Disclaimer:

Mrs. J.K., It is all yours, I assure you. I just want to play with it… that sounded better in my head.

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Smoothly done, Harry! Four babes at once! WTF? They went inside a Video game arcade and let me wait outside the door! Hmm, I had better lie down so I don't scare the customers. It is hot in the sun… thirsty… what the bloody hell is keeping that boy? Got to pee… that is the last time I played Wingman god damned! He will be barking at the wrong tree if he doesn't hurry up. Bored… still have to pee… bloody teenagers forgetting all about me. I bet he is going after pussy.

4 Sniffing the goods.

I dozed off, suddenly something jumped on my back and shouted, "Pony!"

I turned my head and a six-seven-year-old girl was jumping up and down on my back, "Dark Moon! Deliver your message!"

A woman came carefully closer, with a forced calm voice she said, "Annabel, that is not a Pony, that is a very big dog, so carefully step down from it before it gets angry."

Hmm, I have to show I am a nice dog… ah, a classic, wagging the tail, keeping my mouth far away from the kid, I just looked at the Mum… she is a babe! The wagging went into a higher gear, tongue out of the mouth, stop drooling you idiot! Sniff… she smells good too!

The kid complained while she got off my back, "But Mum! He is just like Dark Moon from My Little Pony! Can I have him? Please? See? He is a nice Pony!"

The Mum was relieved that I kept friendly, she shook her head, "No, Annabel, this dog belongs to someone in that Video Game store. Besides, we can not afford to feed such a huge animal."

Annabel hugged my neck, "Bye, Dark Moon, I wish you were mine."

I like the kid! At least Dark Moon is a way better name for me, I turned my head and gave her face a lick."

"Gross! Mum! Dark Moon slobbered all over my face! It is yuck!" … I forgot, fucking Ponies don't lick faces. I watched them leave. Mum got a nice ass… lucky Dad.

It resulted that the bystanders now knew that I was a friendly dog, some teenagers about fifteen to sixteen years old came closer, one of the boys said, "For looking that menacing, he is quite friendly, I wonder who the owner is."

A girl asked, "How do you know it is a male?… ah, I see how... that thing is huge, that dog too."

The boy squatted next to me and stroked my head, aah so gooood! Now behind the ears… the other one! I groaned from pleasure. That is how I should be treated! Not leaving me behind for some chicks!

"He got one goofy-looking collar, isn't it?" said one of the guys, "that is the kind of collar a five-year-old would choose."

The girl squatted before me, "Or it is to show it is a friendly dog, a black collar with spikes would scare us off, isn't it, Dark Moon?"

OK, licking is bad, I just snuggled my snout on her shoulder and sighed contently. The boy who was still stroking my head said, "He likes you, Daisy, be glad he did not lick your face like that kid."

Hmm, I will help the boy a bit, I moved my head down and tilted it a bit that the hand on my head touched her boob. Stuck between my head and her tit, the boy froze up before he slowly moved his hand away.

"Did you do that on purpose Jake Sully?" asked Daisy with a frosty voice.

Jake shook his head, "No, I did not, Daisy, Dark Moon moved his head suddenly, and my hand got stuck between you and his head."

One of the other boys chuckled, "I bet he is not sorry, sis. Jake has been pining for you for ages. Now that he touched your… Auwa, Marion! That bloody hurt!"

Well, Daisy is a fine-looking piece of ass, Jake is a lucky guy. I saw them holding hands when they left… Bored, what is keeping that brat? Ah, four girls, I am happy for the kid that he opened up to those Muggles. I never expected him to take them on a date. A date between friends, but a date nevertheless.

Sniff? Another bitch in heat! Where? That is a fine-looking Grand Dane! "Come along Queeny, that is a bastard, probably full of fleas and lice. You can do better than that."

Whut? Son of a bitch! I am from Pure Blood stock I have you know!… I need to get myself some pussy, I am finding dogs sexy, I need to get laid or need a mind healer. Probably both. Bored…

OK, this has been long enough! I stood up and put my head inside the store, "WOOF!" that shook everyone up, I sat in the doorway looking inside. Harry appeared from a darker corner, blushing with one of the girls… a second girl came after, and a third, the fourth one too? YOU DOG! I am so proud.

Harry came outside, "Erm, I guess it is time to go home now?"

I looked at Harry, then at the girls, I sighed and shook my head. Harry was puzzled, "If it is not time why were you barking like that?"

One of the girls said, "He is bored, Harry. We have been in here for a long time, I bet he is thirsty."

