Hey everybody,
so this chapter was actually rather meant as a little joke between a friend and me, and I a lot of fun writing this scene (as some of you might know the field of law, taxes, and coporate law is kind of my thing (I know! Don't ask me how I ended up here, I'm definetly a manatee in a pool of sharks^^')). But it was a little bit harder to translate than I thought^^' hope you will still enjoy it :-)
Have a great week!
Money talks
(But Mihawk talks more)
This scene takes place sometime after the conclusion of the trilogy.
-Sanji-
"So what do we do now?" murmured Usopp dissatisfied, ruffling through his curls.
"I'm still for us just beating them up," Luffy suggested, hitting both fists against each other.
"Bad idea, Luffy," the Marimo scoffed from the sofa behind Luffy, where he lay with his arms folded behind his head and bobbed an unspecified rhythm with his crossed legs. "That won't do the islanders any favors."
"But then we'd get rid of these bastards," Luffy objected, almost sulking.
"Yes, and the islanders would lose their jobs," Zoro replied with his eye closed.
"What? Why?"
"Think along, Usopp," Nami sighed as she continued to browse through the documents. "The contract for the commodities was concluded with Hank and Banter. They may be dictators, but if we overthrow them just like that, the treaty is void."
"Can't the islanders just choose a new boss, and they make a new contract?" asked Chopper curiously and hopped on the chair next to Nami.
"Of course, that would be possible," replied Robin, who sat on Nami's other side and read the documents cautiously, "but the current conditions are very good. One has to admit that Banter was able to negotiate awfully skillfully. I doubt you would get such good conditions again today."
"And why?" asked Sanji and lit a cigarette. "Shouldn't others be happy if their contractual partner is an autonomous island and not a dictator?"
"Yeah, sure," the swordsman snorted again from his cheap seat. "Who wouldn't rub their hands to make deals with a country whose liquidity and productive capacity are threatened by internal conflict?" Sarcasm dripped from every single word.
"Oh, shut up, Marimo, and don't pretend you know about this stuff. A one-off coup does not speak for unstable structures. Especially not when the government consists of two corrupt cutthroats."
"Yes, that's exactly what it speaks for," the other objected, without moving, "at least if the coup is carried out by lawless outsiders, and the fact that we are pirates would not improve the situation."
"But..."
"Zoro is quite right," Robin interrupted Chopper's and Sanji's unanimous protest. "From the point of view of a contracting party, it does not speak for a country if it cannot even defend itself against the attack of a single pirate crew, which ends up in the current regime – regardless of whether we personally consider it inhumane or not – collapsing. For a contractual partner, there is a risk that something like this could happen again and therefore the new government would not be able to work out such good conditions."
"If anyone would even still want to trade with them," Nami remarked dissatisfied. "Nothing gets around faster in the economy than an unreliable trading partner."
"So, what does that mean?" asked Franky, while Sanji looked back and forth between the papers the islanders had provided them with and his crewmembers. "We can't just do nothing and leave these people to their misery."
"But what should we do then?" murmured Nami with a shrug. "I agree with Zoro. The island itself is not large enough to survive without trade. What's the point of deposing a regime if people are starving to death and living in even greater poverty because the infrastructure collapses?"
"And if no one notices that it's us?", Sanji proposed, not willing to accept purely on principle that the Marimo should be right with anything. "What if no one notices that pirates take a hand in the act? Then it would only look like domestic political quarrels, wouldn't it? You wouldn't have to expect something like this to happen again, would you?"
"But that doesn't change the fact that the current contract would be gone," the Marimo muttered from his cheap place, "and Robin is right. Such good conditions will not be available today, especially in this region after all the unrest of the last few years. Either way, an involuntary change of power will result in the island generating less income, and even if this were to be distributed more equitably than before, a new treaty would probably make any economic growth much more difficult."
"But, if it doesn't end well one way or another, can't we just beat them up?" Luffy wondered, whom they had struggled to stop from simply attacking the government building after being asked for help. "Isn't it better to have a bad contract than to be pushed around by such idiots? Besides, I really can't stand this mustache-guy."
"It would be best if we could somehow maintain the current treaty even after a coup," Jinbei said with folded arms, while Sanji looked suspiciously at the Marimo. "But with the best will in the world, I don't know how we could achieve that. Hank and Banter would have to give their power almost voluntarily to the new government and why would they do so after being violently overthrown?"
