Content Warning: Alcohol and weed use

"You need to tell him," Hinata's voice cut through the silence after a while.

They've settled on the kitchen table to make food together, having both taken a day off for the occasion.

Kankurou is moving back into his apartment this weekend, and, in conspiracy with his siblings and Tenten, the rest of the polycule settled for throwing a little party. Of them all, Kiba is decidedly the least enthusiastic about the whole thing.

Of course, he is happy about Kankurou's recovery, and of course, he is happy to gather his family and friends around him. But this is also all obviously the undeniable proof that their cohabitation is soon to be over, and he liked it a bit too much not to sulk about the matter.

"Kiba?" she insists when she doesn't get an answer to her prompting.

He's not walking out of this conversation today.

"I wanted to wait for him to be leaving," he mumbles without looking up from his pile of half-peeled apples.

"I know. But he is."

"I meant waiting for him to have left."

If there is one thing he doesn't want, it's for Kankurou to feel cornered into an uncomfortable position by his confession and "my friend is in love with me and I'm stuck living with him because I'm recovering from a massive surgery" most definitely qualifies as one. Being confessed to at a party with family and friends too.

Hinata sighs.

"Alright. But no stalling after that."

"I mean. I could also never tell him and wait for it to pass. Couldn't I?"

"Yes, because this has worked wonders for you these past months," she sarcastically notes.

"It's not that bad."

It is. And it shows. Things have to be dire for Hinata of all people to talk to anybody like this.

"I don't know how bad it's been for you," she still concedes. "But I do know it has definitely not passed. You're being hard on yourself on purpose and I'm your friend, so I'm telling you to stop it. I don't know what Kankurou wants or doesn't, but you don't either, and it's not fair to torture yourself over the question instead of answering it and trying to find closure in whatever direction it may be. And it's not fair for Kankurou either."

"What do you mean?"

She's obviously right about the first part of her speech, but knowing he's being hard on himself is not necessarily enough to push himself into action. Evidently, it hasn't been so far. Being hard on Kankurou, on the other hand, is sort of the whole thing he's been trying to avoid since this mess started. Or so he thought, at least.

"Well, option one: he is pining for you too, and he's just spent weeks sleeping in his crush's bed, he's all pent up, and you're going to send him home without a word and condemn him to think this is not like that at all when it is very much like that."

"Okay, that doesn't sound great," he admits. "But option two, he doesn't like me back and if I tell him we're going to be awkwardly part of the same friend circle forever or until one of us leaves, which I can't do because I live with you and you're dating my boyfriend, so he'll be de facto forced out of the group and he doesn't deserve that."

She stares at him in silence for a couple of seconds, and it's way worse than if she had straight-up rolled her eyes.

"Or option two," she continues while doing him the favour of pretending he didn't say anything, "he doesn't like you back, but you are still his friend, and he certainly doesn't want you to hurt yourself over him, and it's unfair to make him hurt you without him knowing at all or being able to act in a way that would be more comfortable for the both of you."

Ah, yes. The infamous part where his friends care about him and he's not supposed to burden himself with every problem in the world. He may have mildly forgotten about that one.

"I guess so. I just-" He pauses, then sighs. "I like him a lot. I don't want to lose him."

She puts down her knife and reaches for his hand across the table, stroking the back of it gently with her thumb.

"I know. And I can't promise you won't. Relationships are hard, that's true. But that doesn't mean you should run away from them. And it doesn't mean it'll help to do so."

"I hope you can drink alcohol," Tenten comments upon entering the apartment with two packs of beers, "because otherwise, I'm going to have to get very drunk."

She's the second person to have arrived after Temari, and the space already starts to be a little crowded. Kankurou is not sure yet if Lee is coming along with Gaara, but he's not sure where they're going to put him if he is. The boy is very nice and, more importantly, makes his baby brother very happy, but he's not exactly easy to contain.

Outside of that, though, he must admit to being really touched by the whole project. It's been a while since having people gather around him has been more festive than heavy, and although he's appreciated being cared for in the end, this is a nice change of scenery.

"I can," he confirms, although he still thinks there is far too much to drink here. He's not planning on getting wasted – he rarely ever does, his brain and body are enough to deal with without adding a bonus burden on them – as far as he knows, Shino doesn't drink, Hinata barely, and considering how Kiba has been vaping for the past hour already he probably shouldn't mix in too much alcohol.

That is, of course, without counting Temari in.

"I'm certain we're going to find a way to put those to good use," she assures, swooping a pack away from Tenten's hands to put it down on the table, in a gesture that involves way more physical proximity than it reasonably required.