I like this one! I snuggled my head against hers and wagged my tail. I was bloody thirsty, three hours in the evening sun on the pavement does that to you.

Another one said, "I'll ask for a bowl of water, they will give it, that way we can be here longer."

A bowl of water later, I was on the pavement again… Bored, the brat better appreciate my sacrifice. But I could not take him away from his first snogs, even when those girls clean his wallet. Life lessons, people! It happened to most of us, males. If the girls were lucky, they were the ones doing the cleaning. Meh, Harry got the chance to play the big spender for once. That is 500£ well spent.

It was a happy Harry that walked the dog home. A cold shower later I went into my bed.

Xxxxx

The next morning at breakfast I asked, "I am curious, how much pocket money do you have left?"

Harry blushed, "A bit more than two hundred, Sirius."

I chuckled, "That much? What do I do with all that money? Do you remember you asking that? Money management is something you need to learn this month too. But I don't mind you spending money on those girls, it is the first time in many years you could do and buy whatever you want. Tell you what, Penny will top your pocket money up to five hundred pounds every evening you go out."

I held my hand up, "There is a catch, during the day you study. The book about Wizarding customs has to be studied, as the history of the Wizengamot and its rules, Gringotts banking, and management. Those three are for this week. If you go out during the day, you study in the morning and evening. Do we have a deal?"

Harry asked carefully, "I can spend five hundred pounds every day?"

I nodded, "Just this summer, Harry. To make up for your lost years. You can spend one pound or all five hundred, I don't care, but don't let me bake for hours in the sun. Also, let Dobby scout the surroundings before you leave the house if you go out alone, they could be watching the house. Dobby can pop you to the park."

I sorted through my letters, "Harry, don't make plans for tomorrow morning, the Goblins will come to clean the house from Dark Curses and there will be a healer to check us out."

Harry was reading his own letters, "I will, Sirius. Hermione wrote that Dumbledore never asked her to do something for me. She is leaving for Italy next week, Pisa, Rome, and Pompeii."

"That is something we will do next year when we clear all this mess, pup." I reassured him when I heard his longing voice, "We can go for a week or two months whatever you want. Or we could stay here and you can visit your friends."

Harry shrugged, "I doubt they will wait for me, I am just a Summer fling."

"Then you are a smarter man than me, Harry, I was planning my wedding after my first snog, the bitch broke my heart and trampled on it."

Xxxxx

I changed the topic, "Did you write the letter to the Prophet with your side of the story?"

Harry nodded, "Dobby made a copy before I sent it away with Hedwig. He said letters to the paper need a copy for the Master, so I don't forget what I wrote."

I nodded, "Smart move, but I forgot to tell you a secret password for Skeeter to get your letter printed."

Harry frowned, "I did not know shareholders needed a password. What is the word?"

I grinned, "Water bug, although it is more a blackmail word than a password. My password is Padfood."

The light went on upstairs, "She is an animagus? A Water bug? Where does she keep her brain in that tiny body?"

"That are the wonders of Magic, Harry. Even my grim has a smaller brain than a human. Ah, here is the Daily Rubbish.

Lord Black and Heir Potter shake the Wizarding World Awake!

Dear Readers! Yesterday's Wizengamot sitting was a Chaos!

The open letter from Lord Black in our Newspaper unearthed several skeletons that were hidden in the Dark bowels of the Ministry and Hogwarts!

Madam Bones was on a warpath! When the session was opened by Chief Warlock Dumbledore, she demanded him to step down because he had to answer incriminating questions regarding Heir Potter/Black!

Yes, The Boy Who Lived is Heir to House Potter and to House Black!

When Chief Warlock Dumbledore refused to step down, Madam Bones, as Regent Bones, demanded his resignation and called for a vote, it was seconded by the Lords Greengrass, Davis, and Abbot!

The Vote passed and Mr Dumbledore was forced to sit on his seat as an Order of Merlin holder.

Dowager Augusta Longbottom was voted as the new Chief Warlock, as you can remember, she was the one that captured Bellatrix Black and the Lestrange brothers when her house was attacked.

Chief Warlock Longbottom's first course of action was to release the Will of Lord Potter.

The contents shocked us, in it was proof of Lord Black's innocence! Dumbledore was named as the caster of the Fidelius and explained why they changed it to Peter Pettigrew and kept Lord Black as the Decoy. This was done not one week before this will was written on 25 October.

All the possible Guardians were listed, at the end was a line that absolutely forbade to send the Boy Who Lived to his maternal aunt, because she blamed Lady Potter for the murder of their parents by Death Eaters and for being a freak.

