shabby sofa and old armchair. To my right was a primitive kitchen with a dining table and two chairs. And on my left side was an open door led to a small bedroom and I assumed a second closed door led to the bathroom. That was all.

I took off my jacket and Sakura changed into a fluffy blue sweater. When we came from outside, it wasn't exactly warm inside. We sat down on the sofa and I looked at the fireplace in front of us. Soot and smoke had settled on it over so many years of using it, turning the stone and bricks a dark grey. I got up and knelt down by the logs by the fireplace and put a few in there. I wanted to start a fire in there, so I could warm up this cold cabin.

"The chimney is not in the best state..." Sakura said behind me and knelt down next to me. She opened the air intake door and handed me the matches from the table behind us. I struck the match, lighting the splinters under the logs, and then closed the door again. I straightened up and looked down at Sakura who was kneeling on the floor, shivering from the cold.

I offered her my hand so she could stand up, which she accepted and I helped her back to her feet. I held her hand tightly and a feeling of relief spread through my body. A sense of relief that she's here with me. Sakura tried her best not to stare at me, but her frequent peeks were very noticeable.

I released her hand and took her face gently in my both hands. She tilted her head back so she could finally look me in the eye. The dancing flames from the fireplace reflected in her eyes and brightened her whole face. It nearly took my breath away how perfectly the shadows highlighted the delicacy of her features. She was just beautiful.

"I can't believe you're here..." A soft comment escaped her lips and I had to smile a little at her concern that I wouldn't show up in front of her again. It warmed my heart that she was obviously glad to see me. Maybe she was glad that I was looking for her and found her. As shocked as she was to see me, I still believed that a part of her was waiting for me.

"You really thought I wouldn't try to find you?"

Sakura slightly shrugged at my question. "I don't know... I guess in these past few days, I haven't thought about anything while thinking about everything at the same time." Some people would find this description wierd, but not me. I knew exactly how she felt, because I felt the same thing. I knew how hard it was to think rationally when you're driven by a bunch of tangled feelings.

I let go of her face and I took both of her cold hands into mine. "Sakura…" It was time to ask the main thing that was eating at me a very long time. "Why did you run away?" Sakura then took a deep breath and squeezed our hands tighter. She looked at our joined hands for a moment and then averted her gaze back to me. It seemed like she was ready to talk about it.

"I left because I fell in love with you, Sasuke-kun…"

At this point, she managed to really take my breath away. I was glad she took her time to think of her next words, because that sentence kept ringing through my head like a never-ending loop and I stopped thinking for a while. I guess other people would probably describe this feeling as feeling of true happiness.

"And I thought you don't feel anything for me. I couldn't hide it anymore, and it was clear to me that once you realized how I felt, you'd..." Despite her cheeks flushed with pink color as she felt embarrassed and her eyes running sideways, all I could see in front of me was a woman who wouldn't run away because she hated me. In fact, it was completely the opposite.

My heart clenched at her words because I finally heard with my own ears what she really felt about me. I was relieved that it wasn't hate or disgust. It was as clear as day now. Sakura had so much courage that I admired and respected about her. The way she could always make her feelings clear and stand firmly behind them. Exactly the opposite of what I did when it came to emotions and my feelings.

"What did you think I would do?" I waited impatiently for her to finish her last sentence. I was eager to know her worries, and I wanted to figure out a way to turn those worries into trust in me and in both of us as best I could. "I thought that if I told you..."

She hesitated, but then she answered my question. "I thought you would just rudely dismiss me or even laugh at me. You didn't need me anymore, so you'd probably tell me to go away. So I found it easier to disappear on my own..." She said wistfully, and I was suddenly swallowed by shame and disorientation. She had been planning this for some time already and I didn't notice it or her true feelings.

"Were you ever planning on coming back?"

"Of course." She nodded reassuringly. "But just to see how you are doing and possibly pick up my remaining things. I just assumed that you wouldn't want me there anymore." I couldn't believe she thought of me that way. I knew I hadn't given her enough opportunities to think of me differently, but this really bothered me.

"Well, you thought wrong." I said maybe more rudely than I meant to. "I want you to come back with me." And I stood behind that. Except that… I wavered. "Unless you don't want to…" I wanted her to want to come back with me and I didn't know how to show her my true intentions without discouraging her in return.

She gave me doubtful look with with a little disbelief at the same time. I couldn't blame her, but I wanted to convince her that I was being honest here. "You don't trust me." I was pointing out the obvious. "It's not like that, Sasuke-kun... It's just… I'm not sure if you're sincere or if it's just a temporary whim of yours." I felt sorry that she still had such doubts despite what I said to her on the beach a while ago.

I moved closer to her, making sure there was no more than a little gap between our bodies. Her chest rose and fell as her pulse quickened, her gaze fixed on the center of my chest. It occurred to me that I shouldn't push at her so much and I decided to try talking about something a little different for now.

My eyes darted around the small cabin, until I noticed a small urn on the mantelpiece. "You brought Tsunade's ashes with you, so you could scattered her here?" I asked her about that and she nodded her head in agreement. "Yes. We had a lot of good memories of this place. She used to visit this campsite by the sea with Dan, so she liked it here a lot. She scattered his ashes on the beach a long time ago too."

