Chapter 11: Truth Will Out

"The greater part of the truth is always hidden, in regions out of the reach of cynicism."

—J.R.R. Tolkien

Night had fallen and Tabi was still in the infirmary. Her lessons that afternoon had consisted of nothing but the proper way to wash the scalpels, scissors, and other such instruments: wash the tools in scalding water, wrap the tools in boiled linens, and place in a polished, sterile box. There they would stay until they were used once more. If they were unable to wash in boiling water, watered down brandy would be used. Tabi had been both surprised and impressed that such medieval healers knew to use a type of alcohol to sterilize tools.

Tabi was drying her hands after dumping the cooling pot of water into the draining basin. The basin would empty into iron pipes that lead out along the stone wall of the garden, watering the plants along the wall.

"Well, Miss Underhill," Healer Grubb began, coming into the room. "I think your first lesson was a success. What did you think of your own lessons this afternoon?"

"Very informative," she answered with a smile and with the complete truth. "I look forward to tomorrow."

Healer Grubb grinned and clapped her on the back. "I'm glad to hear it. Mister Merry will be along shortly to retrieve you from my care," he answered. "Feel free to look at my books on plants while you wait, my dear, but I have a few odds and ends to do in my office."

"Thank you," she nodded with a smile.

"Go ahead and holler when you leave, lass."

"Will do."

Tabi dropped her smile as Healer Grubb turned out of the room and crossed the hall to his office. Before her first CPR lesson, she had asked Daffodil to retrieve her pack for her and set it in the classroom. She cited there were things in it she would need, and as the lass would be part of the next lesson, she would never know. Tossing her towel into the linen hamper, Tabi peaked out into the hallway.

No one was coming.

She hurried quickly down the hallway, past Grubb's office, and into the classroom in which her first lesson had been. Behind the desk at the front of the room, she had stowed her pack, and now she pulled it out from beneath the chair and swung it onto her back. Mentally she went over everything she had managed to fit into it:

Her cloak, the travel tunic, a change of clothes, her coin purse, and some dried meat and bread she had stolen when no one was looking at luncheon. She would pick a few apples in the orchard before she made for the road.

Adjusting the straps of the pack, Tabi gave a last look around. She wished it would be worth her while to stay in such a place as Brandy Hall. It was quaint, she was making friends, and she certainly loved the scenery and the work she was doing. She could possibly make a life here. If she wasn't in danger of ruining Middle-earth's chances against Sauron. If she didn't need answers of her own.

Tabi took a deep breath and went to the window and opened it. The fresh night air crept in, and the evening blooms of the healing gardens gave Tabi an unexpected thrill to be leaving out a window. Quickly she tapped her forehead, her sternum and each shoulder, and hoisted herself onto the window ledge.

She wasn't religious, and even if she was, she doubted the sign would bless her in Middle-earth anyways. But she could use all the luck she could get.

Swinging her legs over the windowsill Tabi heard a creak in the floorboards.

"You wouldn't be about to run out on our agreement, would you?" came Merry's voice behind her.

With only a second to debate, Tabi made to jump out of the window, only for Merry's arms to suddenly warp around her waist and haul her back inside.

"No, get off me!" she hissed, twisting this way and that with all her might, but his grip was iron hard.

"Stars above, you're like a cat," he returned, though he managed to drag her off the windowsill and her feet hit the floor with a thud. Merry dropped her onto the ground and Tabi quickly rolled to her feet and hurried towards the door of the classroom.

Merry barred her way. "You made a promise to me, Miss Underhill."

Tabi pursed her lips, knowing very well such things were held sacred in Middle-earth. "You don't understand," she answered, trying for the window.

"Then allow me to," Merry grunted, as he caught her under her arms. He hauled her backwards into his chest, where she tried to shake herself free, and she very nearly succeeded. "You…are stronger than you look."

Tabi gave a final jerk, slipping out of Merry's grip. "Thank you."

"Miss Underhill," Merry warned. "Do not drag Healer Grubb into this. Even his old ears will catch these sounds."

"Then let me leave," she pleaded.

"Not with those men out there," he replied. "And you made a promise to me this morning."

Tabi shook her head as Merry came forward. Backing away from him Tabi sighed. "I can't…you don't understand how big of a threat I am to you."

"Allow me to understand. Allow me to help you," Merry repeated, taking a step forward for every step backward she took. "I told you already I will believe anything you tell me."