Dumbledore was asked which family he put Heir Potter in, Dumbledore refused to answer until a vote was asked to administer Veritaserum. Reluctantly, Dumbledore confessed that he put Heir Potter with his maternal aunt.

His excuse was, "I raised powerful protections around that house to protect Harry from harm." At that moment, my assistant ran in with a letter in her hand! I read the letter and urged an Auror guard to hand a copy to the director of the DMLE, Madam Bones.

Madam Bones read the letter and her voice boomed through the hall, "Heir Potter was not safe from his relatives, Dumbledore! In this letter he wrote to the Daily Prophet, he said that he had to sleep in a Cupboard under the stairs for ten years!

Madam Bones started to quote, "I had to cook for them from six years old, I only got fed the table scraps and some toast with a glass of milk. I got beat for accidental Magic followed by a day without food in my cupboard!"

Madam Bones had to control her anger, "I never got any presents or new clothes, if I did better at school as Dudley, my Cousin, I got beat, if I complained to a teacher or school nurse, a few days later they were replaced. That is why I thought I deserved to be in that cupboard."

Madam Bones got in front of Dumbledore, "They moved me to the smallest bedroom when my Hogwarts letter came, that was the first letter I ever got. Hagrid took me to Diagon Alley but did not explain much."

Dear Readers! It got worse! Hogwarts became a death trap! A Troll on All Hallows Eve! Harry described how Dumbledore sent Hufflepuff and Slytherin students to their deaths when the Dada Professor claimed that there was a Troll in the Dungeon!

An obstacle course on the third floor starting with a Cerberus behind a door a firstie can open!

Detention in the Forbidden Forest at night looking for a poacher that kills Unicorns!

Second year, with an Acromantula nest, a thousand-year Basilisk, and a possessed girl.

Then our minds could not understand it, The Boy Who Lived watched Minister Fudge arrest Hagrid because he must been seen doing something! The professors are not shot free in this, they let students be petrified and abandon them! One student was petrified for SEVEN MONTHS! Because, according to the letter, the Mandrakes had to mature!

Lastly, The Boy Who Lived claimed that he single-handedly killed a thousand-year-old Basilisk, and offered to present the memory of the kill when asked.

We print the full contents of the letter on Page 2.

Madam Bones asked for a vote of no confidence to release Dumbledore from his Mugwump position, the vote was almost unanimous.

Madam Bones faced Dumbledore and her voice boomed, "All the merits you gathered for killing Grindelwald are gone with the crimes you committed on an innocent child, and to two Most Ancient and Most Noble Houses. Being a War Hero does not give you the right to do whatever comes into your head. You are not a God, you are not Merlin, to me you are an old man with delusions of grandeur!"

Madam Bones turned to the Members of the Wizengamot and said that the arrest warrant for Lord Black was revoked, Lord Black was never convicted, so he did not escape Azkaban. He, as he claimed, was on strike.

Madam Bones came up with a solution for Lord Black's Claim for his wagers.

The Wizengamot will take the burden of his pay, 141,000 Galleons.

Because Dumbledore and Crouch were responsible for Lord Black's stay in Azkaban, they will carry the cost for Lord Black's claim for not being able to do his Lord duties and prevent him from doing his Godfather duties, meaning 100,000 Galleons penalty.

It was clear that Dumbledore was responsible for twelve years of abuse and neglect, Madam Bones doubled the claim of Lord Potter to 200,000 Galleons. The medical bill will be divided by Dumbledore and Crouch.

Former Minister Bagnold should be happy she passed away or she could share the burden.

Dear Readers, at the end of the Wizengamot session, Dumbledore was escorted out for questioning, when he protested, Madam Bones suggested a vote to cancel his Order of Merlin. Dumbledore left with the Aurors.

Dear Readers, Yesterday we witnessed the downfall of an Icon. A man so absorbed in his self-importance that he did not blink an eye to break every law in the books!

We take child abuse seriously, in that way we all failed Heir Potter, we were too trusting, we followed Dumbledore like sheep after a shepherd.

We can only hope Heir Potter forgives us.

Your Loyal Reporter Rita Skeeter.

Heir Potter's letter on Page 2

Why did Dumbledore commit all those crimes? We speculate on Page 3

Lord Black, the new NR. 1 Bachelor?

