The house was quiet as the early morning light filtered in through the curtains. Hailey Upton, a tired but happy mother, padded down the hallway, her footsteps silently making their way to the nursery.
As she opened the door, she smiled at the sight of their sixteen-month-old baby boy, Blake, still fast asleep in his crib. She leaned against the doorframe, watching him for a few moments before gently closing the door and heading to the kitchen to start the coffee.
Meanwhile, in their bedroom, Jay Halstead stirred, woken up by the faintest sound of the baby monitor. He checked the time - 6:45 AM. With a yawn, he got out of bed, donned a t-shirt, and made his way to the kitchen, where he found Hailey sipping a cup of freshly brewed coffee.
Morning," he said, his voice still rough with sleep. "Is the little one still asleep?"
Hailey nodded, handing him a cup of coffee. "He was out like a light when I checked on him a few minutes ago."
Jay took a seat at the kitchen table, cradling his mug in his hands. "He's growing up so fast."
"I know," Hailey replied, her eyes lingering on a framed photo of Blake on the wall. "It feels like just yesterday we were bringing him home from the hospital."
Just then, another sound broke the quiet of the morning - the alarm on the baby monitor signaling that Blake had woken up.
"Looks like our little guy has other plans," Jay chuckled, getting up from his seat. "I'll go get him."
He padded back down the hallway to the nursery, opening the door quietly to find the baby sitting up in his crib, his little arms reaching for his father.
"Good morning, buddy. Did you have a good sleep?"
Jay lifted Blake out of the crib and cradled him in his arms, taking in the familiar smell of baby powder and the way his son's tiny hand gripped his t-shirt.
As they made their way back to the kitchen, they were met by the sight of their ten-year-old daughter, Mackenzie, sitting at the kitchen table, already dressed for school.
"Morning, dad," she mumbled, her eyes still heavy with sleep as she sipped a glass of orange juice.
"Good morning, sweetheart," Jay replied, sitting down across from her with Blake on his lap. "Ready for another day at school?"
Mackenzie shrugged. "I guess. I have a science project I need to finish today. It's due tomorrow."
"That sounds interesting," Hailey chimed in, bringing over a plate of pancakes to the table. "What's the project about?"
Mackenzie's eyes brightened a bit as she started to recount her project idea, something about the effects of different types of soil on plant growth.
Jay listened intently, his hand absentmindedly patting Blake's back as the baby smacked his lips, already hungry for breakfast.
"That sounds like a real scientific endeavor, kiddo," he said when Mackenzie finished explaining. "Do you need any help?"
Mackenzie shook her head. "No, I think I've got it under control. I'll just finish it up after school today."
As they finished breakfast, they quickly went through their morning routine - helping Mackenzie finish getting ready, feeding Blake his breakfast, and making sure they had everything they needed for the day.
Hailey took a quick shower while Jay packed their son's diaper bag, checking that they had extra clothes, formula, and diapers for the day.
Mackenzie gave a small smile, her earlier grumpiness vanishing just a bit. "I will. Thanks, dad."
Jay ruffled her hair affectionately before turning to his wife. "You got everything?"
"I think so," Hailey confirmed, hoisting Blake onto her hip. "Keys, wallet, badge, gun. The essentials."
Jay couldn't help but laugh at her tone. "You got your lunch, too?"
Hailey rolled her eyes playfully. "Yes, I have my lunch. And your lunch, because I know you'd forget it if I didn't pack it."
Jay feigned offense. "What makes you say that?"
"Experience," she shot back with a smirk. She leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. "Be careful out there today, okay?"
He gave her a reassuring smile. "Always am."
They shared one last hug before exchanging kisses with their son, and then it was time to go.
Hailey left first, heading to the garage to her car, while Jay watched the front door close behind her before turning to his daughter.
"All right, kiddo, let's get you to school."
Mackenzie shrugged on her backpack. "Okay, but can I drive?"