"How can you believe something even I don't believe?" she whispered.

Tabi only became aware of what Merry was doing when she backed into the wall. She had no means of escape, and as much as she hated to admit it, she was tired. She desperately wanted help. Help to understand, someone to talk to about what had happened. He was going to talk her down, and she knew suddenly that Merry would win.

Tabi closed her eyes and let tears fall for a moment, letting herself weep for her failure. Sniffling, she opened her eyes, to see Merry offering his hand to her. "Let me help you, Miss Underhill," he whispered.

Swallowing a sob, Tabi reached out for his hand. Merry closed the gap and took hold of her hand, leading her out of the Infirmary. And just like that, Tabi knew the fate of Middle-earth could have just changed. Merry's certainly would. All because she was too weak to go it alone.

Tabi numbly followed Merry into his office, that, to her surprise, was several doors away from his father's. Inside, a fire was already burning. Tabi saw that Merry's desk was made of the same oak as his father's, and shined like new, but was much smaller. Two glasses sat next to a bottle of Brandy along with books and journals piled neatly, much like his father's.

Behind the desk Tabi smiled to see a group of singular paintings. One each of his parents, a younger cousin with bright green eyes who seemed rather scrawny. She wondered if that was Pippin. Then a portrait of a dark-haired hobbit with striking blue eyes, and her heart told her that was Frodo. And in the center was a portrait of a hobbit with brownish-white hair, who had a certain twinkle in his eye and similar eyes to who she assumed to be Frodo. Bilbo was looking back at her from a painting. Her smile fell as Merry offered her a seat.

Merry sat down across from Miss Underhill as she took a seat in a floral cushioned chair. He poured them both a glass of brandy from the decanter and handed one to the lass across from him. Swilling his in his mouth, savoring the flavor, Merry watched as Miss Underhill drank hers in one shot. He swallowed slowly, as she poured herself second glass with shaking hands. She took that in one shot and went to pour herself a third.

Hating to admit that he was mildly impressed, Merry leaned over the desk and placed his hand over her full glass before she could drink it. "Let's slow down on that shall we?"

Miss Underhill sighed and leaned back into her chair. "Good God," she muttered, crossing both her arms and legs. The lass looked around the room, her eyes taking in the books of herbology and old names that sat on his desk. A ghost of a smile played on her lips, almost against her will.

Merry looked at her questioningly, not understanding her uttered phrase, but felt the same wisdom knowledge that set him on edge in her eyes. Quelling his annoyance, knowing he was about to get what he wanted, he gently nudged her: "Start at the beginning."

Taking a deep breath, the lass looked him in the eye. "What I told you at Bamfurlong was the truth. I was walking home from my uncle's diner—tavern to you, I suppose. That's what my shirt meant. It's just a place you go to eat. We serve sweets, ice cream, hot food…the red was just part of the color scheme, it didn't mean anything special…" she trailed off. So far so good, everything still made sense, though he wasn't quite sure what ice cream meant.

"My full name is Tabitha Johannsen. I'm Dutch-German on both sides…" she paused and took another breath. As she continued to hold his stare, Merry felt all the wisdom in her glance, and he braced himself. He had no idea what a Dutch-German was, but he could feel the truth in her heritage.

"I am not a Hobbit. I was born of the Race of Men." Merry looked at her in confused surprise. Her words continued to ring true. "Where I come from hobbits are only a fictional race. They were created by a man named J.R.R. Tolkien."

Miss Underhill—rather Miss Johannsen—stopped talking and stared at the desk, waiting for Merry to say something. With a glance to his own glass of brandy, Merry snatched it and took the rest in one gulp and withheld the urge to take another one the same way. He leaned against the desk and studied her. Everything she said rang true.

He took a breath. "You—you're not—? We—Hobbits don't exist in your…where you're from?" he managed.

"Neither do Elves or Dwarves, or Orcs or Wizards."

"We are like a…fairytale?"

"I—sure."

"So, you are a…fairy?" he asked. He had considered this more than once, but never really thought it could be true. It was said that one of his Took ancestors had taken a fairy for a wife, but that was something he never really believed.

The lass looked at him confused for a moment, before something dawned on her and she shook her head. "Rather, I think a victim of a Wizard. Because this all was surely against my will."

Merry steadied himself. Everything was ringing true, even her own theories. "And—uh—who is this…J.R.R. Tolkien?"

"To put it simply, he was an author. He wrote books about the world of Middle-earth, Hobbits being a race of his own invention."