The effects of Azkaban on the Body, how big will the Medical bill be? More on Page 4

Heir Potter, the upcoming bachelor, who will snatch him? We list candidates on Page 5

The importance of a Newspaper is proven! We can bring Icons down with the truth! A subscription form is included.

Xxxxx

I grinned at Harry when I gave the paper to him, "Great timing, Harry! You sped my freedom up with weeks. If you want, we can go on a holiday next month, just say the word."

"I like it here, Sirius," was his reply, while he read the report.

Hmm, is it time for The Talk? He is going on thirteen and those girls seem to be a year older… yeah definitively The Talk. Who is the sucker to give it to Harry? Better not Xenofilius Lovegood, Merlin knows what pagan rites he learned from him. Amelia is out too, she has a spanking coming her way.

Cyrus Greengrass? It is possible, hmm, he was in Slytherin, before you can say betrothal, he will have one of his daughters hooked on Harry. I better do The Talk myself.

"What will happen with Dumbledore now?" asked Harry when he finished reading, "will he stay on as Headmaster?"

I sighed, "You have to realize that Madam Bones took advantage of the situation to fire Dumbledore from his two jobs. Dumbledore knows too many skeletons in the closets to get fired from Hogwarts. He played the political game for too long. If Madam Bones manages to fire Dumbledore, then I'll kiss her bare ass."

Harry chuckled, "Shouldn't you aim at her lips instead of her ass? Or would it not be better to tell her I am with you?"

I grinned, "Nope, Petunia can explain where you are, I had Penny get my letter back. So, there is no Harry in the House, but a door with a cat flap and locks on it. If they are incredibly stupid, then they did not remove the evidence from your cupboard. It could not happen to nicer people."

Let them search for a few days for Harry, that will sink Dumbledore deeper in shit.

Xxxxx

Harry studied hard all day, often asking relevant questions, he has a bright mind now that he has a goal to work toward, four sugar babes. I finished my paperwork and studied the marriage contracts of Bella and Cissi.

Both are in violation, they were forbidden to raise their hand against their Lord or Heir. Both did, Cissi for keeping quiet and Bella for telling the guards I am a Death Eater. That will be my stick behind the door.

After dinner, Harry dressed up, and stood before me with the pink collar, "It is time for a walk, Fifi, it is good for your digestion."

I grumbled, "You better put me in the shade this time, I was almost cooked yesterday."

Harry thought for a bit, "Dobby? Can you from time to time put an invisible bowl with water in front of Fifi? Oh and a cooling charm."

I stopped him, "Not a cooling charm, Harry, if someone touches me and I feel cold, that will raise questions. The water is a great idea," I sighed, "put that ugly collar on and let go."

Xxxxx

Harry took the girls to the movies, I better learn their names, they are Ariana, Taylor, Tina, and Cristina. Pretty girls that have wrapped Harry around their fingers. Meh, he knows it is a Summer fling. Sniff… no making babies this week Harry, I can postpone The Talk to next week.

It was movie time, Jurassic Park was just out, and Harry was buying the tickets, the popcorn, and the drinks, and for me a place to stay inside the hall, they even had a corner for pets, I filled that place almost completely. That movie has several scary parts, so he will get some snogs out of it. I was comfy, Dobby did a cushioning spell, and boy that was good.

After the movie, the brat forgot all about me, Tina had to remind him, the brat had to pay the entrance fee again to fetch me. I glared at him for forgetting me, horny mutt. I did have a nice nap, despite all the noise.

Harry got a lot of jealous looks when he kissed all four girls goodbye, the girls were eager to snog him, yeah, he said that he was taking them shopping tomorrow. That boy is acting out all his fantasies. I knew I had them in my old life, if I was a rich man, all the things I could do, all the bimbos I could play with… Harry is living his dream… mine too.

Meh, my turn will come up soon enough, now that I am off the hook, the birds will flock to me in no time. Bloody Bones will get boned for sure, she has a big punishment coming her way and she knows it.

Xxxxx

The Goblin Team arrived, one old and four young ones, followed by an old crony the healer no doubt.

Mother glared from her painting when she saw the Goblins pass her by, but said nothing even though it must pained her soul to keep it in. I had a long talk with her the first evening, and let Kreacher tell his tale to her. The news her beloved Lord was responsible for Reggy's death shook her up.

I warned her, "Mother, you caused the downfall of House Black, you kicked me out, sold Bella and Cissy to those animals, and caused Andi to run away. You will hold your tongue or I will destroy this painting, even when I have to remove the wall to do so. The Muggles have a lot of acids for sale to remove paint. Don't tempt me."