This time no one replied, no one had an answer to this problem, and Sanji examined the annoying mosshead. Although Zoro pretended to be reluctantly present, he joined the conversation. But much more annoying was that he seemed to understand some of this crap, at least more than Sanji did, and that really annoyed him. He was even more annoyed by how unusually restless the other behaved. Normally, he did not follow Chopper's orders, so why was he not up in the lookout training right now if he had ants all up his pants, but rambling like some goddamn scholar?
"Would you like to take a look at the contract?", Robin then remarked and offered the papers to Marimo of all people.
"No need," he declined roughly. "In international law, people are generally not interested in national stuff, but in pretty much every treaty of states there is a clause at the end that the treaty automatically grants the other contracting party a right of withdrawal in the event of regime collapse. Doubt that this one will be any different, seems to be your standard average contract."
"How do you know all this stuff?", Franky asked what Sanji was wondering, but Zoro just shrugged his shoulders and clicked his tongue in irritation.
"Now, now," Robin smiled and looked around, "our esteemed swordsman personally worked on the three-nations-project that ended the riots in the West Blue. It has been classified as the most demanding treaty since the founding of the World Government, and none other than Lady Loreen has made its enforcement possible through an impressive speech to the International Law Committee of the World Government."
"Oh, shut up," grumbled the Marimo. "That speech was nothing but Eizen."
Oh yes, for a brief moment, Sanji had forgotten that part. For a brief moment, he had forgotten that Zoro hadn't just practiced sword fighting during their two years of separation. For a brief moment, Sanji had forgotten that the other was Lady Loreen.
Not that it surprised him. It was not as if the Marimo would speak voluntarily about this topic, usually reacted quite irritated and dismissive to any kind of mentioning, as he had just now. On his own, he never spoke about the subject, even rarely dropping the name of his alter ego. No, it was easy to forget that Roronoa Zoro and Lady Loreen were one and the same person.
"Yes, yes, great speech, great speech," Nami murmured unimpressed and continued to comb through the documents highly concentrated, "but it doesn't help us one bit..."
"Can't we just convince Hank and Banter to transfer the treaty to the new government after we defeat them?" asked Brook.
"Yes, that sounds like a good plan," Luffy decided, slapping his hands, "and for that we have to beat them up first."
"No, Luffy," Nami groaned, rubbing her face. "I just told you, it's not that simple. We have to find a way to..."
"Ransom the island."
Suddenly, they were all staring at the door as it was torn open and none other than Hawk Eyes stood in the doorframe, a murderous look in those piercing eyes.
"You are late," he growled. "Has no one taught you that it is rude to keep someone waiting? Especially if you're several days late?"
"I told you that we had something else to sort out," Zoro grumbled, finally moving and leaning on his bandaged forearms. "You didn't have to come."
"Obviously I had to," the former Shichibukai replied, unimpressed. "You know how much I dislike wasting time."
"Yes, but we still have a problem here and..."
"I have already given the answer and I do not understand why none of you have come up with the obvious solution. At least you should – after the education I have given you – be able to..."
"Don't get on my nerves," the Marimo groaned and fell back onto his back, grumbling something incomprehensible under his breath.
"I heard that," Hawk Eyes growled.
"Yes, and your feather boa is ugly, too."
"Fortunately, my self-respect is not dependent on your poor taste in fashion."
"As if you still had some form of..."
"Stop it," Nami groaned. "Hi Dracule, nice to have you here. Could you please not fight right away."
"Could you explain your solution to our problem?" asked Jinbei immediately as Hawk Eyes walked into the room. "Did I understand you correctly, you suggested buying the island?"
"Certainly." Hawk Eyes crossed his arms. "I know the problem concerning Watan. As the hub of most trade routes, pretty much everyone knows the problem, but similar to the Sabaody Archipelago, most ignore it."
He let his sharp gaze wander around the room.
"I should have expected that you would not be dissuaded from supporting the burgeoning revolution, but fortunately you seem to have realized that a revolution will not solve the problems of this people. They would be liberated from their oppressors, but so destitute that their economy would probably collapse completely within two years."
"And what's your suggestion now?" asked Franky at the counter next to Sanji. "What do you mean by ransom?"
