Frozen belongs to Disney

Trigger warning: suicidal thoughts, trapped under ice / drowning

Chapter 18

The phone rang and Elsa blinked her eyes open, the darkness and quiet broken by glare and chirping. She rolled over; it was a number she didn't recognize, but the 47 told her it was from Norway. Wondering if it might be some kind of emergency, she slid her finger to pick up the call and put the phone on speaker.

"Hello, I'm looking for Miss Anderson?" a woman's voice asked in Norwegian.

"Speaking," Elsa replied.

"Good morning, I'm calling from NRK News, and we think our viewers would be interested in a segment on your recent pledge to donate to various refugee relief funds. I'm calling to inquire whether you would be available visit our studio…"

The voice turned into a buzz of background mumbling as Elsa's brain struggled to wake up.

"TV interview, Oslo," she thought.

"Oh I can't," she said, interrupting, "I'm… not in town."

"That's okay, we can work around your schedule," the woman said.

"I… I won't be back until March at the earliest," Elsa said. "And.. I'll have to clear it with my people. Can I call you back on this number?"

"Oh yes, that's perfectly alright," she replied.

"Okay. I'll be in touch," Elsa said, and they ended the call.

She stared down at her phone and wondered if NRK would send someone to the U.S. to track her down. Not that it mattered much, but it would certainly be disruptive, especially for Anna, who might be subjected to intense scrutiny. With thoughts of their relationship splashed across newspapers and social media, Elsa lay awake for another hour or so, until it was obvious she would not be returning to sleep. She showered, and, with hours still to go before her first class, her thoughts continued to percolate on Anna. Her hands clasped and unclasped as she paced back and forth in her bathrobe. She decided to make a cup of tea to try and calm down, and brought it to the window to sip while she watched the world wake up. Already, headlights cruised by on the road adjacent to the hotel, most of them headed to the interstate. Elsa cradled her teacup as the eastern sky turned a light shade of blue, then pink.

"What will you do, Elsa, if you lose control? What if, heaven forbid, you hurt her, like you did Ariel?" she thought. "She'd be terrified, of course. Who wouldn't be? And then she'll blame you. She'll blame you because you knew, and you put her in danger anyway, and then she will leave you."

The tea cooled to the point she could sip without blowing, and the sky brightened into something resembling daylight. Her lips turned into a frown as she swallowed. Her chest ached to the point she almost couldn't bear it at the thought of losing Anna, especially when things were going so well. She set the tea on the table and massaged her forehead with her fingertips.

"You'll just have to be extra careful, and make sure she never, ever finds out," she thought.

With an hour left before she had to get ready for class, she decided to give Weaselton a call to get his view on whether she should do an interview with NRK.

Anna's legs wobbled as she and Rapunzel climbed the hill back to their dorm. In a few days' time, they would play Northeastern, one of the best teams in the league, and Westergard had driven them to exhaustion today in an attempt to boost their conditioning ahead of the big game.

"Hey, I wanted to ask you…" Rapunzel said.

Anna, too exhausted to speak, responded with a nod.

"The frat guys got a good deal on a spring break trip to Jamaica. Flynn and I are going. Did you… maybe want to come?" Punzie asked.

"Jamaica…" Anna thought, "white sand beaches, clear waters, blue skies, bikinis and rum…"

"Is Hans going to be there?" Anna asked.

"Yeah, but-"

"Why the heck would I want to fly down to Jamaica if he's going?" Anna asked.

"Well, maybe Elsa could come and then we four could do our own thing," Rapunzel replied. "It's not like we have to hang out with the rest of them."

Anna fell quiet as they followed the footpath uphill. On the one hand, a spring break trip, the kind with no worries and where a bathing suit was the only required attire, sounded amazing, on the other…

"How much?" she asked.

"It's going to be about seven-hundred, including food and drinks and everything," Rapunzel replied.

Anna winced and shook her head.

"Maybe if I wasn't living on campus," she thought.

"There's no way. Damn," she said. The memory of Elsa in a two-piece came back to her, and she internally cursed her financial situation again. Rapunzel nodded, then kicked a pebble up the road.

"Sounds like fun though. Take some photos?" Anna said.

"Sure," Rapunzel replied, but she didn't sound excited.