Merry took a deep breath. Everything was still true, he was surely getting what he asked for, but not what he thought he was going to get.

"Alright." He gripped the edges of his desk and pulled his chair in. "What—what is the story or stories about?"

Miss Johannsen made a pitiful whimper and chugged the last of her brandy. She took a deep breath. "The first one I ever read was about…" she looked above Merry's head to the portraits behind him. Merry followed her eyes, seeing that she was looking at Bilbo.

"What does that portrait have to do with anything you have said?" he asked, in a faint voice. Did she know about Bilbo's journey?

"The first story I ever read about Hobbits was about Bilbo Baggins, and his journey with Thorin Oakenshield and the company of Thirteen Dwarves."

Merry stared at her. Her words were true. He was positive. He crossed his arms, then uncrossed them before settling on rubbing his face. Did she know—

"I know about the Ring, Merry," she sighed, guessing what his mind was thinking, and dropping all formalities. His mouth went dry at the familiar use of his name. "I know all about it, more than you. I know of the Conspiracy between you, Fatty, Pippin, and Sam…"

Merry looked at her, his body numb. He ran his hand through his hair. "And where were you going just now? To—to look for Gandalf?"

The lass's eyes welled with tears, and she took a calming breath. "In a sense."

"What does that mean?"

Miss Johannsen rubbed her face but held her composure. "Gandalf has already left the Shire and I know I could never catch up to him. Right now, I wouldn't want to. I was hoping to find a Ranger in Bree and hopefully be taken to Rivendell either by him or one of Elrond's people."

Merry waited a beat. She knew Gandalf was gone, had been for weeks. "What is Gandalf doing that you wouldn't want to catch up to him?"

The lass took a deep breath. "I messed this all up. Everything is out of order." Another deep breath and Merry shifted, feeling his face begin to flush with annoyance. "The Men who took me had come into my uncle's diner; in hindsight they were looking for me. They mentioned the Wizard Saruman, and that he wanted me."

Merry withheld an irritated sigh but allowed her to tell her story in her own way. She was overwhelmed herself. "Who is Saruman?"

"Saruman the White is one of Gandalf's order. But he is a traitor. That is where Gandalf is, with Saruman, and he has recently learned of the White Wizard's betrayal. Saruman was once a great and wise Wizard but has since fallen to the Dark Lord. My belief, is that perhaps I was sent here because of Gandalf's confrontation with him."

Merry nodded slowly, understanding that there was much more to that story, but certainly did not pertain to this story. "And you know this because of a book," he said slowly.

"Yes, I know everything. I—I know the future of your world."

Merry nodded, now understanding the heavy glances he had gotten from her, how he felt that she knew what he was doing: because she had. "How does it—this end?"

"That I will not tell you. I am only going to tell you enough that it won't put your future at risk. And that is a final hard answer." She said this with such fierceness that Merry held out his hands and nodded.

Merry cupped his chin and thought for a long few moments. "And you think you were brought here because of what you know?"

"Yes. But what I don't understand is why me. There are so many other people who know so much more than I do about Middle-earth, about…well about everything. I can't wrap my head around why a lonely little waitress from a Midwest farm town. Don't even know how the hell I turned into a Hobbit. Don't know how the hell Lotho knew."

Merry's eyes snapped to hers. "Lotho knows?" he said in a deep voice.

"He knows Saruman, or Sharky as he calls him, is looking for me, and he knows the two men who took me. Apparently, their names are Marroc and Bryn."

Merry felt his body calm. At least Lotho didn't know about Frodo. But Merry asked the question anyway, to be sure.

"To my knowledge Lotho knows nothing about the Ring or what Frodo has to do with it, but I suspect he thinks it has something to do with Frodo and Bilbo, and why Frodo is selling Bag End. All Lotho knows is that I have information that Saruman wants."

Merry nodded and covered his mouth. "And you think Saruman is the reason you are here?"

"I don't think Gandalf would have sent those nasty men after me. But…the more I think about it, and while I don't understand it, I think Gandalf is the reason I'm…well…"

"A Hobbit?"

"Yeah."

There was a small pause. "How does Lotho know Saruman then?"

Miss Johannsen looked up sadly. "Have there been any shortages of pipeweed?"

Merry straightened up. Maggot's worries had been rightfully placed. "Lotho has been selling it to Saruman," Merry said. The lass nodded. "So, that must be why he came around asking to see the pre-harvest legers."

