The Early Morning

The morning after the last epilogue

-Mihawk-

"Roronoa, what are you doing here? And at this time of day?"

Obviously surprised, Roronoa turned to him.

"Why are you up?" he murmured. "You only went to bed a few hours ago."

Doubtfully, Mihawk closed the door behind him. "The question is, did you even go to bed?"

He did not like the way Roronoa sounded, so thoughtful, so introverted. The younger shrugged.

"I'm not tired yet. I'm usually still up at this time anyway."

"You have really maintained an unhealthy lifestyle on the high seas." He walked leisurely over to the other, who was standing at the window, staring out into the darkness.

"It's going to be strange," Roronoa finally said. "I know it's about time — Luffy said so himself — but I don't know if I'm ready."

It was these moments that made him remember how much Roronoa had changed over the years. In the past, they would have had to filter out what was bothering him in an awkward conversation. Now he knew, and now he said it so openly, as he always expressed everything so directly.

"Do you want to continue your journey with them?" asked Mihawk, the question that pained him the moment he said it. "If you are not ready to settle down here..."

"It's not that." Roronoa sighed and then turned fully to him, his arms crossed. "You know I want to be here."

He had assumed it— hoped! – but never known for sure. Despite all that time, despite all that had happened, he never took Roronoa for granted, whereas Roronoa never seemed to doubt their feelings.

They looked at each other for a long time as he tried to understand what was going on in the younger man's mind.

"You already miss them," he finally realized, "even though they are still here. Even though they are all sound asleep in the guest rooms right now."

"Yes," Roronoa shamelessly admitted. "Even though I know they're going to stay for a few more days, and even though I know neither Fishman Island nor the East Blue are far away, so... I didn't think I'd ever think about something like this, or that it would be so difficult for me."

Mihawk stood beside him at the window and looked out into the familiar darkness. On the distant horizon, a faint glow belied that a new day would dawn at some point.

"Did you talk about it?" he asked, remembering his time after disbanding his crew and sending his subordinates away. However, the feelings had probably been different, the pain not bittersweet, but simply cold.

"Oh yes," Roronoa snorted contemptuously, "so much. The others talk so much about how they're all going to miss each other and what we've been through and how we're going to stay in touch and all that stuff."

Roronoa was obviously trying to sound annoyed, but he had always been a bad liar. So Mihawk did not say anything at all, but just looked at the other, who at some point averted his gaze.

"Did you tell them you are going to miss them?"

"They know that," he replied curtly, "and as if that would change anything."

"But did you tell them? Have you ever said it?" Now Roronoa looked at him, the surprise written all over his face. "Believe me, if my age and my relationship with you have taught me anything, then sometimes it is best to just address things than to work them out with yourself."

To which Roronoa raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you awake?" he asked, however, instead of saying whatever he thought.

Mihawk gave him a wry smile.

"I do not sleep well when outsiders are in the house," he admitted, "and your crew is quite noisy, even in their sleep."

Now he was almost surprised when Roronoa stared at him with wide eyes.

"I did not know that," he murmured. "At sea, you never..."

He took a step forward and placed a hand on the crook of Roronoa's neck, which Roronoa did allow.

"You have always been an exception, my little frog, not only that I can sleep in bed with you at all, no, with you by my side, I do not even mind what is going on around me. With you by my side, I sleep much more soundly than alone," he explained with a warm smile, "except, of course, when you snore so loudly as if you want to shake the earth."

But Roronoa did not smile, just looked at him as if he was looking for something in Mihawk's gaze.

"Why haven't you told me all these years?" he asked after a few seconds, not reproachfully, almost hesitantly.

"For the same reason you do not want to tell them about your feelings now. What would it have changed? You could not have changed the situation – not that I wanted you to neglect your way because of something so ridiculous – and your guilty conscience would have done neither you nor me any good." Now he placed his other hand on the other crook of the younger man's neck, stroking the warm skin with his thumbs. "And it is not like it was a horrible state of affairs for me. Most nights I sleep well and the nights in the dubious company of your crew, I usually had you by my side. So there is nothing to worry about. Just now, I missed you, assuming you would sleep in your room, but not that you would want to stay up all night."

