"I'll go first!" Crabbe stood from the Slytherin table, quickly followed by Goyle and Zabini. The other students followed them with their eyes. Probably wondering if this was really happening.

"Excellent." Amycus smiled benevolently and made room for the three boys to stand in front of their victims.

Crabbe rolled up his sleeves and licked his lips. "Now, which one of you should go first?"

The first years looked terrified at the Death Eater. Two of them were crying and one looked like he was about to faint.

Cora sent Draco a desperate plea through her mind, but he ignored her. He simply continued to eat his pumpkin pie, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. On either side of him sat the Greengrass sisters and they both followed suit.

Frustrated by their cowardice, Cora's eyes darted up to Severus, but his demeanor was cold and passive. Aren't you going to do something?

For a couple of seconds he remained by her side, and then he walked briskly down the aisle towards the teacher's table. His black cloak bellowed behind him as he went. Without a word he found his seat. Then he said the three words that Cora would never forgive him for: "You may proceed."

A gasp came from several of the teachers. Professor MacGonnagal leaned forward across the table and asked in a strained voice: "Is this really necessary?"

The Headmaster ignored her and began to serve himself with venison stew and a glass of wine.

The head of Gryffindor straightened. She was about to leap from her seat, but remained seated when professor Sprout laid a calloused, warm hand over hers. The two elderly women exchanged worried, but knowing looks. If they intervened, they might lose their positions. And then where would their students be? But if they did nothing, neither was sure they would ever be able to forgive themselves.

Cora's mouth felt dry and useless. Where were her words? What could she do?

She watched with horror as Crabbe, Goyle and Zabini placed themselves in front of the first years.

"One." Crabbe took his stand.

"P-please..." The boy on the left tried to fight off the chains, while the girl on the right cried even harder. Crabbe just laughed at them.

"Two." Goyle looked like a toddler on Christmas morning.

"Three!" Zabini eyed his comrades, and then they all shouted simultaneously: "Crucio!"

The screams from the 11 year olds echoed in the Dining Hall.

Their pain was excruciating.

Cora wanted to cover her ears, run into the Dark Forest and never come back. Forget about the magical world and pretend she'd woken from a bad dream. Or better yet - a 6 year long coma.

When the tormenters were finally done, all three had fainted from the pain and hung lifelessly from their chains.

Cora felt nauseous.

"30 points to Slytherin!" Amycus shouted. He was met with silent stares and occasional sniffles. After glaring at the students in said house, he received a short round of half-hearted applause. "Alecto, if you would be so kind."

"Of course, brother." Alecto made a small bow on the other side of the room. She then preceded to scout for a new set of tormenters.

The three little girls on the wall had ash-stricken faces and wide eyes. They watched how the Slytherin boys high-fived on another and sat back down again. Who would now take their place?

"Come now, don't be shy," Alecto coaxed, but received little to no response. This annoyed her. She was almost tempted to do the job herself when she spotted Cora by the door. A smile crossed her lips.

With a friendly gesture, she pointed towards the crying girls in the chains. "All yours, Miss Riddle." Her brown eyes gleamed in the light from the nearby torches. Let's see how you'll handle this one, little princess.

Cora swallowed. She knew if she didn't think fast, this could end in disaster. Alecto Carrow's gesture wasn't just a way for the heir of Slytherin to gather 30 points for her own house. It was also a question of where her loyalties lay.

Biding her time, Cora walked slowly up to the wretched witch. Crossing her arms over her chest, she gave the crying girls a nonchalant look - as if studying a rather boring painting. "Actually... It's Mrs Snape."

Her fellow classmates broke into a cacophony of muttering and whispering behind her back.

Cora offered the Death Eater, who suddenly looked less sure of herself, an overbearing smile. Then she drew out her wand, and pointed it towards the closest Hufflepuff girl on the wall.

Watching the little girl close her eyes tight, Cora drew in a sharp breath, before she shouted: "Crucio!"

The little girl screamed.

