--
"Alice?" Kaina asks. Whispers, really. Her eyes are wide and luminescent. The light of the fireworks overhead reflects off her irises and dilated pupils. The riotous colors play across Kaina's delicate skin, lending her an even more ethereal air…
Gosh, she's really pretty.
… Gosh, there's a lot you want to say right now! You want to promise your love that you'll never leave her side, no matter what. That as long as you're in her life, she'll never have to feel that terrible, aching sadness again. That you'll love her, no matter what. That you'll chase after her no matter what happens. That all you want to do is hug her to you, make love to her…
But there's an easier way to express the multitude of feelings bursting out within you.
"Kaina, I love you," you say simply. Softly, seriously, you reach down to hold your love's hand. Her pale, slightly clammy hand.
"… Ah…" Kaina whispers, her hand twitching within your own in an involuntary spasm. Her lips thin, her eyes squeeze shut, and she rocks back and forth just a little with her shoulders hunched.
Oh no.
"Kaina, was that too mu- Mmph~!" You blink, your eyes going wide as Kaina grabs your shoulders, clinging onto them for dear life, as if she's afraid you'll run away. She leans in, then, her face rapidly filling your vision.
And she plants her lips on your own in a fumbling, awkward kiss.
"Mmh~!" You moan out… Then decide to close your eyes and enjoy this moment.
Ah~! The sound of the fireworks whistling up into the heavens and exploding and the waves crashing onto the shore. The smell of salt and the delicate tones of your love's natural scent wafting into your nose. The feeling of Kaina's strong, slim hands across your back as your love grips you tightly to her, the feeling of Kaina's soft, dry lips against your own…?
This is bliss. This is heaven.
This is the best kiss you've ever had, fumbling and awkward though it might be. Because it's from the person you love. The cute, cool girl you're so madly in love with.
This moment makes all the buildup worth it.
You are so glad you waited to say "I love you" until this perfect moment.
So very glad.
Ah~!
You love Kaina; you love her, you love her…
A little mewl of disappointment escapes your mouth as Kaina withdraws her lips, panting heavily. Your love's got a healthy flush to her cheeks. A bit of your shared spittle stains the corner of her lovely mouth… As well as just a smidge of your lipstick. You see her stoic face go through some more microexpressions. Panic, nervousness… Then longing. Want. Desire…
"… Alice, I…" Kaina says haltingly, licking about her mouth unconsciously. "Tastes like Alice… I mean… I…"
"You don't have to say it back if you don't want to, Kaina. You can wait. It's fine," you encourage.
"No. I want to say it. Alice… Alice, I love you. I love you too, Alice." Kaina manages to get out. She ducks her head, obviously feeling a bit abashed now. Shy, nervous.
She's in love for the first time. She's got every right to be nervous.
"Did I say it right? Did I act appropriately? Was the kiss too much? I'm sorry, the moment seemed… I was overcome with this compulsion to… To…" Kaina stutters.
"You did everything right, Kaina. Everything," you soothe, leaning in to bump your forehead against your love's, reaching around to give Kaina a quick hug. Gosh, she's so warm. And she's breathing so rapidly…
"I did?" Kaina whispers.
"Yes, you did! It was perfect! You made me so happy!"
"Ah. Then, Alice… Why are you…"
"I'm crying because I'm so happy, you big dummy. You told me you loved me!" You sniffle, feeling the tears beginning to pool in your eyes. "You'd better take responsibility for this, okay? As your new girlfriend, I wanna cuddle all the time!"
"Gi- Girlfriend…?" Kaina asks.
"Yeah! You confessed to me! And I confessed to you. And we kissed!"
"I've… I've never had a girlfriend before…" Kaina swallows, looking a bit dumbstruck. Awed even. "I've… I…"
"Well, I've never gone out with a girl as cool, cute, and earnest as you before. So we're in the same boat!" You say, affecting a truly watery smile. Gosh, it's like ninjas are cutting onions in your eyes. You didn't think you could be this happy…
"Ah. Then I shall… I promise to take care of you. To the utmost of my abilities."
"I promise to take care of you more!" You reply fiercely, then lean in to kiss Kaina again.
And there's not much more that's said after that point.
There's not much more that needs to be said.
--
Kaina Shikinami steps into her apartment still dazed from the night's activities. She reeks of salt and smoke. Her clothes are mussed, with disheveled creases still visible from where they were folded and tucked away. The blonde girl slams the door shut, makes to lie down on her small cot so she can stare up at the ceiling.
Kaina closes her eyes, trying to make sense of the confused, muddied mess her thoughts have become.
She finds that she can't. There aren't good words that describe what she's feeling.
It's like her senses have been messed with. Everything seems so… Bright, and shiny even though it's pitch black. There's a slight ringing in Kaina's ears, phantom echoes haunting her memories. More phantom smells and tastes on Kaina's nose and tongue…
Kaina's felt like this before. This sense of… Synesthesia, where everything tickles and pops. Always on important days. Good and bad days.