All that day during classes, and then rehearsals, it ate at Anna, the fact that Flynn and Rapunzel were going to get to spend a week on a sunny Caribbean beach, having the time of their lives, while she was stuck up in freezing cold New Hampshire. Even if she filled every extra hour picking up as many deli shifts as she could and waitressed on the weekends, there was no way she could pull together seven hundred dollars in time.

"I wonder what Elsa is doing for spring break," she thought. She was certain her girlfriend would be willing to pay for the trip, and then some, but the real question was whether that was something she'd be okay with.

"Maybe I can bring it up at our study session tomorrow," she thought as she hiked up the darkened campus back to her dorm.

"So, they were supposed to march to Jerusalem but ended up sacking Constantinople instead. A lot of priceless artifacts were stolen or destroyed," Elsa said. "It was really a huge tragedy."

"Ugh, my brain is full," Anna said as she closed her notebook. She stood up and kicked some of her equipment, spread out across the floor to dry, out of the way as she walked to the other side of the bed and tucked it into her backpack. Elsa swallowed the rest of the review lesson and nodded.

"Yeah, we've been at it for a while," she said.

"Sooooo, I wanted to ask you, are you doing anything for spring break?" Anna asked as she zipped up her backpack.

"I'm heading home. There's this TV interview I'm supposed to do, and I'm going to pretend to be responsible and start learning about the company," Elsa replied.

"Oh. That's cool," Anna said, and she quirked her lips to the side in a somewhat gloomy manner.

"Sorry. But we can do something when I get back, another road trip?" Elsa said. Anna seemed to perk up a bit at that.

"Yeah okay. That'll be fun. Maybe I can figure out a few options and then we can choose," she said.

Elsa smiled.

"Sounds like a plan," she said.

"Speaking of plan… what do you think we should do now?" Anna asked.

"I don't know," Elsa said as she glanced to one side, "it's getting kind of late."

Anna took a step closer to her.

"Oh yeah," she said, "sure there isn't anything I could do to convince you to stay a little longer?"

Elsa smirked.

"Well, I didn't say that," she said.

Anna stepped right up to her and closed the remaining distance, leaning forward for a kiss. Elsa, already half-sitting on the bed, had to look up slightly to meet her lips, and closed her eyes as they met. Her heart immediately thumped against her ribs and her arms moved by themselves to encircle Anna's waist. She wanted nothing more than to set her hands against Anna's skin, to slide up beneath her shirt, but that was how she'd injured Ariel.

"Keep it down. Keep it in. Don't let her see," she thought.

Anna opened her mouth and Elsa welcomed her in. Her probing tongue, the fact she wanted to explore, never failed to set Elsa off. A soft sigh escaped Anna as they kissed, and warmth quickly spread from Elsa's belly to between her legs and her clothes suddenly felt exceedingly tight and restrictive. Anna lightly traced her fingers down Elsa's sides to her hips and pulled to twist her around to swap positions so Elsa could press her against the bed, but as she turned, Elsa stepped on an elbow pad and stumbled backwards, only for her other foot to land on some other piece of hockey equipment. She swung her arm to try and catch her balance, to no avail, and a burst of icy cold shot out and hit the wall as she fell unceremoniously to her rear. Panic lanced through her, and a layer of crackling frost quickly spread out across the thin carpet.

"No!" she thought.

She froze in place as the wall turned glistening white, and ice crackled as it continued to spread across the floor, matching the dread that slowly filled her. Anna's face bore an expression of confusion as she looked down at it.

"What the hell?" she said. She prodded it with her toe, and her sock stuck to it for a second as she pulled away.

"Don't touch it," Elsa said as she scrambled to her feet.

"Keep it down, don't let it out," she thought. Her fists balled and arms crossed over her chest, but it wasn't helping; the ice continued to spread as Anna backed up towards the window. She looked up at Anna, at her beautiful teal eyes that quickly turned from confusion to fear.

"Elsa?" she said.

Pressure built and ice spread faster; the explosion was coming. Try as she might, Elsa was losing the battle.

"Danger! You have to get away from her!" she thought. She turned around and grasped the door handle, which immediately froze over and prevented her from opening it. With a sharp twist and a yank, ice chips clattered to the ground and the door swung inwards. On stocking feet, Elsa fled down the hallway to the stairwell, then up the steps. She put her shoulder into the door to the roof and burst out into the night air. Pure winter erupted from her in all directions, blasting out into an icy blizzard in mere seconds. The sky, previously partly cloudy, vanished completely from view and the wintry vortex, with Elsa at its center, whipped her braid and tugged at her clothing as she stumbled towards the edge of the building.