"Nice try," he chuckled, leading her toward the car. "You're still a few years away from your learner's permit."
As they buckled into the car, Jay started up the engine. The radio played a jazz tune and he hummed along while Mack fiddled with her phone.
After a moment of comfortable silence, he spoke up. "Hey, kiddo, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."
Mackenzie looked up from her phone. "What is it?"
Jay hesitated for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "You know how your mom and I have been pretty busy at work lately?"
Mackenzie nodded. "Yeah, I can tell. You're out the door earlier and home later."
Jay sighed. "We just have a lot on our plates. A lot of cases, a lot of overtime..."
Mackenzie was quiet for a moment before voicing her thoughts. "I know. I just… I miss spending time with you and mom."
Jay's heart sank a bit. He knew they had been neglecting their daughter lately, and hearing her say it out loud stung.
"I know, sweetheart, and I'm sorry."
Jay pulled into the school parking lot and killed the engine. For a moment, they sat there in silence, the weight of their conversation hanging heavy in the air.
Finally, Mack spoke up. "It's not that I don't understand you guys are busy. I just... miss having you around."
Jay reached over and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "We miss you, too. And we're going to make more of an effort to be there for you. We promise."
Mackenzie nodded, her eyes looking a bit brighter. "Okay."
They sat there for another moment before Mack spoke up again. "Dad? Can I ask you something?"
"Of course. Anything," Jay replied, giving her a reassuring smile.
Mackenzie looked down at her hands, as if steeling herself for the question. "Do you ever regret having me?"
Jay's jaw dropped. "What? No! Why would you ask that?"
"I don't know," Mackenzie shrugged, her voiced tinged with insecurity. "I just… I know I wasn't exactly planned. And I know I've been a lot to deal with lately, especially with my homework and the teenage attitude and everything…"
Jay cut her off with a firm shake of his head. "Stop right there. Don't ever think that we regret you, do you hear me?"
"You were a surprise, sure," he continued. "But you were never unplanned. We always wanted you, even if we had to put our plans on hold for a bit. And as for the teenage attitude, well, that's just part of the territory with having a daughter."
Mackenzie laughed at that. "A pretty annoying part."
"Maybe," he chuckled, "but nothing we can't handle. And when you're all grown up and have kids of your own, you'll understand just how loved and wanted you've always been. We've never regretted having you and we never will, do you understand?"
Mackenzie nodded, blinking back the tears that had gathered in her eyes. "Yeah, I do."
"Good," he said, giving her hand another squeeze. "Now, get to class before you're late."
She slid out of the car and shouldered her backpack, but before closing the door, leaned back in.
"Hey, dad?"
"Yeah, kiddo?"
"I love you," she said, a small smile on her face.
Jay's heart swelled at those simple words. "I love you too. Have a good day at school."
She waved and closed the door, hurrying off toward the school building. As he watched her go, Jay couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. Maybe he and Hailey had been so caught up in work lately that they had forgotten just how much their daughter needed them.
He made a mental note to talk to Hailey about scaling back on their workloads a bit, at least until they got through this rough patch at the job. He didn't want to miss any more moments with his little girl.
The workday had dragged on, with case after case piling up on Jay's desk. But finally, the clock struck 3pm, signalling the end of the workday.
Jay hastily packed up his things, eager to get home and spend some quality time with his family. He shot off a quick text to Hailey, letting her know he was leaving the station, and headed out to his car.
As he pulled into the driveway, the sight of Mack's bike leaning against the garage made his heart warm.
He headed inside, taking a deep breath as he stepped into the familiar chaos of his home. The sound of his son's laughter echoed from the living room, while the smell of something delicious wafted from the kitchen.
He followed the sounds, finding his wife, Hailey, standing at the stove, stirring a pot of something that looked and smelled amazing.
Hey, babe," he said, stepping up behind her and dropping a kiss on her shoulder.