It was Miss Johannsen's turn to straighten up. "You didn't show him, did you?"

Merry met her eyes again. "No. My father refused as Buckland is his business and not Lotho's."

She nodded. "If it can be helped, he shouldn't see any ledgers from anywhere."

"Aye…so when Lotho was…grabbing you the way he was this morning, was he threatening you?"

"I think…Maybe he thought if he was the one to hand me to Saruman he would be rewarded. He was trying to extort me into going back to Sackville with him."

Merry nodded. "Slimy pig," he muttered.

"That's an insult to slime and pigs."

Merry couldn't help the chuckle that escaped.

"So, if you know of the conspiracy why didn't you tell me, if you knew we were going to head for Rivendell? Unless…we don't make it."

The lass narrowed her eyes at him. "You're fishing for information, and we both know it." Merry raised his eyebrows in surprise but nodded, admitting to his game. "But I will tell you this: you all do make it, alive, the conspiracy is a success. I chose to go alone because I didn't want to attract any trouble towards Frodo. Because all that happens on your way to Rivendell … its integral to the future of Middle-earth. To everything."

Merry nodded. "I believe you. And I trust you, I want you to know that. Everything you've said has rung true."

"I never wanted to lie to you or your parents…I just…I wanted to survive long enough to go home."

Merry felt his heart dip at the words. He had quite forgotten that in all of this, she really wasn't home and she had been ripped away from everything she knew. Then a feeling of appreciation mixed with admiration flooded through him. She was about to sacrifice her safety, sacrifice everything for the sake of his cousin that she had only ever read about. And she was prepared to do anything to keep Frodo safe. And suddenly, he knew he could trust her. Trust her with anything and everything. She would have willingly ran headfirst into danger for people she had never met.

Merry reached out both of his hands to her and urged her to take them. Slowly she did so, and he gripped both of her hands tightly. She looked up into his eyes as he leaned over the desk toward her.

"You have my word, Tabitha, as a gentle-hobbit, as a Brandybuck, friend, and now co-conspirator, that I will see to it that you get to Rivendell safely. I promise you I will see you home safely." He squeezed her hands with each word of his final sentence.

Miss Johannsen's eyes welled with tears, that she quickly blinked back. "Thank you," she managed.

"You are most welcome."

Tabi let go of Merry's hands and leaned back into her chair once more. She felt lighter than she had in weeks, her breathing came easier, but she felt drained, like after a good, hard cry. Leaning against the arm of the chair, she cradled her head in one hand. Perhaps now it was time to go to bed.

"Now," Merry sighed, sitting back in his own chair and straightening the cuff of his sleeves. "What are those marks I saw this morning?"

Tabi glanced from him to her arms. "I have never been sure," she answered, rubbing her arms, suddenly feeling cold at the thought of the marks. "I had a nightmare last night, and I woke up with them. Things like that have happened since I was a child."

"What was the dream about?"

Tabi studied her skirt and shook her head. "I am not comfortable discussing that. It was too horrible."

Merry nodded. "Is that how those burns appeared?"

"Yes, a few hours before I was attacked."

"How long do they usually last?"

"Depends on what they look like. The burns lasted about a week; I've never had marks quite like these. I think they're getting worse."

"Because the dreams are?"

Tabi answered with a nod. "I fear my whereabouts are already known, to people worse than Saruman. But what they can do about, I have no idea."

"And Lotho was sent to flush you out. It worked."

"It's better they find me than Frodo and the Ring."

Merry sat quietly for some time after Tabi's words. He had his arms crossed and he turned in his chair this way and that in agitated thought. Tabi let him think. Her mind felt too exhausted to come up with any other theories. And if Merry was nearly done with his questions, she would like to go to bed. Though she very much doubted he was finished, and it could take a lifetime to sate his questions.

"I think," Merry began, and Tabi nearly jumped. "I think we ought to tell my father. Just about the marks and perhaps Lotho's behavior towards you. If you wish to."

Tabi opened her mouth to protest, but Merry held up his hand. "The Wizard marks we should tell him about, because if you are to come with me to meet Frodo, we will have to tell him something about your coming along. No one would allow you to join Fatty and I at Crickhollow. That would certainly ruin all of our reputations.

"But, if it were known we were taking you to Gandalf to help regain your memory, well that would be easier explained away."

"But Gandalf won't be there," Tabi argued. "I already told you; he's held prisoner by Saruman. He won't be rescued for some weeks yet."