When Kaina's mother was laid to rest in front of her eyes, her gray headstone tasted like burnt sugar and ash. When Mitsuko went to heaven in front of Kaina's eyes, Lokwyn's distant roars smelled like copper and blood.
Today, on the best day of Kaina's life? As she shifts in her cot, the rustling of Kaina's clothes smells like… Pumpkin pie. Spicy and sweet, just like Alice's lips. The crash of the distant waves dazzles against Kaina's tongue. The taste of Alice's lips tingles when Kaina squeezes her eyes shut.
The illusory image of lively, expressive pink eyes and fluffy pink hair flashes behind Kaina's eyelids.
Alice, Alice, Alice…
This is how Kaina Shikinami experiences love. With all of her senses, with every fiber of her being. Love vines about her heart, and her heart embraces it. Love fills Kaina's thoughts, and she welcomes it.
"… Alice, I love you," Kaina says again, testing those words, and she feels a shiver run down her spine. But this isn't a bad feeling. It's a good one. Warmth blooms in Kaina's chest, and something light fills her heart…
The ever-present cold, empty feeling Kaina Shikinami's grown so accustomed to is gone. Chased away by the memory of Alice's presence in Kaina's life…
Kaina didn't even realize it was possible to be this happy. To feel this excited.
She didn't realize it was possible to feel this warm…
Kaina stays like that for a long moment, content to stay in her cot and bask in this warm sensation.
Then more thoughts come into her mind. It's… It's not enough to just lie here and wait. That's all Kaina usually does. And the thought of waiting interminably for Alice to call again, for more work orders to come in…
… Something about that twinges in Kaina's mind. It makes her deeply uncomfortable. Because for the first time in a long time, Kaina's remembered what it's like to be truly happy again. And she knows now that what she's doing right now? Lying here, waiting, like a corpse ready to be put in its grave?
It's not making Kaina happy. Not nearly as happy as she is when she's with Alice.
And Alice wants Kaina to be happy. Because Alice is… Is in love with Kaina Shikinami. Kaina isn't extraneous. Kaina isn't 'Kaina-can't-do-anything.' Kaina Shikinami is an existence that matters to Alice Takanashi. A person who's cherished by Alice. The cutest, coolest, most earnest girl to Alice.
… So.
It's time Kaina started acting the part. Because Alice made it clear that she'd be terribly sad if Kaina wasn't happy. And because Kaina finds herself wanting to cling to this happiness now. For Alice's sake, and because…
Because...
Because truth be told, now that the cold, empty pit in Kaina's stomach is gone? She's found that she never wants to return to feeling that way. Ever.
"… I want to be happy," Kaina Shikinami whispers to herself with all the childish, limitless determination her little heart can muster. The unwavering determination that's made her the bane to all monsters everywhere, as the cool, invincible heroine Infinity Princess. "And I want to make Alice happy."
But how can Kaina Shikinami make a girl like Alice Takanashi happy? What gifts can she give Alice, that Alice hasn't already bestowed upon Kaina…?
Unbidden, Kaina's eyes go to the far corner of the room, where an easel and canvas are laid out.
Painting, drawing, those used to be hobbies of Kaina's before… Well. Before everything. Something was soothing about the art of creating art. Of accurately reproducing everything Kaina saw in her life with stunning detail. Mitsuko always used to praise Kaina when it came to her drawings. As an aspiring mangaka, every week Mitsuko and Kaina would spend hours going over linework, editing character designs, creating background landscapes, marking up full-color panels…
Strange. When Kaina thinks about Mitsuko now, it doesn't hurt. It feels easier. Lighter, almost.
Kaina gets up, examining her easel and the canvas laid out on it. Ah, it's Kaina's last work. The piece she started before her tour around the Pacific, when the corporations still ran the MGA. A dark, looming reptilian monstrosity takes place of prominence in the center of the canvas. Below him, a city burns, ash falling like snow from the grey firmament of the sky…
The bottom half of the canvas is mostly unfinished. The outlines are there, but there's no paint, no color on the bottom half of this painting. Even then, time's worn away at the faint marks pencil marks Kaina left so very long ago. This piece will probably remain unfinished forever.
It's better that way, really.
Kaina gently sets aside her old, unfinished painting and grabs a new canvas. Out come her old sets of oil paints, her pencil, and brush cases. She gently wipes the dust off of these old, well-loved items, coughing as a small cloud of dust billows up in front of her face.
It really has been a while, hasn't it…? Kaina reaches for a few tissues now, wipes her hands clean, wipes the dust off of her easel, her paintbrush cases, her phone…
… Kaina's phone looms almost ominously in front of her. The blonde girl pauses, a slight tremor twitching at her hand. She closes her eyes and breathes in heavily.