"Oh God, how far out is it going?" she thought. She squinted, but driving snow blocked visibility, and she couldn't even make out the dining hall less than a hundred meters away. Forlorn despair filled her, drove away any brief happiness she might have felt, for now it was only a matter of time; either Anna would leave her, or she would be forced to leave Anna to keep her safe.

"That's it. It's all over. I'm going to be alone again," she thought. She looked down at her hands as ice and snow leapt from them to join the blizzard. "I was so stupid, foolish to think this time would be any different. All I do is hurt people."

The thought of Anna's face, her smile, came to her, and crushing agony stabbed at her chest.

"Elsa!"

"No," Elsa thought as she turned around. There was Anna, no shoes, hat, or jacket, leaning into the wind, hand held to the side of her face to ward off stinging shards of ice. Elsa closed her fists and backed away.

"Anna, you have to get out of here," she said.

"Not without you," Anna said as she continued pressing forward.

"You don't understand, it's not safe… I… I can't control it!" Elsa said. Her calf bumped into the raised lip at the edge of the roof.

Anna paused.

"Are you saying all this… it's coming from you?" she asked as she gestured around at the storm.

Elsa closed her eyes and bit her lip.

"Yes! It's all me, and you have to stay away because… because you could be hurt," Elsa said.

Anna paused, then continued walking towards her.

"No, you would never hurt me," Anna said. Elsa grit her teeth.

"Do it, you have to keep her safe," she thought.

"You don't believe that. I can see it in your eyes; you're terrified. And you should be. Don't you understand? I'm a monster. I hurt people, that's all I do. That's all I'm good for," Elsa said. It was the truth, but it still pained her to say it, and tears flicked off from her eyes and froze to her cheeks. Snow already covered the rooftop up to Anna's ankles, but she kept edging closer, and Elsa backed up until she hit the corner of the roof.

"That's not true. I know you," Anna said. "You always go out of your way to help me, even when you don't have to."

Images from their brief time knowing one another, the few dates they had been on, flashed across Elsa's vision.

"That was just… No, you don't know me. You don't know who I've hurt in the past, who I've killed," Elsa said. That made Anna pause.

"We can talk about it," she said as she leaned into the wind again. Elsa stepped up to the top of the lip and glanced over the edge. The three-story drop to the parking lot made her dizzy, and she looked away.

"Would that kill me? Maybe if I landed on my head. But maybe a gigantic snow drift would form to catch me… who knows?" she thought.

"Elsa," Anna said, a quaver in her voice, "Elsa, get down off the edge."

She had stopped walking.

"No, not until you back up," Elsa said.

"Elsa please, get down off the edge!" Anna said.

"Not until you go back inside. And then… as soon as this ends, I'm going to leave, and you'll never see me again," Elsa said. Anna's mouth dropped open.

"No you won't. You can't," she said. Her voice and expression, pure hurt and betrayal, tore at Elsa, but she stayed firm. She had to, for Anna's sake, even though the pain was excruciating. Tears continued to weep from her eyes and formed an icy trail on her cheek.

"I can, and I will. It's for your own good. I have to keep you safe," Elsa said. She glanced over the edge of the lip again, at the pavement, already obscured by a thin but growing layer of snow.

"You can't leave," Anna said, and now Elsa was pretty sure the redhead had tears running down her face too, "I mean… please don't leave. You… I know you won't hurt me."

"How? How can you know that?" Elsa asked, exasperated. She made a violent gesture with one hand, and that seemed to only add to the storm.

"Why is she so stubborn?" she thought.

"I… don't you understand, I love you!" Anna said, one hand clutched to her chest. Elsa's eyes widened at the revelation. Anna loved her? Already? Impossible.

"No," Elsa said even as her heart dared to hope, "you…why?"

"I just do. Come down from the ledge and let's talk. Please," Anna said.

"She loves you," Elsa thought. "Think about it, what would Anna feel, what would it do to her if you splattered on the ground right in front of her? She'd be devastated. You can't do that to her. But you can't stay with her either."

"Oh… no," Elsa said as she stepped down off the edge and curled into a ball on the corner of the roof.