Has he missed an episode about these two?

"Let's get started then," Tenten offers with a smirk and not a single drop of attention left for the man of the party.

Okay, he's definitely missed an episode about these two. Damn, how did people dare have a life while he was agonising? Rude.

Well, he supposes Kiba was also having a life – moving apartments and all – and that has rather benefited him so far.

Gaara arrives in the half hour after that, glued to his green golden retriever of a boyfriend, and Kankurou ends up finding himself squished at one end of the couch next to Hinata while Kiba is stuck on the other side next to Shino with a big fluffy dog at his feet. Lee has sat down - you'd think he would pop right off the chair in seconds given how much he moves around while talking, but he is staying in for now, somehow – and Gaara has settled behind him, entirely consumed by the task of playing with his hair and, most likely, not tuned in to the conversation at all.

In his defence, Kankurou has no idea what the current topic is either. Half of his brain is mush from a work day and the general fatigue still brought upon him by his healing body, and the other half is too distracted by the sight of his friend sitting on his sister's lap with her hand around her waist.

It feels a bit lonely to be here, suddenly.

He hasn't given dating much thought in a long while, and most of the thought he has indeed given it was "I really do not have the energy and time for this shit." but it did help feeling comfortable in that position that everybody else around was as single as he was, and the scene unravelling before him highlights a bit too much how happy it's making everyone, and how much he's the only one not partaking in it.

When he gets up to bring some empty plates to the kitchen, Hinata tags along.

"Are you okay?"

He takes a big inhale and nods.

"Yeah. Pretty exhausted but- still happy to see everybody." He pauses. "Thank you. For the party, for the housing and everything. I know you've all been putting some effort into helping me. I really appreciate it."

"Of course, that's what friends are for."

He chuckles.

"Or so I've heard."

He hasn't really ever had enough friends to practice the concept thus far.

He glances briefly at Kiba on the couch over her shoulder. He has brought his feet up on the cushion and curved himself against Shino's shoulder. He has been uncharacteristically quiet tonight.

"I feel a little bad for having made Kiba sleep on the couch these past weeks though. He looks like he could use a bed."

It's not all that he worries about, but he doesn't know how to help better than this without risking to intrude too much into his friend's life. He's been let in a lot lately and doesn't want to overstay his welcome.

Hinata follows his gaze and a soft smile appears on her face.

"Maybe, yes." She shakes her head. "But he was happy to do this for you, really. I don't know how well he's going to convey it when you leave, but he was glad to have you here."

Kiba only emerges from his semi-slumber, lulled by the sound of voices around him, when Shino eventually shakes his shoulders. Temari and Gaara are kissing Kankurou goodbye already, and Tenten seems to be ready to leave alongside them. With Temari, probably.

Life is so incredibly unfair.

Some waves of the hand are thrown in his direction from the entrance, to which he answers by a heavier and number gesture to the extent that his current level of connection to his body allows him. Everybody seems to have already given up on having a conversation with him a long time ago already, and it's probably for the best.

The initial goal was to not look too nervous and upset for the time of the party so as to not be a buzzkill to Kankurou and everyone around but, evidently, the threshold of THC needed this time to achieve that state was superior to the one needed for him to take a nap on his boyfriend's shoulder.

He hopes Kankurou didn't take it as a sign he simply did not want to be there.

He is taken out of his feeble train of thought by said boyfriend shaking his shoulder once more and waiting to get his attention back to show him a message on his phone.

"Are you going to be okay tonight?"

He shrugs. Okay is a long shot.

He could probably ask for a spot in Shino's bed for this time. He'd get cuddles, some human warmth, and possibly better sleep than on the couch.

On the other hand, this means no Akamaru with him for the night, and he would definitely appreciate his grounding presence for this one. That, and the fact that he's not feeling extremely good at the thought of being perceived right now with how much he feels like a grumpy and annoying bad friend and partner. He will have to do something about it, eventually, but getting to bury himself alone under his dog for the night is a possibility he's not ready to turn down yet.

"I'll manage," he assures.

He offers himself a last minute of nuzzling Shino's neck after that, for comfort and good luck, then gets up with a sigh.

"I need to walk the dog."

His legs don't feel exactly ready for a kilometre or a few, but there's no backing out of it anyway, and the fresh air will probably do him some good.

In the entrance, Kankurou is still standing from where he hugged everybody goodbye and is looking at him with a frown that does very bad things to his insides. Something like guilt knotting around the butterflies in his gut, probably.

"I'm good," he assures before his friend gets the time to ask him anything. Better not let this conversation go in any direction he cannot control, and ideally, in any direction at all. "Good night."