As did Alecto Carrow.

The curse had hit her straight in the chest, and now she was lying on the ground, twisting unnaturally.

"Crucio!" Cora shouted again. Her nostrils flared and her pulse was sky high. All the anger and pain from the last couple of weeks came flying out of her wand and into the witch on the floor.

Time stood still, and Alecto's movements looked like they were done in slow motion.

Cora had never felt so angry in her entire life.

Again and again she cast the curse. When she was done, she bend down towards a shaking Alecto and said calmly: "The next time you forget who I am, it will be the last thing you ever do."

Alecto nodded terrified. She knew Cora wasn't simply referring to her name.

"Now, I think we've had enough violence for one dinner." Cora released the six students from their chains with a flick of her wand, and all fell to the floor. The three in front of her scurried together in a huddle and sobbed loudly. "Don't you agree, professor Carrow?"

She raised a daring eyebrow towards Amycus, who looked like he wanted to hex her into oblivion, but was too scared to do so.

"Yes, Mrs Snape."

"If you still feel a need to punish the remaining three." She pointed towards the huddle. They whimpered at her words. "I'm open for creative suggestions. But for now, let us enjoy our meal in peace."

Amycus nodded in return.

Cora stepped lightly over Alecto, who cowered beneath her, and made her way towards the teacher's table. With elegance, she sat down next to her husband and mimicked his actions from before. The nausea still threatened to overcome her, but she let out a silent breath and forced herself to eat.

After a few bites, and when she was sure it wouldn't come up again, she adressed the head of Gryffindor.

"Professor MacGonnagal?"

"Yes?"

Cora poured herself a glass of wine. "You may remove the chained students from the hall. I do hate whimpering while I'm eating." She took a sip and pretended that the sight of the passed out students, nor the crying huddle, didn't bother her the slightest.

The Scot pursed her lips, but did as she was told. All six were quickly removed and escorted to the hospital wing.

Cora hoped the professor, together with Madam Pomfrey, would be able to erase this evenings events from the student's memories. She sure as hell would never forget them.

The rest of the dinner she used every technique she knew to keep her breath steady and face calm and collected. She ignored the hushed tone around the hall, and acted as if this was just another Saturday. Whenever her anger threatened to get the best of her, and she felt like hexing either the Carrows, her husband or her cousin, she took a small sip of wine and focused on the taste. The fruity flavor. The texture. How it matched perfectly with the venison stew.

When she couldn't stand it any longer, she tapped her lips with her napkin and placed it delicately beside her empty plate.

"Lovely." She gifted the professors around her a little smile, got to her feet and walked seemingly carefree out of the hall.

And the Oscar for greatest performance, goes to Cora Bellatrix Snape.

She kept her carefree walk apparent as she walked through the halls of Hogwarts. No picture, no ghost, were to see how she really felt. When she finally reached her new home, she closed the door carefully behind her and cast a silencing spell for good measure.

The roar that left her then, sounded like it came from the pits of Hell, and she fell to her knees.

Tears were streaming down her face and she bent forward in agony. She hit the carpet violently with her fists and landed as a ball on the floor. For half an hour she lay there sobbing, wishing to Merlin that this nightmare of a life would pass.

Her breath was shallow when she got to her feet again. She angrily dried her tears with her hands and went into the bathroom. The young woman in the mirror looked nothing like her.

Cora splashed some water in her face, to make her reflection go away. The cold water felt good for her warm, puffy eyes and wretched nerves. Looking back into the mirror, she was met with a pair of hollow, green eyes.

"This is not your fault," she told herself sternly. "You did what you had to do."

In the living room she could hear the door open and close, and she took a shuddering breath. Her husband had come home.

She felt like crying again. For how could she face him after all of this? What could she say? And what would their marriage be like?

"Cora?"

She blinked a couple of times, before straightening her back and opening the bathroom door. She didn't dare to linger there too long.

"Severus." She feigned indifferent and made her way to the armchair that had become hers.

