Disclaimer: I do not own Smallville, Raimiverse, or anything else you may recognize

I just realized that 'Smallville' Clark on Red K is basically 'Bully Welling', LOL! Meaning he and Bully Maguire need to have a team-up.

This is purely a crack fic, nothing more and nothing less.

Have fun.

Clark Kent on Red Kryptonite strutted down the streets, wearing a black leather jacket, sunglasses and a cocky grin, feeling invincible right now, as if nothing could ever touch him.

Then he saw Peter Parker walking with swagger from the opposite direction, pointing finger-guns at passers-by, who all gave him strange looks. His hair was slicked down and his Symbiote-fueled arrogance was at its peak.

Clark could sense the Symbiote on him, but right now he didn't really give a damn.

The two bad boys then locked eyes with each other, or well, sunglasses and eyes.

Clark smirked. "Nice hairstyle. You always this slick?!"

Peter smirked back and pointed a finger-gun at Clark. "Only when I'm feeling great. What's with that look though? You trying to copy me?"

Clark chuckled. "This? Nah. I was rocking this look long before you knew what cool was. But anyways, doing this is so freeing."

Peter shrugged while swinging his head to adjust his emo-bangs. "Oh yeah! And I got enough attitude to take on this whole city and I got time to dance and put some dirt in their eyes!"

Clark raised an eyebrow. "You think you're smooth?"

Peter smirked. "You want me to put some dirt in your eye?"

Clark grinned in challenge. "Floor's all yours, buddy."

Drive That Funky Soul plays

And then, Peter started busting out his infamous finger-guns and pelvic thrusts, dancing his way down the sidewalk, at one point clapping his hands, then spinning them around in a merry-go-round motion, before doing those pelvic thrusts.

A crowd formed around him, all very confused and uncomfortable. Clark watched for a second, and then tapped his foot.

"All right, pretty good. But I'll show you some real moves!"

Clark then zipped from side to side while spinning in circles, and then did a smooth strut, mirroring Peter's finger-guns from earlier.

Peter grinned. "Not bad for a Neo wannabe."

Clark shrugged. "Not bad for a goth wannabe."

They continued to dance down the street, pointing their finger guns with their strut game on point. The people around them just gasped, scratched their heads, or looked at them strangely, unable to believe what they were seeing—two overly confident, fashion-challenged dudes dancing like they owned the place.

"Name's Clark Kent."

"Peter Parker."

"You know, Parker, for an emo guy, you've got style."

Peter had to smirk. "You too, Kent. Maybe next time we take this to a real club. Show 'em what bad boys can really do."

Clark loved the idea. "I'm totally in, buddy. But I get first round of finger guns."

Peter didn't mind. "Deal, pal. Now let's get out of here before we start causing any more traffic jams."

With that, they swaggered away together, arms thrown over each other's shoulders, laughing like two old pals who just conquered the world. Or at least… the sidewalk.

Well, hope this crack crossover was enjoyed.

Bully Maguire and Bully Welling really need a team-up.

See ya all next time with some other update.