"Exactly what I said," Hawk Eyes replied seriously and walked across the room to the sofa. "Banter the Cutthroat, is a businesswoman through and through, albeit an unscrupulous one. If you want to help these people, you must maintain the existing contract, as you have already stated yourself. However, this has been concluded with the current regime. Ergo, the solution is very simple, you have to buy Banter and Hank out of their post as heads of state."
"What?" Stunned, Sanji stared at the newcomer. "You can't be serious, can you? Is that a bad joke?"
"I am not prone to pointless jokes, Chef," replied the other and sat down onto the last free space of the sofa, which was otherwise completely blocked by the Marimo. "Of all the possibilities, this is the only promising one with which you can actually help these people. However, if you only want to have fun and beat up a few dictators without considering the long-term consequences for the island, such an alternative would of course be preferable and less time-consuming."
"No," Luffy immediately objected. "Sure, I'd like to give the moustache a good hiding, but what's the point if that only makes things worse?"
"Oh, do I hear maturity coming out of your mouth, Straw Hat? I am shocked."
"Cut the crap," Zoro grumbled, kicking him lightly, without Hawk Eyes seeming to be bothered.
"Yes, okay, maybe this works in theory," Nami snorted and slammed her folder shut, "but how are we supposed to buy an entire island. Do you have any idea how much that would cost?"
"Roughly estimated, it should cost about 12.5 billion Berry to buy the island including the contract from Banter and Hank," Hawk Eyes answered bluntly to the clearly rhetorical question. "The actual price could be slightly lower, as I do not know the actual financial circumstances. As far as I know, Watan is quite heavily indebted to finance the regime's dissolute lifestyle, so it should not be any more, even if Banter tries to do the business of her lifetime. A sensible trade strategist could probably push the sales value below ten billion."
An awkward silence filled the room.
"Well, um, I don't know how to tell you," Nami began, and Sanji could tell she had to pull herself together, "but who the hell could afford such a gigantic sum? That's more than the whole Big Mom crew was worth in bounty. Who has so much money to buy a whole country? And then additionally all the debts would have to be taken over as well. Even a whole state couldn't just..."
"Roronoa."
"Wa... What?" Confused, all those present looked first at Hawk Eyes, then at Nami and finally at the Marimo, who looked just as confused and finally sat up.
"And how am I supposed to be able to afford something like that?" he grumbled, resting his elbows on his thighs.
"You won't be able to handle the required amount on your own, I can see that." The Shichibukai sighed. "Oh, well, what does it matter? The sooner we get this over with, the better."
With that, he rose.
"What are you doing?" grumbled Franky.
Hawk Eyes only raised an eyebrow and walked towards the door, through which he had just come.
"Solving your problem, as always."
"What a stuck-up prig," Sanji pressed out between gritted teeth when Hawk Eyes had finally left the room, "and you got involved with somebody like him by choice, Marimo?"
"Hey," he growled, but without moving, "I can't help that he's a bastard."
"But what did he mean with you couldn't handle the required amount on your own? You got money, Zoro?" asked Usopp, making several crewmembers, including the Marimo, laugh.
"No," they answered unanimously, and the Marimo shrugged his shoulders. "No idea what the hell Mihawk is..."
Suddenly, he broke off and his grin faded.
Brook was just asking something, when Hawk Eyes came back in, a large, old-looking transponder snail in his hand.
"Hey," Zoro grumbled directly, "don't tell me you did some crap behind my back again?"
"I have not the slightest idea what you are talking about, Roronoa."
"Oh, yes, you know that exactly!" growled the Marimo and stood up, while the former Shichibukai placed the transponder snail next to the documents and then took a seat at the table opposite to Nami.
"And what are you arguing about now?" she asked, rolling her eyes in exasperation.
"Eizen's blood money," Zoro almost spat out and slammed a hand on the table. "I told you that I..."
"You told me you did not care about those checks and that I could handle them as I pleased," Hawk Eyes interrupted the other, unimpressed, "and that is exactly what I did."
"Okay, you lost me," Franky remarked next to Sanji. "What kind of checks are you talking about?"
"Roronoa's alimony for his services in Eizen's name," Hawk Eyes explained calmly, meeting Zoro's angry look with a smile. "Roronoa had no interest in using this capital and allowed me to take that money, which I did."
"And what did you do?" growled Zoro in a pitch that made Usopp jump up.