Severus poured himself a glass of Fire Whiskey. Seeing his wife being so unsettled and upset, despite her efforts to look otherwise, he offered her a glass as well. Thankfully she accepted. She raised it in a little toast towards him and gulped down half of it. The usual twinkle in her eyes, was long gone.

Cora didn't know if he was awarding her for finally being her father's daughter, or if he pitied her. Frankly, she didn't care. He could rot in Hell for his lack of action. What kind of monster would let three first years be tortured in front of the entire school?

Then she remembered that she was also to blame. Sure, she had saved the three girls from torture, but not the other three. She'd been too afraid to act, and now she would have to live with it.

Had she raised her eyes a little bit, she would have seen the equal shame in her husband's eyes. He too had been a coward.

The two of them held onto their glasses for dear life and finished the contents in silence. Both stared into the flames in the fireplace, wishing they were anywhere else.

When the clock struck eleven, Cora slowly went into the bedroom, changed and got underneath the covers. She listened as Severus joined her, but kept her back to him. Exhausted, she finally fell asleep.

Severus watched her small frame and didn't know what to think of her. She had indeed saved the girls, but the heir of Slytherin had also awakened inside of her. The fact unsettled him more than just a bit.

Unable to fall asleep he summoned the house-elf into the living room and ordered him to watch over his wife. Then he put a black cloak over his pajamas and went to his office. He needed to think. And he needed Dumbledore's advice.

"My dear boy," the former Headmaster simply said when Severus entered his office.

"I didn't mean to. I didn't..." He paced before his desk, and then landed in the wooden chair. He didn't feel worthy of sitting in the Headmaster's chair.

"Tell me everything."

The story rambled out of him in bits and pieces. When he finished, he gave the portrait of professor Dumbledore a pleading look.

"I can't do this anymore. I really can't." His voice was trembling.

"You must, Severus."

The Slytherin rolled his eyes in exasperation. "And what if I refused?"

"Then all would be lost."

Severus looked down on his hands. He was so tired of this game. So very, very tired.

"And what of my wife?"

"What of her?"

"What part will she play in all of this?" He looked up again.

"That will be up to her, I'm afraid." Dumbledore sighed. "What her fate will be, is yet to be seen. She still has a choice ahead of her. To choose her father's side or to go against him."

"And what should I do until she does?"

"Tread very, very carefully, Severus."

Severus sighed. He wondered if his life would ever stop being complicated and painful. Surrounded by all the portraits of the former headmasters, he felt like the biggest disappointment in the room.

Eager to redeem a small part of himself, he there and then made an important decision. Should the Carrows ever feel like punishing a student like that again, he would demand that they sent them to him. Despite being notorious for dreadful detentions, he doubted he could ever come up with something half as evil as the Carrows.

Feeling a small glimmer of hope, he went back to bed and slowly fell asleep next to his wife. Before he shut his eyes, he cast a spell between them so he wouldn't draw her close to him in his sleep. The embarrassment of this mornings awakening, still made his cheeks burn.

--

The next morning, Severus woke up to find Cora staring blankly up into the ceiling. She had the same lost look on her face, as the night before. When she noticed that he too was awake, she sighed deeply and drew the covers up to her face before turning her back on him.

"Are you alright?"

"No," she mumbled into the duvet.

"Is there something that you need?"

She didn't reply, only shook her head.

Severus felt powerless. Despite being able to read minds, he had never quite understood the female brain. What they preferred, and what they didn't. After Lily he had discarded the art of romance completely. Only occasionally given into his lust and spent the night with some eager witch at the Leaky Cauldron or Three Broomsticks. He read their bodies easily enough, but their hearts were a different matter.

He watched Cora for a little while, wondering if he should stay or if she preferred to be alone. The latter didn't sit quite right with him, but he had no idea of what to do if he stayed.

"I can get one of your former roommates, if you'd like?" He most certainly didn't want them in his bedroom, but he was getting desperate.

"No. I'll... I'll be fine."