Roronoa grabbed his wrists with both hands, just squeezing them, nothing else; a gesture that Mihawk could not really read.

"I'm glad to finally be back on Kuraigana," he said clearly, "I missed my time here. I missed this life here... and you."

How could he say such words without his voice losing its objectivity, without a hint of tenderness? But that was precisely why his words were so significant, because they were the simple truth, no more, no less.

"But now that I'm finally here... Will it always be like this? Can't I just have both? Why do I always have to choose?" Roronoa lowered his eyes. "These childish thoughts go through my head, even though they don't change anything, even though I know better. Except for Brook, they won't be far away — if he really stays at the Cape permanently — and the coffin boat is fast, and Robin and Chopper are staying here, and like me, they all want to go home now. It's the right thing to do, I know that, and we'll see each other often, and someday we'll set sail again. I know that, but still..."

"You miss them."

He nodded.

"I understand that." He leaned his forehead against Roronoa's, met that deep look, "It will get better, I promise. But it is okay if it hurts now."

Suddenly, the door opened behind them, and they looked up in surprise. Equally confused, the Chef stared at them, had stretched out his hand for the packet of cigarettes that lay at the other end of the dining table. Instantly, he blushed, as if he had interrupted an intimate moment, which he absolutely had.

"What are you guys up?" he murmured.

"Shouldn't you apologize?" said Mihawk, letting go of Roronoa and nodding meaningfully at him. The latter stared at him and shook his head vigorously. "Well then, I am going to lie down a little longer. Roronoa, you should seize the opportunity."

He nodded to the Chef, who stared at him questioningly, then left, knowing that he would not sleep.

-Zoro-

"What was that?" murmured the Cook, who now came in and reached for his cigarettes. "Did I interrupt a little flirtation?"

"Cut the crap," he grumbled.

"Oh, that's right, I forgot, not like you two are ever flirting with each other." The other gave him a nasty grin as he lit a cigarette. "What are you doing up, anyway? Since when is either of you an early riser?"

"If you don't go to bed, you don't have to get up early," Zoro replied before looking out the window again with his arms crossed.

"Aren't you getting too old to spend the whole night doing anything but sleeping?" The Cook stood next to him; it was obvious that he had read between the lines. "Well, spit it out. What kind of opportunity should you seize? Dracule certainly doesn't drop something like that for no reason."

Zoro was silent, only the smoke of the cigarette between them.

"Don't want to talk about it? Well, that's fine with me. Then I'll just smoke my cigarette here and start preparing breakfast afterwards." Again there was silence between them. "Oh, come on, Marimo! Don't make me beg for it. What's going on?"

"Nothing's going on," Zoro grumbled defensively. "It's just..."

"Yes?"

Actually, Zoro didn't feel like talking to the Cook about it at all, and yet he was looking for the right words.

"You know that strange feeling?" he murmured. "As if there were two worlds and you somehow in between, but never in both? And then you imagine that all you have to do is open the door to the bathroom and suddenly there's this other world on the other side." He snorted in resignation and rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh, what a I'm talking about. It doesn't really make sense and..."

"Sometimes," the Cook began slowly, "I purposely leave the door open when I'm cooking, because I'm just not used to this silence when I'm working, even now. When we're in a city and I have a lot of spare time, I wander through the alleys with the back exits of the restaurants, only to hear the heat and the heated conversations again. And did you know that I have a list in my notebook of stuff the old man would yell at me? On really bad evenings, I sometimes drink a glass of wine and imitate how he used to snap at me."

Zoro didn't reply. It did sound a bit strange, but on the other hand, who knew how he would have reacted if he hadn't had the little white transponder snail.

"I know exactly what you mean by this door, and sometimes I've really longed for it," Sanji said almost conciliatorily, "and I'm pretty sure I'll soon wish for a door that leads back to the galley of the Thousand Sunny. If I'm being completely honest, as much as I'm looking forward to what's to come, I... I already miss life on board; including you, Mosshead."