Right. Patrol. Work. Kaina's scheduled to work next week, to patrol next week. To safeguard the city like she always does next week.
"Next week" starts in a few hours for Kaina. For Infinity Princess. Arguably sooner, even. Because Infinity Princess doesn't need rest. Infinity Princess is the greatest heroine in Terminus City. In order to create a world where everybody can be happy, and nobody cries, Infinity Princess has to be constantly working.
This means Kaina's supposed to be heading in to Steele Tower in a few hours so she can start patrol again. Kaina's supposed to check her phone for notifications to see where Infinity Princess needs to be, and when. Kaina Shikinami's supposed to transform into the heroine Infinity Princess and head out to protect the city again. Infinity Princess is who this city needs, Kaina Shikinami's not supposed to stay as… As…
…
What was it that Alice said? That love was insanity? That it'd lead Kaina to do things she wouldn't do otherwise? Well. Kaina must have truly gone mad then to be thinking about doing this…
Kaina takes a deep breath, grabs her phone, and unlocks it.
Then she starts texting.
Kaina: Steele, I would like to make a scheduling request.
Steele: IP? the heck are you doing texting me so late? is everything okay?
Kaina: I would like to request time off this week and a reduction in my weekly work schedule hours starting next week. I have a time-sensitive social event I would like to attend and an ongoing project I'd like to complete before that event.
Steele: hold on are you seriously asking me if it's okay for you to work less in
Kaina: Yes.
Steele: You're seriously asking me if it's okay if I reduce the crazy amount of hours you work.
Kaina: Yes.
Steele: Okay. Is this because you have another date scheduled?
Kaina: In part. I am also working on a... Gift I would like to prepare for my girlfriend, to present to her for our next date.
Steele: holy fucking shit
Steele: Sorry, unprofessional, god, I just
Steele: Okay. Request approved. I'll just badger the TCPD into doing the crap they should've already been doing instead of letting you carry their asses.
Steele: How many hours am I bumping you down by?
Kaina:I believe a 100 hour workweek will suffice for now.
Steele: No. No more than 80.
Kaina: This will create even more holes in our patrol schedule, Steele.
Steele: Yeah, well, we've got a lull in monster attacks right now, and the rookies are picking up the slack, and the damn TCPD and Mendesdyn security a-holes need to learn that we aren't always going to be there to do their jobs for them.
Kaina's frowns at that last message from Maxine Steele, a bit of unease creeping into her mind. This argument's honestly a bit familiar. Kaina – Infinity Princess – can't remember the number of times she's argued with Steele about her patrol hours, but…
It feels odd, for Kaina to want to decrease her patrol hours for once. It feels odd to see Steele's message that it's perfectly okay for Kaina to reduce her patrol hours and feel… Not good, but relieved? And maybe just a little guilty…?
Steele: Look I'm not interested in relitigating this argument with you IP just
Steele: spend time with your girlfriend please? And stop worrying about the city! We'll be fine.
Kaina: Okay. I will try.
Steele: And can we talk about this later? All of it? If you have time? Because there is a lot to unpack from this conversation and I do not have nearly enough coffee in my system to process this right now.
Kaina: Okay. Talk to you soon.
Steele: Yeah. Talk to you later.
Steele: ...I guess my dating advice really paid off then, huh?
Kaina: I suppose it did. I had an enjoyable time. Alice did as well. The beach was an excellent choice of venue. Thank you, Steele.
Steele: np, np, just send me invites to the wedding :)
Kaina: ?
Steele: it was a joke, IP just
Steele: ugh w/e
Steele:Harris is back, gotta go, ttyl
Kaina stares at her phone, then quietly powers it off. No more disturbances. No checking Steeletech's early warning systems, no scrolling through TCPD dispatches, no alerts, no warnings, no wait even. For the first time in a long time, Kaina's willingly left herself with a chunk of time where she's allowed to be Kaina Shikinami.
Where… Where she can remain Kaina Shikinami and stay by Alice Takanashi's side. Where she doesn't have to be Infinity Princess all the time.
Kaina inhales, exhales, lets all the tension in her slender body evaporate out through her breath.
Strange. It's as if a monumentally heavy weight's just been lifted from Kaina's shoulders. Like something's changed in the air Kaina's breathing. Everything feels more… Refreshing. Lighter. Easier.
It feels nice.
Kaina doesn't realize it herself, but she's smiling as she opens her pencil case and gets to work on her hobby again for the first time in years. All of her worries, all of her fears, and all of her anxiety's been left behind. The only thing that remains are Kaina's thoughts about the girl she loves and the wonderful images swirling inside her head.
Images Kaina can't wait to reproduce on the blank, white canvas set out in front of her.
There's only one question Kaina's left with. What kind of images will Alice like the most…?