"Wait—you said he was confronting Saruman, not that he was held prisoner," Merry interjected.

"Damnit, I'm not used to discussing these things with someone who doesn't know what happens," Tabi sighed. "Yes, Saurman holds Gandalf prisoner for weeks. Gandalf tries to talk him down from his betrayal, but it does not work. But that's—that's really beside the point—Gandalf doesn't meet you again until Rivendell."

"Then how do we—" Merry stopped his question at a hard look from Tabi. "Another time for that then. Regardless, we need to use Gandalf as an excuse for my father to allow you to come with us to Bag End and eventually to leave with us."

Tabi wanted to protest, she really did, but what he was saying made sense. No one in their right mind here would allow her to go to Crickhollow and wait with two men unattended. But journeying to Bag End with two respectable lads of wealthy families trying to help her…that would be seen as a different matter.

"If you are willing to make the journey to Bag End, we can keep our leaving secret the Shire secret for some time. But there won't be another way to retrieve you without rousing suspicion," Merry said into the silence.

"You're right," Tabi sighed. "If you don't let me go alone."

"And I will not."

"Then I suppose we will have to tell your father," she agreed. "But what can he do about Lotho?"

"Well, he can see him out of Buckland for the time being, and that would be one less thing to worry about. But I see your point, it would anger him, and he could certainly hold more information than we both know about…It truly pains me to say this, but I think you are right about that, we will have to let the matter of Lotho be."

"I just wish we knew more about what he knows," Tabi sighed, crossing her arms.

"So do I." It was Merry's turn to sigh. "I will have to talk to Fatty now more than ever to go to the South Farthing. We are really going to need those ponies. Of course we will have to tell Fatty at some point. And Pippin and Sam. And eventually Frodo."

"That will put them all at risk too," Tabi interrupted.

"We're all in danger by knowing about the Ring. And I am certain none of them would be quite so willing to take you along if they didn't know about you."

"Good point," she conceded.

Merry sighed. "I really need to talk to Fatty before the night is over then."

"I take it this is at an end then?" Tabi asked, raising an eyebrow.

"For now, it is. Fatty will likely want to hear everything from you, but that is a matter than can wait. Those ponies won't for long." Merry glanced towards a paper in the corner of his desk. "My sellers are threatening to resell if they aren't retrieved soon."

Merry grabbed the letter and tucked it into his breast pocket before standing, Tabi quickly joined him. "Do you think you can make it back to your room without any trouble?"

"I know my around here. At least this area, anyways," Tabi answered, gesturing vaguely.

"That's not what I meant," Merry said with an amused smirk. "You're not going to try to bolt again, are you?"

Tabi couldn't help but roll her eyes. "No, I'm not going to bolt," she replied dutifully.

"Swear?"

"Oh, I'm not swearing anything in Middle-earth," Tabi said with a dark laugh.

"What's that mean?" Merry asked, and Tabi tried to ignore how handsome he was with his brow furrowing in amused confusion.

"Ask me again when we get to Rivendell," she answered. "How's that for a promise?"

"Well, I guess I have to accept that, if that's as good as I'm going to get," he grinned, leading them toward the door.

"For now, it is," she couldn't help responding, feeling a real grin spread across her face.

Merry held the door open as she exited his office. The hobbit closed and locked the door behind him.

Merry chuckled. "I suppose I will see you in the morning then Miss Underhill. I go to find Fredegar Bolger."

"See you in the morning," she replied, with a wave, then two turned their backs to each other, going in opposite directions.

Tabi began down the dim corridor that led towards the Master's apartment. It was some moments of reeling after her last conversation with Merry, before she felt something was off. Tabi stopped in the light of a sconce and looked back behind her.

Merry's nearly nonexistent footsteps were already far away, and she saw nothing in the dim light behind her. No moonlight came in from the windows behind her, all the curtains having been drawn. There was a creak, followed by a hiss behind her, towards the way she had been going.

Tabi whipped around, to find the sconce directly in front of the one she stood under had been put out. "Hello?" she said, knowing damn well she should have turned tail and ran towards Merry. But something kept her still. Curiosity or pride, she wasn't sure.

There came no answer, and she chuckled to herself, before turning around. Pride be damned, she thought. Retracing her footsteps, she debated hurrying on to catch up to Merry sooner rather than later, when a hand slipped over her mouth, and she was hauled backwards.