"I invested it, of course," Hawk Eyes replied slickly. "It was enough to get a generous loan from the Bank of Sarue, and with this loan I bought shares in the Five Islands on your behalf, among other things. With the return, of course, not only the loan was repaid, but the portfolio was expanded bit by bit."
"What have you...?!"
"Please do not get upset, Roronoa. Let us put this trouble behind us and then devote ourselves to more important things," Hawk Eyes interrupted him, whereupon the Marimo's face turned red with anger creping over it, while the former Shichibukai typed in a number and then took off the mouthpiece of his transponder snail. "And if I could now ask you to be quiet."
Zoro slammed both hands on the table, but before he could even say anything, someone answered Hawk Eyes' call.
"Koumyou's office, good morning."
The crewmembers exchanged curious but also confused glances, while Zoro seemed to mentally rip apart his companion's throat.
"Good morning, Houran, please put me through," Hawk Eyes said coolly, ignoring the fiery glare of the Marimo.
"Of course, Sir, if I may ask you to be patient for a moment."
"What...?" Franky tried to ask what they were all thinking as Hawk Eyes was put on hold, but the call was already answered again.
"Dracule, my good Sir!" A bear's voice rumbled across the room. "I've been waiting for your call."
"Mr. Koumyou, do you have the documents I asked you for?" said Hawk Eyes, returning nothing of the other's earnest warmth.
"Of course, of course," replied the bear. "I took the liberty of adapting the contract you used for Maao back in the days for Watan. If you connect the transponder snail to the fax adaption, I can send you a copy."
"Later, first of all, I want to talk about financing."
It was obvious that the two men often had such conversations, but how did that stranger on the other side of the line know they intended... had Hawk Eyes foreseen all this and had already taken the necessary steps?
"Of course, your Lordship."
"Lordship?" came from Usopp, before hiding behind the table as Hawk Eyes glared him down.
"Is anyone with you, Sir?"
"No one of concern," Hawk Eyes replied coldly.
"Of course," the stranger continued. "Well, as discussed, I checked Lady Loreen's financial circumstances. The appropriations currently available, minus the expenditure to be taken into account, amount to just over 500 million Berry. "
What? 500... 500 million Berry?!
Sanji needed a cigarette! Of course, this money was not nearly enough, but still...
"Did I not tell you that I preferred a collection of secure funds?" remarked Hawk Eyes coolly.
"Of course, the reserves correspond to the percentage of returns you wanted to achieve, Sir," the stranger reacted immediately. "This means, most investments are fixed capital. Accordingly, I have determined the liquidation rate only for short-term investments. Excluding the already mentioned savings they amount to just under 2.8 billion Berry."
"What?!" Nami had risen. "Two... Two..."
"Your Lordship?"
"Please excuse the disturbance, Mr. Koumyou, pay no attention to that." Now Hawk Eyes looked at Nami extremely disapprovingly.
"Of course," the stranger did not ask. "Now, depending on your intention, I could implement the liquidation of the short-term investments by tomorrow morning. In addition, in case of doubt, we could utilize the fixed capital, which would just me take a little longer to liquidate, but it would be possible. However, I assume that this is not in your interest."
"No, no. I do not want the fixed capital to be touched. Make 2.5 billion Berry available for my companion by tomorrow morning, and I will cover the rest. Please prepare the necessary documents by tomorrow morning as well and adjust the contract according to our shareholdings."
"Of course."
"And please also put together any contracts we currently hold with Watan. I will call you in for the conversation in question."
"When do I have to expect it?"
"In two hours."
"Alright, I will be prepared, your Lordship."
"Thank you." Hawk Eyes hung up.
They were all silent for a moment, even Zoro, who seemed to have calmed down by now.
"I will cover the rest," Nami whispered, staring at Hawk Eyes in disbelief. "You want to tell me you can liquidate at least 7.5 billion Berry just like that?"
"Do not be ridiculous, Ms. Navigator, tze." Shaking his head, Hawk Eyes took the transponder snail from the table. "As if I were selling shares for such an amount."
…
"You... you're telling me, you're using savings of several billion Berry?"
"No, as a matter of principle, I do not fall back on savings for everyday business, but always use only my current assets."
"Eh... Everyday business?", Nami questioned stunned, which Hawk Eyes confirmed with an apparently confused nod.