Again, Zoro was silent, still not knowing what good this conversation was supposed to do. Slowly, he looked to the side, met the other's gaze. "Have you ever thought about not leaving and staying by Luffy's side?"

He could see that this question surprised Sanji before he lowered his gaze with the shadow of a smile.

"Honestly?"

Zoro nodded.

"Until Luffy made the decision, I couldn't have imagined for a second to disembark. But since then... It feels right. I'm ready and... It won't be forever. Yes, I'm really going to miss it - I'm already homesick, to be honest - and maybe there was this fleeting thought in between, but no, I never really thought about it. "

Zoro looked into the darkness of the night before them, while the first dark blue treetops announced the new day.

"But you do, don't you?" the Cook asked. "Let's be honest... it's almost impossible for me to imagine you going your separate ways. The rest of us don't know Luffy without you. Never thought that... If it wasn't for Dracule, I don't think this possibility would have been on the table, would it?"

Zoro didn't reply. The Cook was right. If he had never known this life here, had never known this home, then it would never have been up for discussion.

"Did Luffy ask you? Did he ask you to stay with him?"

This question surprised him. The fact that Sanji came up with the idea at all surprised him. But after a second, he knew why. That was perhaps the difference that the Cook had already mentioned a few times, in the evening or late at night, with too much alcohol, a little regretful, a little envious, mostly annoyed. Zoro knew Luffy would never ask him that. Luffy would never have even thought of asking him to stay by his side.

"No," he finally answered, noticing that slight tension inside him, "and if he did, I wouldn't do it. I would leave and not look back."

"What?" The other sounded almost frightened. "Come on, that was unnecessarily harsh of you."

So he really didn't understand.

Zoro tilted his head slightly and crossed his arms, thinking about how he could make the Cook understand that he wasn't unnecessarily harsh.

"If Luffy ordered me to follow him, I'd turn away," he explained coldly. "If Mihawk was manipulating me to stay, then I would leave. But neither Luffy nor Mihawk would ever think of doing that. So it's my decision."

The Cook looked at him as if he had a headache but replied nothing. After a few seconds, he nodded slowly.

"Yes, those are the moments when you just don't make sense," he sighed before pausing. "Oh, okay," he murmured, lowering his eyes. "Whether it's captain or partner, you don't let anyone force a decision on you, and if they try, then..."

Zoro nodded: "Then there would be no reason for me to stay."

Again the Cook sighed: "So tough, you're only making it harder for yourself."

Yes, he was right. There was no magic door connecting the worlds, nothing more than a childish wish. And these worlds were too different to simply connect. Luffy, who loved adventure, everyday exciting, new, full of surprises, strangers, friends, and companions. Mihawk, who preferred consistency, fixed daily habits, routine with beautiful moments of everyday life, close confidants, now and then a few old enemies and new challengers. It was impossible to connect these worlds, there was nothing that united them.

Nothing but one.

"When I was on Sasaki, I often thought about you guys," Zoro admitted calmly, "and when we set sail together, I wanted to call Mihawk right away. You're right, sometimes it's difficult, sometimes it hurts. But I don't mind. I've always been willing to take the difficult path and pain doesn't scare me. In the end, it's still worth it."

"Man, do you sound creepy right now," the Cook grumbled. "Never liked it when you suddenly sound educated."

"Oh, fuck you."

"And at the risk of you sounding even more like a bad copy of Dracule, what do you mean by that? What's all this worth?"

Almost surprised, he looked at the Cook.

"Days like this," he replied simply, "when I manage to unite both worlds for a brief moment. I choose not to choose. Not because I can't, but because I don't want to. I want to have it all, and I'm willing to put up with a little bit of pain for that."

He turned back to the darkness, dark red gliding slowly over the treetops. The day was near. The other laughed softly.

"So this is your solution? Stoically hold on to both doors and throw a hallway party?"

Zoro smirked. "We've always been good at partying, haven't we?"