She was anything but fine. She sounded like her world had broken into a thousand pieces, but she didn't want to bother anyone with it.

Seeing her so vulnerable, made Severus hesitate for a moment, and then he did the thing he had sworn not to do again. He closed the gap between them and drew her close to him. Her body went stiff, but as he refused to let go, she let her shoulders relax a little bit and then the rest of her body.

"I hated it. Every moment of it," she confessed and sniffled. Severus didn't have to read her mind to know what she was referring to.

"I know," he murmured into her brown hair. Hearing her words gave him a slight relief, but he still had Dumbledore's warning in the back of his mind. She might feel guilty at the moment for casting the Unforgivable Curse, but that could change in a heart beat.

Cora closed her eyes and allowed herself to enjoy the warmth and comfort from his body. She still couldn't understand why he hadn't spoken up yesterday, or what made him tick in general, but she pushed the confusion and frustration aside. Calming herself down, somehow felt more important at the moment. And maybe once they had gotten to know each other better, she would ask him about it and he would give her an honest reply.

"Could we... could we stay in today?" she asked meekly, still with her eyes closed. "I don't feel like seeing anybody today." She hoped she didn't sound too pathetic for asking, but the thought of speaking with her classmates was simply too much.

"We may," Severus replied. He was rather tired too, if he was being honest. He yawned slightly, and allowed himself to drift for a bit. Feeling her relax even more, felt good for his wretched soul. At least he had done something right.

Cora felt her anger ease away. Like sand through an hourglass. Soon her mind would be clear again and she would know what to do about her situation. But for now, she selfishly enjoyed the closeness of their bodies.

Feeling even more selfish, she slowly turned around and pushed her face to his chest, while her arm anchored him to her. She could hear his heart beat faster through his black pajamas, and it made her smile. Her smile broadened when she felt his strong arms hold around her back, and making sure that she was warm enough.

"Thank you, Severus," she said drowsily.

"For what?" Severus barely dared to move, fearing she would suddenly run away.

"For this."

Now it was his turn to smile.

He knew they still had a long way to go. That she still burned with questions about things he would rather forget. And that this moment was her way of seeking comfort, nothing more. But still it felt good.

Her hand relaxed more around his waist. She had fallen asleep again. Looking down on her he dared to kiss the top of her head with careful lips.

Several hours later, when they awoke in the same position, it was past noon.

Cora wriggled a bit, but kept her hand around his waist. She looked up into a pair of black eyes, and studied them for a while.

"Why did you become a Death Eater?" His behavior of late, had her completely confused. And since she couldn't read his mind, she figured she might as well ask.

"It felt right at the time," he answered truthfully, after considering how much he should reveal to her. "Why?" His brows knitted together. She clearly wasn't satisfied with his answer this time either. A million thoughts seemed to run through her mind.

Seeing her so suspicious, he pulled back, creating space between them, both in bed and mind. If he was a spy, then what was she?

"What about yesterday? Did that feel right as well?" She pulled further back and narrowed her eyes.

"I wasn't the one to cast the curse, was I?" He blurted out defensively. He immediately regretted his bluntness when her eyes widened.

"Fuck you, Severus!" She muttered and got out of bed.

He shut his eyes and winced when she slammed the bathroom door shut.

Cora grabbed the sink with both hands and tried to get control over her breath again. When she looked up and found her reflections emerald eyes, she somehow also found a new determination.

With her new sense of calm, she showered and then walked naked through the living room towards the walking closet. He could watch her for all she cared.

After putting on a pair of black jeans and her favorite Rolling Stones t-shirt, she slipped into her black Converse shoes and stepped out of the closet.

On her way through the living room, she grabbed the book from her father. She watched Severus come out of the bedroom in his pajamas, and with a frustrated look on his face.

"If torturing first years, feels right to you, then I don't know who you are at all." She reached for the doorknob and muttered: "Maybe I never did."

"Cora..."

She closed the door behind her. Then she pulled in a sharp breath before she walked with determination towards the library.