"Oh man, you're such an idiot!" growled Zoro at the end of the table, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "You really have absolutely no relation to money, do you?"
"Cheeky coming from someone like you, who used his million-Berry checks as bookmarks."
"You did what?" Now Nami was as white as chalk and leaned back shaking her head. "Freaks, both of you are... freaks."
"Now, now," Robin said with a gentle smile, "at least now we seem to have found a way to save the island. I am surprised, Mihawk, I wouldn't have thought you were the good-natured person."
"And you are absolutely right," came from Hawk Eyes condescendingly. "Do not get me wrong, I am not doing you any favors just to be clear. Watan has always been of interest to the Mihawk family because of its location, but I have never had the patience to deal with these cutthroats."
"What do you mean?" grumbled Franky suspiciously. "What happens if you and Zoro buy the island? Will you become the new rulers?"
"What?" came immediately from Zoro. "Keep me out of this, I have nothing to do with this crap."
"You think too retrograde, Cutty Fram, kingdoms and sovereignty are long outdated structures. The Mihawk family runs an economic association of islands and states. Put simply, my name serves as a patronage under which the states can place themselves, then they are integrated into the Treaty Network of the Five Islands and thus integrated in accordance with commercial practice. I am regularly the main shareholder in the assets of the islands, but this does not mean that I burden myself with the unnecessary work of managing these islands. The states themselves can form a government with the help of representatives of the Mihawk family. Through economic integration, states generate profit over time and increase their wealth, and I earn money from that in return. So you see, it is in no way pointless good-naturedness. At the end of the day, I benefit from the people of Watan increasing their prosperity under my name. Everyone knows that satisfied workers work better than dissatisfied workers; slavery is absolutely uneconomical in the long run."
"You really want to make sure nobody doubts for even a second that you're an ass, right?" murmured Sanji. "You could at least pretend that you care about these people."
"But I do not, Chef. Nevertheless, I have nothing against them benefiting from my profit in a mutual way. That is all the good-naturedness I have to offer."
"So just so I can get it right," Usopp said. "You and Zoro are going to buy the island, so to speak, so this Kumyou has to put together the money by tomorrow? But what were you talking about some contracts?"
"I ain't buying nothing here," the Marimo muttered again, exasperated.
"Well, as a matter of preparation," Hawk Eyes replied, ignoring Zoro's interjection. "Negotiations require arguments and I intend not to pay more for this island than it is worth. I am not a charity."
"What do you mean...?"
"Oh, that's not so hard to understand, Usopp," Nami grumbled. "Hawk Eyes's backer has to look for any grievances, any existing debts or missteps that Watan has committed in the past against the existing contracts. In this way, he can force Banter to sell in case of doubt and also push the price down properly."
"I am glad you at least think along with you, Ms. Navigator."
She gave him a fake smile. "Still, I didn't think you were a good tradesman, Hawk Eyes. You seem to me more like someone who simply takes what he wants."
"That is correct. Lengthy negotiations bore me, and I basically leave administrative work to my employees, but that does not mean I lack the necessary qualities. As I am sure you remember, I can be quite ruthless, even with words."
However, this did not seem to impress Nami at all. "Yes, I remember very well. But I just wonder whether your aggressive approach is effective. "
"If you want, you are welcome to accompany me and Roronoa and see for yourself."
"And once more, keep me out of it; this money has nothing to do with..."
"I would love to."
And so it happened that Nami and Hawk Eyes left the ship a short time later, while Zoro demonstratively got up in the lookout to lift his weights. No one really knew what the two had concocted, but shortly after sunset they came back without a signed contract, but Sanji knew Nami's grin too well, while Hawk Eyes was only half as much an ass as usual.
The two spent the whole evening with Robin, Jinbei, and even the Marimo in the Aquarium-Bar, but the words Sanji could hear via the small lift confused him rather than him understanding them.
But whatever they had done, the next morning, while they were still having breakfast, Banter and Hank showed up at the harbor gritting their teeth and signed whatever paper Hawk Eyes handed them.
On that day, the Straw Hat Pirates saved a small nation from their dictators in a rather unusual – diplomatic – way. But this restrained approach had probably been worth it, at least for Nami, because they had learned that at least one of them had money, a lot of money, and at least Nami would make sure that she would make her profit from it.