"What are you going to do?" she thought. Arms wrapped around her, and she opened her eyes to see Anna's knees planted in the snow as she embraced her.

"No," Elsa said weakly, "get away."

She tried to shove Anna with her shoulder but the redhead wouldn't budge.

"It's okay, I've got you. I'm here," Anna said, "and I'll never leave you."

Panic gave way to wonder, however, as Elsa looked up at the sky beyond Anna's face. The clouds rapidly cleared away, and the stars twinkled as if nothing had ever happened. Before long, all trace of the blizzard, except the small drifts that had built up on the roof and the blanket of white across campus, had vanished, leaving the calm serenity that only comes with fresh snowfall.

"What?" Elsa thought. "That's never… never happened before. But it doesn't matter. She'll still leave you… but maybe… maybe you can enjoy this moment, at least."

A shuddering sob escaped her, and she let Anna hold her and shush her as she wept. It felt so damn good, and she cried all the harder with the knowledge that she would have to give it all up.

"Elsa?" Anna said, "I know you're from Norway and all, but I don't have a jacket and…"

She realized Anna was shivering.

"Idiot, of course she's freezing," she thought.

"Oh, right," she said as she wiped her nose and cheeks.

"Come on, let's go inside," Anna said. Feeling like an inmate heading to her execution, Elsa let herself be led back to the stairwell, now with puddles instead of ice coating the steps, and back into Anna's room. The frost had melted into a large dark patch on Anna's carpet, and the snow which clung to their socks rapidly melted. Anna pulled hers off while Elsa stood near the door with soaking wet feet.

"Hot chocolate?" Anna asked, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. She busied herself with pouring water into mugs and setting them in the microwave. As it hummed and they rotated around, she looked back at Elsa, who bit her lip in response.

"Come on," Anna said. She took Elsa by the arm and pulled her into the room. "Up, on the bed."

Elsa hopped up onto Anna's spare bed.

"Let's get these off…" the redhead said as she peeled her socks off and tossed them in the general vicinity of her laundry basket.

Elsa retreated to sit with her back against the wall and hugged her knees to her chest. The microwave dinged and Anna poured the cocoa powder in, then used a disposable fork to stir them. She handed one mug to Elsa, who accepted it with a forced smile.

"Thank you," she said.

"Uh huh," Anna said. She blew across the top of her mug and took a small sip. "So… I think I've moved beyond freaking out and now I'm just numb. Umm… what the fuck just happened?"

Elsa took a deep breath, her heart like lead in her chest.

"I… I have magic ice powers," Elsa said.

Anna blinked.

"Okay I was kind of expecting that but it's still weird to hear it," she said. "And… like…"

"I've had them since I was born," Elsa said.

Anna nodded.

"Uh huh. Okay," she said.

She took a step back to lean against her bed, then set the mug on the desk and stared off into space.

"Anna, I'm so, so sorry," Elsa said. Anna blinked and looked back to her.

"Huh? What, for not telling me?" Anna asked as she picked up her faded blue water bottle and turned it over in her hands.

"For not telling you, and…" Elsa said, then she sighed heavily and looked down.

"Hey, I get it, you have like… a secret identity, or whatever?" Anna said. She placed the empty bottle on her desk and picked up her hot chocolate again.

"No, that's not it… You're freaking out a little bit now, but soon you're going to think about it… and you're going to realize that I knew all along, and I still chose to go out with you. I chose to put you at risk," Elsa said.

"I… well…" Anna said, but the words continued to tumble out of Elsa's mouth.

"Because I'm selfish. And you'll realize that if I really cared about you, I never would have done that, I would have kept my distance," Elsa said. "And then…"

"And then you'll leave," Elsa thought, but she couldn't bear to utter the words out loud.

"What are you saying?" Anna asked. She had stood up and crossed the gap between the beds, a crease of worry between her eyebrows. "Because it sounds like you're breaking up with me? That you regret ever going out with me in the first place…?"

Her face threatened to crumple, and Elsa quickly shook her head.

"No. Of course not. The last month has been the happiest of… ever," she replied. "The happiest I've ever been-"

"Me too," Anna said, her face desperately hopeful, and Elsa's heart lifted to hear her say it, despite herself, but then she looked down at the mattress.

"Happier than I deserve," Elsa added.

"Stop that, right now," Anna said. "You deserve to be happy. Everyone does."

Elsa shook her head.