She leaned back against him, a content smile on her face. "Hey, yourself. How was work today?"
Jay shrugged, sighing in annoyance. "Busy. You know how it is around here these days."
Hailey nodded in sympathy, moving to grab a couple bowls for dinner. "Yeah, I know. I've been meaning to talk to you about something though…"
Jay raised an eyebrow, sensing the seriousness in her tone. "What's on your mind?"
Hailey put the bowls down on the table and turned to face him. "I think we're working too much. We're always either at work or thinking about work or too tired to do anything with the kids."
He knew she was right. The stress of their work had been taking a toll on them lately. "I know. I actually wanted to talk to you about that too. I had a conversation with Mack this morning…"
Hailey's eyes widened. "What about?"
"She feels like we've been neglecting her. And she's right. We've been so wrapped up in work and all the overtime..." He ran a hand through his hair in frustration.
"I know, I know," Hailey said, a hint of guilt in her voice. "I've been feeling the same way. Mack's growing up so fast and we're missing it."
Jay nodded. "I know. So, I was thinking... what if we try to scale back on the overtime for a while? Spend more time with the kids?"
"I like the sound of that," she replied, a weight lifting off her shoulders. "I don't know about you, but I'm tired of missing dinner with my family."
He chuckled. "Believe me, I am too. We'll talk to Voight about it tomorrow, see if we can find some guys to take on some of the overtime."
"Sounds like a plan," she said, giving him a grateful smile. Just then, the sound of footsteps came rushing from the living room, Mack skidding into the kitchen.
"Mom, Dad!" she exclaimed, out of breath. "Guess what I got on my science project!"
Jay smiled, opening his arms to hug her. "I don't know, kiddo. What did you get?"
Mackenzie flung herself into his arms, a wide grin on her face. "An A+! Mrs. Anderson said it was the best project she's seen all year!"
Mackenzie blushed at the praise. "Thanks. I guess all that hard work paid off."
Just then, Blake came toddling into the kitchen, babbling something incoherent as he pulled on Jay's pant leg.
Jay scooped up his son and hoisted him up on his hip. "Hey, buddy. Did you have a good day?"
Blake just gurgled happily, his chubby hands reaching for his father's face.
"I guess that's a yes," Jay chuckled, bouncing the baby on his hip. "Well, I'm starving. What did you make, Hailey?"
"Spaghetti and meatballs," she replied, starting to dish out the food. "Mack's favorite."
Mack's eyes lit up. "Yes! I was starving."
They gathered around the table, digging into the meal. As they ate, the conversation turned to less serious topics, the stress of the workday finally starting to fade away.
After dinner, Jay helped clear the table while Mack and Hailey settled down on the couch to watch a movie. He joined them a few minutes later, Blake snuggling into his chest as he sank down into the couch.
The familiar warmth of his family around him and the weight of his son against him made him realize just how much he had missed moments like these.
As the evening settled in, Jay and Hailey found themselves lying in bed, the kids tucked in for the night. Jay was unbuttoning his shirt, fatigue etched on his features, when Hailey spoke up.
"You've been quiet since dinner," she said, her voice soft. "Something on your mind?"
Jay paused for a moment before confessing. "Yeah, there is."
He finished unbuttoning his shirt and tossed it into the laundry hamper, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I had a conversation with Mack today. She told me she feels like we never wanted her."
Hailey's eyes widened in surprise and concern. "What? Why would she think that?"
Jay sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Because we work too much. She feels like we're always at work or too tired to spend time with her. And she's right. We've been neglecting her lately."
Hailey felt a pang of guilt. She knew they had been working a lot lately, but she hadn't realized the toll it was taking on their daughter. "We have been working a lot lately," she agreed. "But that doesn't mean we don't want her. She's our world."
"I know that," he said, running a hand through his hair. "I told her that. But it's not just her I'm worried about. We've been neglecting each other too. When was the last time we had a date night? Or a conversation that wasn't about work?"