Sakura swallowed hard and her voice shook a little. "I thought... maybe they'd meet here somehow again… in the afterlife." Her eyes were always softer and kinder when she spoke about Tsunade. "It probably sounds pretty stupid, doesn't it?" She laughed at her comment, but I knew it meant a lot to her. It was a nice gesture from her. It was proof that she wanted the best for her aunt, even in her death.

Stupid? Not at all. Only a tender soul like Sakura could think of something like that. "You're wrong..." I stated and a small "Huh?" escaped her lips as she flicked her glance from our hands to my eyes. She was obviously nervous about us holding hands after being apart for so long.

"I realised this a few weeks ago. I've seen how you've been treating Tsunade. I've seen the relationships you've established with Minato's family and the employees in his company." Her cheeks were flushed as they always did when I teased her or when she was embarrassed from receiving a compliment.

"It's not stupid." I shook my head because I was disagreeing. "You're kind and considerate to everyone. Even to me." As unbelievable as it sounded, it was true. I'd never known a woman who had as much strength and as much compassion and love as she did.

I slowly let go of her hands and I gently caressed her cheek with the back of my palm. Her beautiful deep eyes were only focused on me now. Her skin was as soft as silk to the touch. Exactly as I remembered it. "You've given me a lot. All you've ever done is keep giving. I never experienced anything like this until I got to know you." I explained to her truthfully just as I felt it.

And then there was Tsunade. I learned to be quite fond of going to the nursing home, and it wasn't always as bad as it was in the first days. She tried to beat me at cards and I listened to her stories about her and Sakura. And every time I visited her, I learned something new about Sakura. And the more I knew, the more I felt for her. It got to the point where I couldn't pinpoint the moment I realized how deeply I loved her.

"I don't think there's anyone like that in this world." I smirked at her and her eyes suddenly brightened. "I never hoped someone like you could be a part of my life." Her lips parted a little and she said in a soft voice: "Because you think you don't deserve it, Sasuke?" I was a little caught off guard by her question. Mostly because I was drawn to both answers, yes as well as no.

I straightened up and looked at her with a final answer. "No." I told her after a moment of consideration. I knew I didn't deserve her, nor her love. But for the first time, I wanted something for myself. Someone, her.

I wanted the universe to give me a bit of luck I could cherish for the rest of my life. The true reason why I never hoped to find and have a soulmate to whom I would develop other feelings… was my lack of trust in others.

"Because I didn't trust people."

"And now?" She asked in a week whisper. I could hear the hope in her voice that she would hear the answer she wanted.

"Now I know it can be different. That I can share with you what I can't share with anyone else." She tried to say something back, but I stopped her by jumping in right away. "You've taught me a lot of things. You proved to me that everything you talked about is true." She was obviously surprised to hear such a thing from me. Even I was surprised that I would say such a thing.

I rose my hand up to her eye level and took a strand of her silky hair between my fingers. "I thought love made people weaker." I toyed with her hair between my fingers and let it fall back into it's place. "I honestly wanted you to be proud of me and to be able to lean on me at any time. Even though I was an incredible fool." I confessed.

"You telling me you had feelings for me was... all I wanted to hear." For her, I genuinely wanted to be an honest and sincere man she could rely on. And I cannot continue acting as if I do not fancy her, because I do. I was tired of pretending anymore.

"Back then I was so caught up in trying to do the right things for me, that I lost track of what is actually most important for me." I caressed her cheek lightly with my fingertips and her and her eyes filled with tenderness, screamed directly at me. It was a lovely sight.

"It's you."

Moonlight streamed into the cabin from the window, and even through the dim light I could see her eyes watering. But this time it was tears of happiness. I was genuinely happy to see those kind of tears on her.

"That's why I admitted everything to Minato. I wanted to fix what I had done." I explained the rest to finally give it all a beginning and an ending. Sakura absorbed my words for a minute, and after a while her mouth opened a bit with the question ready on the tip of her tongue.

"When did this happen?" It was a question about something that pleased her. I didn't know exactly what she was referring to, though.

"What?"

"When did you start thinking like that? When did I stop being so annoying to you, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura said with a bit of a teasing smile on her face, slowly replacing the tears. Oh, how I've missed her genuine smile.

"Never. You're still annoying..." I smirked, obviously making her ureasy. I was teasing her back a little, but she knew exactly what I meant and that I'm saying this to get back at her. "But in your own way..." I've corrected myself. To be honest with myself, I never realized how happy she made me, but now I did.

At first she was stunnedbut then she started chuckle at my answer. A sincere smile from ear to ear now perfectly graced her face. It's been a long time since I've heard that chuckle and a long time since I've seen that smile. It seemed like an eternity. It was wonderful to see her smile again and see her body relaxed a bit. It seemed to me that this was the way it should be between us. Me teasing her and her in slight embarrassment with a smile on her lips.