"I did a horrible thing. You could have gotten seriously hurt," she said. Anna looked confused at that, and she took Elsa's hand in her own.

"But I'm fine, and… didn't you hear what I said?" Anna said, and she leaned forward to put her arms up on Elsa's knees and rest her chin on them. Anna face filled her vision. Stunning blue-green eyes stared into her own, into her soul, so intense it pained her, but they transfixed her as well; she couldn't look away. "I love you, Elsa Anderson. I'm not leaving, and I'm not… and I don't want you to leave, either."

The vision blurred as tears welled up again.

"I don't… I don't deserve-"

"Yes, you do," Anna said, and she thunked a fist lightly on top of Elsa's head. "Luckily, I'm the one who gets to decide who does and doesn't deserve me. Whatever else happens, magic ice powers or… anything… we can handle it together. I know we can."

She climbed up onto the bed and sat cross-legged, then put an arm around Elsa's shoulder and pulled her close.

"You don't have to do it all on your own," Anna said quietly.

"How did she do that? How did she know exactly what to say?" Elsa thought. Her resolve shattered, she let her head fall against Anna's shoulder, still damp from the snow. It felt so good, so right, and she wanted so badly to let Anna comfort her, to feel her touch, to be cared for. They sat like that for some time, then Elsa let Anna maneuver them so her head lay in the redhead's lap. Elsa closed her eyes as Anna stroked her forehead and brushed her bangs away from her face. A spark of hope rekindled in her chest, that with the blizzard dissipating so quickly, maybe, just maybe, there might be some chance of staying together, and staying safe. For now, with the storm inside of her quiet, she lost herself in the small caresses Anna graced her with.

"Thank you," Elsa whispered.

"Can we talk, a little?" Anna asked.

Elsa nodded.

"You said you killed someone? Was it something like that game at the Olympics?" Anna asked.

Elsa winced and rolled to her side to bring her knees up. The memories were painful, but Anna deserved to know everything.

"My mother. I was seven, and I lost control. We were skating on a pond near my home town. She wanted to show me a jump, but when she landed, I guess the ice was too thin, and she broke through," Elsa said. Even now, the horrible cracking and splashing sound came to her. "I was so scared, I couldn't control it… when she tried to come up, the hole had frozen over… and she couldn't get out. They went and got axes, but… it was too late." She swallowed and squeezed her eyes shut as the vision came to her, the one that had haunted her nightmares for years, of her mother hammering fists futilely against ice, ice that she had conjured and couldn't remove, until the bubbles came, until the hammering slowed, then stopped, and she sank and vanished from view. "Afterwards, they couldn't figure out where the hole had gone, but my father knew, and the people in the town suspected. After that, nobody wanted to be near me, and my father kept me home, hired tutors. The only exception was hockey."

"That's terrible… but you were only seven," Anna said.

Elsa nodded.

"And your father?" Anna asked.

She shook her head.

"No, that was a normal car accident, but… if I was at home, I'm sure it would be the same. They'll say it was my fault. That I'm cursed," Elsa said.

"You could have saved him, but you didn't think. If you'd stopped for two minutes, he'd still be alive," Elsa thought, and she closed her eyes again.

"But how… why would they think it's your fault?" Anna asked.

"There were a few… minor incidents, and people talk," Elsa replied. "Pretty soon, the only time anyone wanted to have anything to do with me was because of my father, or my play on the ice."

Anna's fingers kept tracing patterns on Elsa's head as she thought.

"But… you had a girlfriend? Before me?" she asked.

Elsa nodded.

"That was later. There was an accident… I had my hand on her waist and… I didn't mean to. She had severe frostbite, and lost part of her kidney," Elsa said. "Obviously, the doctors couldn't explain it, and we couldn't tell them. She ended up leaving… I mean… we agreed to go our separate ways. It wasn't safe for us to be together."

"That and her parents thought I was some kind of demon-spawn," Elsa thought.

"And that's why you…" Anna said, and she slid her hand down Elsa's arm, to where her hand remained balled up. "It's okay."

Elsa let her pry her fingers apart, and Anna slipped her own fingers, warmed from the hot chocolate, between them to lace together. Nothing happened, no ice escaped, and the simple gesture felt so good, so natural, she had to fight back another sob.

"I'm so sorry," Elsa said. "I tried to stay away. I knew it wasn't safe, I…"

She squeezed Anna's hand and wrapped her other arm around Anna's waist.