"Aye." The Cook sighed. "If I'm honest, I envy you a bit."

Zoro looked over at him with a raised eyebrow, but now the other was looking at the coming morning.

"It may not always be easy, but somehow you did a lot of things right, didn't you? I don't really know how it works, but you seem happy with him, and now Roshan, she adores you – not to mention Ray – you could have ended up worse, couldn't you?"

Zoro nodded carelessly. "Well, maybe I was just very lucky."

"And if that's not enough for you, you've got a crew just waiting for the call, and Luffy."

"And Luffy," Zoro agreed. He looked up for a moment, in the direction of the stone wall, as if someone had answered him. "It's really strange that our idiot of a captain of all people wants to take it easy. I bet he'll be at the door next month at the latest, washed up in a barrel."

The Cook laughed softly: "The bad thing is, I don't know if you fear it, or maybe even hope for it."

Yes, Zoro didn't have an answer to that either.

"For my part, I have to admit that I'm looking forward to things calming down a bit," the other said, stretching. "I think I'm getting too old for a new adventure every day."

Zoro didn't have an answer for that either. Yes, he was looking forward to Kuraigana's consistency, but no, he didn't feel too old for adventure, not at his captain's side.

"I'm going to miss it," he murmured thoughtfully. "Everything, the adventures, the foreign places, the days at sea, even those silly conversations with you, Curlybrow." He sighed softly. "I'm looking forward to my life here, but I'm going to miss it all, all of you."

The first rays of sunlight broke over the treetops.

"I know," replied the Cook warmly. "We all know that."

Zoro just nodded, then the other patted his shoulder.

"But it's good to hear you say that."

Surprised, he looked at the other, who grinned broadly at him.

"What? Sometimes you forget that the rest of us can't look into your head. You and Luffy, you understand each other blind, deaf, dumb, whatever. Probably one of you gets nosebleeds because the other is fighting in a bar on the other side of the world. But you have to talk to the rest of us, whether you like it or not, if you want to make sure we know what's going on inside you."

Now Zoro snorted and waved it off. "Oh come on, what are we doing here?"

"And it only took half an eternity." The Cook turned. "Well, I've got to get started. Do you want to join me?" He stopped and looked at Zoro questioningly. "It's your home after all, isn't it? Wanna help me in the kitchen?"

"Tze, you know very well that neither Mihawk nor Perona let me into the kitchen," he grumbled, but followed the other.

"Oh, don't worry, Marimo, I'll make sure you don't blow up the stove again."

He didn't say anything.

"But tell me, Zoro, you'll have an ear on him, won't you?"

He looked up for a moment, then nodded, "Always."

"Mhm," the Cook made that strange noise, like every time they talked about it. "Can you promise me something? Can you let me know if something happens?"

"No. I don't make promises I don't intend to keep," he grumbled coolly, and ignored as the Cook opened his mouth indignantly, "but I'll tell Robin and Mihawk to let you know if I leave in a cloak-and-dagger action. I'm sure Mihawk will enjoy unnecessarily chasing you around like an unpleasant nanny."

The other snorted.

"You could just take Robin and Chopper with you, couldn't you?"

"Let's be realistic, Cook. Should I do it? Probably. Will I do it? Probably not."

"You're just as much of an idiot as our captain. You just hide it better."

"But not quite as good as you."

They looked at each other.

"Today is the day," the Cook then said, "today is the day when the crew will disband."

"Nonsense," Zoro objected rudely, stepping into the kitchen. "Whether you like it or not, no matter where we are in the world, we are members of this crew until the captain decides otherwise. So now we're all doing our own thing for a few years and then we'll go back to the high seas together."

A deep sigh of relief made him pause. He turned. The Cook had closed his eyes, squinted, and then showed an almost painful smile.

"Thank you," he whispered, nodding, tears in his eyes. "Thank you, Zoro."

Again, it was one of those moments that he didn't quite understand but didn't need to understand either.

"So? What should I do?"

"Cooking rice, you can do that, right?"

"We'll see."