"Tell me… How did you manage to agree to our contract even though we didn't get along? I know you did it for Tsunade, but you didn't have to agree to get married and yet you said yes." She blinked in startlement. I expected for my question to bring back unpleasant memories, but to my surprise, she just gave me back a soft smile and said: "I gave you my word, shannaro..."

"You could have taken it back." I honestly expected it, but she surprised me again. As always. I smiled at her and tucked that misbehaving lock of hair behind her ear. "What do you mean by that?" Sakura asked with a curious look on her face. She didn't look as distrustful as before. Her worry and uncertainty had turned into kuriosity now.

"I expected you to play it out in front of other people, that was all I asked. It would make sense that you would ignore me in the privacy of my house. Actually, at first I was going to ignore you too. Only..." I stopped here.

"Only what?" She blurted out quickly, impatient for my answer.

"It didn't work out. I couldn't do it. You were everywhere..." I admitted. Sakura didn't even have to try and I already had her in my mind. I just saw her everywhere I looked. Her presence was everywhere. It came as naturally as breathing.

She often joked around, pushed my boundaries, and I could see her wide grin and laughter all the time. She cared about me, and her opinion became the most important thing to me. I wanted to share everything with her. "Instead of ignoring you, I found out… it wasn't that much annoying to have you around."

She was staring at me, eyes widened. She couldn't speak, but I was glad. I still had that awkward feeling slumbering inside me, so I was glad for the silence in which I was most comfortable. I smirked and finished my train of thoughts. "I guess you've rediscovered that little boy in me who knew what he wanted from life."

"But what if that little boy forgets again?" She whispered softly, her eyes saddening at the thought of my current thoughts and feelings disappearing sometime in the future. But I knew that wasn't going to happen. I was sure of it.

My attention turned to her left hand, where she had a cherry stem wrapped around her ring finger, like a ring. "You didn't take your wedding ring with you, but you made this one?" I tapped at the green stem she had wrapped around her finger.

I didn't understand why she would do this when she could keep hers, instead of giving it back to me and leaving it at home. Looking at the stem ring on her left hand, I realized that Sakura never actually wore her wedding ring on her right hand like I did. That's how it's done, after all.

She always wore her ring on her left hand, just like this faked one. But after marriage, the wedding ring is worn on the right hand. It is a widespread custom to wear a wedding ring on their right hand, which is thought to symbolize trust and loyalty.

I looked at her incomprehendingly. "You put that stem on your left hand and not your right. Why?" She was obviously thrown off by my unexpected question. Startled, she looked at her stem ring on her left hand. "I… I don't even know…There is no written rule, right? Every country and culture has it differently..." Nervously, she started looking everywhere but at me.

I was aware of that, but we put rings on our right hand at the ceremony and I never saw her wear it on that hand. She did not convince me that it had no other meaning. The wedding registrar himself told us that the right hand symbolizes loyalty, honor, and trust.

She is way to much smart, so she must have had a reason for wearing the ring on the 'wrong' hand. "Sakura." I spoke clearly, stopping her distracted mind. Apparently it worked because her gaze was back on my eyes.

"That's because… That's because you gave me that ruby ring. It was the first thing you gave me without having to." Her voice cracked and she said something i didn't expect. "I wear it on my left hand because it's closer to my heart…"

When I heard the emphasis she placed on the fact that it was the first thing I gave her and that she valued it so much, I was at a loss for words. Her words went round and round in my mind.

Her cheeks were pink again and it was quite clear that I wasn't the only one in the room who was embarrassed. Although I was probably the only one trying not to show it. Well, until this moment. I felt heat on my neck and cheeks, but I hoped Sakura didn't notice.

"Sasuke-kun?" She took in such a deep breath that her petite frame shook.

Sakura decided to break the awkward silence first. I just got the perfect proof of how Sakura thought about me the whole time we were together and proof that even though we were apart, her feelings for me hadn't changed. My heart raced so much so that I thought it would jump out of my chest. "Sakura, I…"

I wasn't able to say the whole sentence because Sakura cut me off. "I know, Sasuke-kun… Me too." She stopped my next words and she smiled widely, as she said so. She didn't need to hear it out loud, because she knew as well as I did, how we felt about each other. And I knew I didn't need anything more.

I pulled her close immediately until our bodies collided. I leaned forward and pressed my lips hard onto hers. I moaned her name in delight to have her back in my arms. I held the back of her neck with my hand and I push her closer to me, so I could deepen our kiss as much as it was possible. My longing for her has never been greater and my hunger for her was insatiable.

My whole body burned with desire. Our lips and tongues were touching and caressing, and we were discovering each other again. I savored our kisses and her alone as if it was the first time. My hands were automatically instructed to explore every inch of her body and her breathless sighs only deepened my passion and lust.

Her hands caressed my hair and the whole room suddenly lacked even a little coolness. She wrapped her arms around my neck and swayed on her tiptoes. It was so adorable how she held me tight and I held her back like a next morning would never come. And I didn't want to let her go, ever. She was entirely mine and I was entirely hers.

That little boy I used to be, who craved so much for recognition and love from his mother, strict father, and genius brother, was now telling me in my head that from this moment on, we would not let this woman go again, because she is our home.

…

-XXX-

End of Chapter 33