I told the old Goblin, "Master Curse Breaker, every harmful curse on books or items has to be removed. There is a Horcrux on Slytherin's Locket, if you can remove the Horcrux without damaging the Locket, you can select ten Goblin Silver items, and I am prepared to pay a hundred-year rent for the other Goblin Silver items if the amount is reasonable of course."

Kreacher popped in front of the old Goblin with the locket, I added, "My Godson is a Parselmouth, he can open the locket if needed. My elves will assist you and give you access to all the rooms."

The old Goblin nodded with a grunt and took the locket, "I read the contract, Lord Black if you don't mind, we have work to do."

Then I turned to the old crone, "You must be the honored Healer I asked for, where do you want to do your examination?"

The old crone shrugged, "Any room will do, get the boy here, he will be the first one."

Dobby popped in, "The Parlor be ready, Master Doggy. Master Harry Sir be waiting there."

The crone waved her dagger all over Harry, "You had hard times behind you boy, I see that the potions you have been taking are mending a lot of it, I have to correct this… and that… Did you never see that school nurse Boy? She must have spotted this and the starvation, that is impossible to miss. You need your inoculations."

She shook her head and asked, "And do tell me where did that basilisk that bit you came from, that scar is too big to come from a small snake. The venom is neutralized by the Phoenix tears, so it evens out."

The crony looked at me, "This boy's Magic is bound by half, and there are a lot of spells active. This boy does not need a healer, he needs a curse breaker. Elf, get that old bag of bones in here, tell him I need his skills."

The old Goblin came in, "What do you need old hag, I was about to start on the Horcrux, that can not be interrupted."

"Take a look at the boy, old bastard before you start complaining," said the Crony before the old man could continue complaining.

The old Curse Breaker examined Harry, "Magic Core bound, Mail redirection, an Elf Block… a blood tracker, a bunch of monitoring spells, and a spell that nubs the brain, that one is loosening up. And… a Horcrux in a living being? … No, not a real one, a false Horcrux, it is locked with a ward, possibly his mother's protection."

He looked at me, "I can undo all of them today except that false Horcrux. I need a week to study the books on how to remove it without killing the boy."

I nodded, "Keeping Harry alive is a top priority. Proceed as you see fit, Master Curse Breaker."

Xxxxx

An hour later, Harry was a new boy, and Penny got a new prescription for another load of Potions.

When Harry went to the door he said, "I'll be shopping with the girls, Sirius," innocently he asked, "Do you think 500£ is enough for a new wardrobe?"

I chuckled, "Only this holiday, Pup. Penny, give Harry 1500£ for shopping, Dobby will… nope first he will call the potter elves here. You have to reconnect with them."

Dobby closed his eyes and snapped his fingers, an old Elf appeared, Dazed, she looked around until she spotted Harry, she rushed to Harry and hugged his legs, "Master Harry! We be looking for you! We could not find you, Master Harry! Bad Headmaster took you away."

"Hello Tapsy, it has been a long time since I have seen you," I interrupted her babbling, how are the other Elves?"

My legs got hugged too, "Master Siri! You be coming home with Master Harry? We be missing Master James and Mistress Lily. You be coming home?"

Penny popped in, "Master and Young Master be home already."

I stopped them before it got out of hand, "Both are our homes, Penny and Tapsy. Harry is the Heir of House Potter and Black, so he has two homes. You have to learn to share. Tapsy? What is the condition of Potter Manor? I heard it took a lot of damage in the war."

Tapsy looked around, closed her eyes, and said, "Mansion is repaired, Master Siri. This house be not fit for Master Harry, there too much bad Magic. Too many nasty critters."

I nodded, "I know, Tapsy, but to our defense, we are only a few days on the job cleaning. If Harry allows it you may help too."

Harry followed the byplay and decided to be diplomatic, "For now I like to stay here, Tapsy, I have made some friends here that I love to spend time with. If Penny and Kreacher could use your help, any Potter Elf is allowed to help if they want to."

Penny, glad she was included in the decision making said, "Penny and Kreacher welcome the help of young Master's Elves to clean the House, when Goblins are done."

Tapsy snapped her fingers, and five Elves popped in, all five smothered Harry while crying from joy.

Harry let them for a minute when they settled down, Harry introduced Dobby, "Everyone, this is Dobby, he did his best to protect me, last school year, Sirius hired Dobby in my name to be an elf for me. He saved me from the Dursleys. Please make him feel welcome."

Xxxxx

It took an hour before Harry could go to his bitches… girlfriends.