"I don't regret going out with you, not at all. Please don't think that, but I… how can this work, if staying with me means you could be hurt? Or worse?" Elsa said.

Anna stayed quiet at first and just held Elsa's hand and stroked her hair, until she quieted and calmed down. She could sit like this forever, with Anna's hand in hers, her head in Anna's lap, Anna's fingers in her hair.

"Maybe it's okay," Anna said. "I mean… this is still completely crazy to me and I have no idea how any of it works but… when I got close to you upstairs, the wind like… died. I almost fell over."

Elsa thought back; she certainly hadn't felt any difference, but sitting with Anna now… she felt calm, serene; it almost was like nothing had ever gone wrong.

"Can you like… use it whenever you want?" Anna asked. Elsa pushed herself up into a sitting position and nodded.

"You can't tell anyone," she said. Anna's eyes widened and she shook her head seriously.

"Oh no, believe me, your secret identity is safe with me. I mean really, who would believe me?" Anna said. She smiled and let out a nervous chuckle, and Elsa bit her lip. With a wave of her fingers, she created a perfectly round snowball, but it was difficult; instead of opening a spigot a fraction of an inch to let the magic flow, she had to consciously coax it out.

"Whoa," Anna breathed, eyes wide. Elsa held it out, and Anna picked it up. "It's cold."

Elsa laughed, both at Anna's observation and at the wonder on her face.

"It's snow," she said.

"So… is this why you're never cold?" Anna asked. She didn't seem afraid, really, or judgmental, just curious. Elsa nodded.

"It doesn't matter how cold, it doesn't bother me at all. I stripped naked on top of a mountain, and nothing," Elsa said.

"You…" Anna said, and she licked her lips, "you didn't happen to take any photos or anything, did you?"

Elsa chuckled again.

"Anna's joking, that's a good thing!" she thought as she shook her head. "No, but maybe I could, next time."

Anna swallowed, then she stood up and walked to the micro fridge to put the snowball in the small freezer section.

"What else can you do?" she asked.

"I can make ice… remember Halloween, in the haunted house, when ice covered the floor in the dark room?" Elsa replied.

"That was you?" Anna asked. Elsa nodded.

"And umm… when I'm playing hockey, I can sort of sense where everyone is," she said. Anna stood up straighter at that.

"Hey… something like that happened to me in the last game," she said, "it was only for a second, but it was like I knew where everyone was and where they were going and…"

Elsa stared in confusion at Anna, who stared right back.

"What the hell? Did I somehow transfer something to Anna?" Elsa thought.

"Yeah, it's like that," Elsa said, "but I've never… weird."

"Weird? That's what you have to say? If it's weird to you, how do you think I feel? Sheesh," Anna said, and Elsa smirked. Something was going on, that much was certain. Could she dare to hope? As she ruminated, Anna walked over with deliberate steps. She picked up Elsa's hand by the wrist and spread her fingers open, then used her fingertip to trace patterns on her palm.

"Your ex… you stayed away from her, no problem," Anna said.

"Yes, well…" Elsa said, and she had been about to mention she'd actually injured Ariel, and her parents had taken her to the hospital, and they had split up by mutual agreement, but then she understood Anna's point, at least she thought she did.

"I'm not drawn to her the way I am to you," she thought, and it was true. The romantic spark she'd had with Ariel paled utterly in comparison with the ever-present, incandescent, overwhelming radiance of her feelings for Anna. Was it love? She wasn't sure, but if this wasn't love, she couldn't see how the real thing could be any more intense.

"You said you love me," Elsa said. Anna nodded. "I… how do you know?"

Anna turned to look at her.

"I just do," she said, and she placed Elsa's palm on her cheek. Elsa stiffened up, but nothing happened. Anna's cheek was warm under her fingers.

"Tell her you love her back," Elsa thought, but doubt filled her, and when she opened her mouth, nothing came out. Anna smiled, reached around to embrace her, then pulled back and kissed her softly on the lips.

"This is ridiculous. You are a billionaire heiress, you have magic ice powers, and you have actually dated a woman before. You should be the one leading her," she thought, but those notions dissolved into nothingness in the presence of Anna's kiss. She resigned and let herself be led, let herself be convinced that so long as Anna was with her, it didn't matter where they went or what they did, that together, they could face anything.