Hailey thought back, realizing he was right. They had been so consumed by work lately that they had let their relationship take a back seat. "You're right. We have been neglecting each other."
She moved to sit beside him on the bed, taking his hands in hers. "We need to make more time for ourselves, for each other."
Jay nodded. "We do. But it's not just us. We need to make more time for Mack too. We're missing out on so much of her growing up, and I feel like we're going to blink and she'll be all grown up and gone."
Hailey could sense the worry and guilt in Jay's voice. She could see him starting to spin out, his mind probably racing with thoughts of all the mistakes they were making as parents.
She scooted closer to him and placed her hands on his neck, gently massaging the tense muscles there. "Hey, hey. Look at me," she said gently.
He met her gaze, his eyes still heavy with worry but also comforted by her touch.
"We're human," she said, her thumbs still working small circles on his neck. "We're not going to be perfect parents 24/7, and that's okay. We can't fix everything overnight, but we can do better. We will do better."
Jay let out a sigh, the tension in his shoulders slowly easing under her touch. "I know. I just feel like we've made so many mistakes lately. I don't want Mack to feel like we don't want her, or like she's an afterthought in our lives."
She doesn't feel like that, I promise," Hailey assured him. "If anything, she feels neglected and wants to spend more time with us. And we can do that. We'll make time for her, but we also need to carve out time for us too."
She ran her fingers through his hair and leaned her forehead against his. "We're in this together, okay? Always have been, always will be."
Hailey could see the fatigue in Jay's eyes, the weight of his worries wearing down on him. Without a word, she gently guided him down so that his head was resting on her chest. She knew the steady rhythm of her heartbeat always calmed him down.
"Just listen," she whispered, her fingers running through his hair.
Jay let out a sigh, relaxing against her. The steady thump-thump of her heart seemed to slow his racing thoughts and ease the tension in his body.
"How do you always know what I need?" he asked, his voice muffled against her skin.
Hailey chuckled softly. "Call it years of practice."
She continued running her fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp gently. A few minutes of silence passed, both of them just enjoying the peaceful moment.
Jay let out a sigh, relaxing against her. The steady thump-thump of her heart seemed to slow his racing thoughts and ease the tension in his body.
"How do you always know what I need?" he asked, his voice muffled against her skin.
Hailey chuckled softly. "Call it years of practice."
She continued running her fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp gently. A few minutes of silence passed, both of them just enjoying the peaceful moment.
I'm tired, Hailey," Jay admitted, his voice heavy with exhaustion. "I'm tired of working so much, I'm tired of feeling guilty for not spending enough time with Mack, I'm tired of feeling like I'm failing at everything."
Hailey's heart ached at his words. She knew how hard he was on himself, always holding himself to such high standards. "You're not failing, Jay. You're human, and you're doing the best you can. None of us are perfect."
She continued massaging his scalp, her touch gentle and soothing.
Jay's eyes flickered open and closed, his body slowly succumbing to the exhaustion. The steady rise and fall of Hailey's chest, along with her gentle touch, was lulling him into a peaceful state of half-sleep.
He tried to fight it, to stay awake and continue their conversation, but his eyelids kept drooping, his mind growing hazy.
"Don't fight it," Hailey whispered, noticing his struggle to stay awake. "Just relax. I've got you."
Finally, Jay's eyes closed completely, his breathing deep and even as he drifted off. Hailey continued stroking his hair, her heart filled with love and compassion.
She knew Jay needed this, to let go of his worries for a while and just rest. She stayed awake, listening to his steady breathing and feeling his warm weight against her chest.
She didn't know how long they stayed like that, but eventually, she fell asleep as well, her fingers still tangled in his hair and his head resting against her heart.
Hi,
I really hope you liked this first chapter of my book!
More Chapters are coming soon!
I appreciate all the reviews and comments and follows and favorites!